Grace's Drabbles
Grace's Drabbles
by jackwabbit
Summary: A Series of Drabbles.alternating POVs within the episode 'Grace'
Category: Drabble, Missing Scene/Epilogue, POV, Thoughts
Episode Related: 713 Grace
Season: Season 7
Pairing: Team, Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: minor language
Author's Notes: My gratitude to Becky, for Beta, and for introducing me to Stargate.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 02/06/07
JACK My heart isn't threatening to pound it's way out of my chest. I'm not trying to hold down what little I could eat for breakfast. I didn't spend the last three hours staring at my desk and trying not to lose it. Everything's fine. Please, Daniel, understand me. Please believe me, so that maybe I can believe myself. I can't care. Because if I care, I'll crack. And if I crack, I'll shatter. I know it. I'm feelin' a little fragile right now, and I am NOT ok with that. So please, Daniel, leave me alone. Don't push this. Please.
DANIEL Jack? What the hell is going on? Why don't you care about this? Why are you coming up with reasons things won't work? I know it's a long shot, but I've never known you to not try everything when a life was at stake. I've seen you try some pretty idiotic things-why not now? I mean, this is SAM. I would think that...oh...OH...oh, shit. You still love her. Despite everything. And now this...you think you've lost her. It hurts, so you bottle it up. Pretend everything's fine. The macho sarcasm doesn't fool me...you're scared shitless, O'Neill...oh, Jack...I'm sorry...
HAMMOND I can tell by the way the Colonel comes through the gate how things have gone on the other side. This time is no exception. Nothing to report. Another bust. Frustration is radiating out of Jack O'Neill like light from the sun. His usual sarcasm is turned up a notch, and bordering on insubordination. Understandable, but not acceptable. I can hear the ache in his voice as he tries to be so brave. As he stalks out, I am left with only one thought. Jackson, fix this. I can't abide this. You find Major Carter or you fix Jack. Understood?
JACK God, I'm angry. So angry I could choke the life out of anyone who comes near just for fun. I swear to God if Daniel follows me and wants to talk, you can scratch one SGC archeologist. I'm so pissed I can't even see straight. I'm pissed at myself. Why do I give a rat's ass that Carter might not be coming back and I may never have a chance to talk to her again? There's nothing there. We're teammates, friends, comrades. Nothing more. So why do I care so much that she's gone? I'm trying not to...it ain't working...
DANIEL Hammond's eyes bore into mine and I can tell what he's thinking. I'm Jack's oldest friend here. It's my responsibility to patch him up again. But truth be told, I don't think I can. He's already given up. I've seen him like this before, and there's nothing I can do that will make it better. I've already felt the sting of Jack's words once today, and I won't subject myself to them again. At this point, I've done all I can. Jack won't let me in and I can't make him. I'm not his keeper. Teal'c moves, and I'm grateful.
TEAL'C I do not pretend to understand, even now, all that the Tau'ri do. And O'Neill is sometimes the biggest mystery of all. Today, however, there is no quandary. O'Neill is hurting and angry. The long history of O'Neill and Major Carter is complicated, but the feelings of my friend today are not. Despite the fact that he cannot be with her, O'Neill cares for Major Carter deeply. Now, to have her missing, bringing up unpleasant reminders of why he should not care...I can only offer my presence as comfort, and it is a small token, but one I must offer.
JACK Teal'c, why did you tell me that? Why did you imply that Carter might feel something more than friendship for me? Why did you put these thoughts into my head? I sure as hell wish you hadn't. Because now, sitting here, watching her sleep, after we've somehow gotten her back yet again, I can't ignore myself. I usually can. I convince myself that it's a pipe dream and it doesn't matter how I feel about Carter, because there's no way she could feel anything close to the same way. But now...I wonder...and I don't know that that's a good thing...
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