April Fool
April Fool
by Wee-Gayle
Summary: Janet, Daniel and Sam play an April Fools joke on Jack, problem is, Sam has no idea she's doing it!
Category: Romance
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 06/08/03
Title: April Fool
Author: Wee-Gayle
Email: gaylebarrie@hotmail.com
Rating: PG I think
Summary: Sam, Janet and Daniel play a little April fool's joke on Jack, without Sam realising. Spoilers: None
Archive: Heliopolis
Disclaimer: I really wish I owned these characters but I'm afraid I don't. I was just playing around with them for a while. I didn't earn anything from this, except maybe more feedback (hint hint). Ahem...anyway. The characters are MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions not mine. I'm not going to steal them or clone them...well, maybe Jack, mmmmm a Jack clone...Endless happiness...
Author's Notes: At the request for a sequel to "Friday the 13th" I thought, "What the heck? I have no other life" lol and so produced this. I've been working on this fic for ages because of exams and severe writer's block. I stole the whole idea from a TV programme I saw years ago. Thanks to Becca for beta-ing this one :) Look Becca, I finally got it done!
An awful, mournful sound roused Sam from sleep, she pulled herself out of bed and looked out the window. She sighed in exasperation, Mrs Simon's dog Ben stood directly outside her window howling like there was no tomorrow. She pulled on some clothes and started downstairs. Stupid dog! And she still had another six days of this to come. Only this morning Mrs Simon had dropped her in it, telling her that there was no one to watch the dog while she and her husband were away. She pulled opened the door for him and looked out. The shadows danced in the moonlight, last night in March but it still seemed like mid January. The wind blew and she shivered, closing the door over.
"Ok Ben, lets make a nice bed for you" she turned to where the dog had been standing to find him gone. "Ben, hey where'd you go?" she hunted everywhere until she came to her bedroom to find the dog stretched out across the foot of the bed. "Oh no, no way are you sleeping in my room, go on, out you go!"
The huge, fat Labrador simply rolled over and yawned. Sam sighed, she couldn't be bothered to try and move him.
"Ok fine, you can sleep here for one night but that's it" she grumbled, climbing back into bed and soon dropped off into a deep sleep.
"Morning Sam" Janet looked up as Sam walked into her office
"Morning Janet"
"Uh oh, what's up with you?" Janet sensed the irritation in her friend's voice
"Nothing, just my next door neighbour's dog, I'm looking after him for a week while his owners are on holiday, he's driving me crazy." She sighed and slumped against the door, Janet walked over to the coffee pot and switched it on
"Here, have a coffee, sit down and tell me about it, I have nothing better to do since no teams are due back anytime soon."
Jack trailed along towards the infirmary; he hated physicals, except when Carter was there of course. It was kinda fun when they would both look up at the same time and give each other a knowing look, then she would smile that smile that made his heart beat both fast and slow at the same time. "Damn" he thought to himself, "Can't I go one minute without thinking of her?" He stopped when he heard her voice coming from inside Janet's office:
"I mean, he's only been living in my house for one night and he's already insisting he sleeps in my bed!"
Jack's eyes nearly popped out of his head and he near enough had heart failure, "What??" he whispered
Janet looked up from her coffee when she heard a small gasp coming from outside to see a familiar silhouette outside her door. She quickly caught on to what he was thinking and grinned evilly.
"Erm...Janet what're you staring at?" Sam was staring at her oddly and started to look behind her.
"Nothing, nothing" Janet jumped up and diverted her friend's attention back to her. "So, you were saying about the new man in your life?"
Sam laughed "Nothing, just last night I was just gonna make a bed for him on the sofa but he insisted on sleeping in my bed, I couldn't move him so I just let him"
Jack O'Neill couldn't believe his ears. Sam has a boyfriend? Since when? Why didn't he know about it? He decided to make his presence known and strode into the office.
"Good morning Colonel, how are you this morning" Janet smiled sweetly at him
"Yeah...morning, I'm just...peachy thanks"
"Morning sir"
"Morning Major"
"Is there something I can help you with Colonel?" Janet was still sweetly smiling at him
"Yeah it's my phys...I mean, no, there's absolutely nothing you can help me with, nothing at all. I came to see...what Carter was up to"
"Well I'm just sitting here sir, did you need me for anything?"
"No, just wondering" a long silence passed "Ok I'll just be going now" he started towards the door, tripping over the bin as he did so "Fine, I'm fine" and he legged it out of the room.
