It Should Have Been Me
It Should Have Been Me
by Nutty1
TITLE: It Should Have Been Me
AUTHOR: Nutty1
EMAIL: mezzy34@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack romance, missing scene for Point Of View, Drama
SPOILERS: Point Of View
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 3
RATING: R
CONTENT WARNINGS: male/female relationship/Some violence/angst
SUMMARY: An alternate ending to the episode "Point Of View" and someone's feeling very jealous.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing........... I'm just using stuff for entertainment. No money was made.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Constructive criticism wanted, as always.No ~flames~ please. Thanks a bunch folks. =]
She stepped in closer to him. Smiling at him, she kissed him. Her arm wrapping around his neck. Sam watched from the other side of the Quantum Mirror, clearly shocked and disheartened. He couldn't kiss her. She watched them separate slowly.
"You really not him, are you?" she asked softly, tears ready to fall from her eyes at any moment.
"No" he replied softly. She smiled as the tears left her eyes and trailed down her face.
"I just wish..." she stopped. He smiled.
"Yeah." She wiped her eye that a tear was ready to fall from. He turned and faced the mirror. She sniffed as she watched him go from her reality back to his own. He smiled to her again, watching as the tears fell down her cheeks. She tried to smile back, but only managed a small one. Her sadness at losing him again preventing her from being overly happy. They watched each other for a moment, until the mirror was shut off. Jack walked away from the room and the mirror. Daniel and Teal'c left too. Sam watched it for a moment, as though expecting it to turn on again any second. After a moment, she was satisfied it wouldn't and left also. She followed her CO's path until she almost caught up with him on his way back from the locker room.
"Colonel!" she called after him as she ran to catch him.
"Oh. Hey Carter. What's up?" He asked as she walked with him to his quarters.
"Oh. Nothing."
"Come on Carter. What do you wanna ask me? I know you want to ask something."
"Well, now that you mention it, I do. Why did you kiss her?" He stopped.
"Excuse me?"
"Why did you kiss that alternate reality version of me?"
"I didn't. She kissed me."
"So, why didn't you stop her?"
"What? Why the sudden interest?"
"Just tell me."
"I don't really see why I should have to." He started to walk again. Slower though. She walked with him.
"Tell me."
"She was dealing with a loss. A big one. The loss of her husband me in her reality. She seemed to need the comfort. And anyway, why should it bother you?" /She couldn't possibly be jealous, could she? God, no. Not Carter/
"It should have been me, that's why it bothers me. You shouldn't have been kissing her. You should have been kissing me!" Sam exclaimed. She noticed her quarters and pushed him into the door.
"Carter!"
"It should have been me!" She exclaimed. Quickly opening the door, Jack stumbled inside. Sam slammed the door shut and locked it with her key and then threw it to an unknown location of the room. She grabbed his shoulders and pinned him against the space of wall next to the door, forcing her lips against his imperatively.
"Carter! What's going on?!" Jack exclaimed through her lips. She pressed them hard against his, leaving him no option but to try and force her off. She obeyed momentarily. "What the hell's goin' on?!" He asked again. She imposed her mouth on his again. He tried to gain some control over her, but she forced her weight on him against the wall. He raised his hands and pushed hard on her shoulders. She leaned back from him once more. "What the hell's gotten into you?!"
"I want you" she purred. Almost enjoying her force upon him. She urged her mouth over his again. He tried to talk, but found he couldn't. Normally, he would have loved to have kissed her, but not like this. She was just using sheer force. Obligating him to stay beneath her. Allowing him no control at all. He tried to yell; in hope someone would hear and come to the door and bash it down, just to get her off him. She grabbed his wrists in one of her hands and held them tightly. Her other hand clutched around his shoulder, pressing it into the wall. Suddenly there was a knock at her door.
"Sam? Sam are you in there?" It was Daniel. /Oh God, come in. Please come in!/ Jack hoped fervently.
"Daniel!! Come in!" Jack tried to yell through her forced kisses. It came out as only a muffle, but it was at least sound. He should have heard it too, they were right next to the door.
"Jack?" Daniel questioned incredulously.
"Yes! Come in!!" He attempted to shout. Again, it was dampened by Sam's mouth over his. She refused to relent. Her strength, seemingly endless. Jack struggled with her, pushing her forward, almost gaining some control over her. She found her strength again and practically threw him, hard against the door. He winced as he collided with it unforgivingly and it almost dislocated his shoulder. Daniel jumped back slightly at the sudden thump.
