The Child Within
The Child Within
by Ravital Aichler and AmÈlie Allard
TITLE: The Child Within
AUTHOR: Ravital Aichler and AmÈlie Allard
EMAIL: ravital@indomitus.comand/or amelieallard@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Humour (hopefully), S/J UST
SPOILERS: tiny little ones for Brief Candle and Past and Present
SEASON / SEQUEL: whenever you want :)
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: None
SUMMARY: ""So Colonel... what are your orders now?" but the only reply I got was in baby talk."
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: We realize that this is a very unlikely situation to happen in the show, but we had lots of fun writing it, so we hope you'll have as much fun reading it! We would also like to thank Dustdevil for the great beta-reading! Thanks! Great job, as usual ;)
"Come on Come on Come on!" Jack looked at me with a frustrated look and stormed out of the SG-1 locker room.
"Is it just me or is he being a bit more childish than ever today?" Daniel seemed to have gained a certain immunity to Jack's impatience over the last few years. Now he just looked at it as yet another endearing Jack O'Neill quality. I shrugged and tried to finish fastening my boots.
"He's just excited that this is the first planet in weeks that the M.A.L.P found something on it besides trees."
"Well I'm excited too! But I'm not abominable about it" I gave Daniel a look. He does like to use long words to explain small things doesn't he? Well...look who's talking...
"Colonel O'Neill requests your presence in the gate room Major, Daniel Jackson" Teal'c had this rare look on his face, the one that he has when he desperately wants us to come and rescue him from another one of the colonel's moods.
"We'll be right there Teal'c" I gave him a small reassuring smile and grabbed my gear.
"Come on Daniel, we got a universe to save" I tried to ignore the look on Daniel's face as I made my way to the gate room.
"Finally!" I hear the colonel shouting from the other side of the gate room and the relieved look I get from the sergeant currently operating the gate in the control room says it all.
"Dial it up!" before he even finished the sentence the gate already started to roll, apparently the young sergeant wanted Colonel O'Neill out of there as soon as possible. The gate opened in its usual breathtaking beauty and we step through to the unknown.
"Ahh ... now this is what I call a planet!" The colonel made his way to the golden beach to take a closer look at the surrounding.
That planet was one of the most alluring ones we had ever encountered. The gate builders, in their endless wisdom, placed the Stargate on a small plain just next to a beautiful beach and from our primary research this planet seemed to be a tropical paradise.
"No trees!" the colonel shouted with obvious joy as he tapped Teal'c on the back.
"Um that looks a whole lot like a tree to me Jack" Daniel sneezed and gave Jack one of his annoyed looks as he pointed to a lovely coconuts tree that stood near the beach.
"You know what I mean Daniel! Don't bug me!" if I knew that this is how the colonel would have reacted to a little sand I would have made sure we visited at least one sandy planet a month.
"Ok ok can we get on with the exploring part? I want to see the ruins the M.A.L.P discovered" Daniel finished the sentence with yet another sneeze and stared at Jack. It was hard to tell what annoyed him more Jack or the sand.
"Fine... let's go" Jack gave a little shrug and started making his way down the beach towards the strange ruins the MA.L.P discovered.
"I'm bored," Jack said for the fifth time in the last two minutes.
Daniel murmured something under his lip but kept his eyes on the strange machine we found in the middle of the ruins. It had no inscriptions on it whatsoever; a thing that drove Daniel almost mad... and Jack wasn't helping... to say the least.
"What was that?" Jack was obviously looking for some action, and annoying Daniel was a sure way of getting it.
"Um...Nothing" Daniel shrugged.
"No no come on space monkey... say what's on your mind!" Daniel doesn't like that name... to say the least. I saw Teal'c taking one-step back (moving out of the line of fire I suppose) and I followed his lead. Daniel may seem to be the mild mannered archeologist to you... but when you push that button he has, that button that for some reason only Jack and sometimes the Tok'ra know how to push, watch out...he is a wild animal!
Daniel turned around slowly, his face turning red and I could see he was desperately trying to control his temper. The words came out of his mouth slowly.
"I just said.... Jack.... That if you find it so ... boring here.... Why don't you take off your boots and go play in the water for a while... it might be.... Fun"
Now there's something I wasn't expecting Daniel to say. I saw a small rare smile spread over the colonel's face like he was just waiting for someone to suggest that.
"It'd be totally against regulations Daniel" Jack desperately tried to maintain some dignity and to control that stupid smile that started spreading all over his face.
"We won't tell if you won't" Daniel looked at me with warning in his eyes.
"You think I...?" It was very obvious what the colonel wanted to do right now.
"Sure... go ahead sir. We still have about an hour or so here, you'll be in view and Teal'c's staying here so I don't see any danger... after all this is a paradise." Before I finished the sentence he was gone.
I stopped to think for a while... that was definitely not a normal Jack O'Neill behavior. There was something about this planet that just made him... freer I suppose.
When I went to get him an hour later I found my commanding officer spread out on the beach his feet in the water, obviously enjoying the calm and warming sunlight.
"Time to go Sir" I shouted towards him as I made my way closer.
"Yeah yeah I'll be right there Carter... you spoil sport" was the muffled reply I got from the prone man. I waited for him to put his boots on and we made our way back to the dig site to fetch Daniel and Teal'c
"Back so soon?" Daniel looked at the newly tanned Jack as he kept looking at a new artifact he found near the strange machine.
"Put a sock in it Daniel!" Jack looked annoyed by Daniel's remark.
"You can be such a baby sometimes Jack" Daniel replied and then it happened. A strange light came out of the strange device Daniel was holding and struck Jack directly in the chest while blinding the rest of us. It only lasted a second but it was enough to blind me for another minute until my eyes got used to the normal sunlight again. When I opened my eyes I saw a shocked Daniel standing near me, the strange device on the ground and no Jack O'Neill anywhere to be found.
"What happened?? Where's the colonel?" I looked at Teal'c hoping he would have the answers.
