Shade - The Conclusion
Shade - The Conclusion
by Gene Este
Title: Shade - The Conclusion
Author: Gene Este
Email: gene_este@hotmail.com
Category: Action/Adventure, AlternateUniverse, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Series
Season: any Season
Pairing: none, Sam/Jack
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: adult themes, minor language, none
Summary: Sam must face the serious consequences of her actions.and a move that will either help or hurt her.
Sequel to: Shade: Part 9
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Author's Notes: Don't worry folks, just the end of Shade the story, not the series. There are two sequels in the works. For more information, visit The Gene Pool:
http://www26.brinkster.com/geneeste/
The crackle of electricity hit Teal'c like a blue web and he fell to the ground with a loud thump. The room stilled momentarily before anyone could absorb what had happened. Sam still held the zat tight in her trembling hands, her heart hammering loudly inside her chest as if it would explode, heat flooding her cheeks.
Then as if someone was running the scene in slow motion, people seemed to move around her, making it seem like time moved at a whole different pace for her. Someone was shouting orders, but her eyes remained on Teal'c.
Daniel was slowly helping Teal'c to sit up, Teal'c's eyes locking with Sam's. She couldn't speak, her lip managing to tremble, tears obscuring her vision. She watched as Janet rushed to his side, while Jack, obviously shocked speechless that she had had a zat the entire time and actually fired it, leapt forward and gently, but firmly, removed the zat from her hand. She was quite aware that after taking the zat, Jack stood for a long time looking at her, waiting for her to register his presence.
Daniel helped Jack get Teal'c out of the room, and Hammond called back the MPs that had been removed. There was no denying now that she was a threat.
Voices swirled around her, but she could only sit back and stare vacantly. She understood what she had done. And she knew the consequences. But nothing - nothing - so unsettled her than the fact that she had been wrong. It had been so easy for him to put his hands in her life.
"I am your friend. I will always be your friend. Whatever may come."
She was home.
Why wasn't she happy?
~
"You gave her a zat gun?! What the hell were you thinking?!"
Jack paced as he yelled, as both made him feel better, more in control. The fact that Teal'c had not only given her the gun, but also let her shoot him with it, infuriated him. He couldn't believe that Teal'c would put himself in danger like that, and Sam's well being. Once Sam realized what she had done, and she would eventually, it would take her a long time to forgive herself for it, to say nothing of the repercussions she would have to face from outside influences. Such as the MPs who were once again stationed outside her door around the clock, keeping anyone and everyone out. She was now officially under solitary confinement - minus medical personnel - while General Hammond decided just how much of a danger she really was.
Jack knew Hammond realized that she wasn't in her right mind, but this setback wouldn't bode well for her future. Hammond couldn't trust her judgment or her ability to discern reality from imagination.
In other words, he had to assume that she was full-blown wacko.
The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. He was beginning to believe that there was some kind of universal power out there that was wholly pissed-off at all the them. Sam had been imprisoned, tortured, beaten to the edge of death, and when they finally got her back and on the slow way to recovery, her mind had been messed with so much that she couldn't be sure who her friends were and who weren't.
She wasn't crazy, she was just a little screwed up. There was a difference.
They'd deal with it. In the meantime, however, he had another mess to deal with.
He took a deep breath, and spoke with calm he didn't feel. "Teal'c? Wanna clue us in here?" He stopped in front of his friend, who was disturbingly silent. Janet finished up her examination by shining a light in Teal'c's eyes, checking his pupils.
She sighed. "Everything seems in order. You're fine, Teal'c." She looked at Jack and shrugged. "Getting electrocuted is never a good thing, but there doesn't seem to be any lasting damage," she turned to Teal'c. "Are you sure your symbiote is okay?"
He nodded. "It is well."
She sighed again. "Okay then. I'm going to go check on Sam."
Jack nodded and waited until she left to speak again. "While I do so appreciate being included in your nice little suicide attempt, I've got to tell you, it was a damn fool thing to do. I ask again, why?"
"I simply gave her what she needed, O'Neill." Teal'c pulled on his shirt and stood.
Jack blinked at the cryptic answer, and looked to Daniel for help.
