Turning Fifty
Turning Fifty
by Demonkeys
TITLE: Turning Fifty
AUTHOR: Demonkeys
EMAIL: stargate_fan@intergalactic.co.uk
CATEGORY: S/J romance, hurt/comfort.
SPOILERS: Divide and Conquer, Window of Opportunity, Scorched Earth (Apologies if these are wrong, but I live in the UK and I got the info of an episode review.)
SEASON / SEQUEL: Season 4.
RATING: Not totally sure of the American rating system but I guess PG-13.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Sam wumphing, little m/f, nothing graphic. I think someone swears once.
SUMMARY: Jack turns fifty and reflects on his past, Sam gets hurt and he realises how much she means.
STATUS: Finished, but be warned, there will be more!
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me, and I'm not making any money from this so please don't sue!
Jack
I fumbled through my overloaded pockets to find my house key, almost dropping my battered briefcase as I did so. My fingers fail to close round the cold metal of the key. I must have left it back at the base, perhaps when I changed into my fatigues. It's no bother. I keep a spare on in my car. I click the little button that activates the infra red thingy and the locks click. I reach down into the side well of my car and pull out the spare key. It put the key in the lock and sigh. Tomorrow is my fiftieth birthday. And nobody has remembered. I've been dropping hints, big hints, hints only I know how to do properly. And they still didn't remember.
I was the last one of us home this week. We just came back from a mission, and I had cut my hand on some barbed wire stuff the natives had erected to try to keep people away from the DHD. It would be me that cut myself. So I had to spend half an hour in the infirmary while they pulled metal barbs out of my palm and while those damn student nurses laughed at me, no, giggled at me, from the other side of the room. I mean for crying out loud! What is there to laugh at? I'm stood there trying not to scream in pain as the doc pulls out spikes from my hand, there's blood going everywhere, what is funny? Well, okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, it wasn't that gory, but it was still very painful. So unlocking the door with the stitches in my bruised and swollen hand is a little difficult, but I manage, and dump my bags in the hall and go through to my front room. TV and beer, no there's a temporary solution. I open my living room door with my good hand.
"Surprise!" cries about half of the SGC, which are all crammed into my front room, which is also meticulously tidy and decorated with big banners saying 'Happy Fiftieth Birthday.' I blink in shock as Carter, wearing this amazing blue dress, hands me my house key.
"Sorry, but it was the only way we could get in early to tidy, decorate and hide." she smiles. Daniel approaches with a beer, and hands it to me. Around the room champagne glasses raise and the general proposes the toast. Janet flips on a music CD, on a player I have never seen before in my life, and people settle down, start dancing, and talking, and drinking. I sit down heavily on my sofa.
"You didn't have a clue, did you?" asks Daniel as he sits down beside me. I shake my head, still a little flabbergasted.
" We've been here for ages," says Carter, as she sits down on my other side.
"Err," I manage, wondering just how much of my house they had tidied. Perhaps noticing my guilty look Daniel grins wickedly and pokes me in the ribs.
"You really should have taken the underwear off the floor, Jack." he taunts.
"Err," I repeat, I'm definitely blushing now. Carter is grinning too.
"Fifty? More like fifteen." she snorts. I've lost my normal unflustered demeanour and I give up, and take a long gulp from my beer.
"Well, if you're only as young as you think you are and I think like a fifteen year old I'll take it as a compliment." I say after. Janet comes over and almost sits on Daniels lap, so we all squash up so she can sit down as well. My jeans are now pressed against Carter's leg. I concentrate very, very hard on what Daniel is saying, without actually listening at all. Dammit, I really must start acting my age. I take another deep sip from my beer. This could be a very long evening.
