She could not remember the last time she had been this bone-weary. Teyla allowed her head to fall back against the headrest, conscious of the plastic sheeting that Dr. Beckett had insisted on using to cover the seat of the puddle jumper. He was speaking to Ford now and she let the strange, lilting accent wash over her without paying attention to what he was saying. She didn't understand him half the time anyway, but she enjoyed the sound of his voice--even when he was complaining. He would have been complaining more vociferously though, had she not insisted that he go back and change his shoes earlier this morning. They had been prepping to fly to the mainland in order to survey the post-storm damage to the settlement and crops. Ford was busy with the pre-flight; she was in the middle of loading supplies when Dr. Beckett had arrived with a medical kit in order to render any needed assistance to those Athosians who had chosen to stay behind and ride out the storm. She had taken one look at the light-weight jacket and thin-soled shoes he was wearing and sent him away for more substantial gear. She had suspected at the time his clothing choice was an intentional effort at restricting his purpose to that of medical assistance only, but she managed to convince the comfort-loving doctor that he would really object to having wet feet all day long.
She regretted now having not chosen to remove her own military jacket and boots prior to strapping in for the ride back to Atlantis. Her mud-saturated clothing was startlingly heavy and beginning to become somewhat stiff as the thick clay started to dry. She was getting colder by the second and thought longingly of the hot shower that awaited her back at the city. No matter what you thought of these visitors from Earth, they certainly had some amazing advantages over her own people. Certainly, there had been hot springs on her own world, but they smelled dreadful and you had to hike at least an hour to reach them. Back at Atlantis, the miraculous technology of the Ancients held many wonders for her new-found friends but she believed indoor running water to be one of the best inventions ever. A seemingly never ending supply of boiling hot water all by turning on a simple tap. Hot water was good. Soap was good. She could not wait to rid herself of her clammy clothing reeking as it did of some primordial ooze. She found herself vividly recalling the day Dr. Weir had walked her into a storage area and invited her to take what she needed back to her quarters. She thought that the generosity of the people of Earth was appealing and yet incredibly wasteful at the same time. Did they not have any concept of how hard it would be to manufacture or replace that which they so freely gave away? Teyla had selected a single bar of soap in a pale purple color and deeply inhaled its sweet, floral fragrance.
"What's that you have there?" Dr. Weir had smiled and then smelled the proffered bar. "Oooh, lilacs. My grandmother used to wear that scent all the time. If you like that, you will probably like the lavender too." She had moved away, attention already turning to the contents of other containers as Teyla stared after her. Teyla had made a mental note at the time to discuss with Dr. Weir the need to start training the personnel of Atlantis in some of the more basic homesteading skills. It was clear that while they were very aware of their need for the power to run their technological equipment, these people of Earth were so accustomed to their luxuries that they considered them staples.
There was a slight jolt as the jumper touched down and Teyla realized with a start she had fallen asleep. She shifted her position slightly in her chair and felt the leaden weight in her thighs that warned her she would be terribly sore tomorrow. She began to yawn and winced at the dried mud cracking and tightening across her face. Ugh. A hot shower. A hot drink. Maybe some of the coffee the Earthers liked so much. If you added enough sugar, you could just make it palatable. That is, if Dr. McKay had not finished the last of it. The Major had warned her that it was not a good idea to drink too much of it at one time as it was a stimulant. She recalled he had referred to it as the most abused legal drug on his world (whatever that meant) but no one seemed to be able to persuade Dr. McKay of that fact. The fast-talking scientist seemed bent on storing as much of the disappearing resource inside of himself as possible.
She was just starting to unbuckle the straps and struggle to her feet when she caught Ford's eye. He had twisted around in his seat to speak to her but seemed to be having trouble controlling his expression. "I'm sorry," he burst out at last. "It is just that you look so...so..." he trailed away helplessly.
"She is lucky to be alive." Dr Beckett's accent became more pronounced with the scolding. "That mudslide was a nasty bit o' business, coming as it did. It was a miracle that no one was hurt."
No, no one was hurt, Teyla thought wearily. It was just that the sudden rush of mud swept in and in a few seconds had undone all the efforts of her people for the last 6 months, not to mention all the back-breaking work she herself had put in today on rebuilding damaged dwellings. She had felt the ground tremble but before she could react, the river of mud had shifted suddenly down the hillside and knocked her off her feet. There had been that awful, paralyzing moment of fear when she had been completely covered, choking as the thick stuff invaded her nose and throat. She had thought that she was going to die when hands suddenly grabbed hold of her and pulled her out its deadly embrace. She could only imagine what she looked like now, caked from head to foot in thick, black, evil-smelling slime. She managed a weak smile at Ford, the kind that says, "ha-ha, very funny" and staggered to the door of the jumper.