Daniel scowled, but prodded gently. "What she needed. O-kay...what?"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "This entire situation has been Major Carter's method of regaining control. Thus far, another has made any and all choices concerning her person. By giving her a zat gun, I gave her the ability to control her own destiny. I was conscious of the possibility that such a choice could be unfavorable."
"Furthermore, how can we expect Major Carter to trust us, if we do not make it clear that we trust her? I trusted her to choose the right option, and though she did not, I still communicated my faith in her."
Jack shook his head. "Teal'c, I have no clue how I'm going to explain this to Hammond. Do you have any idea how much trouble Carter's in?"
Daniel was taken aback. "Jack, don't you think you're overreacting a little? Teal'c's fine. There was no permanent damage done."
"They aren't going to let this blow over, Daniel. Come her psych evaluation, they're gonna bring this up. Then it's going to be counted against her if for some reason she doesn't pass with flying colors. This is going to have a bearing on her future, whether we understand why she did it or not."
He flopped down into a chair, anger and frustration coming off him in tangible waves. "It was the worst possible way this could have gone down. Not only did it have to happen in a room where there was the possibility of ten other witnesses, but it had to happen in front of her high-ranking commanding officer."
Daniel leaned forward. "This is General Hammond we're talking about, Jack. He's not going to sell Sam out. He knows how valuable to the program she was and, given time, how valuable she can still be. "Jack...she's been through a lot. That has to count for something."
"He can't ignore what he saw with his own eyes, Daniel. Hell, even I saw how on edge she was." Jack rubbed his forehead, wishing that he could get a full night of uninterrupted, peaceful sleep. He was quickly losing the thin veneer of calm he had going. Damn Teal'c for not thinking of the consequences.
"Well...what are we going to do?" Daniel asked quietly.
" `We'? `We', Daniel? I didn't know Teal'c was planning this lovely stunt. Did you?"
Daniel fixed Jack with a cold stare. "Are you saying that you're not going to do any thing to try to fix this?"
Jack felt the final threads of his control break and fall away. "Daniel! He gave her a weapon, then stood back and let her use it in a room full of people. What if she hadn't gone after you, Teal'c? What if she had shot Daniel, or Jacob? Hell, what if she had shot Hammond?"
Teal'c leveled his gaze. "I am a Jaffa. Her captors were Jaffa. It was logical to assume that I would be her target."
"You assumed. Assumed. You didn't know, Teal'c. And what if she hadn't stopped at one? As you said, you're a Jaffa. There was nothing stopping her from turning you into fairy dust. It's a very thin line that allows us to sit here and talk to you right now. Stupid, Teal'c, very, very stupid."
"Jack...I think that's enough." Daniel shifted in his chair.
"But above all, you know what really pisses me off? This isn't going to affect you, Teal'c. Sure, you got shot, but the effects are already wearing off, and it stops there. But for Carter, it isn't just going to go away. But you didn't think of that, did you?" Jack angrily pushed himself out of his chair and yanked his jacket off the table.
Daniel stood with him. "Where are you going?"
"Out. Away from here."
"Jack, Sam needs you here."
"Why? I can't see her. And she sure as hell doesn't want to see me. To hell with it." He left with Daniel's mouth hanging open and Teal'c looking on stoically.
Jack knew Daniel was dumbfounded by his behavior, but at that moment he didn't care. He was too angry to think about anything but the fact that everything was out of control.
~
"I'm telling you Janet, he was furious." Daniel had gone out driving after the confrontation with Jack in the break room, and had found himself parked in front of the doctor's house. Not one to question his reasons for ending up on her street, he knocked on her door.
And wasn't surprised to find her waiting for him.
She had fed him and made him a pot of coffee without question, and then led him to talk. "I don't understand it. Jack isn't one to just walk out, especially when it's one of us." He shook his head and leaned back onto the sofa.
"Daniel, he feels responsible for all of you. Unfortunately, this isn't any kind of situation he's used to. He doesn't have any power over what Teal'c does, or you, or Hammond. And most of all, not Sam. It's got to be stressful for him. You know how he is, Daniel. He doesn't discuss his problems until they get so unbearable he explodes."