"I do not know Major Carter" he immediately started probing the surrounding looking for our missing colonel. That's when we heard the baby. It was soft, and muffled, but it definitely wasn't there before and it was definitely a baby.
"Where's it coming from?" I asked as I tried to find out exactly where the crying was coming from.
"I think it's coming from inside the machine" Daniel replied and moved closer to the machine. As he touched it a part of the machine opened and inside was a beautiful baby covered with a soft silk like material and wearing what seemed to be a military issue olive green cap.
"You don't think that.... Jack?" Daniel moved to get the baby out of the machine and inspected him closer.
"It can't be," I said with shock.
"This is Colonel O'Neill's cap Major Carter" Teal'c said with his usual calm.
I took the smiling baby from Daniel and looked straight into his brown eyes.
"So Colonel... what are your orders now?" but the only reply I got was in baby talk.
As we made our way back to the Stargate, I couldn't help the panic I felt rising in my guts. What could possibly have enough power to reverse the aging process to the point of turning a grown man into a baby? Of course we couldn't leave him behind, just like that and all alone, so we decided to take both him and the device, not without careful considerations, back with us.
The baby in Daniel's arms suddenly became agitated, waving his little arms in the air and screwing up his cute little face as tears welled up into his eyes and began crying.
"What did you do?" I asked Daniel without masking any of my concern, worry and above all horror about this new situation.
"I didn't do anything! He just started crying!" Daniel replied defensively, trying to calm the now very vocal baby down.
"No, I mean what did you do when you touched the artifact? You must have activated something!"
"I didn't touch anything!" He said, trying to speak louder than the crying bundle in his arms. "I was just standing there, holding the device and listening to Jack's rant! I didn't do anything that could have activated some sort of mechanism." He shifted the baby, holding him against his chest, and he winced as the baby cried loud into his ear.
"As gruff as ever, aren't you Jack? At least it's a relief to know that your mother suffered your bad moods as much as we do... at least we're not the only ones!" Daniel mumbled quietly.
While Teal'c punched the earth symbols onto the DHD, the realization of our helplessness to the situation struck me like a fist to the jaw: the Colonel was now a baby and I had no idea how to reverse the process, let alone what had triggered it in the first place. We had seen nanocytes increasing the speed of aging, a fountain of youth created by Linea based on chemical mixtures, but nothing like this device.
The device in question was small enough to hold with two hands, and had the form of a triangular pyramid. It seemed to be made of a mixture of naquadah and some sort of other metal, and on each side was an engraved iconographic picture that Daniel hadn't succeeded to decipher just yet. Teal'c had carried it into his pack, enveloped by numerous items in order to keep it from turning any more of us into kids. But it was hard to make a hypothesis on how it worked, especially when no energy was emitted and when my instruments hadn't recorded anything significant.
The gate whooshed open and the baby, surprised and apparently curious stopped crying immediately and just looked in amazed awe at the blue watery surface. And then, expecting a scared cry from the child, little Jack surprised me by smiling and giggling happily, drooling on Daniel's vest. The archeologist stared fatherly at the excited baby and smiled.
"Liked that didn't ya?" He said as he caressed the baby's head. "Always ready for adventure, huh? Yep, that's Jack as we know him." And he walked through, Teal'c and I on his heels.
Blackness. That's the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. Blackness. What the hell had happened? I vaguely remembered Daniel saying I was acting like a baby, then a bright flash of light hitting my chest, and then...blackness.
I tried to sit up and waited for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light, but they never did, or at least there was nothing to see. I wandered around and, touching the close walls all around me, I realized I was in a very small room, with no doors whatsoever, or at least no doorknobs on this side. My hands touched the ceiling even in my seated position, and I thanked God for not giving me claustrophobia. I sat back in the middle of my little cage and suddenly I heard voices. I tried shouting for someone to hear me and apparently it worked, because soon after a little door, was opened and the light from the outside blinded me.
When my eyes finally went back to normal, I looked at who had opened the door. It was a strange creature, speaking in a language I didn't understand. And then I saw there were others. There was three of them actually. Those creatures were tall, a lot taller than I was, and they had different skin colors. One of them, I could say he was a male by his features and constitution, helped me out of the 'room' and looked at me in awe.
What? What's going on? I looked from one to the other, and all of them were looking at me with surprise expressed all over their faces. They exchanged looks, talked to each other a little more, and then one addressed to me, but it sounded like gibberish to me.
"What the hell are you saying guys?" I asked, very aware that they didn't understand I word I had just said.
We made our way down the ramp and waited for the General to ask *the* question. He didn't deceive us.
"SG-1, where's Colonel O'Neill?"
I moved passed Daniel and, exchanging a look with him, placed myself before him protectively.
"He's..." I hesitated, looking for the right words, the words with the lowest risk of giving the man a heart attack.
"Right here" Daniel said finally, stepping from behind me and turning the baby around in his arms, effectively making the point that Jack *was* the baby. A smile appeared on the General's face, obviously thinking this was a joke or something, but after a few seconds of gauging each of our faces, his smile soon disappeared to be replaced by a drop of the jaw and then incredulous confusion expressed by a deep frown.
"What...? How...?" he asked us, obviously having a hard time regaining the ability to speak.
"We don't know yet, we came right after it happened, but we did bring the device that seems to have done this to him." I replied as calmly as I could, to convince myself as much as him. An awkward silence fell over the gate room, even the control room, as the General still looked from me to Daniel, to Teal'c and finally to the baby, still giggling and drooling and making baby sounds, apparently happy by the turn of events. Then the General seemed to have made a decision and sighed, weight once more on his shoulders.
"Alright people, report to the infirmary and we'll debrief in one hour."
I would have laughed at Janet's face if the situation didn't scare the hell out of me in the first place. As Daniel handed carefully, and to my bewilderment, almost reluctantly the baby to the doctor, they looked like a happy couple just having adopted a new kid. Smiling and talking ridiculously to the tiny colonel, bent all over him and grinning like idiots. Hey, guys, this is not your baby! This is Colonel O'Neill we're talking about! And as much as I adore the baby version, I want the man back! But they seem not to notice my worried expression and keep on 'aahing' and 'oohing' over the boy.