It was a very long evening, and it isn't over yet. Most of the guest disappeared about elevenish, but it's a little after midnight and I've just seen Janet out. I come back into my living room, which is almost as much as a mess as it was when I left the house Monday morning. That's right, Monday and today's Friday. I've slept at the base the last few nights. Somehow, home doesn't feel like home anymore, not after everything that's happened these last few weeks, and I like to be contractible in case of emergencies. I mean, Martouf's dead, and the Tokra have been contacting us an awful lot lately, and Thor and his lot, and the Go'uld seem to have gone mad with evil plots and alliances. Anyway, the living room is an absolute tip, and Daniel's passed out on my sofa, and Teal'c is watching some late night trash on the TV and Carter is just sitting their staring into space, and I want to be left alone now. I want to reflect on my life. I mean, I'm almost officially an antique now and I want to think back on the last fifty years. Especially a part, oh how long is it now? A part almost six years ago. Jesus is it six years? It doesn't feel like six months. I better go and put some flowers on the grave.... Teal'c stands and brings me out of my deep, dark thoughts about Charlie.
"I will leave you now, O'Neill." he announced.
"Don't you need a lift?" asks Carter. Daniel snores loudly at this point, and Teal'c raises his eyebrow.
"Indeed. DanielJackson was supposed to be taking me home." he says.
"I'll give you guys a lift." says Carter.
"You sure?" I ask. I don't really want to be driving on my birthday, but I don't know if Carter's ever driven Daniels car before. I wouldn't want them to crash.
"Yeah, I'll be fine si-" she catches herself. It was first name basis this evening, "Jack." she finishes, with a hint of a smile. Normally the mention of my first name issued from her lips would make my heart lurch, but not at the moment. I just want to drown my sorrows and forget everything for the time being. I help her and Teal'c load the grumbling Daniel into the car, god that man is an awful drunk! I wave them goodbye as the headlights dwindle as they drive away and shut the door to. I notice Carter has left her coat. Oh well, they said they'd be back tomorrow to help me tidy up, and she can fetch it then. I go into the front room and pull out my favourite CD from the rack, and place it in the CD player that has mysteriously appeared. It's probably Carter's or Daniel's. An old band from the seventies blast through the speakers. Music from my era. The mournful tunes send my train of thought clicking along the same track they had taken earlier. Back to the shining black headstone in a cemetery down south a bit. Sara looks after it more than I do. She knows I don't often have the time to go down there, but we occasionally bump into each other there. She's met someone else recently. A guy called Chuck or something. About her age, five or six years younger than me, but he looks about fifteen or twenty. It felt weird, when I saw them both laying flowers last time I was down their. He was my son. Not Chuck's. Why should he be able to lay flowers?
My thoughts buzz and the sad music plays on, an it isn't long before the tune, singing about 'when I'm old and wise' had bought back memories of Charlie himself. He'd be sixteen soon. Sixteen! I can still see his face as clear as the day. In fact, I have a nice picture of him, taken just a few days before....it... happened. It's in one of my drawers.
I dig through the photos in their. Wedding photos, a photograph of Kinthia, from Argos? She's found someone new as well. I think that Laira, the practical woman that she is will have found a new man now. That's another thing that hurts, why wouldn't she come with me?
I find the photo of Charlie right at the bottom, wrapped in tissue paper. I unwrap it and stare into the innocent face as tears slip from my eyes and drip onto the glass frame that he smiles up from.
Sam
I arrived at Daniel's apartment early in the morning, and Teal'c greeted me as normal. Our linguist was still in bed. He'd been sick all night. He looked awful and Teal'c decides that they could come over later, they'd get a bus so I could take the car. So that was why I was the only one at Jack's house at eight o'clock that morning as promised. I rang the doorbell and when I received no answer, knocked hard on the door. Still no reply. I frowned an walked round to the back of his house. The back door is locked, but the balcony platform he stargazes from has a door that I bet wasn't locked last night. It's a bit stupid, but I decide to climb up and see if I can get in through there. I hope Jack's okay, that he didn't get too drunk late last night.