When Daniel said nothing, Janet sighed. "Look Daniel, don't take it personally. I doubt he was really even completely angry with Teal'c. It was just an outlet. He's angry about the situation, and like it or not, he's right. Sam is in trouble. We can try to spin it as much as we want, but the fact that she shot someone who was supposed to be her friend, and a teammate no less, is going to reflect badly. We're just going to have to do as much as we can to soften the blow."
"In the meantime, I would suggest you give the Colonel space. He can only take so much. He needs some time away." She propped her feet up on the coffee table and chewed on dry Cheerios, something he noticed she had picked up from Cassie. "Now ask me about my day."
Daniel grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Janet. I didn't mean to monopolize you with my problems. How was your day?"
She shrugged. "Great, if you don't count fielding calls from Sam's angry brother and sister-in-law. Apparently, they're none too happy about not even being allowed in the wing housing Sam's room. They want to know why, as always."
Daniel winced. "What have you been telling them?"
Janet scrunched up her nose. "That there's a high-ranking official, whose name I can't disclose, undergoing treatment for a serious illness, and the hospital is under orders not to let any non-military personnel inside the wing until the undisclosed official is discharged."
He had to chuckle. "That's pretty weak, Janet, even for you."
"Yeah, they seemed to think so too."
Daniel rubbed his forehead. "Jacob's been absent for a while. He was there when Teal'c was shot, but before that and since he hasn't been around. I overheard the General say he's been through the gate several times since Sam woke up."
Janet scowled. "What do you think he's been doing?"
"I don't know. He's acting out of character."
Janet scoffed. "Yeah? He can join the club."
~
Sheer guilt brought Jack back to the hospital several hours later, after a bit of sleep and a long hot shower. The lateness of the hour ensured Jack of his privacy, so he was able to slip into the Nurses' break room with a minimal amount of fuss.
He was surprised to find Jacob sitting there at the table, alone and in the dark.
"Jacob?"
The man looked up, an uncharacteristic amount of age showing in his face. An empty bottle of whiskey sat on the table, and another half-full bottle beside that.
Jack sighed. "I really hope you didn't drink all of that by yourself."
Jacob gave a sheepish shrug. "Not like it has an effect. Selmak sees to that."
"Then why drink?" Jack asked as he drew a chair, turned it backwards, and straddled it.
Jacob gave a soft, bitter laugh. "Habit."
Jack picked up the bottle and took the cup Jacob had been using. He filled it to brim.
He tipped his head, and then took a long swallow. "Understandable."
"I hear you and Teal'c had a bit of a blowout."
Jack gave him a rye look. "We had a disagreement," he confirmed.
"It wasn't his fault, you know. He just did what he thought would help."
Jack rubbed his eyebrow in a show of regret. "I know."
"Then why take it out on him?"
Jacob knew what he was going to say before it even got out Jack's mouth, and said it with him. "Habit." He took the glass out of Jack's hand. "I think you need another drink."
Jack shook his head, eyeing the near-gone whiskey. He really hadn't wanted company, especially from anyone related to Sam, but he couldn't leave Jacob alone trying to drown his demons. They'd have less room to swim around if Jack added his to the mix.
"I think we need more liquor."
Jacob shrugged. "Plenty of time."
Jack raised his glass in salute. "I'll drink to that."
~
Sam lay on her side, wishing that for one night her demons would leave her alone.
Closing her eyes, she saw Shade's face flash suddenly across the back of her eyelids, and felt a tingling sensation inside her mind.
Samantha...
Her eyes flew open and she pushed him away. She knew she could no longer trust him. Too much had happened; horrible things that stretched taut her emotions, winding them until she couldn't make out what was what. The thought added another ache to her heart.
And now Shade knew, too.
~
"So where have you been disappearing too?" Jack queried, speech slowed but not slurred. It would take a couple more drinks to assure that, and he had long decided to call it quits. Janet would kill him if he did any further damage to his liver.
Jacob looked at the hollow bottles of alcohol. "You're not going to like it."
"So what? I can deal. What the hell do you think I've been doing thus far?" Jack shot back, leaning back in his now-righted chair.
