Waterworks
Waterworks
by Tanwen
Summary: There's a slight problem in Jack's basement
Category: Humor, Series
Season: future Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 05/18/03
Waterworks
It was morning when Jacob was standing at the end of the path to Jack's house looking towards the door. He was worried about him suddenly decideing to retire. He saw Jack's battered old truck in the driveway and walked up to his door knowing he was in. It wasn't just the fact that they were losing the 'famous' Jack O'Neill he was worried for, he knew how much Jack ment to his daughter. Their phone conversation lasst night had told him that. He could hear the tears on the verge of her eyes, knowing that it was only the fact that Janet was in the next room. He had a week off from the Tok'ra, and he would be staying with his daughter, but she was staying with Janet whilst her home was being fumegated and he didn't like to empose. He knocked and waited whilst he heard someone come from within, swearing as they tripped up. A Few moments later the door opened, but it wasn't Jack that was looking out at him.
"Hello, can I help you?"
She couldn't have been much older than 17. She was holding a book in her arm with some very complex looking equations and diagrams like the ones his daughter usually used. Her hair was blond and cut like his daughters. Her blue eyes sparkled like his daughters. Hell, she was even wearing army style clothes.
"Umm...mister, you ok?"
"Uh, yeah...is Jack in"
"Sorry sir, the Colonel is not in right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone, hehe" He was pretty sure she was drunk, or high, definiatly not in an unatlerted state of mind.
"Um, never mind, I'll call him later."
He walked back to his car and got in, still a little stuned. Why was Jack living with a 17 yr old girl who looked identical to Sam, dressed the same and called him Sir? A thought formed in his mind.
"No he wouldn't, that's just sick!"
But it might explain why Sam was so upset if she'd seen them. He looked back at the house where the girl was waving goodbye.
"Sam tell me what happened?"
"Nothing Janet. We met, we talked, I left. Simple as that!"
"Then why are you so upset...Oh!"
The reason just clicked in Janet's head about what they might have talked about. It had been so long since they'd talked about it that she thought maybe Sam had got over her feelings, but deep down she knew she hadn't. She watched as Sam as a tear was wiped from her eye and shoved another book in her bag.
"Do you wanna go then?"
"I...I think I'll make my own way in, I've got something I need to take care of first."
"Okay, I'll see you there"
Sam knocked on the door. She's rehearsed what she was about to say all the way over here. She would not chicken out. She would tell him how she felt, even after all this time. The door swung open, and she looked up with eye's closed ready to open her heart.
"Jack, I need to tell you that... What the hell happened to you?"
She looked as he saw Jen standing with a bucket and spanner, soaked to the skin. Sam hadn't noticed before but they really looked like each other. A mini Sam with an english accent. Weird.
"Sam, hello, are you doing anything today?"
"Umm... I was going to go and do some work but I could always do something else if you need me"
"Yes we do, grap a bucket, and get into the basement."
Jen disappered down the stairs into the basement as Sam did what she was told and grabbed a bucket. She noticed that all the hallway was filled with dusty old boxes and junk. The sort of junk you'd usually put in the basement. She heard a splash from downstairs, and what sounded like running water...a lot of running water. She went down the stairs and saw...
"Oh my god! What the hell happened"
"I'm telling you, she looked exactly the same."
"That's really strange...I'm sure it's all innocent enough, some reasonable explanation."
"It would explain why Sam was so upset last night"
"Hmm, You're right Janet, but maybe you and I should go..."
"It might be a better idea if Daniel went instead Jacob, you might do something you'll regret"
"You're right, Come on Janet, let's go"
In the far corner of the room, Jack stood as a burst water pipe spurted gallons of water out onto the floor. The water was already near the top of the first step, where Jen was standing with a mobile to her ear searching for something in the water.
"What do you mean it won't be here for a while! How long is a while! The entire room's been flooded and it's only been leaking for twenty minutes...AT LEAST AN HOUR!! WE'LL ALL BE DROWNED BY THEN!!... WELL THE SAME TO YOU THEN!!"
"That didn't sound good" Jack called from under the water as it gushed over him. "Who was at the door?"
"It's Carter. What's going on?"
"We were clearing out the basement when somebody" she said pointedly "hit an old pipe with a hockey stick and I'm sure you can work out the rest. Now, would you mind helping me move some of this stuff out. You have so much junk uncle Jack!"
"Some how I don't think a bucket's gunna help" she said throwing her bucket back up the stairs, quickly throwing her shoes and socks up afterwards. She was about to go into the water when she stopped. "Is this sanitary?"
"It's the pipe in if that's what you mean. Well I think it is cause I didn't have time to check when it suddenly burst over my head!"
"Sorry."