It's easy for me to shin up and I try the handle of the glass door. It opens and I walk in, feeling a little guilty but doing it anyway. I go down the stairs and push open the living room door. He's asleep, splayed out on the sofa. A couple of cans of beer lie round the chair, and on his chest lies a framed photograph, that he clutches like it's the most important thing in the world. A boy smiles up from the picture, scruffy hair every which way, like Jack's was when I first met him. I guess this must be Charlie.
I haven't the heart to wake Jack, so I start to tidy up while his still asleep, making a steaming hot pot of coffee for him to drink when he wakes up. The front room is neat once more and I'm finishing the kitchen when he wakes up.
"Carter?!" he calls.
"I'm here, sir!" I call, this looks a little bit suspect, "I let myself in."
"Oh!" he calls back, then, "Good coffee." I re-enter the living room with a vacuum cleaner, and some polish and a duster. Time to start the heavy duty work. Urrgh.
I look at his face more closely, as he carefully re wraps he photo he is clutching in tissue paper, and places it with gentle care in a drawer. He sits down on the sofa again, with an air of depression.
"Are you alright, sir?" I ask.
"Fine," he replies, and he takes another sip of the coffee.
"Nothing you want to talk about?"
Jack
"Nothing you want to talk about?" asks Carter, and my heart lurches. Talk? To Carter? Normally I'd recoil from such an idea, I like to keep my business private, use Daniel as an agony aunt if I have to. Even Teal'c. But never Carter. I open my mouth to make a snappy comment but my tongue balks. I need to talk, to get some things off my chest. Carter's offering to help and I value her advice. But I can't.
"Nothin'," I sigh, giving up. I can talk to Daniel later.
"Oh, alright sir," says Carter, looking a little hurt, "You just seemed a bit, um, melancholy, that's all." she adds.
"Hmm," I say, "It's just, that whole incident with the naquada bomb recently. It's been weighing on my mind a bit." I say, deciding to tell the truth a little for now.
"Me too, sir. I mean, I could have killed him." she agrees.
"You could have killed him? I ordered you to build the damn thing."
"Yes sir, I built it. It would be my creation that would have killed him."
"Created under my orders." I say. She isn't beating herself up about this is she? It was my fault. The look of pain that has fixed on her face makes me realise that she might well be. "Oh, Carter. Of course it wasn't your fault, and, anyway, nothing happened so it doesn't matter." I say, a little gruffly.
"Yes sir." she says, and I know my words haven't really helped. D'oh. "These last few weeks haven't been too good, have they sir?" she asks.
"Nope," I say, "I mean, first of all there was that time loop," Which wasn't too bad, I think, but continue, "It was driving me nuts. And then when we got it all sorted, I mean, talking about..." I trailed off. Talking about Charlie. It's been bothering me ever since that thing got sorted. Carter nods understandingly.
"It's been bothering me about," she pauses for a second, and a look of pain comes across her face again, "About Martouf." she finishes. I swallow. I know that it hurt her, that incident, especially after she had to admit that we, um, like each other. God knows how confusing Jollinar's memories must have got. I never asked, never even considered comforting her, left it to the doc, or Daniel. I was too embarrassed, after the little episode about our feelings I didn't want anything to do with her, so no actions could be misconstrued.
"Jesus, Carter, I never even thought..." I trail off. She smiles grimly.
"It's alright, sir." she says, "I've dealt with it."
Obviously our little talk has left both of us in discomfort, so we return to the cleaning, Daniel and Teal'c turning up about half an hour later. It's about eight o'clock when they've all gone and I'm on my own again. I'm officially fifty at nine o'clock. An hour left of being forty nine. Somehow, there seems a huge gap between forty nine and fifty, forty nine is middle aged. Fifty is old. That sounds really daft, but that's how I felt. I walk to get myself some snack from the fridge, and notice Carter's coat is still on the hook. Damn. She'll probably want that, should I go over to her house to drop it off? She doesn't live very far away. I decide to, I want some company when I pass in to 'OAPdom.'
