Friends never say goodbay
Friends never say goodbay
by Anna.
TITLE: Friends never say goodbay
AUTHOR: Anna.
EMAIL: stargategirl86@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam/Jack Romance...I guess
SPOILERS: no !
SEASON / SEQUEL: 3
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: Jack's language...and some kissing [male/female relationship]
SUMMARY: Jack wants to leave the SGC
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'd really love feedback. Thanks to Julinar, Jenni, Sanna and others.
"Incoming travellers", said lt. Graham Simmons, "it's SG-1, sir" he looked at Hammond.
"Well it's about time", General smiled and looked at the 'gate. He never actually understood how did the gate thing work, but he had that pretty amazing feeling every time some of SG-teams came through it. SG-1 wasn't just the best team he had, no, they were more like family or something. Anyway, they were coming through and George was interested to see if they found any signs of life on the damn planet, which name was something like, well, something. The address was P3X-558.
SG-1 came through the 'gate carrying something. It looked like a kind of body, but George wasn't sure. But he was sure that he was very happy that the guys were safe and back.
Teal'c and Daniel were carrying the alien being, and Sam walked slowly near Jack. What the hell, thought Hammond. He took the microphone and asked are they allright.
"Just fine, sir, but my damn knees suddenly decided to remind me of them", said O'Neill. He sound like usual, so Hammond relaxed. Damn, he cared about his team more than he ever thought he would.
Liar, liar, thought Jack to himself. I'm just getting damn too old for this stuff. That's all. Dammit. He didn't want to think anymore. About anything.
By this time Sam, Teal'c and Daniel gave the alien to dr. Frasier and came back to get Jack.
"Are you sure you're okay, sir ?" asked Sam. She was worried about Jack. She just didn't want to admit how much.
"I want to hear your report in an hour. I'd be glad if you'd come right now", said Hammond.
"Yes, sir", Sam replied as she noticed that no one else was going to say anything, "we'll be right over". She looked at Jack, and he shrugged. Daniel looked worried, Teal'c rised his eyebrow and looked at O`Neill. Sam saw he was kind of worried too.
She never felt like this with the rest of SG-1. There was something in the air, she thought. Jack was too quiet. No sarcasm, no stupid jokes. Sam noticed she missed the jokes, but she'd rather die than admit it to anyone. Or so she thought.
"Well, erm...General is waiting" said Daniel just to break the silence. SG-1 left the gateroom.
"...and so we decided we should bring the guy here. Maybe Janet can help him." Daniel finished his account and looked the other members of SG-1. Sam gave him a smile, Teal'c was looking at general and Jack was staring infront of him. He lookes so old, thought Daniel, what is going on.
"So, Colonel, yes or no ?" asked Hammond. Daniel didn't hear what did General ask before the "yes or no", so he couldn't help Jack. Damn, he thought. He noticed Carter looked worried too. Did she possibly miss the question as he did ?
"Yes, sir", Jack said although he had no idea about what Hammond has said.
"So?" Hammond knew Jack didn't listen to him. "Are you going to tell us ?"
"'Bout what ?" Jack looked surprised. Sam decided he didn't even get the "yes or no"-question.
Hammond looked really worried. "Colonel, are you sure you are okay ?"
"Yep, as sure as I can be". This was really stupid. Really really stupid. Except it's Charlie's birthday today. That's all. So I'm okay. Better than ever. Trust me. There were tears in his eyes as he thought about Charlie. Nobody noticed it but Carter.
"Know what, you should go home and get some rest, Colonel. I'm gonna need Captain Carter and maybe Teal'c here with me, but doctor Jackson could take you home. Is it okay ?"
"Yeah, sure" said Daniel. I'd actually like to stay here and help you guys like I promised yesterday, but it's fine. Sure I can take you home, Jack. And it doesn't matter you look like you wanted to kill me, no, really. You're my friend, you know. Or I guess you don't know, but anyway. He was upset.
"However", Jack looked at Daniel. Thanks, Danny, you're a real pal. And I'd use some company now. Maybe.
"You're free to go now"
As Jack and Daniel left, Sam touched Daniel's shoulder. "Daniel..." Daniel looked at her. "What ?" Sam felt so god damn stupid. She wanted to tell Daniel to look after Jack, to find out what's going on with him. She could even go with Jack instead of Daniel, but she could never tell Daniel or Jack or General about it. Dammit, she must be looking like some stupid teenager in love. "No, nothing...never mind" Daniel was now worried about Sam. "Sam - are you allright ?" "It's a pretty popular question today", she tried to smile, "I'm fine."
Daniel was driving Jack's car. He was telling Jack about his life on Abydos. He didn't know why. But he wanted to talk. He needed to talk. He knew Jack wasn't listening, but it didn't matter. So he just kept talking.
"It was one of the first parties, when Skaara sud..."
"Daniel, would ya please stop !" Jack didn't want to think about Skaara now. Thinking about Charlie was hurting him enough, and Skaara would only make it worse.
"Sorry, Jack" Daniel said sheepishly. He only wanted to be... well, kind of a friend. Or something. To help Jack. Dammit.
"No, Dan - I'm the one who's sorry in here. Really."
Daniel decided that moment would be the best to find out what's wrong with Jack.
"Jack...is there something you'd like to tell me ?"
"Well...actually...no !"
"Jack !!!"
"Okay, Danny...just promise ya won't tell anyone else"
"Jack..."