Janet grinned to herself; she knew very well what the Colonel was thinking. She decided to play on it and make him believe that Ben was Sam's boyfriend. That would really get up the Colonel's nose. Then suddenly she twigged; it was his physical today, a perfect time to tell him about Sam's new "relationship". Oh today was just getting better and better. When Sam left some time later Janet picked up the phone
"Hello Daniel? You have got to hear this..."
"So...Janet how's Sam?" Jack asked casually
Janet's head snapped up "Why don't you ask her yourself?" She grinned; he did think that the dog was a man
"I dunno, just haven't had a chance to ask her"
"Well, she was a bit stressed out this morning because of Ben"
"Ben? Who's Ben?"
Janet had to battle with herself to stop herself from grinning "Oh, she hasn't told you about Ben yet? I suppose she will when she's ready" she was trying desperately hard not to laugh, the Colonel's face was a picture, his eyes were bigger than dinner plates and his mouth was hanging so wide open she was sure his tongue was going to roll out. "Colonel are you alright?"
"Yeah...yeah I'm just fine...really"
"Oh that's ok then, just you were looking a bit pale there..."
"Yeah...I'm fine Janet, fine, stop asking me if I'm Ok, I told you I'm fine!"
Janet had to excuse herself to go into her office, once there she burst into laughter. He was so pissed; jealousy had bitten him well and truly. She couldn't tell Sam about this as she knew Sam would be desperate to put things right, and Janet felt like Sam needed a push in the right direction if she and Jack were ever going get together.
The next day Janet made sure Jack would come to her office at exactly 0930, that way she could strike up an "interesting" conversation with Sam. Every so often she glanced at her watch:
"Janet, are you alright? You keep looking at your watch, you expecting someone?" Sam's voice shook her from her thoughts.
"What? Oh, no, no just like to know the time" Janet ignored her friend's disbelieving look and looked towards the door. Bingo! There he was right on time, she turned back to Sam:
"So, how was Ben last night?"
"Better, except I don't think he realises his own strength. I mean, last night I was barely in the door and he jumped on top of me then started licking me all over"
Just then they heard a loud thud coming from outside the door. The both rushed out and, there, lying sprawled out on the infirmary floor, was Colonel Jack O'Neill obviously unconscious. Janet took one look at him and burst into peals of laughter, clutching her sides and clinging onto the table for support.
Sam knelt down next to her CO, "Janet what's so funny? He could have hit his head on something" she started checking the back of his head and his neck. After she found nothing she started looking around the infirmary "I wonder how he passed out, maybe he could have slipped on something or tripped or...or"
"Sam, calm down he maybe just had a dizzy spell or just a sudden shock" Janet suppressed a laugh and helped her friend carry the unconscious Colonel to a bed "He'll be fine when he wakes up. Come on, let's go get a decent cup of coffee"
Jack came round slowly, groaning and turning onto his right side to see a familiar figure sitting in a chair next to his bed:
"Danny, hey!" he waved from the bed, Daniel grinned
"Hey Jack, how you feeling? It's usually me that's hospitalised, what happened?"
"I...took a dizzy spell" Jack prayed that Daniel would pry no further
"Yeah sure Jack, a dizzy spell" Daniel smiled at his friend's attempted lie, Janet had already filled him in on why the colonel had been found unconscious in a heap outside her office. "Janet says you can go once she's checked you over"
"Aw come on Danny I just had a dizzy spell, not a stroke!"
"Not up to me Jack, the General's going to postpone the mission till you're better, which means a couple days downtime, you'll be going up to your cabin I suppose..."
"No, I er...can't, there's workers up there all week renewing the...door" that was the best lie Jack could think of at the moment. The truth was he had to stay on base to keep an eye on Sam and this Ben character.
"The door?"
"That's what I said the...door, do you know what Sam's up to then? Staying on base as usual?"
"Nope, as far as I can tell she's going home"
"Home?" Jack was getting worried; was she going to go home for this guy? "But she never goes home, she always stays on base"
Daniel hid a grin "Well, that's where she said she was going, she gave a reason though...Think his name was Ben...Ben! That's it! She was going home to Ben!"
Jack swallowed "Daniel, I've been hearing about this Ben since yesterday. Who is Ben?"
