Dead Man Walking
Dead Man Walking
by Ravital Aichler and Amelie Allard
TITLE: Dead Man Walking
AUTHOR: Ravital Aichler and Amelie Allard
EMAIL: amelieallard@hotmail.com and admin@indomitus.com
CATEGORY: SJ angst/romance/UST, future story
SPOILERS: Shades of Grey, and maybe minor ones for some other episodes, but nothing really significant
SEASON / SEQUEL: set about 8 years after Children of the Gods
RATING: PG 13, nothing bad in there
CONTENT WARNINGS: male/female relationship
SUMMARY: Left in charge of SG-1, Sam continues to fight the belief that Jack died years ago.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: SJA and Heliopolis, yes, please
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. "Always getting better" belongs to Blue Rodeo, used without permission.
AUTHOR'S NOTES/ DEDICATION: Ravital and I would like to thank DustDevil for being such a good beta reader! Thanks for everything! And we'd also like to dedicate this story to Mel Gibson, without telling you exactly why
FEEDBACK: Please! We had lots of fun writing it, but it would be even funnier to know if you liked it or not! You can send feedback either to me or Ravital, but PLEASE do!
"Slow down I want to go with you
Can't wait here awhile
And I'll watch you smile
And we'll hide away and let the world go by"
Blue Rodeo
Star travelling has never been the same without him. Not so much the star travelling as the SGC. At first I didn't really believe or accept that he was dead. I mean after all we ever faced together we always survived, sometimes with more luck than skill, and I had grown to develop this "magic feeling" that anybody else could die except us. We were invincible when we were together. We were SG-1, the flagship, the best team the SGC could dream of because each one of its occupants had something special. Daniel was a wonderful archeologist, curious, skeptical and so caring; Teal'c a Jaffa warrior, more loyal than anyone I've ever known. I had been host to Jolinar, which left me with powers and a wisdom that nobody else on the planet could have ever dreamed to have; and Jack O'Neill... Jack O'Neill was a wonderful man, sarcastic and gruff but still wonderful.
I don't think there was ever a day that passed by without me thinking about him. Whether it was when I had to explain something scientific to Major Eilan, my second in command, and he made that same little cute confused face that O'Neill used to make. That face that used to scream 'I so want to understand what the heck you're talking about but there's no way I could dream of it', with the eyebrows furrowed together in a frown, his eyes sparkling with interest as well as total confusion. Or whether it was when someone called me Colonel and I didn't turn around because I've only known one person wearing that title and really deserving it.
Yeah...I am a Lieutenant Colonel now and the leader of SG-1. I have been since we lost O'Neill, almost four years ago. He wasn't supposed to die. At least not when we weren't there to say goodbye or save him, if it was possible. When we were all together everything ended fine, but I guess that's it, we *weren't* together. We weren't there to watch out for each other, for him, and I guess that if I die tomorrow this will be my only regret. Among other things neither one of us could admit given our positions in the SGC. Hammond would have never forgiven us if we did anything against the regulations and I don't think O'Neill would have permitted anything to happen, but to tell the truth, we never really talked about it. There were only hints, touches, glances that somehow meant a lot more to me than any words could have meant.
"Colonel!" I turned sharply around to look at whoever had snapped me out of my reverie. Major Eilan stood there, tall and handsome, a hand on Daniel's shoulder who was trying to catch his breath, bent in two with hands on his knees.
"Maybe we should take a little break...This planet sure is hot! We have to drink something before we collapse." He added and he was right, it was hot, and I was too caught up in my own thoughts to realize the others were having difficulties following.
"Yes of course, Major..." I replied apologetically, wiping the sweat from my face with my sleeve.
"Jeez I hate these desert planets..." Eilan said as he dropped himself to the ground, taking a sip from his canteen.
His comment made me look around and he was right, it was a desert, with nothing but hard sand and some sorts of cactus. If I hadn't known better I would have said that this planet was uninhabited, with this killing sun and hot temperature, but unfortunately for us, this planet was inhabited and we had to pay the population a visit. In fact, I don't really know why Hammond decided to send *us*. I mean another SG team had already established a contact with the inhabitants. Apparently, this planet was some sort of a huge meeting market, where different races sold their things to others, exchanging goods. The previous team that came here said that there was Goa'uld weaponry, Tok'ra devices and other things that they thought could interest us. And it did! I mean this was a great opportunity to get ourselves some nice alien technology, but I would have passed the walk in the sand part. I hate these sandy planets.
"How far Sam?" Daniel asked, putting back on his sunglasses and his hat.
"I'm not sure...Probably a mile, maybe two. We should get there soon. But even sooner if we continue making our way now." I said as I put my canteen back into my pack. The guys got the hint and got up, a bit reluctantly if I judge by Daniel's slow movements. Eilan was as sharp as ever, jumping up and putting his backpack back on energetically. Teal'c was as calm as usual and he had been even more since O'Neill died. It was as if the colonel was the only one who could make him laugh, or for his case, smile. Eilan's had the same wicked sense of humor, but it didn't really work with Teal'c. Even after four years together, with Eilan as a replacement, we didn't get as close to him as we did with the colonel in our first four years together. Maybe because we always knew in our hearts that he couldn't really be replaced. But this didn't mean that we left Eilan as an outsider. No, we accepted him freely and happily, because we knew he was a good and smart officer. And he hadn't let us down once.
We made our way slowly through the dunes but we still managed to move rapidly, considering the difficulty. When I heard a noise coming from in front of us, I sharply looked up and realized we were finally there. Down the hill, maybe half a mile down there, was the market. I never thought it could be so big. There were lots of people too, and from what I could see, a lot of alien species as well. The guys arrived at my side and stopped to contemplate the view.
"Wow...*That's* a flea market!" Eilan exclaimed as he looked down with the binoculars.
"What is a flea Major Eilan?" I don't think Teal'c is ever gonna understand the principle of statements. Eilan looked back at him with a smile, handing me the binoculars as he answered.
"It's a bug. Tiny bug. Usually jumping on animals..." he said as he made the gesture.
"Why then did you refer to this as a...'flea market'?" Teal'c wondered again.
I tried to hide my smile as I heard Eilan sigh.
"It's an statement Teal'c." He finally answered exasperatedly.
"I see."
"Come on guys, let's see what's good in there!" I announced as I began to make my way down.
The market place was even more hectic then I thought it would be. I could hear merchants shouting at each other and at the shoppers, announcing their goods in some foreign language I couldn't understand. There was a strange smell that filled the air, a mix of the sweet smells of exotic herbs and the stench coming from the various burden animals that stood next to each store. There were some animals I could recognize from my travels, and even a camel or two but most were of species I had never seen before. One of the locals, a small man dressed in a loose fitting pants and a large dirty shirt that covered his upper body, approached us as soon as we entered the market. He pointed at the SGC tag and started mumbling something I didn't understand.
"Hello we are peaceful explorers from Earth. I am Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter" I tried to introduce myself but the man just gave me a strange look and started pointing at one of the far away stands. He kept repeating the same word over and over again "Hamachlif".
"He says we should look for the swapper" Daniel finally intervened and offered his translating skills. "It's a form of Hebrew mixed with an Arabic dialect I think, very old, it comes from..."
"Yea ok who's this swapper guy?" I cut Daniel off. I hate to say it but some of Jack's not too pleasant habits rubbed off on me since I started commanding SG-1. I love Daniel, I really do, but he does have a tendency to go on more than necessary sometimes. Daniel turned to the man and started a slow conversation with him.
"Apparently this swapper is the guy we need to talk to if we want to get anything of value around here. There isn't anything or anyone he can't find. And he is the only one here who can speak English" Daniel translated the man's words slowly with that glint in his eyes he always gets when he proves once again what an asset he is to SG-1.
"So let's go swap something." I said as I started making my way towards the small stand the man pointed to.
The swapper's stand looked like all the others. Nothing in the humble display could indicate that this man was any different then the other merchants around him. Eilan examined the merchandize that stood on display carefully. He had this annoyed look on his face when he turned back to look at me.
"Nothing but junk. All this way for nothing! There is nothing here we can't find in any second hand store on Earth"
At the sound of our voices a young boy jumped out from under the stand. He had a huge grin on his cute face as he carefully checked each and every one of us. Finally, he decided we were safe and, after he looked carefully at our uniforms, he turned to me and raised his right hand for a handshake.
"I am Palis. You wish to swap?" his English atoned me. This boy in front of me could not be the swapper could he? He was too young for such a title, but he looked confident at what he was doing.
"Ye...yes we wish to swap. Are you the swapper?" Daniel asked as he offered his hand to the boy to shake.
"No of course not. I am but a boy. I will go get the machlif for you" and the next thing we knew he was gone.
He returned minutes later with a tall man following him. The man was dressed in long desert robes that covered every part of his body. If I didn't know any better I would have sworn he was one of the Bedouins of the Sahara dessert. His face was covered by a long cloth that was wrapped around his head and tucked neatly under the turban on his head, the only part of his face that was visible were his eyes.
"This is the machlif." The boy announced with pride as he pointed at the man standing beside him. I studied the man standing before me carefully. There was something familiar about him but I could not put my finger on it; maybe it was the way he stood with his hand protectively resting on the boy's shoulder and the other tucked in a hidden pocket in his long robes.
"I am Daniel Jackson that's Teal'c, Major Eilan and Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, our leader" Daniel finally broke the silence with the normal introductions.
"I am the machlif, what do you wish to trade?" his voice was deep, too deep to be natural. It was as if he was deliberately trying to distort his voice, and he had this accent, rolling his "r"s like the natives would have done.
"We heard there are some Goa'uld weapons to be found here" I started the negotiations slowly.
"For those who are willing to pay" he said a little more softly his voice barely audible.
"We are willing." I said slowly.
"Follow me" he started walking through the market place and after a few minutes he ducked into a small side street and then into a little corner shop.
"Here is my weaponry for sale. All transactions done in gold naturally " he lifted a dirty rag off one of the crates that sat on the dirty floor. On it rested a few Goa'uld ribbon devices and zat guns, two long rage communication devices and one object I couldn't identify. It looked more like Asgard in the making than Goa'uld.
"What's this?" I pointed to the unfamiliar item.
"Aaah the lady has expensive taste. That's an Asgard long rage viewer. With it a person can see for miles, it can even allow a person to look through solid objects till he finds his target. It is my prize possession."
"And I bet you will want a prize price for it too" I heard Eilan mumble from behind me.
"Daniel negotiate a price with him" as mild mannered as he seemed Daniel was a killer shark when it came to negotiating skills. He was my best shot for the best price. After a few minutes the two men finally decided about a price.
"We will be back with your payment" Daniel said his good-byes and we started to leave when Palis suddenly appeared at the entrance and shouted something to the machlif. I didn't understand what he was saying but I saw the panic on his face.
"The Goa'uld are coming" Daniel shouted "We have to get back to the Stargate!" what happened next was confusing and disorganized. We packed our things with haste moving as fast as we could. And then I heard it. The single sentence I had been longing to hear since the day he died.
"Oh for crying out loud!"
I stopped dead in my tracks and stopped breathing. I felt like my heart had just stopped beating in my chest. Even with the death gliders shooting people all around me and merchants screaming in panic and sometimes pain when they fell, I couldn't move. I was frozen in my tracks. And then, very slowly, I turned around on my heels and saw the swapper running with Palis in his arms towards a shelter. I knew that run. I would have recognized it anywhere.
It was Jack O'Neill's run.
Still running for shelter, his head suddenly turned in my direction and our eyes met. I held his gaze and I couldn't even begin to understand how on earth I didn't recognize those deep brown eyes. Those eyes I used to love so much. Just as I was about to run towards him, as if I were attracted to him by some kind of magnet, a strong hand grabbed my arm and suddenly I was back to hearing all the terror around me. I turned around and broke eye contact with...O'Neill to look into the worried eyes of Major Eilan.
"Come on Colonel we gotta go NOW!" He shouted as he dragged me away from the market, blasts of Goa'uld weapons chasing us. We ran and ran until we realized that whatever the Goa'uld were trying to destroy it wasn't us. So we made our way back to the Stargate and I was so in shock I didn't say anything the whole time.
"Sam you ok?" Daniel asked as he came beside me.
"Yeah I'm fine..." I answered vaguely as I began entering the symbols on the DHD to make our way home.
Before walking through, I took a hopeful look behind at the smoke far away in the sky, where the market used to be.
"Welcome back SG-1! You made some good catches?" General Hammond asked as we made our way down the ramp.
