Fear And Trust
L.E. McMurray
Title: Fear And Trust
AUTHOR: L.E. McMurray
EMAIL: louiseellen@mcmurrayc.fsnet.co.uk
CATEGORY: Angst
PAIRING: Daniel/Sha're
SPOILERS: The Curse/ Absolute Power
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 4/ Sequel toThoughts And Words and Hearts And Minds
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: Some Torture [violence]
SUMMARY: After being injured on a mission Daniel starts behaving strangely. When Taris comes to visit SG1 discover something horrifying.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to Becky for making sure this made sense. All feedback is welcome. There is one more coming in this series if I ever get it finished. Enjoy
Colonel Jack O'Neill breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped onto the ramp deep within Cheyenne Mountain.
They were home.
It had been a long hard mission and they very nearly lost Daniel. He had been separated from them and by the time they had found him he had been badly tortured. Jack glanced over to where Daniel was staggering down the ramp. Teal'c was taking most of his weight but he was still upright while Sam lurched exhausted next to him.
"Welcome home SG1," Hammond said, as Janet Fraiser took Daniel into her care.
"General," Jack greeted him tiredly, "Briefing in an hour?"
Hammond nodded and watched as his flag team headed to get cleaned up.
Janet gently helped Daniel remove his jacket wincing as she saw the deep lacerations through his badly torn T-shirt.
As he sat down onto the bed she saw him start to sag. Janet caught him and made him lie down.
"Daniel I'm going to dress these cuts," she told him, "It might sting a little."
Silence answered her and with a small sigh she gently cleaned and dressed his wounds.
If she could have seen Daniel's face she had have been even more worried. His blue soulful eyes stared blankly ahead as he barely noticed where he was. The pain in his body was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his soul.
Jack couldn't sleep.
The briefing had been short but sour as they explained what had happened on P2X 151. He sighed and turned over trying to get comfortable. The natives had seemed friendly enough and they were pretty technologically advanced. They had taken Daniel, telling them that it was for a talk on their cultural history and by the time they had realised what had happened Daniel was in a bad way. He felt guilty as hell. They should have known, HE should have known. Janet refused to let Daniel out of her sight and had him doped up to his eyeballs before they had even finished the briefing so he had taken Janet's advice and come home.
Daniel was fine, they were all fine and would be back out on a mission soon enough. Things would get back to normal.
TWO MONTHS LATER.
Jack couldn't sleep.
He had noticed it more and more over the past few weeks how thin Daniel had become. At first he took it to be the effect of the drugs Janet had given him for his injuries but he had talked to the Doc and discovered Daniel had been off them for weeks.
Sam had told him that Daniel wasn't eating, not even his stash of candy bars had been touched for weeks.
Then he had seen Daniel as he changed, Jack could count every rib on his thin frame. But that wasn't the worst thing. Daniel barely talked to him anymore, barely even looked in his direction. What worried him even more was how violently Daniel had flinched when Jack had touched his shoulder.
He said Jack had startled him but Jack knew something was very wrong.
Daniel tossed fervently.
The nightmare surrounded him and he fought furiously in his sleep. He awoke gasping for air covered in sweat. A wave of nausea hit him and he managed to make it to the toilet just in time to throw up the limited contents of his stomach. When he finally stopped retching he sat shivering on his bathroom floor.
He couldn't take this much longer; he needed help. If only he knew how to ask but every time he tried something stopped him.
He needed help.
Usually when he needed help he turned to Jack but Jack was not an option. And the others, how could he tell them?
He wished he knew what to do.
General George Hammond waited at the bottom of the ramp as the Stargate began to dial. As the Gate opened the technician looked over, "Tok'ra IDC coming through sir."
"Open the Iris," Hammond ordered.
The Earths greatest defence spun majestically away from the event horizon and two figures stepped out.
Hammond smiled as they strolled down to meet him.
"Jacob," he greeted his old friend before turning to the young woman, "Taris. It's good to see you both again."
"Hey George," Jacob grinned, "Sorry about the intrusion."
"A pleasure to see you again," Taris smiled.