"What's going on in there?!" he asked. Jack managed to push Sam off him completely for a moment, and she fell backwards. He turned to the door and didn't see her pull the drawer out of her dresser and begin to empty it.
"Daniel! You gotta get me outta here! Quick! Carter's... well, she needs to get to the Infirmary quick! I don't know what's wrong with her. She's nuts! You gotta get someone in here! Now! Pl..." the rest of his sentence died as Sam whacked the drawer from her dresser across the back of his head forcefully. He grabbed his head and turned to her. She smiled and before he even got a chance to say anything the drawer met his face ruthlessly and he fell back onto the door then slid to the floor, unconscious. She hit him with it a few more times until there was blood dripping from some small cuts on his head. Just to make sure he was unconscious, and would stay that way for a while.
"Jack?! What happened?! Sam? Sam, it's Daniel. Can you open the door please? I'm not going to hurt you. Please, open the door Sam."
"Daniel, do you think I'm stupid?! I know what you want me to do. And you can forget about it. He's staying in here with me. No one else can have him!" Sam exclaimed. She suddenly felt a shooting pain rush through her head. She cried as it gripped her within it and she fell to the ground and passed out for a moment. She woke up, but moments later and looked around her room. She saw the drawer from her dresser was on the ground and next to it, her CO.
"Colonel! Oh God, what have I done?!" She exclaimed as she crawled over to him.
"Sam. Can you please open the door?" Daniel repeated calmly.
"Daniel? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Yeah it's me. You going to open the door for me?"
"Sure, hang on. I don't know where my keys are." Sam crawled around the room and searched the floor. Finally, under her bed, she found the missing item. She unlocked the door. Daniel heard it and flew the door open, only for it to stop half way by meeting with Jack's head.
"Jack! What happened Sam?!"
"I don't know! I woke up on the floor and saw him there like that."
"You mean you don't remember doing anything to him?"
"No! God no. You're saying I did this?"
"Well do you see anyone else in here?"
"No. But... someone else must have done it."
"What, are you saying Jack took your drawer and hit himself with it until he passed out?!"
"No. I don't remember doing anything to him."
"Well you did! Help me get him to the Infirmary" Daniel said angrily. From hearing Jack calling to him for help, and then hearing the painful pounding of the draw colliding with his head a number of times, he knew Sam had done it. Consciously or not.
"What happened?" Janet asked as she saw the blood seeping from Jack's head.
"We're not exactly sure" Daniel covered as they placed Jack on a hospital gurney.
"What do you mean you're not exactly sure?"
"Well, umm..." Daniel led her away as Sam watched her CO worriedly. "I think Sam did it. They were in her quarters and the door was locked. Then when I went in, I saw Jack on the floor next to the drawer from Sam's dresser. She claims not to remember doing anything to him. She said she woke up on the floor and saw him. I don't know what's going on" Daniel explained.
"Well, it looks like we'll have to wait until Colonel O'Neill's conscious" Janet said as she walked back over to him to tend to the cuts on his head. Sam and Daniel waited a while until Jack woke up. Later that day, he did. Janet and Daniel went to ask him what he remembered to have happened, thinking it best Sam not be there. He was a bit groggy from the drugs and there were some horrible dark bruises forming on his face, but he remembered what happened quite clearly.
"Colonel. Tell me what happened."
"I was walking back to my quarters. Carter came up to me and walked with me, then started interrogating me on why the alternate reality Sam kissed me. I explained, but she wouldn't have a bar of it, and said something about it should have been her. She pushed me into her quarters and locked the door and threw the key away. She pinned me to the wall and kissed me, but not softly, forcefully. I kept trying to get her off me and asked her to explain what was going on, but she wouldn't listen, just said she wanted me or something. Then I heard Daniel through the door and tried yelling to him even though I still couldn't get Carter off me. He heard me, somehow. I managed to get her off me long enough to tell him to get help and that she needed to get to the Infirmary quick, but then she got, something, I only got the end of it, and whacked me with it. I guess I passed out, cos I don't remember anything else. I didn't know what she was going to do, or why. She was insane. She was outta control. I couldn't stop her. What's wrong with her?" Jack asked, rubbing his throbbing head gingerly, feeling the lump where Sam had whacked the draw across his face strongly.
"I think we should get her down here for some tests" Janet said. Daniel and Jack nodded. The doctor went to find Sam while Daniel stayed with Jack, just in case she came while no one was there and did something else to him. Janet returned with her a few minutes later.