"Well", Jack kept looking at his hands. "Well...see, it's Charlie's birthday today. This year it's much harder to take than usually." he saw Daniel was looking so understanding. Jack guessed he was thinking about Sha're. "Danny, I'm sorry to bother ya with all that stuff. I know ya have some problems with family too..."
"Let's not talk about it now, okay ? Please," said Daniel. Jack was right - Daniel was thinking about Sha're. And they weren't any happy memories."Let's do as General said - I'm gonna take you home and..." Jack didn't let him end the sentence.
"...and get back to the base," Jack has noticed Daniel's sad face when they left the base. He knew Daniel wanted to help the others.
"No, Jack, really..." Daniel was kind of happy that Jack said it. He knew it was wrong but he was happy.
"Danny, I know you want to be there helping Sam and others". Thinking of Sam made Jack wanting to say he'll come to the base too. Wanting to say he was allright and that he wanted to be with Sam. Damn, he needed her now. More than ever. He thought about how good she looked today when she laughed at Teal'c's joke. Teal'c was getting pretty funny at past few weeks. Anyway,Sam was laughing, then she looked at Jack and he had to smile too, even though it was his son's birthday and his son was dead. Dammit, there was something in Sam's smile. Something that made Jack think about her not only as his Second-in-command...Something...
"Jack, are you listening ?" A voice. Danny's voice. All the Sam-thoughts flew away. Thank ya Danny. Thank ya very much.
"Yeah, no...what ?" Daniel understood Jack wasn't listening.
"Actually nothing special, I just thought it would be right to tell you that you should go home. I mean we've been infront of your house for nearly ten minutes and as I saw you're not going to move..."
"I got the idea, Danny. Thanks."
Jack stepped out of the car and opened the door of his house. He didn't want to admit it but he was hoping Daniel or somebody (Jack thought about Sam once again) would come with him. He saw Daniel driving away. The guy was going to be in the base, to see Sam, to talk to Sam, to hear Sam talking and to hear Sam laughing. Dammit, and Jack was going to sit infront of the TV and drink beer. Yeah, like a paradise. Okay, enough. Really, buddy, stop it. She is a pretty nice girl, but now isn't the right time. Somewhere deep inside he felt that it wont ever be the right time. It was forbidden. She was his 2IC and if that's not enough she was more than ten years younger. Jack opened a beer and switched on the TV. As usually, there were some stupid soap operas, or maybe some sports, or something. Jack switched it off. He went to Charlie's ex-room. He didn't know why. He just felt like going. That's all. He took a box with Charlie's toys inside it. He took an airplane and looked at it. Jack went back in the time. He felt like Charlie was still alive and Sara lived with them too. He was so damn lucky then. Maybe even too lucky. Maybe things were too well to go on like it. Maybe that's why Charlie died. And Sara left. Jack didn't notice he was crying. He put the plane back into the box and put his hand on his mouth. Now he knew he was crying. He had lost his family. Damn, it hurt. But it didn't hurt that much last year or before it. This year it hurt like he was loosing them again. And maybe he was. Damn, I must sound like Danny. Danny. Jack thought about Daniel. He was Jack's best friend now, since Kawalsky has died. Jack would never believe his best friend would be a scientist. Or an alien. For Teal'c was a kind of a best friend too. And Jack would never ever believe he was in love with a scientist, which happened to be also his 2IC. Okay, Jack, you're tired now. Go and get some sleep and stop thinking crazy things. Ya know ya don't love Carter. She's just a friend. A very good friend. But he knew he was lying. She was more than a friend. And she knew it as well as he did. They just didn't want to admit it to each other. Or to anyone.
Jack went to the bedroom and sat down on the bed he shared with his wife in the past. He wasn't sure if he want Sara back in his life. As he remembered Sara his mind unexpectedly reminded him of Sam. Of her laughter in the morning. Jack imagined what would it be like if Carter was his wife instead of Sara. There was one thing Jack knew for sure - he would never let her go away like Sara did. And if she would go, he would get her back. In one way or another, sooner or later, but he knew he would.
There was a picture of Sam in Jack's mind as he finally fell asleep.
Next morning Sam, Daniel and Teal'c were back in the base. *here wasn't any missions for them that day, but they wanted to help with the new computer programs. They were working in silence, for all of them were worried about Jack. Sam didn't know what was going on with him, she just knew she was terribly worried. Teal'c understood that Jack had some personal problems he didn't want to talk about. That was enough for Teal'c to be worried about his friend. Daniel knew what was Jack's problem, but he had that strange feeling there was more than Charlie's birthday Jack was thinking about. And it was not a good thing. Suddenly Teal'c broke the silence saying,
"Daniel Jackson, was O'Neill okay when you took him home last night ?"
Daniel looked at him in great surprise. "Yeah...I mean, sure. Why ?"
Teal'c raised his right eyebrow to see Daniel better. "Because O'Neill seemed to be unhappy. Did you not notice it, Major Carter ?"
"Well, he was kind of strange, I guess." Sam said. "But you do know about his knees, don't you ?", she added. "I'm sure he's gonna be alright. Anyway, we'll see it soon." Teal'c nodded. But Sam saw he didn't believe her. She knew she was lying, to herself and to others, but it didn't matter.
"Let's just continue the computer things." Daniel said, because he felt like he's going to tell them about his yesterday's conversation with Jack, if they don't stop talking about him. So, the gateroom was quiet again.
