Queer Eye for the Stargate Guy (1/4)
Queer Eye for the Stargate Guy (1/4)
by SaraC
Summary: The Fab Five get their hands on Daniel!
Category: Humor
Season: future Season
Pairing: Daniel/Janet
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 01/05/04
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Teal'c, do you think I'm boring?"
The tall Jaffa raised an eyebrow at the man seated across from him in the candlelit circle.
"I had believed your presence tonight was for the purpose of kel'no'reem, DanielJackson. Is there something else you wish to discuss?"
Daniel pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and shrugged sheepishly. Teal'c was somewhat right. He had hoped that the soothing routine of kel'no'reem might ease the annoyance he'd been feeling since this afternoon.
"Actually, I overheard several of the nurses in the infirmary talking today-"
"Were you intending to hear them DanielJackson?"
Daniel looked chagrined for a moment. "Um, no, but I was waiting to see Janet about my allergy medicine and I couldn't help but hear them talking about me."
The Jaffa's eyebrows rose again. "And what they spoke of, it disturbed you?"
Daniel sighed and nodded. He felt a little uncomfortable talking to Teal'c about this, but the Jaffa was really his only option. Jack would make some sarcastic remark or laugh, and well, Sam was out simply because she was a woman. Janet, well, considering how he felt about her, the last thing he wanted to discuss with her was how he appeared to people.
"Do you intend to tell me what was said DanielJackson?"
Daniel took a deep breath before nodding. "They, um, well, they were talking about how, um, well, cute I was," he stopped for a moment at the raised eyebrows again, but plowed on before he lost his nerve. "But then they said that I was cute but boring and rather geekish," he winced at the word, hating the sound of it.
"I have heard this term, 'geek,' used before but I am unclear as to what it means."
Daniel sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Well, it sort of means someone who isn't exactly the most fashionable or popular. A 'geek' is usually thought of as very smart and studious person." He stopped as the Jaffa simply looked at him, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"Forgive me if I am missing something, DanielJackson, but this description does seem to fit you rather well. You are indeed a smart man and from what I observe daily, a studious one." The Jaffa seemed to warm to the topic as he continued despite Daniel's attempts to interrupt.
"You seem to be the favored one of SG-1 whenever we are in the infirmary and I have noted several of the nurses looking at you with interest over during mission debriefs. This, I have also noted, greatly annoys O'Neill."
Daniel looked at the Jaffa in surprise. He hadn't thought his friends were aware of the nurses stares. He preferred to ignore them, concentrating on the only woman he really wanted staring at him. It didn't help that she usually was looking at him with a doctor's eye.
"You seem surprised by this, DanielJackson."
Daniel nodded, swallowing before trying again. "Well, they might look at me, Teal'c, but they don't think I have much style or fashion. I mean, Jack has hassled me about cleaning out the 'junk' in my apartment and Sam is always telling me to wear my hair one way or another. Even Janet has joked about my tendency to destroy any nice outfits I have, although it's usually because of a Gou'ald plot or some kind of alien has taken over my body, or because I ascended and most of my dressier clothing was given to Goodwill."
He stopped as he felt the intense stare the Jaffa was giving him. Swallowing, he waited for a reply, wondering again why he had decided to tell all this to an alien from another planet. Not the exact first choice for a confidant on style.
"Do you desire to change yourself, DanielJackson? Perform what I believe is called a do over?"
"Make over, Teal'c, I think you meant make over," he replied with a sigh, leaning back on his hands as he gave the Jaffa a helpless look. "I don't know, I just know that I have to change something about my life, or at least my lifestyle, especially if I want Janet to see me-"
He stopped suddenly, aware he had almost revealed his feelings for the petite doctor. His heart sank a little as the eyebrows rose again.
"You are finally ready to ask DoctorFraiser to partake of food with you someplace other than on base?"
Daniel sputtered, wondering if he had really been that obvious. "If you mean ask Janet on a date, well, I, um, I suppose. But you can't say anything to her, promise me Teal'c." The words were a bit desperate but he couldn't help it. The last thing he needed was for Teal'c to be the one to tell Janet that he was interested in her.
The Jaffa remained silent for a moment, then nodded his head slightly. "I will keep your confidence, DanielJackson, and perhaps I might offer a suggestion that would help you with your problem?"