"More than you could ever imagine sir." I replied flatly and this got curious glances from my teammates as well as from Hammond himself.
"Colonel?"
"General I'd like to talk to you alone if possible." I answered, unable to hide my excitement and eagerness.
"Alright! My office." He gestured me to walk before him with his arm and I did, leaving a perplexed Daniel behind.
The General closed the door behind him and gestured for me to take a seat but I couldn't, for some reason, I felt like I had to stand. He went to sit behind his desk anyway and waited for me to talk.
"Sir I..." I sighed, "I have no idea how to say this..."
"Cut to the point Colonel, that's the best way."
"Yes sir." I said, glancing down at my boots. "I have reasons to believe that Colonel O'Neill is still alive, sir." I stated, trying in vain to make my voice not to sound too shaky. At the sound of O'Neill's name, Hammond's head snapped up, his eyes narrowed.
"What makes you say that Sam?"
The use of my first name was pretty uncommon and I guess he must have been taking this very seriously.
"I...saw him. Sir." His silence encouraged me to explain myself. "When we were in the market, someone advised us to go see the machlif, the swapper" I added when I saw his confused face "and I didn't recognize him at first because he was wearing this outfit and this clothe all over his face. But then the Goa'uld arrived and started shooting and I heard something only O'Neill could have said under those circumstances."
"What's that Colonel?" He asked suspiciously.
"Ah...For cryin' out loud. Sir."
I think he would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so serious. But luckily for me, he merely sighed and ordered me to sit and I did, sensing he had something to admit.
And he had.
I had never been so scared to be recognized in my whole life. Whatever you may think, you don't play dead for so long for nothing. I had my reasons, and I'm sure that Carter, Teal'c and Daniel knew them by then. Damn the Goa'uld. Everything was going fine, they were even ready to leave, with Asgard technology, I might add, which I sold to them at a very low price way to go Daniel -, and then the bad guys decided to show up. And it slipped my tongue! I really didn't do that on purpose! I was used to lying and I don't know why I slipped. And I guess that's how Carter recognized me, trying to get to me before...the soldier took her away. But I guess it was for the best. The Goa'uld were attacking and we had to move, and so did Carter. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if anything happened to her because of me. I just hoped she wouldn't try to come and get me back. I had a life now, a stressing and dangerous life but still, I had been able to manage so far. Why did she have to come and break all the solid walls I had built up?
I must admit she hadn't changed at all, after four years of star travelling and making both war and peace, she still looked exactly the same. Same face, same color of hair, same figure, same voice and same smile. And I was kinda glad that she hadn't changed, because I had come to forget about the details of her features during all this time, and it saddened me in a way greater than I could have imagined. But she was still the same Sam Carter I had always known, on the outside, at least. I would have loved to be able to talk to her, tell her that it was me under this tunic, tell her that she still looked as beautiful as the first day we met. But I couldn't tell her those things could I?
When I first decided to leave, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And even now when I look back, I still don't know if I made the right decision. I knew my team members were ready to lay down their lives for me if necessary but I was not about to let them do that. I was not about to let HER do that. The thought of being away from Sam was hard but it came second to the thought of knowing she was dead because of me. So I made my decision and now I have to live with it.
When I looked into her eyes I knew she recognized me. She had only surprise and shock in her eyes but I guess the anger will come later. How could I explain this to her? To any of them? I was no longer the Jack O'Neill they knew. I was now the man with no name. The machlif.
Or was I?
I looked down at the sleeping boy. We found shelter at one of the desert caves we used to hide the smuggled things from sight. He was still scared, even in his sleep he would not let go of my clothes. Rubbing himself on to me not wanting to let go. I remember when I first met Palis. It was two and half years ago. I was just getting used to being on my own, a runaway even from my own species. A man without a home. His home planet was pretty much like Abydos. In many ways he reminded me of Skarra, he had the same fire, courage and loyalty in him. His parents were killed and in their society a child with no parents is worse than any barn yard animal. He was dirty and severely underfed, and I just couldn't look away. I took him with me promising to find him a good loving home in the next world I'd go to. I even tried leaving him behind one time. It was a simple world with good people. And I did find a family that was willing to take him. But Palis had other ideas in mind. He followed me and dialed the gate on his own. At first I was angry but he didn't budge. 'You are mine now' he said. ' And I am yours. We belong together'. And I just took his hand and never let go. He was my family then and in a way he was what gave me hope for a better life. Palis also turned out to be a good businessman. As small as he was, that kid was sharp and I have to admit I owe much of my so-called reputation to him. He had proven himself to be an asset in my travels.
Things had quieted down outside, the danger was gone, so I got out of the cave under the mask of darkness to see the destruction that the Goa'uld had left behind. The night was lighted with the fires that consumed every corner of the small town and even then in the middle of the night
I could see the Stargate shining in the distance, lit by the flames of devastation. I walked slowly to the shop that had been my home for the past few weeks. I stayed too long. I guess I thought that for once I could stay still, let go of the fear. But the Goa'uld had found me, found us. It was time to move again. I took what I could salvage from the shop and started to leave, and that's when I saw it. A small olive green cap. Identical to the one I used to wear. On the inside I could still see the writing, my writing "Colonel Jack O'Neill's property. Touch at your own risk. Loose it and die!" She kept it. After all these years she still kept it.
A smile appeared on my lips as I remembered the day I gave it to her. We were on a mission on an uninhabited planet and we had to stay there for a couple of days so that Daniel could play the archeologist. The campfire was warm and the stars were shining and Carter and I were the only ones up so late since Daniel always used to fall asleep in a second and Teal'c sat in meditation. I was cursing because my cap didn't have the exact curve I wanted it to have so Carter took it laughingly from my hands and began curving it properly.
"Carter, stop," I said suddenly, "don't move..." I added in a hushed voice as I slowly took the cap from her hands.
"What? What is it?" She asked worriedly, completely still except for her eyes that were moving form one side to the other.
"There's...something on your...head" I lied quietly, lifting the cap in a threatening position so that Carter would believe it was a bug or something. But instead of hitting her, I placed the cap gently on her head and she looked up at me with a surprised look.
"There. You keep it! The curve fits your face better." I added with a smile. She grinned back, taking the cap off her head and looking at it between her hands.
"Sir, you can't give me your cap, it's your favorite!" She said handing it back to me.
"No Carter! I give it to you to keep. Always. Understood?" I told her in a military way.
"Yes sir." She smiled and put it back on.
"Plus it's your color..."
I still couldn't believe she had followed my order and kept wearing it. I smelled it and I was delighted to realize it was the scent of Carter's shampoo. In a burst of nostalgia, I took my turban off the top of my head and tried my cap, feeling the smooth fabric, probably from all those years of wearing, and the comfort I got from it.
Unfortunately, this was too big an ID tag for me to carry on my head, so I put it in my pack and headed back inside the cave where Palis still lay. I dropped myself beside him and waited, waited for my informer from Earth to tell me where to go next.
I opened my eyes at dawn and I had to curse someone for letting myself falling asleep. This was neither the time nor the place to relax. I shook Palis' shoulder and he sleepily fluttered his eyes open, smiling when he saw my face.
"Come on big fella...We gotta move." I whispered as he yawned. I stretched the stiff muscles of my back and arms and then got up, picking up all my stuff. I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard the footsteps echoing in the caves. Footsteps coming our way.
"Damn..." I muttered, feeling the old panic coming rising in my chest. I gestured Palis to stay quiet with a finger on my lips and I slowly moved to take my zat out of my pack. The footsteps were approaching slowly and I gulped, raising my zat at the entrance, ready to shoot when I'd have to. Suddenly a lean figure jumped in the way and my finger moved faster than my mind, recognizing the intruder only once I had shot.
"Bastard..." She muttered, lying on her back, still suffering the effects of the zat.
I took a step in her direction, but stopped when she raised a gun at me. I sighed as I lifted my hands in defense and she took the opportunity to stand up again.
"The Lady is not as stupid as you may think machlif!" she said coldly.
"Carter..." I tried but she cut me off.
"Shut up Colonel. Now sit down. Next to the boy." She said with a wave of the gun. I did as I was asked, not out of fear she would hurt any of us, but to let herself express her anger at me. I knew she had all the rights in the world to be angry. She came to sit in front of us, observing us very carefully, with a satisfied smile on her lips, still waving her gun around at us. I glanced at Palis and he looked scared to death.
"Carter, take the gun down will ya? You're scaring my little friend here."
She snorted and put the gun away, placing it in her holster.
"Your friend? Let me tell you about the friends who spent the last four years mourning your death." She replied flatly. Suddenly her eyes traveled to my pack and she spotted my her cap. She stretched her hand and I gave it back to her. To whom it belonged.
"I was looking for it." She said putting it back on.
"Can I speak now?" I asked, exasperated.
She nodded slowly, always watching us carefully.
"Alright...First of all, what the hell are you doing back here? You're supposed to be back on Earth living happily ever after. Second of all, what the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you know you're risking your life coming here? Third of all, what the hell are you doing here? Don't you have a team to look after, or did you just leave them somewhere?" I asked angrily. She held my gaze steadily and she took in everything I said very calmly.
"First of all, do you really think any of us could live happily ever after after we thought we'd lost you forever? Second of all, I'm here to give you the address of your next destination, and, yes, I know I'm risking my life. Third of all, yes, I do have a team to look after, but unlike a certain person I know I wouldn't leave them anywhere, even if my life depended on it. Or yours, for that matter."
Ouch. That hurt. I guess I had forgotten she could be that stubborn. I sighed in defeat and this seemed to amuse her because she looked down to try to hide her smile from me. Of all the things she could do, this was the worst punishment she could ever give me so I stretched my hand warily, afraid that if I touched her she would vanish away, or simply *push me* away. But as my shaking fingers came in contact with the skin of her chin, her eyes came back up to mine and she leaned in unexpectedly to hug me furiously, crushing her body against mine. I returned the hug tightly, encircling her with my arms and soothing her.
"God I missed you..." she breathed and I hugged her even more tightly, showing her without words I was never good with those - I was feeling the same. After a moment she disentangled herself from me and she came to sit closer to us. I smiled at Palis, who was looking at us with could be only described as disgust on his little features. I started laughing when I saw his statement and he frowned, wondering what was going on.
"Palis...This is my friend, Major Samantha Carter. Sam, Palis." I said and they shook hands, Palis a little reluctantly.
"Actually, I'm a Lieutenant Colonel now."
I turned back to look at her. I had forgotten that. Daniel did introduce her as a Lieutenant Colonel, but I guess I was too busy pretending to really realize what it meant. And now that I did, I had so many regrets. Her promotion was just another reminder of all that I had missed in the past few years, all the comforting I couldn't do, for my own death, I might add, all this joking and laughing when we used to hang out together, or simply the star travelling. Being with my team. Being with my friends.
"Right...Sorry, old habits." I apologized vaguely. "Sam...I've always wanted you to know something...I..."
"Sir, you don't have to say anything. General Hammond told me everything." She interrupted.
"No...I meant, that I've always wanted to tell you how sorry I am for my behavior towards you, all of you," I confessed, waving a hand toward the exit, "but since you know everything, you must probably know that I didn't have much choice."
"I think you did..." she said and I could see she meant it. "You could have told us, you could have told ME. I thought we were friends" she lifted a shaky hand and brushed her finger over my cheek.
"How could you let me think you were dead for four years?" she stared at me waiting for an answer. An answer I didn't have for her. Oh yes, sure I could have given her all the logical explanations that kept me sane for the past years. I could have described in detail the danger I was in from enemies both within the SGC and from other planets. I could have told her all of that, but it wouldn't have answered her question. Logic had nothing to do with it. And when I looked deep into those blue eyes I knew that I had no answer for her, because I had no answer for myself. We stared at each other. It had been four years. Four long years since I had lost myself in those blue eyes. I wanted to hold her, I wanted to be able to look into those eyes and not see the pain I had caused. But this was not the time or the place for this conversation. I heard shouting at a distance and that told me it was time to move. I tore my gaze from hers and, taking Palis' hand in mine, I moved to the entrance to look at the morning sun making its first appearance over the dunes to the east. It was going to be a hot day, even in this early morning the air was hot and dry.
"So where am I going next?" I said without turning to look at her.
"P5x-957. It's a new planet SG-1 found about 3 weeks ago. It has a comfortable environment and you could lay low there for a while until things calm down. And I am going with you."
I could barely hear the last sentence that left her mouth and I turned sharply to look at her. She pretended to be busy with her pack, organizing things - all the things I knew that were in perfect order since she had left the SGC.