Jack came to the base a bit later than he should. But it didn't matter, did it. He had some news to tell the guys. There sure would be some problems to tell Sam about it, but he didn't have to tell here right now. Or he had, but he wouldn't.
He walked into Hammond's office.
"General, sir, can I come in now ?", Jack asked.
Hammond looked at him. There was something wrong with this guy. "Sure," he answered, "sit down, Colonel."
"Sir, I'm leaving."
"You're what ???" George heard Jack's words, but he didn't want to believe the leader of his best team was leaving.
"I said I want to retire from SGC, sir," Jack repeated. He sound so calm, although he felt like he's going to explode.
"Colonel, are you sure ?" What the hell's goin'on with the guy, he thought.
"Yep, I'm sure. I'm pretty old, if ya know what I mean." Jack felt terrible. He didn't actually want to leave the SGC, but he felt so god damn old right now. He just wanted to be home alone for some time. It doesn't have to be alone, if Sam's coming. No travelling to other planets, no battles. Dammit, it would be boring. But he wouldn't have to meet Sam every day. It wasn't like he didn't want to meet her, but it hurt that he could do nothing else than look at her, talk to her and tell some damn stupid jokes. He wanted to touch her, to feel her body in his arms, to...
"Colonel, you have to think about it again. You can't just leave now." Hammond promised himself he wouldn't let Jack just go away.
"Okay. I'll tell you tomorrow morning. But I don't think I'm gonna change my thoughts about it."
"So tomorrow morning. I hope you'll change your mind. We need you in here, Colonel. By the way, have you already told your team ?"
"No, not yet. But I'm going to tell them." All of them, except Sam. He didn't want to hurt her. Or himself. He was walking out of the room.
"Think about it, Colonel", he heard Hammond's voice behind him.
Jack walked towards the gateroom hoping he'll find the other members of his team there. He was right - they were there, all of them. Daniel and Teal'c were infront of the stargate, Sam was writing something on one of computers. As he walked in, Sam raised her head. She smiled to him and said "Hi, sir". Jack smiled back to her, as he thought how damn adorable she was. Sam went down the stairs and Jack was still up there standing and smiling. Daniel looked at him, so did Teal'c, but Jack didn't notice it. He was tired, very tired, and he thought about Sam. About what would be her reaction when he'll say he's leaving.
Sam stood next to Teal'c and Daniel.
"There's something wrong with him", said Daniel. And this time he didn't think it was because of Charlie.
"There's definitely something wrong with him", Sam agreed.
Teal'c went upstairs and ask Jack, "O'Neill, are you okay ?"
The smile disappeared from Jack face. He looked at the big man standing next to him.
"Yeah, sure, Tealcky."
Teal'c raised his eyebrow once again. "I'm not Tealcky, O'Neill."
"I know. I was just kidding."
"I see." Teal'c said. But he was unsure if Jack was okay. So he decided to check it out. He showed Jack three fingers and asked. "How many fingers can you see now, O'Neill ?"
It was Jack's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Teal'c ?"
"Tell me the answer !"
"Three...Teal'c, what the hell did that mean?" Jack felt stupid. Why did Teal'c examine him like this ?
"Good, O'Neill. I was checking are you allright."
"Ow..." Jack noticed Daniel and Sam were standing infront of them. He saw they tried not to giggle. He guessed he and Teal'c did look pretty silly, but not that silly.
"Stop it, guys !" Jack said. Now they were really laughing. Dammit, how could he tell them he's leaving. Then Daniel stopped laughing.
"Jack, are you okay now ?" he asked.
"Yep, I guess. But, Danny, can we talk now ?"
"Sure. Where ?"
"Let's go outside, if it's okay with Teal'c and Sam." Sam. Dammit, he said Sam instead of Carter. Good work, mr. Fool 2000. He hoped Sam or Daniel didn't notice it. But they did. It wasn't a big surprise for Daniel, he'd seen for a long time there was something going on between Jack and Sam. But he didn't expect Jack would call Sam "Sam" when all of them can hear it. It wasn't anything strange, actually. Daniel called her "Sam", too. But Jack's case was different. Sam noticed it too. She liked it. And it didn't felt strange. It felt...kind of natural. Like he'd always called her like that. It was great. She was only wondering why didn't Jack want them hear the thing he was going to tell Daniel. They were team, weren't they.
"You can go, O'Neill and Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said.
"Sure." said Sam. She just wished he'll tell her what's going on before it's too late. For she saw that something was going on.
Sam watched as Jack walked out of the room.
"So, what's so important that Sam and Teal'c can not hear about it ?" Daniel asked as they went out of the gateroom.
"Wait a minute. Geez, Danny, I'm not gonna tell ya it here in corridor." They walked into the nearest room. "Okey, now listen."
"I am listening since we left the gateroom. I just wish I had something to listen to." Daniel looked at Jack.
"Danny, I guess ya should sit down now."
Daniel was getting nervous. "Dammit, Jack, just tell me what's going on, will ya !"
"Sure...Danny, I'm leaving the SGC."
"Are you kidding ? Well if you are, it's a bad joke."
"Nope, Danny, I'm not kiddin'. I'm leaving the SGC."
"Well, I guess I'm gonna need a seat." Daniel sat down very slowly, and as he was sitting safely in the chair, he shouted. "Jack, are you crazy ??? My god, I don't believe you. I don't. Jack dammit what the hell do ya think ya're doing ?! You can't leave us now. God damn why ??? WHY would you leave ? We're a team. You, Sam, Teal'c and I. We're nothing without you. We're nothing without each other. Jack dammit you won't leave us now. After all we had. Geeze, Jack."
