Think before you speak
Think before you speak
by Floopygirl
Summary: Sam invites herself along to a guys' night out with her team. Jello and more. Set post-Ascension. Fluff.
Category: Humor, Romance
Episode Related: 503 Ascension
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-02-18
A/N: This started off with the intentions of being a really short piece, then took off of its own accord. Many thanks to Jack who betaed the last few chaps for me: you're a star! Oh, one important fact: I've never been jello wrestling, despite my best efforts I haven't talked to anyone who's been jello wrestling: this is all the product of my (terrifying) imagination. Apologies for any inaccuracies
All feedback, especially constructive criticism, is gratefully received.
*****
Chapter One: Late night conversations
Sam sat slumped at her desk, bloodshot eyes closed as she tried to pretend to sleep for a few minutes. Her shoulders were screaming, both from the demands of her last mission and the hours spent in front of her computer terminal since returning. While she knew she'd been stiffer and more tired in the past, she hadn't felt this despondent for a long time and she didn't know quite how to rectify the situation.
Her team had shared a particularly grueling mission schedule recently, which had culminated in a simple exploratory mission turning into a mud bath. They'd trekked ten clicks north of the gate so that Daniel could look at some ruins the UAV had spotted, only to discover that there were no writings or signs of life when they arrived there. While Daniel had still managed to wax enthusiastically about the rough shelters, the rest of the team had been distinctly unimpressed. And then it had started to rain.
The pleasant hike they had experienced on their way out had turned into a grueling endurance test as they slipped and slid their way back to the gate, the mud clinging everywhere. Sam could still feel it squelching between her toes. Her sense of relief at finally nearing the gate had been so great that she had sped up, desperate to reach home, only to trip and fall head first into a patch of particularly boggy ground. Only Teal'c had offered her a hand up, admittedly with one eyebrow quirked; the other two jokers had been too busy laughing, Daniel particularly delighted that it hadn't been him to fall in for once.
When they finally stepped through the gate, Sam had wanted to punch someone. Her team mates may have been soaked and filthy up to their thighs but she was caked in mud from head to toe, with spiky hair and murky streaks decorating her face. The quirk of General Hammond's lips and the amusement of the airmen standing by had done nothing to soothe her temper. Reminding herself to breathe deeply she'd headed down to the showers, only to find that the men had already beaten her to it. By the time they'd finished up and let her in, the stinging needles of water beating on her back were only luke-warm and were rapidly cooling.
So she had decided to rebel. General Hammond had granted them a week's downtime, with the sole condition that they all caught up with at least some of the backlog of paperwork cluttering their desks. It had been her turn to smirk as Jack grumbled, being the one who was significantly behind with his work. She chose to forgo the impending fireworks between her COs and slip home, into a steaming bath scented with her favourite essential oils. Lying there, she resolved to take it easy this break and really relax properly. Which is why she hadn't headed back in till mid-afternoon the next day.
She groaned softly to herself and opened her eyes; maybe she hadn't quite got the hang of this relaxation thing. Only to jump in shock as she saw her CO sitting directly opposite her, a grin on his face as he fiddled with something he'd picked up off her desk.
She felt the blood run into her cheeks with mortification at being found `asleep' at her desk again, and she made a grab for the object in his hand. "Geez Sir, you frightened me half to death! Don't you have anything better to do than sneak into my office?"
His grin merely widened as he saw her flush. "Now is that any way to talk to your commanding officer, Carter? I was on my way to bed after a hard day's work," she snorted in disbelief, "And just wanted to check on the morale of the troops before turning in. Not that I was hoping to find my troops here of course, since apparently everyone's more up to date with my paperwork than I am. Teal'c is in his quarters, surrounded by candles and doing his jaffa thing and Danny's lab is empty: even he's gone home for a break. Perhaps you can imagine my amazement at finding my 2IC both on base and oblivious to the world."
He leant in towards her and swiped the doohickey back, amusement lurking in his voice. "So would you care to explain to me exactly what you're doing here while you're supposed to be on downtime, Carter? And what the hell this thing is anyway, it looks a little tacky for an alien device."
And she'd thought her cheeks couldn't redden any more. "I am on downtime, I didn't come in till after lunch!" flew out in one jumbled rush of air. She paused and took a deep breath, lips quirking. "And that's an executive toy my brother gave me last Christmas." She shrugged. "We've never been a close family, finding suitable presents can be hard."
Unbelievably, Jack gave the toy a look of disdain and put it right back where he'd found it. Only the galaxy's finest for this colonel. "Carter, I would tell you to get a life but we already know that doesn't work. I suppose I should just be glad that you're only doing twelve hour shifts."
Sam glanced down at her watch and was horrified to see that it was after midnight. Maybe she did need a life. "No Sir, you're right. I had no idea it was so late. Maybe we could all have a team night tomorrow or something - pizza and movies round my place?"
It was Jack's turn to flush and his voice became unusually hesitant. "Well, normally that would be great but, well, tomorrow Danny, T-man and I already have plans. Kinda a guys' night. You'd be welcome to join us but, anyway, I don't really think it's your sort of thing."
Sam's instinctive reaction was pain, but she determinedly pushed that aside into irritation. There he was, telling her she needed to socialise more, but he didn't seem to want to spend a casual evening out in a group together. She'd thought that even after everything that had happened, they were still friends. "Come on Sir, you know I can out-drink and outshoot most men. Now you don't want me to come out and do a guy thing? What exactly do you have planned that I can't come along for?"
Jack looked at his 2IC in surprise: while nothing she'd said was untrue, she wouldn't normally use that tone of voice with him. Which prompted him to put an edge in his voice. Plus, he didn't exactly want to admit where they were going; while he wasn't ashamed precisely, Sam's high opinion meant a lot to him and he wasn't sure how she'd react to his confession. "We're actually going to watch some jello-wrestling, Major. Sure you don't want to join us?"
Sam couldn't believe her ears. Of all the stupid, misogynistic pursuits... "Sure, why not?". She really hadn't meant to say that. Oh crap.
That pretty much summed it up for Jack too, but he wasn't about to back down. "Great, looking forward to it. Pick you up at eight?" He studied Sam's face intently, wondering exactly how she was going to get herself out of this one.
Apparently she wasn't. Her heart sank as she considered her options but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of calling her bluff. Enough of playing the meek little major; she'd decided that she was going to rebel and damn it, this was a pretty convincing way of doing it. "I can't wait. I'd better be off though: guess I'm going to be needing my beauty sleep for tomorrow." With that she nodded and stood up, gathering her belongings to head home. She prayed that she'd wake up soon and find herself sprawled out over her desk or even better, back home in bed. No such luck.
She was halfway out the door when a voice called after her, stopping her in her tracks. "Ah Major? Don't forget your bikini for tomorrow night; I'm sure you could whip any of those bimbos in there."
Sam's whole body whipped round and she caught Jack's gaze with her own: if looks could kill... His relaxed, slouchy pose radiated amusement at her situation and the shit-eating grin on his face spoke volumes about his feelings. Then she caught herself and swept out the room, not deigning to reply to his comment. She was going to show him that she could enjoy the night if it killed her! Unfortunately that was seeming more and more likely as time went by, but it would all be fine. She had a PhD in astrophysics but more importantly, she had a girlfriend who would give her all the advice she needed. Sam was definitely paying a visit to Janet in the morning!
Jack sprawled out on his stool, his mind blank with shock for a minute. Just when he thought his major had lost her ability to surprise him; it looked like she'd be going along with them after all! As he headed back to his quarters he made a mental note to give Danny and T-man a heads up in the morning. Their plans might have been altered but this was certainly going to make for a much more interesting evening!
*****
Chapter Two: The morning after
A myriad of scenarios flickered through Sam's dreams that night. She was sitting in a clearing filled with crude huts, built from roughly-made clay bricks; lying in her bath breathing in the scent of tea tree and peppermint; sitting on a plastic sheet in the infirmary while Janet tried to give her a thorough examination through the mud which clung to her skin. Then she and her teammates were gathered in her back yard, standing round a slip'n slide, while Jack egged her on and insisted it was her turn. Instead of water running down it from a hose it was covered in thick, gloopy mud that smelt sulphurous and belched out bubbles of gas. "No!" she tried to protest, "I'm not going on there. It smells bad and I'll get my BDUs dirty."
Her CO laughed. "Well, you should have worn your bikini then. There's no backing out now, Carter, there's only mud. Unless, that is, you'd rather take a jello slide?" With a click of his fingers the mud disappeared and was replaced by red jello. Red jello? Something wasn't right there - she only liked blue jello. Sam glanced around her only to see the mocking sneers on her friends' faces and to hear them laughing...
Sam's eyes flew open in horror. The jello, her refusal to back down... the events of the night before flooded back to her. She slumped back on her pillows and closed her eyes while groping around on the nightstand for her alarm clock. After a crash that she hoped was just her book flying onto the floor, she found what she was looking for and, with a triumphant flourish, held it before of her eyes. Oh yeah, they were still closed: typical. She reluctantly opened them again and was horrified to see that it was after eleven; she had to go see Janet and work out what on earth she was going to do. Possibly more importantly, she had to figure out what you to an club where semi-naked females wrestle in dessert-stuffs. Definitely time to get up.
*****
Jack woke up that morning with a huge grin on his face, though it took him a moment to work out why. Wow, there it was: his extremely sexy egghead of a 2IC had invited herself along on their guys' night out. They'd been planning this one for a while; after popping round to Sam's one evening with pizza and a movie only to find she was spending the evening in with an alien - Jack still found that one hard to take - Teal'c had suggested jello-wrestling as an alternative. Only once they'd reached the club had they realised it was shut on Sundays: apparently it was immoral to watch hot young things writhing in jello on a holy day, though it was OK for the rest of the week. Go figure. Anyway, they'd agreed to go back next time they were on downtime; Jack had been a little skeptical and Danny certainly wasn't keen, but faced with the T-man's enthusiastic face, how could they refuse? He leapt out of bed: paperwork not withstanding, this was going to be a good day.
*****
As Sam approached the base she felt the familiar prickles of nerves begin to build up. It was a perfect spring day with pale blue skies, so she had chosen to take her Indian out that morning instead of the Volvo. The trees were budding new leaves and crocuses were beginning to peek out in people's front yards. Still, all this beauty on display couldn't distract her from her concerns: namely explaining to Janet exactly what she had managed to get herself into, and running into the colonel on base before she'd worked out a plan. Pulling up at the facility she managed to greet the airmen on the duty, take the elevator down into the mountain and change from her leathers into her BDUs without interrupting her mental catalogue of her wardrobe. Physics be damned; for once she had something far more important to think about than her naquadah reactor!
Wandering into the infirmary, Sam was relieved to see that it was relatively empty. A couple of members of SG-9 appeared to be finishing their post-mission physicals, but Janet's staff were highly trained and Sam knew that her friend should be able to sneak a few minutes away.
"Is Dr Fraiser available?" she asked one of the nurses, who nodded towards Janet's office. Janet was sitting behind her desk, surrounded by a pile of charts and intently studying at least three in front of her. The brunette looked up with a smile.
"Sam, I've been hoping you'd stop by. I've been working on these charts all morning and some kind of nutrition is definitely required. Are you up for some lunch?"
Sam smiled back. "Sure, though in my case I'm afraid it'll be breakfast - I had quite a lie-in this morning. I need to talk to you though - is there any chance of slipping off base for an hour or so?"
Janet shook her head ruefully. "I'm sorry Sam, I've a report due for the General on the long-term effects of gate travel and I really need to finish it by this evening. We could take a couple of trays down to your lab; we should have some privacy there." Sam agreed and they headed down to food central.
Sam looked at the food on offer with disdain. Orange goop that looked almost like the mud from her dream or the kitchens' infamous salmon and banana surprise. She took a salad and a tuna sandwich, then turned to examine the dessert selection. Her usual glass of blue jello just didn't seem as attractive as usual but that chocolate cake... Mmm. She reached out to snag herself a portion when a voice from behind her made her jump.
"So Carter, the jello not seeming so appealing today then?" Sam turned around to see Jack sitting the wrong way round on a chair behind her, a huge smirk plastered across his face.
"Oh I don't know Sir, I wouldn't want to have too much of a good thing." Sam quipped back, fighting a smile herself. Her nerves began to seem groundless; no matter what happened she knew that her team would never put her in a situation which could cause any real distress, though they probably wouldn't mind embarrassing her a little! And after all, she had wanted a bit more excitement. "Are you still picking me up this evening?"
"Of course, Carter. Wouldn't miss it for the world!" With a final waggle of his eyebrows, Jack turned back to his lunch and left Sam to field the raised ones of her friend.
"So Sam, another team evening?" Janet asked slyly, obviously trying to read more than that into the situation. `Why doesn't she just nudge me in the ribs?', Sam found herself thinking wryly.
