How Could I?
How Could I?
by Tropical & Kami
Title: How Could I?
Author: Tropical & Kami
Email: charlizecarter77@hotmail.com and kamikaze_2001_es@yahoo.es
Category: Series, Romance, Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Spoilers: None that I can think of
Season: 5
Series: Max - Series
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: angst
Status: Completed
Summary: Sam's past is starting to catch up with her, resulting her to keep her five year old son.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
Author's notes: Feedbacks is *always* very much appreciated ;) Thank You and we hope you enjoy it!
How could I?
It's been two days since she had received a phone call from her cousin Michelle. Sam had kept a very important and big secret from her friends and team mates, hoping they would never know the real truth. Only Hammond and her father knew about it. But now that Michelle told her some news and Sam had to tell her friends the real truth. Sam's career in the Air Force would probably be over so she couldn't work at the SGC anymore. She wasn't sure.
Sam finally had the courage to walk to Hammond's office to tell him.
"come in" came a reply and so she entered.
"sir, I need to talk to you"
Hammond nod and pointed a seat in front of his desk. Sam closed the door and sat down on the offered chair.
"what is the problem, major?"
Sam closed her eyes and sighed.
"sir, I received a phone call a couple of days ago from my cousin Michelle..."
Hammond tensed, he remembered she and her father had told him about her son. The father of the child, Alex, died while she was four months pregnant. Sam didn't want her child to have a life without a father so she talked to her cousin and her husband if they wanted to raise him. Of course, Sam was always at their house and her son, Maxime, knew she was his mother.
"Michelle just learned she was pregnant... she asked me if I could... bring Max back with me home"
Hammond sighed, he knew she would have difficulties to handle this right now. She never raised her son by herself and a single mother in the Air Force isn't common. He couldn't afford loosing her from the SGC *and* SG-1.
"I understand, so you have no choice but to take him back with you, am I right?"
Sam nod slowly and sadly, not trusting herself with words right now.
"can you handle working with the stargate program while raising your child?"
"I could try, sir, just take some precaution.. I really don't want to leave, sir, I've worked so hard to get where I am right now"
Sam was almost pleading him to get on her side and that broke his heart. He knew she had to get through hell itself for the Air Force and to get at the SGC.
"I understand, major, I'll see what I can do with my superiors and inform you of their decision later on... when are you going to pick up Max?"
"tomorrow morning before 10:00"
"have you talked about this to your team? they still don't know about your son's existence"
Sam shook her head and look up at him "I was hoping you could brake the news for me, sir. I'll be gone before they could find out and I'll deal with them once I have Max with me"
Hammond went to object but Sam pleaded him with her eyes "please, sir"
"very well, I will inform Jacob about this too, he has a right to know about his grand-son too" Sam forced a smile and nod in understanding.
"very well, I will do what you say. Once you have Max back, I would like to see him also" he smiled widely. Max was a good boy and he was liked by everybody. Sam smiled and nod "ok, sir. I'll bring him here" he nod and warned her about the security risk if he gets too close to the stargate. She nod and left his office.
Several minutes later SG-1 minus Sam was called to Hammond's office. Everyone arrived, slightly worried about this private meeting and more concerned when Sam wasn't there.
"Uh, sir, where's Carter?" Jack asked him, concerned.
"she's fine, colonel. I would like to talk about her at this moment and it's very important" They nod and waited for him to start.
"we may have a problem... before major Carter entered the SGC.. she gave birth to a boy. I know this must be a shock to you but let me explain" he warned them.
SG-1 were too preocupied to be shocked to say anything. A part of them still denied what was happening. Hammond explained them her story and how it has been difficult for her to do so.
"Now since her cousin fell pregnant of her own child, Max is due to return with his mother"
"wow" Daniel breathed, still under shock. Teal'c tilted his head to one side, letting the information sink in. As for Jack, he still tried very hard to deny it.
"major carter was.. scared by your reaction and told me to deliver the message from her. She wishes to be alone at the moment but she will bring Max here tomorrow so I and her father could greet him to his new life.. you will meet him then"
They nod and left his office
"I can't believe she never told us about this!" Jack slammed his fist against his locker once they were alone in the locker room.