"Danny boy, come down now."
Daniel was in panic. "Jack tell me you're kidding !"
Jack sat next to Daniel. "I'm not kidding", he said quietly. He didn't think Daniel would react like this. He was sure Daniel would be the one to understand him, to support him. "Daniel, c'mon, come down. It's okay. Come down."
Daniel tried to follow Jack's advice. He tried to relax and take it easy. It just didn't manage. He tried to talk anyway.
"Jack, I'm...I'm sorry." he said.
"It's okay, Danny. It's okay." Suddenly Jack felt that he wanted to hug Daniel. He'd never known how good friend Daniel was to him.
"No, Jack, really...I just...it just...you know..."
"I know, buddy. It's gonna work out. Trust me." Dammit it hurt. But it was too late to go back.
"Thanks Jack", Daniel felt much better now. "Is there anything I can do for you ?"
"Yeah, actually. Don't tell Carter about it." Jack needed to let her know by himself.
"Okay. By the way, is there anything between you and Sam ?" Daniel remembered how Jack called her "Sam". It made Jack smile. He said, "I see you're back to normal, Danny. And no, there isn't anything between us. How could there be, she's my 2IC ?"
"Have you told anyone about this ?"
"About what ?"
"That you're...leaving." It felt crazy to even think about SG-1 without Jack.
"Not exactly. Hammond knows, and I'm gonna tell Teal'c now. Nobody else."
"Well, guess I'm gonna get back to the gateroom and help the guys." Daniel wanted to get out of the room and spend some time alone or at least in silence. And he knew that Sam and Teal'c used to work quiet.
"Daniel, could ya tell our dear friend Teal'c to com'er. Tell him I'm waiting outside the gateroom."
"Sure. He'll be there in a minute." And Daniel left the room. Jack walked slowly towards the gateroom, as he saw Teal'c infront of the door.
"Teal'c", was all he said. The big alien looked at him.
"O'Neill. You wished to meet me."
"Yep. We're gonna just get out of the corridor and I'll tell ya a pretty important thing."
"Is it the same thing you told Daniel Jackson ?"
Jack stopped. Dammit, Danny, if ya told them. "Teal'c, did Danny already tell ya about it ?" he asked.
"No, Daniel Jackson just looked so upset as he came back, so I deduced it is because of what you told him, O'Neill."
They were in the same room as with Daniel. Jack took a deep breath and said, "Well, Teal'c buddy, I'm going to retire myself. I'm leaving the SGC."
Teal'c raised his eyebrow once again. Jack saw tears in his eyes, but Teal'c didn't cry. There were just tears, so Jack knew Teal'c didn't want him to leave.
"Why ?" Teal'c didn't understand why did his leader, his friend, have to leave their team. They had such a good team. They could beat all the goa'ulds.
Yeah, really, why ? Earlier Jack believed that it was because of Sara, Charlie and his age. But now...Jack realized that there were something more. Something that had short blond hair and was his 2IC.
"Teal'c, I'm pretty old, ya know. I think I start getting too old for this kind of stuff. Ya know, all the running and fighting."
"O'Neill, why are you lying to me ?"
"Teal'c..."
"I understand. I suppose I am not supposed to tell anyone about your departure, O'Neill." Good old Teal'c.
"That's right. I'm gonna tell her...erm, them later." Dammit, again. How comes I always think only 'bout Carter. It's drivin' me crazy.
"I will go and see if I can help Major Carter and Daniel Jackson."
Teal'c left. Jack was sitting alone in the emty room. He pressed his face into his hands. He felt like he's going to cry, as he thought about telling Sam about his departure.
Sam was leaving the gateroom as Teal'c came in. He looked at Daniel and nodded. They both knew that Jack was leaving, and they both wanted to do something to keep him in SG-1. But they also knew Sam didn't know a thing about it and they couldn't manage without her helping them.
Sam smiled at Teal'c. Daniel noticed it wasn't the same smile he saw when she was smiling to Jack, but it was a smile. Maybe Sam didn't feel as bad as they were thinking.
But Daniel was wrong. Sam felt so damn bad and meaningless. All the guys of their team knew something important and she did not. She felt like she'd have to know. So she smiled to Teal'c hoping he'll think she's okay.
"Hi Teal'c. What's up ?"
Teal'c looked at her, then at Daniel. As he turned to Sam once again, he said "There is nothing up, Major Carter."
"Okay, did Jack tell you anything that would be good for me to know about ?"
"Yes, but it's a secret. I guess O'Neill wants to tell you himself." Teal'c didn't understand why Daniel started to giggle nervously.
"Teal'c, I'd use your help in here", both Teal'c and Sam knew Daniel was lying, but Teal'c went to help him anyway. Sam left the room. She decided to go home. As she was walking down the corridor she saw Jack sitting on a chair in one room. She stopped for a moment, feeling like to go inside the room, ask Jack what's wrong and hug him. For she saw he was kind of crying. She didn't think of him like her boss now, no, it was more like he was a sick child and she was his mom. Sam looked at Jack for a couple of seconds. She really wished she could just walk in here and tell him everything's gonna be alright. But she could not. So she just walked away.