"Of course Janet. What else could you possibly be thinking?" she asked back, chuckling to herself. Janet's eyes widened when she heard that giggle; she thrust some money at the cashier and grabbed Sam's elbow, dragging her out of the commissary and down to the lab, trays wobbling with the speed at which they left. Janet tapped her heel against the floor in the elevator, glaring at the other airmen who were preventing her from having the chance to find out what was going on. Finally they reached the lab, whereupon Janet closed the door firmly and turned to stare at Sam.
"So? What exactly is going on, Samantha?" she demanded.
Sam just laughed. "Oh come on Janet, I know that you have a teenage daughter but you don't have to pull out the Mom act on me!" Janet just glared. "It's nothing really, I just agreed to go out with the guys tonight. Just a team evening you know, to practice spending time so that when we're locked up in a dank prison cell together, we know how to handle the situation and not kill each other. Harmless fun."
This time the eyes narrowed. "And what exactly constitutes harmless fun in this case, Sam? It sounds like more than just beer and pizza to me!"
Despite Sam's best efforts she could feel her cheeks warm. "More like beer and jello?" Her head dropped as she studied her feet closely. "Beer and jello wrestling?"
There were several seconds of silence during which Sam desperately wished she could clean the smudges off her boots. `Nothing like some displacement activity to avoid the issue,' she thought to herself. Then to her utter relief, she heard her friend begin to laugh.
"Sam Carter at a jello-wrestling club - now that I would like to see!" Janet exclaimed, brown eyes filled with mirth. And then stopped dead; "Not that I'm coming along, of course!"
Valiantly giving it her best puppy-dog eyes, Sam replied, "No? But you're almost an honourary member of SG-1, you've certainly patched us up more than enough times. I'm sure you'd be more than welcome..."
Janet shook her head. "Nope, sorry. I have a cast-iron excuse: a teenage daughter who's grounded and I know she'll sneak out given half the chance. This is your evening out and your chance to have some fun, finally."
Ignoring the pointed last comment, Sam sighed. "What's happened this time? Is it boys again?"
"Not boys, just a small matter of curfew violations... because a certain young man keeps dropping her off at home too late." Janet groaned. "Teenage girls and teenage hormones. Such an awkward combination! Anyway, we'd better tuck into our food, because I'm due back in the infirmary in ten."
As they dug into their lunches, the only noises coming from the lab were the sounds of chewing and an occasional snigger from a certain brunette.
*****
Chapter Three: Last minute chaos
Sticking to her mission statement of rebellion, Sam had only spent a couple of hours working in her lab before heading home to prepare for her evening out. By six she was lying in a bubble bath, having decided that she needed all the soothing she could get. Despite her earlier bravado, her nerves were once again beginning to bother her. Twenty minutes later she had just added more water to her bath when the phone rang.
Sam's first thought was to let it ring, but she realised it could easily be someone from the base calling about a problem with the gate. "When you're the foremost expert on the world's most valuable piece of alien technology, downtime never means downtime," she grumbled to herself. Then, realising that the phone was still ringing and she really ought to get it before the answering machine took over, she jumped out the tub, bubbles flying, and made a run for it.
She reached the phone in her room on the last ring, gasping. "Carter," she bit out.
"Yes, that would be you," an amused and very familiar voice replied. "Did I interrupt something, Major? You sound a little out of breath."
Sam stood in the middle of her bedroom, watching a puddle form under her feet as she dripped onto the carpet. She looked around for anything she could use to dry herself, but her toweling robe was just out of reach. `Damn him for calling right now,' she thought to herself. "I was just... finishing some cleaning, sir. Is everything OK on base?"
"Your cleaning must be thrilling," he smirked, drawing out the last word. "To my knowledge everything's fine Carter, no problems. Well, except for one minor hitch with our plans."
"Oh?" she managed to get out. Deciding that she was ridiculous to be shivering in her own home when there was no need, she made a lunge for her dressing gown but ended up sending the base of her phone flying off her dressing table and crashing onto the floor. Things falling to the ground seemed to be the theme for the day! Groaning to herself she gave up on her dignity for the time being and pulled the robe around herself.
"Carter?" Jack asked, eyebrows raised. What he'd intended to be a brief heads up was turning into quite the phone call. The heavy breathing, the crashes coming from the other end of the line... no, that really wasn't a helpful place for his mind to go. Though he'd dearly love to know what his 2IC was doing on the other end of the line.
By now her voice was definitely sounding strangled. "Everything's fine sir. You were saying?"
"Well, Danny came into work this afternoon and was quite caught up in his translations. Something to do with SG-9. Anyway, he decided to get as much done on base as possible and not head home. Since the commissary's food is, well the commissary's food, he suggested we all eat together as we're going out anyway. I said we'd meet at the restaurant at seven thirty, so I'll be round to pick you up at oh-seven hundred. Okay?"
Sam looked at her alarm clock and groaned audibly this time. "Sir, I'm not quite ready to go out yet. Couldn't you have called me earlier?"
Jack was beginning to get some extremely distracting ideas of what Sam had been doing when he called. In the hope that she'd just come out and admit what she'd really been doing, he decided to push her a little further. "Sam, you've saved the world countless times by coming up with one of your doohickeys in a limited time. I can't believe it takes you more than half an hour to get ready for an evening out!"
And there it was again, a definite challenge. Sam wondered exactly how far she'd go that evening to prove to her CO that she wasn't just a bookish workaholic with no social life. "Of course I can sir. I'll see you in thirty minutes." With that she slammed the phone down and tried to remember what she decided on that afternoon when she'd been pondering what to wear.
Jack smiled to himself as he heard the click of her phone. He'd bet anything that Sam would be looking immaculate when he arrived at her house later that evening. Of course, she'd never forgive him if she realised that he'd deliberately left calling her till the last minute, but there was no reason for her to find that out. He cheerily wandered through his house, whistling and looking for his truck keys, with little idea of the chaos that was unfolding chez Sam.
Meanwhile Sam was staring with narrowed eyes at the growing pile of clothes lying on her bed. She'd show him getting ready in ... crap, twenty minutes. Time to stop panicking and to start making decisions. She decided to go all out: if she was going to spend the evening watching her team mates pant over scantily clad twenty-somethings, swinging their hair and shaking their curves, she was damn well going to look hot while they did it! With a conscious effort not to examine the logic behind that statement, she grabbed some clothes from the pile and pulled them on. She mournfully fingered the strands of her hair clinging to her neck, but there was nothing she could do rescue a military haircut. A spray of perfume, some gold chain-drop earrings, makeup, more makeup, too much makeup... crap. As Sam stared at herself in the mirror she was forced to admit that she had gone a little overboard, but as she started frantically for something to remove it with she heard the bell ring. Oh well. She'd have probably smudged it beyond repair anyway.
As Sam opened the door to him, Jack felt a wave of heat rush through him. His delectable major was wearing a pair of skintight leather pants, paired with a turquoise top that, while relatively high-necked, clung to her figure. "Carter."
Jack was dressed in his usual downtime clothes: faded jeans, t-shirt and a leather jacket, but did he fill them out well... Sam saw his eyes darken as he took in her appearance and then he gave her that smile, the one which was all tender eyes and a tiny quirk of his lips. The one he'd given her after the time loops had ended. The one that made her feel warm inside.
"Well, did I make it on time?" she joked nervously.
He resisted the temptation to look her over once more and held her eyes instead. He didn't know what she'd done to them but they looked huge, and those scarlet lips... "I'm actually five minutes early, so you had time to spare. You never fail to impress me, Carter."
Her eyes fell to the ground but she forced them upwards to meet his, a little awkwardly. "I just need to get my jacket sir, so if you want to come in for a second?" As she spoke she turned into the hallway and he was faced with an expanse of creamy back extending almost down to her waist, bisected by only a few delicate straps. He cleared his throat.
"That's OK. I left the engine running so I'll meet you in the truck." As he sat in his ride waiting, Jack asked himself what he was doing. He knew the consequences of anything happening between them, yet he'd just had to push things a little further. He fiddled with the radio for something to do, and tuned a rock station. `At least that ought to break the mood,' he thought to himself.
Sam joined him in the truck after locking up. "So where exactly are we eating, anyway?" she asked, trying to think of some neutral topic.
"There's a burger bar outside of town, just twenty minutes or so. It's nothing particularly special, but I agreed that we'd meet Danny and Teal'c there."
Sam suppressed the urge to ask why they were going there if it wasn't close and didn't have that great food but leaned back into her seat instead, staring out of the window. She'd never figured the Colonel as fan of rock music but she was enjoying listening to the radio station he'd chosen.
The drive passed quickly, Sam lost in thought and Jack only glancing over at her from time to time. Finally they pulled out outside what looked like your typical up-market diner. As they entered, Sam couldn't help but wonder again what the fuss was all about. The seating hostess greeted them, asking if they had a reservation. Jack gave his name and checked that the restaurant had managed to hold a downstairs table for them, seemingly quite concerned. Sam just rolled her eyes, fed up of all the mystery, but walked ahead of him as he steered her with a hand on her elbow.
As they walked down the stairs the basement came into view and Sam's eyes grew huge. Jack couldn't help but laugh at the shock in her eyes: so much for the supercool act she'd been professing all evening. He'd seen that look on her face before when she encountered new alien technology; it was fun to be able to cause it when they were away from work.
A bar stretched across the wall opposite them while semi-circular booths lined the other three. Sam guessed that this was so that everyone had a view of the centre of the room. On a slightly-raised platform there were several clear inflatable paddling pools, walls a couple of feet high, each filled about six inches deep with a different colour of jello.
The waitress behind them waited patiently as they stood still in the doorway, obviously used to this kind of reaction. "Would you like to sit near a pool with a particular colour of jello: red, green...?"
Jack leaned forward slightly, lowering his head towards Sam's neck, so near that he could smell her perfume. Her body froze as she felt his proximity; she wasn't sure what he was up to planning but for the moment she was happy to let him take the lead. She felt his breath waft against her neck as he spoke. "I think the lady prefers the blue," and with that he stepped back, grin on his face, dancing eyes clearly daring her to deny it.
This time Sam had no control over herself as floods of hot colour rushed into her cheeks. `Must stop blushing,' she thought desperately. She scarcely noticed Jack taking the jacket from her shoulders as they came to their booth. Suddenly feeling the cold on her shoulders she returned to motion and scooted round to the middle. Jack followed her lead but left a fairly large gap between them. He figured that his shock tactics were working fairly well in keeping Sam on her toes, but thought it was time to give her a bit of a breather.
*****
Chapter Four: Joviality and Jello Shots
Jack leaned back into the leather seat, smugly contemplating the evening ahead. The room was really quite empty, with only a couple of other tables occupied. Still, the entertainment wouldn't begin for an hour or so, leaving more than enough time for the palace to fill up, and giving him and his team some time to relax and have a couple of drinks. Oh, who was he kidding - the entertainment had begun for him the night before when he got to see his 2IC squirm! Actually he had to admit to himself that there had been minimal squirmage, so to speak - he'd thought that Sam would have felt more out of her depth with the situation than she was showing. Though he wasn't sure why; after all they'd been through and seen, especially on one or two of the planets they'd visited, this was really nothing.
Sam smiled across at Jack, who was oddly quiet and apparently lost in thought. "So, who found this place anyway? I know that you three have had a few guys' nights out, but you managed to keep this remarkably quiet. I would have thought the pictures would have been plastered round the SGC by now!"
Jack returned a grin as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a small camera, dangling it between his fingers. "Well Carter, I can understand your confusion. Actually this is a first for us; Teal'c heard about this place a while back and suggested we check it out, but it was closed when we got here. He was really quite upset actually; I was surprised to see how enthusiastic he was!"
"I'll bet. But look: I think the others have finally made it."
Sure enough Daniel and Teal'c were coming down the stairs to join them, Teal'c with his usual impassive stare but Daniel looking slightly strained and without his customary bounce. However, his eyes lit up when he saw Sam and Jack sitting together. "I'm so glad you're here, I mean, I'm glad to see you both." He looked over at Sam and let out a low whistle. "Wow Sam, looking good."
Teal'c also turned to her. "I am in accordance with Daniel Jackson. I must compliment you on your appearance this evening."
Sam looked surprised. While she wasn't unaware of her looks, after working with the Air Force she was more used compliments about her work than her appearance. "Why thanks guys. And I like Teal'c's ... outfit," she said, biting back the word `costume'.
Jack let out a snicker. Teal'c was wearing stone-coloured trousers and shirt, with a brown fedora and leather jacket. Despite their physical differences, there was a definite Harrison Ford theme going on.
"I am glad of your approval, Major Carter. My clothes were Daniel Jackson's suggestion: he selected them for me to pay homage to a most famous archaeologist of our time, Indiana Jones."
Sam nearly choked, the look on Daniel's face daring her to say anything. "Actually Teal'c, there are several, err, documentaries of his life and deeds. Maybe you'd like to see them sometime?"
Teal'c bowed his head. "Indeed. I would enjoy that very much."
