Undead and not loving it
Undead and not loving it
by Deis
Title: Undead and not loving it
Author: Deis
Email: Deis@SunnydaleHighzzn.com
Category: Action/Adventure, Crossovers,Humor
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Season: 5
Crossover: X-Over with Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: minor character death
Status: Completed
Summary: SG-1 gate off world into a very human looking graveyard, then suspect that they aren't off-world after all!
Disclaimer: I have one thing to say about the whole SG-1 disclaimer bit 'i didn't do it' they aren't mine i didn't get money for this (but of-course if you wanna pay me for writing it...)
Author's notes: My second fanfic, so still waiting on peole e-mailing me telling me it's rubbish... Feedback welcome and no flames please!
Undead and not loving it!
"This is one of those usual boring exploration trips, sir," said Sam briefing Jack on the mission, as he was asleep during the briefing.
"Right," he replied, sleepily.
"The missions not for four hours, Jack, why don't you catch up on that sleep your depriving your self of?" suggesting Janet coming up to them as they walked through the corridors.
"It would be a good idea, sir," said Sam.
"Ok, ok, already I'll go catch up on my sleep!" said Jack.
He walked off leaving Sam and Janet walking down the corridors.
"I have never found it so hard to sleep!" thought Jack as he walked to his room, "Being a creature of the night is a pain in the ass!"
He went into his room and fell asleep on a chair.
In the mess hall.
"Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary about Jack?" asked Daniel, coming up to Sam and Janet.
"Yeah," said Sam, "He's been out of it a lot, but he's faster and stronger than he was before!" "It's not right," sad Janet, "I'll see if I can get him to take a medical when you come back from..."
"P3X529," said Sam, automatically.
"Medical? Jack?" asked Daniel; "You'll hardly ever find those two words in a sentence!"
"I'll make up some excuse..." said Janet, plotting.
"Right, anyways, I'd better go and wake Jack," said Daniel, "We need to get ready"
"Yeah the missions in an hour!" agreed Sam.
"See ya!" said Daniel, waking out of the mess hall.
"I'd better go and get ready too," said Sam.
"Right," said Janet, "Try and not to get hurt and watch Jack!" said Janet.
"If I were Jack I'd probably say 'what are you, my mother?'" said Sam smiling.
"Just be careful," said Janet as Sam followed in Daniel's direction.
"Jack?" asked Daniel knocking on his door, "Jack, get up!" Suddenly the door opened and Jack stood before Daniel looking like he'd been dragged through a bin backwards! "Daniel... What time is it?" he asked sleepily.
"Its 2pm," said Daniel, looking at his watch, "The missions in an hour, we need to get ready!"
"Right," said Jack, "Give me five minuets to wake up"
"Right, I'll wait here," replied Daniel as he closed the door. While Daniel was outside Jack went into his bathroom, turned on the tap and threw water all over his face.
"Whoa, that worked!" he muttered. He picked up a towel and dried his face and parts of now totally grey hair. He went back outside and found Daniel, leaning against the wall nearly sleeping.
"Hey wake up, Danny-boy!" said Jack giving him a little shove that nearly sent him flying! "Whoa, what're you trying to do; deck me?" asked Daniel.
"Just thought I'd give you a little shove to wake you up," Jack shrugged in reply.
"Felt like a push to me," said Daniel as the walked down the corridor. When they reached the changing rooms they found Teal`c, ready to get weapons.
"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, it is good to see you,"
"Good to see you too, Teal`c," Daniel said.
"How've ya been?" asked Jack.
"I have been well, O'Neill," relied Teal`c, "I will see you at the armoury."
"Let's hurry, eh?" asked Daniel.
"Why?" asked Jack.
"The M.A.L.P showed us the place where it landed was like a human graveyard!" said Daniel, sounding a bit high.
"Cool," said Jack, grabbing his stuff from his locker. Daniel was ready in no time, but Jack took his time just to annoy him.
"Jack, hurry up!" said Daniel, waiting impatiently.
