Hope and Fear
Hope and Fear
by Sarah Butler
TITLE: Hope and Fear
AUTHOR: Sarah Butler
EMAIL: Sarah74656@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: None really, maybe a few minor general ones.
SEASON / SEQUEL: Set mid season 3, earlier rather than later.
RATING: PG 13 (only just, for the curse words, nothing else)
CONTENT WARNINGS: None really, a few minor little curse words (you wouldn't believe what goes on inside Sam's head!)
SUMMARY: When Jack's life is threatened by a mysterious ailment, it's up to Sam to do everything in her power to save him.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Note from the not-so-genius! This was my first attempt at a fanfiction, and the only one to date that has been finished! The rest all lie in a semi-completed state on my hardrive, so if you like this one, then let me know so that I have motivation to finish the others! All comments are more than welcome, but nothing really nasty, as I am very sensitive, and might just stop writing all together if people are too mean to me! Still, enjoy!
Major Samantha Carter looked up from her reverie and glanced once again at her surroundings. As per usual, nothing special, the same drab grey walls met her eyes as they always did, filling her mind with the same sheer boredom that she felt in her heart. She had been off-duty only an hour, and half of that time she had spent eating. Now, sitting in her temporary quarters by her computer terminal, she was back at work, but for some reason the logical science and beautiful mathematics just weren't inspiring her and she felt as bored as hell.
Oops, she thought, that last phrase came from spending too much time with Jack. For some reason he had taken a new interest in the scientific aspect of the gate recently, and she had been using a lot of her on-world time explaining to him everything her work entailed. Somehow though, he never seemed quite as excited by it as he made out to be, but as yet she hadn't discovered a hidden agenda.
She closed down the computer and pushed her chair back form the desk. Her brain felt dead, and there was no way to revive it. As far as she could see, her best option was to get some sleep. She got up, and walked over to her bed. She looked at it with some distaste - although a career in the airforce had grown her used to discomfort she had never coped well with military sleeping arrangements.
As she lay down, her thoughts drifted to the next day, and exactly what lay ahead for SG1. Tomorrow's mission was the reason she was on the base anyway, so she might as well reflect on the cause of her having to put up with itchy sheets. P7A-656 was intriguing, and the preliminary MALP scans had been enough to spark her interests, but to impress the colonel she had to find a better reason that 'I want to'.
After running a few additional scans she had found what she was looking for. Trace deposits of Naquada were a good enough reason in her books for letting SG1 go, and when General Hammond gave the go-ahead it was set, and even Jack was pleased about a chance to get off-world again. It had been a while after all.
And yet, something about her CO's manner just wasn't right. Usually when faced with pretty much anything the Jack O'Neill way was to fire jokes at it and see what happened. But recently he had been a lot more distant. In fact, Sam could have sworn he had only cracked three jokes today, which if true was definitely a new record. It was as if he had his mind on something else, not work or his little quips.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Dammit, couldn't a girl get a decent night's sleep around here without being woken up? She sat up, and pulled the sheet across her lap.
"Come in." she said wearily.
"Erm, can't, Carter, the doors locked." The all too familiar voice of her CO, Jack O'Neill, sounded worse than sarcastic as he rattled the door to prove his point.
"Oh. I'm coming, hang on." She got out of bed and pulled on her dressing gown. However she felt about him there was no reason to flaunt it. She went over to the desk and picked up the keys that undid the inside locks, and moving over to the door, unlocked them. Then she pulled back the catch and let him in.
"Dammit Carter, why do you have to be so locked up? There's no madman loose on the base tonight, at least none that I know of." Sam eyed him curiously. It had to be well past midnight. What the hell was he doing here that late? He grinned sheepishly at her. "Well are you going to let me in, or do I have to stay standing outside?" he said.
"Sorry, Sir." she said cautiously. "Come in. What was it you wanted?" Instinctively, she drew her dressing gown around her a little tighter and went and sat down on her bed. He looked at her for a moment and then followed. He sat down next to her and smiled again.
"Just came for a chat, Carter."
"Umm, no offence, sir, but at one o'clock in the morning?" To her annoyance, O'Neill looked mildly amused.
"Actually it's only a quarter to one. But you got me, I have my ulterior motive for being here." He paused, as if waiting for her to jump in with something. When she didn't, he continued. "Let's just say I wanted to ask you a question."
"Umm, what would that be, sir?" she said, edging away from O'Neill slightly. The creepy grin he had on his face was almost surreal, and it was actually scaring her slightly. Suddenly the smile vanished and an exasperated expression took its place.