"You're not coming with me." I said quietly.
"Yes I am" she never lifted her gaze from the pack. I crouched down in front of her and I put my hand under her chin making her stare at me.
"No you're not" I repeated in the same low voice.
"It's not up to you Colonel" she empathized my rank as if to remind me I was still a military person. "I have my orders" she got up sharply and started to make her way down the hill. Palis looked at her as she stormed out the cave and then back to me.
"She likes you. I can tell. " He said with a childish grin on his face.
"She is an old friend. Nothing more." I took my things and started to make my way down the hill to follow Carter.
"If you say so Sayeedi" I could hear Palis' voice from behind me followed by a string of boyish giggles.
Kids. Who needs them.
We walked all the way back to the Stargate in silence. I couldn't talk to him now. I needed time to think. How is it that after all this time he still could touch me so deeply without even trying? And besides some more gray hair and a few more scars both physically and mentally I was surprised to find almost no differences on his face. He had a tan which highlighted his brown eyes even more and his hair was still as tousled as it had always been, maybe a bit longer than he used to wear it before. But still the same man I had always known. However, I was sure he would offer a whole lot more resistance to the idea of me joining him. It had taken me a while to convince Hammond. And even then he only agreed after I threatened to resign from the SGC and the air force. I did expect a lot more shouting from Jack's side, but he only used this low and calm voice. I guess he had changed, he was more at ease. He might have been on the run all the time but I could see calmness in his eyes I didn't see before and I think it had something to do with the boy.
We stood in front of the Stargate and started dialing the address. And then both Jack and Palis turned towards the sun. Palis raised his little hands and said something in some unfamiliar language. Jack repeated the gesture and only after they had both done it did they turn back to the Stargate and moved towards me. I looked at Jack waiting for some sort of explanation.
"He believes it brings luck." He shrugged. "And if I learned anything in the past four years is that you can never have too much luck"
"Where is she General?" I asked angrily. "If you tell me that she's KIA because she went with another SG team and they couldn't save her, I won't buy it. I heard that before."
"Dr. Jackson!" He said severely, "sit down and calm down. Please."
I did as I was asked because I knew that as angry as I could be at that moment, the General could get even angrier due to my behavior. He took a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself down and I exchanged a look with Teal'c. Sam had been gone for two days and I had to admit that I believed her cover story at first, but then a feeling of dj vu crept into my mind and I began to panic. What if the same thing that happened to Jack happened to Sam too? But then I realized. What if what happened to Jack never really happened? What if, for some reason, they declared him dead while he was only hiding from something? I don't know where that thought came from, but it came to me as a flash of intuition, so I kept it in mind and held on to it.
When we came back from the market, Sam was pretty upset, I thought she had seen a ghost or something, but then I realized that she had. In a way. I should have recognized him myself in the first place, but his death was so clear for me that I would have never thought he could still be alive, after all this time. I guess I thought wrong, and for once I was happy to be wrong.
"He's still alive isn't he?" I asked eagerly, maybe even grudgingly.
The General's head snapped up and he stared between me and Teal'c for a moment. I guess for once he wasn't so happy we were not stupid. He got up and walked to the door, making sure it was well locked, and then turned back to stare at us, wondering if he should tell us. But he told us as much by just his hesitation. Now he had to consider how much to tell us. He came back to his chair, and hitting the desk with his fist, he made his decision.
"I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything Dr. Jackson."
"You can't just tell me that sir." I retorted surprisingly.
"Oh I believe I can son."
"General Hammond, I do believe you owe it to Daniel Jackson and I to admit where Lieutenant Colonel Carter is." Said Teal'c.
"You already know where she went Teal'c."
"I do not believe it to be the entire truth General."
"General", I tried again, this time more quietly, "please, just tell me if she really went with the Tok'ra. If she really did, I won't ask any more questions. I'll go back to my lab and study some stuff to pass the time. But if she's not...just, tell me, please." I claimed convincingly.
He took another breath, chewing on his cheek, considering my offer while his fingers tapped the desk nervously. Then he stopped and looked at me in the eye.
"She's not with the Tok'ra. At least not anymore."
I clapped my hands together eagerly as I realized I was right. So if she's not with the Tok'ra, she's with someone else. Someone hiding. Someone like Jack.
"Thank you General."
He merely nodded, not really looking pleased with himself for admitting this. He knew that he confirmed to me a lot more than he was supposed to and I'm sure it sickened him. I got up and made my way to the door, Teal'c on my heels. Before opening the door, I turned back to look at him.
"She's gonna bring him back right?" I asked hopefully.
He smiled and let out a breath.
"Good day Dr. Jackson." He said, taking a pen and beginning to read a report.
I stayed there for a moment, watching him, and then decided not to push it and go. I walked through the doors and Teal'c followed me, soon walking up to my side.
"What are your suspicions Daniel Jackson?" He asked as we made our way along the corridors.
"I think..." I stopped as a SF passed by us. "I think we should get somewhere private." We began walking to my lab in silence when a scolding voice coming from behind startled me.
"Dr. Daniel Jackson! What are you conspiring this time?"
I turned to look at her, exasperated she could read me so easily. She was standing there, hands on her hips, frown on her face, and she reminded me of my mother, trying to keep me out of trouble.
"Janet, what could possibly make you think I'm conspiring to do anything?" I asked innocently but she just frowned more. I knew I could trust Janet, she had been my friend for about eight years now, but I didn't want to put her in an awkward, or even risky position. Jack was hiding for a reason, and I was certain he was doing it to protect us. But as I looked into her stubborn eyes, I knew I couldn't hide anything from her watchful eye.
"Ok...just...come with us." I said hurriedly as I took hold of her elbow and we began walking to my lab again. I closed the door behind us and leaned on my desk, crossing my arms on my chest as I mentally prepared what I was going to tell them.
"I think Jack's still alive and that Sam found him."
At their statement, I decided it was probably better to explain myself.
"Remember the machlif?" Teal'c nodded slowly. "Didn't you feel like you knew him?"
Another nod.
"It was Jack. I'm sure it was. And I'm sure Sam went to get him back."
The planet where I took them was nice. Not too hot but not too cold, with lots of water and pollution-free air. The ideal planet. We made camp as far from the Stargate as we could, which was only half-wise. On one hand, it was harder for anyone to find us, but on the other hand, it was harder for *us* to escape if we'd ever have to.
I felt weird being here with him after all this time. I was still in shock and I felt like there was so many things to tell him, all the good things we said about him when we thought we'd lost him, all we did while he was gone, all the funny things that had happened or even the sadder ones. But I was a soldier first, and we had to build that camp as quickly as possible, so I had to wait almost a whole day before I could really speak to him.
"So," I said, sitting beside him and his young friend Palis, "you wanna tell me what happened?"
He looked at me for a long time, as if struggling with himself to decide if he should tell me or not.
"I thought General Hammond told you everything." He finally said, returning his gaze to the fire and offering a plate of food to Palis who took it eagerly.
"He told me the most basic things; why you left, why you had to pretend to be dead, and why you run."
"What do you want me to add? He covered everything."
"I guess I wanna know what you felt like, how you met your friend here, what you did for the last four years."
Palis looked up from his meal in mid-bite when he heard I was talking about him. I smiled when I saw Jack grin at the boy and pat his back.
"What about you? What's become of SG-1?" I sighed angrily at his change of subject but I guess the man hadn't changed that much. If he doesn't want to talk about something, you don't talk about it. He handed me my plate and looked at me waiting for my answer.
"I think you already know." I answered, biting into a piece of fruit.
"I wanna know how you felt." He said sarcastically, miming my earlier tone.
"I think you know that too." I answered seriously and his gaze met mine.
We dropped into an uncomfortable silence. Neither of us willing to be the one who breaks it. Finally it was Palis who decided to take things into his own hands and he spent hours telling his sad story in great details. From the moment he met Jack to the moment he met me. I could tell from the way he looked at Jack that he loved him very much. He admired him. There was nothing in the world that Jack could do wrong in that boy's eyes. When his story ended he fell asleep almost instantly. The events of the last hours finally taking their toll on him and we were left alone. Again. It never used to be this way.
"I couldn't let you die for me" he finally said, his eyes staring into the fire.
"Who said I was going to die?" I kept my gaze locked on him.
"That was not a chance I was willing to take" he finally lifted his eyes and looked at me.
"Don't you think I am old enough to make my own decisions? Do you have any idea how hard this has been? The ceremony was one of the worst three hours I ever spent in my life!" he gave me a small smile and took another sip from the cup he was holding.
"Three hours huh? That long? How was my funeral anyway? I never got to ask Hammond about that. Who was there?" he seemed to be amused by the whole situation.
"You would have hated every minute of it." I said with a small smile "everyone who is anyone was there. Even the president. For three hours they kept talking about what a great man you were, what an asset to the SGC. About your good nature and how you will be missed"
"And no lightning came down from the sky?" his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Well we were deep underground..." I gave him an evil smile. He lifted his hand to push aside a strand of my hair that came loose from under the cap.
"I really missed this" he said quietly his hand resting on my cheek "No one laughs at my jokes like you do. Palis doesn't even understand most of them."
"Don't you think you've had enough running?" I leaned into his touch, my hand rising to cover his.
"I want to go home..." he said and for a minute I thought he was going to kiss me. But then a sound from a distant animal broke the moment and he moved away.
"But...we both know that can't happen." He added and he had a sadness in his eyes I had never seen before, as if he was regretting something he never did. He gave me one last look and then he moved to the other side of the fire, next to Palis, and went to sleep.
I didn't know if I should have felt happy or angry with her. She had no right to come and risk her life like that. Of all people, SG-1 was the only group I didn't want to see here. These guys were the people I cared most for, but I didn't want anything to happen to any of them. But they're not stupid. I should have figured they'd discover what happened one of these days.
I turned on my back, placing my hand under my head, looking up at the rustic roof we had spent the day building. I could hear Carter and Palis breathe regularly, undoubtedly sleeping and I took a look at her sleeping form. In my heart, I was so happy she came for me. In my heart, I knew that of all people, she was the only one I wanted to see here. Ok so I admit that I was happy to see Daniel and Teal'c too, but for some reason, I felt like they didn't belong with me, when Sam did. Of course that was just my heart talking, and I knew that I really should be listening to my head instead of my heart, but at night, when nobody's watching, I could let myself think with my feelings couldn't I? I guess not.
I guess I better sleep.
As much as I wanted to, I haven't been able to sleep all night. I knew the Colonel wasn't sleeping either and it just made me more nervous. But then I came to a decision. And as soon as the morning came and I felt like it was reasonable to get up, I announced it to him.
"Colonel?" I said as I watched him cooking. It took a while before he realized I was talking to him but then he turned to look at me expectantly.
"Sayeedi." He said.
I frowned, confused.
"Call me Sayeedi. It's what everybody calls me around here."
"Oh! Right. Sorry...What does it mean?"
"It's a title."
"Oh...Ok."
"Anyway, what was it that you wanted to say?" He asked again.
"I think I should go back to Earth." I replied, waiting for his reaction. His head snapped up and he looked surprised, a bit hurt, maybe. I guess he was accustomed to my presence now.
"Sam...you can't." He said very seriously.
"Why not?"
"Because those maniacs back on Earth will find out where you were."
"They don't have to. With all due respect si...Yaseedi...whatever," he tried to hide his smile at my mistake, "you said yourself that you wanted to come home, well I think I can help!" I claimed.
"Where are you supposed to be?" He asked, suddenly looking beaten.
"What?" I had no idea what he was talking about.
"Your cover story. I guess Hammond hasn't killed you..."
"Oh...that! I was with the Tok'ra."
"Then you should go to them and bring one of them back with you. To make your story more plausible." He said, playing with a stick in the fire.
"Yeah you're right." I said, watching him carefully. If I didn't know him any better I'd say he was disappointed in me going away. "Then I guess I should probably get going." I announced as I got up and took my pack.
"Say bye to Palis for me! And tell him I'll be back for you. Both of you." I said as I began walking away, feeling Jack's eyes on my back as I went.
"Colonel, Jacob." Hammond greeted as we appeared through the wormhole. Dad went to shake Hammond's hand and they exchanged the usual "what's new" until Hammond turned to me and asked me to his office. I followed him in silence, knowing that what we had to say was highly classified. Walking through the corridors, I ran into Daniel and Eilan.
"Sam!" Daniel exclaimed as he saw me and a smile appeared on Eilan's lips.