I drive over to her house and ring the bell. Her leather jacket is in my swollen hand and I shiver a little in the evening cool. I ring the bell again. Still no answer. The house is dark, and I wonder if she's in or if she went over to Daniel's. I ring the bell for a third time and when no one comes I walk back to my car, glaring at the dark house for a moment. I see a chink of light and a slice of a pale face, for a second, as if a curtain has been pulled back. It's her. I dash back up to the door.
"Carter!" I yell, hammering on the door, "I've got your coat!" I don't expect her to open the door, but something is obviously very wrong, and I can hammer until I break the door down. She opens it on the safety chain. I see a glimpse of her face and gasp. She has a huge bruise on her cheek and a black eye, and her arm hangs limply. Her face is dirty and tear streaked. "Carter!" I yell again, "Jesus, are you okay?!" A stupid question. Of course she isn't. She opens the door, tears running down her battered face and I hug her tightly. "What the hell happened?" I whisper.
"It's was so horrible," she murmurs, still buried in my shirt.
"What was?" I ask.
"Shut the door." she begs. I slam it to. Drawing away from me she sniffs.
"Carter... Sam... dammit... what happened?" I lose my cool demeanour, and forget that I never call her by her first name if I can help it. I forget that I'm not to show any form of positive emotion. I forget everything like that. I just wanted to make sure she was okay.
"I was... I was robbed Jack." she says. She used my first name, I realise.
"Robbed?" I say, "How?"
"Walking back from Daniel's.." she says.
"What!" I explode, "That goddamn son of a-"
"No Jack, it wasn't like that, "She tearfully explains, "He offered me a lift, I wanted to walk."
"What did they do to you?" I demand.
"They just stole my purse. They had to do this to me to get it." she said, with a hint of pride.
"Why didn't you just give it to them?" I ask, wondering for a second about the sanity of my second in command. I know it would have to have been a whole gang to beat her up like this.
"There was only one, I thought, the others jumped me when I refused. I'm sorry Jack," she burst in to tears again, "But, I couldn't just let them take it."
"Oh, Sam. Dammit, I'm not mad at you. They only stole your purse though, nothing else?" I whisper, fiercely as I hug her again.
"They were just after easy money Jack, not anything else." she whispers back.
"Good. Now come on. Stop crying. Lets get you patched up." I said, a feeling of slight relief settling over me. I release her from my embrace and brush hair away from her face. I suddenly become very aware of how close she is, but I shake my head. Taking advantage of her now would be sick. "Where does it hurt?" I ask.
"Everywhere," she whispers, "But especially my ribs and arm." she mutters. I gingerly touch her eye and she gasps. It looks very sore, and she has a swollen split lip too. I move through into her kitchen, which is like something out of a magazine, perfectly tidy. I find the some frozen peas and wrap them in a tea towel, so she can hold it to her face. Her arm looks badly bruised, maybe even fractured. I decided to be a gentleman and not look at her ribs, instead I offered to drive her over to Janet's.
"No, thanks sir." she says, she seems a little calmer now, and with sadness I note she has gone back to calling me sir.
"Ah, come on Carter. You need looking at." I say.
"No, really, sir, I can wait till the morning." she answers. If I didn't know her better then I'd say the major was embarrassed.
"Look Carter, it's nothing to be embarrassed about..." I say. I provoke the wrong reaction, she bursts in to tears again. Oh, sod...
"I'm not embarrassed," she sobs, "I was just so helpless..."
"Sshh," I shush her, "It's alright, I'm here now."
"I've never felt so vulnerable in my life." she continues.
"Look Sam," I say, using her first name once more, "It happens to all of us. I had my wallet taken once. There were seven of them and there was nothing I could do. It's awful at the time, but you'll get over it. You were just braver than most and you got the bruises to show for it." I say, as she wets my shirt all over again. My eyes drift over to the kitchen clock. Eight fifty five. Five minutes and I'm fifty, and in a situation I'd never dreamed of, Samantha Carter in my arms. I shove the thought out of my head. A few days from now Sam will dismiss this as an embarrassing accident, and I'll return to my gloomy days of wanting something to happen between us an being disappointed. She winces as I hug her, those ribs must really hurt.