"OK, Carter, here it is. You're the smart one, let's set if you can work it out. All the gate science? I hate it. All of it. There is nothing I hate more. The trip to the wonderful P7A-656 tomorrow morning? Lousy. I couldn't care less, and would much rather have the week off to go fishing. But I'm still here. Why would that be Carter?" Sam looked almost frightened at this sudden outburst.
"But if you didn't want to learn about the Stargate's scientific aspects you didn't have to! Why did you ask if you didn't want to know?" she said, adding the 'sir' just in time. "And P7A-656. I thought... you said...."
"Forget what I said then. You think I'm going to voice my feelings to a room full of Airmen, General Hammond and the SG teams one through five? Get a grip, Carter."
"It doesn't usually give you a problem, sir." she muttered, but he didn't hear her. He just took another breath and ploughed on.
"Sure, sounds nice, a little excursion for scientific research. I could get a suntan." His eyes glinted. "Sound like me, does it, Carter? Huh? Does it?" He stood up and took one step towards her, whereupon she retreated a couple of steps and placed her hand next to the intercom, ready to use it if necessary. Something was very wrong here, and she didn't know what. 'Think, Carter' she told herself. 'Think!'
"Not really, sir." she said. It was obvious she was stalling for time, but she didn't want to do something she would regret. Anyway, she wasn't exactly sure who to call. As he took another step towards her, she suddenly recognised the glint in his eyes. He reached out for her, but she sidestepped, and O'Neill fell to the floor.
He looked up, and suddenly Sam realised he was clutching his throat and gagging for air. Her brain went into overdrive as she hit the intercom.
"Carter to Medical. I need a med team to my quarters immediately!" she yelled, releasing the button without even waiting for an acknowledgement. She knelt down next to her CO and touched his arm, letting him know that she was there.
"Colonel, I'm here. There'll be a med team along any minute now, just hang on." He didn't answer, he didn't even show any signs that he'd heard her. Sam's heart sunk in her chest as he doubled over in obvious agony. 'Where the hell is that med team?' she thought to herself. Her concern for Jack was making it hard to think. Why did they have to be such close friends? Even worse, why did he have to be so damned handsome, with such a witty sense of humour? And why did she have to have feelings for him that he couldn't reciprocate if he wanted to? Dammit, life was cruel.
Just then the door opened and Dr Janet Fraiser charged in with two medics behind her. The junior officers went straight to O'Neill, and Janet went to stand next to Carter. Sam stood up, releasing O'Neill's arm, and turned to her friend.
"Janet, I don't know what happened. He was just talking and suddenly he started gasping for breath and clutching his neck." She stopped, unable to think of anything else to say, and looked at the figure of the Colonel as the medics put him on the little mobile bed and wheeled him out of the room. Dr Fraiser put her arm around Carter.
"Sam, you did the best you could." She paused and looked her in the face, as if trying to gauge her reaction. "Look," she said. "If you want, you can come down to medical and see what happens." Sam sighed. It was one o'clock in the morning and she hadn't slept at all, but somehow her fatigue had been replaced with worry and concern for Jack.
"Yeah." she said, feeling more exhausted emotionally now than physically. "Yeah, I'll come." Janet Fraiser smiled and patted her friend on the shoulder. They left her room together and headed off down the corridor to the medical bay.
Jack O'Neill struggled against the darkness. He was definitely losing the fight. Even as he gained momentary consciousness he felt it coming back, pulling him deeper again, further down into the blackness than he had been before. Thought was difficult, emotion was impossible, and the constant battle was all he knew, all he felt. He didn't know where he was, what was happening, who was with him. He just saw the darkness closing in, eating up his strength and consuming his soul. And then came that little voice in his head again. 'Let go!' it said. 'Let go!' And though he fought like he never had before, he knew that little voice was going to win eventually. And then it grew stronger, screaming at him to cease the fight. And it grew too strong, and the blackness won. He was gone.
Three hours later, Sam was standing leaning against a doorway just outside the medical bay inside which her CO lay, now breathing, but not much else. Janet had managed to stabilise his vital signs, but he had slipped into a coma, and no one was really sure what was going to happen to him, though they didn't admit it.
Just then she felt the presence of someone behind her. She turned round and saw her friend and team-mate, Dr. Daniel Jackson.
"Any news?" she said, more to imply that she still cared than really expecting something to have happened. Daniel shook his head.