"Jack, this must be hard for her too, she never raised her son alone and God knows how hard it is to raise a four year old boy when the mother is single" Daniel tried to reason with him but Jack wasn't listenning.
"I wish major Carter and her son the best of happiness" Teal'c commented and Daniel nod in agreement. Jack spinned around to face them "do you have any idea how this will change SG-1's future? A LOT!" he shouted and kicked the bench.
"no it won't change the team, Sam won't mixed up her private and working like together, she knows better than that and you know better than that!" Daniel shouted back "it ain't gonna change the team, it's gonna change *you* and only you!" and then he and Teal'c stormed out of the locker room.
Jack watched him go and closed his eyes "this is not happening" he said to himself and rubbed his face with his hands.
The next day, Sam drove to her cousin's house.
"Oh God" she whispered nervously. She never had this much butterflies in her stomach in all her life. The minute she enters that house her whole life would change and there was no turning back. Decided, she stepped out of her car and knocked on the door.
A brunette woman came to answer and her smile widen when she saw Sam "Oh! billy! come and look who's here!" the woman shouted for her husband to come "Sam!" she said and pulled her into a firm hug.
"congradulations for your first child, Michelle" Sam said, returning the hug.
"look who's here, ain't it our dear Sammie" Billy came to view behind Michelle and teased her, pulling her in an embrace "congradulation the both of you" Sam repeated and they let her step in the house.
"nervous?" Michelle ask Sam when she stopped talking. Sam smiled and nod "it's been a few weeks since I last came to visite him" she explained, a little worried.
"don't worry, he can't wait to go home with you. He already calls your house 'home'" Michelle smiled "he's packing in his room" she pointed towards the stairs. Sam smiled at them one last time before walking towards her son's old room.
She stopped at the entrance when she saw her son jumping on his suitcase full of clothes, trying to get it closed.
"you'll never get that to close, Maxie" just has he heard his surname, he turned quickly and saw Sam standing in his doorway "momy!" he dashed towards her and hugged her strongly.
"hey, sweetie, ready to come at my place?" the boy nod against her shoulders and pulled away "yes! momy" he took her hand and pulled her towards his suitcase "it doesn't wanna close" he said and pointed at his full suitcase. Sam knelt beside him "listen, why don't you bring all that is very important and we'll buy you new clothes and toys back when we'll be home, ok?"
Max smiled and nod "ok, I'll go talk to Michelle and I'll see you later" he nod and kissed her on the cheek before she walked towards Michelle and her husband.
"thank you for taking care of him for me"
"Oh don't worry Sam, he was a real sweetheart. You call us whenever you need some help, ok?"
Sam nod and watch her son walking down and sliding his suitcase behind him. Michelle took a step forward and squeezed Sam's hand softly "you'll do great with him" Sam nod and said good bye.
An hour later, they arrived at her house and put everything in place for Max in his new bedroom, which was before Sam's office. Sam promised him that they'll get a new bed, new paint and new furniture as soon as she could. Now that they had something to eat and dressed in new clothes, Sam walked to Max.
"hey, come with me, some friends of mine would like to see you. Grand-daddy and uncle George will be there"
The boy nod quickly, happy he would see them again. Putting a baseball cap on his head, she drove towards the SGC.
"why you nervous, momy?" her son asked her as they stepped out of the car. Sam knelt down to look at him in the eyes and smiled "some of my friends doesn't know you very well, that's all" he nod and took her hand, walking to the entrance.
Jacob was thrilled when he learned she was going to keep her son for good and raise him. He was waiting in the briefing room with the rest of SG-1, Hammond and Janet.
An airman walked in, taking everyone's attention "major Carter has arrived"
"let them in" Hammond ordered, also impatient.
Jack took a deep breath and watched the door carefully.
Sam walked in, looking very nervous, followed by a five year old shy boy.
"dad!" Sam breathed in relief.
"grand-daddy!!' the boy screamed and ran towards him, giving him a big hug.
"hey Max, body"
SG-1 stayed silent, Dainel couldn't help but smile at her. Max was small and sometimes shy, but he had his mother's blue eyes and smile. His hair was a brown and cut short. He was looking adorable!