"Ouch!" she winces, a look of pain flashing across her face.
"Look, Sam, I don't mean to be... um... anyway, you sure your ribs are okay?"
"They jumped on my chest, but even if they broke my ribs, there's nothing anyone can do, Jack." she says.
"What about your arm?" I ask. She flexes her fingers and bends her arm, grimacing as she does so.
"Just bruised." she says, nodding as if to convince herself.
"Okay! I give up!" I say, patience snapping with her stubborn attitude, "I care about you, alright? I just want to make sure you're okay." I add, as her eyes fill with tears again.
"I know you care." she whispers.
"Good. Now keep that ice to your face and let me get some raw meat for your eye." I smile, as I open her freezer again.
"Raw meat?" she asks.
"Yup. It works great on bruises. Charlie was always in scrapes, it worked every time...." I trail off. a lump is forming in my throat. Sam can sense this.
"Just like his Dad." she says gently. I nod, not trusting my voice. I find some liver, and hand it to her.
"I know it's disgusting." I say, just as she opens her mouth.
"Actually, I was going to say that this is scientifically impossible, for this to help."
"Scientifically impossible maybe, but you know a bumble bee can't fly according to science?"
"Yeah, I know." she smiles.
"So hold that there while I make you a sling for that arm, and get you some aspirin or something." I grin back.
I slid the crepe bandage over her neck and tie it securely, so her arm has support and I give her two aspirins and a glass of water to wash it all down with. The clock reads nine ten now. I've been fifty for ten minutes without knowing. I get a funny feeling all down my back. Carter notices my sudden waiver in attention.
"Oh, god Jack. Happy birthday!" she says.
"Thanks." I say back, ruefully.
"I'm just sorry I've spoilt it for you." she says.
"You haven't." I say, and I mean it, "Come on. Let's go into your front room, and you can put your feet up, and watch some TV, and eat chocolate?" I know that all women turn to chocolate in times of crisis, and Sam is no exception. I sit down with her on her sofa, drag a stool over for her to rest her feet on, and bring in a big bag of fun size choccie bars, and we pig out watching some romantic comedy on sky. We flick over to watch some low budget horror movie and I get some more chocolate. Glancing at my watch I realise it's now nearly half eleven. Sam doesn't seem to be anxious to see me off, and we sit for another hour, possibly one of the nicest in my life, watching the movie together, laughing at the directors feeble attempts to create tension, although Sam couldn't laugh too hard because of her sore ribs. It was half past midnight when we flicked over to watch a documentary about aliens, which was quite funny, considering we've met some aliens. It was two o'clock when that finished, and I realised Sam had nodded off to sleep. I didn't relish the idea of the long drive back, it was so late it was early.
I picked her up and carried her gently up the stairs and into her bedroom, removing her socks, but leaving her in the rest of her clothes. I spotted a bloody white T-shirt in her washing basket. No doubt it was what she worn when she was beaten up. I tucked the covers round her neck and folded them down at the edge. I set her alarm clock for eleven o'clock the next morning, and was about to switch off her light when she opened her eyes.
"Thanks Jack," she murmured sleepily, and grinned at me. I said nothing, I hadn't realised she was awake. "You can sleep over here, if you want. It's a bit late for you to drive back."
"Thanks Sam," I said.
"There's a pair of my Daniel's pajamas in the cupboard. They'll sort of fit you." she smiles. Daniel's pajamas? What were Daniel's pajamas doing over here? As if reading my mind she added: "He left them ages ago, when he was moving apartments, and needed a place to stay the night." Wow, Space monkey kept that pretty quiet. A night at Sam's eh? Mind you, both him and Sam herself had slept in my spare room more than once. I bade her goodnight and dug out the pajamas. They were too short, but they'd do. I dropped into the bed and fell pretty much instantly asleep, to tired after the days events to ponder on them, or Charlie and the fact I was now fifty.
Sam
I woke the next morning when the alarm Jack had set beeped. I groaned. Everything hurt, hurt so much it made me want to be sick. I swung my bruised legs out of bed and stagger into the bathroom. I run myself a hot bath and a noise from downstairs suddenly makes me remember I ask Jack to stay over. I wonder when he woke up. Instinctively I lock the door.
I stay in the bath for an hour or so, trying to soak some of the stiffness out of my bones. We have downtime until the stitches come out of Jack's hand, I guess I'll have a bit more when Janet sees me now. I get out of the bath and realise that I don't have a towel. A dilemma faces me. I can wander out without my clothes on, or I can put them on, sopping wet. I go for a halfway house, pulling the baggy T shirt over my head. It almost reaches my knees anyway. I've worn shorter skirts. I limp out of the bathroom as fast as I can, and grab a large towel from the airing cupboard. I wrap it round my waist as Jack appears, with typical male timing at the top of the stairs.
"Wow, sorry Carter." he says, spinning around, so he can't see me. I cringe a little.
"It's alright sir, I'm decent. What do you want?"
"I came up with some coffee for you. I thought you'd be out of the bathroom by now. Did I leave it tidy enough for you?" he asks, still spun around.
"Definitely. Here. Let me have the coffee." I say. I grab it from him as he turns with his hand over his eyes. Is that a glint of an eye? Is he peeking? I can't tell and don't want to speculate. I flee into my room. I dress hurriedly and go downstairs to meet him. He's made me breakfast! Wow! I scoff the bacon and eggs as fast as I can, thanking him fervently.
"It's nothin' Carter. Now, seen as you're dressed, and you've eaten, I'm driving you over to the base, and Janet is looking you over." he says.
"No, sir, really..." I begin.
"I'll make it an order if I have to." he says.
"You can't order me about on downtime." I say.
"Fine." he shrugs, and picks me up in one fluid movement.
"Put me down!" I shriek. We haven't messed about like this in ages, and I'm secretly enjoying it. He laughs, and moves to deposit me on the sofa, but trips over the footstool I rested my feet on last night and winds up half falling. We land in a breathless heap, him on top of me. For a second I realise how close we are, I can feel his breath on my cheek. I get the strange and uncontrollable desire to kiss him there and then. We move closer, centimetre by centimetre, neither of us really sure. My brain is screaming at me. I can't do this! He's my CO! But my brain is kicked into silence as my hormones take control, and our lips meet. It was one of the nicest kisses I've ever received. I can taste my mint toothpaste on his breath. We break away after a few seconds.
"You used my toothpaste." I say, not able to think of anything else. He smiles and moves to kiss me again, and this time my brain manages to get control. I tilt my face away. "Jack, we can't." I say. I can hear the pain in my own voice. I don't want to say it anymore than he want's to hear it, but we can't do this. It's against regulations, for a start. He pulls away from me for a second, and I look down at my scratched hands.
Jack
"Jack, we can't." she says, as I move to kiss her again. After all this time, finally! We managed to do something, when both of us has no way to bluff out of it, like an alien virus, and both of us will remember it! But she won't let us do it again, and I know as well as she does that we can't. I pull away, my mind cursing everything for a second. Reckless words form on the tip of my tongue.
"Why not?" I ask. It's a simple enough question, and I should know the answer, or answers, but I want to hear them issued from her lips, because I feel for one glorious second, perhaps if we work them out together, we can find a way round the problems.
"Regulations." she says, looking at her battered hands.
"Screw regs," I say, "If I thought we could.... I'd resign tomorrow if I had to." I say, and I mean it. I have resigned once, but I knew it wouldn't count. But if we really did get together, than I would resign and try to get on the project as a special civilian, like Daniel. It would be worth a try, at least.
"Don't be daft, sir." she smiles. It's back to my title again.
"I'm not being daft, Sam. Retirement looms on the horizon anyway. I'm fifty, remember?" I say.
"Okay. Screwing regs," she says, the troubled look still on her face, "You're fifteen years older than me" There's no answer to that one, nothing can change that, "You have other commitments." she finishes.
"What other commitments?" I ask. Does my age really matter?
"Well for a start, you're still officially married, sir. And then there's that girl from Argos. And Laira on Eddora. Isn't she the mother of your child?" she says, her voice a monotone, almost as if the words hurt her as much as they do me. The last sentence especially blew holes in me. What if Laira had carried my child? She must have known. If she knew that, why wouldn't she come with me? My next words are as much thinking aloud as much as answering her questions.
"Sara and I signed the divorce papers three weeks ago." I say, That's why I've been crying over Charlie for the last three weeks. I think, "The girl on Argos? She's got a new man. And Laira? It was sort of an extended one night stand, looking back, I think. Even if we do have a child out there, she didn't want to come with me. She obviously can't care that much." I say.
"That's another reason, Jack," she says, "I can't... I mean, how can you explain away your relationship that easily. It can't have meant that much to you if you can just describe it like that, but you still lead her along. I couldn't face it if you did that to me. And I have commitments as well. Narim, I never really finished with him, totally. And Jollinar and her Martouf...." she trails off.
"You don't think I'd be committed enough?" I ask. She shakes her head.
"I didn't mean it like that. It's just, you seem to... rush into things without considering the outcome." she says. She has a valid point.
"Look Sam. You know how long I've wanted to do that? Since you walked into that briefing room and challenged me to an arm wrestle. I don't deny I rush into things, but you know that Tokra women, Freya, Anise, whoever the hell she is? Well, she tried to um... Well tried to make a move on me. And I sort of liked her, yeah. But I said no, emphatically. I said no because..."I can't finish this sentence, I can't. If I finish it, I could lose on of the most beautiful friendships I've ever had. "Because I didn't want to hurt you any more. Because I hurt you when I spent three months enjoying myself and you spent three months with little rest because you were trying to get me back. Because I hurt you so much on that undercover mission to root out the mole." I say, my voice almost cracking.
"You don't have to live in fear of hurting my feelings, Jack." she says, those words have done more damage than good.
"Oh, for cryin' out loud. Of course I do. Because when I hurt you, it hurts me as well. I feel really bad. It feels like I'm cheating on someone," I say hastily, "Oh Sam. What I mean to say is, if I thought there was the remotest possible chance of us ever... doing anything... then I would never have even thought about Laira, or Kinthia." I take one look at her face, and sigh. "I'd better be going. I expect your letter to transfer out of SG1 will be on my desk in the morning. Just do me one favour? See the doc. Please?" I say, as I stand up and reach for the handle of her front room. I could cry. What have I done? What have I DONE?!
She reaches up and stops my hand from turning the door knob.
"Did you really mean that?" she asks.
"Yes. Yes, yes, yes, YES!" I say. Of course I do. She stands up and pulls me to face her.
"Then perhaps I know a way where we can all live happily ever after." she says, and kisses me again. And this time, the earth really does seem to move.
Janet
I was just bandaging Major Sanders of SG11 up after a scrape off world, when the door swung open and two of my four most frequent patients appear. Possibly the man who receives the most injuries in the SGC seems unharmed, but the most sensible member of his team looks like a raw hamburger. I finish the bandage quickly and hand Sanders over to a nurse, and run over.
"Sam! What happened?" I ask.
"Major Carter decided to take on a gang of four thugs." says Colonel O'Neill. Hmm, interesting, she comes in on his arm rather than anyone else's.
"Four? Sam are you insane?" I ask.
"No, I only thought there was one of them." she grumbles. If I know her as well as I think I do, then the Colonel must have practically dragged her here.
"Come on. Let's check you over." I say, and lead her into a cubicle, drawing the curtains around us. "What happened?" I ask.
"I was walking back from Daniel's. He offered me a lift but I wanted to walk. A man grabbed me and told me to give him my purse. I told him to leave me alone. He tried to grab my purse so I hit him and tried to run for help. His three cronies grabbed me, and beat me up. Nothing else, they didn't try to rape me or anything. They didn't want anything but money."
"Okay. What did they hurt?"
"They jumped on my ribs, they jumped on my arm. They punched me in the face, they kicked me in the stomach." she says, counting them off on her fingers.
"Okay," I say again, "let's have a look."
I spend the next twenty minutes examining the bruises on her ribs and back, and on her arm. Then I do some X rays. She has a few cracked ribs, and a hairline fracture in her arm. I'm glad to see she's put it in a sling, or someone has.
"I guess I was pretty lucky." she says, ruefully as I plaster her arm.
"I think so. I wonder what you did to them." I reply.
"Hmm, they didn't get away without a few bruises, but nothing to brag about, I'm just glad I got away as relatively unscathed as I have." she says. I nod.
"Who put your arm in a sling?" I ask.
"Colonel O'Neill." she replies, "He came round with my jacket when I got back in. He got some ice for my eye, calmed me down." she grins. She watches my eyebrow shoot up, a mannerism I have adopted from Teal'c. She adds: "Janet, I came for some advice as well. You've served with the USAF for as long as I have. Have you ever heard of a CO and 2IC managing to have a successful relationship without destroying their working lives?" she asks. If it could my eyebrow would have shot off my face. Is she implying what I think she's implying?
"You've got to be joking." I whisper, glancing through a gap in the curtains at the colonel who is glaring ferociously at my student nurses.
"Janet! If a rumour like that gets out!" she whispers back., fiercely.
"I'm not going to start any rumours," I say back, "But are you saying that you and him have-"
"I'm not saying anything apart from what I've said. Well, have you?"
"No." I reply, sadly.
"Hmm." she says.
"Sam?" I say, "As you friend, are you seriously saying that your going out with your CO?"
"Maybe. I don't know." she says, with the suggestion of a smile.
"If Hammond finds out-" I begin.
"It'll be the end of both our careers. I know!" she finishes, "That's why I'm asking you advice. Do you know of anything like that at all?"
"No," I reply again, but something nags for my attention. "Hang on Sam! You know that AU Sam that came through the Quantum mirror?"
"How could I ever forget." she says.
"Well, she was Doctor Sam. Maybe, just maybe, if you resigned and re enrolled as a Special Civilian, then you'd be allowed to stay together. Or you could just transfer out of SG1."
"No, I don't want to transfer. I'd miss Daniel and Teal'c too much. And we'd never get any time together. And I'd be worried sick about him every time he had a mission."
"I don't know Sam. You'll have to think. But the General has a soft spot for that particular Colonel. As long as you come up with a plausible scheme, you might have more chance than most." I say.
"Well, thanks anyway, Jan. I'll let you know what happens." she replies.
"You'd better." I warn.
"Thanks!" she smiles and she leaves the infirmary with the Colonel. I take a deep breath. Whew! If this gets out then I win fifty pounds of Lieutenant Bates. He bet Daniel and Sam would get it together. But I'm not about to betray her trust. Sam and Jack will sort it out in their own way, in their own time.
Sam
I walked out of the infirmary with Jack, and we got into his car.
"Where now?" he asked.
"I think," I said slowly, "I think that we should go to Daniel and tell him what happened last night, and what's happened today."
So that's what we do, riding of in the car, with the sunroof open and the wind blowing through my hair. Maybe we won't last. Maybe we're fooling ourselves. But as I glance over to look at him, I know that I'm glad I made the decision I have.
Jack
She's looking at me, I can see her out of the corner of my eye. As the wind blows through my greying hair, I wonder if from now on in, the next fifty years are going to be this good.
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