"Colonel! God, are you ok?" Sam asked concernedly, running over to him.
"Stay away from me!" He exclaimed.
"Colonel?"
"Please. Just stay away. Until I know you're ok."
"What?"
"Sam. I'm going to do some tests on you. Ok?" Janet asked.
"No. It's not ok. I'm fine. I don't need tests."
"It's just a precaution Sam. I'm not going to hurt you or anything."
"I don't care. I'm not having any tests done on me. I'm fine. Tell her Colonel. Tell her I'm fine. I didn't do this to you. Please" Sam begged him. She really didn't seem to know what they were talking about. Still, he couldn't trust her after what she did. Not yet anyway. He still trusted her. He always would. But he couldn't believe her right now. It was too confusing. He closed his eyes, only to have the vision of her force on him flash before him. He flung them open again not willing to see those images again. He said nothing. Janet led Sam away to begin the tests.
"Dr. Jackson. You might want to see this" Janet Fraiser walked to him and told him a few hours of waiting later. He went with her.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Look at this. She has some sort of creature inside her. No, it's not a Goa'uld. It's not a creature exactly. But there is definitely something in there."
"Inthere?"
"Her mind. Something in it is causing her to act so strange. Now, what she did to Colonel O'Neill would have beensomeof her own emotions, but whatever this thing is, would have made them one hundred times worse than they should have been. Her reaction was based on this thing inside her. Like I said, it would have all started out with Sam's feelings, but then this thing would have taken over and made her response the way it was. I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to stop it. And I have no idea when and where she could have got it. She would have had to have got it before the Alternate Reality people showed up, because she hasn't been anywhere since then where she could have got this. My guess is she contracted it on your last mission, and it took a little while to take effect, or something had to set it off. By the looks, it's been set off and now it's taking effect. But I don't know what else it will do. After that little outburst with Colonel O'Neill, she seems to have been fine and doesn't remember any of what she did. Still, I will have to advise that she be pulled off duty for a while and I'll do some more tests. I don't know what's going on, and I'll have to find out. I don't even know if this thing could kill her" Dr. Fraiser explained. Daniel listened, and couldn't believe his ears. He raised his eyebrows incredulously.
"Oh. Is that all?"
"Sorry. I know I hit you with that all at once, but I really had to tell someone. You can try explaining it to Colonel O'Neill if you like, or I could tell him everything I told you, but in a shortened form. I really don't think I could say all that again."
"Ok then. You tell him the short version."
"Right."
After explaining it to Jack, he seemed to understand Sam's actions better. He thought that whole 'twin thing' must have got to her a little more than she let on. He had asked her, but it was obviously bothering her. And the whole kissing thing must have really topped it off for her. He still didn't fully understand her reaction. Wether or not the thing inside her made her think she was in love with him or something, or she actually was. She seemed genuinely jealous that the Alternate Reality version of her had kissed him. And she obviously wished it were her. He wished it had have been her too. Although it was technically her, but from another reality, he wanted her, from his reality. And she wished the same. She wished that it could have been her, and was really her own thoughts and not something the thing inside her conjured. She did wish it had have been her, but if she didn't have something inside her, she would never have reacted the way she did, and never would have hurt him the way she did either. She resented herself for doing what she did, even though she had no recollection of doing anything, just by looking at him and the violent bruises on his face, she could see that whatever she had done, must have been fairly violent, and not something she would normally have even dreamed of doing. To anyone, let alone him. Of all people, she would never do anything to hurt him. Of course the thing inside her, knew that, and was going to use it against her, every step of the way too. If it could make her do something to someone she would most hate to hurt in the world, it would. And it knew it was him. So, it was him that it would target. To get to her. It was all to get to her, and hopefully make her go completely insane. And if not make her go insane, make her kill someone and then hate herself for the rest of her life, in knowing what she did. Janet hadn't told her what she found out yet. She hated to think how she would announce that she had something inside her, making her do the things she was doing.
"Sam. There's something I need to tell you."
"What is it Janet? What's the matter?"