"Fine. But I warned you." He stood and pulled out coffee grinds. "I've been looking for Sam's cellmate."
Jack frowned severely. That touched a nerve somewhere deep in Jack, the same one that always warned him when bad things were about to happen. "What? Why?"
Jacob sighed at the coffee machine. "Because he can tell us what Sam can't. I want to know what happened to her there, Jack. I want to know how she was able to contact you and Daniel. I want to know how she survived. But most of all, I want to know why we were able to get off that planet without a fight."
"So do I, Jake. But why do we have to involve that guy? I didn't have a good feeling about him then and I don't have a good feeling about him now."
Jacob turned to him fully. "You prefer we wait until Sam's feels ready to tell us herself? That may never happen. You of all people know that. And I don't think I can move on with those questions. Can you?"
A muscle in Jack's jaw twitched.
"I didn't think so." He went back to making coffee nonchalantly, but his voice was steely. "Right now, he's the missing piece in this whole damn puzzle. And I intend to find him."
~
Daniel was nervous. He and Janet had talked into most of the night about what to do with Sam; what would bring her out of the abyss she had fallen into, what would hurt her, what would help her.
They had eventually decided on the risky approach. Throw her into the water, and hope that she remembered the need to swim. It was a dangerous game they were playing, but they were at the end of the road. Sam would have to cut her own way through the underbrush that was her life, or she'd waste away at a dead end. There was no other way.
Janet, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease to Daniel. He was smart enough to know that it was a faade, but as she started to put forth their case for Sam's release, he was thankful for it. He knew that for his teammate, the woman he counted as friend and family, he would do the same.
"Sir, we've kept Sam in the hospital since the incident with Teal'c for over two weeks. I've seen very few signs that would indicate that her mental condition is getting worse. However, I've seen very few signs that it's getting any better." Janet sighed and tossed Sam's medical file on the briefing table.
Hammond frowned. "What do you mean?"
She threw up her hands. "Her mental condition is just as important as her physical condition. Keeping her in the hospital isn't going to help. I can only heal the injuries I can see."
"What are you suggesting?"
Janet took a deep breath and traded looks with Daniel. "I'm suggesting that I discharge her," seeing Hammond's look, she continued, "under medical supervision, of course. If Sam agrees, we can move her out of her apartment and into a house closer to the base in case of an emergency. This is also convenient should another...incident happen. Which is doubtful."
"Doctor, I don't have to remind you of the possible security risk she poses to the Stargate project. She's a danger, if the incident with Teal'c is any example. "
"We understand that, sir," Daniel put in, clasping his hands together. "But prolonging her stay in the hospital is just going to make things worse. She needs to be reacquainted with her life if we expect her to regain any degree of normalcy."
Hammond sighed. "I'm sorry Dr. Jackson, but the last I checked you were a doctor of archaeology. You're not exactly qualified to make any assumptions."
Daniel looked stung for a moment, and then turned resolute. "I know General. But I am her friend. And I care about her a lot. In that respect, I'd say I'm pretty qualified."
Sighing, Hammond shook his head and leveled a look at Janet. "What do you think I should do, Doctors? Assign a SF to her every hour of the day until we're sure she won't shoot someone?"
The corner of Daniel's mouth turned up slightly. "Essentially, sir...yes."
"Actually sir," Jack appeared in the doorway with Teal'c behind, "I may have a better idea."
~
"No." Sam repeated, again. She didn't want out. She wanted in. She wanted as far away from the real world as possible.
Janet sighed, and pushed a hand through her annoyingly tangled hair. `No' was all Sam would say. It was a step up from nothing, that was for sure, but she had been at this for an hour and she still wasn't getting any farther than that damn `no'.
"What do you expect to accomplish staying here? You're not getting anywhere. You're going to have to start physical therapy soon, and part of that is learning how to live with being handicapped."
Her eyes flashed, and Janet saw anger fill her face at the word `handicapped'. She sighed. That had been a bad choice of words.
"No." Sam said firmly, more so than the last several times. Only this time Janet knew she wasn't referring to leaving the hospital.