"I'm afraid not. Janet doesn't know what happened any more than you do." He looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry Sam." She sighed and put her hand on his shoulder.
"It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault it's mine, I should have realised something was up, I should have thought..." She trailed off, and her hand fell from Daniel's shoulder. 'Why?' she thought. 'Why?' Daniel looked at her.
"Sam, please...." he said. "It's not your fault. Look, maybe if you tell me what happened it would help." He looked at her. "It'll help me too. Please, Sam." She looked at him and she knew he wanted to know, wanted to help. She didn't want to relieve it again, it was so surreal, but maybe if she talked it through with someone she might remember something useful. And there was no one she trusted more than Daniel....
"OK." she said. "Here goes. I was lying in bed, thinking about stuff, mainly the mission tomorrow, I mean today, to P7A-656, you know? Well, then there was a knock on the door, and it was the Colonel. So I let him in. But something didn't seem right, he was going on about needing to ask me something, but he didn't say what. He said that he didn't like the science work he's been doing on the gate, and that he didn't want to go to P7A-656 with us."
"But I thought he was really excited about going, Sam? I mean, I know he called it a scientific expedition, but he seemed pretty enthusiastic."
"I know, I said that to him, but he said he was making it up. Then he stood up and, and..." She stopped, unable to continue. She didn't like to think what might have happened if he hadn't missed her and fell to the floor.
"What is it, Sam?" He looked slightly excited, as though she was saying something important. "Tell me what happened next."
"He came towards me, but I moved and he fell over," she said, a little wearily. "Then he looked up at me, holding his throat, trying to breathe...." The memory hurt her, and she wondered for the hundredth time if she could have prevented his pain somehow. Daniel was still looking at her, waiting for her to finish. She tried to think, but she was still confused. "I don't know." she said finally, shaking her head. "I don't know."
"It's alright, Sam, really." Daniel smiled, a small smile that was nothing like the maniac grin O'Neill had had earlier. It was nice to have friends, she thought. "Get some rest." he said.
"Yeah, I guess I should." said Sam. "Thanks, Danny." Daniel only smiled again.
"You know where I am." he said, then he turned and walked off. She turned and looked across at Jack lying on the bed. As she looked at him she couldn't help feeling responsible. Her feelings welled up inside her and she felt a lump growing in her throat. She stood and watched his sleeping form and time slowed down almost to a halt. And it was then that she knew she had to help him, no matter what. She went back to her room, to give herself time to think.
Jack O'Neill was dreaming. He was dreaming of a desert island, with waving palms and a clear blue sky. There, he could be happy, where the waves lapped up on the beach and the sand was golden. There, he could be alone. A gentle breeze blew across the island, and he felt the coolness on his face. It was a refreshing change from the heat of his little paradise, bringing the spray from the sea inland.
He lay down on a rock and closed his eyes, wishing for this Utopia to last forever. As he breathed in and out, savouring the sunshine he listened to the birds flying overhead. They tweeted and chirruped and reminded him of home. Suddenly he felt lonely, but there was no way to get there, back to everything he knew and loved. Everyone he loved. And he felt lonesome and scared. And he longed for home. And then it stopped, the dream was over, and the blackness returned to plague him once more.
Half an hour later, Sam strode into medical with a renewed sense of purpose. She watched Janet finish wiping Jack's face with a cool damp cloth and pull up the sheet covering him. Then the doctor turned and Sam caught her eye. She walked over to Sam, leaving O'Neill lying there as before.
"Hello Sam." she said, smiling. "What can I do for you?" Sam thought she seemed quite unperturbed by everything, even though she knew it was only her professionalism and years of training showing.
"Janet, I had a thought." She paused, unsure of how to put this into words. "When the colonel was in my room, erm, talking to me, I thought that there was something wrong about him." She looked at her friend, who appeared slightly puzzled at this.
"Yes, you told us that before." she said, stating the obvious. Sam sighed.
"I know, but I thought about it, and I just realised what it was." She stopped, took a big breath and licked her lips, ready to continue. She knew the implications of what she was about to say. "Janet, his eyes, they... they glowed." Janet looked as if a bomb had just gone off in her head.
"Oh my God." she breathed, as she ran across to O'Neill's bedside and started to check the monitors. "Oh my God." Sam followed her friend across the room, impatient that she hadn't let her finished.
"Janet." she said, with a finality in her voice not usually heard from her. "Janet, he's not possessed by a Goa'uld. I would have sensed if he was, and I'm not feeling anything." Janet turned to face her, an expression of disbelief on her face.