For the first time that night, Daniel felt a smidgeon of hope. Of course, the fact that it was, again, an alien from another planet offering him this information, might be a factor to consider. Then again, what did he have to loose?
"Go ahead, Teal'c. It's worth a shot."
"I have heard of a television show in which five extremely happy men help other men with their clothing and furniture accessories."
Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Extremely happy?"
"Indeed," came the taciturn reply.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"We're on our way to today's makeover: Daniel Jackson, noted archaeologist and anthropologist based in Colorado Springs." The words were addressed to a cameraman in the front seat of a white van, making its way through a suburban neighborhood.
"Because there's just so many archeological and anthropological treasures to discover in the middle of a major city." A small, tan skinned man made a waving motion to indicate the scenery around him.
"But get this, he works for the government and he's single." A third man shuddered and made a cringing motion. "You know how drab government decorating can be. Oh, I can only imagine the color we're going to need to brighten up his apartment."
"Hey, I'm sure he'll be glad to get away from commissary food," offered a fourth man, a tall, wiry compliment to his friends. "Plus, being a worldly archeologist, he's no doubt quick to pick up new things which means, heaven help us, we can get through one of these without any broken glass."
"Exactly, and have you seen a picture of Daniel?" The thin blonde man gushed as he held up a picture towards the man with the camera in the front seat. "Too delicious for words, but he really needs to accentuate those baby blues, and those arm muscles!" The five men all made various fluttering motions with their hands.
"I bet he does a lot of lifting in his job, those pectorals are to die for! Imagine what we can do with a little work on his outfits. Greens and browns are well and good for the dig site but for a night out, accessorize baby!"
"Well," stated the smaller man, "at least he seems willing to change. After all, he called us and requested our help."
"Either that or he was getting the typical "cute but geekish" comments from the public and decided it was time for a change." Wry laughter greeted the comment, although the blonde was quick to reply.
"Well, we all agree there's definite potential and what else do we do best but show him how to bring it out. Then let's see how the women react!"
The five men continued to gush to each other, and the cameraman in the front seat as they pulled up to Daniel's apartment. With a flurry of activity, the men stepped from the car and stared up at the front of the building before them.
"Well, it's not exactly the prettiest building. Then again, as they say, you can't judge a book by its cover."
The blonde man, obviously taking the lead, whirled back around with a dazzling smile for the cameraman. "Okay, let's go bring our special brand of style to Daniel Jackson. The Queer Eye guys are ready to roll!"
With that, the quintet of men descended on the building and into Daniel's life.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Daniel took a deep breath as he watched the action on the street in front of his building.
Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea after all. His eyes widened as the five distinctive looking men piled out of a white van, followed by several men carrying cameras and lighting equipment. He knew this was all part of the "Queer Eye" experience, and that it would be videotaped.
He could only hope that General Hammond didn't kill him when this was over. Jack would probably laugh about this for years. The whole SGC would probably never tire of ribbing him about his 'makeover.' He could only be thankful that the Gou'ald did not have access to TV.
Still, ever since Teal'c had mentioned the show, he'd been taping and watching it whenever he got downtime. While the premise was rather strange, he had to admit, he'd become fascinated by watching these five gay men work makeover magic on straight men, both married and single. He'd been impressed enough by the transitions that he'd decided to write and make his case. Of course, he'd figured he'd never be chosen, after all, there were so many others out there, he assumed, who needed a makeover more than he did.
But when they'd contacted him a month ago, he'd suddenly realized what he'd gotten himself into. Obviously, he had something they were looking for and more obviously, they thought there was potential in him.
He shuddered as he heard Jack's teasing voice in his head. His best friend would never let him live it down.
Forcing his apprehension down, he replaced it with the imagined look of awe in Janet's eyes as she saw his changed appearance and, hopefully, stylish new style. The image of her passionately kissing him was enough to heat his cheeks. Turning his thoughts to a little tamer track, he smiled as he realized it would be worth it to show those damn nurses and those on base that there was more to Daniel Jackson than just saving the world on a nearly daily basis.
The knock on his door startled him from his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he moved around his still half unpacked apartment and walked over to the door. He was really going to do this.
/Well, it can't be worse than facing an armed force of Jaffa and one seriously pissed off system lord./
The thought firmly cemented in his mind, he opened the door.
/Or not./
~*~*~*~*~*~
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