Jack saw Sam standing infront of the room. He hoped she would come in. But she didn't come. Dammit, guess I know how she feels now. 'Cept she doesn't know I'm leaving. Damn, I don't wanna lose her. But guess I'm gonna have to. He didn't cry anymore. Jack stood up and walked towards his car. He was going home or anywhere far far away from here.
Sam opened the door of her apartment. She liked her place. There were lots of light and plants.
"Hello, guys !" sometimes it felt kind of strange that she talked to her plants. Once she tried to stop the habit, but she failed. Actually it felt good now that she could talk to someone (or something) about what was bothering her. Of course, she had Janet and some other friends, and Daniel would always listen, but...well, the plants would never tell anyone about what Sam told them.
"Want some water, don't ya ?" she wasn't expecting an answer. It was enough that she could just talk to them. A couple of years ago Sam thought about taking a pet. But as she joined the SGC, the whole idea seemed impossible. So she just bought more and more plants. She watered the plants and took a seat on the sofa infront of the TV. She decided to watch something, just to keep herself from thinking of Jack. There was ice hockey on TV. Dammit, why did everything remind her of Jack. She knew he liked hockey. She wondered if he was watching the same match. She was so much in her own thoughts that she didn't hear the phone ringing. She turned off the TV and ran to the kitchen hoping she'll be fast enough to answer it. She wasn't. Sam heard the answering machine saying "Hi, this is Sam Carter. You can leave a message if you want."
Jack O'Neill heard it too. He waited for the signal and said,
"Erm, hi, Sam. It's Jack. O'Neill. I.. well, damn I don't wanna sound like Danny or something, but listen up. I need to talk to ya. Not in the phone. What if we meet...well, dammit Carter, guess I just gonna call ya later. Bye then." He heard some sort of a knock. Then there was Sam's voice.
"Sir ?"
"The one and only. Where the hell were ya ? Ya know it's hard to talk to an answering machine."
"Scuse me. I was watching an ice hockey match on TV and "
"Wow, Carter, I didn't know ya were one of us. Hockey fans, I mean."
"Yeah, sir", she smiled. "You said you wanted to meet me. Why, sir ?" she was hoping he was going to tell her the same thing he told Daniel and Teal'c. "Something important ?"
"Kinda."
"Why didn't you tell me at the base ?"
"I...I couldn't catch ya in there. Ya were helping Danny and I didn't want to disturb ya...You know."
She knew he was lying, but the idea of meeting Jack outside the SGC and all the army things made her feel good.
"Sure", she said. "When and where should we meet ?"
"Do ya know the park near your place ?" he heard as she said something like "mhmm". "Well what do ya think if we meet there in half an hour...it'd be 1930."
"Yes, sir."
"Make sure ya'll be there in time !"
"Sir, you know I'm almost never late." It was Jack's turn to say "mhmm". Sam wanted to joke a bit. "Kinda date, huh ?" she said. Jack hoped it was true. Well, maybe someday...
"Kinda."
"Okay, see ya later"
"By, Sam." She liked it when he called her Sam.
Sam was wondering what to wear. She smiled at herself, for it really felt like she was going out on a date. A date with Jack ? Well, that would be something...Sam looked for jeans at first. But it was very warm outside. She'd look like a fool. So she decided to pick up a dress. It was an ordinary blue dress with yellow flowers on it, she hoped Jack'd like it. Damn, Sam, stop it. You're just going to meet a member of your team, so what's goin'on now ? She brushed her hair, put some make up on her face and went to meet Jack.
Jack was already waiting as Sam came. She looked at him. He was wearing old jeans and a shirt. Sam was disappoinded. She didn't know why, but she was probably expecting something more than that. Jack walked towards Sam as soon as he noticed her. Dammit, Sam, you're cute. How the hell am I supposed to keep my hands off you ?
"Hi Carter !"
"Hi, sir !", she smiled.
"You look disappoinded. Were ya expectin'red roses or somethin'?"
Sam found her shoes very interesting. "No, sir", she said. She didn't notice Jack's hands were behind his back.
"Well what a pity, guess I'll have to throw this one away." He showed her what was in his hands. A beautiful red rose. Sam lost her breath for a moment. She looked at Jack in damn great surprise. "Dammit, Jack...sir !" was all she could say. Was that the same guy she was working with almost every day ? Appearantly it was, because the next thing Sam heard was "Earth to Major Carter, can you hear us ?"
Sam did nothing else but smiled. At the same moment Jack knew he loved her.
"Carter, I brought ya a rose, would ya like to take it, perhaps ?"
"Yeah, thanks, sir."
"Would ya mind to stop calling me "sir", Carter ? I mean we're not in the army at the moment." It reminded Jack of what was the real reason he came here. But he didn't want to tell her so soon. He wanted to talk to her and enjoy she was here with him, as long as possible.
"Okay, sir...Jack", she laughed. "But only if you wont call me Carter."
"Sure, Major."
"Jack, you know what I mean !"
Sure he did. "Sure, Samantha "
"Dammit Jack, you said there was something important you wanted to tell me, right ?"
"Yeah, listen, Sam. Can ya see the bench down there ? What if go and sit there ?"
Sam looked at it. "Sure, why not," she said. She had a feeling the thing Jack was going to tell her was something sad. At least sadness was what she saw in Daniel's eyes when he came to gateroom that morning.