"O.k, o.k I'm coming!" Jack shouted, through the changing rooms. He came out, strolling.
"Could you hurry up?" asked Daniel, "Honestly, if you went any slower you'd be going backwards!"
"I'm just trying to annoy you," said Jack, "And by the looks of it I'm succeeding!"
"Look we need to get our stuff and be in the gate room for ten minuets ago!" said Daniel, looking at his watch, "We're late, now!"
"Well we'd better hurry, then," said Jack running out the room.
"..." Daniel stood with his mouth open then, ran after Jack.
When they arrived in the Gate room, Sam and Teal`c were waiting patiently.
"What took you?" asked Sam, when they stopped.
"Jack took his time to annoy me!" said Daniel, resentfully.
"Did it work?" asked Sam playfully.
"Oh, yeah!" said Jack, grinning.
Then the gate started dialling out. After the gate finished dialling they walked on through the gate.
"Whoa!" said Daniel, when they got out the other side, "This does look like a graveyard!"
"Ya don't say!" said Jack, sarcastically.
"I meant it looks like one of our graveyards," said Daniel.
"I didn't know you owned a graveyard, Daniel!"
"Very funny, Jack," said Daniel.
"Gee," said Jack, "And I was being serous!" Sam snorted, in laughter.
"Well, let's get moving campers!" said Jack, following the path alongside the fence.
"Hmm," said Daniel.
"Hmm, what Daniel?" asked Jack.
"All the names on the headstones seam to be human!" he said, thoughtfully.
"Let's see," said Sam, bending down to get a better look, "He's right, sir. The one I'm looking at here was a person with the same name as my friend from collage!"
"And she's still around," asked Jack.
"No, she was killed in our third year!"
"Sorry," said Jack.
"It's alright," replied Sam.
"How'd she die?" asked Daniel.
"We don't know!" said Sam; "She was found with two puncture holes in her neck! The doctors said that someone must have stabbed her with a pitch fork!"
"Vampires!" muttered Jack, under his breath.
"What?"
"Nothing," said Jack, starting to walk again, "Let's go, campers!"
So they walked, and they walked, and after that, just for a change of pace, they walked some more!
"Does anyone else think we're going in circles?" asked Daniel.
"Yeah, we have been walking for a while, sir," said Sam.
"Indeed, O'Neill, we should conserve our energy," agreed Teal`c.
"Right, already, we kip here for the night," said Jack. When they set up camp Jack heard a noise.
"Did you hear that?" he asked.
"Nope," said Daniel pouring over a book as per usual.
"Carter?"
"No, sir."
"Hmm, I need to get my hearing checked," he muttered, "So, I'll take first watch, who's going second?"
"I will be second," said Teal`c stepping forward.
"Me third, then," said Sam.
"Last, but not least," said Daniel.
"Right then," said Jack as the rest of the group disappeared to their tents.
After a while Jack got bored, so he started to walk around the perimeter of the campsite. On the north of the site he saw a girl walking through the bushes nearby. He was about to shout to her when she was attacked. She fought the guy that came at her, she gave him a roundhouse kick, and he decked it. She pulled out a stake and stuck it in his heart. Jack watched as the guy turned to dust.
"The slayer!" said Jack, not thinking. She heard him and started running towards him.
Jack, being the manly guy that he was, ran back to camp. When he got there Teal`c was up and ready to go for second watch.
"O'Neil is something following you?" he asked getting his zat ready. "No I'm just jogging," said Jack hastily, hoping he'd lost her, "Nothing like a good jog!" Teal`c was however looking at something behind him. Jack turned round and saw the blonde that killed the other vamp. She used the same technique as she did on the vamp, which knocked him to the ground then pulled out a stake ready to shove in to his heart.
But Teal`c was there first. He fired his zat once then prepared to fire it again.
"Teal`c, no!" shouted Jack. Teal`c stopped just in time. He came over to Jack and helped him up, just as Daniel and Sam came out of their tents.
"What's all the noise about?" asked Daniel sleepily.
"O'Neil was attacked," said Teal`c.
"By who?" asked Sam.
"By her!" said Jack pointing to the girl who tried to stake him.
"You got beat up by a girl!" laughed Daniel.
"Shut up, Daniel," said Jack, quietly.
"Sorry," said Daniel.
"What are we going to do with her?" asked Sam.
"We could wait 'til she wakes up," suggested Daniel.
"No, then she'll go after Jack again," said Sam.
"She appeared to possess a great strength," said Teal`c.
"So tying her up won't do much good," said Daniel.
"Well if we hid Jack in one of the tents while she woke up, and told her you got away," said Sam, "Anyway why was she chasing you?"
"I dunno," said Jack, not convincingly.
"Well we might as well try Sam's plan," said Daniel.
"Yeah, and it'll give me an excuse to kip," said Jack yawning, as he walked off.
"Perhaps I should go as well," said Teal`c, "As I shot her."
"Yeah, that's a good idea, Teal`c," said Sam.
"See ya," waved Daniel.
Sam and Daniel didn't have to wait long; the girl woke up pretty fast!
"Whoa," she said as she got up, "Where am I?"
"You're in a graveyard," said Sam, "We found you and brought you here,"
"Thanks," she said standing up, "By the way my name's Buffy!" "Right, my name's Daniel, and this is Sam," he said.
"Hi, nice to meet you," said Sam.
"Hey, did you see a guy with grey hair and a green jacket and pants?" asked Buffy, then she noticed what they were wearing, "Hey you're with that guy as well!"
"No we're not," said Daniel, "Well we were but he want crazy and we're here to get him!"
"Oh, ok," said Buffy, "Well you should know there was another guy, big, black and he had this thing on his forehead!"
"All right," said Sam, "Thanks,"
"I've got to go," said Buffy, "Bye!"
"Bye," said Sam and Daniel waving.
Buffy's view.
"Whoa those guys were weird!" said Buffy as she walked up towards Giles' house. She knocked on the door.
'Giles always is up at this time,' thought Buffy, but no one answered. Buffy, being impatient opened the door and walked inside.
"Giles?" she called, "Giles?" She walked around, and then remembered that he would be at the magic shop.
She walked out closing the door behind her. She went to the magic shop and ran inside, where she found the whole gang!
"Hey, guys what's going on?" she asked.
"Researching demons," said Xander looking over a book.
"Do I need glasses or is Xander looking at a book?" asked Buffy, sarcastically.
"Buffy you wanted to see me?" asked Giles'.
"Yeah, how'd you guess?" she asked.
"You said earlier you'd only come to see me if anything happened," said Giles' holding a book.
"Yeah, I was patrolling, as per usual, I killed this vamp, and I heard someone saying 'the slayer'," said Buffy pausing, "So I looked up and saw this vamp watching me, but he looked about forty!"
"Vampires can be older than twenty-five, Buffy," said Giles.
"Right, but he looked like he was an army guy, and plus I got the vampire sense around him, but it was different, like he had a soul!" she said shocking everyone.
"Really?" asked Willow, "Cuz that would be cool!"
"Uh-hu," said Xander.
"So I followed him, and this other big guy come out of a tent and fires this weapon on me!" said Buffy, "It felt like a blast of electricity! And the big guy had this symbol on his forehead! It was like it was melted on to his head!"
"Yuk!" said Willow, flinching.
"That's common among these guys called Goa'uld!" said Anya.
"I've never heard of Goa'uld!" said Giles, "What are they?"
"They're a race of parasites! They look like snakes! They inhabit human hosts by going through the neck and the attach to one of the brain cords to control the body," said Anya, "They like to impersonate gods, especially Egyptian gods!"
"Are they all evil?" asked Tara.
"No only the ones that impersonate gods are evil! There's another race called Tok'ra who are fighting against the Goa'uld."
"So you think this big guy could be one of them?" asked Buffy.
"No, I think he could be one of their slaves!"
"Right, but which Goa'uld?" asked Xander.
"Your presuming there's a lot of them?"
"Why not, Buff, I mean there are lots of the same species of demon that don't kill each other!"
"Yeah, but there's a lot that do!"
"Actually your both right!" said Anya.
"The goa'uld kill each other off! Unless they make treaties with each other! Anyway, what symbol was it?"
"It looked like this," said Buffy grabbing a piece of paper and a pen off the table, and then drawing a symbol on it.
"It was this one," she said handing it to Anya.
"Hmm, this looks like Apophis' symbol," said Anya.
"A-who?" asked Xander.
"Apophis, the serpent god," said Anya.
"How'd you know all about the Goa'uld, anyway?" asked Giles.
"Well, I used to date one," said Anya, "And I didn't have a choice!"
"How couldn't you have a choice?" asked Xander.
"Because I was a host to one!"
"What?" said Giles.
"Yep, but it's amazing that I survived It!" said Anya.
"How?" asked Buffy.
"Well my Goa'uld went to this planet and there was this thing just in front of the Stargate..." said Anya.
"Hold on," said Xander, "What's a Stargate?" "It's a metal ring made of naquadah, which is a type of metal that the Goa'uld have in their blood stream, that can be made to travel to different planets!"
"Right," muttered Buffy, "And the band played 'believe it if you like!'"
"Anyway the thing beamed me up to this room, and this guy appeared and told me to get out I'd have to find my way through a labyrinth!"
"So I take it you did?" asked Xander.
"Yes, I did," replied Anya.
"So, were you a demon at that time, or were you still human?" asked Willow.
"I was still human; you see it was really the Goa'uld's fault that I became a wish demon!"
"How?" asked Xander, anxious to know.
"Well, you see when I was twenty a Goa'uld called Ptah came to earth looking for a 'host' for his mate Sekhmet," paused Anya, taking a breath, "He came to the village, where I lived and took me, out of all the girls in the village!"
"Just goes to prove that I have good taste in women!" said Xander, proudly.
"Anyway, he took me to this chamber and I was knocked unconscious. And when I woke up I wasn't in control of my body, it was like being possessed, only no exorcist could rid me of the symbiot." "I presume that's the name if the parasite that infested you're body?" asked Giles.
"Yes, that's the name. Anyway, the parasite made me do horrible, horrible things," said Anya, "It wiped out millions of civilizations with its advanced technology!"
"And then?" asked Buffy.
"It went to the planet I told you about," said Anya.
"Do you know if Ptah is still around?" asked Xander, casually.
"Yes, but..." started Anya, then reading the look on his face said, "You are not even gonna try it!"
"Try what?" asked Xander, innocently.
"Xander, Goa'uld's have increased strength and since they have naquadah in their blood, they can use very advanced weapons that we can't!" said Anya, seriously.
"Anyway, how's it Ptah's fault that you were a vengeance demon?" asked Willow.
"It's his fault 'cause, well, when you became a Goa'uld what the Goa'uld feel's you fell, so..."
"You must have loved Ptah, as well!" said Buffy, reading her look.
"Yeah, and then when I was separated from my Goa'uld, I still had feeling's for him, and I was mad at him for sending me to that planet!" said Anya.
"So you cast a spell to get vengeance on him, and D'Hoffren appeared before you and offered you to be a vengeance demon?" guessed Willow.
"And I took up on his offer!" said Anya.
"Listen this is all very touching, but I'm thinking I should find this vamp with a soul and his, em, what did you call him?" asked Buffy.
"Jaffa," said Anya.
"Right, a vampire with a soul and his Jaffa!" mused Buffy.
"Well, Buffy you, go find these two and well,"
"Kill them!" said Anya.
"Why?"
"It's a vampire and a Jaffa, and where there's a Jaffa there's always a Goa'uld!"
"Ok, but I'll interrogate them first!" said Buffy as she walked out if the shop.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Deis
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