"But you said his eyes glowed." she said, for lack of anything better to say. Sam sighed and looked down at the floor. She couldn't believe what she was about to say herself, it sounded too ridiculous to be true. She looked up.
"I know. But I remembered something. Something from Jolinar. It could be important, but I don't know." Janet was looking at her. She knew she had no choice but to go for it now. "Jolinar remembers a mythical disease. The symptoms include strange behaviour, blockage of arteries or windpipes leading to loss of consciousness and the subject showing signs of Goa'uld infestation where none had taken place." She looked at her friend, expecting her suggestion to be laughed at. But instead, Janet's eyes held only sincerity as she addressed her.
"Sam, I think the General ought to know about this." She walked into her office. "I think Teal'c and Daniel should know too. I'll ask the General to call a meeting. If this helps, we'll all be grateful." She smiled at Sam. "And don't worry. It'll turn out OK."
Ten minutes later Sam found herself sitting at her usual seat in the briefing room, along with Daniel, Teal'c, Janet and of course, General Hammond. The General was talking about something, she presumed he was bringing everyone else up to speed on what had happened with her and Janet. She didn't know for sure, she wasn't listening properly.
She looked around the room at the others. Teal's was silent and business-like as usual, Daniel was looking worried and yet intent, and Janet had her hands clasped on the table and was staring at them as though she was scared to make eye contact with anyone. The General's brow was creased with worry, and Sam found herself slightly shocked at him showing so much emotion. She chided herself immediately though, of course she wasn't the only one who cared about Jack. They all did.
Her train of thought was disrupted by General Hammond.
"Major?" he said, inclining his head towards her, indicating that she was to continue. She stood up and took a breath, ready to begin.
"The disease that Jolinar remembers was considered a myth by many Tok'ra. Apparently, they all believed it to have been completely wiped out five thousand years ago. The myth is of a disease that makes the sufferer act as though they have been infested with a Goa'uld when in fact they have not. Other symptoms include delusions, headaches, blockage of the arteries and windpipes and a fever before lapsing into unconsciousness. It was supposed to be a punishment from an ancient System Lord to make those without a symbiont, well, want one I suppose."
"That is correct." Teal'c interrupted. Hammond looked only slightly surprised.
"Teal'c?" he inquired, turning his attention to the Jaffa sitting next to him.
"I, too, have heard of this disease." he said. "The Goa'uld also believe it to be extinct. It is known as the 'Wrath of Anubis' and was said to have been inflicted by him on slaves to punish them for disobedience and laziness."
"Erm, no offence, Teal'c," Daniel jumped in, "But wasn't Anubis the god of the dead?" Everyone looked at Teal'c. 'Please, no,' thought Sam. 'Please not that.'
"That is correct, Daniel Jackson." The silences that followed was not pleasant, and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Janet, who had been watching Teal'c intently, dropped her head and stared at her hands once again. Daniel looked at the table. Sam felt like someone had just pulled out her heart.
"But he won't die, will he?" she said, almost pleading to him, to any of them. 'Don't let him die', she thought. 'I need him.' General Hammond just looked at her.
"You tell me, Major. You seem to know more about this than anyone else. You and Teal'c of course." He paused, waiting for either of them to say something. Teal'c was looking straight ahead, avoiding anyone else's eyes. Sam knew he was coping in his own way. "We were not told of what happened to those who contracted the disease." he said, his voice full of no emotion. "Sufficient to say that they were no longer disobedient." His words hung in the air, and everyone got exactly what they meant. Sam felt terrible. It was up to her now, but she didn't even know if she had the answer. She definitely couldn't tell anyone what she didn't know.
"I'm sorry, sir." she said. "Jolinar's memories are not that specific." She stopped there, knowing that she had said everything of use that she could. Moaning about her loss wouldn't help anybody, and this wasn't the place for it anyway. Janet saved her from having to say anything else.
"I've been monitoring his condition." she said. "After he stabilised initially his vitals have been steady, but he's not getting any better." She stopped, taking a breath, and Sam knew what was coming next. "I'm afraid there's not a lot I can do for him. I can prescribe some painkillers to stop the pain, but that's about it." She turned to her friend sitting next to her. "I'm sorry, Sam." she whispered. Sam looked at her and nodded.
"I understand." she said quietly. And she did, but it didn't make her feel any better. Nothing could heal the pain that she felt now. Wait a minute, heal. Heal! "Teal'c," she said, with renewed confidence, "This disease, it was a punishment, right?" Teal'c looked mildly surprised.