"So you're here for?" Hammond asked as he escorted them up the stairs.
"Well," Jacob shrugged, "It's my granddaughters birthday and I've been given some time off. Don't tell me Sam hasn't got the time off?"
Hammond chuckled, "She has had it booked for at least six months."
Jacob grinned, "Taris came for a visit also."
"If I am not intruding," Taris said, "A vacation was suggested by Jacob and I would appreciate a few days where each body has only one mind."
Hammond smiled, "You're always welcome Taris. SG1 will be pleased to see you."
Taris smiled warmly.
"General," Jack's voice floated through the room, "I was told you were...hi!"
Jack appeared in the briefing room and stopped when he saw the guests.
"Jacob," Jack grinned, "What's wrong this time?"
"Social call," Jacob laughed.
"Hi Taris," Jack hugged the young woman, "You look good."
She smiled at him before frowning, "What is wrong?" she asked, "Something is troubling you."
The three men looked at her in confusion.
Jack frowned, "Taris, can I talk to you?"
"Of course. If you would excuse us?" Taris took Jack's offered arm and left the room.
"I don't like the sound of this," Hammond said as he and Jacob looked dubiously at each other.
"Jack I am sorry about my directness," Taris apologised as soon as they were in his office, "But your mind is screaming it."
He dropped his head tiredly into his hands, "It's Daniel, I'm really worried about him."
"What has happened?"
Jack grimaced before launching into what had happened over the past two months. Taris listened quietly.
"He is that ill?"
"I could play his ribs as a xylophone," Jack sighed, "He doesn't talk to me at all. He refuses to look at me. If I ask him something I get a one-syllable answer if I'm lucky. Something is wrong."
"Would you like me to talk to him?"
Jack smiled relieved, "He'll talk to you. It's a good thing you're here."
"It looks like Jacobs invitation came at a good time."
Daniel wearily walked through the several security posts barely noticing the people around him. He hadn't slept properly for such a long time and it was getting worse. Automatically he headed to his office; there he could lose his mind in his work.
As he walked in he noticed someone sitting at his desk with their back to him.
"Hello?" he said, wondering who it could be.
"Hello Daniel," Taris smiled as she stood to face him.
Daniel smiled for the first time in the past few months as she hugged him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked before frowning slightly, "I'm not in danger am I?"
"You tell me," her eyes held his tightly, "I can feel something is bothering you and your appearance tells me all I need to know."
He sagged into a seat.
"When did you last eat properly?" she demanded gently.
He shrugged, "I don't remember."
"What about Jack?"
Daniel flinched violently as she mentioned SG1's leader.
"Come with me," she took his hand firmly, "You are going to see Dr. Fraiser."
"I don't need Janet," he protested, "I'm fine."
"Daniel, humour me."
Too tired to argue he relented and let her lead him to the infirmary.
"He seemed distracted," Sam said, as they sat in the briefing room, she had decided to go to San Diego on a later flight than Jacob, "I thought it was just the pressure of the past few months. Shifu's visit, his old friend being taken over by the Goa'uld."
"There is more to it," Teal'c added, "He has avoided O'Neill at all times."
Jack frowned, "What did you find out Taris?"
Taris leaned back in her seat, "He is tired, has not been eating properly and is terrified of you Jack."
"Didn't you read his mind?" Jack snapped.
"Jack, I cannot enter Daniel's mind without his permission," Taris reminded him, "All I can do is read his feelings."
Sam pursed her lips thoughtfully, "This all started after P2X 151. More happened to him than we realised."
"We must discover what that was," Teal'c stated, "Before it destroys him."
"Janet has him sedated at the moment," Sam said, "Do you think he would give you permission to read his mind?"
"From what I can ascertain something is stopping him from talking about this," Taris told them, "It will most probably prevent him letting me enter his mind."
Jack scowled, "There has to be someway to help him?"
"Dreams," Taris said suddenly.
"What?" "Dreams are a different part of the mind," she explained, "I should be able to see what he is dreaming without permission."
They all sat silently digesting the information.
"Will there be any danger to you?" Jack demanded.
