Eurydice Ascending
Eurydice Ascending
by C. L. Kamnikar
TITLE: Eurydice Ascending
AUTHOR: C. L. Kamnikar
EMAIL:kikimariposa@prodigy.net
DATE: 12-20-99
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolos; all others, please ask first.
CATEGORY: AU; drama/action/angst/romance (Daniel/Sha'uri)
SPOILERS: Up through third season's "Forever and A Day" -- at least, the first five minutes of that episode. After that, it takes a sharp left turn at Reality as we know it and goes somewhere else.
RATING: PG-13/R, for some disturbing (but not graphic) violence and language.
SUMMARY: If the opening scene of "Forever and A Day" was deflected through a quantum mirror, the consequences for Daniel, Sha'uri, and the rest of the SGC might look something like this....
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/ Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to: Lizbet and Celli for reading and liking, and Vanessa and Ruth for directions to sgfic and how to post. Feedback and beta'ing kudos to Cath (for helping me untangle some plots, and letting me steal her best lines), Perri (for helping me tangle plot lines like taffy), Dianne (for enthusiasm for something she didn't even know!), and Dawn (for in-depth examinations and plot-hole divination). Extra thanks to everyone else who commented on sgfic, and to Sting --- for "Desert Rose," the perfect Daniel-Sha'uri song. Comments appreciated! --- and Jack might even buy you a beer. You never know.
Sha'uri:
~Where are we?~
I gasped as we came through the Chappa'ai, breathing in cold, spicy air, so very different from my home. And very different from the room in the fortress we had just left, as well; open and green, with horizons that stretched up to mountain peaks that awed me, despite how much I had seen since I was taken from Abydos. For two moments I was able to look around this new world, while Amonet loosened the bonds on our wrists. Then she turned to Dan'yel, shoving him down the steps of the platform in a rage before pushing away his friend, who staggered backward and almost fell as well. A snarl curved Amonet's lips while curses formed in her mind, but she did not have time to hurl any of her threats at my husband.
A humming had been rising in the air, growing louder and more noticeable by the moment--- and for the first time since Dan'yel rescued me and kidnapped Amonet, the demon who resided within my body was afraid. She turned toward the sound, and we saw a tall stone monument that had been set before the dais of the Chappa'ai, which was now vibrating with energy. The jewel fixed into the top of the stone glowed white-hot, as if alive.
"No!" Amonet tried to back away, stumbling, then fell as shining blue light shot from the stone, enveloping our body in a power that seemed to burn inside us. The tone rose higher, to the point of pain, and the light blinded me as the demon inside of my body howled.
The last thing I heard as that place disappeared was Dan'yel's anguished voice: "I'm sorry, Sha'uri--- I'll come for you, I swear---" And then the dark closed in.
We were alone when I awakened sometime later, in an unfamiliar place. I could hear Amonet crying in my mind, still weak with what the light had done to her. For once the pain was hers alone, and not mine to endure. It would fade soon enough, and she would have control over my body again. I opened and closed my hands, then staggered to my feet, enjoying the brief feeling of being normal, and human.
The light--- a transport device? Amonet and Apophis used such things often--- had left us in the dark, and shivering. Rock walls surrounded us, the sound of water dripping echoed somewhere far away, and a chill breeze blew through an unlit corridor that looked nothing like the fortress of my husband's people.
Abruptly, Amonet was present in my mind, still in pain, but taking out her rage on me in spite of it. ~We could be anywhere!~ Amonet shrieked. ~Your accursed husband has stranded us in a tomb!~
Before I could begin a retort, the sound of a horn trumpeted through the cavern, and a light blazed, filling the space before us. White and clear, the light contained the unfamiliar form of a mighty warrior, at least three hands taller than myself, wearing shining white-and-silver mail. Not one of my husband's people, then: the Taur'i usually prefer uniforms that blend with whatever landscape they are in. It seemed to be one of the light-bodies that the Goa'uld used to talk to each other over long distances, as if the reflection in water were captured and sent far away. I did not recognize the man, or his armor, but Amonet flinched, muttering, ~Asgard. No! I will not endure this!~
~Who?~ I asked her, and before the being within me could answer, the warrior's reflection spoke.
"I am Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet. The High Council of Asgard has designated Cimmeria a safe world for developing sentient species, by order four-zero-point-seven-three-point-seven. The Goa'uld System Lords were so informed." The man's tone was grim, and though I did not understand the meaning of all of his words, they filled the worm who had invaded me with horror, and for that alone I was glad. "You were warned not to come here under pain of death."
"No!" Amonet screamed wildly. "I did not--- I was *brought* here, I will leave---"
"For crimes agains the living host, and all those you have murdered and enslaved, the sentence is death." The image smiled in dark triumph, and my sullen joy turned to fear as sharp as Amonet's.
"No!" ~Dan'yel, where have you trapped us? What have you *done*---~
"This is your prison. Your technology will not function here." We had brought none in any case. Dan'yel's friend Carter had taken the ribbon device that Amonet had turned on my husband. "There are no luxuries, no worshippers, no slaves to do your will. Only basic sustenance... and time."
Shocked, Amonet and I stared at Thor in mute disbelief.
"When you tire of this existence, go to the Hall of Molnir, and face the Hammer." He held out his own weapon, carved in the same fashion as the monument in front of the Chappa'ai. "There is no escape. Only the host may leave this place alive."
With a last cold nod, and a flourish of horns, the warrior disappeared, leaving us in darkness again.
~I would be free...?~
~Never!~ Amonet screamed internally, then spoke aloud. "Never. Do you understand? I will never submit! I am Amonet-Ra, wife of Apophis, daughter of Amon, ruler of a thousand peoples! I will *never* allow myself to be slain, not while I possess the strength to prevent it! Your Dan'yel will have to kill us himself, for I will never willingly forsake this plane of existence!"
~No!~ I screamed back at her. Ruthlessly, she pushed aside my soul, as she had a thousand times before.
And as a thousand times before, I hid in the shadows of my self, unable to stop her from doing as she pleased. But this time--- this time!--- I had hope. Dan'yel had delivered me to a battlefield which Amonet could not escape. It now remained for me to slay her. Finally, after so long, a way to end my enslavement was in my hands.
If only I could find the strength to do it.
Daniel:
I was supposed to go *with* her. It wasn't supposed to be this way, with Sha'uri there alone, and us here. I was supposed to be with her when she faced the Hammer. Oh, God....
"Daniel?"
I turned to Sam, not really seeing her, still hearing Sha'uri screaming in the back of my mind. ~Damn it. Damn, damn, damn.~ Amonet got her wrists untied much quicker than I'd expected she would, and then she was pushing me down the stairs and shoving Sam away--- and before I could even yell the light hit her and she was screaming. Screaming in agony, and then gone. ~Nice work, Dr. Jackson. Sha'uri's on her own now, all alone with that *thing* in her head--- she'll be scared, confused, and Amonet won't give up easily. She's not going to just let Sha'uri go---~
"Daniel, I know you're upset, but she'll be okay. She *will*. We'll just hike to the labyrinth, and go in the exit door like we did last time, and I swear, she'll be okay until we get there." The concern on Carter's face was all for me, not Sha'uri. And since Sam doesn't lie just to comfort people and she's lousy at covering up how she feels, I knew she really believed that my wife was going to be fine.
It didn't help even a little.
"You can't know that, Sam." She was dragging me off the steps, down toward the group of people who were approaching us. Smart Sam. I probably would've stood there like an idiot for another week, waiting for Sha'uri to reappear and cursing myself for not tying the knots tighter. ~Should've gotten Jack to do it. There's no way he's ever tied a knot anyone could get out of. I should've thought of that....~
"Unas is gone, there's plenty of water in the cave, there's nothing there to hurt her. Amonet can't go anywhere, Daniel. We'll have plenty of time to help Sha'uri and take her through the Hammer after we get there."
My head was telling me Sam was right. The Goa'uld that had lived in the labyrinth for hundreds of years was dead, and the maze that Sha'uri faced didn't hold any other terrors, except maybe the possibility of starvation. We'd be there in a day, a day and a half at most, long before there was any danger of that. There *was* plenty of water there. ~She'll be fine. She'll be okay.~
And the instant that I tried to say that out loud, I imagined five different scenarios where she woke up hurt, or was attacked by the Cimmerian version of a mountain lion, or where the water in the cave had dried up, or Amonet started torturing her for fun.... Sometimes having a good imagination is not all it's cracked up to be.
My gut was flat-out not buying any of this. Understandably; look what happened the last time I let Sha'uri out of my sight. My heart just wanted her back and couldn't bear being separated from her again, not after we'd just found her. Sam could talk until Jack O'Neill wore a tutu, and it still wouldn't stop the sick feeling in my stomach.
Sam knew I wasn't actually getting this, I could tell, so she turned away from me with an almost-inaudible sigh to greet the group approaching the Stargate dais. "Gairwyn! It's good to see you!"
"As it is good to see you also, Major Carter. Dr. Jackson." I nodded back to the Cimmerians' leader, my mind still a hundred miles away with Sha'uri, hoping she was okay, hoping that she wasn't suffering too much.... "Where are Colonel O'Neill and your friend Teal'c?"
"They... had to stay on Earth. The Colonel had some official business to take care of," Sam answered, looking guilty. I snorted, and she sent me a sharp glance, then turned back to smile at Gairwyn again. ~Official business. A possible court-martial, yeah, that's official...~ I just hoped that Jack didn't have to actually face a military tribunal before we got back with Sha'uri. Colonel Kennedy had looked pretty annoyed, the last glimpse I'd gotten of him before Sam and I pulled Amonet through the Stargate.
"Olaf said that someone who came through the Ring with you was removed by the Hammer. Who did you bring here? Was it another mistake, as it was on your first visit?"
"Actually, it wasn't a mistake." Sam looked at me again, gauging my reactions, probably. Seeing if I was about to lose it? ~No fear, Sam. I can't afford it now. Sha'uri needs me.~ Whatever she saw was enough for her continue explaining, "Dr. Jackson's wife was possessed by a Goa'uld, and we wanted to remove it. We meant to go with her, but the beam came and went too quickly for us to do so. We're going to need a guide to help us get back up to the mountains, to the labyrinth Kendra took us to when we first visited Cimmeria."
Gairwyn was frowning in concern, glancing between me and Sam and shaking her head as my breath caught in my chest. "None of us have been to the labyrinth, as you have. One of us could guide you up the mountain, but not to the maze itself---"
"That's okay. Daniel and I can probably remember enough to get us the rest of the way, if someone can just take us up the first part," Sam said firmly.
Gairwyn is one of the toughest and most honorable people we've come across on our trips through the 'gate. She's not just an ally, but a friend. But I had to actively remind myself of this, hanging on to all we'd been through with her, in order to be able to believe that she wouldn't let us down when we needed her help.
She didn't disappoint me. "I would be honored to guide you, Major Carter. After the help your people gave us in defeating Herut-Ur, it is the least I can do."
