Open Feelings
Open Feelings
by Kitty S
Title: Open Feelings
Author: Kitty S
Email: kittystrawberries@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Season: any Season
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary: Jacks back
Sequel to: Ruff Ruff
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Sam was having a hard time dealing with her body, sure she has been injured before where she needed help getting around or was dependent on others, but it was never permanent. And the pain, when she was injured she'd feel pain, and it was a constant reminder that she made it and was alive. What she had now was dullness, she doesn't even feel any pain from whatever she had, and she was always drained, and tired from nothing. It was starting to take a toll to her emotional state, especially when she had a hard time caring the dog food. Actually, she dragged it, across from where Janet has left it to the kitchen cupboard where she wanted it. She was immediately tired after that, she turned pale and had beads of sweat on her forehead. Sam sat heavily on her couch with a novel in her hand and Baby lying across her lap when the there was a knock at her door. She sighed, the thought of getting up again and walking again made her tired already.
When Sam made a move to get up, Baby yawned and joined her side and walked with her to the door, as if he's starting his duties to protect her. Sam opened the door and when she saw Jack a soft gasp escaped from her, he was the last person she expected to be knocking on her door. Baby's fur was arched and he was on full alert hearing Sam's response and growled. "Whoa doggy, I come in peace." Jack held up both hands to show the dog and looked to Sam with nervous eyes.
Sam patted Baby's head and tugged at her collar, "Shh... it's okay Baby." She looked up at Jack who was staring at her intently. "Umm, would you like to come in sir?"
"Is it safe?"
She smiled; the Jack O'Neill charms still had the same effect on her. "Come on in." He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly, and only sat when she did herself.
After a few minutes of silence Sam spoke up, not wanting to feel uncomfortable any longer. "Is there something you wanted sir?" Baby sat by her once again on the couch, his big front paws draped over her legs.
"I thought that I'd come by to see how you're doing and to talk a little. We have a lot to talk about don't you think?"
Sam mistook what he said and apologized for what had happened and confessed the whole story of when she went to Washington, the day she spent with Tom, and her life before the SGC. "But you have to know Jack, I went to tell him in person that I was in love with you, to get closure for the both of us. So we can both move on, my life with you and his with whoever. I was never going to pursue the life I had before you, I just wanted to say goodbye." She sounded so sincere, Jack felt such guilt. "You know I love you." And now he was an ass.
"I think I already knew that you loved me, and I was afraid that you'd leave me for him. To live the life that was taken from you."
"I don't know how many times I have to say this for you to believe me, but I would have never left you."
"Do you love him?"
He was making things only more difficult then it already was but he had to know. Sam expected him to ask this and didn't hesitate or lie. "I think that I will always love him. But that doesn't mean I love you any less."
`She still loves him. Why am I so jealous? She already told me that she still loves me. But still...' Jack thought. He fidgeted in his seat. His expression was clear, he was still hurt when he heard that.
Sam sighed. "I don't know what else to say... and if you had doubted me that much, then..." She cleared her throat and moved closer to her dog, as if he would give her the strength to say her last words. "then I guess we weren't as close as I thought we were."
"I guess I'm not being fair to you, because I know that if you asked me if I still loved Sarah my answer would have been the same as yours." Jack smiled. "Can we try to work it out? I couldn't see my life without you and I'd do anything to try to be a part of your life again. I love you so much."
Sam smiled, she felt her heart banging in her chest, hearing those precious words from Jack made all the misery in her be lifted from her and gave her the most wonderful feeling in the world. Jack moved closer to her, wanting to touch her face, just to be near her. When he reached up to touch her beautiful face, Baby growled, bringing sweet laughter from Sam's lips.
"You think this is funny?" It was actually funny, but he would never admit it. "I can see you have a new body guard."
"Well someone has to protect me." That didn't come out the way she intended, but it was true, Jack had hurt her with his painful words and sarcasm.
His face fell, this would have come up soon or later, they were talking about Sam's mistake and he realized then that he had ones that were a mile longer than hers. "I'm sorry. I..." He didn't know how to amend his harshness towards her and thankfully she interrupted him.
"It's okay, I guess I can understand." She wasn't totally over it, but nothing good would come out of this if she dragged it on. Besides, Jack had come to her, (although a bit late) and tried to make things better.
It was getting late, Sam was getting enormously tired, and she couldn't help but close her eyes for a while. "Tired?" His voiced was soft.
She nodded. "I guess I should be going then, let you rest." He got up almost a bit too fast, getting nervous again.
"No," She opened her eyes, and looked at him adoringly. "you can stay if you want."
"Uh, are you sure you don't mind?"
"Of course not, I want you to."
"Okay." Sam nudged Baby awake and tried to get up, in an instant Jack came by her side and helped her up and held her steadily to her bedroom with Baby closely behind. Sam fell asleep in Jack's loving arms. When Jack heard a noise from behind, he twisted his head to see that the dog was staring at them with a tilted head. Looking like a little child trying to understand something new.
He kissed the women he loved on her cheek and fell asleep himself, smiling to himself to have her in his arms.
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