"Hey guys." I said, trying to hide my excitement from them.
"How's your Dad?" Daniel added a bit mischievously and I wondered if he wouldn't happen to know where I truly was.
"Why don't you ask him yourself? He's in the gate room." I replied, mentally blessing Jack for suggesting really going to see the Tok'ra.
"Really?" Daniel asked, genuinely surprised.
"Well, yeah..." I answered, cut off by a cough from behind me. I turned to look at the general, waiting impatiently for me to follow him. I turned back at the guys.
"Now if you'll excuse me..." I said as I followed my CO in his office.
"Absolutely NOT!" I tapped my hand on the table as forcefully as I could without actually breaking it in the hope that it would pass on my feelings.
"But sir it will work!" I looked at a very flushed lieutenant colonel standing in front of me. We had been arguing for the past hour. She had not moved from her stand.
"I will not allow it Colonel. I will not let you risk your life..." I started to say angrily only to be cut off by her.
"To save his! He gave up his life to save min... our lives. I think we owe him this much at least!" She holds her ground very nicely when she wants too. When I looked at her I knew that this was a battle I could not win. I knew this was coming and I knew that when the time came and she discovered that he was alive there would be nothing I could do to stop her. But no one could say I didn't try. I also knew that if I had given her a direct order I would have lost another good officer. She would follow him. She would die for him. I was not sure she realized that herself but I could tell. I had been a silent observer for a long time and I knew these people. I sighed and lifted my hands in a show of defeat. She smiled at me knowing she had won the battle.
"You will come back alive and that's an order do you understand me COLONEL?"
She gave me one of those smiles that light up a room. One of the smiles she usually reserved for him.
"And I'll bring him back with me sir!" She said as she hurried to leave the room before I changed my mind.
"Colonel you're finally out!" I heard Eilan's voice echoing after me in the corridor.
"Yes it took a bit longer than I thought Major. What can I do for you?" I tried not to sound impatient but I was hungry. Very hungry actually, all I could think about was going to the mess hall and grabbing something to eat, getting some sleep and then getting him back home.
"Well I was hoping there was something I could do for you" he gave me his million dollars smile "want to grab something to eat?" At the sound of my stomach growling his smile widened and he took my hand.
"I'll take that as a yes, come on, I had them reserve a few good meals for us in the mess hall" we almost ran the rest of the way and I couldn't get there fast enough. When we finally sat down and after a few minutes of quiet eating, he raised his eyes from his plate and looked at me as if he wanted to ask me something but wasn't really sure how to do it.
"Got something on your mind Major?" I looked at him with anticipation. Eilan wasn't the type to beat around the bush. He really reminded me of Jack sometimes in his blunt way of saying things.
"I was wondering if you could tell me a bit more about Jack O'Neill" he said after a few more minutes of silence.
"Like what? " I tried desperately to avoid his gaze knowing he would see I was hiding something if he looked deep enough.
"Is he dead?" he asked point blank, almost knocking me off my chair from surprise.
"You were at the memorial yourself" I found the only answer I could give him without actually lying to him.
"That's not what I asked" he looked deep into my eyes and I prayed to God I was not giving anything away.
"That's the only answer I have to give you" I started clearing out my plate and make my way to get up from the table. He got up almost immediately, his hand reaching for mine, and he stopped me from moving. I thanked God the mess hall was empty except for us.
"You can't bring him back from the dead Sam." he said quietly "And even if he isn't dead he left for a reason. You shouldn't get involved in this" I pulled my hand out of his grasp and without a word I stormed out.
'ACCESS DENIED'.
Why? Why, why, wasn't that code working? It should have been working! I sighed in frustration when I realized the person I needed to help me was Sam. But I knew she wouldn't confirm or deny anything, so I better had to stop thinking and get working on that computer. I tried the code again.
'ACCESS DENIED'.
I took off my glasses and rubbed the bridge of my nose. This should work. After all the trouble I went into to get that code, it should work. Ok. Let's stay calm and think. What other password could General Hammond have used on his personal computer? His granddaughter's name maybe? I entered the first one that came to mind.
'ACCESS DENIED'.
Janet looked at me with frustration registered all over her face. "It's not going to work! And the general will be here in a second we have to get out of here!" she looked almost panicked. When I told her about my plan she almost had a fit but decided to join me nonetheless. I looked at her and tried to give her a reassuring smile and moved all my attention back to the computer I typed as fast as I could because I knew we probably didn't have all night to do this.
When I was done entering the name, I waited, and then I heard the buzzing sound of the computer coming to life again. The screen changed and this time it didn't tell me 'access denied'. I sighed in relief as I browsed the files, looking for something concerning Colonel Jack O'Neill. I just hoped this...operation... wasn't too classified to be in the computer.
A folder caught my attention.
'Op. SGC2.'
"Someone is coming!" Janet broke my concentration and pointed to the door.
"You've got to do something! I just got in! I can't leave now!" she looked at me with a weird look on her face. I could see the panic slowly turning to conviction and then a small devilish smile appeared on her face.
"I'll take care of it" and with that she moved to open the door.
I moved my attention back to the computer. I clicked on the icon and it opened, revealing many other files in the process. Ok...Let's see. What if I searched for a name? It would probably go faster this way. I entered Colonel Jack O'Neill and I got a few files to check under the name, but unfortunately, they were mostly his death act and his memorial stuff. I snorted when I thought of the ceremony, it was awful. Don't take me wrong, they said pretty nice things about him, but these high-ranked officers who gave the speeches didn't know him. Hell the President didn't even know him and he was the one to give the longest speech. I had always thought that *we*, the rest of SG-1, were the ones who should have spoken. *We* knew him, probably better than anyone else. *We* would have talked about real things, real feelings, not just some military bravado.
There were a lot of reports from Jack in the folders, reports from the first days of the second
SGC's building off world. Unfortunately for Jack, he never lived to be in command. Or that's what everybody else was thinking.
I checked all the files quickly, reading only what I thought might have been important. I found nothing until I open the last file: 'KIA'. I double clicked on the icon and it opened after a moment, showing a page with Jack's Air Force identification picture in the right corner and reports on how he died. I read it carefully, looking for something that didn't fit in, something that could have told me that the last four years were only a big fake. The first time around I didn't detect anything, but I decided to read it again, feeling like I was missing something.
"GENERAL HAMMOND, SIR!" Janet shouted from the other side of the door. Her voice almost breaking the glass door.
"Yes Doctor?" I heard the general's voice filled with a mix of surprise and annoyance. I was just sitting there when the thought snapped thought my mind: I HAVE TO HIDE! I got up from behind the desk, thank god I had the good sense to turn the monitor off and started my quest for a hiding place. I could hear Janet trying to stall Hammond on the other side of the door but she wasn't doing a very good job. Finally I decided that getting under the desk and praying that Hammond wasn't staying would be the best line of action. I crept under the chair and as Cassie says...started making carpet noises. In the hope that no one would notice me.
"Would you mind telling me what this is all about? " General Hammond was extremely annoyed by this point.
"I have my orders sir. A complete physical. That's what the orders say. Complete. All the tests all the doohickeys. All of them" I could see Janet's eyes scanning the room trying to find me but thankfully she didn't show it.
"Doohickeys? Is that a medical term doctor?" The general was now inches away from my leg and I was praying to every god I knew that something would happen and he would go away.
"I'm sorry sir but I have my orders! I can call the..."
"No that's ok Doctor. A complete physical. As you wish." He moved away from the desk and over to the door.
"Just one thing" he added " Just don't ask me to drop my pants" I could hear Janet chuckle nervously as she followed him and closed the door behind her.
With a sigh of relief I moved from under the table and turned on the monitor.
I reread the report of Jack's death. Nothing. Everything seemed plausible, everything was written in details and I couldn't detect anything wrong. I sat back fully in the back of the chair, sighing loudly. What else could I look for? I closed the Op. SGC2 folder and browsed the others. I opened the Sp.Op. folder. I guessed it meant Special Operations, so I tried it. Most of the stuff was some emails, but I went through them anyway. The first I opened was dated 'March 6th 2001', and I realized it was only a few weeks after Jack's death. What was written made me wonder even more.
'P9X 899'.
That's all! There was nothing more. No signature, no address, I guess the General copied only the date and the message. I opened another one, and it astonished me even more.
Date 'March 24th 2001', message 'P3Q 644'. I opened all the messages and they all had the same concept, a date and a planet number. The second last email I opened was dated from 8 weeks ago and the address reminded me something...Then it hit me: the market planet. I eagerly open the last one and it was written 'P5X 957' dated from three days ago.
It had to be it!
I packed my things furiously. Why on Earth would Eilan ask me those things? He must have known something was going on, he rarely asked me questions about Jack. But how could he have suspected *that*, unless he was part of the conspiracy against him? I really tried not to think about that alternative. He couldn't be one of those maniacs Jack talked about could he? I had always thought he was a nice and loyal officer, but what if I had been completely wrong about him? What if my... "attraction" to him was what had turned me so blind? And what if he had told me not to get involved because he knew that whoever gets involved disappears? Maybe that was a warning, a warning that couldn't change my mind anyway.
I was distracted when someone knocked on my door.
"Come in." I called without looking up.
"You ready to go?"
"Almost." I said, putting the last of my stuff in my pack.
"You've always over packed, ever since you were a kid."
I looked into the smiling eyes of my father and I smiled in return, enjoying the little time I got with him.
"I know," I replied, "that's your fault, you're the one I always observed while you were packing."
He smiled a little, but then became serious again, putting his hands on my shoulders to get all my attention.
"Are you sure you're doin' the right thing kid?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life, Dad."
Of course when I first arrived on the Tok'ra planet, they were all pretty surprised to see me. They greeted me kindly but then I had to explain why I was there and my Dad didn't believe a bit I told. I guess Selmak *is* wise after all. And then he told me in a hushed voice that he knew why I was there and he told me about the time he ran into Jack and Palis on a desert planet. Or rather the opposite. The Tok'ra were preparing themselves to build the first tunnels underground when Jack came through and neither of them were fast enough to hide, so that's when Jack told him everything and made them promise to secrecy. He even lived with them for a while, and they helped him get stuff to sell in the market. When he told me that, I was angry with my Dad for lying to me all those years and not telling me the truth, but when I saw how Jack was living I understood. I understood his behavior, and the Tok'ra's. I guess it wasn't easy and I knew I was risking my life trying to save his, especially after what Eilan had told me earlier, but I also knew that it was worth it. SG-1 was worth it.
"Alright..." he said, and he looked kind of disappointed in me.
"Dad, you know it's the right thing to do right?" I asked, wanting his support more than anything else right now.
He smiled a bit falsely and patted my shoulder, turning away and walking to the door.
"I'll be waiting in the gate room." He said as he walked away.
Dad had decided to accompany me on P5X 957 and I was glad he had, even if I knew that it was only because he was worried something might happen to me. And I think he wanted to be sure that I was doing the right thing, and I so wanted to prove him that I was that I decided to let him come with. I wouldn't have a lot of privacy with Jack, but at least I'd see him again. I felt my heart beat more rapidly at the thought and I smiled when the last chevron locked and the gate whooshed open. I saluted the General and Eilan and waved at Daniel.
The archeologist really looked like someone who needed to sleep. He looked like hell, I thought he really should stop working so late on those artifacts. Yeah, I know, look who's talking... I made my way on the ramp and walked through the gate, knowing that my Dad was a few feet behind me. The coldness of the wormhole has always surprised me, but then the sensation is so overwhelming you come to forget the cold and the next thing you know you're on another planet.
What greeted me on P5X 957 froze me.
Fire. Destruction. Rain.
I slowly walked away from the gate, observing in shock my surroundings. I heard my Dad coming out of the wormhole and stopping when he saw what I had seen.
"Goa'uld." Selmak said and I only nodded. What else could I say when I had already recognized the death glider blasts on the ground and the staff weapon blasts on the trees? Without realizing it, my legs started running towards the shelter that we had spent the day before yesterday building. If they were dead I would have never forgiven myself. They couldn't be dead. Jack is smart, I was sure he'd been able to take Palis and himself to a secure place. I ran faster as the knot in my throat became bigger and my vision started to blur with tears. I heard Selmak screaming something behind me, but the sound of my heart was too loud and I couldn't hear anything, so I ran. I ran through the debris left by the Goa'uld, leaving behind them only death and destruction.
He can not be dead. He can not be dead.
