Don't Eat Anything!
Don't Eat Anything!
by DragonReader
Summary: "Really Cam, how many times have you read our mission reports? What's the one thing that really should have stuck out, especially in this situation?”
Category: Humor
Season: Season 9
Pairing: Team
Rating: FAM
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 08/22/06
"Off-World Activation" the klaxon blared into the control room. Sgt. Harriman glanced up to General Landry and stated, "It's SG-1's signal, sir."
He received the nod. "Open the iris" came the usual command from the General.
Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter was the first through the gate, which was unusual enough as it was, but since she was coughing and holding her T-shirt up over her nose, General Landry rushed down to the embarkation room to determine what was going on.
As he neared her, the rest of the team finished stepping through the Stargate, also coughing and holding their shirts over their faces. Colonel Carter turned to Colonel Mitchell, "Really Cam, how many times have you read our mission reports? What's the one thing that really should have stuck out, especially in this situation?"
"Don't eat anything!" Daniel finished for her, glaring at an increasingly amused Cameron Mitchell.
"What's going on?" inquired General Landry.
"General, I regret to inform you that it has become apparent that something has died within Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c informed the befuddled General.
"What?!?"
The next sound that was heard in the Gateroom was something that only could be described as a wet hissing whine. Then the General noticed that Teal'c, Dr. Daniel Jackson, and Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter promptly put as much distance between themselves and Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell as they could. The next thing General Landry noticed was his eyes watering and the worst odor he has ever experienced assailed him. Sheepishly, Mitchell raised his hand, acknowledging his responsibility. The security defense team suddenly took several steps back and dropped their weapons to cover their noses like the rest of SG-1 was doing.
"Oh, Gawd, Colonel, that came from you? What did they feed you?"
"Sorry, General, it looked so much like my sweet ole' Grannies Famous Southern Greens, that I just couldn't resist."
With murder in his eye, General Landry ordered, "If you don't get to the infirmary immediately, I will personally choose the location where Dr. Lam will find the industrial air freshener to give you an enema with."
Sgt Harriman, having observed all this from upstairs, decided that he was suddenly very glad that his station was in the control room and not in the Gateroom or anywhere near the infirmary.
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