"Ahem... Janet, could you be a little more professional here, please?" I asked, hoping to interrupt them from their single minded admiration. Janet looked up at me, and seemed to realize what I meant, and she was back in doctor mode once again. She took the boy to the closest bed and started examining him from head to toe.
"Ah... Guys, I think I'll wait outside, just tell me when you're done." I said, not wanting to see more than appropriate of my CO's anatomy. At least not under these circumstances.
"Sure Sam," Janet smiled, her fingers stuck into the baby's little, but strong hands, "do you want me to do a DNA test? To make sure it's really Colonel O'Neill?" She asked, not looking at me, still distracted by the ravaging smiles of the Colonel.
"Janet, it can't be anyone else! He was standing there, and the next thing we know he was gone, and a baby appeared out of nowhere. No need for DNA tests!" I said, involuntarily letting the rage I felt deep inside of me come out. But Janet didn't seem to notice, fortunately.
"If you say so, Sam!" She said way too happily for my taste, still in total admiration of the baby.
I sighed, frustrated, and stormed out of the room.
The strange aliens took me to some sort of an infirmary, by the looks of it, and from there they gave me every test I could think of, but I didn't know what they were for. In fact, they all seemed very interested in my hair. Go figure. They just seemed very impressed and I had no idea as to why. As far as I could see, they *had* hair, different colors than mine, granted, but hey, it's only HAIR. When I started to get impatient and a little angry at them, they stopped and tried to reassure me, in vain.
"What am I doing here? Who are you guys? What do you want from me?" I kept asking these questions over and over, but it was no use. And the more time I spent with them, the more angry I became at not having the answers I was looking for.
When I attended the debriefing twenty minutes later I found out that Janet wasn't so smitten with baby Jack that she forgot all medical protocol.
"I did try to run a D.N.A test on baby Jack's... um... the baby's blood sir," she informed the General " but the results were inconclusive. There is something in the blood that I have never seen before and that the on base machines can't read. I have to send the blood sample to a special lab. We should have conclusive results within a week or two."
"Two WEEKS?" I jumped out of my chair like someone who's been bitten by a snake... She must be joking! That's.... FOREVER!
"Come on Sam! We know it's Jack! A much cuter, calmer, nicer smelling, baby Jack" Daniel was hovering over the small baby that was lying half-naked on a soft blanket on the table. "But it's still Jack!" He started playing with the baby again; Daniel was definitely enjoying this way too much. I looked at the general for some sort of comfort but the fatherly smile that was splashed all over his face made it clear that I was the only one who was baby proof in this room.
"Oohhh I think someone's made a Boo Boo!" Daniel suddenly cried - a Boo Bo? Have we lost our superhuman language skills and are now reduced to baby talk?!
"Well ... debriefing is over" the general got up faster then I thought was humanly possible "SG-1 please take care of the.... Situation. Dismissed!" and a second later he was gone. Not such a hero when it comes to cleaning up Boo Boo's right general? Now it was just the four of us in the room. Daniel standing over the baby knowing there was no way out of it. I looked at Janet and then at the door...I knew there was no way for me to get to the door with out knocking out at least four chairs and one medical doctor... I knew it... and she knew it.
"Got something to do in the lab.... Um.... Bye" never saw ole' doc Fraiser move so fast.
I looked at Daniel - he was still playing with baby Jack but I could see his eyes shifting to me and Teal'c every few seconds.
"Well?" he looked directly at me and gestured to the baby.
"Well what?" play dumb... good strategy!
"You know what!" Daniel pointed to baby Jack.
"You have got to be kidding me!" no way no how!
"Come on Sam! You're a ... you know"
"I'm a what? You are not suggesting that because I'm a woman I know how to change diapers!"
"No no... of course not..." liar liar pants on fire! " I was just thinking it was only fair since I was the one who took care of him since we got back"
"Oh yes... real fair Daniel! You got to play with him and now I get to pick up the leftovers sort of speak! And that's... that's.... my commanding officer! You cannot be serious! I can't do it!"
"Well you can't expect me to do it! That's... Jack! No... I just can't do it... if he remembers what happens here he won't let me forget it!"
"Well I'm not gonna do it!"
"Come on... you do it!"
"No you do it!"
"No you!"
We stood there arguing over the baby for a few minutes when finally we remembered there was another person in the room. Slowly we lifted our heads to the last member of SG-1. A secret alliance was forming between Daniel and me - we had found our victim.
"Teal'c... my good man... what do you know about changing diapers?"
To our astonishment Teal'c was a very skilled Boo Boo cleaning machine - the new nickname he will now have to live with since Daniel found it oh so amusing that Teal'c knew exactly what goes where and how to care for a small child. He even powdered baby Jack's behind and made sure he smelled sweet again.
We spent the rest of the day trying to figure out exactly what had happened, bent over the small artifact until we couldn't take it anymore, a baby stroller just behind us so we could keep our eyes on him. We found nothing conclusive, even if I ran every scan, every tests I could think of, still nothing. Except for the fact that the device had no interior whatsoever, so it couldn't open. Daniel worked just as hard, trying to figure out what the pictographs on each sides of the little pyramid meant, but so far we only had theories. I feared that we would have to go back to the planet sooner than we would have liked.
The first night on base went quite well, especially considering the fact that we had dropped baby Sir at the infirmary for the night and that professional nurses were taking good care of him. And honestly, Daniel and I could do with some rest.
For my part, I had never really considered having kids before, it was always an option that I would, or would not, take when the time came. I mean I love kids, I really do, take Cassie for instance, but I was just not so sure about babies. I'd never had to really take care of one twenty-four hours before and, to be honest, I don't think this little adventure developed the maternal instinct in me. Even with all these questions and existential anxiety in my head, I managed to sleep like...well...a baby.