Funny how such a small line can keep one's sanity, it kept mine when I got there and when I saw what was left from our little shelter my stomach rolled. There was blood everywhere and a few Jaffa lied dead on the floor.
He can not be dead. He can not be dead.
I was almost losing it when I heard Palis's voice.
"Colonel Sam! Am I glad to see you! Come! Hurry! Sayeedi is hurt!" Hurt was good. Hurt was not dead. Hurt was hurt. But it was not dead. I let the small boy drag me through the thick forest until we reached a small cave at the side of the mountain. And there he was, sitting on the floor his shirt soaked with blood, his eyes closed. Hurt was not good after all...
"Oh my god! Colonel!? Colonel are you ok?" I rushed to his side, the sight of the blood on his shirt making me fear the worst. He slowly opened his eyes and stared into mine.
"Don't worry it's not mine" he motioned to the blood "Just a little reminder from our Jaffa friends over there." He cringed in pain as he tried to sit straighter.
"What's wrong?" I asked with concern when I saw his face twitching with pain.
"I think I broke my leg." he looked up at me with a little amusement in his eyes. "You're not gonna try and set it are you?" and then he gave me one of his world famous grins.
"It will serve you right if I did" I answered playfully "But it won't be necessary Dad is here with Selmak. They can fix this using the healing device" and right on queue Dad walked in looking a little out of breath, I guess even as a Tok'ra the age gets to you.
"Getting yourself into trouble again colonel? I thought you swore off that" Selmak looked down at Jack as the healing device started its healing.
"I did. I just don't think anyone told them about it"
Ten minutes after that and Jack's leg was almost as good as new.
"I think it healed up rather nicely considering it's the third time you've broken it. It will be stiff for a while but that will pass" Said Selmak with a grin. He lowered his head and then Jacob was in control again "This has taken a lot out of Selmak he needs a rest. I think we should get going now" I helped Jack to his feet and put my arms around him for support. Dad just stared at us for a minute with a stupid smile on his face.
"What?!" Jack and I both said at the same time.
"Oh nothing" he shrugged and turned to help Palis gather his stuff.
We were just starting to make our way out of the cave when I heard Palis say to Dad
"I think I know why Sayeedi doesn't mind breaking his leg all the time"
"I think I see what you mean boy" Dad responded with amusement in his voice.
"So Carter..." I asked as we slowly made our way to the gate, leaning on her more because I felt like it than because I needed to. "What's your big plan?"
She looked back at me, startled.
"Well...it's quite simple, actually."
"Really...What would that be?"
"I find out who wants to kill you back on Earth, we arrest him, them, whatever, and we bring you back!"
"That's...*that's* your plan?" I asked incredulously. "Don't you think it's a bit...I dunno... simple? I would have expected something a little more...complicated, considering it's coming from you." I said sarcastically.
"I did warn you sir." She replied, watching carefully where she stepped. I stopped walking to make her look at me.
"Carter...I don't think you realize what's really going on around here!"
She held my stare for a moment before her gaze met the ground again. Since she didn't reply I took the opportunity to explain myself.
"First, there's the Goa'uld, wanting my butt for stealing stuff from them. I think I pissed them off a little. And then on Earth... I don't think you realize how far up this goes! Remember that time I avoided a car accident, just before I went?"
I saw her nodding so I went on. "And then how there was a fire in my house? That was them. They've wanted me ever since we started to plan the second SGC project."
"But why? This project could have been our only hope to survive in case of a Goa'uld attack!"
"Yeah, I know all this...And I also know that...if you really want to help me, you should go back to Earth..." She started protesting but I cut her off. I knew I could use her help after all.
"Just let me finish. Go back to Earth and keep your eyes open as well as your ears. Maybe even talk to Hammond, I know he's supposed to do some research of his own, so maybe he came up with something."
She nodded and then looked in front of us, at Jacob and Palis walking before us, as if watching their backs could make her make up her mind.
"Alright." She finally said. "But you have to promise me one thing." She said, looking back directly into my eyes.
"What's that?"
"Promise me you'll never die. Once is enough and I really don't want to feel that way again, understood?" If I didn't know her better I'd have said she was angry with me.
"Sam...You know as well as I do I can't promise that." I said with a small smile. "But I'll tell you what. I'll go to an Asgard protected planet and try to make contact with them. If it works, I'll go live with them for awhile, would that be ok for you ma'am?"
A slow and uncertain smile appeared on her lips but it was a smile nonetheless so I grinned back.
"Thank you Sayeedi." She said as her smile got brighter. Without thinking I pulled her shoulders towards me and crushed her body against mine in a fierce hug. I held her tight and she returned the gesture, threading one of her hands into my hair.
"Now you take care, ok?" I said into her neck and I felt her nod. I pulled us apart and looked deeply into her eyes, hoping I would see determination to survive in them. And I did. That's all I needed.
'Yeah there were times when I was lonely
And I lay here like a ghost upon my bed
I never thought about my friends
I never called up anyone
I was happy hiding out inside my head
But then you came along and loved me all up
First you calmed me down and then took my hand
And as we lay under the sky and watched the planes go by
I knew I'd never be the same again
Slow down I want to go with you
Can't wait here awhile
And I'll watch you smile
And we'll hide away and let the world go by
No more reason why we sit and count the tears we cry
Always getting better
Always getting better
Leave the lonely days
Close your eyes let them drift away
Always getting better
Always getting better
I have thought about your leaving for a long time now
And I guess that in the end I'll be alright
But the blackness of your hair
The way your smile hits me everywhere
These are the things that come to me at night'
I turned the radio off. Don't get me wrong, I love that song, but at that moment it had a little too much meaning for my taste. It made me think of the last time I saw him before he "died". He had come into my lab, apparently for no reason whatsoever and he just sat there, watching me play with one of my toys. I knew he wanted to say something. I knew he wanted to tell me that, no matter what would happen, I shouldn't let the events turn me upside down. But he didn't say anything so there was nothing I could do but to believe he was dead. Just like everybody else thought he was. How could I have guessed that this was nothing more than a big plan, trying to hide the man from homicidal paranoiacs? I could never have guessed. And when he finally left my lab, he turned to me one last time, opened his mouth to say something but closed it and smiled.
And then he left.
I told him casually, without looking away from my kiron samples "G'night sir! See ya tomorrow..."
But I didn't know that there would be no tomorrow, for him anyway. He went on that mission and never came back. I really had to find a way to bring him back. But the truth is I had no idea on how to do it.
When I came back from P5X 957, after a while with the Tok'ra, I had tried to observe the SGC personnel as closely as I could but then I realized that the traitors could be anyone. From a SF to the President himself. And Jack did say that it came from high up. But there had to be some people within the SGC itself because whoever wanted his death needed people to do the dirty job. What we didn't know was if these bad guys had found out or not that Jack was alive. I so hoped that they hadn't, but we always have to be cautious. Even if I had no idea on how I could find out who they were.
As I drove back to the base after a rather disturbed night, I spotted a ski clothing ad on a big sign.
"If you don't go to the mountain, let the mountain find you."
I almost stopped the car in the middle of the highway as an idea came in a flash. What if I let the traitors find me themselves? Like the Colonel did when he "stole" a weapon-disarming device from the Tollan? That was a dangerous plan, but I guessed that was the best.
I took my exit and a few minutes later I was back in the parking lot. I walked in and went down the numerous elevators down to sublevel 28.
I had to find Eilan.
I ran into Daniel as I made my way down the corridors.
"Sam! I was looking for you, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, eyeing me up and down suspiciously.
"Can it wait fifteen minutes? I'm on my way to..." he cut me off, shaking his head.
"No...it's rather urgent." He said so I followed him in his lab.
"What's up Daniel?"
"Sam...stop acting like nothing's going on ok?"
I felt my heart skipping a beat and I really hoped nothing showed on my face. I frowned, feigning not to know what he was talking about.
"What do you mean?"
He sighed shaking his head and, getting a folded piece of paper from his pocket, he handed it to me, replacing the paper by his hands in his pockets. I unfolded it and looked back at him, startled.
"What the hell is that?"
"You don't know?" he asked bitterly, and, by his tone, I knew that he knew I did.
Daniel stared at me with that fatherly look he gets sometimes when he knows I'm over worked. That look that shows how angry he is but also how much he cares. He was waiting for an answer.
At first I ran through some explanations in my mind, stories I could tell him, anything but the truth. But then I realized that the truth was the only way, and I told him that what he suspected was true.
"That bastard!"
"Daniel keep it down! We don't want to tell the whole world!" I looked around angrily watching for signs of anyone that might have heard us.
"I can not believe he didn't tell us!" he said in an angry whisper.
"I know, I was upset at first too" he looked at me funny "OK I was ready to tear his head off, but I got over it and so will you. He needs our help" I saw the anger slowly disappear from Daniel's eyes.
"What can I do?" he asked softly.
"Come on I'll fill you in. And I think we better get Teal'c in to the scam we might need him too" I said with a small smile.
"We better tell him anyway. I'd hate to see how he would react if he knew we were leaving him out of things....And I informed Janet of my suspicions too." Daniel looked at me with a smile when I turned around angrily. "She knew I was up to something. You know we can trust her Sam."
She nodded, knowing I was speaking the truth.
"Where can we talk?" I asked.
"The lab on the 17th floor is completely sound proof. And we can turn on an E.M. pulse to make sure we're not being bugged"
"Lets go then".
"Shouldn't we call Eilan too?" Daniel looked at me wondering as we closed the massive laboratory door behind us.
"No. We can't trust anyone. Not even Eilan. " I sealed the door behind us and turned on the
E.M pulse. "The only people who know anything about this are Hammond, us and the people who want to kill Jack. If we're going to find them out we need to keep this low key."
"Okay now you mind telling us what's this all about? Why did Jack have to pretend he was dead? And for this long? Why didn't he let us in on the deal? And where is he now?" If Teal'c hadn't suddenly raised his hand and placed it over Daniel's mouth I don't know how long that flood of questions would have continued.
"I believe it is best to let Colonel Carter explain things Daniel Jackson" he said calmly and motioned for me to start my story.
I sighed and sat down on a nearby chair.
"I guess it all started when Jack went on that undercover mission to stop the stealing from the Asgard, Nox and Tollans. You remember what Makepeace said when they arrested him?"
"The fact that this goes further up? Much higher then anyone knows? And that he'd pissed off the wrong people?" Daniel was now a bit more relaxed sitting on the chair in front of me.
"Yes. And he was right. This goes up to where the air is very thin. A few months after that, when the Pentagon agreed to build a second SGC off world, it all started to happen. Weird accidents both on the base and at his home. "
"The fire" Daniel was finally putting all the small bits of information he had to see the final picture.
"Yes and a few weird accidents on the base, all of them almost killed him. When they saw that he wasn't an easy man to kill they decided to take a different approach, they threatened anonymously to kill us if he did not retire. From what I understand from Hammond they came really close to killing Cassie. And all of us were in danger. So Jack decided to die. "
"But why?" Daniel asked, realizing like I had a few days ago that the colonel hadn't done it for his own good.
I shrug. "I guess those mole people didn't want him to command, maybe they wanted the second SGC for themselves."
"But why did he not see fit to conclude us in that decision?" Teal'c looked at me with what I could only read as hurt in his eyes.
"I don't know. I guess he knew we would try to talk him out of it. And you know we would have never let him do this on his own. "
"So now we know what happened. The question now is what are we going to do?" Daniel looked at me with a piercing look.
"Now we're going to get him home" I said softly.
It felt so good to finally be able to tell someone. Especially if that someone was Daniel and Teal'c. I really felt awful lying to them all the time. I was kinda glad Daniel found it out on his own. I walked down the corridor slowly, a bit distractedly when I over heard a conversation behind Eilan's office door that stopped me dead in my tracks.
"David...I'm telling you, that's the past. He died. Everybody knows it." Said a male voice.
"Except for her, apparently." Eilan replies bitterly.
"Ah come on...you can't kill something like that overnight."
"It's been four years! Man why did I let myself get involved like that? And if Sam finds out she'll never forgive me" he exclaimed to no one in particular.
"Eilan...you're overreacting. Big time."
"No...no I'm not! If he's still alive I'm a dead man."
"No you're not...you'll just...have a hard time, that's all. But if I were you, I wouldn't sweat about it. You got nothing to worry about. The man is dead. That was taken care of a long time ago."
"Yeah...you're probably right..." Eilan finally admitted and when I spotted a SF coming my way in the corridor I had no choice but to stop listening and resume my way down.