"There is something inside you. It's not a Goa'uld, and I don't know what it is exactly. It's some sort of parasite, like a Goa'uld, but not quite as bad from what I can tell so far. What happened with you and Colonel O'Neill, was partly your own actions, and feelings, but a lot of this creature. The actions were based on your feelings, so I'm guessing it can some how read your thoughts and use them against you. So, basically, it found your thoughts and feelings for Colonel O'Neill, and mixed them all together with its.... whatever... and made you do what you did. But it wasn't you doing it. I've explained it all to Colonel O'Neill, and he understands. He was just a bit cautious before because of what you did, and because he didn't know what was going on. But now he knows, and he's not angry with you. You can see him if you want. But I've recommended that you be taken off duty for a few weeks until I can sort out what this thing is and what it will do to you. Or more to the point, what it can do to you." Sam was shocked. She stood silently for a moment and thought carefully about everything she was just told. This thing could read her thoughts and feelings. It would use them against her. And all her thoughts and feelings were based around one person. She had already hurt him once; she didn't want to do anything to him again. And if this thing was going to use her thoughts and feelings against her, then it would surely make her do more things to hurt him. She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't hurt him again. Even if it weren't really her doing it, she still wouldn't allow herself to even get the chance to.
"Ok. Can you come with me while I go and see the Colonel? You don't have to stand right next to me or anything, just be in the room."
"Why?"
"Because all the thoughts and feelings in my mind are about him. So, if this things knows that, it'll hurt him. I don't want to hurt him again. So if you're there, and I look as though I'm not in control and I might do something, come and take me away. Ok?"
"Ok. Let's go."
"I'll just stand over here, ok? Not far."
"Thanks Janet" Sam replied as she walked over to her CO's bed. He turned and saw her coming toward him and smiled. Didn't back away and didn't panic. He just smiled. How could someone just disregard the fact that it was this person that was the reason why he was in the Infirmary in the first place? She wished she could.
"Colonel. How are you?" Sam asked as she sat down, concern written all over her face.
"I'm in one piece, so I'd say I'll be fine. How about you?" He replied.
"Yeah. I'm ok" Sam answered, forgetting that he knew about everything.
"Not what Doc tells me."
"Oh. Apart from the thing infesting my mind, I'm good."
"Sure?"
"Yeah. Thanks for your concern."
"Don't want to see you getting hurt."
"Thanks. I appreciate it. Well, I'd better go and get locked up before I go doing something to someone else" Sam smiled bravely.
"Locked up?"
"Yeah. Well, I thought it'd be safer for everyone, especially you, if I was locked up and couldn't get out to hurt anyone. My decision, not Janet's. I think it's best."
"Why? Do you think you're going to do something to someone?"
"Not someone. You."
"Why me?"
"Janet said that this thing inside my mind can read my thoughts and feelings and will use them against me. My thoughts and feelings are all focused on you, so I thought that if I was locked away, I couldn't get out to hurt you. I've already hurt you once, what's to say I won't do it again?"
"I'm sorry, you lost me after, 'Janet said'. But I vaguely remember, thoughts and feelings focused on....who?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Do I have to have a reason?"
"Yeah."
"Because I'm in love with you."
"Oh?"
"Yes. That ok with you?"
"Yeah. Fine. Thanks for telling me."
"That's ok sir." Sam started to leave.
"Oh, and Carter" Jack called. She turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Just for the record, I'm in love with you too." She smiled happily.
"Thank you sir."
Sam insisted she be locked in an isco room during the night, just so everyone on base was safe. Janet didn't think it was necessary, but allowed it. Turned out, they were lucky they did. She could have caused some serious damage if she wasn't locked up. The horrific bangs and thumps that were heard from the room were astronomical. They didn't know what she did in there, but Janet presumed that at night the thing inside her took almost complete control while she slept. And it was lucky for Jack that she was locked up, because she would have come straight after him. All of Sam's thoughts and feelings were on him that night, and so the creature knew for sure, if it was going to do anything to anyone so it would hurt her, it would have to do things to him. She loved him so much, and the beast could feel it. Sense the feelings within her they were so strong. Sam tried to control her feelings and thoughts, and make them leave Jack, but she couldn't and they wouldn't. It was so hard. She wanted to think about him. She liked thinking about him. It was nice. Imagining him smile at her. Talking to her. Laughing with her. Touching her. Anything. She was determined to try and stop, but she knew it would be hard.
In the morning, Sam woke up and called for the doctor to come and let her out of the isco room.
"Janet!"
"Sorry Sam. I got held up. Keys, keys, keys. Uhh, hang on. I can't find the k... uh huh! Found them" she said triumphantly as she held them up. Sam smiled through the bars on the door and waited to hear the click of the keys opening the door. "Guess what?"
"What?" Sam frowned.
"You're going to hate me, but I have some tests scheduled for you today" the doctor smiled hopefully.
"You're right. I'm going to hate you. But I want this thing out of me, so do all the tests you have to to find out about it. When do we start?"
