Turning Corners
Turning Corners
by Anneka OCarter
Summary: "He prayed for her to come back into his life, just for her to be there. He didn't care whether she would ignore him all day, he just wanted his daughter in his life."
Category: Alternate Universe, Angst
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 01/03/04
Title: Turning Corners
Summary: "He prayed for her to come back into his life, just for her to be there. He didn't care whether she would ignore him all day, but he just wanted his daughter in his life."
A/N: Sequel to "Powerless". The last? in the Change In Series.
*
He couldn't help it. He really couldn't. His eye was always half watching the door, just expecting her to walk back in, complaining about her algebra teacher and watch mindless cartoons all night.
He prayed for her to come back into his life, just for her to be there. He didn't care whether she would ignore him all day, but he just wanted his daughter in his life.
No parent should outlive their child.
And it was hard. Waking up everyday and knowing that he was going to have to get used to her not being in the kitchen when he walked down with an inane grin on her face, or that she wouldn't be dozing on the couch at midnight, staying up to make sure he got home from base in one piece.
It actually made him sick sometimes, thinking back to when she was alive and he was still working his butt off, not seeing her from one week to the next. She was the parent, staying up all night and looking heartbroken when he didn't call to let her know he was alright. He should have realised sooner, he thinks.
But then hindsight can be a terrible thing. And doesn't he know it? All the nights he spends on the roof, watching the stars and wondering if she's watching them, wishing her life on Earth was different.
Sometimes Sam will come up too, desperately worried that he's shutting her out. She'll sit beside him silently and they'll watch the stars together as she slowly drifts into sleep.
He doesn't know where he'd be without her. And, of course, his baby daughter. The only two things that have been keeping him going this last year. If it weren't for those two lights at the end of the tunnel, he would have killed himself months ago. But as he watches his sleeping wife, he knows that he wouldn't give up this life. Just like Charlotte didn't want to.
Things had become better, more relaxed. He'd been a father and she'd been a daughter. She'd taken hold of life with both hands and refused to let go, grasping at every opportunity. Until she'd been diagnosed terminally ill. The two words he never thought he'd live to see his daughter have to understand.
And then, one night, she'd stopped grasping. She'd stopped reaching at life and let darkness take over her like she knew it always would. He often wonders if he saw anything in her that night; anything that should have clued him in on what she was about to do? Could he have stopped her? Could he have made her hold on just a few more weeks?
Endless questions with no answers. Answers that he will never find. Moments he will never forget.
Her photo still takes pride of place on the mantelpiece, something that his new daughter will be able to look to as he tells her about Charlotte. And that was hard too. Seeing her belongings round the house; her shoes and clothes still in the laundry.
A note round her favourite outfit reading; Daddy, will you bury me in this dress? Parents should never have to stand at a funeral and read out their child's eulogy. Life wasn't supposed to work like that.
And he felt like a traitor to her sometimes; forgetting to cry about her, or to look at photographs. His grief over her death tempered with the joy of his daughter's birth. And he knew that Sam felt the same; the happiness and then suddenly a flash of sadness when she watched Georgia play with Charlotte's beloved toys told him more than words ever could.
He knew his daughter was gone. Because life wasn't like the movies. There was never any spectacular and improbable return before the curtains close and happily ever after for every character. She was dead and he was going to have to learn to live his life without her.
But that would never stop his subconscious dreaming in the sanctity of sleep. Reality couldn't stop him. It would never stop him dreaming of the perfect future.
*
"One more day, one more time...
One more sunset... I'd be satisfied, but then again
I know what it would do...
Leave me wishing still for one more day with you."
*
I really hope you like this and it inspires you to read the rest of my work or even write your own! I'm currently looking for a Beta (desperately) and if you wouldn't mind checking over my fanfiction (heh, read it before everyone else!) email me at shirleym_@hotmail.com
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Anneka OCarter
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