"Thanks, Gairwyn." I smiled gratefully at her, then looked around the clearing in front of the 'gate, studying the trails up the mountain. "We'll just wait here for you to get some supplies before we get going. "
But she shook her head, apology on her sharply-cut features as she gestured at the sky. "I am afraid we will have to wait until morning, Dr. Jackson. The sun will set in less than an hour, and to start up the trail at night in winter would mean death for all of us."
"Tomorrow! No, no no no, you don't understand! We can't leave tomorrow, Sha'uri's waiting for us, she's all by herself up there---" Winter? God, it was spring on Abydos when we left, and early autumn on Earth. Not to mention early morning --- I never considered the time changes, or climate problems. She couldn't be serious, we couldn't wait that long, Sha'uri needed us *now*---
"Daniel, calm down! Please, just take a second and think about this, okay?" Sam wasn't letting go of my arm, otherwise I'd have been up the nearest trail and off toward the mountains on my own. Jack would've applauded her technique. "If we get lost in the mountains, it'll take that much longer to reach the maze. We can't see landmarks in the dark, and it's only a ten-hour delay. Nothing's going to happen in ten hours. It's a twenty-four hour hike in summer, and it'll take even longer now. The last thing we want to do is start it in the dark." Sam tightened her grasp on me, tugging on my arm and forcing me to look her in the face. "Daniel, it's going to be okay. I promise."
"You can't know---"
"Maybe not," Sam cut in on me, then her voice gentled. "But I'm betting on Sha'uri. If she loves you half as much as you love her, she'll manage to hang on until we get there. You have to have faith in that."
Faith. I've got a lot of experience with hope, I've been living on it for two and a half years; but it's not the same thing. I don't have any faith anymore; I've used mine up believing we'd find Sha'uri, that we'd get this far, that someday I'd get the chance to get her back.
Now that it's out of my hands, I'm terrified of losing her, of having her slip out of my grasp. Back into the hell she's inhabited for the last two years.
I wish Sam weren't right. I wish that running off into the night would actually accomplish something. It won't, though. I have to wait for sunrise, and then Gairwyn's going to guide us up the trail, and Sam and I are going to have to make our way across the mountain, find the path we took with Kendra over a year ago, and get to the labyrinth before anything terrible can happen to Sha'uri. And pray that Amonet won't prevent her from ever coming back before we find the maze.
~Hang on, Sha'uri. Just hang on. We can bring you back, if you just hang on....~
Jack:
I'd like to blame Daniel for this mess, but the truth is that I walked into it under my own power: eyes wide open, putting my foot on the trap door, then pulling the switch without flinching. I could've said no when Carter asked me to help. I could've let Sha'uri be turned over to Kennedy when he first started talking about taking her back to the Pentagon. I could've done a million other things, but I chose not to. And it wasn't just because Daniel's a friend, or because I couldn't help thinking that if we ever found Skaara, I'd end up doing the same thing. Those were reasons. Those were good reasons. But I didn't do this for good reasons.
No, the real reason I am currently flirting with career meltdown is because Colonel Algernon Kennedy is a uptight, rigid, self-righteous, narrow-minded, sanctimonious, second-guessing, desk-flying, regulation-quoting, control-freak of an asshole.
Wait. I take it back. That is a good reason to be doing this.
"Colonel O'Neill, do you mean to tell me that you didn't realize that Major Carter wasn't inputting the coordinates for SG-4's next trip through the Stargate until she and Dr. Jackson appeared in the Gate Room? How is that *possible*?" Kennedy's nostrils were flaring like he was trying to widen his face just using the muscles in his nose; even if he succeeded, it's still wasn't going to make him any more impressive. Not to me, anyway.
It was sheer bad luck this geek had been touring the facility for the numbers-crunchers back in D.C. when we brought Amonet back from P8X872. He'd practically done a little happy dance in the Briefing Room when we explained who she was; I had to keep kicking Daniel under the table to stop him from going for Kennedy's throat.
"With all due respect, sir---" General Hammond's eyes narrowed, and I moderated my tone so that I didn't sound like I meant the exact opposite of what that phrase implied. No reason to give them any more ammo against me. "There are millions of combinations for the 'gate. I've got maybe four of them memorized, and whatever Carter dialled wasn't one of them. That being the case, I just assumed that she was doing as Major Ramiros requested, and checking the coordinates for P2X344. I didn't have any reason to suspect anything strange was happening until Dr. Jackson appeared in the room with his wife."
"You mean the Goa'uld who is using his wife's body."
"Whatever." I shrugged. Amonet, Sha'uri; after they get back from Cimmeria the only one Kennedy will be talking to will be the one who married Daniel. Kennedy's just going to have to deal with that. "I agree with General Hammond. The most likely place for them to have gone is Cimmeria, where Dr. Jackson can send Sha'uri through Thor's Hammer, and have Amonet removed from her body. Too bad it doesn't do us much good, since we had that unfortunate little power surge after they went through the 'gate, and we can't send another team through until it gets fixed. Probably not for a day or so, at least."
"Unfortunate. Conveniently unfortunate." Kennedy was working the eyebrows now; it didn't even come close to General Hammond or Bray'tac using the same look. I stifled a yawn as he droned on in outrage--- when anger looks boring on a person, you know, they _really_ need to get a personality. Or maybe a laugh track. "You ordered Lieutenant Simmons out of the control room shortly before this *unfortunate* occurrence. And you claim you're not responsible for it?"
"Of course I'm not." That would be the fault of the cup of coffee that was spilled into the main electrical outlet of the targeting computer and monitoring system, wiping the last few commands, just as Sam oh-so-casually speculated might happen if she left it there. Oops.
"And Major Ramiros now claims that though he believed you were the one ordering his team to the briefing room over the P.A. for a last-minute update, that he must have been mistaken. Especially since one of his people states that you were with her in the armory when he received the message." Hammond was giving me the fish-eye at this bit, looking for holes in the story and (I think) hoping not to find any.
"Airman Wensako seems to be pretty sure about that, sir." Of course, Kathy Wensako broke her watch on the last mission, and she owes Carter a big favor for helping her out with one of the lieutenants on SG-9; something about respect and a kneecap maneuver. I don't need to know about it. Or what Carter might have said to her to justify this before she split for Cimmeria with Daniel. Wensako just kept a straight face when I casually brought it up, and said that she knew I wouldn't disobey direct orders--- and that what I did about indirect orders was strictly at my discretion as a superior officer. "I couldn't be exact about the time myself, so I'll have to take her word for it."
"You don't expect me to buy this, do you?"
I met Kennedy's glare and smiled. "I would never sell you anything, Colonel." ~Or let you get your hands on it to be hauled away for dissection and interrogation, you self-important sonuvabitch.~
"Amonet _could_ hold the key to Earth's defenses from the System Lords, as I'm sure you're aware, Colonel. Your actions in this little debacle will come under the closest scrutiny---"
"Amonet's been a minor lord since Apophis was captured last year, and you know it. She doesn't know anything of strategic importance, and even if she did, there wouldn't be any reason for her to share. We never had any orders to turn her over to you." Not yet, we didn't. But they might have come through at any moment, and we all knew it. "So all this complaining about what they should've done instead of what they did is just a lot of hot air! Daniel's her husband, and he'd be her legal guardian if she were ruled unfit to take care of herself. If he wanted to take her to Abydos or Cimmeria or the other side of the galaxy, there's no court in the country that would say he couldn't do it."
"Except it would never get to court, O'Neill. Not when the Stargate is under the national security measures that keep it classified top secret."
"And that's the only reason you ever would've been able to take her out of this facility and turn her over to your N.I.D. and C.I.A. buddies."
"She's not a citizen of this country, or even this planet---"
Hammond finally had enough--- I could tell by the gun-barrel glare he turned on Kennedy at that last statement, which wasn't technically accurate anyway, given Sha'uri and Daniel's marriage. The General's a patriot, but no kind of chauvinist. He'd protect the rights of any Iraqi, Israeli, or Abydonian the same as if they were born in Washington D.C., and he's never been the one to go for the easy or convenient victories. One of the many reasons I respect the man.
"Colonel Kennedy, unless you wish to file formal charges against Colonel O'Neill -- which you have shown no grounds for at this time--- and until I hear otherwise from the Joint Chiefs, the matter of charges is closed! When the Stargate is operational again, we will search for Dr. Jackson and Major Carter and deal with the situation at that time. If you wish to file a complaint with the Secretary of Defense, I suggest you do so."
"Thank you, General. I'm going to do that now." Kennedy glared pointedly at me and I raised my eyebrows at him in a what-are-you-looking-at-me-for? response. Kennedy's lips thinned and he turned back to Hammond. "Don't think this will go unremarked by the Senate budget committee either, General. To have had a Goa'uld in our grasp, and then let her escape---"
Hammond cut him off without even looking at him. "You'll have to prove that there was any wrongdoing on the part of the SGC in the events that led up to such an incident, Colonel. Think very carefully about the accusations you'll be making when you submit that report."
Kennedy stormed out without saying anything else. Even leaving a room, he's boring. ~Maybe if we gave him a funny hat....~
"How much trouble can he start?" I asked aloud.
Hammond rubbed a hand over his face, then glared at me. "Enough. This expedition couldn't have waited another 24 hours until the Goa'uld killing devices arrived from the Groom Lake facility? Dr. Fraiser could have justifed applying them using her overriding medical authority, and we wouldn't be dealing with Kennedy's objections."
"General, if we'd waited that long, he might have gotten his orders to take Sha'uri to Washington. Or to Nevada. Or who knows where else." I bit my tongue, and rocked back on my heels. "Not that I had anything to do with this. It was all Daniel's show." Daniel's a civilian. And if he gets Sha'uri back, anything Kennedy can do to him will seem worth it.
"And Major Carter?"
Carter's in a lot of trouble. No denying that. "I ordered her to help Daniel with Sha'uri as soon as we brought her back to the SGC. Clearly, she interpreted that to mean assisting Daniel in treating his wife. I'm sure she'll have a reasonable explanation for her actions when she returns."
"She'd better." Hammond tapped a pencil against his desk, then threw it down with a huff of frustration. "And they'd better come back with Sha'uri of Abydos, and not Amonet the Goa'uld System Lord. Because if this doesn't work, Colonel, there is no way that Kennedy is going to give the SGC a second chance to cure Dr. Jackson's wife. She'll be bundled up and taken away so fast that it'll make the Tollans' disappearing act look like a parade."
"Understood, sir." If it's Sha'uri who comes back through, Kennedy won't have anything special to claim for his paranoid colleagues back at the Pentagon--- just an Abydonian native with some Goa'uld memories, the same as Carter has. He'll still squawk, but he'll be stuck with it. If it's Amonet...
...if it's Amonet that the next SG team catches up with, then Daniel's going to get his heart broken again.
That Hammer of Thor's better still be working.
Sha'uri:
Dan'yel told me stories every night of our marriage. Alone in our tent on Abydos, listening to the sounds of the desert, he would tell of the world my people came from so long ago. Of the men who defeated the god Ra thousands of years in the past, driving him from Earth, and what might have been the truth or lies in that legend. I would close my eyes, and lay my head on his chest, feeling his fingers gently stroke my hair, and drink it all in, to dream of during the night. So many stories that there were even stories about storytellers, like Sheherazade and Odysseus, Coyote and Merlin. Dan'yel was my Taliesin, my Raven, my storyteller.