"Now if you like."
"Can I just get a shower first?"
"Sure. Meet you in the Infirmary in twenty?"
"Ok. See you then" Sam smiled at the doctor and headed off to have a shower.
"Where are you Sam? You were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. Please don't have done anything stupid" the doctor mumbled to herself as she paced the Infirmary while she waited for Sam.
"Sorry Janet. I had a long shower. Lost track of time. So sorry" Sam puffed as she ran into the Infirmary. Janet sighed.
"Don't do that to me girl! Come on. Let's get these tests going."
Three gruelling hours later, the tests were complete and the results were being sent off to the lab. Janet said that Sam could go and see Jack again. Sam didn't trust herself, but Janet seemed to. She was grateful for her confidence in her, but still wasn't a hundred percent sure herself. Although she did want to see Jack, she just didn't want to risk the chance that she might hurt him. She slowly walked to his bed. He saw her coming, and smiled. She sat down wearily. She was so drained.
"What's a matter Sam?" Using her name, immediately gained her eye contact.
"Oh nothing."
"Something tells me that isn't entirely true. Why would I think that?"
"You have a way with me, you know that? Ok, so there is something bothering me."
"Ok. That's a start. Now, care to elaborate a little more?" Sam looked at him and half smiled. He smiled back, with that special 'reserved for Sam only' smile. That one that always made her happy. Even if not fully happy, always happier than she was to start with. And this time was no exception. His penetrating brown eyes sent tingles all through her body. And his special smile made her realise just how important he was to her. Without him, a day would be so hard to get through for her. She needed that special someone there to lift her spirits when they were down. To see into her soul and make it smile even when she was sad. He was that special someone. And she knew she would be lost without him.
"It's not the obvious, although that is bothering me a little. It's this whole mind thing. I mean, the whole, 'thing in my mind' is disturbing, but if it can read my thoughts and use them against me..."
"What?"
"I'm scared that I'll hurt you Jack. My thoughts never leave you. I always think about you. And this thing knows that. It knows I love you, and because of that, it'll make me hurt you, to get to me. And it'll work! I don't want to hurt you. I can't even imagine hurting you, and...."
"Sam. Listen to me. I know that." She looked up at him. "I know that you would never dream of doing anything to hurt me. Do you think I don't know that? I do. And I know it's not you fault. It's that stupid damn thing in your mind. But don't worry, Doc'll get it out, and you'll be ok. I promise. I'm not going to let this damn thing take you away from me now Sam. You're not going anywhere. Got it?" Sam smiled at him. How could one person make her feel so safe? So secure? So sure? He could. He did. Sam lifted her hand and cupped his cheek.
"Thank you. Thank you so much" she whispered as she lent over him and their lips met for the first time. For the first time, when they both knew what they were doing. Sam's assault on him that landed him in the hospital bed was not under her control. And therefore, this was their first real kiss. They knew it. They could feel it. And so could the creature in Sam's mind. It sensed her pleasure, and happiness at kissing him. Suddenly, it took control and the kiss got stronger, and became angry. No longer sweet and gentle, and full of lust. No. Now it was anger driven. The beast sensing her pleasure, and feeling the need to extinguish it. It grew more, until it took her mind completely under her control again. Forcing pressure down on Jack, he sensed the change in mood.
"Sam. Sam maybe we should s...." his words were cut off by her force. The creature taking control, and voicing its anger through Sam and her actions. Jack tried calling for help, or someone, but found he could gain no control over her. Reaching his arm out from under her, he felt around the bedside table. He knew the red emergency button was somewhere near there. Feeling around blindly, he finally felt something spherical. He pushed it down and then heard the alarm. The creature inside Sam, sensed that it was something bad and lifted off him. Dr. Fraiser came running, but upon seeing Sam's dazed features, and dark eyes, knew that it wasn't the Sam she knew. She told an officer to go and load up a tranquillizer gun. He ran off to get one.
"Sam. Sam, I know there is still part of you in there. Listen to me. Before you do anything, just hear me out. You don't want to hurt anyone. Ok? No one is going to hurt you. Please, come away from the bed. Come on Sam" Janet coaxed. Sam didn't want a bar of it. The officer returned with a tranquillizer and handed it to Janet. She didn't want to have to use it on her friend, but she had no choice. "Sam, I'm giving you one more chance to come away from the bed and we won't hurt you. If you don't, then I'm going to have to use this. And you know I don't want to do it to you, but I will if I have to. Come on Sam. After three. One. Two....sorry Sam, three!" Janet shot the tranquillizer at her. Hitting her in her right shoulder, she yelled in brief pain and anger and shot a stone look to the Doctor. Jack didn't know what to do. If he said something, she might hurt him, but if he didn't say anything, she might still hurt him. But he wanted to help her. No. Help Sam. He wanted to help Sam.