By now Jack was getting impatient. "For crying out loud guys, would you just sit down and maybe we can get some drinks then?" They settled in, Sam sandwiched between Jack and Teal'c while Daniel sat on Jack's left side. The waitress came over to introduce herself and asked for their drinks order.
Jack began to ask for three beers but Sam interrupted; if she was going to spice things up... "Actually, I'd prefer a cocktail - I'll have a margarita. And we'd like three blue jello shots." She turned to her left as Teal'c raised an eyebrow in a silent question. "That is, if you're up for the challenge?"
Daniel began to speak, "Whoa Sam, are you sure...?" but Jack interrupted.
"Carter, you know I'm up for anything you can throw at me!"
Their eyes locked and the table fell silent, Daniel inwardly chuckling at the sparks between them. When would those two give it up already and at least admit that something was there - just to a friend, if not to each other? Of course by a friend he meant himself preferably, but for their sakes he wasn't going to be fussy. He'd even have a jello shot if it meant he'd get to see what would happen!
Teal'c broke the moment by addressing the waitress, who seemed definitely amused by the interplay between his friends. "I will have a diet coke." He bowed his head again to Sam and turned to Jack and Daniel. "Major Carter has convinced me that the taste of diet beverages is far superior to the sugared equivalents."
Jack scowled. "T buddy, you're turning into a woman."
"Drinks coming right up," the waitress interrupted again. She turned towards the bar but Jack called her back after she'd taken only a few steps.
"Excuse me, would you mind taking a picture of us? We're out on a team-building exercise," he said, glancing at Sam slyly, "And I think we need some photos for official records. You know how it goes, showing the boss that we've got good chemistry," pausing, "As a group."
"Sure thing," the waitress said. She looked through the view finder and backed away. "I'm sorry, you're going to have to move closer together, I can't fit y'all in."
They duly squished up. Sam could feel Teal'c pressed up against her side but was glumly unsurprised to find the light contact between her thigh and Jack's far more disturbing. Daniel quite happily slung his arm round Jack, almost hitting him in the face but giving him the perfect opportunity. "Come on kids, let's look a little friendlier here. The General's going to want to see some shining happy faces when we get these developed."
Daniel and Sam merely laughed, knowing that there was no way General Hammond would be seeing that night's pictures, but the waitress gasped and her eyes grew big.
"Y'all in the army?" she breathed out, looking at the men with a new appreciation.
"We're actually working with the Air Force, up in Cheyenne Mountain," Daniel explained helpfully. "We work in Deep Radar Telemetry..." grinding to a halt as he saw Jack glaring in his direction. While it was a solid cover story, there was no point in giving it away for free, after all.
The waitress' eyes had glazed over at that last part but she suddenly came to and realised she was still holding Jack's camera. "Are you guys ready yet?"
"Hold on just a second. Teal'c, put your arm around Sam." Teal'c gingerly laid his arm across Sam's shoulders, almost as if he thought she'd break! `Damn it!' Jack thought to himself. He might be in shape, but there was no way his arm was competing with that much muscle! Then he thought again and carefully rested his hand just above Sam's waist. `Sweet!'
Sam smiled at the tenderness with which Teal'c was hugging her. She was always impressed that he managed to see her as a fellow warrior, yet when they were out of combat situations he behaved with utmost courtesy and respect towards her. She was all too aware of her status as the `token female' at the SGC and had learned to cope by being one of the boys, taking all the pranks and remarks with aplomb. It was nice that someone could see past her act.
Then she felt Jack's hand on her bare skin and all thoughts of being one of the guys flew out of her head. She shivered at the contact; his hand was so warm! She didn't dare look at him, but just concentrated on the feel of his fingers... moving in small circles... "We're ready," she desperately croaked.
"Smile!" The camera flashed, breaking the mood and the guys moved away. Except for Daniel, who was still `embracing' Jack. "Er, spacemonkey, is there something you want to tell me?"
Daniel mock-pouted. "I thought you wanted to show General Hammond how close we all are." He rested his head on Jack's shoulder for a second and then moved away, smirking. "Speaking of which, isn't it a bit ridiculous for you and Sam to be using each other's ranks when we're out painting the town red?"
Jack slanted Sam a look. "He's got a point, Sam. You gonna start calling me Jack?"
Sam sputtered a bit. While a bit of innocent flirting was one thing, using his name was a line she'd always avoided crossing. Well, it made sense to her anyway. "Are you sure, sir? The regulations..."
"For crying out loud, Carter! You think Kowalsky always called me sir? Anyway, what could possibly happen in front of Danny and Teal'c here?"
Sam stared down at the table for a second, reliving the feel of his fingers stroking her back. What could possibly happen? "I'll do my best then."
There was an uncomfortable silence for a couple of minutes, and then the waitress came back with their drinks and a pile of menus. "Here y'all are. I hope you're looking forward to participating in tonight's event; I must say that seeing as you're all Air Force, you should know what you're doing out there." She sent a coy look in Daniel's direction which he failed to notice, frozen to the spot as he was.
Jack stared at his hands, not knowing in which direction to look, and stretched forward to grab a beer. Busted! Finally Daniel found his voice. "I'm sorry, Mandy," he said, leaning in to read her name tag, "What were you saying about us taking part?"
Mandy looked surprised. "It's not compulsory if that's what you mean, though most people have a go and seem to enjoy themselves." She leaned towards him. "I'm sure you won't have any problems anyway. I'm sure you could take anyone you wanted." Jack sputtered, mid gulp of beer. There was a line if he'd ever heard one! "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be back with you folks later."
Sam finally found her voice. "So Jack, when you were talking about watching jello wrestling..." She definitely sounded dangerous. In fact, she looked dangerous. Jack almost wished she were still calling him sir, as it seemed a bit callous to pull rank on her after basically saying it was an informal evening. He inwardly sighed; he supposed he'd just have to be charming instead.
"Don't worry Sam; I've got some things in the car for everyone to change into. While those pants are probably jello-proof, I'm not sure your top could stand up to the rigours of combat!" He waved his hands in an effort to describe the potential deadliness of such a move - hey, not that he'd really be complaining - but caught the death-glares both Sam and Daniel were sending him, and forced himself to stop. "I think it's about time for those jello shots, don't you? Bottoms up!"
*****
Chapter Five: Storm in a tea cup
Sam felt the vodka burn the back of her throat as she downed her shot. She was torn: she didn't want to back down and listen to Jack crowing for the next few months about how she was never up for a challenge. Plus, if she was entirely honest with herself, a tiny voice inside her was saying `Give it a go, you might have some fun.' But ultimately she didn't think she was prepared to let loose like that in front of a room full of strangers. In someone's house, maybe, but not in a public place. Well, not unless she was totally plastered, anyway. She glanced down at her margarita: time for some food.
"I'm sorry sir, but it's not going to happen. Really." She looked up and saw that Jack was giving her his number one, patented puppy-dog eyes. Without being able to help it she started laughing: that cute-little-boy face of his got her every time. "Stop it, you're not going to change my mind! I'm not getting into one of those paddling-pools in public, it's just not happening. Period!"
Jack pouted, but he wasn't really surprised. It was enough that she had come along. "Fine then but remember, you're calling me Jack for the evening. Danny, how about it?"
Danny was still sputtering from his shot: he wasn't used to downing `neat' spirits. "You've got to be kidding! After you had to practically bribe me to get me here, you think I'm going to wrestle with you? I don't even particularly like jello!" Sam looked over at him in question: bribery? "He promised me we could go back to err, Mexico, you know, the place we just visited? I know we didn't find anything of particular value there but I think if we head further in, towards those mountain ranges, we might just find something significant."
It took a few seconds for the penny to drop. "Mexico!" Sam exclaimed, and then lowered her voice. "You mean the mudplanet?" She thought back to the looks on everyone's faces when she came back through the gate after that mission. "No way!"
Jack leaned away, looking sheepish. "Sam, I'm sorry, but the General thinks that Danny might be right. We always need new," he paused for a second, "Trading partners, so he's given us a go."
"And what, no one else is qualified to go back?" Sam retorted. "Give me a break; it's a total waste of our time. Let one of the other teams go there."
"Maybe I pulled a few strings so that we were the ones to go back, but so what? If we do find anything, Danny boy here's the best qualified... We really shouldn't be having this conversation here Major. Later, OK?"
"Fine Jack," she bit out. "Now how about we get some food before Daniel passes out from his drink?"
"Hey!" Daniel protested. "This isn't my fault! Well, OK, maybe a little, but I still think it could be important to check everything out. It's not as if I've never been dragged onto some boring search for soil samples or in the midst of enemy fire. You're not being fair, Sam."
"Fine," she repeated, face expressionless. "Teal'c, could you stand up a minute? I'd like to squeeze by."
Teal'c rose and moved aside so that she could pass but Jack wasn't happy to let things go; he grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her back. "Come on Sam, sit back down, take a chug of your... green drink. You know you're overreacting."
That was the last straw; Sam wrenched her wrist back and forced her way out. "I am going to get another drink and find someone who'll actually listen to what I have to say. Now give it a rest." She stormed off quite spectacularly, almost tripping in her heels, and headed straight for the ladies where no one would be able to come after her. Some evening this was turning out to be!
Teal'c sat back down, face almost expressionless but a tension about the eyes suggesting disapproval. "What?" Jack asked nastily. "Maybe you should go after her Teal'c; she might not bite your head off.
Teal'c merely looked back at him. "I believe that Samantha Carter requires some a chance to regain her calm. While I agree that her behaviour was unusual, she disliked our last mission greatly. Perhaps if you and Daniel Jackson had displayed a more supportive attitude, she would be more amenable to returning." This was as close to a reprimand as Teal'c ever got.
Sam poured cold water over her wrists and stared at herself in the mirror. Already she had realised how much she had over-reacted; okay, she'd had a terrible time on that planet and the guys hadn't helped, but dirty and tedious missions were just part of her job. Despite Daniel's over-enthusiasm she respected his opinion and if he thought there was something worth looking at on that planet, well, maybe he was right; not to mention the fact that Jack was her CO and had the right to decided what was best for the team! She probably ought to go back out there and apologise.
Except she didn't want to apologise, or at least not straight away. Maybe she was being unreasonable but she was tired of biting her lip and taking her orders. While she accepted that it was a necessary part of her professional life and had nothing but respect for her immediate superiors, she was supposed to be having an evening away from work. Sam made her decision: she was going to walk to the bar, order a drink and hopefully find some cute guy to talk to, just for a little; she could have some fun and then return to her friends without feeling like she was backing down too much. Plus Jack had been trying to push her buttons all evening; maybe this way she could return the favour.
Meanwhile at the table, conversation was a little strained. Daniel was beginning to feel the effects of his jello shot and was smiling pretty much continually while Jack had finished his own beer and started on his friend's. The margarita stood untouched in the middle of the table. Teal'c struggled to find a subject to break the mood.
"O'Neill, if you still wish, I would be willing to face you in battle in the circle of jello." Jack's face brightened.
"Waita go, T-man! Except you do know it's not actual warfare, right?" Jack was concerned that Teal'c would pulverise him; sadly his Special Forces moves were no match for decades of training and a symbiote. After all, it wouldn't look very good if he had his ass whipped in front of a room full of people. "I think we should look this as more of a chance to give a display, ya know, show them the full range of our talents."
Teal'c gave him a deadpan look, not that this was anything new. "Am I correct in thinking that you do not wish for me to humiliate you in front of a roomful of people?"
"Yup."
"Very well, O'Neill. I will give you a chance to practise your technique before we take things to a more serious level." And that, Jack realised, was as good an offer as he was going to get.
Daniel spoke up. "Don't look now guys, but Sam seems to have come back out." Immediately Jack's head swivelled round and he realised he wasn't the only one: those tight leather pants... And then she walked on to the bar and took a seat, crossing her legs. Like a flash the barman was in front of her, apparently taking her order. Jack could only see her profile but recognised the smile spreading across her face. The barman laughed and began to mix her drink; he was obviously interested.
"So have you folks decided on what to eat yet?" the waitress interrupted. Daniel wryly thought that the service was terrible, it seemed like they had been sitting around for hours! Of course, time was relative when your friends kept sparring in front of you.
"Sure. Jack, should we just order for Sam? We know what kind of food she likes by now."
"Yeah, if she ever comes back." Jack grumped. Deciding his friend was going to be of no use, Daniel ignored him. "I'll have one jambalaya with spinach on the side and one chicken melt sandwich with fries and slaw. Murray?"
Teal'c ordered the largest steak on the menu with a full complement of sides; Jack chose his meal with a seeming lack of interest but asked for another two beers. `Here we go,' thought Daniel, not sure if he hoped that Jack intended one for him or not.
Jack craned his neck round trying to see what Sam was doing. For crying out loud, she was talking to another bloke and this one was definitely cute! Well, Jack thought so anyway; he did recognise that he might not be the best judge.