Neither of us knew enough, then, to wonder if more than just the stories of Ra were true. Not until the myths returned to Earth and Abydos, and took me with them.
Lovers lost and found wove their way through the tales Dan'yel told me. Eros fleeing Psyche, because she could not trust him. Theseus risking the labyrinth with Ariadne's help --- and then abandoning her. Isis searching the length of the Nile for Osiris, in order to reanimate his sundered flesh, but unable to complete her task.
And there was Persephone. Stolen by the god of the Dead (he who was both like and unlike my people's Osiris), she was separated from her mother and her world, forced to marry a stranger.... And now, in my blackest thoughts, in my most cowardly of hearts, I am afraid that Persephone was real. I am afraid that I am she. She never escaped the darkness, not truly. She was always compelled to return to her husband and king, and leave her home and the sunlight.
But here is where that story ends. If Hades died, Persephone would leave the underworld. I know this because Apophis is dead, and my mortal husband has come back for me. I refuse to stay in the dark. Even if I were Queen of the Dead, it would be nothing compared to being alive on Abydos with Dan'yel.
~You think that now,~ Amonet sneered at me. ~Have you forgotten so soon what it is to be queen? To have the power and luxuries that being my host affords you?~
~Power? I am powerless. Voiceless. Nothing, unless you allow it. Invisible, just a vessel for your evil ba`. Luxury? That I can not feel, or touch, or enjoy? You keep all pleasure for yourself. To me, you only allow pain.~ I smoldered in rage, two years of helpless anger coming to a boil. ~I *will* be rid of you, demon. Dan'yel will come to this place, and we will kill you, together. He has promised me! And he always keeps his promises!~
~Brave words. But they are only words. *This* is what matters!~
The sting of a poisonous sandcrawler was nothing as to the pain that went through me at that moment. How I could burn without a body, or scream without a voice, I do not know, but I did. It went on, and on... and then stopped, as I felt Amonet smile with my lips, and speak with my tongue. But her voice. Always, hers--- the reverberating and arrogant voice of a demon.
"You cower, as ever. Good. See that you remember what I can do to you."
She strode down the corridor to explore our prison, while I coiled in on myself, stifling all feeling of victory, so she could not sense it. ~Fool,~ I thought at her, but only audible to myself. ~*You* remember nothing.~
When first I became Amonet's host, I fought her. Every moment was a battle, a war for my own body. I could not have won under those conditions, I know that now. But I refused to give her peace, to let her sleep, to allow her any rest. If I was going to suffer, she would too. In retaliation, she found and used my sole weakness: Skaara. She told Klor-el to inflict horrible pain on his host, and they allowed my brother just enough freedom to scream aloud. I could not continue to fight her after the first time she did that. I could only hate.
~But Klor-el is not here. Skaara is not here. And when I know where this Hammer is--- when I know how to defeat you, demon--- we will have our battle. I swear it.~ The pain she had inflicted had been easy to withstand due long experience; agonizing, but bearable. I would bide my time. Wait until her guard was down, and then... then...
I brought my attention back to our surroundings, and saw light ahead of us, reflecting off water. Amonet stopped at the entrance to the chamber, lips thinning as she surveyed it with distaste. The Asgard had not been not lying: there were no amenities here, nothing of the Goa'uld's rich, sumptuous furnishings. There were not even carpets, or the simple hangings and decorations of my people. A low, rough ceiling, stone walls that may have been carved out with other rocks, and a large pool of clear water which welled from the floor greeted our eyes. A drop of water detached from the ceiling and fell into the pool with an echo that filled the silent room. Amonet was not impressed.
Once, I would have been, to see so much water so far above ground. Now I remained silent, remembering the wasteful fountains in the center of Apophis's court, as Amonet bent to the pool and drank thirstily. The dim light in the room seemed to come from small cracks running through the ceiling, but none were wide enough to have even slipped my hand through, could I have reached them. Which I could not have done--- all of them ran through the stone far above the pool, too far away even if the water had not also been a barrier. The demon drew back suddenly from the water with a gasp, and I brought my attention back to her shaking hands.
There were bones along the edges of the pool. Human, some of them. Others appeared to be the remains of Goa'ulds long dead. Dry, brittle with age, and shattered; something else had eaten them, after their deaths.
~This is what will happen if we remain here,~ I said silently. ~We'll become nothing more than bones in a cave, food for nightcrawlers and worms.~
"Instead of bones for the Asgard?" Amonet snarled aloud. "Live or die, we do it together, human. You have no life except through me, now." She rose, brushing off her robes, and turned to stalk back through the corridor. The hallway led to another open room, this one lit with lamps, instead of the uncertain sunlight (or moonlight? I did not know how long we had lain unconscious) filtering through stone in the water chamber. The lamps glowed from an unseen power source, like many Goa'uld devices did, but they did not look like Goa'uld work, being both simpler, and to my mind, more pleasing than that of demons. Neither did the carvings on the wall appear to be those worked by demonkind: a circling lizard, or maybe one of the dragons Dan'yel had described to me, worked around a tree, in infinite detail, with strange letterings surrounding it. Amonet flicked a glance at the picture and I could feel her jaw tighten. More water was trickling down the surface of the carved stone wall, draining down into a crack in the floor. ~We will not die of thirst here. There may even be fish in that pool. No matter when my Dan'yel comes, we will still be alive.~
"Believe that if you wish." Amonet turned away from the wall and strode down the hallway again. "I do not intend to be here when your precious Dan'yel arrives, if he ever does. I am going to leave this place long before then."
~If you can.~
"I will! This place has stood for thousands of years; the Asgard could not maintained it perfectly. There must be--- there *will* be--- a gap in their web. This trap will _not_ hold me for long, human. And then you will pay for your insolence in your brother's pain!"
~I have a name. I am Sha'uri.~
"You are *nothing*! Because I say you are nothing! Will you be si---"
It was Amonet, instead of I, who fell silent when she walked through the next doorway. We had found the Hall of Molnir: a carved hammer-head over the door opening to the outdoors made that much certain.
As did the rotting corpse on the floor next to it.
~Unas,~ Amonet thought frantically, frozen in place. ~Perhaps one of Sokar's followers....~
I stared in fascinated revulsion at the monstrous form collapsed next to the doorway. It had two arms and two legs, but there any resemblance to mankind ended. Its body was covered with dark, oily scales, its face knobbed and twisted with ridges like a lizard's. The arms seemed --- wrong; when I looked closer, I realized that the joints were not like a man's, and that the legs looked equally long and strange. Empty eye sockets stared at us sightlessly as insects buzzed around their feast.
~He is dead.~ Amonet's mental voice was flat with shock, and then it slowly grew stronger with malice. ~The Hammer killed him, as well as his host. As it would kill *both* of us. It will not simply kill me, Sha'uri. It will kill you also.~
~No,~ I whispered, certain she had to be wrong. Dan'yel would not bring me to a place that would cause me harm. He would not. Unless---
~Unless he did not know. He believed a story someone told him, and brought you here in vain hope of curing you. He is a fool, a fool married to a fool.~ Amonet's voice sharpened wickedly. ~Or perhaps he *did* know. Perhaps--- yes, I think it is so. Child, your husband has betrayed you.~
~He has *not*!~
~He has brought you here to die, along with me, and abandoned you. He has found a new wife. Perhaps even that Taur'i who came here with him, with the golden hair. You saw how fond of him she was---~
~LIAR!~ I screamed, turning inside myself, striking with non-existent fists at Amonet's voice, at the laughter she let bubble up and escape her to echo in the quiet of the room. ~You lie! Lies are all you know! Lies and malice! You are *jealous* that my husband lives, while yours is ashes!~
Amonet gasped on a breath she had drawn to laugh, choking, then she cursed me in fury. "Stupid, stupid, slut of a slave. You *will* pay for speaking of my husband so!"
Pain, the pain of shattered fingernails and broken bones stabbed through me, but I held on through it long enough to tell her, ~It is still the truth. And you are still as trapped as I am, Amonet!~
Then I fell back into the darkness, taking with me the harsh triumph of having caused her pain.
Sam:
I love Daniel like a brother--- and sadly enough, I usually like him more than I actually like Mark--- but if I had a couple of sleeping pills right now, I would shove them down his throat and pour enough water after them to drown him. I mean, it's been a day since we left the SGC and he hasn't had any coffee since then, and he's still vibrating! After a full day's worth of hiking, you'd think he'd be a *little* calmer, wouldn't you?
It's not like I don't sympathize with his frustration. I do. To be so close to something he's been working toward for so long; something that he's already lost *twice*... that has to be making him crazy. I just wish I had a bottle of Valium to medicate him with, for both our sakes. Or a nice, big rock, to whack him on the head, so he could relax and I could get some sleep. The Colonel would approve of that if he were here, I bet.
Every once in a while I realize that Jack O'Neill is not necessarily the ideal role model I could have in a commanding officer.
But then, the ideal role model wouldn't have bollixed up the 'gate as soon as we went through it. If he hadn't, there'd already be another team here looking for me and Daniel and Sha'uri. Since there isn't, the Colonel must have succeeded, which means that we've got a head start on getting to Sha'uri. Q.E.D. Go, team.
I really hope he isn't in too much trouble for that. And that Kathy Wensako managed to give him something like an alibi, like she said she would. It pays to remember who owes you favors when you're about to set yourself up for charges of misconduct and kidnapping. Or maybe they'll look at taking Sha'uri through the Stargate as theft? Stealing classified material, maybe? Whatever word Kennedy decides to apply, I'm going to be the one facing the worst of it. Daniel's a civilian, and I'm pretty sure they can't prove anything against the Colonel. Me, though--- well, I can kiss ever making Lieutenant Colonel good-bye. They might even make me resign my commission, if they don't out-and-out kick me out of the USAF.
The funny thing is, I don't care. It was worth it. Or it will be, once Sha'uri is herself again.
Daniel asked me why I did it while we were eating dinner. "You could have just let me take her through the 'gate alone---"
"And they would have re-dialled and gone through the wormhole two seconds after you did. Not to mention throwing *me* in the detention cell that Amonet had just vacated. You'd be having dinner with Colonel Makepeace or one of Colonel Kennedy's NID cronies right now if I hadn't volunteered to help. And if that had happened, you know they'd break the Hammer when they got to the maze just like we had to, that first time we came to Cimmeria. Then Sha'uri would have no chance at all."
"Yeah," Daniel admitted, stirring the ashes around the edges of the fire. Gairwyn brought along the equivalent of Cimmerian potatoes and some dried meat and cheese for the trip. They taste a lot better than MRE's, and we need to conserve our supplies anyway. Daniel and I only had time to grab our standard packs before we broke Sha'uri out of her cell, so we have to be careful. "But I don't like that you're going to get in trouble for me."
"You *and* Sha'uri, Daniel. And I know you'd do the same for me." I tested the temperature of the stuff that Gairwyn had bubbling in a little pot over the fire, and then slurped. Good food. It tastes like my grandmother's stew; maybe Gairwyn and she *are* related, somewhere a hundred generations back, like we speculated once. "I knew what I was doing, okay? And even if they do court-martial me, I'm not going to regret helping."