Oh my God. I couldn't believe what I had heard. I had had my suspicions on Eilan but now...Now he'd just seemed to have confirmed them. And I knew who I had to talk to. Hammond.
As I made my way rapidly to his office, the klaxons went on and I had to change my plans.
"Colonel Carter to the embarkation room, Colonel Carter to the embarkation room." It said. I ran down the stairs and stopped running only when I was in the gate room, waiting for the computers to recognize the GDO code. But there wasn't any.
The iris opened on its own while Simmons kept trying to close it. Hammond and Eilan arrived, running, right at the moment when a small figure came through.
Palis.
He looked around in wonder, his eyes wide open while his little mind was taking everything in. I was hoping he wouldn't give me away by making any gestures that could make me appear like I knew him, but God bless Colonel Jack O'Neill - he didn't wave or anything. Eilan was the one to make the first move, recognizing the boy.
"Hey that's the little swapper! From the market!" He said and we all made our way down to the embarkation room. Daniel and Teal'c came running at that moment and they both stopped when they saw Jack's little friend.
"When you did not return with the payment we decided to act." The boy said, very convincingly.
Hammond looked around at us and I shrugged.
"We were under Goa'uld fire sir. We didn't even know if it was safe to go back."
Hammond turned back to look at Palis.
"In that case son, I would be happy to pay all that we owe you. If you will follow me please." He said and we all made our way to the infirmary first, and then, after a clean bill of health from Janet, we went to the general's office. I would have preferred not to see Eilan there but maybe it was our shot to know if he really was part of the gang.
When we were all seated or standing in the general's office, we waited for Palis to say something, but he was so thrilled at the new decor he just sat there, swinging his legs and looking around. General Hammond finally broke the ice.
"So how did you manage to open the iris son?" he asked in a fatherly way. Palis looked around at us, and finally back at Hammond, obviously struggling with what to say. He finally seemed to overcome the nervousness and turned to look at me directly in the eye.
"The machlif said to speak only with the female speaker of the team that came through." He finally said.
All heads turned to look at me in surprise and I played along, shrugging and getting closer to the boy, crouching down to be at his height.
"Why?" I asked, hoping Jack had anticipated this interrogation from us.
"Because he sensed that you would not try to fool me."
I looked back at Hammond, standing up again and joining my hands behind my back.
"I don't think I'd risk anything sir. He doesn't seem very dangerous."
Hammond sighed and silently nodded. "Ok, people, let's clear the room." He added as he got up, gathering his reports and walking out, the rest of my team on his heels. I winked at Palis and he didn't even smile, and I had to admit that he was a good liar.
Only when everybody had cleared the room did he turn to me and smiled. I went to sit in front of him, on the general's desk. And I waited for him to talk.
"I am here to give you a message from Sayeedi."
I nodded him to go on with a smile and he got up, looking around the room, touching the big eagle and the American flag at the back of the office.
"What's the message Palis?" I asked, beginning to get impatient.
"He said that you should go to your apartment as soon as possible." He said, taking the flag out of its support and putting it on his head as he would a turban. I had to stifle a laugh as he looked at his reflection on the destination map.
"Why? Why go to my apartment?"
"He did not say." He replied, putting back the flag on its support and looking back at me. I frowned as I thought of a reason why he would send Palis here to tell me this.
"Speaking of which...How did you open the iris Palis?"
He smiled cheekily and sat back down on his chair, resuming the swinging of his legs.
"Thor opened it."
"Thor? You made it to the Asgard home world?" I asked, impressed.
He nodded enthusiastically and I couldn't help but smile this time.
"And I guess you want the gold anyway, don't you?"
He nodded even more and I got down the desk to kneel before him.
"Okay... I'll tell you what. I think you'll have to stay here for awhile while I talk with General Hammond, did Sayeedi tell you when to go back?"
He shook his head and I put a hand on his shoulder.
"Alright, so if Hammond agrees, would you like to come to my apartment with me? See what's there? You could see what our planet is like on the outside. What do you think?"
"I am sure Sayeedi would think I am safe with you Colonel Sam." He said with a smile.
"Alright." I said as I got up. I'll go get Hammond, I'll be right back." I added as I made my way out. I didn't have a long walk since everybody was waiting for me in the briefing room. Eilan was the first one to talk.
"So?" he asked, leaning on a chair.
"Well he wants his money." I said, shrugging. "General?" I asked, turning to look at him, "He wants to talk to you."
He followed me back in his office and Palis and I explained him everything, but he said he couldn't let Palis come with me, that it could be more dangerous for him if he went than if he stayed here, with Fraiser and Daniel to watch him.
The boy merely shrugged when we made the decision, and Hammond told me to get to my apartment right then, so I obeyed his order, storming out of the room without a word to the rest of my team.
I jumped out of my shoes when I saw someone sitting quietly on my couch, reading one of my physics journals.
"Colonel?" I almost shouted, too surprised to say anything else. "How did you...?" I asked after a while of standing there, watching him smile smugly.
He pointed his finger to the ceiling and I nodded, assuming that Thor's beaming technology probably made the trick. He got up and came to stand in front of me, apparently waiting for me to say something.
"So why are you here?" I asked, logic finally kicking in.
"I came to help you." He said seriously.
"How?" I asked, gulping at the piercing look he gave me, my eyes losing themselves in his.
"I made lots of enemies in my travels, but also lots of friends Sam." He answered, his gaze still locked with mine.
"And...?" I was kind of surprised to realize my brain was still working while looking at him this way, my breath coming shorter and shorter. And from what I could tell, he was feeling the same. So out of nowhere my reason came screaming that I should break the spell, and I did, tearing my gaze from his and taking my coat off, dropping it absently on the couch as I made my way to the kitchen, the colonel on my heels seconds later.
"And I think I know who's doing this." He finished, leaning on the doorframe, his arms crossed on his chest. It's only then that I realized he'd kept his watch, impossible to see when he wore the machlif robe. I wouldn't have thought he would have permitted himself to keep something so...earth...on him.
I took a glass of orange juice out of the fridge and he refused when I offered him one, so I made my way back to the living room, dropping myself on the couch.
"Who do you have in mind? Maybourne? Even after all this time?" I asked as he sat on the armchair in front of me. He shook his head and looked at his hands on his lap.
"No I don't think so. I think it goes even higher than that. If he's part of the plan, he's just an executor."
"Yeah...Besides I already have my eyes on someone."
His head snapped up and he looked surprised.
"Who?"
"Major David Eilan. My second in command." I admitted.
Him bursting in laughter was certainly not something I was expecting.
"What? What's so funny?" I asked, a bit angry.
"Major Eilan? Are we talking about the same Eilan? Tall, sarcastic, your second in command?" he said, laughter still present in his voice. I nodded slowly and he smiled, leaning his elbows on his knees.
"Sam...The man's been my informer for 2 years now. He's one of the most loyal officers I've known in my career. What made you think he'd want to kill me?"
"Well...I overheard this conversation the other day...and I thought..."
"Well...I guess for the first time in your life you've thought wrong Carter." He said with a smile, and I sighed, relieved.
"But it still doesn't make sense. The conversation I heard. It sounded like he was scared of the fact that you might be alive" I persisted. Jack moved closer and sat next to me, so close I could smell the scent of his soap.
"Eilan has some suspicions about someone from the SGC. We are pretty sure there are at least two traitors in the SGC lines. He was trying to smoke them out. That's why he told you to stay away in the first place. He didn't want to see you get hurt or blow his cover" Jack looked at me with such intensity every time he mentioned Eilan's name as if he was looking for some sort of sign on my face.
"So what is your plan?" I tore my gaze from him forcing myself to stare at some blank spot of light on the wall.
"It's pretty easy just like you said" he leaned backwards on the couch and lifted his legs and rested them on the edge of the coffee table.
"Well?" I was getting pretty anxious by now. What was this man planning?
"The Machlif is going to be visiting the SGC." he said that so calmly that at first it didn't really register.
"You're gonna do what?! That's insane! They will kill you on sight!"
"Hear me out will ya? Where was I? Oh yes. The Machlif will be coming to the SGC to collect his money. He will have on him a piece of very rare and very powerful Asgard technology, provided by our very own little gray man. He will also demand a very unique way of payment, something Hammond will not agree to."
"But they will...." I completed his line of thought and gave him a small smile verifying I understood his line of thought. "That's a pretty good idea Colonel"
"Not mine. Actually Thor came up with it. He thinks that it's about time I got to go home."
"But what if someone recognizes you? It could ruin everything!" he pulled out a small gray device that looked a bit like a bracelet. The second he put it on a soft light lit the room and instead of the familiar face of the colonel I saw a new face. One I had never seen before. It was a hard face of a man who was scarred by life and war. He had a large scar running from the right side of his forehead down to the lower cheek. His dark hair was dirty and tousled. The only familiar thing about him were his eyes. Those deep brown eyes a woman can disappear into. Those were Jack's eyes. And I would know them anywhere no matter what face they were on. He pulled the bracelet off his hand and the face I knew even better then my own reappeared. He gave me a small grin and pointed his hand up to the ceiling.
"You gotta love those guys!"
"Incoming traveler!" the metallic voice of the technician echoed through the gate room and I was standing near the General getting ready to receive the Machlif. Palis was standing next to me overly excited to see his friend. The gate opened with its usual stunning display and a tall figure emerged from the event horizon. I was expecting to see Jack. Well not Jack but Jack as the Machlif but that was not what I saw. The man was dressed just like Jack was but his face was visible. He had a hard face. I remembered what Sam told me about the Asgard cloaking device but I never imagined it could be that good.
"Welcome to Earth Machlif" Hammond extended his hand for normal handshake. The Machlif declined the offer and merely bowed his head slightly as a gesture of welcome.
"I have come to collect my payment for the items your people have stolen" the voice was just as deep as the first time we had heard it. The accent concealing any trace of familiarity that might have been there.
"Of course. If you will follow me please" and with that they both headed into Hammond's office Palis never leaving the Machlif's side.
Two hours later the Machlif stepped out of Hammond's office followed by Palis who was carrying a bag filled with something.
Sam and myself were standing in the gate room just like we had planned.
"I do have another piece of technology your people might be interested in General. But it will cost you plenty." he pulled out a small white ball that seemed to float over his palm. "This is an Asgard teleportation and deface system. It can do many wonders" he was careful with the device making sure all the personnel standing in the room got a glimpse of the small wonder in his hand. "Are your people interested in purchasing it?"
"By all means. Name your price" Hammond looked almost mesmerized at the sight of the small ball. And then in a well-orchestrated move, a bit too dramatic for my taste, he moved around and pointed in our direction.
"That is what I wish to have as a payment. The woman. She is strong, and beautiful. She will fetch a very good sum in the Horandos Bazaar."
I was so surprised I'm sure everyone could see it on my face. I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it, and then frowned at Jack, who I'm sure was smiling under his mask. Everyone turned to look at me and the General gasped.
When Jack told me that he would ask a very unique way of payment I never suspected that it would be me. I looked at Hammond and he still looked in shock, and I wondered for a moment if he knew about that request or not. If he did, he was a damn good actor.
"That is unacceptable mister." He finally said and I shifted my weight to my other foot, uncomfortable. I had to play along, but I have to admit that the thought of Jack kidnapping me this way was making me nervous, and maybe a bit hopeful. From the corner of my eyes I could see Eilan observing me, observing my actions and reactions, and I was certain that there were other people doing the same thing at that moment. People I really didn't want to find out who the Machlif really was. I guess Jack made a good move not telling me I would be the payment, this way I was sure not to ruin anything. I'm a lousy actor.
The Machlif smiled smugly and put the device back into his robe.
"I thought you might say that. In that case, I will depart. Palis! Bring the payment for the rest, we are leaving." He ordered and started to move back towards the Stargate while Palis came running with his bag.
"Wait!" Daniel exclaimed beside me. Jack stopped and stared back at the archeologist. "Maybe there are other things we could offer you...Maybe you could stay longer, allow us some time to find something of value." He then turned to the General. "What do you say sir?"
The general nodded eagerly at the proposition.
"Damn right! Why not stay here with us tonight? We have comfortable quarters and food. If you wish to stay." He said politely.
The Machlif seemed to think about it for a long moment, and I shifted my weight again, wishing he would stay with us, even if I knew that, according to the plan, he had to. After a minute he nodded slowly, and came back towards us.
"You mentioned food...didn't you?" He asked and I smiled, knowing that this comment could only have come from Jack. I just hoped nobody else got that.