"Just before I leave, I should tell you `bout our entertainment this evening in more detail. The wrestling is about to begin but during our interval we allow a few members of the audience to have a go. Seeing as you're with the Marines, I thought maybe you'd like to sign up..." Mandy hovered expectantly.
Marines - huh! Jack looked at Teal'c. "T buddy, you sure you're up for this?" Teal'c bowed his head. "Then yes, we'd love to have a bout in the ring. Do we have to fill anything out?"
"Just a disclaimer form, stating that we're not responsible for any injuries that you may incur." Mandy looked at Daniel from beneath her eyelashes. "You're not going to sign up for a go?"
Daniel blushed. "It's not really my thing I'm afraid; I have a scientific role in the Air Force, rather than being on active duty." Jack snorted - if an SG team didn't count as active duty, he didn't know what did.
The waitress pouted a little. "Great. Then if you'll come with me, we'll get everything signed and I'll get a rush put on your meals. You'll want some time to let your food settle before any exertion."
They followed her and jumped through all the necessary hoops, Jack trying to keep a discreet eye on his 2IC who was still at the bar. Apparently she was quite the catch; she had two or three guys around her now and it looked like they were trying to persuade her to do another jello shot. He forced down his impulse to go over there and tell them to leave her alone; like it or not Sam was not his responsibility when they weren't on duty and she had a right to spend time with whomever she liked. Even if they were all supposed to be on a team night.
As he returned to the booth with Teal'c, Jack made sure that he sat facing the bar so that he could still see her.
*****
Chapter Six: Time for the ring
Sam was having a surprisingly good time. She hadn't let loose for ages and when she did hang out at a bar, was normally surrounded by her friends. While most of the guys she'd spoken to were probably jerks, she was still enjoying the flirting - it was harmless really. Plus one guy, Mike, seemed genuinely nice; he worked locally for a petrochemical company and was involved in research for them. The fact that he couldn't tell her the details of his work because they were `top-secret' only made her smile: if it was a line, it was a familiar one. All in all, if he asked for her number she might actually give it to him.
On the other hand, she was beginning to feel guilty about leaving her team mates alone. She was aware of Jack staring at her and while at first it had felt good to be the centre of his attention, she didn't want to hurt him. There was a difference between a little playful payback and jerking someone around; Sam was worried she had crossed that line. So she made her excuses with a smile and slipped off her stool, intending to return to their booth. She heard her name called out though and turned to see who it was.
Mike gave her a rueful look. "I know you have to get back to your friends, but will you have another drink with me later in the evening?"
Sam looked at him intently. He seemed nice and genuinely eager to spend more time with her, but she was still uncertain. Was it really okay to lead one man on when she still had feelings for another? There was only one answer.
"I'm sorry, but we came out as a group and I think I've spent enough time at the bar for one evening. It was nice meeting you though." On impulse, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
Hope flared in his eyes. "Then maybe some other time; I'd really like to get to know you better." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. "Here's my number; call me sometime."
Sam took it from his hand, just looking at him. Then she turned away and walked back to her friends, not entirely sure what to say when she reached them.
Luckily she didn't have to say anything; Daniel spoke up before she could begin to stammer out an apology. "Sam, we've already ordered for you. I hope you still like jambalaya."
Sam smiled, touched. She'd expected an awkward silence and recriminations, not a welcome. "That sounds great! Thank guys." She paused; "Is there any room for me to sit down."
Daniel immediately squidged over, leaving her more than enough space. "Uh, thanks". She found herself sitting directly opposite Jack, but he wouldn't look at her.
"It looked like you were having a pretty good time with that guy over there," Jack said harshly. He'd seen the kiss and had felt a constriction in his chest: not so much at the peck on the cheek as at the fact that that Sam had apparently taken the man's number. He saw Sam's face fall at his tone and immediately regretted his comment; just because he had these `feelings' didn't mean that she wasn't free to act on her own. His voice softened. "That is, you don't have to sit with us, ya know?" He met her eyes. "Seriously, if you want to go and have another drink with him, please don't let us stop you."
If Sam hadn't known Jack so well, she would have assumed he was entirely unbothered by her actions; she saw the pinched skin around his eyes however. "Jack, I want to sit with you guys. Despite my actions," she grimaced, "I want to spend the evening with you all. That's why I came out with you: it certainly wasn't for the wrestling!" She looked at each of her team mates in turn, trying to make sure that they believed her.
Jack relaxed slightly; he'd been inwardly praying she wouldn't take him up on his offer. Her unspoken apology helped sweeten his mood. "And I thought you were looking forward to all those girls in bikinis!"
Teal'c felt it was time to interrupt before Sam displayed more out-of-character behaviour. With a repressive look towards Jack, he said, "Samantha Carter, I believe what O'Neill was trying to say was that we are grateful for your company this evening. Later O'Neill and I will be performing for the crowd; we hope that we can count on your support."
His distraction worked; Sam's face lit up and she broke up into a smile. "Seriously? Isn't that a little one-sided though?"
Jack winced. "Is that insubordination?" He winked: "Why don't you join my team, Sam? I'm sure we'd have a much better chance as two against one."
At that point, a high pitched whine filled the room and then faded out. A loud voice proclaimed, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I announce the opening of tonight's jello tournament! As ever, we will be giving the audience a chance to take part halfway through; if you'd like to experience life in the ring please speak to one of our waitresses. Now may I introduce tonight's contenders."
In processed the group of combatants: tanned, with flowing hair and all their curves shown off to maximum advantage by their skimpy bikinis. Sam stifled a laugh: they looked exactly as she imagined. She only wondered how they were going to be able to grapple without losing their `outfits' entirely! She looked round at the guys, interested to see the expressions on their faces.
Daniel had flushed bright crimson but continued to stare, apparently in shock. Teal'c had raised an eyebrow in his characteristic gesture but appeared to be otherwise unmoved; of course, he wasn't the easiest person to try and gauge the mood of. While as for Jack; Jack was waggling his eyebrows at her. "So Sam, which one do you think's going to win? Personally I'm going for the redhead with the tattoo on her shoulder - she looks fierce."
Sam decided to break a long-standing order and giggled: the tattoo was of a large heart with the word `Peace' beneath. "I like the bimbo with the black hair and the blue stripes," she announced, referring to the stripes on the girl's bikini; she'd chosen the shortest one there.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "What does this word `bimbo' mean?" Before Sam could answer him, he continued. "O'Neill and Samantha, I do not believe that either of the females you have selected will prevail. Their musculature appears inferior compared to some of the other contestants."
Daniel tried to explain the term to Teal'c, but his friend was unimpressed. "I believed that warriors would be meeting this evening, Samantha Carter. Why would you describe one in such terms?"
The girls wandered round the room, strutting their stuff as Daniel tried to explain the purpose of jello wrestling; he used phrases such as `appreciation of the feminine physique' and `aesthetic pleasure'. The corners of Teal'c's mouth drooped downwards. "I see. Then O'Neill and I shall have to demonstrate our superior technique later."
"Danny, don't be fooled." Jack drawled. "Murray and I had this conversation weeks ago, when he asked me how serious these events were. The infamous jaffa humour strikes again!"
The commentator continued with his opening spiel. "Our first pair of the evening are Flame and Panther. Give them a big round of applause, people!"
Sam snickered. "Please. Where do they get their names from, a comic book?"
Jack glanced over at her. "Hey, my girl's up - betcha she wins. Any takers?"
Daniel considered for a moment. "Historically, red hair is associated both with aggressiveness and the devil. I'm with you on this one, Jack."
"Geez Danny, only you could bring legend into deciding how to place your bets," Jack groaned in disgust. "Let's get this man another drink!"
Danny began to protest. "Ja-ack. Are you trying to roll me home?"
"If that's what it takes. Now Sam, what about it?" The girls were now standing in the ring, facing each other.
"Sure. What stakes?"
Jack gave her a long, considering look. He wondered how far he could push things. "If Flame wins, you have to change into the work-out clothes I brought for you." He smirked slightly.
Sam paused. "I've no idea what you chose, but from the look on your face I'd better make this good. If I win, you have to promise not to be sarcastic for a week." The bell rang and the girls in the ring started circling each other. "Done." Jack leaned towards Sam and they shook hands, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. Sam felt a shiver run through her and she quickly pulled her hand away; his dark eyes followed her movements with a look of deep satisfaction.
Daniel and Teal'c exchanged looks - the flirting was back! Neither commented however; they were just glad that their team mates had `made up'. Talk about your ups and downs!
Sam forced her attention towards the paddling pool; the bimbos had grabbed hold of each other's shoulders and appeared to be trying to force their opponent down towards the ground. `Panther' slipped and slid down into the green jello, which surged up around her, splattering both her and the redhead with the green slime.
Teal'c went so far as to scowl. "They fail to show any prowess in this sport."
Jack's eyes were fixed on the females, now rolling around in the pool together. "Yeah, but what a pretty sight Murray, you've got to give them that."
`Panther' had now forced `Flame' first down in the sticky dessert-stuff and was straddling her, holding her down. Mandy walked over, laden with plates, and started setting them down on the table. Sam smugly noted that she was the only one with a clear view of the room now; her three companions were craning round their waitress, desperate to keep their eyes on the action. She was surprised to find that she was enjoying herself; it was all so ridiculous and it was actually fun to watch all the men present drooling.
"Could we have another two jello shots, red this time, and two more sodas please?" Jack asked Mandy as she began to move away.
"Sure, coming right up. Just let me know when you've finished and I'll show you where you can change."
"Thanks." Jack smiled at her as she walked off. "Come on campers, it's time to eat."
Sam checked out the action in the ring; the bimbos were both standing again, just coated in green slime. While she supposed their bodies looked oiled, personally she thought it was kinda gross.
Teal'c was digging into his huge steak with gusto, eyes glued to the ring. "As I understand the rules of wrestling, Panther is winning, O'Neill." Sam whooped with glee.
"Ah, you just wait," Jack spoke confidently. "I have faith in that fire-cracker." Sam watched as the redhead stuck out a foot, tripping her opponent up but falling herself in the process: that jello must be slippy! Flame quickly regained her advantage and pinned the other's shoulders down to the ground.
They watched move after move, even wincing when the `fighters' grabbed handfuls of jello and rubbed it into each other's hair. Daniel found it hard to keep track of the score; funnily enough, the referee didn't seem to be ruling according to conventional scoring techniques. Finally however the bell rang, signalling the end of the round.
"All right!" shouted the referee, "It's time for the scores. Let's have a cheer for Panther!"
The crowd roared raucously. Sam looked over at Jack suspiciously; he seemed to be remarkably involved in his meal. "You knew how the scoring worked, didn't you?"
"What?" he enquired innocently. "You never asked how the winner was decided, though you've gotta admit, Flame is a honey." Judging by the crowd's reaction, they agreed with him; the noise was even louder than before.
"And the winner is... Flame!" Cheers rose up from the audience; Sam looked over at Jack with a twist of her lips.
"So, scare me; what will I be wearing tonight?"
Jack grinned. "Come on Sam, you wouldn't want me to spoil the surprise would you now? You'll just have to wait and see!"
They all tucked in to their meals, watching the new pair of bikini-clad babes writhing around in the red jello.
"Surely some of the jello must get... stuck in uncomfortable places?" Daniel murmured.
Teal'c was more critical of the appearance of this duo. "I find the red jello much less appealing than the green; however, their fighting has an added realism this way."
"They do look rather like serial killers, don't they?" Jack asked lazily, not expecting any answer. Sam had to confess that she agreed with him; it was a rather gruesome sight.
Finally, even Teal'c had finished his meal. Danny and Sam were staring warily at the two jello shots that Jack had ordered for them.
"Come on kids, just one gulp and they'll be gone," Jack coaxed.
"Exactly why aren't you having one again?" Daniel demanded, not looking entirely happy.
"Because I wasn't chicken and decided to take Murray here up on his challenge; I don't think vodka will help my cause. Now will you just down the things and then Carter, T and I can all go change!"
The two scientists on the team lifted their cups in tandem and swallowed. Sam went bright red from the alcohol whereas Daniel choked, apparently in danger of expiration. `He really should cut down on the booze,' Jack thought contentedly.
"Right. I'm just going to the car but I'll be right back. Before I go though, Danny, I'm entrusting the camera to you." They'd already taken several shots of the establishment and many more of the wrestlers; they were on their second roll of film. He disappeared up the stairs.
Five minutes later the wrestlers had moved onto the blue-filled pool. The crowd was in uproar; this time four girls were having what seemed to be a hair-pulling contest while their coverings wobbled precariously. Jack reappeared in the room with a bulky sports bag, from which he pulled out two smaller paper ones. He handed one each to Sam and Teal'c.