"You're sure about that?" Daniel was smiling a little, resting his chin on one pulled-up knee. "If Kennedy gets his way---"
"If Kennedy had gotten his way two years ago, Teal'c would have been dissected and experimented on until there was nothing left of him." I paused, then took one of the bowls that Gairwyn was handing me and ladled some stew into it. "And the same thing would have happened to me, only worse, if the Ash'rak hadn't tracked me down and made the whole argument moot."
"We wouldn't have let that happen," Daniel said instantly. "We would have figured something else out. Jack wouldn't have let N.I.D. take you away, and neither would the General."
"I know. I know you wouldn't have stopped trying." I glanced upward, watching the smoke spiral up to the peak of the hunter's lodge that Gairwyn had brought us to. I couldn't quite meet Daniel's eyes; remembering how helpless I was when Jolinar possessed me... is disturbing. Extremely disturbing. "But don't you see? There might not have been anything anyone could have done. The Hammer wasn't fixed yet, a year ago. We didn't have Machello's little Goa'uld-killers to use. If Kennedy or Maybourne or some other bureaucrat had decided I was going to serve my country as a lab rat, they'd have come into the SGC with outside personnel and dragged me out by my heels, and none of you could have stopped it." I brought my eyes back to Daniel, who was staring at me intently, and then shrugged, trying to be matter-of-fact. "I couldn't let that happen to Sha'uri."
"Thanks," he whispered, dropping his gaze back to the fire. "I still owe you, Sam...." His voice trailed off, and I knew he was thinking of all the nightmare what-if scenarios again. "I owe you big."
Gairwyn dished out some stew for him, then some for herself, sitting down next to me. "Your people do not know that you brought Dr. Jackson's wife here to be freed? And they would not like it if they knew? I do not understand. How could they wish anyone to remain possessed by an Etin?"
"Their priorities are... a little skewed." I took a bite of my Cimmerian potato, munching for a bit before going on. "They hoped to get information from the Etin inside of Sha'uri, but none of us --- Colonel Jackson, Teal'c, or me--- thought that they would succeed. We tried to tell the other... clan leader, I guess you'd call it... that it wouldn't work, but he didn't want to believe us. So Daniel and I had to be a bit sneaky in order to bring her here."
"*Very* sneaky," Daniel corrected me. "They know where we are, Gairwyn, but they can't come get us, not yet, anyway. Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter cooked up a plan to keep them away for a while." He put his spoon down, shaking his head. "And it would already be over, if she hadn't kicked me down the steps. Damnit."
"Daniel, don't start beating yourself up about that again. She surprised me with that move too, remember. She didn't escape the transport to the maze, and that's the important thing."
"Yeah."
"We will be at the pass early tomorrow morning; and from what you have said, even with the snows it should not take us more than another day's journey to reach this place," Gairwyn said comfortingly, then sighed. "I am only sorry that Kendra could not be here to make it with you. We lost so much when she was killed." She smiled at me. "Do you still have her healing gauntlet?"
"Yes, we do. I had to leave it on Earth, though. But it's come in handy since then. I'm still honored that you gave it to me."
"Who else could use it?" Gairwyn shrugged, and took another mouthful of stew.
"Sha'uri," Daniel said, staring into the fire. He turned to me, his eyes thoughtful. "She'll be able to do the things you can with the Goa'uld ribbon devices, if she makes it through this."
"*When* she makes it through this." I smiled at him encouragingly.
"When. Right. When." He shook his head, turning back to the fire. "I wonder what she'll think of that," he said softly.
"Your wife, Sha'uri --- is she a scholar also, Dr. Jackson? Or is she a warrior, like Samantha, and your friends O'Neill and Teal'c?"
"Ummm... " Daniel's eyes glazed and his mouth quirked upward. "Both, and neither, I guess. I mean, her people, the Abydonians, weren't able to use their written language again until recently, but she was studying their pictographs with me, before...." He ducked his head, and light glinted off his glasses for a second. "And Abydos doesn't have a formal army, either, but boy, could she get people going when she wanted to. She had their entire city up in arms to save me and Jack when we needed it. Not someone you want to have mad at you, believe me." His voice dropped down, grew huskier. "Mostly during our marriage, she was... gardening. Milling. She makes great yafetta bread. And weaving. She really loved that..." Daniel swallowed hard, and he took off his glasses, fiddling with them absently.
For as long as I've known Daniel, this had to be the longest speech I'd ever heard out of him about Sha'uri. I think it hurt too much to consider what he'd lost when she was captured; and everyone at the SGC knew the story, so no-one ever asked about her. We were all afraid of hurting Daniel any more than he'd already been hurt. None of us felt comfortable bringing her up. Colonel O'Neill might have known more about her than anyone else, but that's probably because he'd met her before, on that first mission; so Daniel could talk to him about Skaara and Sha'uri without having to explain so much.
I was sorry I hadn't asked about her sooner, and that it took Gairwyn to get Daniel to open up. "Daniel? That story that Colonel O'Neill told about how you and Sha'uri got married--- was any of that true?"
He grinned and put his glasses back on, laughing a little breathlessly. His voice was still tight, but he seemed to be okay with the question. "Well... It's like all of Jack's stories. About half true, and half... Jack. Umm, Sha'uri *was* a gift---"
"A thrall? You wife was given to you as a slave?" Gairwyn's brows came down in disapproval. "Cimmerians stopped allowing the practice of thralldom some time ago. Are things so very different at Midgard? I thought you said you abhorred slavery---"
"No! No, no. That's--- I'm telling this wrong." Daniel sat up straighter, his hands waving around like they do in the briefings where he passionately wants General Hammond to allow him to stay on some planet that the Colonel just as intensely wants us to skip going back to. I grinned and spooned up another bite of stew, remembering that Viking women went on raids with their husbands. // Careful, Daniel... //
"The first time we visited Abydos, they thought we were gods. Mostly because we came through the Circle, the Stargate, so they just assumed we were, the way half the people we meet seem to do. And I was wearing the symbol of Ra, their overlord --- it was a medallion that a friend had given me as a present." He shoved his glasses up and took another breath, while I listened in fascination.
"So Kasuf and his people were thinking we were there to choose slaves, and we had _no_ idea that's what was going through their heads. They threw a big feast for us, there was dancing, and the military team all had a great time. Meanwhile Jack was furious with me, because I hadn't found the seventh symbol on the Stargate Dial Home Device --- theirs was damaged--- and he was convinced his team was never going to make it back to Earth. I wasn't having a lot of fun, that first trip." Daniel paused to take a sip of water from his canteen, and wiped off his mouth.
"Anyway, the main point is, we were supposed to be *nice* to everyone, or we'd never be able to get back home, to Midgard. And we couldn't tell them we weren't gods, because I couldn't speak the language --- it had changed, over the centuries, the pronunciation shifted. I was trying to learn it as quickly as possible, but some things just weren't translating, because Ra had such a stranglehold on them that there were certain concepts that they just weren't allowed to know of, and they weren't allowed to write. All the questions I tried to ask about the Stargate were dead ends." He shook his head, and I remembered the fragment of his Abydonian diary I had read more than a year ago: "Colonel O'Neill thinks I'm a geek. I have no idea how to get us home. I'm never getting paid." And I suddenly wondered, I mean, *really* wondered: how did he go from desperately trying to return to Earth, to staying there and being happily married?
"Then Kasuf brought Sha'uri to me that night." It was hard to tell in the twilight, but I think Daniel was blushing. He was definitely avoiding looking at either me *or* Gairwyn. "At first, I had no idea what he had in mind. I thought she was there to clean the tent or something, after all these other native women had given me a bath...." I stifled a giggle and deliberately did _not_ look at Gairwyn. "But after he left, she started to take off her robe, and I--- well, I mean, of course I wasn't going to... you know."
"You know?" I blinked at him innocently, and he lifted his eyes long enough to glare at me.
"Yes, you do know, Sam. So just... let it go." He rolled his eyes and forged on grimly. I caught the tail end of a grin on Gairwyn's face. Sometimes Daniel is just too sweet. And soooo funny. "As I was saying... I tried to get her to leave, but Kasuf and the rest of the tribe --- her clan --- were waiting outside, and Kasuf thought that she'd offended me somehow. And Sha'uri was standing there looking fatally humiliated, so I... thanked him." He shrugged helplessly, and I clamped my jaw tight, feeling my nostrils flare with suppressed laughter. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but you have to hear Daniel explain it, with that look on his face.... "What else was I supposed to do? For all I knew, she was going to be whipped or banished or something for failing to please the god. I mean, I know Kasuf would never do that _now_, but I didn't even know him then..." He sighed heavily.
"So, Sha'uri came back into the tent, and after we introduced ourselves, I tried to explain how we got to Abydos, through the pyramid where the Stargate was... and she wouldn't look at the drawings. That's how forbidden writing was. I had no idea how to handle the situation. I gave up, I was just talking to myself, trying to figure out what to do, and when I turned around, Sha'uri had mimicked me--- and drawn the symbol for Earth in the sand. I asked her where she'd seen it. I couldn't believe we were finally getting a break on the language thing, and then she took me into the catacombs of the pyramid, where the writing hadn't been destroyed by Ra's people."
He was quiet for long seconds, caught up in memories. I don't think he even knew that Gairwyn and I were there any more. "We spent the whole night in the crypt, going over the writing. She taught me the verbal language, via the pictures, and I taught her the written version. It was... wonderful." Daniel smiled again, a smile I don't think I'd ever seen on his face. Or, no... he smiled that way the first time I met him. At Sha'uri, asking her to come over and meet us.
"I told her the whole story of how Ra brought her people to Abydos, and how he'd been defeated on Earth--- it was all right there on the walls. It finally all made *sense*: the Stargate, the Abydonians, the pyramids.... And Sha'uri was just as absorbed in it as I was...." He was quiet for several long moments, and then he softly said, "I think I fell in love with her that first night. Just... like that."
I couldn't think of anything to say. Maybe because what I was feeling most strongly right then was envy. How sick am I, hunh? Daniel's been through the worst kind of Hell hoping and looking for Sha'uri for all this time, and all I could think was that I never had anything that easy or sweet with any of the men I've fallen for. Not Jonas, or Martouf--- not even Nareem. Nareem came the closest, I guess --- but we both knew it couldn't last, and there were things he wouldn't, and couldn't, share with me.
I don't begrudge either Sha'uri or Daniel what they had together. What they hopefully will have again. But it makes me wonder if I'll ever find it myself.
"Later, some of the boys were teasing me about doing work that wasn't proper for a husband--- and that was when I clued in that we were married. I was shocked, believe me. But... happily shocked, I can admit that now." His voice dropped again, slowed with the memory. "She hadn't told them, that we hadn't... done anything. She was too embarrassed because she thought I didn't want her. I somehow managed to make it clear that I thought she was incredibly beautiful, but that she didn't *have* to be married to me, if she didn't want to be. And she said that she didn't want to *not* be married to me...."