They walked towards the bench. Jack wished he could take Sam's hand or put his hand around her shoulders. But he could not. It would be insane. As they reached the bench they saw a couple walking and wanting to sit on it too. Jack took Sam's hand and they ran a bit. Sam didn't know why he did it. There were a lot of other benches in the park. But her hand felt so damn good in Jack's hand...Jack sat on the bench pulling Sam with him. She almost fell over, but he caught her. There she was in his arms as the couple arrived.
"Sorry buddy, we came first" Jack said and grinned.
"However", said the man. "Let's go, Marie-baby !"
"Of course. I mean it's okay with me that we've been sitting here every evening except today. Let's just leave, so the beautiful lovers can spend some time alone, right ?" Sam tried to get out of Jack's arms but he just pulled her closer. He didn't want to let her go. Ever.
"Yes, Marie. Let's find some other place." A guy out of humour, thought Jack.
"Try to not bite her face off." Marie said as they walked away.
"Not your business, Marie-baby" Jack answered. He looked at Sam and noticed she was looking at him too. They couldn't prevent what happened next. Jack pulled Sam closer and closer to his chest and kissed her. Sam closed her eyes. She knew it was wrong, so damn terribly wrong, but she didn't want him to stop.
"Jack..." she whispered. He pushed her away so he could look in her eyes.
"Jack...it's so wrong," she continued. "You know there can be nothing between us. Jack, I'm your Second-in-Command. Dammit, Jack, I love you !" What did I just say ??? Oh god. Oh my god. She looked at Jack waiting for his reaction.
Jack was pretty shocked too. He knew he loved Sam. But he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to talk about it now.
"Sam...I need to tell you something. If ya still remember that's why we came here."
"Sorry, sir...Jack." Sam felt herself so stupid. Why did she have to tell him ? Dammit.
"No Sam, it's okay. Really. But I don't know is it smart to talk about things like that now before you've heard what I have to say."
Sam didn't say a thing. She just wanted to keep her big mouth shut. Jack waited for some kind of an answer. As he didn't get one, he continued.
"Sam...this might be not the best time to tell ya, but...Sam, I'm leaving the SGC."
Sam had to say something. She didn't want to believe, although she knew what he said was true. Now she understood why did Daniel and Teal'c look so upset.
"What ??? Are you kidding, Jack ? It's not funny if you are."
"Don't wanna disappoint ya, but you sound just like Danny." Jack hoped he was kidding. He didn't know what to do. Dammit, he was hurting the woman he loved more than anything in the whole world. "No, Sam, I'm not kidding." He bent to kiss or at least hug her, but she turned away. She stood up and so did Jack. Sam was shocked. Jack saw tears in her eyes. He wanted to hold her in his arms and console her. She wished he'd do it. But all she saw was how Jack turned and walked away.
Jack didn't want to leave Sam. Not here, not now. Not ever, he thought. But he had to. He felt something in his throat and tears in his eyes. He didn't want Sam to see he was crying.
Jack ? Jack ! Come back ! Sam wanted to run after him, to get him back. Why the hell didn't she ? She was just standing there infront of the bench. Still holding the rose Jack gave her and watching him walking towards his car.
If Jack would look back, he would see Sam was crying. Perhaps if he'd see it he would go back and hug her, tell her things are gonna work out. Tell her that the whole story about him leaving them was just a bad dream. Tell her he loves her too.
But he didn't look back.
Sam was finally back home. She didn't say hello to her plants, she didn't actually see anything. Her eyes were full of tears. All she could think about was Jack. How he kissed her in the park. What a great feeling she had as he held her in his arms. Maybe it wasn't that bad that he's leaving. Sam could still meet him. And their relationship wouldn't be forbidden. Relationship ? she grinned. He just kissed me once, it doesn't mean any damn thing. She knew it wasn't true. The kiss meant a lot to both of them. She could never forget how it felt to have his lips on her own. He was so gentle and lovely. Even if they could not be together, she had to make him stay in SGC. Sam couldn't imagine SG-1 without Jack. She'd probably retire herself too, if there'd be no Jack in SGC. She had to do something. Anything. So she went to call Daniel.
She heard three or four signals until Daniel answered the phone.
"It's Daniel Jackson", Sam heard from his voice he was tired. She looked at her watch. Dammit, it was three a.m.
"Erm, Daniel...it's Sam Carter."
"Yeah, hi Sam. Do ya know what time it is ?" Did Jack finally tell her ? Daniel wasn't sleepy anymore.
"Yep, Dan, sorry. I didn't want to wake you up, I just..."
"I guess you weren't sleeping, were you ?" Daniel sound worried. Damn, he cared about his friends. And Sam, Jack and Teal'c were his best friends.
Sam grinned. "No, I didn't notice it was that late", she said. She sighed and Daniel heard it.
"He told you, right, Sam ?" Daniel asked. Well at least she wasn't in panic. He was just wondering why didn't Jack call him and ask for advice. Maybe he thought Daniel was angry. In some kind he was angry, but not that much he wouldn't help his friend.
Sam sighed once again. She felt near crying. "Yeah", was all she said. In fact it was a whisper, but Daniel heard it.
"Want to talk about it ?" he asked.
"Kinda, but not like this. Not on the phone. Can we meet ? I mean we have to do something."
"That's my girl", Daniel laughed. "What if we meet here at my place. I could make some coffee and sandwiches, for I think you might be hungry."
"Daniel..." she was glad she had friends like him.
"Know what, Teal'c is here too."
"What ? Why ?"