"There are two locker rooms by the rest rooms; we can change there. I think everything should fit, I requisitioned it from supplies. Hope you like the outfit Sam." With that he led Teal'c off to `prepare for warfare'; Sam followed. Once alone she opened the bag and tentatively pulled out the contents: a pair of trainers, cycling shorts and... a khaki-green tank top! She couldn't help it, she burst out laughing. That man never gave up!
*****
Chapter Seven: Amateurs on the loose
Sam rejoined her friends back at their table. She was the last one back, probably due to the difficulties involved in peeling off her leather pants after a large meal and being in a hot room. She approached the table defensively, arms wrapped around her midriff: it wasn't so much the bare flesh that bothered her as the associations the top carried.
Jack jumped out of his seat to meet her, dressed in similar shorts and a tight sleeveless shirt. Teal'c was dressed in the same way, with a bandanna replacing his cowboy hat.
"Sam, sweet little tank top you've got there. You should wear it more often!"
She blushed. "You are totally irrepressible, you know that?"
"That a rhetorical question, Sam? Come on Danny, take a pic of the two of us here in front of the jello rings. It seems appropriate after last time Carter was wearing this number." With that, he put his arm round her waist and shot a huge grin at his camera-wielding friend."
Danny rolled his eyes while Sam tentatively put his arm round Jack's shoulders: he truly was outrageous. "Shouldn't Teal'c join us for this one, Jack? We could have a workout-clothes picture." Sam was finding it easier to use his name by now; she hardly had to think about it. That would be one bad habit to take back to base!
"In a minute, Sam, in a minute. Come on Daniel, would you just take that picture already?" Jack pulled his other arm in front of Sam so that his joined hands were resting on her bare stomach. Instead of the traditional `two friends smiling nicely' shot Daniel had expected, he got one of Jack grinning wickedly while Sam struggled to push his hands away. Then another of Sam turning into Jack, head on his chest, as he tickled her midriff and she giggled helplessly.
Jack took a breather, arms still firmly wrapped firmly around her. "Teal'c, would you get up here and stop Sam from violating another order?"
"Hey!" Sam exclaimed indignantly, "I always follow or-ders..." Her voice faded into laughter as Jack attacked her stomach again.
Daniel called out, "Get a room guys!" while Teal'c walked over and firmly pushed his friends apart.
"I believe that as the tallest, I should stand in the middle," Teal'c announced, smug look on his face. While he found Sam and Jack's behaviour amusing, he was surprised to see how freely they were both acting that particular evening. He didn't want to separate them per se, but felt that maybe they needed a brief cooling-off period.
Daniel heard a muttered "Spoilsport," but he wasn't sure whom it came from and he didn't think he wanted to know. He pressed a button and the shutter clicked again:
"All done guys. Don't I get to have any pictures taken?" he pouted. Daniel had definitely had too much to drink.
Sam gave him a huge, beaming smile. "We could call Mandy over if you liked Daniel - I'm sure she'd love to have her picture taken with a Marine."
Daniel mumbled something unintelligible. Jack decided it was time for a little more teasing: his two human team mates were both a little gone. He caught their waitress' eye and she bustled over.
"Mandy, I need a favour." Daniel paled: was Jack really doing what it looked like he was doing? "I need a couple more jello shots here - how about blue again?" Daniel breathed out; maybe Jack was losing his sadistic streak after all.
"Sure - anything else?"
"Well, actually, there's one more thing. You see, my friend here is too shy to ask, but he'd really like his picture taken with you. Would you mind?"
Mandy looked thrilled. "Of course not - I'd be delighted!"
Daniel looked anything but. Teal'c decided that it was his turn for some fun.
"Daniel Jackson, allow me to utilise the camera. I believe you should stand and accompany Amanda: she is waiting for you."
Reluctantly Daniel joined her, then jumped as a hand found its way down to his ass. This was one friendly hangout! He glared at Jack, who was laughing so hard that tears were coming to his eyes. What ever happened to the concept of looking out for your buddies?
Teal'c solemnly took a couple of pictures and then handed the camera back to Daniel, who grabbed it and rushed back to sit down. The group turned their attention back to the floor.
"I didn't think anyone could bend like that!" Sam exclaimed, reluctantly impressed. Maybe she should try signing up for one of those yoga courses that Janet was always recommending. Let's face it, she could probably do with the relaxation value alone.
"Indeed," Teal'c replied. They gazed on as the action heated up.
"You've got to hand it to those girls, they are... talented," Jack commented. He hardly noticed the shots arriving, so enthralled in the sight in front of him.
"Sure they are!" Danny enthused! Jack looked fondly over at the younger man.
"Come on Sam, Danny, time for some another drink. Here you both go."
Daniel took his eagerly, Sam with considerably more reluctance. But she was determined to go along with the flow.
"OK kids, one, two three..."
This time the alcohol seemed merely warm, not burning; Sam reflected that she probably ought to find that worrying. Daniel slumped slightly.
"Jack, I'm not sure I'm going to make the whole evening."
Jack smiled. "We know, Daniel. Don't you worry, we'll get you home in the end." The bell rang again in the background and the crowd cheered for their favourites. Sam listened on, beginning to feel slightly fuzzy.
"And now it's time for our ladies to have a break. Let's welcome the first of our amateurs for this evening: give a big hand for Shadow and the Angel of Death!"
The audience whooped in support, the volume fading slightly as the two men stood up; both were distinctly scrawny and clad in full-body spandex. Daniel collapsed into hysterical giggles while the others exchanged amused looks. It looked like they'd just entered the comedy hour.
The bell rang and the two men bared their teeth in mock grimaces, obviously aiming for ferocity but winding up a good few miles short. In a dramatic gesture, the `Angel of Death' leapt forwards towards his opponent... and skidded, falling over and hitting his chin on the ground. The crowd groaned.
"That's gotta hurt," Jack commented in obvious sympathy. "The guys should have taken skating lessons before stepping out there."
Things only got worse. The second guy knelt to hold Angel down but slid himself, ending up on top of his fighting partner. The two men gave up on trying to regain their footing and started trying to shove handfuls of jello down each other's fronts.
"Now why didn't those girls earlier try that?" Jack leered; Sam slapped him on the shoulder.
"Behave!"
Jack waggled his eyebrows back at her. "Now where would the fun in that be?" Daniel just giggled again.
Finally the bell rang. "I think we've all seen enough!" roared the announcer. "Come on, let's thank our ... valiant competitors."
The room broke out into applause; if they had failed to demonstrate any skill, at least the two fighters had been good sports.
"Next up we have, unusually, two scientists. Give a warm welcome for Edward and Mike!"
Sam choked for a second; she hadn't expected to see her earlier drinking partner up there. Both him and his friend were dressed in less revealing exercise shorts but were stripped bare to the waist. She had to admit, it wasn't exactly an unpleasant sight.
Jack noticed Sam eyeing up the guy she'd been talking to earlier and scowled. Stupid science nerd with a shiny, hairless chest: he probably waxed it! And what exactly did he do in his lab to get a six-pack like that anyway? He was thoroughly put out.
Teal'c was also irritated, though for a different reason. "O'Neill, I do not understand the purpose of the tight attire we are wearing. The clothing of those men appears to be much less binding."
Jack's frown deepened: what was it, gang up on Jack day? "It's a matter of practicality, my friend. I personally feel that squishy goo sliding down my shorts is not something I need today, alright?"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow; he hadn't been able to see Sam's little encounter at the bar and was therefore unaware of why Jack was so cranky. "I did not mean to cause offence, O'Neill. I was simply attempting to understand your tactics."
"Yeah, whatever," Jack replied. He was feeling distinctly unhappy and he was going to indulge in a little wallowing, damn it!
*****
Chapter Eight: Clash of the Titans
SG-1 watched the two men grappling in front of them with different levels of interest.
Teal'c was trying to gauge just how slippery the footing in the pool was: he certainly didn't intend to fall over in front of the crowd if he could help it. Unfortunately from what he had seen, he wasn't sure he would have much choice. He anticipated an interesting match ahead.
Daniel was now sitting with his head propped up on one hand, quite happy: he didn't feel drunk at all, just a little light-headed. He stared with blurry eyes at the pitcher of water standing in the centre of the table: maybe if he drank some down, the room would stop swaying. He concluded he must have overdone it in his office that day, not remembering that he had worked far longer hours with no ill effects. `Too much work and not enough fun,' he thought, spilling some of his water down his shirt.
Sam was watching the contest with interest. She had decided earlier that evening not to call Mike: he was a lovely bloke and if things were different she might have come to a different conclusion, but she wasn't going to start seeing one man while having such strong feelings for another. She and Jack had a tacit `Let's wait till things change' policy; while it had been strained a few times, she was going to honour their unspoken agreement. Still, Mike did have some good moves and there was nothing wrong with taking in a little eye-candy, surely?
Jack on the other hand was distinctly unimpressed. `Let a young pretty-boy into the ring and suddenly all the women start taking an interest,' he grumped to himself, conveniently forgetting the half-naked women who had brought him along in the first place. Sitting opposite his 2IC, he was in the perfect position to watch her watching another guy... Not a happy situation. Suddenly he decided enough was enough, he was going to distract Sam if it was the last thing he did.
"So, Sam, whatcha been working on in that lab of yours?"
Sam turned round and looked at him, totally taken aback. "You want to listen to my technobabble?"
"Yup." He tried to look as enthusiastic as possible.
"You want to me to talk about my technobabble right here?" Her voice rose, disbelief battling with amusement.
"Yup." Then Jack paused and saw his mistake. "OK, maybe not here. Some other time then?"
Sam looked at him, still bewildered, and then turned back to the floor. "Sure." Jack sighed: that had gone well, real smooth. He struggled to think of another topic.
"Carter, have you been keeping up with the hockey scores this year?"
Now Sam knew something was up: Jack was well aware of her lack of interest for any sport. "Jack, are you OK?"
Yup, really well. "Fine Sam, just fine." Maybe he needed a change of tactics. Instead of moping, he should focus on kicking ass instead. Maybe he'd have a chance to take on that nerd later. Yeah. With that in mind, Jack managed to send his worried 2IC a reassuring smile and return his attention to the match, intent on seeking out any weaknesses in Mike's repertoire. He might be older but he had his special ops skills to fall back on - he could totally take that guy!
Sam was relieved to see Jack smile but was still concerned. For Jack to voluntarily seek out a conversation about her research meant something was wrong. She surreptitiously watched him from underneath her eyelashes, trying to puzzle out what was really bothering the infuriatingly complex man sitting across from her.
The bell rang for the end of the wrestling bout. Both the contestants sagged momentarily and then stood up, Mike with his arms extended into the air. Obviously he thought that he'd won. He looked round the room searchingly, then saw Sam and gave her a big thumbs up.
Suddenly Sam understood her CO's tension; boy, could she be clueless sometimes. Time for some damage control. She smiled back at Mike and then looked away: it wasn't fair to ignore him just because she'd screwed up but she didn't want to offer any encouragement. As for Jack... tempted as she was to let him squirm a bit more, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.
The caller's voice boomed across the room. "And now we have a special pair for you; two of our nation's finest from the Air Force." Jack breathed out: at least they'd got it right this time. "Let's hear it for Colonel O'Neill and, er, Murray!" The announcer looked questioningly over at their table, hoping for a rank or at least a surname, but finally realised he wasn't going to get anything else.
Jack and Teal'c stood to head to the front of the room; Sam followed them. "Guys, let me give you a hug for luck - after all, this is your debut performance." She reached up to circle her arms around Teal'c; the larger man gently hugged her in return.
"I appreciate the sentiment, Samantha Carter, but I hope it will not be needed. Contests should be settled by skill and endurance, not by the vagaries of chance." Sam chuckled - what else had she expected?
"Sorry Murray." The smile died on her lips as she turned to Jack, a little uncertainly. "Sir?"
She stepped forward and tentatively wrapped her arms around him; he returned the gesture, holding her tightly to him. They stayed like that for just a fraction longer than necessary until Jack pulled back, looking into Sam's eyes. Whatever he saw appeared to satisfy him; he gave her his favourite lop-sided grin and headed off after Teal'c.
"Hey Murray, wait up!"
Sam looked over at Daniel, still sitting at the table. "I think they're going to be right next to the bar: we could head up there and stand, for a closer view."
Daniel muzzily nodded his head. "Sure thing, Sam. You might want to have the camera though; everything seems a little blurry."
Sam laughed. "Sure it does. Come on, we don't want to miss the start." She placed Daniel's arm round her shoulders and put her own round his lower back; he deserved a hug too, after all, and if it helped him not to fall over, so much the better.
Jack and Teal'c removed their shoes and socks; the commentator told them that it would help their balance and besides, they didn't want to risk tearing the rubber. Jack stepped into the pool and wrinkled his nose in disgust; his feet sank into the jello, which reached over his ankles. It felt very peculiar: a little slimy, a little sticky and it made moving harder. He could also see some floating lumps which looked highly unappetizing - what the hell were those? Jack realised that the jello was mixed with bits of apple, pineapple and some grapes: he made a mental note to lift his feet up high when possible.