Daniel shook his head, his eyes widening behind his glasses, and his mouth turned up ruefully. "We still had to fight Ra. So that conversation didn't go into in-depth plans for the future, but after she saved my life, and I saved hers, and Jack saved the whole world by blowing up Ra, we just accepted it. We were married. I was going to stay. Jack and the others went home to Earth, told them I was dead, and I had the best year of my entire life." He stopped speaking, seeming to just run out of words. But his eyes were looking at all those other memories, all the things that must have happened during that year on Abydos.
"And now you will have her back with you soon," Gairwyn said softly.
"Yes." Daniel's response was automatic, then stronger. "Yes. I will."
"It is good," Gairwyn said decisively, then sighed. "I understand how much this has pained you. I would give much to have my husband back also. But he is in Valhalla, and is no doubt saving a space for me at the drinking bench even now." Daniel stifled a laugh, and I couldn't quite hold back a smile. Gairwyn's own smile at us held little grief; mostly it was just wistful. "I was lucky to have had him for so long. Almost two decades.... It would be harder, if I had fewer memories of him to warm me. I think it is only right that your wife be given back to you. One year of marriage is too short."
"I've always thought so," Daniel said softly.
We bunked down not long after that. Gairwyn dropped off within minutes; she's one of those people who make you think of the adage about the just sleeping soundly. Daniel is still tossing and turning in his sleeping bag, but I think he's asleep now. He does this on some of the trips we take, when he's upset; I really should be used to it. I get the feeling he won't be able to rest quietly until Sha'uri is back with him.
And I'm stuck wide-awake, thinking of Gairwyn's husband, and Kendra, who died in the war that broke out when Herut-ur came to Cimmeria a year ago. Because we broke the Hammer, in order to get Teal'c out of the labyrinth, the year before that, and he thought Cimmeria was open for conquest again. How fair is it, that they had to die for our mistakes?
They weren't the only ones. I try to tell myself that we're doing only good at the SGC, but sometimes, we don't know what the hell we're doing at all. Look at Linea. We set free a killer, just because she was helpful and seemed harmless, and now she's out there, maybe plotting other ways to kill worlds, and it's because of us. Look at the population of P3JX343; we almost killed the whole planet with one of our gadgets, just because we had no idea how their biology worked.
I could go on and on; and for every bad example, there's a planet we've freed, or a population we've cured, or just one person who we've helped. The truth is, we're the only ones who *can* help, and we have to do it. We've got a responsibility to all of those people out there who the Goa'uld are suppressing.
And more than that... to step through the Stargate and not know exactly what's going to happen; to meet all these people who were once a part of Earth, and see what they've become, instead of the things we've become; and the outside chance we have of finding something as exciting as cold fusion, or matter conversion, or the interior of a black hole--- that's what makes this more than a job. More than a career, or a duty. It's the impossible made real, for me. It's all the dreams I had as a kid, and I get to make them happen.
But if I had to give it all up tomorrow, just to make sure that Daniel and Sha'uri got their happy ending.... then damnit, I can live with that. I'll miss it. I'll miss the excitement, and the discoveries, and I'll miss the people worst of all. But I'd still have them, in a way. They can't deny what I've done for the project, not at this point. And I won't miss being afraid, or feeling like the fate of the universe might depend on not making a simple mistake, or dealing with the Kennedys and Maybournes and Senator Kinseys. I'm not going to let men like those dictate my actions, or judge whether I'm right or wrong. I'm not going to deliberately make a disastrous mistake, just because they tell me to. Keeping Sha'uri locked up on Earth wouldn't do anyone any good.
And I couldn't live with myself if I let Daniel down. Not after all this time. Not when I know exactly what Sha'uri is going through.
I thought of Jolinar, and wondered if I'd dream her memories again; and I wondered if Sha'uri would already be dreaming of Amonet by the time we reached the labyrinth. When the second moon rose, I was already asleep, but the only thing I dreamed of was Colonel O'Neill, party hats, streamers, a gallon of ice cream, and Teal'c reciting "Jabberwocky" while Janet played the xylophone.
Some dreams don't bear too close an examination.
Teal'c:
Twenty-four hours after the computer which dials the Stargate was "crashed," the repairs have been completed on its targetting system. Colonel O'Neill is not happy. I believe this is largely due to the fact that Colonel Kennedy has finally obtained written orders from the Joint Chiefs of Staff for the capture of Daniel Jackson, Major Carter, and the Goa'uld System Lord Amonet. The repairs to the Stargate means that he will soon be sending SGC personnel in pursuit of them.
Colonel O'Neill does not like Colonel Kennedy, and has frequently said so in forceful terms. Most of the personnel at the SGC have also expressed a personal antipathy to the Pentagon liaison. I myself have no particularly strong feelings toward Colonel Kennedy, but he appears to bear some animus toward me, perhaps due to my assignment to SG-1 over his stated preferences two years ago. While I believe that he was only following the dictates of his conscience and expressing his loyalty to his military in seeking my transfer to his authority, I am of the opinion that his chain of reasoning at the time was flawed, as it is now. No purpose can be served by forcing Daniel Jackson's wife to remain a host to the Goa'uld.
But I must admit to a bias in this matter. It was I who chose Sha'uri for consideration as the host of Amonet. While Daniel Jackson has never borne me any ill-will because of this action--- and has even defended the choices I was forced to make as First Prime of Apophis in other matters--- it will be a great relief to me when she is restored to herself. It will not mitigate my actions, but it will give me peace to know that a wrong that I was responsible for has been corrected.
My own family and people are the underlying motivation for all of my actions with the Taur'i. If Ry'ac or Druy'ac were taken from me and placed in danger, I would search for them with the same dedication that Dr. Jackson has devoted to his quest. He deserves to achieve the goal he has sought since we first met. And I would not wish the fate of a Goa'uld host on any human being, much less any person that was as dear to my friend Daniel Jackson as his wife Sha'uri. I know what it is to bear the enemy inside of me; but I am fortunate enough not to be ruled by the larva within me. I only wish I could survive the death of the infant Goa'uld I carry, or I would cease to assist the System Lords even in this small thing. But while I may die when the Goa'uld matures and seeks a host, that is a small thing compared to centuries trapped with an alien mind directing my own.
Colonel O'Neill's feelings on this are even stronger and more partisan than my own, and he has not failed to share them, either.
"Look, the least you can do is let me and Teal'c go after them. Nobody'll get hurt that way---"
"Oh, no. No way, O'Neill. You've already made your position very clear. In the absence of Major Davis, I've got the direct authority of the JCS in this matter, so I'll be picking the team to go through the Stargate. Colonel Makepeace and SG-3 leave as soon they finish preparations, and that's final."
"General---"
"Colonel Kennedy's orders are very clear, Colonel O'Neill." The General was no happier about this fact than O'Neill. "So stop asking. What will be done with Dr. Jackson's wife when she returns from Cimmeria is still open for discussion, however," he added, directing a warning look at Colonel Kennedy. General Hammond is a fair and impartial commander, and he possesses the tenacity of a hundred lesser warriors. While he will not defy his superiors, I believe that he will do everything in his power to prevent Sha'uri from being taken from the SGC. We can only hope it will be enough.
As this was being discussed, Colonel Makepeace entered the briefing room appearing most perturbed, and saluted the General hurriedly before speaking. "Sir, I'm afraid that my team is unable to report for our assignment as planned. Lieutenant Gallegos is currently AWOL, sir."
"AWOL? You don't have any idea where he is?"
"No, sir. We've checked his home, his family's place, and a few of the local hospitals, but he's apparently disappeared without a trace." The Marine Colonel's expression was combined of equal parts worry, anger, and embarassment, as could be expected when one of his command was missing. "None of his teammates have seen him since 2200, when he checked out at the upper gate."
"Can't you just get a replacement and go through anyway?" Colonel Kennedy demanded, while O'Neill rocked back on his heels and smiled sardonically at me. I raised an eyebrow, but did nothing else to communicate that I was also glad of this small delay to the expedition.
"Gallegos was our team's specialist in the Cimmerian culture as well as our medical expert, so I can not consider my team fit for duty without him, sir. And no, a replacement on a mission of this kind would *not* be a good idea," Colonel Makepeace responded grimly. "Going into a situation where the local attitude could be antagonistic, against an enemy Goa'uld, however disarmed she may be, I'd want a functioning unit. It's going to have to be another team, General. I'm sorry."
"Not your fault, Colonel," the General said, shaking his head. "See that Lieutenant Gallegos reports to me when he's found. Dismissed."
"Yes, sir." Colonel Makepeace saluted and left the Briefing Room, and General Hammond pursed his lips in thought before speaking again.
"Some of our teams are off-planet, but there should be another group we can recall to active duty within the next few hours. I'll put in a call to SG-6 personnel. Meanwhile, we may want to check with SG-7, and see if they can do it. I know they're all still in the SGC; they're scheduled to give me an update on their Naquadah reactor experiments at 1100."
Colonel Kennedy frowned in irritation. "Why not order them up here now? If they're all inside the SGC, it'll be easier to order them off-planet than SG-6."
"SG-7 is Research, Colonel. SG-6 is Search and Rescue, they're a more appropriate team to assign to this mission." General Hammond's tone was mild, but something in his eyes, like a hawk watching a sparrow, warned of the possibility of attack should Colonel Kennedy make an error.
"I see your point, General, but this *is* of the utmost urgency." Colonel Kennedy turned to one of his attaches and said, "Have one of the Airmen locate SG-7 and bring them to the Briefing Room, please."
"Yes, sir."
O'Neill began to prowl the room after the attache' left, something which he does when he is prevented from taking other action, as a predator will pace its hunting grounds when there is no prey to be killed. "A couple hours isn't going to make a difference, Kennedy. If the Hammer on Cimmeria works like it did last time, Daniel and Sha'uri and Carter have already been in the maze, Sha'uri's not a Goa'uld any more, and they're probably half-way back to the 'gate. This is pointless!"
"And if it didn't work? And Dr. Jackson attempts to flee elsewhere with his wife?" Colonel Kennedy shook his head decisively. "No, Colonel. I intend to take every precaution to see that Amonet reaches the Pentagon, and doesn't go indefinitely 'missing' while her husband looks for a cure. My superiors want a a quick solution to this one, and that's what they're going to have."
"A quick solution may not be the correct one," I said evenly. "In time, the most equitable course of action may reveal itself."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Colonel Kennedy glared at me, leaning back in his chair. "Your first instincts are still to protect your former masters, even if you won't admit it. Pardon _me_ if I don't think waiting will solve anything."
"Kennedy---" O'Neill's voice dropped to a growl, and he took a step toward the other man. I sat as still as possible, controlling the irrational anger that rose in me at his accusations. He is entitled to his opinion. But that did not make listening to it any easier.
"Stand down, O'Neill. That's an order. And Kennedy, I don't think I like your tone." The General tapped his pen against the table, lowering his eyebrows sternly. "Teal'c has proven his loyalty to the SGC time and again. So you just swallow that attitude, mister--- I may have to follow the JCS orders, but I do not have to sit here and have you insult my soldiers. Understood?"