Taris shook her head, "It is more like a surface scan. It is similar to being able to hear whichever member of the Tok'ra is not in control. But it is limited."
"We should try it sir," Sam said, "It may be the only idea we have."
Janet watched the four people troop into her infirmary.
"Daniel is still fast asleep," she told them sternly, "You don't need to be here."
"Good," Jack said, "Is he dreaming?"
Janet looked at him dubiously, "Yes," she answered slowly.
"Taris do your thing," Jack said.
With a slight shake of her head she walked over to the bed where Daniel lay. His pale face was twisted in pain.
Taris gently placed her hand on his forehead and closed her eyes as she lightly brushed her mind against his sub-conscious one.
The laughter filled her ears as pain filled her. They didn't ask any questions just hit and beat their hostage.
Looking round the face of the attacker was shown to her.
Taris flew back away from the bed. Teal'c caught her as she shook violently.
"What did you see?" Jack asked urgently.
Janet placed a calming hand on his arm, "Give her a few minutes," she told him.
Taris, still being held by Teal'c, took a few deep breaths.
"Close your eyes and empty your mind," Teal'c told her, "Let your mind sit there."
She relaxed listening to Teal'c's calming words, after a few moments she opened her eyes again.
"We need to talk."
Once more they sat around the briefing room table.
"Jack, I must know what happened on that Planet," Taris said, "Everything."
Jack sighed, "We got there and we were welcomed by the natives. They were friendly and they invited us to stay."
"We were given a place to camp," Sam continued, "The leader invited Daniel to learn about their history. It was...there was no indication of any danger."
"We were surrounded by Jaffa," Teal'c concluded, "We fought our way to Daniel Jackson and then to the Stargate."
"So there was a Goa'uld on the planet?" Taris asked.
"We didn't see anyone," Sam sighed, "And the Jaffa were a mixed bunch."
"Taris did you see who it was?" Jack asked brusquely, "Who did Daniel see?"
She turned an even gaze on him, "You."
"Wh...What?" Jack choked, "Me?"
"He saw you as his torturer," she told him, "And there is more to it. From the very limited access I had to his mind I think there is something blocking him asking for help."
"Hold it," Jack snapped, "You said he was a Tul...Tuln...Tully..."
"Tul'than," Taris corrected.
"Whatever, you said his mind couldn't be attacked like this."
"By a Mind-walker no. But this could have been implanted by technology," Taris explained, "He would have no defence against that."
"Is there anything we can do?" Sam asked, "We can't leave him like this. He's a wreck."
Taris chewed her lip as she thought, "The Tok'ra have technology which will aid memory recall."
"We've encountered it," Sam told her.
"I may be able to help in conjunction with the device," Taris said, "If you wish we can try."
"It's the only option we have," Jack said.
"Doctor, what is your assessment?" Hammond asked.
Hammond and Janet had joined SG1 and Taris after she had sent for the memory device.
"He is dangerously malnourished and he is exhausted," Janet said, "I don't know how I missed it."
"When did you last see him?" Taris asked.
Janet shook her head.
"Whatever is in his mind kept him separate from you all," Taris explained, "If this had not been caught we may have been too late. Even now we must do something as quickly as possible otherwise he will soon try and kill himself."
"Can you help him?" Hammond asked.
"I shall try my best."
"I'll call you as soon as the Tok'ra arrive," Hammond told her.
"Janet, you know we cannot have him sedated," Taris said, "You cannot keep him in a dreamless sleep."
With a sigh Janet headed back to the infirmary.
"Taris, can you assure me we are doing the right thing?" Hammond asked.
"I can assure you if we do not do this now it would be kinder to put a gun to his head and pull the trigger."
Daniel's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. Although Janet had stopped sedating him he wasn't allowed to leave the infirmary but he didn't want to anyway.
"Please Jack," he cried, "Please stop."
But it didn't stop. Pain ripped through him as confusion filled him. Why was his friend doing this? Daniel couldn't understand this, Jack was his best friend; the one person he trusted completely.
The only thing he knew in his life was now gone and numbness filled him. He didn't care anymore.
"Daniel," a gentle voice called to him snapping him out of his memories.