"Well, see, we knew Jack was going to tell you about...it." Sam noticed he didn't want to believe in it either. "So we decided to stay at my place and wait for your call."
"Okay, Daniel, I'm coming. And...thanks !"
"Bye, we're waiting."
Sam thought about how good friends they all were. Jack could not just break it up. She promised herself she'll take care of it. She loved Jack, that was one very damn good reason.
Sam was still wearing the same dress as when she was meating Jack. Her make up had spread. She went to change her closes, as she walked out from the bedroom she was wearing jeans and an orange shirt. She took a denim jacket and went to the car. She almost fell asleep as she drived to Daniel's. She was thinking of Jack to keep herself awake. She thought about all the time she had known him. Dammit, why didn't she understand she loved him earlier. Perhaps it wouldn't help anyone, but it wouldn't have been such a surprise as it was when she said she loves him today.
She parked her car and went up the stairs to Daniel's apartment. She liked it at his place. There was a lot of nice stuff in there, a lot of souvenirs from other planets too. Sam ringed the doorbell. Teal'c opened the door. He smiled to her.
"Greetings, Major Carter", he said.
"Hi Teal'c", she smiled. She hugged him. Teal'c had to raise his eyebrow. He never saw Samantha Carter like this.
"Sam ! So good to see you !" Daniel came and Sam hugged him too. "Sam ? Are you okay ?" Daniel didn't mind the hugging, but it wasn't Sam's style.
"Yeah, I just think I need some support now", she said. She was really glad she didn't have to be alone anymore.
"You can count on us, you know that "
"That's why I called ya, Daniel."
"Is it the only reason ?"
She grinned. "Guess !"
"Sam, we made some sandwiches, so what if we all go and eat, what do you think ?" said Daniel as he walked into the kitchen.
She didn't answer. Teal'c managed to catch her just before she fell down in unconsciousness.
"Daniel Jackson, come here !"
Daniel came as fast as he could. "Dammit Teal'c, what's goin'on ? Check is she still breathin'! I'm gonna call the ambulance."
Teal'c took care of Sam as Daniel was calling.
"Teal'c, they'll be right over. Put that headscarf on !"
"She's going to be okay, mr. Jackson. She just needs some rest", the doctor said. Daniel nodded. He looked at Sam. She was so pale. "By the way, mr. Jackson, did she have any stresses last time ?"
Daniel wanted to laugh. Stresses ? "Yes, doctor. One...erm, one friend of ours is leaving...erm, doctor, it's kind of a personal."
"I see", said the doctor. "Well, let's let her rest for a couple of hours. We'll let you know as she wakes up."
"Thank you. We'll wait outside." Daniel opened the door. Dammit, it all happened so fast. Too fast. They were going to eat something, and the next minute Teal'c was holding the unconscious Sam and Daniel had to call the ambulance.
"You can have some coffee, if you want."
"Yes, thanks, it would be great."
Daniel walked out of the room and sat next to Teal'c. The jaffa looked at him and asked. "Don't you think we should call O'Neill, Daniel Jackson ?"
"Yeah, I guess. We must tell him what's goin'on."
"Here's your coffee", said the nurse.
"Thank you", said Teal'c. Daniel nodded. He didn't say anything, because he was thinking about calling Jack. The nurse walked away. "Excuse me", Daniel ran after her. "Could you tell me where's the nearest phone ?"
"Sure. Right...there", she showed him where to go.
"Teal'c, I'll go and call Jack. You wait here."
"Alright, Daniel Jackson."
Jack was sitting infront of TV drinking beer. Dammit, I'm stupid. To leave her alone in there. Dammit. What the hell might she think 'bout me now. Sam didn't think anything. She was sleeping, almost in coma. But the worst was already over. She was going to be alright.
Jack was opening the fridge to take another beer as he heard the phone ringing. He went to answer it.
"It's Jack O'Neill."
"Jack ?" he heard Daniel's voice.
"Danny ! Didn't think ya'd call me."
"Who else ? Sam would, but she isn't feeling that good."
Isn't feeling that good ? What the hell ? Now Jack was really worried.
"What do you mean isn't feeling that good ?" he asked. Daniel sighed.
"Well, Jack, Sam is in hospital."
"What ??? Why ?"
"She, she fell over at my place and..."
"Danny, what was she doin'at your place ?"
"Nothing. The three of us, we were going to eat a bit and that kind of stuff. You see Sam was really upset yesterday."
I bet she was, thought Jack. "Okay, Daniel, I'll be right there. Which hospital ?"
Fifteen minutes later Jack was already parking his car infront of the hospital. Daniel was waiting outside to show Jack where to go. They walked towards Sam's room in silence. None of them didn't know what to say.
"O'Neill." They heard Teal'c saying as they reached Sam's room.
"Hi Teal'c. How is she ? Is she sleepin'?" Jack wanted to see Sam.
"Yes, but..." Teal'c didn't finish the sentence for he saw Jack already opening the door to Sam's room.
"I need to see her", Jack said to Daniel who tried to prevent him. They walked into the room. It was dark in there, but Jack saw Sam lying in a bed.
"Oh god", he whispered. It hurt to see her so weak, so pale. He remembered how full of life she was in the afternoon as they met. "Teal'c, Daniel, would ya please leave me alone with her ?"
Teal'c looked at Daniel. He nodded. "Yeah, Jack. We'll be right there in the corridor if you need us."