She'd been standing in the water for over an hour now, and the water was still spurting from the pipe. They'd managed to fix it a couple of times, but it only burst again. Once it took another pipe with it, so Sam had taken the task of trying to fix that. She'd found the missing section of pipe that had been flung across the room and got Jen to help her put it back in one end, but the other was proving to be much more difficult. Her 'spanner' kept slipping on the sodden nuts as she listened to her CO and his neices swearing matches screamed across the room where the water was now rising half way up her leg, past her knee.
"Well I can't find the bloddy spanner!"
"Well then look harder! Go under the f***ing water if you have to! And call it a wrench!"
"I am not going under the sodding water, not for you, not for anyone. I will call the sodding spanner whatever I sodding well like."
"Just find me something then...wait, it's by my feet I can feel it now. Get your ass over here and get it for me."
"Well if you're going to talk to me like that, maybe I won't. Maybe, I'll just stand here and watch you get wet. Bastard," she muttered stalking up the stairs.
"Got it!" Sam brandished her own wrench in triumph she stepped away from the pipe and waded over to Jack. She handed over her tool before bending down and searching for the missing one. She dunked her head down into the water to look for it, and soon found it just as Jack got the pipe to hold. Sam stood up, knocking into Jack and making him fall over...unfortunatly he took the pipe with him.
"CRAP!"
Jack pulled Sam up out of the water, and she staggered forward into his arms. Normally she would have relished at this chance of closeness to Jack, but for some reason being soaking wet killed the mood.
"You okay, Major?"
She laughed, flicking her wet hair out of her eyes. She'd miss this. She looked deep in his eyes.
"Don't leave."
"Sam...this is just something I've gotta do. I can't stay anymore."
They stood there, looking into each others eyes, the water splashing against them. The warm feeling of being close to him came back, negating out the cold water. 'Just tell him you chicken, do what you came here to do' "Jack, I..."
"Hope we're not interupting anything?"
Jack looked up the stairs to see Janet and Daniel coming down, suddenly very aware that he was holding his 2IC... his ex 2IC in his arms.
"Yeah, Carter just had a quick trip to the floor. You okay now?"
"Umm... yeah. Well you guys gonna help or just stand there?"
Daniel shrugged and headed back up the stairs to take off his shoes, as Jen pushed past, shouting over the rushing water.
"These friends of yours Uncle Jack. Thought they were the plumber but they knew you were an arse. Speaking of arses..." she said as she waded into the water. "Um... uncle Jack, the water is up to me arse."
"Yes, I know it probably is."
"UNCLE Jack. The WATER is up to my ARSE!"
"Well then call me when it's past your 'arse'!"
"Are you mocking my accent, remember it's your sister I get it from! You are related to that accent. AND... remember I can take you, and this water can make it a hell of a lot easier, so DON'T piss me off!"
Daniel jumped down the last few steps into the water, Janet walking in behind, both still a bit taken aback.
"You know Jack, I'm sure there's a better way of getting a pool."
"Shut up Daniel and grab the pipe. Janet get the other end, Sam you do put on the nut. Okay let's go, JEN! get me a wrench!"
"Not until you repect your heritage."
"I'm sorry, you what?"
"Not until you call it by it's proper name."
"What the hell, just give me the goddamn wrench!"
"Call it by it's name, I can't get any wetter, so I'll wait here until you ask for it by it's proper name!"
"Just do what the woman says Jack!"
"OKAY! Jennifer, would you kindly pass me the 'spanner'"
"Thank you."
She gave her uncle the tool he'd asked for, and the team began to get to work on the pipe. They managed to screw it into the right place and stood back triumphantly.
"There! Got it!" Jack declaired.
"It's not over to the fat lady..."from behind her another pipe burst, then a second a few seconds after
"...sings."
"I can't see the damn pipe, there's too much water in the way!"
"Ugh! When will this end."
"Uncle Jack, the water is quickly rising up my arse!"
"Well don't tell me about how high the water is getting, do something. It's not going to help if you just stand there complaining."
"Right, that's it! Come on fly boy, right here right now!"
"What are you on about!"
"You, me, fight. I have had enough of your smart arse comments. Come on, what's the matter, you chicken or something! Mum always said you were a woose!"
"I am not about to fight with my niece..."
"But I will fight both of you unless you shut up and start fixing this mess"
There was something amusing about seeing Daniel getting mad when he was soaking wet, his glasses slipping down his nose smeared with water. Jen went off in a huff, dragging her heavy wet clothes up the stairs. She looked at her watch to find it broken and filled with water.
"Today is not my day, who want's a drink?"
All three of the visiting helpers nodded and gasped.
"Tea would be wonderful!
"Yeah that would be great!"
"Is it too early for a beer?"
A minute later the doorbell rang, Jen called down the stairs.
"Would one of you get that!"
Daniel and Janet went for the stairs but Sam was already there.
"It's okay, I'll get it, don't worry!"
She hauled herself up the stairs, noticing how heavy her clothes were. She reached the top and stopped for a breather as the door went again.