The morning after though, the nurse's tired faces made me reconsider the truthfulness of that last expression, for apparently, babies do not sleep, or at least not for long when they do. Since I was all rested and recentered, I was ready to take charge of baby Jack. So Daniel, Teal'c and I took the boy and went up on the surface at Daniel's suggestion that the baby should "grab some fresh air".
The morning sun was warm on my face, but the air was still fresh from the last nights of spring. The baby, in Teal'c's strong and secure arms giggled delightedly at the idea of being outside. We all sat on the still humid ground and watched over the now playing baby.
"How old do you think he is?" Daniel suddenly asked, eyes locked on the child.
I shrugged. "I don't know, a year and a half?" I suggested. "After all he can walk and he babbles, even pronounces a few words."
"Yeah, it'd make sense...we should ask Janet..." He replied absentmindedly.
An airman coming towards us interrupted our contemplation.
"Major Carter," he said, " General Hammond would like to see you in his office ma'am."
I looked at Daniel and Teal'c to excuse myself.
"Go on Sam, we'll take care of him." Daniel assured me.
I followed the airman down towards the General's office, but I met him halfway there.
"General! You were looking for me?" I asked as I stepped in pace beside him.
"Yes, I have a special request for SG-1." He couldn't possibly ask us to go off world at a time like this could he? I was about to protest when he finished his sentence. "I'd like you to go to Jack's house and take care of things until we are able to reverse the...situation." Man we really had to find a name for what had happened...
"Things sir?"
"Nothing major, Sam, just take care of his things, moan the lawn, make sure everything's in order and make it like someone's living there. Maybe even water the plants if he has any!" I stopped and he kept on walking, conversation obviously over.
After what seemed like an eternity, they finally let me grab some fresh air, and took me to see their world. I wasn't angry anymore, just very eager to go back, and to understand what was going on. I even had some good times, and sometimes they acted funny around each other and it reminded me of something. Something I needed to go back for. If only I knew what exactly had happened, maybe I could try to explain to them that I didn't belong there and that they didn't have to take care of me as if I was a kid or something. But we still didn't understand each other, and I didn't have very developed linguistic skills.
Their planet looked very nice, with a warm sun, and I guessed it was probably morning by the still wet ground and the still fresh air. They showed me things, just to make conversation, I realized, as we walked, and while I understood nothing, I still managed to get what they meant.
After a long, long walk, they took me to what seemed like a giant parking lot, and I realized how advanced they were technologically. Their means of transportation looked strange beyond my imagination and I couldn't help being excited at the prospect of riding into one of those things. It seemed to be very fast, and I've always loved adventure. So I was more than willing to accompany them until I found a way to go back.
Jack's house wasn't any different when we entered, and I felt kinda disappointed by that fact. I don't know why, but I would have expected something different. I realized what it was when the colonel's *adult* voice didn't welcome us, offer us a beer and reprimand us because we were late.
Oh God...
I suddenly felt like crying, missing him so much it hurt, but I managed to bite back my tears, and looking at the baby in Daniel's arms, it gave me the strength to overcome my own selfish feelings, and I promised myself I would do the impossible to bring Jack to his normal self.
Once I had made my resolution, I was all business, cleaning a bit, make sure all the lights were off and the windows all closed. I was walking into his bedroom when I heard Daniel shout from downstairs.
"Sam, Teal'c and I are gonna get something to eat, we'll be back in a couple of minutes! Take care of Jack!" And I heard the door close.
Uh-oh.
I ran down as fast as I could, trying to catch Daniel before he left, but when I opened the front door, his car was rolling down the street.
I went back inside and looked at the baby, sitting in the middle of the living room. He stared up at me, suddenly very serious, and we locked eyes for a few seconds. I felt like he was trying to tell me something. I tore my eyes away, feeling ridiculous.
Now what? I asked myself as I glanced around.
Damn Daniel.
"So... baby Sir what do you wanna do 'till Daniel and Teal'c come back?" I looked at baby Jack with the growing hope that he would open his mouth and talk right back at me. But all I got was a small smile and a giggle from the baby. He was almost hypnotized by the television, I guess the colors do that to children... Can't see any other reasons why a big purple dinosaur would be world famous.
Walking...he's walking! Well...sorta...how cute! Hmmm...Well...Interesting. I chuckled to myself softly as I stared at him.
I watched as he messed around with the television cabinet for a while but when the television started to waddle I knew it was the time to make my move. I grabbed him and pulled him away...and he didn't like it, to say the least. The orchestra of sounds that left his tiny body after he didn't get what he wanted was amazing. I didn't know so much...noise...could come from one tiny little thing. I guess now I know where he got it all as an adult.
I paced in the living room, trying to calm him down, whispering kind words into his little ear and shushing, but it didn't work. I kept on pacing while rubbing his back and making him jump up and down in my arms, like I had seen so many women do with crying babies. But it didn't work.
"Come on colonel, you gotta help me here." I said desperately. "You know me! You know I don't know what to do, please stop crying!" I pleaded but it didn't work, and I started thinking how I would harm Daniel heavily when he got back. And Teal'c too! The guy doesn't scare me! "Come on baby...I've got nothing against you and it's not that I don't like you...it's just...well...I don't know how to take care of you, I don't know anything about babies...And if I add the fact that you're not really behaving like yourself, well...you are, in a way, but it's not what I mean... What I mean is...I guess I miss you, the real you, the you who's too proud to depend on anyone, the you I trust with my life, the you I... I care about..."
I stopped pacing, looked at the baby's face, and sighed in defeat. "What the hell am I doing? I can't tell you those things! What if you remember any of it when you're back?" I gasped in horror at the thought. Nothing worse could happen! "I really hope you won't!" I added after a while. The baby still was crying in my ear, so I decided to let him do whatever he wanted to do.
