Sam's Letter for Daniel
Sam's Letter for Daniel
by Amanda J
Summary: A series of letters that Sam writes.
Category: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Future Story, Romance, Series
Episode Related: 101 Children of the Gods
Season: any Season
Pairing: Daniel/Sha're, Jack/Sam, none
Rating: 13+
Warnings: minor language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-01-12
1/10/05
Dear Daniel,
Hey. It's funny - it being so difficult to write this letter to you. You'd think that especially now that we've got so much in common it would be even easier than normal to talk to you. The truth of the matter, Daniel, is that I'm too afraid I'll break down. Now - more than ever - I need to be strong. For Jack.
It does make it easier knowing that you've already gone through this. I know that sounds horrible, it is horrible, but it's also true. What kind of person does that make me?
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I'm coming or going, Daniel. I can't think straight. I can't eat, and yes, I know how dangerous that is. I can't sleep. When I finally doze off I have horrible nightmares. I dream of Jack.
Sometimes he's still unharmed. Sometimes his eyes are glowing. Sometimes he's being tortured. Those are the worst. It's like I'm a ghost. I can walk around the room and no one can see me. No one but him. Somehow he's able to lock onto me with his eyes. I try to free him, but my hands just slip right through whatever I try to touch. I can't stop them from tormenting him. They're ready to put a Goa'uld in him. He's terrified, I can feel it. He's got a single tear slipping down his temple. He begs me to kill him instead of letting them take him as a host. God, Daniel, it's awful. Those are the worst. I've suddenly got a P-90 in my hands. I slowly raise it up to him, but I can't bring myself to kill him. I love him too much to be the one to end his life. Then it's too late. He's looking at me with such disappointment in his eyes. But then they glow. Then I wake up. Did you have dreasm like that when Sha're was first taken?
Daniel, I'm so scared that Jack's not gonna make it either. I'm thankful that you and Teal'c are out there searching for him. Regardless of whether or not I'm runing the base in his absence (at least until they find a suitable replacement) you've got to know that if it weren't for this pregnancy I would be out there with you. As Teal'c once told Jack, "Wild equines...."
I don't know if Jack ever told you guys, but we were pregnant once before. I miscarried back in March of last year, a week and a half before we were married. We found out I was pregnant again in September. I can't tell you how happy Jack was when he found out. I can't take the chance that anything will happen to this baby. Not with Jack gone now. What if this is the last little piece of Jack I'll ever have?
Dammit,Daniel, I've never felt so confused in my entire life. Ever. I don't know how I'm going to continue. I know that eventually I'll sort it out though. I have to. For Jack's sake. And the baby's.
This isn't exactly what I had intended when I started this letter. I just wanted to let you know why it seems that I'm avoiding you. I am. I know that you just want to comfort me. But I see in your eyes the fear that what happened to Sha're will be the same fate as Jacks. I can't see that right now. I can't take looking at the death of my husband.
Find him and bring him back for, Daniel. I need you to.
Love,
Sam
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