Looking over he saw Taris standing next to him.
"Hi," he whispered.
"Daniel, I know what you see when you dream," she told him, watching as he winced in pain, "We are going to help you I promise."
She pursed her lips as she thought, "I should be able to override it temporarily. What do you wish to dream?"
"Sha're," he whispered in anguish, "I don't remember what she looks like."
Tears filled Taris's eyes as she nodded, "Close your eyes. Just let your mind drift," very gently she reached out and placed a mental block so that all he saw was a dream of his wife.
She moved away with tears streaming down her cheeks. As she left the infirmary she ran into Jack. With one look at her he gently guided her into the observation room overlooking Daniel's bed.
"I am sorry," she sniffed, "I just..."
"Showed your human?" Jack replied.
She gave him a sad smile, "So much pain in his life. I cannot help feeling I could have spared him so much."
Jack gently hugged her, "You can't take all the guilt."
"He could not remember her face," she sighed, "And I could have saved her. I have met people in love before but something about them was special. They should never have been separated. No one should suffer like that."
Jack looked over to where his best friend lay and was amazed to see a small smile on his pale face.
"You did something," he said.
Taris nodded, "It is only temporary the other dreams will return but hopefully we shall fix this."
Taris and Jack arrived in the Gateroom as the Stargate burst open.
"Elan," Taris greeted the Tok'ra who came through, "Thank you for bringing this."
"Anise asks that you return it as soon as possible," Elan said.
Taris frowned and her green eyes flashed, "Tell Anise I shall return it when we have finished with it," she told him sharply.
Elan nodded with a quick flash of a smile, he turned to wait for the reopening of the Gate.
"Anise is one of the most annoying beings I have ever encountered," Taris told Jack as they headed for the infirmary.
"You feel that too?" Jack grinned.
Taris smiled quickly before turning serious as they entered the infirmary.
"Do you have it?" Janet asked looking up.
"Yes, is he awake yet?" Jack asked.
"Not yet."
"Let us get this ready before we wake him," Taris ordered as she set up the equipment. She then walked over to the bed feeling guilty at waking him from such a contented dream but she had to.
As he woke up Daniel seemed more at peace than he had since she had arrived.
"Daniel sit up," Janet ordered helping him.
Taris placed the memory disc at Daniel's temple. He winced as it connected.
"Okay, Daniel I must remove the memory wall," Taris told him gently.
"No," Daniel cried, "Don't. I...I can't go through that."
"Daniel, the wall will disintegrate itself," Taris explained, "It will be worse if we wait."
He swallowed but nodded.
Taris dropped the wall and Daniel's face twisted in pain and horror once more.
Switching on the holographic imager Jack's stomach lurched as he saw Daniel's memory.
"Okay Daniel," Taris said gently, "As I adjust this we shall start working through the full memory."
Jack looked up to see Sam, Teal'c and Hammond watching from the Observation room.
"Daniel," Taris said, "I want you to think back to before anything happened. You had set up camp."
Daniel's face screwed up as he concentrated hard.
The screen blinked and the image appeared.
"They seem friendly enough," Daniel said as he sat down.
Jack shrugged, "Suppose."
"You do not think they are being completely honest with us," Teal'c said.
"Dunno," Jack muttered, "Something is just bugging me."
A knock made them all look up.
"I am sorry to intrude," Pirithon, their host said as he came in, "But I believe you wished to know more about our history Dr. Jackson?"
Daniel's head tilted with interest, "Of course."
"Then please join me," Pirithon indicated.
"I'll be back soon," Daniel told them as he left.
The screen flickered and once again it settled on the image of Jack attacking Daniel.
Daniel cried out at the pain remembered. Taris gently pushed her mind against the barriers.
Suddenly she cried out and jumped away from the bed.
Jack grabbed her as she shook her head, "I cannot do it," she sighed.
Janet removed the memory device letting Daniel lie down again. Gently Taris replaced the wall in his mind so he could dream of his wife.
"What happened?" Hammond demanded.
"I could not get through," Taris said, "There is a block that has been placed there by technology and his abilities as a Tul'than has strengthened it. Whoever is behind this wished him to suffer greatly before he took his own life."