"Okay, so you're not handicapped. But you are going to have to learn to live differently, whether you like it or not. Your leg isn't just going to magically heal. It's going to take time, and a whole lot of effort. Effort isn't foreign to you, Sam. You can do it. You just have to take that first step."
She stared for a second, and then rolled her eyes to the foot of her bed.
Janet closed her eyes, willing herself to be patient. She had known that it wouldn't be easy when she had volunteered for the task of convincing Sam to leave willingly. Obviously, however, coaxing and reasoning with her wasn't working. She was staunchly against leaving, and it was clear that she wasn't going to budge.
She sighed. She was just going to have to say it.
"Sam, we were hoping that you'd be happy about this. Unfortunately, I can see that you're not. But you don't have a choice in the matter. Your stay at the hospital is up. I just can't justify keeping you here any longer. You're going to have to go home. I'm sorry."
Sam's head turned sharply, and she looked at Janet as if she had been betrayed.
Guilt and anger warred within her. She just didn't understand. "What is it that you want? To stay here forever, closed off from everything? How is that going to help you, Sam? Would familiar surroundings help? Maybe we should lock you up in a dark closet a leave you for a couple of months. Would that make you feel better?"
Tears welled up in her eyes and intense hurt and shock swelled in her face. Janet shook her head, fiercely regretting what she had said, even though it had a vein of truth running through it.
"Look Sam, I'm sorry. But you can't stay in this place forever. And I don't just mean in this hospital room," she averted her eyes as Janet said this. "You've got to heal, move on. You can't hide away. You have to get on with your life."
"How?"
Janet lurched a little with surprise. Sam was responding to what she was saying, not just repeating things over and over, or using words to hide what she was thinking and feeling. She was actually responding.
She didn't say anything for a moment. "I guess...just by doing it one day at a time. You can't do anymore than that."
Janet watched as Sam closed her eyes, scooted down the bed into a lying position, and turned her back.
She got up and placed her hand on Sam's shoulder, and said nothing as she left the room.
Sam hadn't flinched. Whether that was to her credit or Janet's, she didn't know.
~
Sam's new place was cottage-style, surrounded by trees that echoed with the cheerful song of birds. About three minutes from the base, it was isolated enough for her to have privacy, but close enough to the nearest little town that she could get everything she needed without a lot of effort.
Janet had spoken with Sam - or rather at Sam - and managed to convince her - rather, Sam didn't say anything to the contrary - to invest in certain aspects of the house to make her living easier. Such things as balance bars in the bathroom, a porch with fewer and longer steps, and so on.
It had taken a few weeks to finally get things in order, but General Hammond's Son-in-Law was a contractor, who in turn pulled some strings. SG-1 plus Janet managed to move all Sam's things in within a few days, and it all came down to moving Sam in.
Jack stood surveying the house as he heard a car pull up. They had decided that Sam's Volvo really wasn't suitable for transportation at this point - not that Sam would be able to drive for a while anyway - so they borrowed Siler's 4Runner.
He turned around just in time to see Daniel get out of the driver's seat followed by Janet. Daniel went around to help Sam out of the car, while Janet caught Jack's attention, a question on her face. He nodded.
She nodded back, and went to help Daniel.
A few minutes later, Daniel moved to stand beside Jack, watching Janet and Sam who were a few feet away. Sam was looking at the house indifferently; sitting in a wheel chair that Jack had no doubt she despised.
They watched as she pushed herself up, and in obvious pain propped herself up on the railing of the porch, gingerly keeping her weight on her left leg. Slowly, remembering to be careful of her knee, she made it up onto the porch. There she leaned against back against railing again, catching her breath, avoiding the help and comfort from Janet.
Daniel sighed, still watching Sam. "Are you sure we're doing the right thing?"
Jack took a moment. There was no telling how the next five minutes were going to turn out. It could either be very good, or very, very bad.
"No."
Daniel blew out a breath. "Yeah. And we're doing it anyway?"
They exchanged a look. "Yep."
Sam and Janet walked into the house, and a moment later the crash of something big and loud could be heard, even from outside.
Daniel shook his head. "This is going to be interesting."
With that, they followed into the house, to see what disaster they had created.
~
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