"HANG ON!" she called, hoping against hope that it would be the plumber. Jen pushed past her, handing her a hot drink, before disappearing down the stairs to give the others their drinks. Sam took a sip and then dragged herself over to the door.
"Please be a plumber, Please be a plumber, PLEASE be a plumber!...Dad? General?"
Sam looked at her bewildered father and superior before looking down at herself, soaking wet, her clothes sticking to her in all the wrong places, or right if you viewed it that way. Sam raised her finger and opened her mouth to explain when a yell came from downstairs.
"UNCLE JACK! The WATER is PAST my ARSE!"
"OH for crying out loud! Right that's it! I give up! You win! I'm getting out of here before we all drown!"
A few moments later Jen appeared at the top of the stairs soon followed by Daniel and Janet, with Jack emerging last of all cursing and threatening.
"... God damn, sonofabitch, stupid, bloody PIPES!"
"Did, you just say bloody? I've been here to long. Who are you? Hey aren't you that man who came here earlier, you remember the one I told you about eariler Uncle Jack? ...Uncle Jack?"
Jack was leaning against the doorframe utterly exhausted, which wasn't supprising considering he'd hardly taken a break for the four hours he'd been batteling the pipe.
"Sofa. Lounge. Now. All of you. I'm going to do something wonderful in the kitchen from hell"
"It's perfectly fine for whatever I need Jen, it's only you that seems to have a problem with it. What are you two doing here. You're not the plumber are you. Well that's just great. Hey why don't we get Jonas and Teal'c over here, have a party!"
Jen flicked her soggy hair which she as already drying with a towel, spraying water all over Jack. For some reason they all obeyed Jen's command, though none of them really knew why, especsially since they were slowly soaking Jack's couch.
The smell of bacon waffted in from the kitchen as they explained what had happened.
"So she's your neice then?"
"Yeah, my sister married an english guy and moved out there about 20 yrs ago. I go over there occasionaly and see them, but Jen's a bit of a handful for 12months so they sent her over here"
"I heard that!"
"I thought you only had a brother?"
"Yeah, well, I kinda leave Kristie out of stuff. She was always been a bit... weird, the little girl of the family. Very annoying, very loud, very Kristie."
Jen walked through the door bearing a tray with food and steaming drinks, tripped over something and almost sent the entire lot into her uncles face.
"Whoops," she said placing the tray on the table. "Stupid bone...Bone! CRAP!"
Jumping up, she darted up the stairs. Jack frowned for a moment before suddenly realising and following behind. The collegues sat for a moment, weirded out again in their already weird day.
"Why does Jack have a bone on his floor?"
"I don't know, but I think we soon will."
"You forgot Thor! I can't believe you forgot Thor!"
"So did you"
"...Stop being padantic"
In through the door walked Jen carring in her arms was a small grey puppy, straining against her arms it's tail thumping against her side. She held 'Thor' up to her shoulder and he yapped at his master behind who was now carring some bacon and a doggie treat.
"Did mean old Daddy leave you in the room all alone? Poor little Thor. Oh, um by the way Uncie Jack... your gunna need some new bed sheets"
"Great...Now would you put the damn dog down."
Thor immediatly ran towards the sofa and jumped up at Sam, curling in her lap before Jack called his name and the dog ran towards the meat.
"He has a dog George" Jacob wispered "I think he's seriously retired"
Sam and Janet watched as the small dog ate and then ran back to Sam, jumping onto her lap and licking her face.
"Methinks she has made a new friend. Methinks that puppy Thor has very good taste. Methinks that Uncle Jack should heed puppy Thor's judgement!" Jen wispered into her uncle's ear
"Methinks youthinks to much!"
For the upteenth time that day the doorbell rang and, as usual, Jen went to get it.
"Thor, Jack, he will be pleased" The general said, the two women too absorbed in the young dogs antics to notice either of them.
"Well they did name a ship for me"
"WELL YOU TOOK YOUR BLOODY TIME! GET INTO THAT BASEMENT NOW!"
"That'll be the plumber then"
Sam was sitting in her office running some simulations on her computer. She didn't realise how much she missed her work spending all that time with 'Boring Brian' and up to her neck in water. She'd been working for a while when Jack poked his head round the door.
"Hello. Working I see"
"Oh well you know me sir."
"Indeed I do. Those Jen's?"
Sam picked up the combat trousers and the t-shirt that Jen had leant her and traded with the Colonel for her now dry clothes. She wondered what it must look like to anyone who wandered past, but she didn;t really care anymoe. It was weird to see him in his cives and here. He still didn't stand out, which was the strangest thing. Everybody else was in uniforms or fatiuges but he was just so military he blended right in all the same. She knew that there was no chance of getting him back... to the military.
"You know, you can always come back, anytime sir."
"Yeah I know. No doubt you'll drag me back sometime."
Sam giggled as he waved goodbye. She called after him as he walked out into the hall.
"Don't worry sir. We won't call you until the water is well and truly past our 'arses'!"
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