"Yes, sir." O'Neill was smiling as Colonel Kennedy squirmed in his chair and avoided looking in my direction. I felt my own tension ease at the General's words and O'Neill's support, and was again able to regard Colonel Kennedy without betraying my thoughts.
The attache' returned at that moment with one of the lieutenants from SG-7, a medium-tall brunette whom I had seen work with Major Carter on both the laboratory reactor experiments and on the Stargate programming. The name tag stitched upon her uniform read "Pierson", and she saluted the General with one hand and then took a long sip from her coffee mug with the other.
"You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Pierson, where's your commanding officer?" The General asked, looking confused. "Major Lamory should be reporting in, not you."
"He's in the middle of the experiment, sir, and he can't come up here. We're still compiling data and the energy-release from the reactor is ongoing, and he said to say that he doesn't want to miss anything in case it starts to go off in another direction. It did the *coolest* thing when we started to up the input from array, sir---"
"Lieutenant, whatever experiment your team is engaged in will have to be abandoned," Colonel Kennedy broke in. "Retrieving SG-1 from off-planet has become a priority, and---"
"Sir! No, sir! I mean..." Lieutenant Pierson's eyes widened as she shook her head frantically, looking from O'Neill to the General to myself. "We can't! That's why I'm here, and not the Major! Because Joel and Ric are both sacked out --- Ric is supposed to take over for me in another two hours, when my shift is over--- and the Major's been monitoring this for at least eighteen hours, sir, and if we abandon the experiment now we'll lose *all* of it, it'll be worthless, we'll have to start over from the beginning---"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lieutenant. Do us all a favor and slow down juuuust a microsecond, okay?" Colonel O'Neill shot a thoughtful look at the mug in the Lieutenant's hand. "Tell me something, Pierson. How long have *you* been awake?"
Pierson blinked at him, rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, then shrugged. "Uhh... what time is it, sir?"
"About 0900."
"Really? Wow. Approximately twenty-four hours, sir."
"Your entire team is either sleep-deprived or asleep?" Colonel Kennedy asked, aghast.
"Oh, no. The Major's fresh. He's good to go. And Ric will be fine in another two hours. He's always cool after his six-hour nap." Pierson took another sip from her mug, then added earnestly, "And I'm really okay too, sir, but we do have to finish this experiment. It's still got 72 hours to run, so if you'll excuse me, sir...."
"Thank you, Lieutenant. That will be all," General Hammond said, his mouth twitching. "Dismissed."
"Sir." Pierson saluted with the hand holding the mug this time, sloshing the liquid within it, then turned to leave, bumping into the door frame as she exited.
"And Pierson?" O'Neill called after her. "The decaff's in the orange pot."
"Decaff is for coffee wimps, sir!" she called back without stopping.
O'Neill shuddered, then turned to the General with a smile. "You'd think she was hanging around Danny-boy and not Carter, wouldn't you, General?"
"I really do have to talk to the Major about those experiment schedules again," the General replied, looking rueful. "Maybe see about getting some of SG-10 temporarily assigned to the lab..." He shook his head, then turned back to Colonel Kennedy. "It'll have to be SG-6, then. They're on stand-down, so we'll set mission briefing for 1100 and departure for 1130. As Colonel O'Neill said, a few hours shouldn't make any difference."
"Very well, General." Colonel Kennedy smiled tightly. Colonel O'Neill grimaced, then paced over to the window overlooking the Stargate, shoving his hands in his pockets. I took the opportunity to excuse myself, feeling that my continued presence was not contributing in a positive fashion to Colonel Kennedy's mood--- and feeling an urge to avoid the man's company.
Because of this, it was not until 1130 that I encountered him again, in the Stargate Control Room as SG-6 was preparing to depart for Cimmeria. Also there was Colonel O'Neill, whose presence he had "requested." Colonel Kennedy most likely still believed that O'Neill was responsible for the damage to the Stargate, though he still possessed no proof of this. He watched both of us carefully, as well as observing the actions of the technicians overseeing the dialing sequence.
O'Neill's mood had become grim but resigned. "At least the main problem's taken care of by now," he said to me quietly, out of Colonel Kennedy's earshot. "Sam and Daniel probably have it all under control. Amonet's dead, Sha'uri's back. Nothing more for Kennedy to do."
"That is the most likely scenario," I agreed. "However... I can not be at ease with the situation until they have returned. There are too many factors to be considered. But as we will not hear back from either team for at least another day, we must hope that we are correct, and that the Asgard's artifact has performed its task."
"Chevron six encoding.... Chevron seven encoding.... What the...? Uh-oh."
I frowned at O'Neill, whose expression reflected my surprise at the computer technician's announcement. "*That's* not the usual operating procedure," he said thoughtfully.
"What do you mean, 'uh-oh'? Uh-oh what? Why isn't it---" Colonel Kennedy's voice rose in alarm as the Stargate refused to activate.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we've lost power to the 'gate again. And the system's crashed--- looks like a software error this time, we'll have to do a complete system check---" The technician was apologizing profusely to Colonel Kennedy, but his tone did not match his words. Usually when the technicians who run the computers are faced with a "crash," I have observed that their moods vary from the merely annoyed to the murderous, including verbal and physical abuse of the offending systems. Now, however, I noticed that such an attitude was definitely not in evidence.
"I don't believe this!" Colonel Kennedy stormed out of the Control Room and down to the Departure area, gesturing to the technicians who were examining the leads to the Stargate, then walking forward to examine it himself. After a moment, Colonel O'Neill followed him, stopping to speak to one of the Stargate technicians as Kennedy approached another. The members of SG-6 looked confused, circling the ramp as if uncertain what to do, and I overheard the tallest member of the team ask her commanding officer, "So, are we not going, or what, sir?"
"SG-6, you are on stand-down until we have fixed the 'gate again," Colonel Kennedy said, marching down the ramp. "But be prepared to leave for Cimmeria at a moment's notice."
"Sir, with all due respect, my team's ten weeks overdue for a furlough," SG-6's commander retorted. "Regs say you either play us or bench us within 24 hours of the start of our stand-down, sir. If we're still on assignment, that's fine; but if not, we're allowed to leave the SGC and not return for another 48 hours, barring a national security emergency. Please inform us if this qualifies as such *now*."
"It does not," General Hammond said over the public address system. He shook his head at Colonel Kennedy, who clenched his hands into fists. "I'm sorry Colonel, but Lieutenant Colonel Xavier is correct. His team has been owed leave for some time now, and this additional delay could take even longer than the last one. We'll find another team when the 'gate is fixed again."
Two of the members of SG-6 gave each other a high-five, and the tallest took off her helmet and sang out, "Lilith Fair, here I come!" I could see O'Neill smiling delightedly through the glass at me as Colonel Kennedy nodded resentfully to the General. I made my way down the stairs to the Gate room to speak with O'Neill, after momentarily being blocked by two of the computer technicians in the stairwell.
"Enemy action," O'Neill said a few minutes later, drawing me down the corridor into the locker room. "I'm telling you, Teal'c, the rest of the SGC is rooting for Daniel and Sam, and they've decided to make it impossible for Kennedy to get what he wants. I never would've believed they'd all do this, but three times is too many for coincidence."
"I concur. I have also observed some incidents of which you may be unaware which support that theory."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"That prior to his departure from the SGC last night, Lieutenant Gallegos was intercepted by Colonel Makepeace and told to 'get lost and stay lost.'"
"He didn't... Makepeace? I thought it was Gallegos' own idea---"
"On the contrary," I said, shaking my head. "The Colonel was most explicit, and also told the lieutenant to remain lost for forty-eight hours. At the least."
O'Neill stared at me in amazement and began to grin. "Damn. I'm going to hate buying Makepeace a beer, but it looks like I owe him one... Anything else?"
"Yes." I waited until O'Neill gestured impatiently for me to continue, then said, "As I was leaving the Control Room a few minutes ago, I came upon Lieutenant Harriman and a civilian technician---the one with the many earrings and the spiked hair---"
"I know her, yeah. Kid's a terror when it comes to security protocols."
"Indeed. They were dancing in the stairwell. When I inquired as to the reason for the dancing, Lieutenant Harriman did not answer directly, but did inform me that it was theoretically possible to have 93 players participating in a game of Doom II at one time. The tech added that when one reached 94 players, there were inevitable problems with the computer system. She then stuck out her tongue as Colonel Kennedy walked by the stairwell, made a V-sign with her fingers at his back, and returned to her victory dance with the Lieutenant."
O'Neill gaped, then chortled, leaning against a locker. "They must have had half the guys upstairs at NORAD in on it! And Rod Xavier knew a good opportunity to stonewall when he got one. This is just beautiful! What about SG-7?"
"What about them?"
"I'm guessing that they're not really as busy or whacked-out on caffiene as Lieutenant Pierson's report would have Colonel Kennedy believe?" O'Neill looked at me expectantly.
I stared back at him, confused. "There was nothing abnormal in the behavior of Lieutenant Pierson. The members of SG-7 always behave in that manner."
"You're kidding me."
"No."
"Whoa. 'Kay." O'Neill blinked, muttering, "Yeah, the General's gonna have to assign some more personnel to them pretty soon, I think..." He laughed softly again. "But in the meantime, we bought Daniel and Sha'uri another day. Kennedy's doomed. No *way* he's going to win this one. Not with the entire SGC against him."
"I hope you are correct, O'Neill." I would like to believe this as easily as O'Neill. But it is not in my nature to do so. I shall meditate on this matter tonight, and upon the good will which has given Daniel Jackson a second chance. It is this kind of fellowship which has bound me closer to the Taur'i than any command of Apophis's ever did. I only hope that this mission to free Sha'uri is as successful as my own inclusion among them has been.
Sha'uri:
It was many hours later, I think, when I came back to awareness of myself after the pain Amonet had inflicted on me. We were in the room with the pool of water. Amonet had waded in up to her knees, and she was shivering with the cold. I watched impassively as she attempted to catch the small fish that swam around the rocks at the edge of the pool, missing them time and again. The fish would not be very good to eat even if she caught them, I guessed; they looked to be mostly bone and fin, too small to make much of a meal. If she would even know how to prepare it.
She missed again, slapping her hands into the water and frightening a clutch of the silvery swimmers, then screamed in rage, splashing water everywhere in a tantrum worthy of the smallest child. I couldn't help but laugh. ~The queen of thousands, reduced to fishing for her dinner, and failing to catch even one. I wish my brother could see this!~
"Silence," she hissed, turning to wade out of the water, shuddering again as the wind blew through her robes. Gold thread and heavy silk were soaked through, hampering her movements, and she bent to wring out the hem. "I grow hungry. There must be some way to catch them...."
~There is.~
"How?"
~I am not going to tell you.~
"You must!"
~No.~
"We will starve!"
~Why should I care? I can't feel hunger. I am not the one who will suffer, if this body wastes away. As soon as Dan'yel comes, he will bring me a feast. I can wait until then.~
"I will not endure this!" Amonet fumed, and paced along the bank, then stopped, concentrating, and I could feel her lips pull back in a smile. "This should motivate you..."