"Sam. Listen to Janet. Please. No one wants to hurt you. Come on Sam. Please." His words echoed through her mind. Jumbling the sentence and making it come out all wrong and sound like something it wasn't. She was so confused. The words still reiterated through her head, sending a million different messages to her brain, until it was overloaded, and got too confused. She screamed from frustration. The calm, soothing voice came back into range and penetrated through the confusion.
"Sam. Sam, listen to me. No one is going to hurt you. Please Sam. Control it. I know it must be hard, but don't let it win. I know you're strong, and you can fight it off. Try Sam. For me" Jack consoled. He knew it was confusing her, but he knew that she could hear him. He knew that Sam was in there somewhere, and that she could hear him, and she wanted to get out. He knew she could if she had the encouragement. She shook her head furiously, trying to make the beast relent and allow her to take control. The single tranquillizer dart seemed to have no effect on her at all. The creature not only had control, but it made her stronger than normal, and the dart seemed to hardly even touch her. She pulled it out of her arm. Feeling no pain, she threw it at a great velocity back at the doctor. Stabbing into her arm, she almost instantly felt it taking effect and collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Sam smiled deviously. The other nurses had no idea how to use the gun, and were too afraid of her to attempt to. They all ran, leaving Sam alone with Jack. He reached out to hit the emergency button for a second time, but Sam grabbed his arm before his hand got to it. She held his arm and pulled him off the bed and onto the floor. The IV in his arm was dragged up, slicing his skin until it eventually fell out. Blood oozed from the long, deep cut. He pressed his arm against his side in an attempt to help slow the bleeding, but was unsuccessful. Sam literally dragged him along and he left a trail of blood on the ground as it flowed down his arm and dripped off his fingers to the floor. Reaching her quarters, Sam opened the door. Towing Jack into the room, she released his arm and walked to close the door. Jack clutched his bleeding arm with the other. He knew it wasn't Sam doing this to him; it was the creature inside her. He wished to God he knew a way to somehow get through to the creature. Tell it that it didn't really want to hurt him. His arm throbbed as the blood pulsed freely out of the incision. Sam turned back to him and saw the blood staining the floor of her quarters. She then looked to his arm and noticed to blood seeping out from the long slit. Although his hand did its best to cover the injury and slow the bleeding, it was proving ineffective. Sam smiled evilly. Jack had never seen such evil eyes on her. Never seen such a malicious look of joy in causing him pain.
"Sam. Please. Don't. Sam, stop thinking about me. Think about something else. Think about, Naquadah or something. Something sciencey. Something that is nothing to do with anyone. Come on Sam. I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. Come on Sam, please! Try!" Jack yelled helplessly as she walked slowly back over to him, evil smile covering her face. It scared him to see her so overcome with anger and malevolence. He'd never seen her like it before, and he never wished to again. He felt his head spinning, and light-headed. He had lost a lot of blood, and now was starting to feel the effects. Vision blurring, he lost consciousness. Suddenly, Sam felt the same feeling she had felt before. A shooting pain rushing through her head. Grabbing her head, she fell to the floor, passing out near the small pool of blood surrounding Jack.
Waking up nearly an hour later, Sam rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly. Looking at her sleeves, she saw the blood on them. Turning to the floor next to her, it too was stained with blood. And then she saw why.
"Jack! Oh no. What did I do to you? Oh, God I'm so sorry Jack" she said as she inspected his arm. Blood still leaked from the incision. Sam wrapped her jacket around his arm and took him to the Infirmary again. Walking in, the nurses, and Dr. Fraiser were less than happy to see her, especially with an injured man. They all backed away from her.
"It's ok. I'm me now. I'm guessing I wasn't before, right? Anyway, Janet, you'd better take a look at him."
"Yeah. Over here" the doctor knew the sound of her friends' voice an instantly trusted her, but was still cautious. Sam layed Jack's motionless body down on the hospital bed he was previously in. Janet used several stitches to close the deep cut. After cleaning it and dressing it with bandages and placing his arm in a sling, she confirmed that he would be all right. Although he would be in the Infirmary a little longer, and out of commission for a few more days. Sam sighed at the news he would be ok. Asking Janet if she was ok was next. Claiming to be fine, even if still a little drowsy from the tranq. Sam was relieved to know that she too was ok.
