Welcome To The Club, Sam
Welcome To The Club, Sam
by Traci
TITLE: Welcome To The Club, Sam
AUTHOR: Traci
EMAIL: traci_ann@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: huh... um, humor definitely, S/J friendship and then some
SPOILERS: None that I'm aware of
SEASON / SEQUEL: Again, none that I can think of
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: male/female relationship
SUMMARY: Explaining Sam's recent mood swings to Teal'c
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis, Sam/Jack archives, otherwise email me
DISCLAIMER: Don't belong to me, if I could borrow RDA... um, nevermind. Belong to Gekko, Showtime I suppose, um, huh, guess I should look more into that.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Three guesses what time of the month it was when I got this idea. I did read another archived story dealing with Sam and PMS the day after I wrote this one so no infringement on that story intended whatsoever!!!
DEDICATION:To all the women who have to deal with PMS and all the men who have to deal with the women hehehehe.
Major Samantha Carter sighed and rested her head on the lab desk.
"Everything alright, Carter?" Colonel Jack O'Neill asked, standing in the doorway.
"Fine," she mumbled without looking up.
He stood there looking at for a moment before approaching. "Carter?"
She looked up and hissed, "I said, I'm fine, Sir."
"Whoa, okay." He held up his hands. "I'll just be going now."
She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir."
"It's alright. I've dealt with this before," he grinned.
"I've never snapped at you..."
"PMS."
She felt her face burn as she blushed. She was not having this conversation with her commanding officer. "I..."
"I was married for fifteen years, Sam."
"It's not PMS. I just haven't been sleeping."
He continued to smile and that only infuriated her more. "Why don't you go see the Doc. We've just been assigned a mission for 1300 hours."
"Great."
Now he was becoming concerned. "Sam, are you sure you're alright."
"Yes."
He nodded and turned to leave, nearly running into Teal'c and Doctor Daniel Jackson coming into the lab.
"Sam," Daniel started. "I need you to look at..."
She stood up. "Can't I get any peace in this place?" she yelled as she pushed past them.
Daniel stood dumbfounded.
"Is Major Carter alright?" Teal'c asked.
"Yeah, just a bout of PMS."
Daniel's head turned quickly to him. "And Sam told you this?"
"No, but Sara used to get like this."
"Um, Jack, don't you think we would have noticed before?"
He shrugged. "I don't understand women, so maybe you could explain how it all works."
"What is this PMS and is Major Carter going to recover from it?"
Jack's eyes lit up. "Daniel?"
"What? Oh no, I am NOT explaining this one!"
"But you're the doctor and scientist."
"Jack, this is Sam. I....no, I'm not going to."
Teal'c continued to look back and forth between his team members. "Is this a disease?"
"Oh yeah you could say that," Jack said.
Daniel adjusted his glasses. "Teal'c, did your wife ever, um, have regular mood swings?"
"Mood swings?"
"Yeah, like how Carter just yelled at us for no reason. Did your wife ever do that?"
"No."
Jack patted Daniel's shoulder. "Looks like you've got your work cut out for you."
"Jack, this is Sam. I can't discuss this about her."
"Fine, think of her as your sister."
"Jack!"
"Well, I'm not explaining it."
Teal'c continued to watch the men in silence as they argued who would explain.
Meanwhile
Infirmary
"Janet, I can't believe he would just assume..." Sam sighed once again as she sat on the bed.
"Come on, Sam, you can't tell me you've never had mood swings and cramps before."
"No, never. And it just doesn't make sense that I would start getting PMS at my age!"
"Well, you're not over the hill yet, Sam." Janet smiled and handed her two pills. "These should help."
"Can't you run some tests or something? I'm sure it's something different." She gulped down the pills.
Janet laughed. "When are you due?"
"What?"
"You know."
"Fine, next week."
"Then, Sam, I'd say welcome to the club."
Sam jumped off the bed and started pacing. "I can't. I don't have time for mood swings and stuff. What about the guys?"
"Oh, I don't think they'll get PMS anytime soon."
Sam glared at Janet.
"They've all been married before. I'm quite sure they understand."
"Can't you just give me a shot or something?"
"Don't we all wish it were that easy. No, Sam, there's nothing."
"Wonderful." She grabbed the bottle of Midol and left.
Meanwhile
Back in Sam's lab
"So, Major Carter will have these mood swings every month?"
Daniel threw up his arms. "Yes. That is what I have been trying to say."
"And it is not a disease that could hurt her?"
"Us maybe, but not her," Jack offered.
"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson said she would be alright. Is it possible for this PMS to hurt us?"
Daniel glared at Jack. "Thank you." He turned back to Teal'c. "No, it can't hurt us..."
"Nice to know I'm the topic of conversation."
All three men stopped and turned to see Sam standing in the doorway looking more than a little annoyed. "Don't we have a mission to be getting ready for?"
"Uh, um..." Daniel looked at Jack and Teal'c then cautiously approached the door. "Yeah, we really should be um getting ready. Bye, Sam." He bolted out and nearly ran down the hallway.
Teal'c looked after him curiously before meeting Sam's eyes. "Major Carter, are you well?"
"Yes, Teal'c, I'm fine." Her focus fell on Jack, who suddenly felt very small. "I'd like to have a word with the Colonel if you don't mind."
He gave a nod and also left.
Jack got up from the chair. "Guess I should go pack a few things for our..."
"How dare you!"
His mouth fell open but no words came out.
"So do you want to announce it to the whole base maybe?"
"Carter..."
"I don't see where there was a need to tell everyone of your suspicions about my health, Sir."
"Teal'c was just wondering why you snapped and I made some comment and, well, you know Teal'c - needs an explanation for everything."
He felt even worse when tears began to fill her eyes. She turned away hoping he hadn't seen them.
Softly he walked up behind her. "I'm really sorry, Sam."
When she didn't respond, he touched her shoulders. He felt her tense slightly then relax. "It's nothing to worry about."
She turned to face him, tears sliding down her cheeks. Immediately he cupped her face and wiped the tears away.
"This is so stupid. I've never had to... Janet said it can happen at any age but..."
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "We all understand and don't worry, I won't get you court martialed for snapping at me once in awhile."
Sam laughed. "That's good to know. I'd hate for court martialing to become a regular part of our lives too."
He pulled away and looked at her. "Are we okay?"
She smiled and nodded. "Thanks. And I am sorry, Sir."
"Not your fault. Now, we've got about half an hour till we're supposed meet at the Stargate so I suggest we get packed."
"Agreed.
Turning out the light, she followed him down the hall, holding tightly to the Midol.
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