"There has to be something you can do," Sam said frustrated, "There has to be."
"I cannot see any other options," Taris sighed, "Give me some time and I shall think of something."
"Do we have time?" Hammond asked.
"I have placed a temporary block it should last for a short time before it breaks down," Taris explained, "I am going to talk with Janet to see what we could have missed."
Jack stood watching Daniel as he slept. Seeing what Daniel thought had happened made him sick. No wonder Daniel was so afraid of him.
"How are you?" Taris asked coming to stand next to him.
Jack hung his head, "Why do people always want to attack Daniel's mind?" he snapped annoyed, "He is so damn smart and those sons of bitches keep trying to take away the one thing he has left. After Sha're died..." Taris clapped her hands together suddenly, "Of course."
"What?"
"Jack, you are a genius," she told him, "Come on. I have an idea."
"Taris you have an suggestion?" Hammond asked, as they were all once again sitting around the table.
"Do you remember when I was first joining the Tok'ra?" she asked.
They all nodded.
"Before I left I gave Daniel a small gift."
"You said it was part of Sha're," Sam said.
"And it was," Taris confirmed, "When I helped Sha're somehow I received a part of her mind. I have never been able to work out how she did it. I am assuming that it was so she could survive somewhere if the Goa'uld managed to beat her."
"How can this help Daniel?" Jack snapped.
"I am coming to that," she told him, "I gave Daniel a part of this. A part of Sha're's mind which I can connect with and help him."
"Will this work?" Hammond asked.
"Well I shall need SG1's help, their bond is important."
"What exactly will we be doing?" Jack asked as they stood around Daniel's bed.
"You knew Sha're?" Taris asked him.
"Yeah."
"How well?"
Jack shook his head, "I knew her pretty well, I suppose."
"Good, what about you two?"
"I spoke to her whilst on Abydos before the child was born," Teal'c told her.
"Not really," Sam said, "I met her very briefly before Apophis took her." Taris nodded, "Excellent. This should work."
"What should?" Jack was getting edgy.
"I am going to get his wife to help us," Taris told them, "It is the one thing that should completely penetrate the barrier these people have placed in his mind."
"Will that work?" Sam asked.
"It should, Sam since you knew her least you will be our connection to the outside world," Taris told her, "Teal'c will connect with you and Jack will be with me to pull Daniel out."
Jack stared at her confused but linked hands with her and Teal'c as Teal'c took Sam's hand.
"Are you ready?"
Daniel looked around mystified. He was standing in the Abydos Gateroom. The last thing he remembered was being in the infirmary.
"Dan'iel," a voice he had missed so much called to him.
He turned and felt his mouth drop open in shock, "Sha're?"
"Yes husband," she smiled.
"Is this real?"
"Technically yes," Taris said, "Technically no."
"Taris, how did you, how did I...what is going on?" Daniel cried in annoyance.
"This is the only way to do this," Taris told him, "You do remember what is happening?"
Daniel closed his eyes and shuddered as the memory flashed through his mind.
"Oh God," he cried horrified, he pressed himself back against the wall.
"Dan'iel," Sha're said coming closer to him, "You must let us help you."
Daniel looked at them both, unsure.
"Daniel, you were...tortured on that planet and something was implanted within your mind," Taris told him, "Because you are a Tul'than I cannot just remove what was implanted."
"Daniel," Jack's voice came suddenly.
Daniel jumped away, "No," he cried, "Don't come any closer."
"Why are you afraid?" Sha're asked coming closer to him, "O'Neill would never hurt you."
"I...I...I," Daniel stuttered as Sha're placed her arms around him, leaning on her shoulder he shook.
"Dan'iel you must remember what really happened," she held his face in her hands, "You must try."
"Help me," Daniel whispered to her.
"Jack come here," Taris ordered as Sha're held Daniel's hand tightly.
"You must work together," Sha're said, "Dan'iel nothing can hurt you here."
He looked at her desperately.
"I promise," she whispered, softly kissing his forehead.