"Well Colonel looks like you're good to go" Janet breezed into the room holding up a clipboard "But I want you to take some prescribed pills, you can come pick them up in half an hour"
"Oh I'll just go get my stuff together, no point staying on base is there?" He hopped from the bed and searched for Daniel, wanting the answer to his question, but he was nowhere to be seen. He sighed sadly and left the room, hands buried deep in his pockets. Janet watched him go, she felt almost sorry for him, but her and Daniel's plan was going perfectly. By what Sam had told her earlier while the colonel was out was that things weren't going well with Ben. If he could just hear that he would instantly become the "knight in shining armour" and go "rescue" her. She chuckled, this plan was foolproof.
Half an hour later Jack trailed back to the infirmary to collect his pills, pills for a condition he didn't have. He wondered if there were any pills to mend a broken heart. He scolded himself, he told himself he didn't have a broken heart and that a relationship wasn't allowed with Sam anyway, but why then did he feel so jealous? He stopped outside Janet's door. Again Sam was inside, he didn't want to hear anything else about this "amazing" Ben so he turned to walk away when he heard her voice again:
"I don't know what to do Janet, I feel like he'll kill me at any second"
He whirled round. His Sam? Feeling threatened? He pressed his ear up to the door
"If I don't get his dinner quick enough he growls and snarls and shows his teeth, I think one of these days he's going to bite me"
Rage built up inside Jack, "Nobody threatens Sam, especially not some...Boyfriend" he muttered to himself, he marched back down the corridor, forgetting all about his pills.
Janet watched the figure disappear from the window, she resisted the temptation to punch the air instead opting for a huge grin.
"What're you smiling at?" Sam asked her
"Just feel in a good mod that's all, listen, just go home and put up with Ben for another few days, the Simons will be back on Friday, you'll be fine"
"Yeah, I've had far worse threats than a huge, black beast and not getting him his dinner quick enough, but I won't let him come near me any more, I mean it's disgusting, the way he sits in the middle of the living room and licks his..."
"Ok, Ok enough information" Janet cut her friend off mid-sentence laughing, Sam joined in with the laughter. Janet was pleased the colonel hadn't hung around to hear that. That would've meant another night spent in the infirmary for poor Jack. "Come on" she said between laughs "I'll give you a lift home then help you feed the "disgusting beast""
Jack couldn't believe what he was doing, standing on Sam's front porch with a pizza in one hand and a video in the other. He could chicken out now, run away, but he knew he couldn't. "Ok, stay cool O'Neill" he coached himself "You're just a friend of Sam's from the military, you do this all the time, you're just here because you thought she would like some company, oh wait, she already has company...Ok you're here because...ah stuff it" He started to walk back down the stairs but was stopped by the opening of the door
"Sir?" a familiar voice asked
"Carter, hey! I uh...Brought food, and a video" he held the two articles up
"Great, come in!" she held the door wider to let him in, but he stayed where he was
"Won't Ben mind?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm but also with a slight bit of sadness
Sam looked at him oddly then laughed nervously "Who told you about Ben?"
"Nobody did, I just overheard a conversation" he smiled sheepishly but then his expression turned serious "Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood"
"Oh, well, I didn't want you to think I was stupid, that I couldn't handle it on my own, you wanna meet him?"
He nodded "Why not" this was it. He would finally come face to face with Ben "the boyfriend"
Sam turned from the door and called "Ben, here boy"
Jack raised his eyebrows, here boy? Is that a normal thing to say to a boyfriend? He sure as hell had never had that said to him while he was dating. "Must be a younger generation thing" he thought to himself. He looked past Sam into the house and nearly passed out at what he saw, a massive, black dog with its tongue hanging out and its tail wagging furiously. "Ok" he thought "you must have gone way off the mark somewhere O'Neill"
"Sir, this is Ben, my neighbour's dog, I'm looking after him for a few days while they're on holiday, that's why I cant stay on base" she smiled at him "Sir, are you alright, you've gone a bit pale?"
Jack's face had frozen over, then broke out into a huge grin, so she didn't have a boyfriend after all "Fine Carter, just fine. Hey, this pizza's getting cold and I brought a comedy, cause I know how much you like those" he bent down to ruffle Ben's fur "Hey Ben, so good to finally meet you!" He then grabbed his collar and followed his Major, his Sam into the house.
Just around the corner Janet punched the air and turned to hug Daniel "Step one complete" she said and they both grinned. Next step, pester General Hammond about getting that regulation lifted. Life was going to get a lot more interesting, and neither of them could wait!
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