Looking across at Teal'c, he saw the jaffa's lips curve downwards. Apparently he wasn't the only one who wasn't exactly impressed.
The bell rang. Jack stepped from foot to foot, watching his opponent's face and body for any signs as to his intentions. An unskilled fighter would often tense their muscles before moving in, allowing a careful observer to work out from which direction to expect an attack. Of course, Teal'c was one of the best and knew how to control his reactions and feint in turn, but it never hurt to keep your eyes open.
Jack knew that strictly speaking, while wrestling you shouldn't use your legs in the attack as any subsequent points wouldn't count; however, the referee had told him and Teal'c that pretty much anything went and they had agreed to use a more versatile fighting style. The question was what would be more effective: simple punching or more traditional wrestling techniques.
Teal'c finally approached Jack, more slowly than he might have done otherwise because of their uncertain footing, and lightly grabbed onto Jack's shoulders. He then executed a basic judo move, slipping his leg between Jack's and yanking, knocking his friend over. Jack however had grabbed onto Teal'c's shoulders and managed to pull the heavier man down with him; again, Teal'c would have normally stay upright but the jello slipped him up. As both men hit the ground, globules of the slimy substance flew up into the air.
Undeterred by his fall, Jack rolled over and made his way back to his feet. Momentarily facing the wrong direction, he still heard Teal'c come up and grab him from behind. He pulled the bigger man forward and tried to flip him over his shoulder, realising only too late that both the jaffa's skin and his hands were slick from the jello. Jack grimaced: clearly anything requiring a hold of any form would not be the answer.
Teal'c pulled himself from O'Neill's grip and backed off from a moment, pausing to think. This was indeed a most challenging form of competition. He decided that simply exchanging blows might be more effective and jabbed towards Jack's chest, Jack having twisted round by now. Jack blocked and returned at Teal'c's chin, only to find his punch parried. The two of them continued to exchange blows, in an attempt to knock their opponent down or at least tire him out.
Sam watched on in fascination from the sidelines. She had watched the two spar before but this was a somewhat different scenario: obviously the challenging nature of the conditions was giving her team mates problems. It looked to be a close match: though she felt fairly certain that Teal'c would end up dominating, it wasn't going to be as black and white as she had anticipated. She only hoped that her photos would capture a sense of the contest.
Jack was tiring: his arms were screaming from all the blocking and hitting while his chest and face was aching from the blows Teal'c had successfully landed. Even though they were both holding back he admitted to himself that by this point, he'd prefer to be rolling around in the jello rather than fighting a battle to stay upright. Just seconds later he got his wish; Teal'c caught him on the collarbone with a chop of his right hand and he went down. In a desperate act of retaliation, Jack grabbed for the jaffa's ankle and yanked; he wasn't giving up just yet.
Teal'c landed on one knee, pausing before he pounded towards Jack who was attempting to reach a crouch. His momentum sent them flying backwards, in yet another spray of jello. Jack found himself on his back, knees curled in towards him defensively, with Teal'c pinning him down.
"I believe that part of the purpose of this evening is to entertain the assembly of people, O'Neill," Teal'c said, struggling to be heard over the background noise. With that, he took a handful of the jello and mashed into Jack's hair. "You should have allowed me to shave your head when you had the chance."
Jack grimaced: the jello felt like hair gel but thicker and much heavier. "Geez Teal'c, is that jaffa humour again?" With that he placed both hands on Teal'c's shoulders and shoved as hard as he could. Instead of Teal'c being forced away, Jack himself slid backwards by an inch. "I think I'm stuck."
The bell rang to signify the end of the match. "Phew," Jack sighed. "That was just about to get embarrassing!" He ignored the look on his buddy's face: he hadn't been that bad, had he?
They grasped slimy hands and waited for the audience's judgment. Apparently Teal'c was judged the superior competitor, though Jack certainly seemed to have gained quite a following of his own.
Sam had leapt off her stool when the fight finished and she ran over to her friends, while Danny slowly followed her. "That was great to watch!" she smiled, face lit up. "You two kicked ass!"
`Kicked ass' - Sam was definitely tipsy, Jack thought wryly. "Glad to hear you enjoyed it, Sam. Don't suppose you want another hug, do you?"
Sam's eyes ran over Teal'c and her commanding officer: their skin was streaked green and they had chunks of fruit and tiny beads of crushed jello clinging to them all over.
"Not this time, sir. Are you two going to shower before you sit down again?" she asked, wrinkling her nose at the sight of them.
"I believe that would be advisable, Samantha Carter," Teal'c intoned.
Jack's reaction was a little more vigorous. "Hell yeah - do you really think I'm getting into my truck like this?"
Sam laughed. "Guess not."
Daniel had joined them and was looking slightly more sober after all the water he'd forced down himself. "I think we should have an `after picture', to show what the whole thing was really like," he proclaimed. "Come on guys: smile!"
Jack plastered a grin on and Teal'c raised an eyebrow; Daniel took the camera from Sam and snapped away happily. "Right, let's get the two of you showered then."
Jack's eyes widened; maybe Daniel was still feeling the effect of all those drinks. "You want to come and shower with us too?"
Daniel snorted. "What? I advocate hygiene and suddenly you think I have a burning desire to see you naked? I've had plenty of opportunities already if I were interested, thank you!"
Jack rolled his eyes, listening to Sam giggle. "OK, I've got the message. Let's go, er, Murray."
Teal'c lingered slightly. "Will you be alright with Daniel Jackson on your own?"
Sam laughed. "I'll be fine: now go, clean up. I never liked green jello anyway!"
As the two fearsome warriors squelched off, Sam gently guided Danny back to their table.
*****
Chapter Nine: Hands off my girl!
"So Sam, what's up between you and Jack?" Daniel asked, out of the blue. He'd been biting his lip all evening but all the alcohol had given him confidence to speak up; being alone with Sam was the perfect opportunity.
Sam looked him in the eye, trying to maintain a blank face. "I don't what you mean. Okay, I did over-react earlier and it was unprofessional of me, but I'm just worn out."
She was good, Daniel noted, except she should have had an expression of confusion or shock at question, not neutrality. "That wasn't what I meant. Come on, there have been sparks flying between the two of you all evening: did you really think I hadn't noticed?"
Sam felt the colour rise to her cheeks and looked away: busted. "Daniel, I think you know how I feel about Jack, but you're also familiar with Air Force regulations. Would you really want SG-1 to have to split up, just so that Jack and I could have a fling?"
Daniel wanted to retreat from the pain in her voice, but forced himself to finish what he had started. "Except it wouldn't be just a fling and we both know it."
"Daniel, just stop it," Sam exclaimed, shrilly. Daniel reached out a hand in comfort but she pulled away. "Stop it," she repeated, voice lower now. She had spent the whole evening flirting, pretending things were different... Sam felt herself begin to lose control and stood, determined to find somewhere quiet before her mask could crack. She fled, eyes blurring, heading for the rest rooms yet again; as she hurried past the bar a hand reached out to her shoulder and stopped her.
"Hey, what's the matter," a voice asked. "Is everything OK?"
Sam looked up to meet a concerned pair of brown eyes. Only they weren't the eyes she wanted. A sob rose in her chest and burst out.
Mike rubbed his hands over her arms in a gesture of comfort. "Is there anything I can do to help? I don't know what's wrong but I'm sure it can't be that bad..."
Sam shook her head. "No, no, it's nothing, I'm just being silly." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and then gasped, seeing a smear of makeup. "Oh hell, I must look like a panda!"
Mike laughed. "I will warn you that there is a certain resemblance but you're much cuter than an oversized bear." Sam managed a watery smile. "That's better. Feel free to punch me, but would a hug help?"
Sam looked up at his face; he seemed to genuinely care and she needed the comfort. She let him put his arms around her and, just for a second, pretended they were someone else's.
Except his weren't the arms she wanted either. "No," she exclaimed, and pushed him away. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm sorry..."
"It's okay," Mike replied, letting her go "Don't worry: maybe I could find your friends for you?"
A hand on his shoulder twisted him round and he heard a voice growl, "You absolute bastard!" Then Jack swung at him as hard as he could.
Jack had finished showering and changing before Teal'c; dressed in his original clothes, he headed back into the main room. His stride was confident as he thought about Sam and the unexpected warmth she'd shown him that evening, until he saw her in the arms of the guy she'd been talking to earlier, crying and pushing him away. Something inside him snapped and he leapt across the room, determined to stop that jerk from harassing her. He grabbed the younger man and, snarling, punched him on the chin as hard as he could.
Sam watched on, horrified, as Mike staggered backwards towards the jello. She cried out: "Jack, wait, don't!" but he was totally oblivious to her cries, intent on teaching the younger man a lesson. Jack threw himself at Mike and they both fell backwards, falling over the pool's edge straight into the green jello.
Sam knew she had to do something: this mess was all her fault. She was terrified that Jack would seriously hurt the him; while Mike was obviously athletic he was only an amateur, whereas Jack had been trained for close combat by experts. Without a better idea, she jumped into the pool, reaching for her CO.
"Jack, stop! Listen to me!" she shouted, grabbing at his shoulder, but she didn't have any leverage and he pushed her away. Sam fell back, landing with a splash: yeuch! The jello was cold and clung to her skin: could things get any worse?
They did: Mike threw back a punch of his own, trying to defend himself against the maniac who had attacked him, but Jack could see the move coming and easily blocked him. Jack grabbed Mike's shoulders in return and in one swift move flipped him over, trying to force his face down into the jello.
Sam decided the situation called for stronger measures and crawled over to hit her CO hard on his shoulder blade, but he still wouldn't let up. "Daniel," she shouted, "I need help: get Teal'c," forgetting in her alarm to use the jaffa's `earth name.' Daniel had already been running towards her but headed off past, running to find their friend.
Jack was vaguely aware of voices calling him but couldn't focus on the sound, he was so furious. He was utterly focused on trying to neutralise the man in front of him. Jack registered a blow on his back but it wasn't hard enough to cause any serious damage; he continued to force the younger man down to the ground.
Teal'c heard Daniel shouting and ran out of the locker room, fully dressed; together they sprinted into the room. Teal'c took in the sight before him and climbed into the ring, with Daniel beside him. They each took one of Jack's arms and pulled while Sam pushed at his chest from the other side. Despite the difficulty of maintaining a grip on Jack's slick skin, they managed to force him back.
Jack shook his head, jello flying, to find himself yet again covered in jello, with two sets of hands on his shoulders and another spread across his chest. The room had fallen into an abnormal hush and everyone was watching him, apparently fascinated.
He turned to Sam, eyes running over her in concern. "Carter, are you all right? Did that bastard hurt you?"
Sam looked at him in disbelief. "Am I all right? Jack, I'm absolutely fine, I was just a little upset." She stared at for him for a second longer and then began to laugh hysterically. A realisation struck her and she turned back to Mike: was he okay?
She gave him a hand to help him up. "Are you okay? He didn't mean... he assumed... did he hurt you?"
Mike rose, swaying slightly. "I feel like I was hit by a bus: what the hell set your friend off?" he snapped.
"I don't know if I'd call him my friend right now," Sam muttered, frowning. She spoke up: "He saw me crying and thought that you'd tried to hurt me, I don't know." She shrugged. "I'm so sorry, we all work together and my team is very protective of me."
"I'll say!" Mike retorted. "Can everyone in the Air Force hit like that?"
Jack was also standing again. "I can hit harder than that," he warned.
Sam swiveled round and glared at him. "Jack, would you just shut up!" she snapped. She turned back to Mike, biting her lip in apology. "I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do..."
Mike saw the obvious contrition on her face and smiled ruefully. "I thought that was supposed to be my line." He ran his finger down Sam's cheek, removing some of the jello clinging to her face. "Look, don't worry, it wasn't your fault. But for goodness sake," his voice hardened, "Get your friend to check his facts next time before he starts whaling on someone!"
Sam's face softened. "Thank you for trying to help: I really appreciate what you did." A hand on his shoulder for balance, she brushed her lips against his cheek in apology, giggling slightly as she tasted artificial lime. She definitely preferred blue!
Again Sam saw hope in his eyes. "You know, I'd still like it for you to call me sometime. No pressure: I'm not trying to guilt trip you into a date or anything, but it would be nice."
Sam paused. "I'm sorry, I don't think so; maybe under different circumstances... But take care."
"You too." He smiled tightly and clambered out of the pool.
Sam turned round to see her three friends being restrained by three security guards and a fourth grabbing her arm.
"I'm sorry Miss, but we're going to have take you to the manager." He led her out the pool, past the stunned group of diners.
"Oh for crying out loud, just let go of me already: I'm not going to hit anyone else," a familiar voice demanded from behind her, in that special tone of voice he normally saved for jaffa and hostile villagers.
"Look Jack, would you just keep quiet," Daniel barked in reply, clearly furious himself.