Our little plan seemed to work perfectly so far. I got dragged to the VIP quarters and I was kinda glad to sleep in a real bed, after all this wandering around. I only hoped that the bad guys were smart enough to come and get me, get the Machlif, that is. If they didn't come I didn't know what I would do, this was our best shot. They brought me some food and I ate eagerly and, even if the commissary food wasn't the best, it would do for an empty stomach. I also insisted that Palis be with me in my room and the general obliged, somehow sensing I needed the boy. Either that or Sam told him how much I cared about him. He fell asleep in a second and I had to smile at his position on the bed, lying across, encircling both pillows with his arms and even drooling on them a little. I placed the blankets over his body in a fatherly fashion and got up to visit the room.
The last time I was there I was hugging an alternate Sam Carter and the place hadn't changed a bit. The same frames on the walls, the same duvet on the bed, the same deck of cards I played with when Daniel lost it. This was hard, coming back home while I knew that there was a chance I might not be able to stay, if our plan didn't work. Well I guess I'd have to kidnap Carter. She was so surprised when I said the machlif wanted her as a payment. Everybody else was. I had to be sure that no one would give me away so I had to surprise them. I saw Eilan becoming tense and Carter uncomfortable while Hammond looked completely freaked out. Their faces were priceless, and I had to stifle a smile.
I was disturbed in my explorations then by a hard knock on my door. I walked to the door and opened it slowly, playing my role of the Machlif once again. Outside the door stood Major Eilan and another strong looking officer I had never seen before in the SGC. I subtly wandered my eyes down to see the name on his jacket and then he spoke. Just the man I was waiting for.
"We would like to talk to you mister." He said, the name on his sign being Captain Dean.
"Yes...please come in!" I said as I let them in. I closed the door behind them and they just stood stupidly in the center of the room, looking disturbed by the sleeping form of Palis on the bed.
"He will not awaken. You can talk now." I said as I sat down on a chair. They imitated me and I had to admit that Eilan was good. He was acting as nervously and suspiciously as Dean by his side. The Captain leaned in closer to me and began talking in a hushed voice.
"We'd like to see the technology you offered earlier. I think we could manage to find something valuable enough." He said.
"What is it that you have to offer mister...?"
"Dean. Kevin Dean."
I nodded and he went on, leaning in even closer.
"You want the blond woman right? Lieutenant Colonel Carter right?"
I nodded but I cursed the man mentally for even considering kidnapping Carter and selling her to a stranger. He had no right to think that!
"I think we can manage to bring her to you."
"We?" I asked suspiciously, glancing rapidly at Eilan who just sat there, listening to our conversation without budging.
"Yeah...'we'." He replied.
"The two of you?" I tried again. Dean leaned back into his chair and seemed to relax, putting his arm around the back of the chair beside him.
"Well yeah...me, Eilan and Natarelli."
I thanked God mentally for letting the man be so dumb to tell me everything so easily. I heard Eilan take a deep breath and I turned to look at him.
"Will you use the technology for yourselves?" I asked, trying to find out as much as possible.
"What are you kidding? Of course not. My order is to get it, not use it." Dean answered.
"And you will follow that order?" I asked incredulously.
"Well, yeah! Senator Norton is not a man you play around wi..." He stopped when he realized he just gave the name of the bastard who spent the last four years chasing me. He gave a startled glance at Eilan whose imperceptible statement didn't change a bit. "Damn I wasn't supposed to say that. Eilan, keep your mouth shut will ya?" Dean added hastily.
"Don't worry about it Dean." Eilan replied vaguely and I turned to look at him.
"This makes you nervous young man?" I asked him, reminding myself of my grandfather.
He nodded slowly and I smiled, patting his hand.
"So we have a deal?" Asked Dean, looking very pleased with himself.
"Yes mister Dean. We do. I want the woman on Horandos by tomorrow afternoon. And only then will you have the technology."
I shook hands with the man, disgusted by his treason, but not having a choice but to play along. I opened the door and let them walk through and, as he passed by me, Eilan winked.
I closed the door and sighed with relief.
He got it. He got it all on tape.
The second they left I locked the door and activated the small communication device Thor gave me. A second later I was standing in front of him with the biggest grin I ever had.
"Greetings O'Neill!" He looked genuinely happy to see me again.
"Hiya Thor." My smile now threatening to tear apart my face.
"I presume our plan has worked and the evil one has showed his face?"
"You got it. Can you beam Carter and Hammond up also? They both need to hear this..." before I could even finish the sentence a white light filled the room and Carter and Hammond stood before me. They were both fully dressed in uniform (the thought of not telling Carter that we were going to do this did cross my mind but the hell she would have put me afterwards made me think again).
"You got it?" She looked at me with hope.
"Sure you betcha!!" I gave her a smile and the next thing I knew I was being crushed by her in a tight hug.
"You can come home now Jack." she whispered in my ear and at that moment I wanted to tell her everything. Tell her how much I had missed her, tell her how much I thought about her during the past four years, constantly wondering in whose arms she'd been laying in. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her but a soft cough broke the moment. She moved away from me and for a moment I saw a strange look pass over her face but a second later it was gone and she was all military again, leaving me to wonder if the look was ever there.
"Mind explaining Colonel?" Hammond looked out of the window a bit startled from the beaming up experience and obviously wanting to get back to solid ground as soon as he could.
"Eilan got it all on tape. Senator Norton is at the heart of it. Something tells me he was the one in charge of all the illegal NID operations we know about. His inside guys are Natarelli and Dean. I will leave them in to your hands General."
"They are going to wish they never messed around with SG-1 Jack. Welcome home son," he smiled at me and then turned to Thor, "Can your beam us down? We have some unfinished business I would prefer to finish as soon as I talk to the president." and with that he was gone.
"If you will excuse me I have matters that need my attention. You can use the teleportation device we issued you to beam down. Goodbye O'Neill and welcome home." Thor bowed his head and disappeared.
We just stood there for a while, quietly looking down at Earth.
"So I'm coming home" I said quietly hoping not to break the moment.
"You're coming home." She agreed still staring at the earth.
"I wonder what happened to my stuff..."
"Its all there, still in your house." she said calmly.
"Really? I thought they would have sold it all." I really was surprised, the last thing I expected was my house and stuff still intact when I got home.
"What were you thinking leaving it all to us?" She looked at me her eyes shining.
"SG-1 is my family. The only family I have left." I said quietly, my eyes on my shoes.
"We missed you. I missed you." She said softly laying one hand on my shoulder.
"I thought you would love your own command Colonel!" I said with a grin.
"Hey I won't lie. It's been fun. And Eilan, well he is great too but he isn't you." She looked at me and grinned. I put my hand over her shoulder and dragged her away from the window to a table Thor had set up for us. It would be a while until General Hammond sent us the O.K to beam down.
"So what have you been up to for the last four years? Did you finally follow my orders and get yourself a life?" I looked at her blush for a moment and she smiled.
"No still the same as always. We did have a hard time at the start and Eilan, well he is a great guy but it was hard to accept him at first."
"Yea he is a great guy." I said softly wondering why his name kept popping up in every conversation.
I hang up the red phone with a contented sigh and a stupid grin on my face. The president sounded happy to learn that the traitors had been discovered, especially since Senator Norton had decided to run for the position at the next elections. He even said he'd deal with the senator himself, so I didn't waste any time calling Dean and Natarelli to my office, along with a few security guards. A few minutes later there was a knock on my door and I stayed seated, voicing a solid 'come'. The door opened on Natarelli, closely followed by Dean and they exchanged a worried look as they saw my smug statement.
"You asked to see me sir?" Dean asked as he snapped to attention, and as if suddenly realized who he was talking to, Natarelli imitated the captain warily.
"Yes," I replied, gesturing them to seat. They did as they were asked, still as suspicious as before. But I had to wait for the security guards and I have to admit that making them panic a little was welcome.
A few seconds later, another strong knock on the door startled the two officers. I stifled a smile and called the newcomers in. Eilan entered the room, two security guards on his heel and he directly approached my desk, handing me what I had been waiting for.
"Thank you Major." I said as I placed the tape carefully on my desk, to be sure everybody in the room here got to see it. Natarelli gulped and Dean looked Eilan up and down, probably wondering what he was up to.
"It's my pleasure sir." He said truthfully as he sharply saluted and exited the room, not without a furious and disgusted glance at the two officers.
"What's going on General?" Natarelli asked, obviously not getting it.
I smiled proudly.
As soon as Eilan exited of the general's office, his face was split in two by a huge grin.
"How did it go?" I asked worriedly.
"I think they're gonna be in trouble." He answered with a smile and I had to smile myself. Yet, even after all the trouble we got into to be able to bring Jack back, I was kind of nervous to see him again after all this time. I mean I missed him, the man had been a brother to me for more than three years, but still...Four years of absence can change a person, and I was more than certain we had changed at least as much as he had. The true and definitive reunion would be awkward, but I didn't really mind, the thought of having Jack around again overpowering any worries.
"So what next?" I asked, eager to participate in the plan, even if so far I hadn't been a very active member.
"Hey hey slow down Danny," Eilan replied with a laugh but came closer to me conspiratorially.
"So now you can signal he can come down." He added cheerfully handing me a little Asgard stone.
I observed it for a long moment, contemplating in wonder how a little thing like that could bring a man back to life again.
"Just touch it." Eilan said, thinking I didn't really know what to do with it when I really was trying to deal with the fact that I would be the one bringing Jack home.
Well, at least with the Asgard technology.
"So when did you become Lieutenant Colonel?" he asked, both of us seated on the cold floor of the ship, our heads resting on the wall while our shoulders were resting against each other's.
"Soon after you died. General Hammond thought that being Lieutenant Colonel would make it easier than if I'd have still been a Major. I was excited when he told me that, but I also knew that he didn't really do it because I had proven myself to be valuable to the SGC, like I had when I got promoted to Major. And you were there to encourage me as well." I added as I looked at him.
"Carter...No matter how you may think differently, I've always been there. It may not feel that way to you, but it's true. When I suggested Hammond promote you to Lieutenant Colonel, the only thing I had in mind was that you had once again had enough shit for at least both of us and that you deserved it because you've always been such an important asset to the SGC."
I didn't know if I should get angry, or pleased with his suggestion to Hammond, but I guess those eyes will always get the best of me, so I smiled, silently thanking him for taking care of me, even millions of miles away. He smiled back almost shyly and I leaned my shoulder closer to him.
"What about you? How did you manage to steal Goa'uld devices? I know that the Tok'ra helped you but..." I got interrupted by a flash of light in front of us.
"There's the signal!" I said cheerfully as I got up instantly, Jack imitating me milliseconds later.
"Sam," he said, grabbing my arm to make me look at him. "Before we go, I'd like to thank you. For the help and for sticking with me, I admit I didn't want you around at first, because I knew you'd want to poke your cute little nose into this affair, but I'm so glad you did. And if I had to choose who I'd want to have with me, I'd have chosen you."
Wow.
That's all I could think of. But after a second of looking into his eyes another thought came to me and I let my feelings take over my body as I kissed him briefly on the lips. I pulled away before he could do or say anything and I walked to the beaming down spot, waiting for him to join me. Still in shock, he just stood there looking at me in awe, and then in two steps he was by my side, entwining his long fingers with mine.
And then I brought him home.
I had never expected so many cheers. Some shocked looks maybe, but certainly not cheers and hugs. There were lots of people around I had never seen before but still, they shook my hand energetically, some of them even pulling me in a hug, but I didn't really mind, as long as I was home. But the people I wanted to see the most were waiting for me at the base of the ramp, waiting patiently. Teal'c with his hands behind his back, his head cocked to one side and a small smile on his lips, Daniel with his hands on his hips and looking impatient, if not nervous, Hammond, arms along his sides and Eilan, arms crossed on his chest, making him appear even stronger.
I smiled at them, my team, and passed by the other people waiting for me, taking hold of Sam's hand again as I made my way down the ramp.
"It is good to see you once again O'Neill." Teal'c said and I couldn't help hugging the guy, doing the same with Daniel. I shook Hammond's and Eilan's hands and then turned to Sam, squeezing her hand in mine and grinning so much my face hurt. She returned the grin happily, but remembering where I was and more importantly *who* I was, I reluctantly let go of her hand, immediately feeling the lack of heat on my palm.
Palis took that moment to come running into the room and I hugged him, explaining him I was finally home. But we had lots of time to really talk about that. So I was dragged down the infirmary and Janet literally jumped when she saw me standing in her infirmary.
"Glad to see you too Doc." I said with a grin.