As the hatch opened, she felt an odd sense of homecoming staring out into the landing bay. She wasn't sure why, unless it was the fact that she was so very glad to have returned at last. A few people moved with purpose in and out of the bay on various errands. Somewhere in the distant background, a worker was playing music one of the Earther's musical devices. It had a catchy beat unlike the rhythms of the music of her home world and she liked the sound of the...horns? Brass? Whatever. She liked the name "Aretha" too. That would make a nice name for a little girl...odd though that she had not been able to get a clear definition as to what "sock it to me" meant however...
She sighed. I must be really tired, she thought with a small silent giggle. Ford and Beckett were either talking or arguing behind her; it didn't matter. She began moving gingerly down the ramp as the bay doors opened and Major Sheppard, dogged by an angry Dr. McKay, entered the area. McKay was waving a PDA at the Major, gesticulating wildly as he argued some point. Sheppard had been politely ignoring him when his eye caught sight of Teyla standing on the ramp. Deceptively casual, he made his way over to the jumper, McKay following in his wake
From the quick assessment of his eyes, Teyla knew that Sheppard had taken in her appearance, as well as the presence of Ford and Beckett behind her and had rapidly processed the information that no one was seriously hurt before the wide grin broke across his face. "Teyla." Amusement won out over concern. "New look for you?" McKay seemed to finally register that something else was going on around him and he stared open-mouthed at her.
Mustering all the dignity she could gather, Teyla wiped a chunk of mud from the corner of her mouth and spoke. "Major Sheppard." Her voice was crisp. "You are standing between me and the shower."
Sheppard grinned even wider, took a half step backward and bowed, sweeping his left arm towards the open bay and the outer doors. Teyla lifted her chin, acknowledged the bow with a slight nod and started down the ramp. McKay had begun to splutter "What on earth happened to you?" even as Beckett was endeavoring to explain when Teyla's booted foot slipped right out from under her on the ramp and she began to fall. She sensed rather than saw the movement beside her as Sheppard started forward to catch her, but she had already begun to cartwheel her arms to aid her balance and felt a sodden "thwack" as her left arm smacked him upside the face. She landed hard on her rump, fell to her back and continued to slide down the ramp, wiping Sheppard's feet out from under him as she went. He landed with an "ooof!" on the decking beside her.
She lifted her head to see Sheppard struggling to sit upright. "Hey, are you alri...." he began before grimacing and throwing an arm up over his nose. "Jeez, what is that smell? Ugh!" He hastily pulled his arm down and stared at the black slime now covering it. Uncertain, he cautiously sniffed his sleeve again and then reeled back from the odor. "Ack," he gagged. "It's you!" He had a liberal coating of mud down one half of his face as well. He began to try and scrub the mud off his sleeve, succeeding only in spreading the sludge further over his clothing.
Teyla began to laugh. Just a giggle at first, then louder. She caught sight of Sheppard's outraged expression and laughed even harder. She laid her head back on the decking and howled with laughter, pulling her knees up to her abdomen and shaking with the effort. Sheppard shifted his weight to one arm and started to get to his feet, only to have his hand slide out from under him in a patch of mud. He landed on the point of his elbow as he fell back to the decking. Cursing vehemently under his breath, he growled out, "So you think this is funny, eh?" She paused in her laughter for a moment, looked at him solemnly, and then flicked her fingers at his face. A large clump of mud landed with a splat alongside his nose. Sheppard's eyebrows climbed into his hairline and for a moment, Teyla thought he was going to pounce on her. Then she began to laugh again.
It was contagious. Sheppard started to grin, then chuckle. Soon, Ford and Beckett were clutching their bellies and reeling in the hatchway of the puddle jumper as they whooped and gasped with laughter, hiccupping like drunk men. Sheppard laid his head down on his slimy forearm and chortled helplessly. Even McKay had begun to laugh, though in fits and starts, as though laughter was a vehicle that had not been started in some time. Sheppard managed to regain his footing and reached down to pull Teyla up off the ramp, but her hand slid out of his and she landed with a small thump back on the ramp again. Her renewed laughter was so hard she began to cough but every time the laughter died down, someone made eye contact with someone else and it would all start up again.
"Hee, hee", McKay wheezed. "Oh my, that is really funny." Sheppard had finally succeeding in pulling Teyla to her feet when McKay's words caught his attention. He locked eyes with Teyla briefly and she saw them narrow, like a woodland predator that had just sighted dinner. Letting go of her hand, he swiped down her arm and collected a generous supply of mud. Turning towards McKay with an evil grin, he took aim.