Sam couldn't help but smile despite her annoyance at the situation; of all the times the famous SG-1 had been dragged off in chains, this had to be the weirdest.
They were led into the manager's office, where they faced a small man who glared up at them. Thankfully the security guards released them, but another followed them in and deposited their belongings in a pile on the floor. Sam grimaced: she could guess where this was going.
The manager's voice was frigid. "I don't know what things are like in the Air Force, but this establishment is not accustomed to the kind of behaviour that you four have displayed tonight. We would like you to settle your bill and then depart the premises. I can also inform you that you will not be allowed admittance here again."
Jack objected. "Now look, this has all been a misunderstanding. I was under the impression that the man I... attacked had assaulted my friend here; I was simply trying to teach him some manners."
Sam rolled her eyes: of all the ridiculous explanations. Daniel spoke up.
"We're very sorry for any trouble we have caused: we'll be happy to pay our bill and then leave. Right, Jack?"
Jack looked coldly at him. "I'm not paying until the manager listens to what I have to say."
Sam finally lost her temper for the second time that evening. She reached for her purse and pulled out a credit card. "Here's my card, put it all on there." She handed it over.
The manager looked at her. "There will be a 20 surcharge for the disruption,"
"Fine," Sam bit out. She just wanted to get out of there and away from her CO as soon as possible.
Jack finally capitulated. "Don't be ridiculous Sam." He pulled his wallet out of pocket and handed a slimy card to the manager, who took it with a distasteful look. "I'm not going to let you pay."
"Fine," Sam snapped. She took her card back and picked up her jacket and the bag containing her clothes between her fingertips. "I'll see you guys out front." She stormed out, only to be stopped by one of the guards.
"Excuse me ma'am, I need to escort you out."
She glared at him again until he visibly hunched up. "I'll be leaving straight away."
"Of course; have a good evening."
She glared at him once more - was he trying to be funny or something? - and swept out, up the stairs and out of the building.
Meanwhile Jack resentfully signed his name to the colossal sum on the receipt. He picked up his jacket, beyond caring about the jello by that point. "Is that all?"
The manager returned his card. "Yes, you may go. Though I feel I should be warning you, I will be informing your commanding officer of this in the morning."
Jack's head drooped: that was swell, just peachy. "I'm sure you will."
He then left the room, followed by his team mates; they exited in silence, Teal'c bowing his head in silent apology. Jack entered the parking lot only to see Sam sitting on the hood of his truck.
"Carter, what the hell are you doing on my truck?"
"You can just bite me, sir!" was her reply. Jack was tempted to make the obvious reply, but decided it wouldn't help the situation.
Daniel sighed: why did he always have to be the voice of reason? "Look, I suggest we all just go home to bed and we can deal with the repercussions of this in the morning? How does that sound?"
Teal'c nodded in agreement. "I feel this would be the wisest course of action, Daniel Jackson."
Sam kicked her leg against the truck. "Fine."
Jack restrained the urge to shout at her. If she hadn't flirted with that guy all night... "Fine!"
Jack then looked at his team mates, properly taking in all of their appearances for the first time. "I don't know if you've all noticed but we're all covered in jello still. I suggest that we wipe ourselves off as much as possible with the towels we have and then I drive everyone home; there's no point in ruining Daniel's car and it's clearly too late for my truck."
He looked pointedly over at Sam, who gave him an innocent `Who, me?' look.
Daniel's face softened slightly. "I'd appreciate that, Jack."
The team cleaned themselves up as much as possible and then piled into the truck, Teal'c sitting in the front while Sam and Daniel sat behind. They drove off in silence.
They'd been driving for about ten minutes when suddenly a huge, booming laugh filled the vehicle. Daniel started and Sam jumped in shock: the noise was coming from Teal'c. Unbelievably, the jaffa was laughing, hands clutching his sides. Daniel was the first to join him, followed by Sam and then Jack, who had to pull over by the roadside for fear of causing an accident.
"So campers, do you all want to come back to my place?"
"Sure."
"Why not?"
"I am amenable to your suggestion, O'Neill."
Jack started the car and they drove off, this time in a less resentful silence.
*****
Chapter Ten: Cooling Down
Finally SG-1 pulled up outside Jack's house. Doors slammed but before they could go inside, Jack called out to his team. He might the inside of his truck to atone for his behaviour but he really didn't want jello smeared all over his house.
"Hey kids, wait up: we need to have a little cleaning session before we go in. Shoes, shirts and pants off: come on now."
Danny gave him an look, distinctly unamused. "What, getting us kicked out of a restaurant isn't enough for one evening, so now you want to get us arrested for indecent exposure?"
Jack sighed. "I don't want you naked... Really. I just want to hose everyone off before we go in, reduce the damage to my carpets. Is that too awkward?"
"I think we should rinse off in your back yard, sir." proposed Sam, diplomatically. "That way we'll be seen by fewer people and it won't look quite so, well, so dodgy."
"Sure, whatever. Come on round."
Jack led them to the back; he and his team mates then started stripping. Or at least two of them did: Sam removed her shoes and socks and settled down on the grass.
"Er Carter, don't you have anything else you want to take off?" Jack asked, resolutely trying to keep his amusement out of his voice. He thought that after everything that had happened an eyebrow waggle might be pushing it.
Sam was the only one of them still in her workout clothes. "The whole point of wearing these tight shorts was to prevent jello from getting trapped inside," she objected. "As for my top, I'm not wearing anything underneath, so it's most definitely staying on!"
Jack swallowed; his mouth seemed to have suddenly gone dry. "Fair enough," he croaked. "Just let me get that hose..."
Sam lazily surveyed their surroundings. The garden was enclosed by trees so that no one could see in and was surprisingly well-maintained: surely he had to have help to keep things looking so manicured. Her eyes then drifted to her team mates: this wasn't the first time she'd them in their underwear by any means, but normally she wouldn't let her eyes linger...
She was surprised to see that Teal'c was in tight black briefs; normally he'd wear something looser. Then again, if you considered the cycling shorts he'd been wearing earlier, his choice did make sense. Daniel's underwear was a scream: his boxers were orange, covered in tiny yellow pyramids. And as for Jack... His powerful shoulders narrowed to a lean but muscular torso and his briefs molded his butt perfectly.
Sam was shocked out of her reverie by his voice. "Hey Carter, could you come here and give me a hand: I can't get this thing working."
Sam rolled her eyes but walked over to help; how could this man be feared by Goa'uld the galaxy over? She stood next to him. "What exactly seems to be the problem, sir?" She looked up at him and took in him expression: something was up...
With a quick twist of his hand, Jack twisted the nozzle of the pipe so that a jet of water shot out and directed it right at her. Sam shrieked.
"Sir, please, no!" Her voice dissolved into giggles as he aimed the stream at her bare midriff, tickling the skin there. She started running to escape the water but he followed; given the length of the jet of water and the relatively small size of the garden, she didn't have a chance..
"Hey Danny, Teal'c, help me head her off!" Daniel rolled his eyes and backed off, clearly not wanting to be doused in cold water, but Teal'c ran over to Jack. However, instead of assisting his friend, he grabbed the hose instead.
"I believe you are also in need of a shower, O'Neill." With that, he turned it on Jack, turning the nozzle further so that the jet narrowed but also became more powerful.
Jack backed off. "Hey Teal'c, that hurts! Hey!" The situation descended into hilarity, a game of tag but with the tap on the shoulder penalty replaced by a drenching from the hose. After much screaming and running around, both Sam and Daniel began to shiver.
"Jack, fun as this, I'm getting cold and so's Sam: could we possibly go in yet?" Daniel asked.
Jack looked over at them in apology. "Sorry guys, I didn't mean to push it. Look, let me just run the hose over you one more time and you can go in. I'll put some coffee on and we can take turns in the shower: there should be enough hot water
Sam nodded, arms hugged round her body. Fun as this had been, she looked like she'd been in a wet T-shirt competition and was feeling rather self-conscious.
Jack altered the flow of water to a wider, gentler spray and thoroughly rinsed Teal'c off, paying attention to all the areas their earlier game had missed. He let Teal'c to do the same for him and then left the jaffa to do the honours for his friends. The sight of Sam in skintight shorts and her clinging top was having a powerful effect on him: while he definitely enjoyed the sight, he didn't want to embarrass her and certainly didn't want her to see the reaction she had on his body. Adjusting his stance, he unlocked his back door, and headed straight for the linen cupboard.
He trudged back down to the kitchen with a pile of towels in his arms, another wrapped round his waist. "Here you go. Carter, why don't you take the first shower? We can have coffee while we're waiting."
Sam looked relieved as she pulled a towel over her shoulders. "Great - save me a cup. Uh, do you have anything I could change into? I really don't want to try and squeeze back into my leather pants."
"Teal'c and I will need something too," Daniel added helpfully.
"Fine: I'll just grab some T-shirts and sweats if that's OK with you." Jack took a look at Teal'c. "Uh, they might be a bit snug on you, T buddy. Why don't I put the laundry on: at least you'll have something to wear in the morning."
"Sweats first," Sam reminded him.
"Sure." Jack accompanied his 2IC upstairs and rummaged round in his wardrobe as she hovered in the doorway of his bedroom. "Here, that should do you."
Sam took the bundle of clothes. "Thanks. Look, about this evening..." Sam trailed off, not sure what she wanted to say.
Jack looked at her intently, as if to assess her feelings. "Why don't you go warm up first: we can talk later."
Sam smiled, relieved by her reprieve. "Great. I won't be long." With that she disappeared into the bathroom, eager to strip out of her wet clothes.
When she had finished up Sam headed back down to the kitchen, Jack's clothes hanging on her. She was carrying her wet things with her, hoping to get them in the washing machine before Jack started the load, but she could hear its humming from the stairs. She looked down ruefully at the bundle, which contained the wet underwear she'd washed in the basin, and then turned up the stairs again. If she hanged them from her window-ledge, they'd be dry by morning.
Entering the kitchen, she was amused to see her team mates with towels wrapped round their waists, poring over something on the kitchen counter. The floor was strewn with damp towels, apparently to collect the water everyone was still dripping.
"You do realise that this is almost straight out of Top Gun," she asked, lips curving.
Daniel had looked up at the sound of her voice. "Shower's mine," he called, already halfway out the kitchen. Sam watched him run up the stairs in amusement.
"He's cold," Jack said in explanation. "We've been debating whether or not to order pizza in your absence."
"Pizza!" Sam exclaimed. "We went out for dinner!"
"While we have eaten this evening, I find myself in need of further nourishment," Teal'c announced.
Jack shot Sam a wry look. "I think he means that he's hungry."
"I got that." Sam glanced at her watch. "Wow, when did it get so late?"
"Probably when we were romping round the garden. Coffee?"
"Please," she replied. She leaned over to study the pizza menu. "I'm really not that hungry: I'll just have a slice of whatever you're having."
Teal'c raised an eyebrow, apparently in question. "What is this Ben Jerry's which is listed here?"
Sam gasped: heresy! "You haven't heard of Ben Jerry's?"
"I have not."
"Sir, we're going to have to order some ice cream for Teal'c."
Jack looked over at her, mouth quirking. "Not had enough dessert yet for one evening, Carter?"
Sam's cheeks grew pink but she stuck to her ground. "So it's vitally important to take Teal'c jello-wrestling but he can't have ice-cream?"
Jack held his hands out in defense. "Hey, I've said it before but the wrestling was his idea. We can have ice cream if you want: which flavours?"
Sam chose four varieties, defending her actions with a muttered, "He should try a selection!" She slipped outside briefly, to find when she returned that Teal'c had swapped places with Daniel, who was attempting to clean up the mess of wet towels. Their CO was rummaging in the fridge.
"Ah-ha!" Jack exclaimed. "I knew I had some beer in here!" He tossed a bottle to Sam, who barely caught it, and another at Daniel before taking one for himself.
"More alcohol?" Daniel queried, placing his bottle firmly away from him on the table.
"Some of us had to cut back as we were driving, Mom," Jack returned. "Anyway, you can't have pizza, or apparently ice cream, without beer."
"Ice cream?"
"Yeah - Carter here thinks it's vitally important to Teal'c's development that he tries some Haagen-Dazs or something."
"Ben Jerry's," Sam corrected. "There's a huge difference."
"I stand corrected."
They sat at the counter in silence, occasionally sipping at their beers.
Teal'c reappeared relatively quickly. "O'Neill, your supply of hot water is insufficient."
Jack stood up quickly. "Oh for crying out loud kids, did you have to leave me a cold shower?"
Sam tried to avoid staring at his torso. No more flirting! "I had to wash the jello out of my hair."
"You're a great host," Daniel commented as Jack headed up the stairs.
"Yeah sure you betcha," floated back down at them.
Daniel looked round at Sam and Teal'c. "Since he's being such a good host, he wouldn't mind if we went to sit in the family room, would he?"
"I do not imagine he would object."