Sam sat in the Infirmary for hours, just waiting for Jack to wake up. Janet told her she could see him for a little while after he woke up, and then she would have to do some more tests, or even lock her up again. Sam understood. It was too risky letting her walk around normally when she was clearly unable to control the creature when it got angry. And it did so unexpectedly. Sam knew she would hurt Jack again if she wasn't locked up, and didn't want to take the chance. She waited for what seemed like forever. Janet told her that if he didn't wake up within the hour, she would have to see him another day. When she was better. Sam waited patiently, praying for him to wake up so she could at least hear his voice once more before she was locked up.
"Sam. I'm giving you another half hour. No longer than that. I'm sorry."
"It's ok Janet. I understand. Really. I'm so sorry about...."
"Sam, you don't need to apologise. I know what you were going to say, and it wasn't your fault, and I don't blame you at all. You don't need to be sorry, and I really don't want you to feel bad. Promise me?"
"Yeah, ok. Thanks again Janet."
"That's all right. That's what friends are for right?" She smiled but didn't wait for an answer and left. Sam looked to Jack again. His pale features suddenly awakened. His eyes flickered open and he blinked them into focus.
"Jack. Thank God you're ok. How do you feel?" Sam asked, leaning forward on her chair to look at him closer.
"Sam. Are you ok?" He asked instantly, completely disregarding her query of his condition.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Janet says I can stay here with you for a while and then I have to go and be locked up. And yes, I am going. I can't risk hurting you again. Look what I've done to you already. I will not even be given the chance to hurt you again. Anyway, how's your arm?"
"Arm? Oh. Ok. Sore, but it'll be fine. Have they figured out a way to get this thing out of your head?"
"Not yet. Janet's still working on it, but until then, I have to stay locked away." Jack sighed. It wasn't fair that she should have to be locked up just because she might turn on him. He didn't care. He wanted to spend time with her. Even if it was only in the Infirmary. It was still time with her, and that was at least something. Sam rested her elbows on the side of the bed.
"This'll all be over soon, and then we can have some time off to spend together. Sound appealing?" Sam smiled.
"Yeah" Jack replied, less than enthusiastically. He seemed preoccupied to Sam. And he was, with his thoughts. Nothing else.
"Jack? What's wrong?"
"Hmm? Oh, nothing." Sam looked at him dubiously. "Really Sam. Nothing's wrong. I'm ok. Come here." Sam smiled at his reassurance and lent forward. Hugging him warmly, she felt comfort in his arms or, at least, one arm. Leaning back from him, she didn't even consider kissing him again. If it could turn out like it did before, Sam wasn't even going to contemplate it. She smiled at him.
"Well, I guess I'd better head off. I won't be seeing you for a couple of days by the looks of things, so bye" she told him, and kissed his cheek softly and then got up to leave. Her name called her back.
"Sam." She turned back to him.
"Yeah?" Silence deadened the room for a moment.
"Oh, nothing." She smiled uncertainly and left.
A few days went by, no cure was found for Sam. Jack was released from the Infirmary, although heavily protested by the Doctor. She insisted he stay a few more days until his arm had healed at least a little bit, but he refused and left the Infirmary with his arm in a sling anyway. Dr. Fraiser worked around the clock in an attempt to find some sort of cure or something for Sam, but she found nothing fast. Slumping into a chair in the Infirmary, she sighed. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. How could she possibly be named a doctor, when she couldn't even find a cure for her friend? She hated herself, and she felt as though she was letting Sam down by not being able to help her yet.
"Hey Doc."
"Hmm? Oh, hi Colonel."
"Found anything yet?"
"Nothing. I feel so useless."
"Nah. We all know that you're trying real hard to find it for her. And I know for certain that she doesn't blame you."
"I still can't help but feel that I'm missing something. Or that I'm not trying hard enough or..."
"No. You know that isn't true. You're trying your best to help her, and it isn't your fault that you haven't found anything yet. She knows you're trying your best. She'll be ok. Trust me Doc. She's strong. She'll be ok."
"How do you know that? She might not be ok. If I can't find a cure or something to help..."
"Ahh, but you will. We have full faith you will. Now you have to believe it. Ok? Come on, promise me Doc."
"Ok."
"What? Ok what?"
"I promise."
"Good. Can I see her?"
