Carson sat on the balcony; staring out across the ocean, his mind continuously going over the events of the past few days, wishing he knew what he could have done to persuade the Hoffans that they were wrong.
“Here,” a mug was thrust into his hands and Carson looked up, surprised to find Rodney standing above him, another mug in his hand.
The scientist slid down the wall to sit beside him as Carson sniffed the clear liquid in the mug, wincing at the fumes.
“Athosian alcohol,” Rodney noted, “Possibly able to be used as industrial cleaner, Radek’s looking into that but you need it.”
Carson sighed, placing the mug down, “Look, Rodney I appreciate the gesture but I prefer to be alone just now.”
“You may want to be alone,” Rodney told him, taking an experimental sip before wincing and placing his own mug to one side, “But it’s not exactly the best thing for you.”
Carson frowned confused by how Rodney was acting like…well a real person, “And since when did you become the expert?”
Completely unfazed by Carson, Rodney pulled out a power bar and started eating looking out across the waves.
“Rodney!!!” Carson snapped.
“I know how you’re feeling, Carson,” Rodney’s voice was almost so soft Carson didn’t hear him, “I’ve watched someone I care about fade away while I was completely helpless to stop it.”
Carson swallowed as he realised what Rodney was saying, “Alisa’s mother.”
His friend nodded, not looking round; Carson wanted to ask what had happened but he knew that Rodney telling him this much was unusual.
“Yes,” Rodney turned to him.
“Perna made her own choice,” Carson sighed, “She knew the consequences.”
“It doesn’t mean you can’t hate her for that,” Rodney told him.
Carson was amazed by how well Rodney was reading him; Rodney didn’t understand people at all. This meant the other man had experienced it all.
“Do you hate Alisa’s mother?” Carson couldn’t stop himself from asking.
Rodney turned away from him and for a moment Carson thought he’d pushed too far but he wanted to forget everything he’d done on that planet.
“Every so often, yes,” Rodney answered before sighing; he took a swig from the mug at his side, gagging at the taste, “Forget fighting the Wraith, just let them try that once and they’ll run screaming,” Rodney pushed the mug away.
“In that case I’ll pass,” Carson pushed his own further away, leaning his head back against the wall.
They sat in silence for several minutes, both men caught up in their own thoughts.
“Lis was six months pregnant when we found out she had cancer,” Rodney suddenly spoke up, making Carson turn to him, “We had no idea she was sick. I just thought she was tired because of the baby and the fact she was still studying late into the night.”
Rodney stood up and moved to lean against the railing; “The doctor thought she was probably anaemic so they took some blood. I went with her to get the results, cause we were going to get some stuff for the baby and when he told us we were both overwhelmed.”
He stopped again the events from such a long time ago crushing him but he knew that telling Carson this was the only way he could help his friend. Looking over to where Carson sat watching him, Rodney sighed softly.
“I reacted badly,” Rodney continued, “I threw myself into my studies while Lis dug up every piece of information she could on her condition. Telling her parents was hell but Lis, as always, took charge and told us all she wasn’t doing anything that could hurt her baby. The baby she could feel move every day, the baby I talked to every night.”
Carson stood up moving to stand at his friend’s side.
“She was so strong,” Rodney told him, “But…” he stopped, swallowing hard, “But she deteriorated so fast that by the time Lissa was born, she wasn't strong enough to handle the treatment.”
“I’m sorry, Rodney,” Carson told him, “You didn’t need to tell me this.”
Rodney frowned at him, “The point is, Carson, you did everything you could on Hoff but those people were never going to listen to you. Perna made up her mind and once someone like that makes up their mind, there’s nothing you can do.”
Carson sighed, “Did her mother get to hold Alisa before she died?”
Rodney closed his eyes and nodded, “She died holding her,” Rodney pushed himself off the railing and left Carson standing.
The doctor stood watching his friend’s back who, for the second time, had let Carson know something he never spoke of.
*********************************************
Rodney sat going over reports from his team ‘s latest test results on the outpost, checking his watch he realised he was to meet Carson soon for a working lunch as it was the only time they could both get in their schedules.
“Dr McKay?” a timid voice made him look over to find one of his staff members standing, a young woman with bright red hair and large glasses.
“What?” he snapped, he had very little time and a lot of work to do before he headed home for his one week with Alisa.
“There’s a call for you,” the woman told him, gratefully disappearing now her message had been imparted.
Rodney frowned, the only reason anyone would be calling him here in Antarctica was there was something wrong with his daughter, considering how hard it was to get through to him.
Leaving his work, Rodney headed to find out what had happened, trying to keep his worry at bay.
“McKay,” he barked sharply.
“Rodney, its Diane,” the woman on the other end told him, “There’s nothing to worry about, I’m just calling you because…well…”
“Is Alisa alright?” Rodney demanded.
“She’s fine,” Diane replied calmly, “She was however suspended from school today for a week.”
“What?” Rodney shook his head in disbelief, not noticing Carson arrive behind him, “Put her on would you.”
He waited impatiently as his daughter came on the phone.
“Dad,” she said nervously.
“What did you do?” Rodney demanded.
“Ah…” she hesitated.
“Alisa, you have been suspended from school the week I’m home and you are already now grounded for a month,” he snapped, “If you want to persuade me not to make it two then start talking.”
Rodney listened in astonishment as she explained to him what had happened and Rodney had to cover the mouthpiece so she didn’t hear him laughing. When she finished her explanation, Rodney took a deep breath.