Sha're took Jack's hand and he took Daniel's other hand.
"We shall be watching this like a projected image," Taris told them.
"Like a TV?" Jack asked.
"Precisely," she turned to Daniel, "Are you ready?"
Still shaking slightly Daniel nodded.
Jack winced as the image of him attacking Daniel appeared in front of them. He grasped Daniel's hand tighter as Daniel tried to pull away.
"Sha're, it is time," Taris said, "You must find the truth."
The image suddenly wavered.
"You said you were once slaves of the Gould," Daniel said as he walked with his host.
"Yes, we were," Pirithon said, leading Daniel into a building, "Now we serve willingly." "What?" Daniel said turning to see several Jaffa standing in front of him. As he tried to run he was grabbed and thrown to his knees.
"You kneel before me once more," the Gould said to him with laughter in its voice, "This time shall be different."
Daniel looked up sadly, "I'm so sorry Sarah."
Osiris looked down at him disdainfully, "You are more trouble than you are worth."
Daniel winced as he felt something being placed against his temple.
"Killing you now would be too simple," Osiris strode around him, "But you shall know great pain before you take your own life."
Daniel suddenly sagged forward. As Jack caught him Daniel clutched his friend.
"Oh God Jack, I'm sorry," he cried frantically.
"It wasn't your fault," Jack told him, "It's over now. Isn't it?"
"Yes," Taris nodded, "We found the truth the memory block is gone."
"It is time to return to your friends," Sha're told Daniel.
Turning to her he frowned, "How did this happen?"
"Taris shall explain that," she told him, "But I am always here."
She wrapped her arms around him and very gently kissed him.
Daniel opened his eyes in shock. Standing around him were his team and Taris all watching him worriedly.
"Daniel?" Jack asked gently.
Daniel looked over at his friend, "I'm sorry," he whispered as tears filled his eyes, "God, Jack I'm sorry."
Jack drew the younger man into a gentle embrace.
"It's okay. It wasn't your fault," Jack reassured him gently rocking him.
Sam gently placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder while Teal'c placed his hand on Daniel's back. With all three supporting him Daniel let go of all his pain.
"Would you explain exactly what happened?" Hammond asked Taris after she had slipped away.
"Sha're found out what really happened," she said simply.
Hammond looked bemused, "How?"
"She was able to get past the mind block."
"This was due to what you gave Dr. Jackson before you left," Hammond said.
"Actually what I told the rest of SG1 though not exactly a lie was only a half-truth," she confessed.
"How so?"
"Sha're did leave a part of herself with me and I gave some of it to Daniel but I had no need to," Taris told him, "She was already in there. I always had my suspicions about Sha're."
Hammond frowned, "What do you mean?"
"I have always said they were meant to be together and now I know why," Taris looked down at Daniel, "He is a Tul'than and Sha're was a Mind-Walker. Not a trained one but between them they connected like no one else. And their love strengthened it."
"I thought that Mind-Walkers couldn't be taken as hosts," Hammond said.
"Trained Mind-Walkers cannot be taken but Sha're could never have been trained," Taris told him, "Her connection to Daniel was instinctive."
"Are you ever going to tell him?"
"Do you think he should be told?" Taris asked, "Told that if she had been trained slightly this never would have happened? It shall hurt him more than anything."
Hammond nodded as he looked down on SG1 still comforting their civilian member.
"Chevron Seven locked."
The Stargate burst open ready for Jacob and Taris to return to the Tok'ra. SG1 stood at the bottom of the ramp with them.
"That's three times I've had to thank you for saving my life," Daniel said to Taris, "I wish I had some way to repay you."
Taris hugged him tightly, "Just promise me you'll look after yourself."
"I promise."
Taris quickly glanced at Jack who gave her a reassuring nod he'd be there for Daniel.
Jacob hugged his daughter, "Look after yourself kiddo."
"You too Dad," Sam smiled, "And you Selmak."
"Selmak says see you soon," Jacob smiled before he turned and offered his arm to Taris.
With a nod to SG1 she locked eyes with Hammond who nodded slowly before she took Jacob's arm and they turned and walked through the Stargate.
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