Jack on the other hand, felt all anger leave him and could only stare at his 2IC's son. He was all smiles and hugging 'uncle' George and Jacob.
Sam called out for him and he walked to her immediatly. She walked towards SG-1 and introduced her son to them.
"Uh, guys, this is.. my son Maxime. Max, this is Daniel Jackson, Teal'c and colonel Jack O'neill"
The boy waved shily at them and giggled when he look at Teal'c. Teal'c raised his eyebrows and tilted his head sightly, only to amuse Max more.
"hello" he finally said. Daniel smiled and knelt down to the young boy's heigh "hello, it's nice to meet you"
The bot smiled and look at Jack "you work with stars too?" he ask in a childish voice.
"yeah, we do" he smiled.
While he was talking to Daniel, Sam walked towards her CO silently "Uh, colonel? can we.. talk?" he look away from Max and to her and nod. He needed to talk her.
"yes we do, major, my office!" he said and they walked away. Max followed with his eyes his mother leaving the room and became suddenly tensed "momy?" he called out for her but Jacob walk up to him.
"momy will be right back" he reassured the boy. He nod and look back to Daniel and started calling Teal'c Mister Teal'c.
Jack opened his door and let Sam in before closing it after them.
"sir, I'm really sorry.." she started but he cut her off "you couldn't tell us before, could you?"
"I couldn't, I wasn't prepared.."
"Carter, because of you the team will have some problems! We were the best team the SGC got for crying out loud!"
Sam knew he wasn't taking this well "sir, we still can be. It won't affect my work at all"
"yes it will, major! how can you risk your life when you know you have a son waiting for you back home, huh?! tell me how, major!!" he was almost shouting now. He was angry.
Sam closed her eyes "sir, Hammond said we could figure something out.."
"figure something out? how the hell can you figure something out when you and your son came to mess up everyone's lives!" Sam was taking aback by his outburst. Jack quickly stopped and look at her quickly "Carter.. he started but this time she cut him off.
"colonel, with respect.. this isn't about me messing up the team, this is about me having a son and telling no one about it! Just let me say something here, if you have a problem me having my son back then I don't give a damn, you can always put me on another team 'cause I won't get rid of him because you think it's fucking up your team!" and with that she left his office and walked straight to the briefing room.
"come on Max, we're going" the boy nod and took her hand and waved everyone bye byes.
"so soon?" Daniel ask her, puzzled and then saw Jack walking in the room. Jacob took a step forward "what happened? what's wrong?"
"nothing's wrong, I think the colonel made it clear" she shot him a deadly look.
"Carter.." he started but she left the room with her son before he could continue further. Everyone turned to look at him.
"what happened?"
"she's leaving, that's what happened" he shouted sarcastically and walked out of the room and towards his quarters.
Janet, Teal'c and Daniel looked at each other and all left to the commissary, followed by Jacob and Hammond.
"what do you think happened?" Daniel whispered to Janet sitting in front of him. Jacob and Hammond were sitting to another table just behind them.
"I don't know, colonel O'neill didn't look too happy with the idea of Sam having a son"
"maybe he is thinking of his own deceased child" Teal'c informed them. Daniel shook his head "I don't think so, he never talks about him"
"maybe he thinks it's gonna ruin the team"
"I don't think so, Daniel, the colonel knows Sam better than that" Janet answered. Suddenly, Jacob walked to their table "I'm leaving soon, I don't think Sam will come here anytime soon. She looked pretty angry when she came out of colonel O'neill's office"
"we'll try to figure out what happened" Daniel promised.
"thank you, if you find something else, just give us a call. The Tok'ra don't do much these days" he forced a smile and left. Hammond walked up to their table "keep an eye on the colonel, his team his facing some tough times now and I know the colonel long enough to know he's facing tough times himself concerning major Carter"
Janet nod "yes, sir, we will" Hammond nod and left the commissary to join Jacob in the Gate room.
Daniel stood up "I'll better have a talk with Jack, asking what happened"
"be careful, you know him when he gets cranky" Janet warned "I'll wait for you in the infirmery" she half teased and watched Daniel walk out of the commissary.