"Uhh, I guess so. Just be very careful. I know it will seem like you're talking to Sam Carter, but there is something inside her that isn't her. She doesn't want to hurt you, but this thing inside her does. No matter how hard she fights with it, when it sees you, it sees red, and I have no idea why."
"Oh don't worry. I have that effect on most people."
"This is no joking matter. I know it doesn't seem real, but it is very real. You can see her, but be on guard. I'll place a guard outside her isco room, and if he hears anything suspicious, then he'll come in and see what it is. I know it seems a little drastic, but it is necessary. I'm sorry."
"S'ok. See ya Doc."
"Bye Colonel. Be careful" she whispered as he left. She was worried. For both of her friends.
Jack knocked on the door of the isco room; just to be sure Sam was in it.
"Who is it?" Sam's weary voice came.
"Jack."
"Oh. Come in." He nodded to the guard to stay outside the room. He stood against the wall as Jack unlocked the door and opened it. Slowly stepping inside, the guard closed the door behind him.
"Hey Carter. How you doing?"
"As well as can be expected when I'm locked in a room all alone with some alien inside my head" she replied.
"What's the bad news?" Sam smiled. How could he always do that to her. Always make her smile, even in the worst of situations. He sat down on the bed she was already laying on. She sat up next to him.
"Why did you come in here? You know it's a risk" Sam told him.
"I know. A risk I'm willing to take. Sam, when a member of my team is sick or injured, and especially when it's you, I'm always going to be there. Even if it is a hazard for me, I don't care. It's important that you recover Sam. I hate to see you like this. It's hard. For both of us." Sam smiled gratefully.
"I know. Thank you for being here for me Jack. I really appreciate it. I do. Thank you" Sam kissed his cheek and smiled. "You better go."
"Why?"
"Because if you stay in here much longer, and I look at you, my mind is gonna go all sorts of places. If you get what I mean?"
"Yeah. I think I do. Ok then. I'll go. But I'm coming back tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the..."
"Ok. I get the picture" Sam interrupted and put her finger over his mouth.
"Ok. See ya then."
"Yeah. Bye" Sam sighed. He was leaving her. She would be alone again. He smiled and then kissed her. A full kiss, on the lips. She smiled again as he separated their lips before she had a chance to say anything and got up. He smiled back at her and knocked on the door for the guard to open it.
'Bye' Sam mouthed to him as he left.
Another week went slowly by. Doctor Fraiser worked non-stop to find a cure. Sam was bored silly in the isco room. And Jack came to visit her every day. Slowly but surely, their visits got longer. One day, Janet was working just as hard as ever, when it hit her.
"Oh my God! Nurse! Get Dr. Jackson in here! Stat!" She yelled. The nurse nodded and raced off to find Daniel.
"What is it?" he asked as he ran into the Infirmary a few minutes later.
"I think I've got it."
A few hours later, her and Daniel had figured out the cure. Daniel didn't reallydoanything, but just sort of stood by and passed things to Janet when she asked him to. But he felt proud that he had helped a little bit. Janet would have called for Jack to help her, but she knew he was visiting Sam. Daniel and Janet ran to her isco room, bearing the cure for her. Bursting in the room, they puffed and finally regained their breath.
"What is it Janet?" Sam asked.
"I did it. I found the cure."
"Yes! I told you!" Jack said excitedly.
"Wait a minute Jack. We don't if it works yet" Daniel told him.
"Oh. Well it will."
"I don't know that for sure yet Colonel. Sam. Do you want to do this?" Janet asked her.
"Of course I do. What do I have to do?"
"Drink this" Janet told her, holding out the test tube with the substance in it. Sam took it. She looked Jack uncertainly. He nodded. She smiled.
"Ok. Here goes." She swallowed the clear substance. Sending a shooting pain to her head, she shuddered.
"You ok?"
"Hurts" she managed.
"That good?"
"I don't know Colonel. I don't know. Sam. How does it feel now?" Janet queried. Sam nodded.
"Ok. Yeah. I feel fine. Is that a good thing?"
"I think so. What about your thoughts? Do they seem intercepted?" Daniel questioned.
"No. No, my thoughts feel just great" Sam replied, directing a smile to Jack.
"Are you sure?Everythingfeels ok?"
"Yes Janet.Everythingfeels fine" Sam assured. Jack rested his hand on her shoulder. She lent her head on him.
"Good to have you back Sam" he said.
"It's great to be back. I love you Jack" she told him, not bothered by Daniel and Janet being in the room.
"I love you too Sam."
///Finish//
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