I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling and I realized everybody shared the same feeling as I looked around at the people by my side. Except for Eilan, apparently, who decided to stay a little apart from our laughing circle in the commissary. We had decided to wait for the colonel there, so that it would be easy for him to find us when Janet was done with him.
After a moment, Eilan finally decided to come and talk to me.
"Can I...talk to you for a second...ma'am?" He whispered in my ear and I nodded, getting up and following him outside the room. I waited for him to talk and he took a deep breath, looking at me straight in the eye.
"Look...Sam." He said as he took my hand and this really caught my attention. He'd never used my first name, but his soft eyes were pleading for attention. "I don't really know how to tell you this...look, I know you've been in love with the guy for almost 8 years now..."
I started shaking my head in protest but he cut me off before I could even open my mouth.
"...But I feel like...I have to tell you that I've been in love with you for at least half of it, and that if I don't tell you now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life..." He finished and I closed my eyes, not wanting to believe this was happening.
"David...You do know that no matter what I answer you now, there is no chance for anything to happen between us." I managed to articulate. The last thing I needed at that moment was for him to pour his heart out to me. Which he had just done.
"Are you talking about regulations...or you?" He asked fearfully.
"Both." I breathed out. I hated breaking his heart like that, but he had to understand that, even if yes, I was attracted to him, there was no chance in hell I could ever forget, or not chose, Colonel Jack O'Neill. My heart had always been his and there was nothing I could do to change that.
Eilan closed his eyes slowly, as if absorbing the shock and I felt like shit.
"I'm sorry..." I said, as if it could help him. But he just dropped my hand and went away, without looking behind.
"So am I." He said coldly before he turned the corner and disappeared from my sight. I sighed and walked slowly back into the commissary, sitting where I was seated moments before.
"Everything all right Sam?" Daniel asked as he noticed my statement.
I nodded weakly, genuinely trying not to look depressed, but as I have said before, I'm a lousy actor. How could I have not seen this coming? I mean after all those years of companionship, I never once thought that this day would ever happen. It had never happened with the colonel, so why would it happen with Eilan? But I guess the reason was far more obvious than I would have cared to admit. Eilan and O'Neill were two very different men, Eilan always being sharp, direct, and it used to disconcert me sometimes, while O'Neill had always been soldier-like, saying only what was most important. Well, ok, so that's not entirely true, especially when he decided to joke around, but it was different. And now I guess I had to choose. Choose between two unreachable men, even if, deep in my heart, I had always known who I wanted.
I need some air.
That's all I was thinking as I made my way back to the surface. It was early morning, that time when the sun just had risen and the sky is filled with a lovely purple color that brings comfort even to the most tormented soul. I was surprised to find him there. He was just sitting there, his eyes fixed on some unknown point in the sky.
"Hello colonel!" I said softly. I just stood there for a moment before he actually acknowledged me. He moved his eyes from the sky and gave me a small smile.
"Hello Major, why aren't you celebrating with the others?" he pointed to a place near him on the ground. I moved to sit next to him and let out a sigh as I slid down to the ground.
"Something on your mind?" he gave me a deep look and I knew what was it he wanted to talk about. The same thing that has not failed to come up in any other conversation we had.
"Same thing that's on your mind sir." I said slowly.
"Cut the sir bullshit Eilan. We both know what's at stake here." He looked almost scared when he said that. As if he thought he was going to lose. I let out another sigh and turned to look at him.
"I never had a chance in hell Jack." He tried to hide his joy at my words but he did a lousy job at it since I could see his grin widening and the light come back into his eyes.
"I'm sorry to hear that." He said softly laying one hand on my shoulder for support.
"No you're not." I replied with a small grin "But at least I know the best man won. Even if he is a jerk." He gave me a genuine smile, real and from the heart.
"You should go see her," I said softly, "8 years is long enough."
He didn't even wait for me to finish the sentence and he was already up and heading for the entrance. At the last moment he stopped and looked back at me.
"Are you going to be alright?" sympathy written all over his face. If there is anyone on this planet that could understand my feelings at that moment, it's him.
"I'll be fine!" I said with a smile "After all I'm still young..."
"Smart ass..." I heard him whisper as he disappeared around the rock and headed down to the base.
I felt sorry for him. Part of me was filled with joy from the fact that she rejected him, and the other part just ached for my friend and his broken heart. We spent many nights talking about her I guess it was my fault, I wanted all the information I could get on her and slowly I could see that glint I have in my eyes appear in his. He knew how I felt about her and we decided long ago that she would decide and I was happy. I made my way to the entrance back to the compound lost in my thoughts when a soft body crashed into me.
"Sorry sir, how clumsy of me I wasn't looking!' the young lieutenant started apologizing almost instantly.
"It's ok lieutenant...?" I tried to give her the most reassuring smile I could come up with, she looked panicked.
"Willis sir, Francesca Willis. I'm new here just got assigned to this place as a science officer, and I needed some air, sir." She said with a small apologetic smile. She was a beautiful girl and a thought rushed to my mind.
"The perfect spot for air is right around that rock Lieutenant. But we will keep it our little secret ok?" I winked at her and started making my way back to the opening. In the distance I could hear the first introductions between her and Eilan. Somehow I thought it would all turn out for the best.
I looked all over the base for her. And when you take in mind that this base has over 28 floors of stuff that is not a small task. But I could not find her anywhere, and everywhere I looked people hugged me, congratulated me, talked to me. Making my task even harder. It was nice to be home but it didn't feel right until I'd talked to her. I could not go back to the way things were. I had been through so much in the past four years to let that happen. I finally found her in my old office. I always thought they would give the office space to whoever replaced me but when I got there I still saw my name on the golden plank near the door, I guess it's another thing SG-1 kept in perfect shape for me. I opened the door slowly to find her sitting on my chair with her back to the door staring at a photograph of SG-1 that stood on the shelf. I remember that picture; we took it just after we got back from Chulak. We weren't a team yet, I mean we were but we were still strangers to each other and you can see that by the way we all look so stiff when we looked at the camera, all except Teal'c. It's still a wonder to me how he always comes out so relaxed in pictures. I just stood there for a few minutes staring at the picture with her.
"Those were strange times" she finally said and turned around in her chair to face me. I see she is holding another group picture of SG-1, this one taken right after we saved the world (for the first time, we actually got a party then). In that picture we all look like a family.
"Yea they were," I say quietly. She looked up at me and for a moment I completely forgot what it is I came there to say to her. She got up and moved towards me handing me the picture.
"I am happy to relinquish command of SG-1 to you colonel." She said softly.
"That's not why I came here Sam" I took her hand in mine and I could feel her shaking. . "You kept your word colonel, I am home".
"Yes I did. And we are right back where we started. What is it with me and impossible relationships?" she sounded angry as she said that, tearing her hand from mine.
"How would you feel about having another civilian under your command?" I said that without even thinking.
"I can not let you do that colonel. You are Air Force through and through" she tried to hide it but I could see the glint of hope in her eyes.
"If you hadn't noticed I haven't been Air force for over 4 years now. I think I like it." And with that I turned and left the room in search of General Hammond.
I just stood there, in complete shock. Colonel Jack O'Neill saying he liked being out of the military? The meaning of the words took even longer to register in my mind.
"Colonel" I called after him in the hall and I saw he was making a deliberate effort not to respond to that, for a moment he almost turned to look at me.
"Colonel please stop" I called again and again he ignored me, until I knew what is it he wanted.
"Jack! Please" and that did the trick. He stopped and turned to look back at me with a small grin on his face as if he was sure he had made his point.
I walked to him trying to ignore the questioning looks from the people standing aimlessly in the hall.
"I can't let you do this Jack" I lowered my voice and looked straight at him.
"Tell me you don't love me," he said quietly and for a moment I'm not even sure I heard him. He looked at me with that look that can burn through me like a staff blast.
"Jack..."
"Tell me!" he sounded almost angry this time.
"I can't do that," I said softly while tearing my gaze from him.
"Well then Colonel I think we have a winner," he whispered softly as he leant down and kissed me. I have dreamt about this moment, ran it through my mind thousands of times but nothing came even remotely close to the real thing. The feeling of his soft lips on mine the touch that sent thousands of electricity jolts down my body and reached parts of me I didn't even know existed. Sometimes when you wait for something for a long time you get disappointed from the expectations. But in this case I would have died happy after that kiss. In the background I could hear the soft giggles of the airman standing in the hallway and even a handclap or two. When the kiss finally ended I saw Daniel, Teal'c, Palis and Janet standing right behind us.
"Jack what the hell is going on?" Daniel asked as he looked from me to the ex-colonel, open-mouthed and his eyes wide open.
"Daniel don't tell me you hadn't noticed anything!" Janet said as she slapped his arm.
"Well...no...not really...I mean...Did...did *you * know?" he asked Palis.
"Yep!" The boy then turned to Jack, who had taken hold of my hand while Daniel was recouping from his shock. "I told you she liked you Sayeedi" Palis said with a boyish grin.
"Come on let's all go out, my treat!" Jack looked at me with the most amazing smile on his face. "It's been ages since I had a good steak! Think O'Malley's is still open?"
"Um well actually we're still banned from there" Daniel said shyly, still looking between the two of us, he looked genuinely surprised.
"Still?! It's been over four years".
"Well we did a few things we shouldn't have...." I started to laugh as I realized what is it Daniel was talking about. "We'll tell you all about it over dinner"
"Come on, I know the perfect place" Janet said and started to make her way over to the elevator dragging Teal'c and Daniel behind her.
Jack turned to me and gave me a tight hug, one that used to be reserved only for near death experiences.
"Thank you," he said softly and kissed me again.
"You're welcome" I kissed him back almost forgetting where I was. A deep and inviting kiss.
"EEEEEWWWWOOO" I heard Palis's voice from behind me. "Dr. Daniel says to stop smooching and come on already. He is hungry! And so am I!" he then grabbed my hand pulled me away from Jack and started dragging me towards the elevator.
"We will continue this later" Jack followed us with a smile.
"Oh yea you betcha!" I returned the smile and I knew that no matter what would happen next we would face it together.
EPILOGUE
"You got the papers yet?" I say as I come behind him, encircling my arms around his waist and placing my chin on his shoulder. His hands come to rest on mine as he leans against me.
"Yeah...Do you think he'll like it? Living here with us?"
I'm surprised to realize he's even doubting it. "Of course! What could possibly make you think otherwise?" I ask as I place my nose on his neck.
"I don't know," he says as he looks down at the papers between his fingers. "He's never really lived in *one* place all his life. Maybe he's got to continue that kind of life to feel...like home."
For a moment I don't know what to tell him. He's right, Palis has never really had a home. Since he met Jack he's always been on the run, moving from a planet to another, staying only a couple of days or weeks on each. If he's in any way like the machlif he knows and loves, there's a good chance he'll miss the action after a while.
"What do *you* think?" I finally reply, trusting him to make the right decision. He sighs.
"I think I couldn't let him go even if I wanted to."
After a long talk with Hammond, it was decided that Palis would be given refugee status as well as American citizenship. And given that, Jack thought he'd like to make it official and adopt the kid. And I didn't mind a bit.
I tighten my embrace and he smiles, turning around to hug me tightly.
"Love you." He says in my neck.
"Love you back," I whisper as I kiss his cheek. "Now what do you say you go tell him about the news."
"I say you're right. As always. I'll meet with you later ok?"
I nod, smiling as he kisses me briefly. And then he's gone to have a man-to-man talk with Palis.
"Sayeedi!"
"Hey Palis. I have...something to tell ya."
"What is it?" He asks, sitting on my bed, looking at more than reading a dinosaur book Daniel bought him. I walk into the room and sit beside him.
"Remember when you told me that we belong together, and that we'd stay together forever?" He nods energetically. "Do you still mean it?"
"Of course." He answers matter-of-factly.
"Then you do know that now that I'm home, I won't travel as much as before." I continue.
"Yes."
"Ok...what I wanna tell you is that...I love you very much and I'd really like you to stay here with me. Me and Sam, actually. What do you think? You think you can handle staying here on Earth with us?"
His smile widens and his eyes get brighter.
"Oh yeah!" He says and I laugh, knowing that no one else but me could have taught him such an statement.
"Great!" I reply as I ruffle his dark hair. "Now all we have to do is make it official, and then you can stop calling me Sayeedi. I'm not Sayeedi anymore.
I'm Jack."
The end
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Ravital Aichler andAmelie Allard
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Dead Man Walking
by Ravital ASite Navigation
Support Heliopolis