“Alright,” he said, keeping his voice level, “We’ll talk about this when I get home. You know the rules for being grounded and I’ll be talking to Diane about it. I’ll be back soon.”
“Yes, Dad,” she whispered.
“Put Diane back on the phone,” he ordered; relieved he hadn’t laughed while talking to her, since he didn’t want to undermine how serious this was.
“Rodney?” Diane came back on.
“I’ll be home in a few days, I’ll call when I can give you an actual time,” Rodney explained quickly, “She’s grounded for a month. So this includes no TV, no movies and no internet. She is to study during the day and don’t let her out of it.”
“Don’t worry, Rodney. I can handle Alisa’s punishment,” Diane told him, “They want to see you at the school as well, so I’ve made an appointment for you for Wednesday.”
“Thanks, Diane,” Rodney sighed, “Tell her I’ll see her soon.”
Rodney placed down the phone and rubbed the bridge of his nose; turning he stopped, finding Carson standing watching him looking bemused.
Carson hadn’t been surprised to discover Rodney was late for their meeting, the man ran on his own time system. Deciding to look for him, Dr Spears one of the biochemists told him where Rodney was, so he’d gone to catch him after the call.
“How long have you been there?” Rodney demanded when he saw his friend.
“A few minutes,” Carson replied, dying to ask who Rodney had been talking to but knew better, “Something wrong?”
Rodney let out bark of annoyance, “I was talking to my daughter.”
“You have a daughter?” disbelief filled Carson’s voice, despite what he’d overheard.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
Rodney grimaced at the incredulity that his friend had in his voice, “Yes.”
“Well that explains where you disappear to every few weeks,” Carson mused, “So, is something wrong?”
Rodney rolled his eyes, “She’s been suspended from school.”
“That’s bad,” Carson sympathised.
“It’s incredible,” Rodney laughed suddenly, “I just wish I could find some way to get her to focus on her homework as much.”
Carson stared at him bemused.
“Alisa, my daughter,” Rodney explained, “Is extremely smart. If she’s interested in the subject but if she isn’t then she doesn’t even try.”
Carson pulled over a seat, “How old is she?”
“Fifteen,” Rodney pulled out a picture of the two of them, “This was taken at her birthday about a month before I came here.”
Carson took the picture; smiling at the image of Rodney and his friend’s daughter, suddenly realising how much of a mystery his friend was to him. He handed back the picture to Rodney who looked at it for a few moments before putting it away.
“Where is she while you’re here?” Carson probed gently.
“She’s staying with her best friend’s family,” Rodney explained, crossing his arms defiantly as Carson opened his mouth, “Not exactly the ideal situation I know but it was the best I could arrange at such short notice.”
Carson decided to change the topic, seeing his friend about to stop talking, “What did she do to get suspended?”
Rodney laughed suddenly, “You understand, officially I’m mad as hell.”
“And unofficially?” Carson asked interested.
“One of her friends was being bullied by an older boy,” Rodney explained, “So Alisa took it on herself to get him back.”
Carson leaned forward, “How?”
“She fixed his locker so that it sprayed foam when he opened it, managed to soak his things while he was in the gym and my absolute favourite,” Rodney laughed again, “She superglued him to his seat in English class, despite the fact she wasn’t even in the same class.”
Carson looked confused, “How…”
“She created a small pellet of some sort that she dropped onto his seat in the cafeteria,” Rodney told his friend proudly, “It was designed to stick to his pants originally but it didn’t do anything until it heated up. Once at body temperature, the packaging disintegrated and superglue.”
“That’s brilliant,” Carson laughed, “How did she get caught?”
“That’s the thing that’s keeping me from grounding her for life,” Rodney continued, “She confessed. Apparently the boy was blaming her friend so Alisa stepped forward.”
“You must be proud of her,” Carson noted, before laughing at his friend’s grin, “I mean for stepping forward not for the tricks she played.”
“I am,” Rodney checked his watch, “Aren’t we meant to be eating?”
Carson laughed and led the way for them to get some food.
When Rodney arrived back after his week away, Carson found that the scientist openly talked about his daughter to him now, except if there was anyone else around. Carson had always known Rodney was a private man but the fact he kept his child a secret confused him.
“Alisa is mine,” Rodney snapped at him when he dared one day to ask the question, “My life is no one else’s business. I am here to help discover the secrets of this place not to let every Tom, Dick or Harry wander through my private life.”
“Surely it’s hard on you not to talk about her,” Carson replied, “I mean, you’re very proud of Alisa.”
Rodney shrugged, “You know now.”
Carson rolled his eyes but never brought it up again.
*********************************************
Carson could hear the sound of laughter as he entered the mess, looking over he saw Rodney sitting with John, Zelenka, Peter and Alisa. Alisa was gesturing wildly, similar to her father’s usual method of talking, obviously in the middle of a story.
Rodney glanced up and saw him standing there; the scientist tilted his head slightly questioningly.
With a sigh, Carson walked over to join his friends. As he took a seat, they all acknowledged him; they all held the question in their eyes, wanting to know how he was.
Carson took a seat beside Alisa, “What did I miss?”
“Alisa was regaling us with how she was suspended from school,” John answered with a laugh, “With Rodney adding a few details.”
“I remember that,” Carson grinned, settling in to enjoy the rest of the story.
As the girl continued, he looked around the table; his friends were here and he had people he could turn to. He would never forget what had happened on Hoff but sitting with the people he cared for he felt the weight lift.
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