As they opened the door once again, there was a little ray of light coming from the corridor. It was enough for Jack to see how lovely Sam was although she looked more dead than alive. Jack took a chair and sat next to her bed. He reached to take her hand, and Daniel closed the door. It was dark again.
There he was, holding her hand in his own. He started to talk to her. Or to himself, nobody knew that.
"Well Sam", he said. His voice was more like a whisper. "You're gonna be alright, aren't you ? You know...when Danny called me and said ya were in hospital, I thought for a moment that you've done something stupid because of what you heard today. I was so damn terribly worried...But then I remembered you're our own extra-smart doctorcaptainmajorcarter, so I knew you'd never do anything stupid. You're not like the others. You're special, Sam. And I need to tell ya something. You remember when we kissed today, Sam, don't ya. Well I thought about it. I know it was wrong. The whole thing. I should have told all of you together about that I was leaving. The date thing was so damn wrong, I know. But it was wonderful. Sam, I know you can't hear me now, but I need to tell you. So listen up. There's nothing else you can do anyway. So..." he reached over to stroke her cheek. It was so cold. Jack brushed her hair off her face. Damn he loved her. And he had to tell her about it. "So...Sam, remember as you said there can be nothing between us, cause you're my 2IC ? I do remember. I thought 'bout it a lot. So...Sam, I don't care 'bout it. All I care about is that I love you. More than anything in all world. Sam, you don't know how much I love you. You're my everything, I..." he felt her hand moving inside his own. "Sam ?! Sam ?..." Nothing. Absolutely nothing. "I'm such an ass", he continued. "Anyway, Sam, now I finally understood what you mean to me. All of you. Damn, we're a team. So...I thought about it and I decided I'm not leaving the SGC. But, only if you'll wake up and..."
"Jack !!! "
"Sam ?..."
She smiled. She sat up and kissed him.
"Wow, Carter !" he said before he hugged her and kissed her back. Jack moved to Sam's bed from his chair. His hands were everywhere on her body. He wanted to feel her. He had almost lost her, so he didn't want to let her go. He felt Sam's cold hands on his neck, she was a good kisser. Sam pulled him to lie next to her.
They were still kissing as Daniel opened the door.
"Oops...sorry !" Dammit, he thought. Why do I always come in at the wrong time ?
Sam noticed Daniel as she raised her head so that Jack could kiss her neck. "Erm, Jack..."
"What is it ?"
"It's...Daniel" she said as she started to laugh. It had been so hard time for her, and she was damn happy to be in the arms of the man she loved. She couldn't stop laughing. "Sorry, guys, I'm just...I'm just so god damn lucky", she said.
Jack looked at Daniel. He was smiling too.
"I just heard Sam's voice, so I came in...I didn't know you were..." Daniel said sheepishly.
"It's okay, Dan", said Jack. "It really was time for us to stop. I guess you'll be happy to hear I'm not leaving."
"You're not..." Daniel hugged Jack. Teal'c came in just to hear Jack's words.
"I am happy to hear it, O'Neill" he really was happy. He couldn't imagine SG-1 without Jack.
Jack cleaned his throat. "Well, listen up everyone. Why don't we have a wellcome-back-party at my place, huh ?"
"A great idea", Daniel smiled. "Should we go right now ? I can ge some food and that kind of stuff, and..."
"I don't think it's a good idea, Daniel Jackson", said Teal'c. "At first, we are not sure is Major Carter okay. And I think if she can go home, she will want to spend some time alone with O'Neill."
"Right..." Daniel agreed. "Let's call the doctor."
Sam took Jack's hand as Daniel and Teal'c went to get the doctor. "Jack...about what you said..."
"What did I say ?"
"Well, you said a lot of things. But see, I wasn't asleep all of the time..." she said.
"You what ?" Damn, how much did she hear ? It wasn't like he didn't want her to know about it, but...
"I was awake when you said you..." she took a deep breath "You love me" she whispered the last words.
"Sam, I wished I had told you in the park, but I just couldn't. "
"I know, but it doesn't matter, really." She looked in his eyes and saw tears. She knew she was starting to cry too. It was liek a dream. She smiled and Jack kissed her. They heard how the door opened and the doctor came in.
"Well, Samantha," the doctor said. "Could you ask your husband to leave us for I have to check if you're okay."
Sam smiled at Jack. The doctor thought he was her husband.
"I'll wait outside", Jack said and left.
"You can go home now, but let your own doctor check you next week, okay ?"
"Sure", Sam smiled. She turned to Jack, Daniel and Teal'c. "I can go home now." She said.
"So we can have the party !" Daniel said.
"Daniel Jackson, did you forget what I told you ?" asked Teal'c.
"Oops.."
"What if I take Sam home now, and we can have the party tonight." Jack suggested. It was only two p.m, so they would have time enough to talk. And do something else too.
"Great idea", Daniel smiled. "What if we come about seven p.m ? At your place, Jack, right ?"
"Yeah." He hugged Sam. "Let's go, Major."
She smiled. "Thanks, guys. For everything."
Jack took Sam's hand as they walked towards his car. Daniel saw how Jack whispered something in her ear. It made her laugh and kiss him. Daniel thought of Sha're for a second. Of how lucky they were together. He heard Teal'c's voice.
"Shall we go, Daniel Jackson ?"
"Yeah, sure." But he didn't go until he was sure Jack and Sam safely left the hospital.
The end.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Anna.
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