Daniel paused briefly. "Teal'c, would you mind giving Sam and I a minute - I'm sure there's something on TV."
An eyebrow raised. "Indeed."
Sam looked at Daniel; he had taken his glasses off and was cleaning them with the edge of his borrowed T-shirt. Hesitating, he placed them back on.
"Sam, I'm so sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have tried to push you into talking; in fact, I wouldn't have if, well..."
Sam looked at him; his brow was furrowed and his blue eyes were full of self-reproach.
"Daniel, you're not responsible for what happened. It's just that it's not something I feel comfortable discussing." She paused, reaching out to take his hand. "You know that things can't change."
He just held her gaze. "Are you okay now?"
She forced a smile. "I'm fine. Desperate for some ice cream," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. "It had better not be melted when it gets here!"
He smiled in response. "Surely you don't want it rock solid?" He paused for a second, flushing, and then snickered.
They walked into the sitting room, bickering amiably and settled in, watching an old musical that was playing on one of the movie channels.
The bell rang and they heard footsteps as Jack bounced down the stairs. "I'll get it!"
Sam heard the door open and a voice exclaim, "For crying out loud, how long does it take to deliver pizza?" A hum of conversation followed, interrupted at one point by a bark of laughter. More conversation and the sound of the door shutting and something heavy dropping onto a surface.
Jack walked back into the sitting room slowly, without the pizza but with one hand behind his back and a huge grin spread across his face. Slowly he brought his hand round, a scrap of scarlet silk dangling from his outstretched fingers. This was a moment he wanted to savour.
"Carter, I don't suppose you'd be able to tell me what these panties were doing on my porch?"
*****
Chapter Eleven: Taking a moment
Jack was still holding the red knickers, which must have fallen down from the window sill. Sam closed her eyes in mortification, feeling her cheeks flame to nearly the same colour. She'd always resolved to keep her feelings on a professional level, only to soften into mush whenever he stole her doohickeys or invited her fishing. Or flaunted her underwear in front of her team. That should piss her off, not turn her on. She might as well face it, she was fighting a losing battle.
Opening her eyes again, she saw that her CO's grin had widened, if anything, and Teal'c's eyebrow looked as if it was about to shoot off into orbit. Her only consolation was that Daniel was even redder than she, if such a thing was possible.
"Jack, how about we give you guys some privacy to talk things over?" Daniel mumbled.
Sam started: she wasn't quite ready to have a one-to-one with her CO yet. "Daniel, we're fine. Have they dried yet?" Sam asked, abruptly turning to her CO. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say, but at least she wasn't apologising. "I didn't want to wear damp underwear tomorrow. And did our order arrive okay?"
Jack felt a sudden urge to start fidgeting but, given that he was still holding Sam's panties, felt it best to control himself. Ever since they'd been kicked out of the restaurant earlier, he'd been trying to avoid embarrassing Carter. But, when paying for the pizza the delivery guy had commented on the underwear lying on his deck and he'd been unable to prevent himself from winding up his 2IC one last time. After her initial flush however she'd seemed unbothered by the situation; it didn't seem fair, given that he was feeling distinctly bothered himself!
"Not exactly. And yeah, it did. Uh, Carter, what do you want to do with these?"
Sam raised an eyebrow. No point in backing down now, right? "Why don't you hang them on the porch rail: they should be dry by morning. Daniel and I can bring the food through."
Jack slowly walked outside and did as Sam had suggested - hell, as she'd told him to. He didn't get it: every time he thought he'd managed to embarrass her, she had managed to turn the situation round and leave him feeling uneasy, which wasn't a typical Jack O'Neill reaction to anything.
-
After finishing the pizza the team relaxed in Jack's sitting-room, each curled up with a tub of ice-cream in hand. Teal'c seemed to be enjoying his BenJerry's enormously: he'd finished off half his tub of Chocolate Fudge Brownie and had swapped it for Daniel's Cookie Dough, which was largely untouched. Daniel had opened his mouth to protest but, facing a glare from the much larger jaffa, decided not to complain.
Sam was lying on the couch, arms and legs sprawled, clearly savouring her Full Vermonty. "So, what do you think of the ice cream, Teal'c?" she asked.
"I find it to be far superior to most other kinds, Samantha Carter."
"You should check out a scoop shop: there are something like forty flavours available."
"Indeed?" The jaffa's lips curved upwards. "Thank you for your advice"
"No problem."
Teal'c then attempted to reach out for Sam's tub, but she slapped the back of his hand with her spoon. "Teal'c, much as I love you, no man comes between me and my ice cream. Try the Colonel's."
"Hey," Jack retorted. "Who's the commanding officer here?"
"Who suggested the BenJerry's in the first place?" Sam sucked the ice cream off her spoon lingeringly; Jack gulped. Between his lovely 2IC and his scary jaffa, he had no choice but to accept the depleted carton which Teal'c passed him and hand his over in return.
-
Later on, once the ice cream had all been demolished, Sam went out to sit on the porch, hugging her knees. It was a clear night and she could see the stars shining. She started as a voice spoke from behind her:
"You can see those better from the roof, ya know? Besides," Jack smiled, "There are fewer distractions!"
Sam had to laugh: her panties were still hanging from one of the railings.
"I'm actually happy down here."
Jack looked at her, his T-shirt hanging off one of her shoulders. "Mind having some company?"
"Sure."
He sat beside her, close but not quite touching. "So."
"So," she echoed.
He paused: he hated trying to find the words to express himself. "I'm sorry if I wrecked your evening," he finally forced out. "It was supposed to be fun. You were supposed to have fun."
She took her time to reply. "I did have fun. And I could say the same thing to you, about the wrecking part." She hesitated and then scooched a tiny bit closer. "I got angry before you did."
"Yeah, but it wasn't quite as dramatic," he joked back.
Silence.
"Why did you come," he suddenly asked. "I never expected you to and then I thought you'd find an excuse to back out, but you didn't."
She hesitated. "Do you ever get tired of it all? Saving the world, living on base?"
His lips quirked. "You don't have to spend all your time on base, you know?" He sobered. "Of course I do, why do you think I enjoy fishing in the depths of Minnesota so much?"
She sighed. "Lately I feel like something's missing. I'm fed up of being the resident head-geek of the SGC who has to fix every problem with the Stargate, cope with a busy mission schedule and redesign naquadah reactors in her spare time. I guess I feel that's all I do at the moment and it bothers me."
Jack turned to face her, brown eyes intent on hers. "Carter, if you're feeling overworked I'm sure we can delegate some of your workload to someone else. Siler, Felger: there are other geeks on base too you know."
Sam giggled. "It's not that I don't want to work in my lab; I enjoy it. It's just that..."
"You're lonely," Jack filled in for her.
She paused. "How did you know?"
"I remember how it felt... coming home to Sarah and Charlie every night. Even though I spent weeks away from home, I knew that I had them to come back to." He shrugged. "And then they weren't there anymore, and even though I loved exploring new worlds, I missed not having them to come home to. In some ways I still do"
Sam shrank away, hugging herself more tightly. While she was happy to listen to the Colonel talking about his family, thinking about his ex-wife made her more than a little uncomfortable. She knew that they'd been very much in love; even when she had been trapped with Jack in Antarctica and he'd laid in her eyes, dying, he'd called out for Sarah.
"I'm sorry," she said, stiffly.
He ignored her words. "But the thing is, now I have you guys to come home to. To come home with." He placed his arm round her shoulders, delicately, as if he were afraid she would shrug off his touch.
"We're here for you Sam. Always."
She finally turned to him, finding his face close to her own, his lips hovering by her mouth. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to lean forward and brush them with hers. The kiss was slow and sweet, deepening as they familiarised themselves with each other's texture and taste.
Sam reluctantly pulled back, resting her head upon Jack's shoulder before he could move away.
"I only wish..."
His voice was sad. "I know." His arm tightened around her as they sat in silence and gazed up at the stars.
*****
Epilogue
Sam stood sharply to attention as General Hammond paced up and down the line of her team-mates, reminding her of her drill-master from the Academy. She forced herself to concentrate on his words.
"...an absolute disgrace! You are this facility's flagship team, frequently standing between this planet and its destruction, and you pull an amateur stunt like this!"
Sam tuned out. She'd been reprimanded before: while it stung, she knew that if she wasn't to brood for days, she'd be best off trying to only pay attention to the important parts. Plus she knew it was all pro forma: some of the other teams had pulled much worse stunts. The general was genuinely annoyed, but his anger wouldn't last for long.
That morning had been a disaster. The phone had rung at nine o'clock sharp, with Teal'c being the only one capable of answering. SG-1 had been ordered onto base for an important meeting at ten hundred hours, leaving them barely enough time to make it and change into suitable clothes.
"At least when you were thrown out of O'Malley's you were under alien influence, even if I couldn't explain that to the manager. This time you had no such excuse! Every time an officer misbehaves in public, it damages the name and reputation of the Air Force itself.!"
Sam winced: not only did she see the truth in his words, but her head was throbbing and she felt distinctly nauseous. They were all tired and hung-over, a fact that General Hammond had not failed to comment upon.
When Jack had realised that he'd failed to turn on the drier the night before, Sam had wanted to scream. He'd changed of course, and Danny and Teal'c had been fine in his old sweats, but his clothes were so big on Sam that she'd had to put her `clubbing gear' back on. After running through the corridors of the SGC, blushing from the wolf-whistles she'd received, she'd burst into a locker room full of half-naked marines. She'd had to change in her lab, while trying not to put on too good a show for the security cameras.
"Colonel O'Neill, from what I understand, your actions were particularly out of line! I want you to write a personal apology, both to the restaurant and to the individual involved."
Jack's lips tightened, but he didn't dare argue. "Yes sir!"
With that settled, the General appeared to wind down. "And why in God's name did you see fit to go to a jello-wrestling club in the first place?" he demanded.
Jack kept his face straight, but his eyes danced. "Sir, we were showing Teal'c an important aspect of earth culture," he replied.
"Culture!" the general exclaimed. "What's wrong with the theatre?"
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Daniel nudged him fiercely in the ribs. If he didn't get some coffee soon, there would be trouble!
Hammond sighed and lowered his voice. "May I suggest that next time you go on a team outing, you consider your choice of activity with more care. Dismissed!"
The team breathed a collected sigh of relief and shuffled towards the doorway.
"Oh Jack," the general called after them, "I wouldn't want you to forget that paperwork of yours. Make sure I have it by Monday."
"Yes sir!" Jack slowly left the office and joined his friends outside. They fell into step, heading towards the commissary for a well-needed breakfast.
Daniel looked at him worriedly. "Jack, the General will forget about this, won't he?"
Jack glanced at the younger man: despite his time at the SGC, Daniel still wasn't familiar with the nuances of military behaviour and the chain of command.
"Danny, he's probably more amused than anything. He just had to give us a chewing-down so that we wouldn't give any of the other airmen ideas."
"Oh." Daniel considered the idea briefly, face clearing.
"Anyway, what are you campers up to this evening? I thought we could have a repeat session at my place. I've got a paddling pool, we could buy the jello..."
"Jack!"
He ignored the protests. "Danny and Carter could take a turn in the ring. We could have a few other people over, get a real competition going." He paused. "We could even have toppings: Daniel could bring the chocolate sauce..."
"Forget it!"
"Whipped cream?" he implored, waggling his eyebrows.
"NO!" Daniel bit out.
Sam listened in disbelief: had Jack finally gone insane? Then she noticed that Teal'c had turned away slightly and that his shoulders were shaking. Realisation dawned on her: damn, that man had a good poker face! The corners of her mouth curved upwards, involuntarily.
Jack saw her expression change: finally! But instead of the smirk he'd expected, she gave him a huge grin, one of the ones that came from her eyes as well as her mouth and lit up her face. Thinking back to the last time he'd seen it, the night before while holding her in his arms, his features softened and he smiled back at her. Their eyes met and held.
He decided not to take offence at her assumption that he was pulling something really stupid: after all, he did have a track record of playing the fool. Thinking about that, he winced. And winced again: the hallways of the SGC were no place for long, lingering looks if he didn't want Carter to be reassigned. It was probably time to change the subject, lighten the mood a little. Wind Danny up some more.
"So, did any of you guys want copies of the pictures? I only ask because someone at the restaurant mentioned something about us having the camera to Hammond, and now he wants a full set on his desk on Monday."
Sam fought to keep a straight face as Daniel yelped. What Jack didn't realise was that she'd managed to slip the camera into her purse. Come Monday, pictures of him and Teal'c `fighting' would be decorating every notice board on base, even if she had to come in at oh-three hundred hours to achieve it.
Yup, she thought smugly. It had been a great evening: her various embarrassments notwithstanding. And next week she'd get to see her CO squirm. Now she just had to think of payback for the revenge he'd inevitably dish out: it wouldn't be safe for her to open her locker for weeks!
A bounce came into her step as they walked on. Yup, life was certainly going to be a bit more exciting for a while.
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