"Ok...ok...let's go to the cabinet and see what you found so damn interesting in there shall we? Come on baby Sir, work with me here!" I made my way to the television cabinet with the screaming baby in my arms. The second he saw we were making our way towards the television he calmed down and a small smile appeared on his face. I opened the wooden door and inside I found a big photo album and a few small wooden boxes. To tell the truth, I felt like a horrible snoop going through my commanding officer's stuff like that but the baby wanted to look in the book! Really. He did! And if the baby really was Colonel O'Neill I was only following orders...so to speak...wasn't I? Well it rationalized it for me at the time and that was all that mattered. I dragged the heavy book to the couch with one arm and the baby on the other they kind of grow on you the little suckers don't they? Never been much of a baby person...I'm more into the kids who can actually say a full sentence and mean it...but this one had intelligence in his eyes. And he was cute...and he was starting to grow on me.
What do you know...real baby pictures...of Colonel Jack O'Neill. Now if you told me a week ago that I would be sitting in my commanding officer's house with a baby resting gently on my lap looking at his baby pictures I would have laughed myself silly...But there I was. And there he was. He kept pointing at the pictures and giggled. Yes...you really looked like that Sir and guess what! You look like that now! I can't help myself, I miss the man I knew...the baby is cute but he isn't him. I move my gaze from the book to the baby now sitting beside me and back to the pictures again, trying to find any indication that the baby wasn't Colonel Jack O'Neill...that in fact something else happened and this was all a horrible mistake. But as much as I hate to admit it, the baby was a spitting image of Jack, well they do say all babies look alike but who knows...maybe this was the much younger twin Jack O'Neill never had. I laughed at my own insanity. Who am I kidding? Wake up and smell the diapers Sam. You lost your chance.
"Huggy!!" the baby looked at me and I'm astonished he can even talk...now what the hell does he want?
"Huggy!!" He stretched his short arms to me with a smirk on his face. Still wanting to cop a feel don't ya colonel? But what can I do...so I gave him a hug. And as much as I hate to admit it...it felt good. Here he was this poor defenseless creature depending on me and only I could help him.
"So I see you two have bonded" Daniel... my heart skipped a beat I didn't even hear him come in! Damn him for sneaking in like that!
"Um he wanted a hug" I said nervously...how the hell am I going to explain snooping in the colonel's cabinets??
"And I suppose he also wanted to look at Jack's childhood pictures?" Daniel said with a smirk and moved his attention to the baby beside me.
"How's my boy?" He lifted him up and started flying him around the room, making the child appearing greenish, but giggling nonetheless.
"He did so want to look at the pictures!" Somehow that made a lot less sense than I meant it to.
"Auntie Sam is just using you isn't she? Being caught snooping in your things! But she is rather nice when you get to know her" he kept his eyes on the baby...and I wanted to bury myself...And kill Daniel in the process.
After what seemed like an eternity, I finally managed to understand some of the words they spoke, even trying my tongue at it a little. It was very different from what I had ever heard before, but I slowly managed it. Which made me wonder...How much time had I been here already? It sure felt like a long, long time to me. Whatever had happened to me had a strange effect on my mind. I felt like I knew I had to go back *somewhere* but I had no idea where exactly. I knew I had to go back for *something*, but I didn't know what, and I knew I needed to go back for *someone*, but I wasn't sure who. Everything was vague and blurred, and I realized it was getting worse the longer I stayed here. I seemed to remember remembering something after what happened, but now...
What I needed to do was have a nice, long chat with my...captors. But is that what they were? Captors? They didn't feel that way to me. So far they had all been very kind and caring, trying to make me their own and showing me their ways. But strangely enough, I didn't feel like I belonged here and I really needed to know what had happened to me, especially how to reverse it, whatever it was. But to have a chat, I needed to talk, let alone understand their answers, and for that, I would need time.
Unfortunately, my brain was telling me time was one thing I didn't have.
And they still looked impressed with my hair.
The next day Daniel was called to the base to go to a dig on P5C 569 for a couple of days. At first he had kindly refused, arguing with Hammond about the fact that we needed him here on Earth to help taking care of Jack and find out how the device worked. But the general shrugged him off. Apparently this trip was very important and since we hadn't found out anything about the 'accident' - we called it now - yet, it occurred to him that it might take more time than first anticipated.
So Daniel left reluctantly, fearful of leaving the baby behind in my care, but I reassured him that everything would be fine. After all Teal'c was here too and he was very experienced. And to be honest, I felt like spending time with Jack alone. I don't know where the change of heart came from, but the more I spent time with the kid, the more I wanted to. And when I realized that, I felt an awful wave of guilt flow through me, as if I was betraying the big man by taking care of the little one. But what else could I do? To ease my conscience, I decided to work in the lab again, trying to find out something, anything.
I put Jack in a stroller right behind me, and he too seemed to have got used to me, not crying when I was in a room with him, and smiling when I was paying close attention to him. So I was able to work all day, under his close supervision, as he observed me.
A few hours later, as I was concentrating over the artifact, Jack now sitting on my lap and a sandwich in my free hand, Janet came into the lab.
"Hey!" she said as she made her way to us.
"Hey, heard anything from the labs yet?" I asked, after giving Jack a bite of my sandwich. Janet watched, amused at my change of heart.
"No, still waiting for the results." She moved closer to us and smiled at Jack, soothing his head. I smiled proudly at him, hey I couldn't help it! I felt it was my own doing that he was so calm and playful now. "How 'bout you? Found out anything?" She asked as she picked Jack off my lap.
"This is really weird Janet. I can't imagine anything that could have made what happened...happen. It's just not possible that this artifact could have done anything! There's no energy emitted, no radiation, nothing. It's a piece of rock! It doesn't make any sense!"
"Have you ever thought that maybe it's not the artifact but the whole machine? Or even the atmosphere on the planet?" She asked, rocking the baby.
"Yes of course I've thought about it, but..." I trailed off, not sure I wanted to finish that sentence.
"But, you're afraid to go back because you're scared of what you may find..." Janet finished for me. I sighed and she knew she was right. She handed me the baby once again and left.
What the hell was I supposed to do now?