"That is correct." he said. Sam was almost triumphant.
"So the Goa'uld never actually tried to heal someone who was suffering the disease?" She looked around. Daniel was almost there by the looks of it, and Janet, but General Hammond still looked stumped. Teal'c, as always, looked impassive.
"No." he said simply. Sam turned to General Hammond.
"Sir, do we still have that Goa'uld healing device?" Suddenly, the pieces fell into place for Hammond and he clicked what she was driving at.
"Yes, we do, Major." he said. "Do you think you can use it to heal Colonel O'Neill?" Sam smiled at him. She knew that nothing would stop her giving it her best shot.
"I know I can try, sir." she said. Daniel was still apprehensive, however. He looked worried, and Hammond noticed.
"Yes, Dr Jackson?" he said. Daniel shook his head but answered anyway.
"If it's a Goa'uld disease, why would the Goa'uld healing device work to make Jack better?" he queried. Hammond nodded.
"Major?" he said, turning to Sam, who was all too pleased to explain it to Daniel.
"Well, if Anubis created the disease as a punishment there's no reason for him to create a disease that can't be healed, as they wouldn't even have thought of curing it, probably. It's a typical oversight of a race too bent on destruction to wonder if what has been done can be undone or not." she paused, and looked at Teal'c. "No offence, Teal'c."
"None taken, Major Carter." he said. Daniel seemed intent on making sure he fully understood.
"So we'll try and use the healing device on Jack to make him better. I see. But how do we know it will work on disease? I mean, it's usually used for cuts, broken bones, that kind of thing isn't it?" Sam knew he was right, but she also knew she had to place her faith in something or else she would go crazy. She turned to him.
"Basically, Daniel, we don't know." She paused. "But we'll just give it the best shot we can." She stopped, realising she was sounding a bit harsh. After all, Jack was Daniel's friend too, he wanted Jack back as much as anyone else. He didn't seem to pick up any hostility though, and if he did he didn't show it. He probably understood. He usually did.
"OK, then people!" The General's voice brought her back to the here and now and she knew in her heart she was ready to try this, or anything, for Jack. "Let's do it!" he said.
Sam stood over jack in the medical bay, watching his sleeping form. In her right hand she clutched the Goa'uld healing device. Her left hand was clenched by her side, the only outside sign of the inner torment she was feeling. Her emotions were rattling around inside her, and she knew if Jack didn't get better soon she would only get worse.
She held her right hand out in front of her over Jack's body. She closed her eyes and concentrated, focusing on the part of her that was Jolinar, forcing the Tok'ra to take over and make the device work. At first nothing happened, but then she felt the device grow warm and vibrate slightly, and she knew it was working.
After what seemed like an eternity, the device shut off. She was afraid to open her eyes, afraid of what she might see, but she knew that everyone was there with her, and they would support her whatever the outcome.
So she opened her eyes, and looked down at Jack. One second passed, then two, then ten. And Jack didn't move. Sam's arm fell to her side, and grief overwhelmed her. She'd failed. Failed herself, failed her friends and worst of all, failed him. The only thing in her life she had ever really wanted she couldn't have, and as the realisation dawned on her she finally broke.
Tears streamed down her face, silent tears that seemed so eerie and yet so right for what faced her now. As her heart poured out of her crying eyes she felt her soul dying as she never thought it could. She couldn't see anyone else, couldn't see how it was affecting them. She was lost now, lost to her grief and deep despair from the imminent death of the one man she had truly loved beyond all else.
She felt them leaving. One by one, until only one was left. She looked up and saw Daniel, his eyes red with tears too, and she realised she was not alone. Daniel had stopped crying but she had not, and he put his arms around her in the supportive hug of a friend that knows you really need each other right now. Then he pulled away and looked at Sam, and without words he knew it was her time, the time she need with him alone.
After Daniel left, Sam felt very much alone. It grew within her, loneliness and grief, and she knew that if she did one thing before he died, she would have to tell him everything. And yet, to see his sleeping form broke her heart, and she couldn't do it. 'Coward!' she told herself. 'Coward!'
She turned, unable to look at him any longer. She walked towards the door in a zombie-like state, unsure if she could deal with this loss. Jack had been such a great part of her, the good part, the part that made her whole. Now he was going to die, and she hadn't even got the courage to tell him what he'd meant to her all these years.