Daniel knocked on Jack's door of his quarters and heard a harsh reply "come in!"
"Jack" Daniel said, not letting Jack intimidate him "we need to talk!"
"I don't have the time, Daniel!" Jack said, his tone was on a warning edge. He was sitting at his desk, loads of paperwork were lying on his desk in front of him.
"Oh you'll make time!" Daniel replied firmly "what the hell happened between you and Sam?"
"it's not of your business, Daniel" he said, finally looking at the mad archeologist.
"yes, Jack, it is my business. Sam is my friends, she's like a sister to me. Now I want to know what happened on how you made her this angry when she left!"
"Daniel, she messed up! she's gonna suffer for the consequences"
Daniel frowned "what? what did she messed up? she didn't do nothing, Jack. Sam is and always be the same Sam we knew and know. She knows that this makes a difference in SG-1, but she'll do anything to keep the team together and you know that!"
"it's a bit late for that, huh Daniel!? she's getting transfered and that's final!"
"what the hell is your problem, Jack? Do you think Sam can't do her job like old times because now she's a mom? Let me tell you something, Jack, Sam always been a mom and we just didn't know it, she won't change because Max came back in her life permanently! Or is it maybe because she will spend more time with her son than to be with us anymore.. or maybe to be with you anymore" Daniel finished, lowering his voice to a normal tone.
Jack stared at Daniel, angry and disbelief was written in his eyes "She's getting transfered and that's final!" he replied, his tone was low but it was very firm. Daniel knew he had touched a nerve but didn't want to go further or he'll end up in the infirmery just like Janet predicted.
"fine, Jack" Daniel said softly, hurt was visible in his eyes "but just remember this, you are pushing the only person who had made you feel good. Don't regret your actions after the tranfer, because God knows you won't have friends left to help you through tough times"
"Daniel" Jack warned, his voice raising again "out!" he pointed to the door.
"Oh don't worry Jack, I'm loosing my time talking to this moron called Jack O'neill!" ok, now Daniel was mad, Jack had pushed the wrong button.
"you do realise how stupid you can be sometimes! Do you even care how you made her feel? She got hurt Jack, she thought you'd be someone who could undestand her but I guess she was wrong. You never really cared for her, you never really wanted her to be your friend. She was just someone to get you out of trouble and you knew she couln't accept failure. You don't care for her at all!" Daniel was almost whispering but his voice was firm with anger that was building up every second.
Jack said nothing, he was just staring at him and if looks could kill, Daniel would be the first. Daniel started to laugh coldly.
"you know what Jack? you're a son of a bitch. You don't even deserve to have met her, you don't deserve her friendship and not even her love. She loved you and trusted you, the only thing you did was blame her, shout at her and transfer her?? This is low, Jack, this is cowardness" Daniel finished and turned around and walk towards the door.
"don't you ever *ever* talk to me like that, is that clear?" Jack almost shouted but Daniel closed the door behind him and walk towards the infirmery.
Janet, Teal'c and Hammond were waiting impatiently for Daniel's return. Janet quickly straighten up when she saw a very frustrated Daniel coming their way.
"he is *such* an idiot!" Hammond frowned at his outburst.
"what? why, what happened?" Janet suddenly walking towards him.
"he doesn't care, he doesn't care for her anymore" at this moment, Daniel also didn't care Hammond was in the room. Everyone looked at him but he showed no signs of being surprised.
"what else, Dr Jackson?" he asked, braking the attentions from him.
"he wants to transfer Sam on another team. He doesn't want her on SG-1 and I don't think Sam wants to see him either"
Janet closed her eyes "everything is falling apart. Sam is out of SG-1 for sure, I can't even look at Jack anymore without shouting after him and Jack won't face us 'cause Sam isn't there for us.. him anymore" Daniel said quietly and sigh.
"I won't let major Carter transfer to another team because O'neill wants to. I'm his superior and major Carter wasn't an option, she was an order. She's our expert of the stargate and her place is with SG-1" Hammond said firmly and exited the infirmery.
Daniel turned to look at Janet "God I hope he won't let her stay" Janet frown "what? you don't want Sam on SG-1!?" she was stunned but Daniel quickly told her otherwise.