"Me.... home.... go!" I tried desperately to talk to the strange looking...umm...people in front of me. I think they got what I was trying to say since they started talking endlessly with one another... very fast so I couldn't follow. I have picked up a few words since I have been here, but I'm no Daniel Jackson - language skills aren't my strongest talent. They look worried they keep pointing at me and talking, pointing and talking... maybe my team finally figured out what happened and came to rescue me! Yes rescue... me... go home... I can do that.... I would like to feel myself again!
Daniel Jackson? My team? Where the hell did these thoughts come from?
"Welcome back SG-1" I saw Janet standing in the gate room with Jack in her hands. When he saw me he raised his little hands and demanded to be lifted up.
"He missed you Sam" Janet said with a small smile on her face. "I think baby Jack has decided who he wants as his new mommy, he wouldn't eat a thing while you were gone... and if I took him out of the Gateroom all hell would break loose!" I'm blushing... I know I am... I can't be blushing... he's a baby for crying out loud! Oh man... I took baby Jack in my arms and there was no point in lying to myself... I loved the kid as much as I loved the man... I mean... well.... The kid just grows on you.
It was our first mission since the...accident, and it was a very boring mission...Walking, walking and walking without finding anything very interesting. I think General Hammond knew what was to be expected, and since it was our first mission without Jack...I mean... the colonel, he didn't want us to get into too much trouble. Well it worked but I couldn't wait coming back home and spend some time with Jack again.
"Come on Jacky let's go find uncle Teal'c and change you" I said with a sigh and moved out of the gate room. This is going to be a very long assignment.
I think they understand me now... the big girl, for lack of a better description, has taken a shine to me. She knows what I want and apparently she has convinced the others to let me have it.
"He wants the other bottle Daniel! He is more a banana man then an apple mush kind of a guy. He likes this formula better"
"Nonsense. He will like this one too! It's good for him!"
"And since when do kids like things that are good for them? Come to think of it since when did Jack like anything that was good for him??"
I watched with triumph as Jack throws the unsuitable formula at Daniel's face.
"Jack is it now?" Daniel said with an evil glint in his eyes.
"You don't honestly think I should keep calling him Sir now do you??"
"Oh this is just too good to be true" Daniel looked at me with a weird smile and left the feeding of baby Jack in my capable hands.
"H.... O.... M...E!" Oh for crying out loud what is it with them and my hair! Ok I get the hint! Its gray! Yes yes! GRAY... sheesh! I know there's "Just for men" now but I never been a coloring kind of a guy... geeez! The girl keeps touching my hair and combing it and feeding me like I was some kind of a living puppet. But she understands me, I know she does, and she is my only hope of ever getting back home.
"Come in" I said without looking up from my report.
"Hey, Sam...I think we need to talk." Daniel said as he crossed the room to come and sit beside me on a stool.
"What about?" I asked, still typing and concentrating more on the task at hand than on Daniel's sudden desire to 'talk'.
"Jack..." He said bluntly and this got my attention. I looked up at him and then turned around to watch the baby sleeping in a crib, with his little hands over his face and his hair pointing in all directions.
"What about him?" I asked, never leaving the baby out of my sight.
"Sam, you do realize we're gonna have to do something, eventually, to bring him back to his own self right?"
I looked at the archeologist.
"Yes of course."
"You do realize that human beings cannot live more than one life, that it's against nature to rejuvenate...don't you?" He asked again, his eyes sharp and shining.
"What's your point Daniel?" I asked even though I was pretty sure of where he was going with this.
"I just mean, that maybe you shouldn't get attached too much to the kid, that once this is all over, it won't be possible to turn back, and that Jack would beat the hell out of me if he knew we even considered leaving him as a kid." He said the last bit with a smile, but I knew he was right. As always. I sighed and took another look at the sleeping baby. "Even if he's a whole lot more agreeable to be around."
I chuckled softly and looked back at Daniel.
"Of course we don't have to tell him *that*" I added with a smile of my own.
But then I became sober again. "What do we do?" I asked finally, new resolution in my voice.
General Hammond decided to let us go back so we took the baby, played with him one last time and got ready to embark.
"Good luck!" The general announced over the mike. I saluted him and...
...We walked through.
"Yes!! That's it! Home!" I said one more time, but this time, it was on a happy note. I think the...girl finally understood what the heck I was talking about and we managed to exchange a couple of words, and then she drew some sort of...ring, and I recognized it immediately. The Stargate. From that point, my memory came back; my team, my job, my life, my friends...Everything! And I was all the more eager to go back home and tell them everything that had happened, especially since I've just had it explained to me. I was ready to go back!
All I needed now was to convince her and the others to let me go. And that wasn't so hard. I just made my pleading puppy dog eyes, gave her my best smile, and she was lost.
I even let her take a lock of my hair.
Like the first time we took baby Jack with us through the Stargate, he didn't make any fuss, and he looked all happy and delighted to be doing something. We found the wonderful looking beach again, and the memory of Jack, the adult, so happy to be able to put his feet in the water came back to me, and at this point, any doubts I might have had about loving the baby more than the man evaporated.
Without even realizing it, I began walking faster and Daniel looked at me from under his sunglasses.
"You ok Sam?" He asked as he, too, accelerated the pace.
"Yeah, I guess I just want this to be over with." I replied.
Soon we were able to see the ruins where this stupid situation began and I felt my heart pound heavily inside my chest. When we got there we found nothing out of the ordinary, and everything was just like when we had left.
Daniel didn't waste any time to begin his observations and Teal'c took off his gear to help him. I looked down at the baby in my arms with a mixture of fear and eagerness, but I couldn't tell exactly which feeling was for whom, the baby or the man.
As I was getting ready to sit down and take a sip from my canteen, Daniel's anguished cry made me look up, startled. A bright light came out of the machine and blinded us again, just like the first time, but this time we were all thrown back to the ground by some sort of force that came with the light. When I opened my eyes again, I realized I hadn't let go of the baby, and he was starting to fill his lungs with air, and I knew it was a sign to tell me he was going to cry. I stood back up and looked around, and then I realized. We weren't only four anymore. We were five.
