Forgive and Forget. .. NOT!
Forgive and Forget. .. NOT!
by Sandra
Title: Forgive and Forget. .. NOT!
Author: Sandra
Email:MishaNova2000@aol.com
Spoilers: Probably a tad spoilerish for the last ep (D&C), but it could be. . more. . general, I guess.
Category: Sam/Daniel, humor
Warnings: m/f
Rating: Um. . PG in my world.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, and it's a good thing, too!
Summary: Jack gets whacked, Marty stays
Notes: I'm pissed. Can you tell? But I'm also in a silly mood. Thanks Garn, Maria and Jo.
Jack whistled an old tune, his feet slowly and confidently pacing across the cold Base corridors. He wore a smug grin as he knocked on Carter's door. He waited for a second until she opened her doors with a sheepish look.
"Ready?"
"Um, yes."
They walked together toward the mess hall for their first date, when all at once they disappeared! When they opened their eyes, a bright light assaulted their vision.
"Thor?" Jack mumbled, trying to get rid of the dry feeling in his throat.
"No. Your worst nightmare. S/D list." A deep, Wizard of Oz type voice said as Jack was strapped to a spiky chair, an ax dangling in front of his face.
"Um. .. where are we?" Sam asked, stifling a slight yawn.
"Don't worry, you're safe, but Rik has been allowed to slap you for a few minutes. .. now, now, no tears, it's for your own good, dear."
Sam wrinkled her nose and stood up, stretching her long legs. "So. .. got anything to eat? I feel like gaining some weight."
"You're learning already!" The voice said gleefully.
"Um, not to be a party pooper, but. .." Jack motioned to his straps as the hatchet sliced closed to his genital area.
"You will speak when spoken to." The voice said with a raised eyebrow.
"But. .." Jack watched another pole ax sway above his greying head.
"No one spoke to you." The voice said, in its snobby way.
"It's not really my fault. .. blame the producers. .." Jack squirmed.
"Or. .. the Executive producer!" the voice said angrily as the room shook.
"Oh, hey, guys. .. Sam. .. Jack..." Daniel tilted his head with a small frown.
"What are you doing here, Daniel?" Sam looked at his suit.
"No, damn it. .. no suits! Tight black shirt!" the voice boomed.
Daniel's suit changed into a tight black shirt and Sam smiled with interest as his muscles bulged.
"Much better." The voice settled back into the chair.
"Okay, now this is--" Jack started to speak, but a silver duck tape appeared across his mouth. The voice chuckled as Teal'c took away the "other" option consisting of a hammer, nails and a huge metal car bumper.
"Now. .. Sam, Daniel. You will talk." The voice said and ushered them into a sauna, their clothes replaced by white, fuzzy towels. Ah, the steam.
"Sam. .."
"Daniel. .."
"On second thought. .. don't talk." The voice said and pushed Sam onto Daniel, leaning back and watching the scene play out according to common sense.
"What about Jack?" Martouf/Lantash asked, seated near the voice. The voice shrugged, wrapping its arms around Martouf/Lantash's waist.
"Well, Jack will be taking a little walk." And with that the doors of the Goa'uld Mothership opened and Jack was sent floating away. Forever. To meet Furlings? To die? Who cared really?
Sam and Daniel lived happily ever after.
Martouf/Lantash and the voice lived happily ever after.
The S/D group cheered.
The voice was finally happy.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Sandra
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Forgive and Forget. . .NOT!
by SandraSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis