Still Under the Weather
Still Under the Weather
by
Louise
TITLE: Still Under the Weather
AUTHOR: Louise
EMAIL: louc14@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: There But For the Grace of God, Point of View.
SEASON / SEQUEL:third season.
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: Sam's heart begins to heal with a little help from a friend.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis and S&J Relationship Archive. Any others puhhhlease ask.
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission. The song "Still Under the Weather" written by Skip Ewing, L.E. White and Michael White, sung by Shania Twain and can be found on hr first self-titled album.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi everyone, long time no see! I felt like writing and actually finishing another fanfic, so here it is. By the way, just sending out best wishes to Shania Twain and Mutt Lange on the birth of their first son, Asia.
"My first lesson in losing love was you
Learning to live with your memory was number two
And I can't lie, baby
I still cry sometimes
But I've come along way
Towards gettin' you out of my mind."
The rain continued to pour down, hitting the windowpane with a dull thud, reminding Sam of a faint and irregular heartbeat. She couldn't hear hers anymore because HE had broken her heart and shattered her soul.
She couldn't even bring herself to mention his name. Maybe she had forgotten it? Wjo could blame her after what HE had put her through? Afterall, noone at the SGC would dare to mention HIM in front of her. "It might upset her."
HE always said that he'd never hurt her, that HE'D never break her heart. Well, here she was crying by a window, looking outside to a man in a brown leather jacket attempting to cross the road.
It was ironic. In the movies it always seemed to pour down during a funeral or when a relationship came to an end. However, Sam was living in the real world where she was suffering and there was noone who could heal her pain, noone except herself.
As she looked back out the window, she saw the man still attempting to cross the very wet and very busy street.Funnyshe thought,that guy looks a bit like Colonel O'Neill.She squinted a little and then realised it was Colonel O'Neill. The leather jacket, greying hair and khaki pants, his obvious trademark. Actually, not that she'd admit it but, she was enjoying seeing him trying to cross the busy street, trying to get to her... as soon as she'd had the thought she dismissed it. Why would she even think such a thing?You know why Sam. Because you hoped it was HIM.she told herself.
When Sam looked out again, the figure was gone and at that moment, her door bang rang. And rang and rang again.That is more definately Colonel O'Neill.She thought. "OK, OK, I'm coming." She opened the door to find a very wet and not-so-happy looking Jack O'Neill. "Colonel O'Neill. What a pleasant surprise! Is there something I can do for you?" Sam asked, desperately trying to act cheerful.
"Well Carter, inviting me in would be nice." Jack replied, a puddle forming at his feet.
"Certainly Colonel, come on in." She opened the door wider, allowing him enterance. As he passed by, he shook his head, sending droplets of water in every which-way direction, especially at Sam.
"Ah Colonel? I could get you a towel you know."
"No need Carter." O'Neill replied, making his way into the living room. As he was about to sit down on the sofa, Sam insisted.
From her position at the linen closet she asked, "what happened to your pants?"
"My pants?" Jack asked while looking down and swore to himself. "Had a little accident with a passing truck and dirty gutter water."
"Oh lucky you." Sam stated as she passed him a towel to dry up with and one to sit on.
"So..."
"So..."
"So what can I do for you Colonel?"
"Sam, would you quit with the formalities, my name isn't 'Colonel' you know." Jack protested.
Sam looked down, feeling choked all of a sudden as she remembered HIM saying that.
"I can't Sir, it... it's not appropriate." She stuttered. Too many bad memories of HIM associated with that name.
"I'm not him Sam. You can trust me." He pleaded. If he didn't convince her know that she could trust him, their team would never be the same. Sam looked up into his brown eyes, the same brown eyes she'd been looking at a week ago when HE told her HE had to go. But she realised that they weren't the same eyes. This Jack's were more considerate and honest and Sam could tell that he was trying to repair their relationship.
"I'm sorry Sir... Jack. Bad habits die hard, I suppose." She smiled sheepishly. "Anyway Jack, is there something you wanted?" she asked again, taking a seat opposite him.
"Actually there is something. I know this is going to sound out of line for a CO to be asking his 2IC, but I'm not asking as your Commanding Officer Sam. I'm asking as a friend, Jack to his ..." he hesistated a little, "... friend, Sam."
"What is it Jack?" Sam asked growing a little impatient. It wsa very unlike O'Neillto beat-around-the-bush, considering the Colonel Jack O'Neill she knew was less than subtle.
"I was wondering if... you wanted to talk. Over dinner that is." He asked finally, fideling with the towel he was previously drying his hair with.
"Talk?" Sam asked, raising a rather sceptical eyebrow looking very much like a confused Teal'c.
"Yes, talk."
"About what?" She asked.
"Anything you want." Jack replied, now twisting the towel. To Sam, he seemed very tense. Sam couldn't help but wonder if he had an ulterior motive.It's not everyday a sane Colonel O'Neill comes knocking on your door Sam, in the rain no less!she told herself and as she looked at the Colonel's face she was about to answer yes. But then Major Carter took control with her rational thinking and her logical concepts.
"Thankyou Colonel, I appreciate the offer, but I really don't think that's necessary." Sam replied after much internate debate.
"Are you sure? I mean after everything that's gne on recently, I thought maybe It'd be best for me to talk to you."
"I'm positive Colonel. i think it'd be best for us all if we just put it all behind us." Sam answered, swallowing deeply, trying to fight the tears that threatened to take control.Get a hold of yourself Sam. Jesus, you think your the onlyone who's ever had a broken heart?
"If you're sure then Carter..." Jack trailed off, as he stood, placing the towel on the coffee table in front of him.
"I'm sure Colonel."
"Jack," He corrected, attempting to make eye contact with her but she refused and kept her eyes focused on the coffee table in front of her.
"Yes Sir." she rose also and escorted him to the door.
"Well, if you do need to talk to someone, you know where I am." He offered one last time.
Sam opened the door, "thank you sir, I'll remember that."
"OK, see you later Carter." They slipped back into the roles of 'Sir' and 'Carter' again, so easily.
"Bye Sir." Sam watched her CO walk down the corridor until he turned the corner and then she closed the door. She walked into her bedroom as if in a trace amd laid down on her bed. The tears came slowly, she'd thought she'd cried them all. Apparently not.
"Why didn't you tell me?" the words echoed in her head.
"I'm sorry Sam. I thought I could never go home again." HE replied.
"Stay. Stay with me, please? I'll do anything." She begged.
"Ok. I love you Sam."
"Oh I love you Jack."Wait, this isn't the way it went.
"This isn't right, that's not what you said Jack." She cried, distorted shadows circling her, obscuring her vision. "You left me, you left me all alone and broke my heart."
"No I didn't Sam, I love you." HE said, trying to hug her.
"No, you left, you never loved my. No, don't touch me." She pushed him off and all of a sudden, he vanished around her hands. "No, no, NO!" Sam cried, jumping up and screaming. She was crying again and she hadn't even realised it. She'd cried herself to sleep and dream of HIM again.
"No, I can't go on like this." she promptly made a decision.
Sometimes your memory still gets
the best of me
But that lonely ache in my heart
Ain't as bad as it used to be
And sometimes the way I'm feelin'
Inside doesn't show
But I know
I'll get over you, I've just got a long
way to go.
"Ok, Ok ,I'm coming." Yawned a very unhappy Jack O'Neill. Being woken from a very needed slumber by an insistant ringing of a doorbell, Jack opened the door. "Whaddya want?" He demanded.
"Oh I'm sorry Sir, I shouldn't have come..." Sam cried, turning away.
"Carter! Wait, sorry." He brabbed her arm and pulled her inside, out of the cold night air.
"I apologise Sir, I know it's late and after what happened this past week, you probably need the rest but I just needed to get out." Sam said, pacing the length of Jack's living room.
"It's ok Sam. Is there something on your mind?" Jack asked, taking a seat on his sofa.
"Is that offer to talk still open?" She finally said, turning to face Jack.
"Sure Carter. what did you want to talk about?"
"Oh come on Jack. You know what I'm talking about." Sam answered, her voice rising slightly.
"OK Sam. Geez, calm down. Yes I know what you're talking about however, I was under the impression that you didn't WANT to talk about it." Jack retorted.
All of a sudden, Sam felt tired. Emotionally and physically drained from the weeks events. She sat down beside Jack and shook her head. "I'm so tired Jack. I'm so tired of pretending that it didn't happen and I'm sick of putting on a happy act so everyone won't know how much it really hurts."
"Let it all out Sam, it's not healthy to hold it back." Jack rubbed her back, attempting to soothe what must be a very difficult situation for her. He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling at the moment, or what she must've gone through the past week.
"When he came through I couldn't believe what I saw, I don't think anyone could. I mean it was you, but it wasn't you. Same eyes, same face, same smile. And he loved me. I've never really had that before. And then, as we got closer, and our relationship progressed, I fell in love with him. Jack, do you have any idea of what it feels like to be absolutely happy one minute and then feel your heart break the next?
"When we got the mirror operational and... my walls tumbled. I never imagined that he would leave, but he did and he broke my heart. Do you have any idea what it's like Jack, to have to look at the person who you loved so much and have them leave you, day after day?" she finished, tears freely flowing now.
"No, I don't, but I can imagine. But Sam surely you must've realised that there would've been someone else, another person in his reality?" Jack said softly.
"Ofcourse, I was just so sure that we couldn't repair the quantum mirror and he would stay. I was so blind that I didn't even comprehend, that if he did stay he would experience Entropic Cascade Failure."
"Look Sam, how about a cup of coffee. Something to calm you down and warm you up huh?" Jack offered, slowly standing up.
"That'd be great Jack." Sam replied. As Jack turned to walk into the kitchen she called, "Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you." She smiled, the first genuine since the alternate Jack left.
Jack opened the door for Sam as she was leaving, to find the sun rising and a beautiful rainbow in the early morning sky. "Thankyou once again Jack, for everything." She leant forward and kissed him softly on the cheek.
"You're welcome Sam. And remember, I'm here if you need me." He smiled.
As Sam drove home, she realised she'd been wrong. There was someone who loved her. Jack loved her enough to return to her in his reality and HER Jack loved her enough to stay with her throughout the night and help her to heal. HER Jack loved her? It gave her a warm feeling, even though he hadn't said it and they hadn't even dared to start a relationship, she felt his affection in everything he did for her.
She still had a long road to travel before she could really trust again and fully give her heart to someone, but Sam was convinced.
She was still under the weather, but she was over the storm.
I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm
I still miss the shelter
Of your loving arms
but what I thought would kill me
Has just made me strong
I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm.
THE END.
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