It was just then that she heard a sound behind her. She froze, unable to move. Then she heard it again.
"Sam...." The low and croaky voice of her CO was like birdsong in her heart and music in her soul. She felt her life returning as she turned to face Jack. He was lying there, eyes open and arm outstretched, waiting for her to come to him. She was almost laughing as she ran to his side, ready once again to serve his every need.
"Sir." she said, unable to keep the jubilation she felt out of her voice. Jack was visibly better, he was already smiling. She took his hand and stood there, knowing that there was no need for words to tell him exactly how much she need him right now. He just knew that she was there, and that was enough for both of them. He looked at her red eyes and wet front and Sam knew what was coming.
"What's up, Carter?" he said to her, jokingly. "Did somebody die?" Sam didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his pathetic attempt at a joke.
"Not quite, sir." she said, wondering if he knew how close he had really been with his light-hearted remark. He just smiled and squeezed her hand tight, and she knew that she never wanted to let him go, ever.
Suddenly, her brain clicked into gear. The others! She had to tell the others!
"Janet." she said. Jack looked puzzled, but let her mutter to herself. "And Daniel and Teal'c and..... I have to tell them!" Jack smiled and released her hand. Sam grinned at him, the first time she had done so in ages and ran out of the room to find the others who had to know about Jack's sudden resurrection. She couldn't wait to tell them. She just hoped they hadn't started planning the funeral just yet.....
Two days later, Sam walked into the medical bay with her hands behind her back. She was trying, unsuccessfully, to hide the rather large plant she was carrying as a gift for Jack, but it wasn't exactly inconspicuous, and she got the feeling he might just notice.
She walked over to his bed, and placed the pot on the table next to it. He looked at it with a mixture of bemusement and gratitude. Then he looked at her.
"A pot plant, Carter?" His joke fell on almost deaf ears, as Sam didn't get it.
"It'll increase the oxygen levels in here, sir." she explained. "It'll help you get better quicker." Jack just sighed.
"Scientists." he muttered to himself. Sam heard, and grinned, just so he knew she didn't mind. He grinned back, and she felt her heart do a backflip. 'He has such a wonderful grin', she thought. Suddenly Jack looked uncomfortable.
"What is it, sir?" she said, worried he might be having a relapse. She didn't want to almost lose him again, once had been more than enough. He just shook his head.
"It's nothing, Carter, really." he paused. "So this Goa'uld disease, I just picked it up?" She nodded at him, still not entirely convinced he was OK. "So why did I get it when the rest of you guys didn't?" Sam ginned at him, and seized her chance to make a joke.
"Well, sir, I guess the Asguard aren't the only race to have taken a liking to you." she said, containing her amusement quite well, she thought, all things considered. He found it funny, but tried to pretend otherwise.
"You do know I could have you for insubordination, Major." he said, his eyes twinkling at her. She thought she was going to melt, and then he smiled again and Oh God! She had to stop thinking like this. She'd probably get thrown out of the airforce if anybody knew what she was thinking right now. Mind you, she'd probably die of embarrassment first.....
"Carter, I'm afraid I have a confession to make." Jack's voice had lost all trace of humour now and it was clear he was being totally serious. Sam was curious.
"What is it, sir?" she said. He looked deep into her eyes and held the connection as he spoke.
"Everything I said, what I said, last night, I meant it." He paused for breath. "I couldn't help it, and I know it was wrong, itis wrong, but I'm afraid there's just nothing I can do." Sam was confused.
"Excuse me?" she said, total bewilderment showing on her face. Jack looked almost as puzzled.
"You mean, I didn't tell you?" He stopped, waiting for an answer.
"Tell me what?" He looked at her again, and this time she couldn't read how he felt from his eyes.
"Sam, I love you." Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Everything he had said, it all made sense, and what sense! God, he loved her! All her hopes and wishes and dreams had come true, and he actually loved her, and he loved her here and now, unconditionally just as she loved him. She felt like she was floating on a cloud of air, and nothing could bring her down. She looked into Jack's worried eyes and smiled.
"I love you too, Jack." she said. He smiled back, aware of the fact that she had just called him Jack for about the second time ever, and aware of not much else. She leaned down to him and he sat up towards her and they met halfway in a kiss.
It lasted for eternity. And even when they broke apart, they knew in their hearts that nothing, no regulations, no rank or protocol and no living being would ever come between them now. And Sam couldn't believe her happy ending. And Jack could believe they lived happily ever after. But they did.
THE END!!!
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