If Daniel hadn't picked up the baby from my arms, I think I would have dropped him as I looked, astounded, at the man standing in front of us.
"Jack....Sir!"
"Well isn't this just peachy! I get kidnapped by a group of very weird aliens and you two sit on the beach and catch a tan!" Jack moved his gaze from me to Daniel and then back to me and finally he let it rest on the baby in Daniel's hands.
"How long was I gone anyway?!" he moved his gaze back to me with a question in his eyes.
"Um, hello Jack" Daniel looked at him with the same astonishment that I'm sure was echoed in my own face. "Good to have you back"
What is it with them?! You'd think they would be happy to see me again! And what is it with the baby? It's not possible is it? Not... not Daniel and Sam. No this has to be some weird twisted unholy reality for this to happen. Or is it? They look like my team, but then again... all they do is stare at me! I walked over to Sam, and her eyes are practically tearing my skin off with that look and she is obvious lost in thought.
"Carter?"
He is talking to me. I know it by the look on his face. He is here. He is full-grown. He is... angry. And he should be... we left him behind. I left him behind. I should have known better. I should have trusted my own instinct and not Daniel's. Oh god. What have we done!
"Carter! Snap out of it will ya? You mind explaining this?" He pointed to the small baby in Daniel's arms.
"Um Sir, we... I mean... Daniel... We... thought... he ... " what is it with me? I can't finish one full sentence! Urgh!
Jack moved his look from me to Daniel and when he saw that he was not going to get a straight answer from him either he turned to the only remaining voice of reason on the beach.
"Teal'c you wanna explain to me what the hell is going on? And if you can try to do it using full sentences that us commoners can understand too" he said that with an evil glint in his eyes.
"We believed that the young boy was you." Teal'c responded with his usual coolness.
"Well was that so hard?" Jack moved his accusing gaze to me " See Carter? Full sentence! You thought the kid was me!" I saw in his eyes that the meaning of the words had finally sunk in " You thought WHAT?"
His look moved from me to the baby and back " You thought.... I ... me.. Was.. You..." he started mumbling things to himself and finally he lifted his hands and started making his way to the Stargate, all the way mumbling things to himself and almost tearing his hair out.
Just before he reached the Stargate a beam shot from the Stargate and scanned him. A second later an enormous purple alien appeared in front of him.
I recognized the little ummm-big girl instantly... she looked sad and her yellow eyes looked at me with astonishment.
"Sir" I heard Carter's voice from behind me filled with worry.
"Easy Major, she is friendly"
"Carter, Daniel, Teal'c I would like you to meet Erc" I tried to sound as friendly as possible when I said that.
"Hi Erc" I let the name roll over my tongue. I looked at Jack waiting for some sort of an explanation.
"They liked my hair" he said, plain and simple. Erc looked at him and said something that could considered to be speech but was totally incomprehensible to me. Jack's eyes widened and he looked at the small baby in Daniel's arms. He ran his hand though his hair a look of disbelief on his face.
"You've got to be kidding me!" he looked at the small baby in Daniel's arms and then back to the alien standing in front of him.
"Jack?" Daniel finally spoke as he followed Jack's gaze.
"Apparently you weren't all that off base" Jack's voice was filled with cynicism " The kid is actually me"
"Ha?" Daniel looked at the baby and then at Jack again.
"A clone" I said slowly as the realization downed on me.
"Yep. They wanted the hair. They made Junior over there and when they saw he didn't have hair... they took me and left him. They assumed you wouldn't mind."
Daniel was about to open his mouth when I gave him a look that made him close it back again.
"They wanted your hair? They didn't know a baby is small? They have such hi-powered technology and they didn't know that?"
I looked at the huge purple alien standing in front of me... this made no sense!
"They know how to use the technology but they don't know how it works" Jack looked at Erc with sympathy. "Their ancestors built this stuff and now there is no one left who knows how the basis of the technology works. So for them it's all a game. They try and fail and try. The older ones from their race had gray hair like we do. They had a theory that the gray hair was the source of all the powers and knowledge of the older ones. "
Daniel couldn't resist this time and I heard him mumble "Well I guess they figured out they were totally off base"
Jack gave him a hard look and tried to ignore him.
"Well they want the kid back, so hand him back Daniel"
Daniel tightened his grip on the baby his eyes showing his terror.
"Give him back? No! I am not giving baby Jack up!"
Oh brother this is gonna be hard.
If Daniel made a fuss of things, I don't know how you can describe how *I* reacted. I mean I knew that giving back the baby was the only possible thing to do, the best thing to do, but a part of me, that part that was scared of getting attached to someone but did it anyway, didn't want me to let go of the kid.
So after watching Daniel fight back some tears and smile sadly down at the boy, and after seeing Teal'c tenderly caressing the baby's head, I knew it was my turn to say my good-byes. The Colonel, the real one, stood aside, as if to give me some privacy, and Daniel and Teal'c decided to go back to the gate, where they'd wait for us.
I took baby Jack from Daniel's arms, and looked into his cheerful brown eyes, not aware of what was going on. He made some excited sounds and babbled, leaving drool on his chin and a big smile on his face. I smiled down at him, but at the same time tears came pricking my eyes, and I felt two contradictory emotions ; the happiness this baby could bring me, and at the same time the sadness of having to let him go.
"This is not fair," I whispered. "The only version of yourself I'm allowed to care about is the one I have to let go of..." As if he had understood the meaning of my words, the baby suddenly looked at Jack, the grown-up one, and I followed his gaze. By the expression on his face, it was obvious that he had heard what I had just confessed, and he looked down at his boots, crossing his arms over his chest and kicking some rocks with his foot.
I looked back at the baby, hugged him as tightly as I could and kissed his head. And then, without another thought, I handed him back to the big...alien.
And then I walked away without looking behind.