I could feel it: the growling of her --- our --- stomach, the pangs of missing a day's worth of meals. ~Oh!.... Perhaps you're right. Perhaps we should catch a fish.~
"I knew you would see sense. How do I do this?"
I stifled all amusement, hoping that she wouldn't realize that this was an opportunity I'd wished for, and that I had hoped to lure her into listening to me, so that I could test my answer to the riddle facing me: how to bring her to the Hammer. ~Wade back into the water.~ She glared at the surface of the pool, which had become still and clear again, then reluctantly stepped in, muscles tensing at the cold. ~Stay still. Do *not* move. Wait.~ The fish swam around us, darting around our body and circling, coming close to taste the glittering skirt. Amonet trembled with impatience, but did not move. ~Good. Good... Slip your hands into the water. Don't disturb it. Let your fingers float.~ Our hands did not cause more than a ripple as they broke the surface, hanging down like reeds in a river. ~Wait... waiiit... one moment more....~
My hand--- for at that moment it was mine, and not Amonet's--- closed around one of the fish, bringing it to the surface with my fingers clasped around it tightly. Amonet laughed and twirled around, then hurried out of the water, looking around for a rock with which to stun our catch. "Yes! A beautiful fish to eat, all for me! I am so resourceful. I will not starve before I find my way out of here. I *will* survive!"
~Of course you will,~ I said sardonically. ~Now what will you do?~
She stared at it a moment, unsure, then re-gathered her wits. "I will roast it over one of the lamps in the other room. Then I will peel off the scales." She stalked down the corridor, looking around for something to spear the fish upon, while I thought about the moment during which I had control over my body again.
Strangely, I could sense that it was growing easier to fight against Amonet, the longer we were here. Before, when I would have such pain inflicted upon me, I would return to myself much weaker than before, and need to conserve my strength, refraining from contending with her for a time. Now, I sensed that she was no stronger than I was; that I had not lost as much energy and strength through my resistance. And she had not noticed the moment during which I caught the fish, when it was my will that moved my body, and not hers.
I pondered this while she searched in vain for a stick or tree branch, or any other rod upon which to affix the fish, and then raise it up to the burning lamps to roast. It grew cold and clammy in her hands, and she regarded it with distaste as she returned to the pool, finally sitting down on one of the rocks. "We must eat. Disgusting creature.... if only there were some way to cook it, this would not be so repellant..." She dug her nails into its sides, fighting back the urge to gag. It bled a little, and she set her teeth, stripping off the outer layer while I waited, hoping. There had been times, before --- when Amonet wished to avoid some unpleasantness --- when she would force me to do something she did not wish to....
She couldn't do it; she could not force herself to bite into the raw flesh of the fish. "Eat this for me," she commanded, loosing her control of our body just a little, her ba' watching me to make sure I would do what she commanded.
Obediently, I lifted the fish to our lips--- then let it fall from my fingers into the pool of water as I spun around, running for the door.
~STOP!~ I had taken barely six steps before she reasserted control, seizing all feeling from my limbs and slamming me back into the corners of my mind. ~How *dare* you!~
~Easily. I have nothing to lose.~
Amonet lashed out, sending waves of pain through me. I said nothing, thought nothing, held myself and my ba' as still as I could, until she was finished. Wave upon wave of pain shot through me, and had I a body I would have been left trembling with weariness after she was done.
It hurt. But it always hurt. I could not try to regain control of my body again, at least not very soon. But this punishment hurt less than it had before. Perhaps I would not have so long to wait. ~Interesting...~
I watched as Amonet turned back to the shore of the pool, and cried out in frustration to see that the fish I had dropped was already being consumed by a water-lizard. "Look what you have done. Now I have nothing to eat!"
~Why don't you catch another?~
She shrieked and sent another surge of pain through me, but it did not stop me from laughing.
Hours later, she finally lay down to sleep in a corner of the room with the serpent-markings on the wall. It was slightly warmer in there than in the other rooms, and the floor was at least smooth beneath us. Amonet was still hungry, and growing angrier.
~Asgard... this is all their fault. Theirs and your husband's. When I am free of this place, I will hunt him down and strip the flesh from his corpse for a wall-hanging. As well as the rest of the Taur'i.~
~If you can catch them. You can not go to Earth. It is as forbidden as this planet.~ I smiled to myself, remembering the fortress of Dan'yel's people. ~And they are mighty warriors. They have killed many Goa'uld. If you went through the Chappa'ai to his home, they would only seize us again... Besides. He will be here soon.~
~He has abandoned you.~
~He would never abandon me.~ I turned away from my silent conversation with Amonet, hiding away, remembering the last time I saw my husband.
Abydos. A year ago. And I, pregnant with another man's child. I was so ashamed that I lied to my father, told him that Dan'yel knew where I was, that it was his child, that he had sent me home for safekeeping. I could not bear to have my father know that I was still a slave to Amonet, and that the child was not my husband's. The laws against adultery are strict among my people; and though I was not the one who sinned, I still felt that I had betrayed my family and my husband.
Then Dan'yel came, and after a few moments of fearing that I was still Amonet, and anger at what had happened, he forgave me. Unconditionally. Better: he told me that there was nothing to forgive. And he made me believe it too.
At the worst moments of my life, Dan'yel stood by me and made me brave. He loved me when I felt full of sickness and lies. Despite how long it has been since we have been together, despite all of the things that have happened, he still loved me enough to bring me to this place, to save me. I think, maybe, that he will be in disgrace with his people for doing this. I know that there was something strange about the way I was released from the cell in the Taur'i fortress. His friend, Samantha Carter, was the one who did this, and not O'Neill. I think he lied in order to free me; the shouts behind us as we plunged through the stone circle were not the farewells of friends.
Dan'yel would have given his life for me, when I was first taken. I would have hated to see him taken and made the host of Klor-el or some other demon, but he would have done it. For me.
Dan'yel is coming. We have time to wait.
Finally, Amonet fell asleep. But for once, I did not. As the demon's thoughts drifted into shadows, I was almost pulled down as I was every night. But not quite.
I could not believe it was true. It was not possible. I dared not move, in case it were a trick, so I lay there for long moments, savoring the chill feel of the marble floor against my skin, listening to the water falling down the surface of the stone walls. I opened and closed my fingers, relishing the feeling of muscles moving in my hands, and then I opened my eyes to slivers.
Amonet stirred, and I froze. I waited, as a sleepy murmur of awareness came from her, and then subsided. I swallowed, enjoying even that, enjoying the feeling of hunger in my belly and the stubbed toes that Amonet had gotten from the rock floors. The demon was drifting deeper into sleep as I waited, farther away from me....
I put my hand on the floor, and slowly, very, very slowly, pushed myself into a sitting position. Amonet drowsed on. I closed my eyes, and slowly got to my feet. Nothing. No alarm. No fear.
One step. Another. One foot in front of the other....
I was at the doorway into the Hall of Molnir when my rising excitement finally alerted Amonet that something was wrong.
~What... NO!~
I fought her with everything I had this time, with no thought to the consequences. I made it another three steps--- torturous, unbearably painful progress that caused me to collapse into a heap on the floor as Amonet's panic sent shockwaves of agony through me.
~Mortal fool! You will kill us both! Stop this! STOP! I _command_ you! I demand that you give way to me!~
I lay there, fighting, as awareness of my body faded and even the pain of scraped legs melted away.
Amonet pushed herself upward, still trembling, and turned away from the door and the Hammer above it. "Never do that again," she said through her teeth. An order she expected to be obeyed.
I remained silent until she was back in the room of the carvings, then whispered, ~You will never sleep soundly again, Amonet.~ She paused, surprised, and I went on. ~There is no Skaara here to torture. No Jaff'a to keep me prisoner. You can not feed yourself. You have no one to help you. And my husband is coming for me. We will see who lasts the longest.~
She slumped against the wall and slid down it, staring unseeingly at the carved dragon and tree while I hid away to nurse my pain in silence.
Daniel:
We were lost for almost an hour before Sam managed to pull us back on track. I might have been the one that remembered to bring my notebook from two years ago with the map of the maze's location, but Sam's the one who has the wilderness sense. She could do this without me, but I'd be pretty lost without her.
Every time I start feeling pessimistic about getting to the labyrinth and finding Sha'uri as soon as possible, I remind myself of how lucky I am to have friends like Sam and Gairwyn. Not to mention friends like Jack and Teal'c; if it hadn't been for Teal'c's quick thinking and better reflexes, Amonet would have killed me, back on P8X-872. And Jack covered our exit from the SGC so smoothly that I have to wonder how long he and Sam had been thinking about this possibility. ~But that's Jack: Mr. I-WILL-get-my-own-way-so-just-get-out-of-my-face probably had this half-planned since Chulak.~
Gairwyn left about two hours ago. We hit the entrance to the pass, and the territory she was unfamiliar with, and she suggested we split up. She's going to get help; either a healer from one of the villages up here, or maybe an extra person and more supplies, to help us on the way back. Someone there might know the terrain better than she does, too, and be able to guide us better, and hopefully cut our travel time.
Sam and I haven't been talking much since then; we're saving our breath for the climb. I'd guess we're a couple thousand feet higher than Cheyenne Mountain right now. Good thing we're used to high altitudes. The slopes are getting steeper as we climb, and our progress is getting slower. I wish we had a Jeep, or a helicopter--- anything, really--- so that we didn't have to waste time like this. But we didn't exactly have the option of requisitioning anything like that from supplies.
Sam said she pretty much *had* to come along with me and Sha'uri after she ordered the airmen guarding Amonet to release her from her detention cell. Otherwise they would have thrown Sam in there in Amonet's place the second we escaped. At least this way, she says she gets to take a vacation before she's put in the stockade. Talk about friendship. I know she has her own reasons for doing this, but it still amazes me that she circumvented regs like that. I can't believe there's a cover story in the world that could explain "misunderstanding" orders to this extent.
I kept wondering, all the way up to the Gate Room, how much Sha'uri understood of what was going on, and how much Amonet guessed. We couldn't put her in handcuffs, not when we were supposedly just going for a "chat" with the General and Kennedy in the Briefing Room. ~Admit it. You didn't want Sha'uri to be that vulnerable. Emotion getting in the way of good sense again, as Jack would point out.~
I should have done it anyway. I've got a whole list of should've's, now... I have to stop that. ~Can't think about that. Concentrate on the trail, and getting to Sha'uri.~ My feet are slipping on the rocks under the snow again, and I can't afford a fall that could lead to an injury. ~Can't afford any mistakes. We've made one too many as it is....~
Sha'uri must have known something was wrong when Sam shut the door to the Gate Room in the guards' faces, then walked over, apologized, and punched out the one soldier on-duty in there. Amonet definitely knew something was wrong. If Sam hadn't been holding the M16 on her, she wouldn't have gone through the wormhole. I have to remember that, and have to hang on to all the things that Sha'uri would have seen too, would have witnessed silently while Amonet was in control. She has to know that I'm --- we're --- coming for her, that if Amonet's fighting the idea of going through the Hammer, it will be something that can help her. Kendra was right, what we saw on Apophis's ship with Skaara proved that: something of the host is always there, even if it can't always take action. I have to hope that Sha'uri isn't too confused and scared to know that there's a way out.