"Oh no, no you don't, no, no, no!" McKay shouted, backing away. Sheppard let fly and McKay ducked, surprisingly agile for his frame. The glop of mud sailed past his shoulder and he squealed, tucking his PDA inside his jacket and bolting for the stairs to the upper level. He skidded a little in his haste as he hit the stairs, but quickly regained traction and pelted up the treads. "Oh c'mon, Rodney!" Sheppard shouted, "Don't be like that!"
As one, Teyla and Sheppard turned and looked up the ramp at Ford and Beckett. Ford hit Beckett on the shoulder with the back of his hand and they hastily beat a retreat into the forward compartment of the jumper, the door sliding shut even as Sheppard sprinted up the ramp towards them. Undaunted, Sheppard made his way back down to Teyla, humming a peculiar two note musical theme that sounded strangely ominous. He reached her just as she was struggling to shed her jacket and with a flourish he relieved her of its weight. He held it up speculatively, turning it from side to side. Running his hand down the length of one sleeve, he squeezed out mud into his palm. Teyla raised a single eyebrow at him. He raised both eyebrows back at her in rapid succession. "I need more ammo." His grin was positively feral. Tossing the jacket over one shoulder with rakish air, he made for the bottom of the stairs. Teyla walked back up the ramp to the jumper.
"Oh Rodney," Sheppard sang out, looking up as he waited at the foot of the stairs. "You know if we didn't like you, we wouldn't ask you to play." He glanced back at Teyla and winked. Teyla found herself grinning back at him and then turned to rap on the door of the front compartment. "Dr Beckett?" she called out. She rapped again.
Static crackled briefly over the external speakers of the jumper before the stentorious voice of the doctor boomed, "GO AWAY". Somehow the accent made it funnier and Teyla started giggling again. Sheppard was still snickering when something flew down from above and exploded on the back of his head. In shock, he jumped backwards from the stairs, dropping the jacket and standing with his arms outstretched to avoid the worst of the onslaught as water dripped onto his face. It combined with the mud to run in dark rivulets down his face and neck. He shook his head to clear it of the water, causing his hair to stand up in spikes. On the ground at his feet lay a creepy looking object--at first Teyla thought it was a Wraith's hand.
"What is that?" she asked as Sheppard picked it up between two fingers and held it out in front of him as though it really were a Wraith's hand.
"One of Beckett's surgical gloves that has been fashioned into a water balloon." From above their heads laughter, genuine laughter, sounded. They both looked up. "I'll give him that much, he certainly is a resourceful little bugger."
McKay was standing near the rail, performing what Teyla had come to think of as the Earther's victory dance--that peculiar movement where they pulled fist and elbow abruptly into their sides, sometimes pulling a knee up and forward as well, all while hissing "YES!"
Sheppard tilted his head back and bellowed, "You're a dead man, McKay!" McKay ducked down behind the railing. Seconds later came the sound of a door opening and closing. Cursing, Sheppard ran back to the jacket crumpled on the floor and tried to scrape off some more mud. Squeezing and shaking the rest of the "water balloon" onto the jacket, he managed to reconstitute some of the slime, even as it was beginning to harden to the consistency of concrete. Muttering, he tried to mold the mud into a suitable object for throwing all the while getting back to his feet without using his hands. Sheppard was headed for the bay doors when they suddenly opened. He let fly instinctively.
"Oh!" There was a startled cry from Dr. Weir as the mudball found its target squarely in the middle of her chest, landing with enough force to splatter up on to her face.
Teyla was too far away from Sheppard to be sure, but she thought he mouthed "oops". She glanced quickly at the upper level to see McKay peering down at them and then hastily ducking behind the railing again. She looked back at Dr. Weir, who was calmly wiping a portion of mud off her face and flicking it, ever so carefully, to the floor.
"Dr. Weir, I am so sorry." Sheppard reached out for her as though to help remove the mud but she pulled back slightly and fixed him with a frosty smile.
"Quit while you are ahead, Major."
There was an awkward pause in which the entire planet seemed to hold its breath. "Major." Dr. Weir began at last. "When you have a moment, I would like to meet with you to discuss the priorities for the recovery effort."
"Um, right. Sure. I mean, yes of course, Dr. Weir." Teyla was riveted---could it possibly be that Sheppard was blushing?
"Very well," Dr Weir nodded. "Carry on." She turned smartly and headed back for the landing bay doors. Sheppard was grimacing with his eyes shut, hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand repeatedly when Dr. Weir turned in the entranceway once more. "Oh, and Major..." Sheppard hastily looked up. "Be sure and clean up the mess when you are through," she said sweetly.
Teyla started down the ramp, ready to explain, ready to take the blame. "We will of course all help clean up," she began.
Dr. Weir raised her hand to stop her. "No, Teyla, I think this is a task for which the Major is imminently suited." She smiled and waltzed out of the landing bay. A moment before the bay doors closed, the sound of her laughter drifted in from the halls.