Thoughts: Fair Game - Sam
Thoughts: Fair Game - Sam
by Elise Hudson
TITLE: Thoughts: Fair Game - Sam
AUTHOR: Elise Hudson
EMAIL: elisemarie@cwcom.net
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: Fair Game
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 2; Part of the Thoughts series
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: Sam's thoughts
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Major Samantha Carter
I hate it when this happens. I really do. I also hate how he can cause this reaction in me. I hate how one second everything's normal and the next they're not. How one minute he's stood on the podium giving a speech about my promotion and the next, poof he's gone.
I hate it when he does that. He gets himself into trouble easier than Daniel. If I really compare the two of them, sure they both get into trouble, but has Daniel ever had a language down-loaded into his brain? Has Daniel ever eaten a cake and aged? Has Daniel ever nearly come close to being either a Jaffa or a host? Has Daniel ever disappeared before my very eyes? Has Daniel ever conjured up these feelings in me?
In case you hadn't guessed the answer's no to all of them. Of course I get worried when things happen to Daniel, but it's not the same as when things happen to Jack.
Anyway, Jack had gone and done it again. He was stood on the podium giving a speech about my promotion and he just... disappeared. It was meant to be one of the best days of my life. My promotion from Captain to Major. One of the rare moments when someone praises me openly and rewards me for my merits. It's one of the few moments when everyone forgets my gender and praises my science background.
Of course most of the time when anything happens to Jack or Daniel it is my science background that rescues them. I rarely get a 'thank-you' or a 'job well done'. And, naturally, when I finally do get a thank-you Jack has to upstage me and be kidnapped.
I know it's not his fault, but how dare he? How dare he cause me to feel this way? I can't explain what went through my mind after his disappearance. I was instantly surprised. One second he was there and the next he was gone. Then I bcame worried and afraid, wondering where the man I... I mean, where my CO had gone.
Ever since that orb thing last year my feelings for him have changed. Well maybe they haven't changed they've just become... apparent. I remember how it felt to know that I'd killed him and the relief when he'd come back to us, to me. After that event I wanted to talk to him, to try and apologise for killing him. I couldn't.
Well, could you really apologise to your CO for killing him? Could you really try and explain feelings that you don't understand?
And then he returned and we went straight on with business. There was no pause or break to discuss what had happened to him, for me to be glad that he was safe. He had disappeared and I had felt so worried and scared and when he returns we don't even mention it. That's why I can't tell him my feelings because he so obviously does not feel anything back.
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