I heard the colonel talk with the alien, and thank god, I didn't understand what that was about. I walked as quickly as I could, trying to control the tears that threatened to fall, until I heard him call me to a halt.
"Hey Carter! Wait it up!" I realized he was trying to catch up with me so I stopped and turned around. He jogged until he was beside me and only then did I start walking again. I could see Daniel and Teal'c standing by the Stargate, shoulders down.
"How much time was I gone exactly?" The colonel finally asked when he realized I wouldn't say anything.
"Eight days," I replied matter-of-factly.
"Really? You took care of that baby all that time?" He asked, sounding genuinely surprised.
"Why does that surprise you so much?" I replied, feeling maybe a little hurt at his implications.
"Well, it's not that I'm surprised...it's just...I guess...I'm just...a little surprised! He stammered, knowing he had made a mistake, but also knowing he couldn't get away with it.
"What just because I'm in the air force I can't take care of a baby?" This time I couldn't suppress the rising anger in my voice. I knew I wasn't being fair to him, but that's how I get when I have to let go of someone I care about. The colonel just happened to be the lucky one on whom I lost control.
"Hey take it easy Major," he said as he lifted his hands in defense, "I just...you never told me anything about how you felt about babies, and I...well...just assumed that you didn't care much...yet." He added hurriedly. I don't know what made me angrier, the fact that he didn't believe I could take care of a kid or the fact that he was right.
"Well, sir now you know how I feel about babies!" I added bitterly as I accelerated my pace and effectively leaving him behind. He got the hint and walked a few feet behind me all the way back to the gate.
I didn't know what to make of the situation.
As I saw her say her good-byes to the baby, which she had thought was me, I couldn't help but feel jealous of the kid. And then I overheard whispered words that were destined not to be heard by anyone but a baby who couldn't understand their meaning, and I knew instantly how she felt, because I felt the same. How unfair was it that the only version of myself that could get close to her was the version that didn't know what was happening? That didn't feel the way I do, or at least that wasn't aware of these feelings?
And it surprised me that she cared so much for a baby that wasn't hers. I didn't believe her to be the 'mother' type, at least not yet. But at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder, did she get attached so much because she thought it was me? I know that, situation reversed, it would have scared the hell out of me to think that Carter was reduced to a baby once again and not knowing what would happen. I get shudders just to think about it. But then, how did she manage to care so much?
That was precisely the question hanging on my tongue while we walked back to the gate. I tried to make small talk but Sam wouldn't have any of it, so I figured maybe it was best to leave it all to rest for a while, let her sort things out by herself, like she usually does.
When we arrived there, Teal'c began entering the symbols on the DHD, and Daniel took care of the GDO. I looked from one sad face to the other and I almost asked if they wanted me to go back with the aliens and give them back the baby instead.
It sure would have made things easier.
It wasn't easy to give away the baby things we had bought for baby Jack; his stroller, some of his toys. I kept the little baseball cap Daniel had given him though, for some reason I needed to keep something.
I was sitting in my lab, staring into space, when a knock on the doorframe startled me.
"Hey", the Colonel said as he came further into the room.
"Sir," I acknowledged him, trying to look busy at something, anything.
"How you holdin' up?" He asked bluntly as he sat beside me.
"What do you mean?" I tried desperately to find something to busy myself with. When I grabbed a pen, the colonel gently took it from my hand to make me look at him. He made this 'you know what I mean' face, and I sighed, looking at my hands on the table.
"Sorry sir." I finally said, throwing him side looks from time to time.
"For what?" He said as he too began playing with the pen he had taken from me seconds ago. I took it from him and threw it on the table, out of our reach. He smiled at my action, but said nothing, still waiting for my answer.
"For leaving you behind, for not trying harder to bring you back, for..." I cut myself off, afraid to fall into insubordination. "For a lot of things." I finally said.
"You shouldn't be sorry Sam, I'm sure you did everything you could. And I wasn't any better, I didn't even remember who I really was or where I belonged. Everything came back to me when Erc explained what had happened. At that moment I knew I had to go back where I belonged to, to whom I belonged to..."
I looked up at him, surprised at his confession, but he was staring off into space, just as I had been moments before.
"What happened?" I asked then, somewhat changing the subject.
"Well I convinced them to let me go, I even gave them a lock of my hair you know?" He said, trying to lift the mood. I smiled and instantly looked at his hair, trying to see if a lock was indeed missing. But since his hair was short, it was hard to tell.
We fell into an awkward silence until I decided to be honest with him.
"You know you were right", I said after a moment, "I had never really considered taking care of a baby until now. It was always an option, something I would or wouldn't choose to do in an undefined future. When Jack..." I threw a look at him, "I mean the baby first came, I had no idea how to take care of him. I felt that if I got attached to him I'd betray you in some, weird, way, and I couldn't let myself do that to you. So I tried not to care, but then, I realized how joyful a baby can be, and I..." I trailed off, not sure about what I wanted to say next. When I looked back at the colonel, he seemed thoughtful, looking down at his hands and biting his lips. "I'm sorry sir." I added, thinking I had hurt him.
His head snapped up at my apology and I could see confusion in his eyes.
"Sorry? Sam, for God's sake you don't have to be sorry for caring!" He said, and I guess he was right, when you put it that way...
"Even so I...I didn't mean to leave you behind."
"Well, I don't think you did Sam, you took that baby back with you, and if it'd really been me, I would have been very proud to have such friends, who would help me even when I...well.. get in trouble." He grinned. "Thanks for saving my counterpart's ass, I'm sure he'd agree with me on that." He added as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder. His grin contagious, I smiled too.
"Wanna go lift up Daniel's mood?" He asked as he stood, his hand still on my shoulder.
I chuckled and stood too.
"Nah, he'll be fine." I said with a smile. "Just give him some of your childhood pictures, he'll survive." I said as I walked out of my lab. He stopped walking and as I turned the corner, I heard him say "Carter? What pictures did you see exactly?"
I smiled. Yep, the colonel was back!
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