"no God no! I want her to be on SG-1 but now there's no team. If Sam comes back, Jack and her will always be snapping at each other and Jack will find an excuse to report to Hammond her insubordination. I want everyone to come back the way they were before, only will Sam's son be the difference, she will stay Sam for me for ever"
Janet nod in understanding and brought him in a hug "me too, Daniel, me too" she said softly. Teal'c stayed away and watched from afar the team braking apart.
Meanwhile, Sam was sad and angry. She drove home quietly, Max was singning with the music playing on the radio. She turned to look at him quickly before looking back on the road. He was worth everything, her son who she missed most in the world. She started thinking about her CO, who used to be suporting her and being her friend. He never blamed her for anything and now he was throwing everything at her. She was hurt, not only because was he her CO and friend but also because he was the man she had fallen for over the past few years.
Shaking away the unwanted thoughts, she turned to look at Max again "what do you want to eat tonight?"
Max stopped signing and look at her "I can choose?"
Sam nod "yep! you sure can, it's your day today. Your first day at home, we'll have fun"
The young boy smiled widely and started thinking of what he wanted to eat.
"can we eat pizza?" he ask her, unsure. Sam laughed and nod "ok, pizza it is, then. How'bout we get a movie too? we can watch it over eating"
"yes!!" Max said, joyfully. Sam nod and drove to the pizzeria, ordering a pizza and then they went renting a movie. Max was choosing and it was ok for Sam. He finally ended up taking Tarzan.
They drove home and ate while watching the movie. They didn't realised how late it was for Max to go to bed.
"ok, Max, it's time to go to bed now" Max whinned a few minutes then nod and they went in his new room. She helped him getting dressed and ready to go to bed. After brushing his teeth, Max went in bed and ask her for a bedtime story.
"please?" he made his puppy dog face and Sam couldn't resist. She nod and warned him about not a long one. She took out a book she had given him for his birthday and started reading a story. No soon after, Max was already sound asleep and Sam kissed him good night before going to bed herself.
For the next week, Sam and Max went buying a new bed, new wall colors and furniture. They finished painting the walls of his room in sky blue and everything was in place. Max was thrilled about his bed because it was shaped like a racing car.
Hammond had already considered a temporary replacement for Sam for a few weeks until everything was cleared. Though he thought he had made a good decision, he had not.
Also during that week, no one from the SGC had seen Sam nor Max since the day he came back. She wasn't calling and wasn't going at the SGC. Jack, on the other hand, was becoming more and more a pain for everyone. He didn't stopped snapping at everyone and locked himself in his house without coming out for the rest of the week unless they had a mission.
SG-1 was not falling apart, it was already apart.
It's been already two hours since SG-1 came back from their latest mission. Jack wasn't talking unless spoken to. And this was the same thing for everyone else. The tension at the de-briefing was at a high level, though it wasn't new to the members of SG-1. The new member replacing major Carter, called Lt colonel Brooks, wasn't liked from anyone. Though Hammond had repleadly said that he was the closest to Carter they had found and they needed his expertise.
Finally, Hammond granted everyone a few days of downtime, much to Jack's pleasure. He had found working at the SGC extremly frustrating these past couple of weeks. Since he asked for a replacement for Carter. He quickly stood up, avoiding everyone's gaze, and prepared himself to go at his house.
Sitting on his couch, he took another glass of Vodka. He couldn't talk to anyone without snapping at them. He kept dreaming about the day they learned Sam had a son. He couldn't understand why he was mad at her himself. He missed her.. a lot. He couldn't deal with the new guy for another second. He wasn't laughing and was always serious. He never challenged Jack like Sam did, but then again, Jack wouldn't feel confortable flirting with the young man either.
"Oh God" he moaned and closed his eyes, tryin to keep the tears from running down his cheeks. Why was he crying over such a small matter?
"because I love her" he whispered and quickly opened his eyes widely. He couldn't believe it, he was in love with her. He admited it to himself and he had said the words out loud "I love her" he said this time firmly.
Standing up, he decided that tomorrow he'll go at her house and ask for forgiveness. Tonight, he'll have a good night sleep and get the Vodka out of his system.
"momy momy momy!" Max said excitedly "can we play cath? can we please?" Sam look up from her book and sat straighter on the couch "you wanna play catch, huh"
Max nod quickly and then making his puppy dog eyes. Sam laughed "ok, let's go in the park!"
"yay!" he grabbed his baseball hat and put it on before grabbing his glove and ball. It was a good thing Sam's house was situated just in front of the park. They crossed the street and Max ran away, screaming "catch me! catch me!"
They ran for awhile before Sam decided they should play catch. Max smiled and nod and they started playing. Meanwhile, Jack arrived at her house and saw them in the park. Sam was running after Max, trying to catch him and when she did she started tickling him. After a while, they started playing catch. Sam also had a baseball cap, a navy blue one. She was laughing and looked relaxed. He liked it seeing her like this, she never looked more beautiful when she was relaxed and having fun.
After a moment, he decided it would be best if he goes to her before she founds out he was spying on her and her boy. Stepping out of the car, he took off his leather coat, leaving him in his baggy pants and his short sleeve blue shirt.
"Carter" he called out for her when he was near enough. Sam turned around, surprised and confused when she saw him.
"colonel" she acknowledge, not feeling too happy to see him.
"I really need to talk to you"
"sir..."
"Jack, Sam, my name is Jack!" he stated, stopping in front of her. God he missed that face, her eyes so blue, her smiles and most of all, *her*
Sam turned to Max and knelt down in front of him "I have to talk to my friend here for a few minutes, ok? why don't you go play with Steven over there" she pointed at her neighboor's son who Max started to be friends with "if you need anything just shout, I'm right across the street" he nod and kissed her before running off to see Steven. Sam stood up and faced her CO "let's go" she said and walked towards her house. Jack took several minutes before following her. He liked what he was seeing, her with a child, they were great together.
"ok, what" she said, impatiently once they were in her house.
"Carter, listen. I'm sorry for what I said the other day.. heck! the other week. Everyone misses you and that moron who replaces you is really getting on everyone's nerves"
"colonel, why were you so rude anyway?" she asked, accusingly.
"it was a shock, Carter!"
"it was a hell of a bigger shock for me, sir. Now I don't even know if I can work at the SGC again. I have my son to take care of now and he sure hell won't dissapear from my life again!"
"Sam" Jack started "Hammond said we'll figure something out, there must be some way to keep you. You're the smartest person who knows about the stargate, so we need you... I.." he stopped and lowered his gaze.
Sam frown "'I' what, colonel?"
"I told you my name was Jack"
"fine.. Jack!" she said and look through the window at Max who was playing catch with Steven.
"I miss you too" he said softly. Sam turned to look at him, surprised. He missed her that much? Sam didn't feel like being angry at him anymore. Heck, she missed him too!
"I.. I missed you too" she said softly, looking away, a little embarest by their admittion. Jack look up and smiled at her. She could be so forgiven, but he didn't took that for granted.
He put his hand under her chin, making her look at him, and smiled warmly. Their eyes locked and slowly Jack started to lean down and captured her lips softly. The kiss was slow at first, sensual and full of promises but it started to get passionate.
Suddenly, they heard screamings and a car accident just in front of the house. Quickly parting away, Sam looked through her window and gasped when she saw Max lying on the ground.
"Max!" she shout, panicking and ran outside, Jack on her heels.
"hey Max!" Sam knelt beside her son that was lying unconscious on the ground. Jack quickly called an ambulance and the cops.
"wake up baby" Max wouldn't open his eyes and his pulse was getting weaker. Jack came back a second after and went towards them. His heart stopped when he saw Max lying on the ground, there was blood around him and he was unconscious.
"Oh God" he whispered and made a run to them.
"he can't die" Sam said and look at him, tears streaming rapidly down her cheeks. He shook his head and brought her in an embrace 'no, he can't die, he can't' he thought.
The ambulance and the cops came on the scene quickly. Only Max was injured, the man driving the car only had small injuries and was blaming the child to be too close to the street. The cops took him away before Jack could make permanent damages on him.
TBC
-Tropical & Kami-
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Tropical&Kami
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
How Could I?
by Tropical, KamiSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis