If We Kissed
If We Kissed
by Lola
TITLE: If we kissed
AUTHOR: Lola
EMAIL: pandora@softcom.net
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: Minor for Message in a Bottle and There but for the Grace of God
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 3 - set after Fair Game
RATING: PG13
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: A song gets Sam thinking
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam and Jack
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: After all the discussion on the list about what songs reminded us of S&J and after listening to this song, it just popped into my head.
~ Denotes lyrics. Song 'What Would Happen' from the 'Blurring the Edges' CD by Meredith Brooks, used without permission, no copyright infringement was intended.
God I hated these events. Give me lab research or a mission off plane, even a sandy planet, over formal events. Oh I know they're important for moral, let the troops blow off some steam, have good food, some fun and lots of alcohol. But they usually degenerated from the formal party to a drunken brawl. I stood there talking to the rest of SG-1 and Janet. A Captain came up to Janet and asked her to dance, on her way to the dance floor she leaned close and whispered, "Graham's coming up on your six, better do something quick if you don't want to dance with him." She knew I wasn't interested in the Lieutenant and had teased me about his having a crush on me.
I quickly scanned our little group, Daniel and Teal'c where deep in conversation, Daniel explaining some obscure earth custom, no help there. My eyes locked with the Colonels. "Want to dance, sir?" I could tell he heard the plea in my voice and saw the desperation in my eyes.
He smiled and I was expecting some sarcastic remark, but instead, "I'd be honored, Major," was what he said, no trace of mockery in his tone. As we turned, he placed his hand on the small of my back to lead me to the dance floor. We almost ran right into Graham.
"Lieutenant," Jack nodded to Graham as he led me to the dance floor.
The lights dim and the first strains of a slow song start as he pulls me into his arms. I look up at him and say, "Thank you, sir."
"Any time, Major." He breathes into my ear, sending a shiver down my spine, before pulling back to look me straight in the eye. Our eyes locked as the lyrics start.
~
Electricity, eye to eye
Hey don't I know you
I can't speak
~
Talk about prophetic lyrics, I can feel the sparks between us. Do I know him? Sometimes I wonder. Unable to hold his gaze I lower my head to his shoulder. His hand on my back pulls me closer still. I'm helpless to protest, knowing we are on dangerous ground but enjoying the feel of him so close to me. My hand slips to the back of his neck.
~
Stripped my sense
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
~
I can't even make sense of this, now there's the truth of the situation. The attraction's mutual, of that I'm certain, but there are so many obstacles. Not the least of which are our positions in the SGC, Colonel and Major, CO and 2IC. Another is my propensity for being attracted to the lunatic fringe, as I've dubbed it. Logically, I know he's dangerous, he's been through a lot emotionally. He's opened up a lot since I first met him, but I know there is a lot of emotional baggage he's still carrying around. Emotional, I'm drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. There is just something about him that causes me to want to get closer.
~
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
~
What would it be like? No virus just us. Stop, I tell myself, don't go there. I feel his breath on my ear, erotic and arousing. He leans closer and whispers, "Sam?"
"Sir?" I reply my voice husky.
"I asked why didn't you want to dance with Lieutenant Simmons?"
He had to be kidding. Who in their right mind would want to dance with a kid when he was in the same room? But I couldn't tell him that. "He has a crush on me and I don't want to encourage him," I tell him, which is true.
"Hmmm," is all he murmurs in my ear sending another shiver down my spine.
~
The room is spinning out of control
Act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand
~
If the room isn't spinning, it should be. I feel almost lightheaded, dazed. He pulls back to look into my eyes. I feel like a deer caught in oncoming headlights. His gaze is so intense, boring into me. Does he know? Can he guess what I'm feeling? Do I even know? I want this moment to go on, for the song to never end. Emotional turmoil, churning need, desire are they visible? His fingers twine with mine as his other hand trails slowly up and down my back.
~
Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral, moral man
You throw it away, no question
Will I pretend I'm innocent
~
There's no ring on either of our fingers, but it's still forbidden. Is that part of the attraction? Is it that why we flirt, we know it's safe, we know there is a line we can't cross? What happens if we're tempted to cross the line? What if we throw it away? I feel him so close to me. I feel the ripple of his muscles as he moves, shifting with the music, drawing me ever closer. Closer and closer the moth to the flame. Desire floods me; I bury my head deeper into his neck, my lips almost touching him. I feel him shiver. His hand stops trailing down my back resting at the small of my back, caressing me.
~
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
What would happen if we kissed
~
I'm tempted, so very tempted, to slip my hand from the back of his neck to his head and pull him into a kiss. The lyrics taunt me. Mock me. What would he do? His breathing is harsh in my ear, almost ragged. I can almost feel his lips on mine, his tongue trusting into my mouth. Would he run? Would he stay? I feel like I'm melting in a pool of desire.
~
I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away
~
It's a loosing battle, I know, for both of us. I've played it over and over in my head. When did it start? Was it the moment we met and the sparks flew? Was it after I proved that I could hold my own with the boys? Was it when I tried to seduce him while under the influence of the alien virus? Was it Daniel's 'You and Sam were engaged to be married' after he came back from the alternate reality? I know at some point I stopped thinking of it as a possibility and more of an eventuality. Was that part of the attraction, the inevitability of this? The knowledge that at some point we knew we'd cross the line. The walls crumble a little more the closer we get, the struggle gets harder, the flame closer.
~
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth,
If we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth,
If we kissed
If we kissed
~
As the chorus plays he leads me out to the balcony. I follow willingly. He murmurs my name with a shuddering breath as his fingers cup my face and his lips descend to meet mine. His tongue slips past my lips as I melt into him.
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