We take a rest, and I look around, shaking my head in disbelief. Kendra wasn't kidding, the last time we were up here. These hills do look really different when they're covered with snow. Something about all the color being blanked out, no greens, no browns, none of the light flashing off the rocks and mica formations... Just fields of white, with the occasional grey patch of stone, and the bare trunks of what could be evergreens and pines. Most of them are buried anyway, with only a few feet sticking out above the frozen snow. ~ If we didn't have a map, and Sam didn't know her wilderness, I'd swear we were trapped in Brigadoon!~ The clouds match the rocks, and there's no blue or gold sun to focus on, just mile after mile of fog rolling above us. Everything for the last twenty miles has looked exactly the same to me.
We found the stream that flows off the mountain, though. It'll lead us to the aqueducts the Asgard built to channel the mountain glacier runoff around the maze. Sam guesses that we're about another eight hours or so away. It'll be dark before we get there, but Gairwyn and Sam both agreed that we'd be better off if we keep going, and take shelter in the outside rooms of the maze, instead of stopping for the night again. It should only be a few more hours past sunset by the time we get there, and any shelter is better than camping in the open at this elevation.
I can't take wondering about Sha'uri any more. I've got too many questions, and Sam might have some of the answers...I have to ask. "Sam?"
"Yeah?" She's re-adjusting her boots, lacing them up tighter. They might be all-weather gear, but they still aren't insulated enough against this snow."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What?"
"What it was like... when Jolinar wasn't bonded to you any more?" Sam looks up, shocked, and I immediately felt ashamed. ~Just because you're going nuts, is no reason to make Sam crazy along with you....~ "Ignore me. Forget I asked that, okay? It isn't anything I really need to know."
Sam's quiet for a long moment, and I think that she's upset with me; then she hands me her canteen so I can take a drink of water, and she shakes her head as I sip. "I don't think it's comparable, Daniel. Jolinar gave up her life for me willingly. Anything I could tell you wouldn't apply."
"I know. Never mind. I just couldn't help wondering..."
"No, it's okay. I know how worried you are. I just wish I could tell you anything helpful." She stretches, squinting at the top of the mountain, then turns back to me. "You remember how depressed I was? How I wouldn't talk to anyone for days afterward?"
"Yes." She'd curled up like a little girl on her hospital bed, barely blinking, barely breathing. Not crying; just this incredible sadness in her eyes, like she'd lost part of herself and couldn't believe it was gone. It didn't make any sense to me at the time--- which made it even scarier. "I remember. You had us pretty worried."
"Sha'uri might be like that too. It wasn't just that Jolinar gave up her life so I could survive. That was bad enough, but..." Sam takes the canteen back from me, takes a long swig, then screws the top back on without looking at it, her eyes stuck on the middle distance. "I *felt* her die. Felt it in a way I can't even describe to you. It was like I was dying with her, every sensation going through me at the same time. And the fear, and how it felt to fight it... at the end, when it was all over, she was so peaceful...." She shuts her eyes, smiling painfully, and I can almost feel it along with her. "It isn't something you can forget."
"Sam...." There are things you can't help someone else deal with no matter how much you want to, if you haven't been through them. ~I would give anything to help you Sam, to help Sha'uri after this is over....~ But I know that all I'm going to be able to do is hope that Sam will be able to share some of her own amazing strength with Sha'uri, or that Sha'uri will somehow find the same determination inside herself. She had it in her two years ago, but I can't know if it's still there, not after all she's been through....
"I don't know if Amonet can be forced to leave Sha'uri without Sha'uri experiencing her death too. Kendra said it was like needles in her brain--- it probably won't be any easier than it was for me, Daniel. I'm sorry. I wish I could lie to you, but I don't want you to think this is going to be easy." Sam raises her gaze to mine, studying my expression with more than just sympathy or concern. Pain for Sha'uri, and regret at causing me pain with the truth are both clear in her eyes.
Sometimes I wish that everything would just go back to the way it was before, and that Apophis never came to Abydos--- but if that happened I never would have met Sam Carter, and had her for a friend. And I can't regret that. I can wish a lot of other things away, but not Sam, or Jack, or Teal'c. They're the ones that made the last two years bearable, and sometimes even made it fun.
"It's okay, Sam. I needed to know." She still looks so sad. "Really, I mean it. I can handle this. Just... keep reminding me that you got through it. Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes."
She grins and punches me lightly on the shoulder. "Quite an offer, there, Dr. Jackson. But don't worry about what to do." Sober again, her hand moves to squeeze mine tightly, then lets go. "Just be Daniel. We'll get her through the rest. All of us will."
"Thanks." ~I hope. I hope you're right, Sam. I hope that's all it takes.~
We start hiking again then, without speaking, but I keep turning over what she said in my mind. One foot, then the other, left foot, right foot, one mile, then two, then four... and inside my head, I can't even feel it any more. My muscles were aching several miles back, but I've gone past that into this chilled numbness that doesn't distract me from my thoughts.
I suppose I'm obsessing about the after-effects and how hard it might be to get Sha'uri through this as a way of avoiding the deeper doubts. Like, what will she be like after two and a half years as a Goa'uld host? Sam is still dealing with Jolinar's memories after a year, and they were only joined together for a few days. Will Sha'uri even be the same person?
~Why do I even *ask* myself that? I know better.~
I slap a few tree branches out of the way to relieve my feelings, and Sam shoots me a look of concern. I can't tell her I'm fine, so I just look away, trying to find the next landmark.
Of course Sha'uri won't be the same. I'm not. In a million ways, I've changed. There are things I've done--- been in battles, gone on commando raids, died a few more times--- that I never would have dreamed of, back then. I've become more pragmatic, and more ruthless, since I left Abydos. Jack had me trained in weapons--- pistols, rifle, knives--- and I'm actually good at some of them. Pistols, especially. If you'd given me a gun when I was back on a dig in Egypt, I wouldn't have known how to hold it, much less load it and take down a Jaffa with it. Now I can shoot with either hand, and not hit any of our guys, either. Just their guys. Just the Goa'uld and their armies.
~God, I hate them....~
I can't even imagine what Sha'uri's been through. But if I've changed this much, she has to have changed --- experienced --- even more. She may never want to be married to anyone again. She may want to just go back to Abydos and hide in a cave. She could, maybe, just not feel the same for me as I do for her, after all this time. I wouldn't blame her if she couldn't. Look what being a host did to Sam; she still has moments where she doesn't know what's going on in her own head. Sha'uri may want to make things simple for herself, and just stay the hell away from anything to do with the Goa'uld, including me.
I can't assume that I'll get her back, just because she'll be free of Amonet. I can't go into this thinking everything will be the same and return to the way it was, even though it's what I've been praying for every night since I lost her. I'm so *stupid* that this is just hitting me now. But maybe if I had thought of it earlier I would've had even more nightmares, so I guess it's kind of a blessing.
The road widens here, like it did just a few miles before the aqueducts. The going from now on will be easier than it has been. Sam's looking more cheerful. ~But why shouldn't she? She thinks the hard part of this trip is over...~
The hell of it is, I was almost... resigned, really, to not getting her back, or at least not getting back what we had, when I returned to Abydos a year ago. I hated admitting it, but it had been an entire year, and I was starting to face the fact that I might never see Sha'uri again, and that the life I'd loved with her family and people was never going to be given back to me. I was never going to stop looking, and it still hurt like hell, but I could deal with that. I didn't want anyone else, I knew that I was probably going to be alone for a long time, if not always, but that was... do-able. I had good friends, especially Sam and Jack and Teal'c; I had the work with the SGC, I had a purpose. It wasn't perfect, but I'd had perfect and lost it, so forget finding that again. It hurt less to admit that, than hoping did.
But then she was there, and seeing her again, and being with her... that was all it took to make me want my life back again. My *wife*, back again. It was exactly like it was before, in some ways. All she had to do was look at me, with that expression of complete trust, and I would've walked blindfolded into a blizzard for her. There was no _way_ I could let her have that baby alone. The father didn't matter, what mattered was Sha'uri, making sure she didn't die, that the baby didn't die, that Amonet didn't get her hands on the child. ~We did that much, at least. At least for a while...~
That's something else we'll have to deal with, if--- *when*--- this is over. Finding Sha'uri's baby, wherever Amonet sent him. Sha'uri should know where. That's something for her to hang onto, to fight for. She may not want the rest of her life back the way it was, but I know she'll want to fight for her son.
The aqueducts. Exactly like I remember; except they're iced over now, with the water running just under the surface. You can hear the rush of it without seeing what's moving beneath you.
"Almost there, Daniel." Sam turns and smiles at me. "We won't even need the map, now, and there's no chance we'll get lost. Everything will be okay."
"Yeah...." I hope so. Because I don't know what more I can do now. Except pray.
Jack:
Since when has informing someone of the facts been a court-martial offense?
We'd been scraping the sides of the SGC barrel when Kennedy put in an off-world call to SG-2, hoping to get them off PX3-499 and headed to Cimmeria. Kennedy didn't intend to give Ferretti any details about the assignment until he and his team returned to the Gateroom, but when Feretti demanded *some* reason to come back and break off exploring a possible Naquadah site, I stepped in. Well, shoved in... Okay, both. It's a gift.
"It's Daniel, Major. He's pulled another stunt like he did on Chu'lak, with Apophis's guards. Kennedy wants you to come in and fetch Dr. Jackson back from Barbados."
"What---?" Kennedy didn't even have five seconds to get confused before we heard weapon fire over the MALP's radio transmitter.
"Sir! We've got a sniper! We're gonna have to call you back---"
"Do you need back-up, Major Ferretti?" The General was leaning forward, his knuckles on the console, and giving me this *look*.
"No, sir, we can handle it--- but we'll have to break off contact until 1000---" More weapons fired; not Goa'uld. Semi-automatic. Like the ones Ferretti's guys were carrying. "Hopefully! Feretti out!"
I don't know why I get that *look* more than some people, but I do. Teachers, superior officers, ex-girlfriends, my ex-wife--- and every once in a while, I get it from my team. That what-did-you-just-*do?* look. Of course, this time I deserved it. But still. The General couldn't _know_ that... well, okay, he could. He's been my CO for two years. If he hadn't lost all his hair before I was assigned to him, me and my team would have done for his hairline over the course of our missions.
Then again, he wasn't saying anything, just looking, and if he was just looking, he couldn't think of an exact charge to accuse me of, and that meant I was safe. And so was my team. He could glare and shoot me that *look* all he wanted.
Kennedy didn't bother with looking, he just started screaming. "OUT! OUT OF THE CONTROL ROOM!"
"Now, Colonel---"
"O'Neill, I think you should do as Colonel Kennedy is requesting."
"That was *deliberate* sabotage! I may not be able to prove it, but I know it when I see it, and if he's not out of here in _five_ seconds---"
I opened my mouth to argue, caught the Texas-Ranger kinda glint in Hammond's eye, then shut my mouth and nodded ruefully. "Maybe leaving would be best, sir." ~Considering I can't do any more damage here, anyway...~ I backed out of the room with my best apologetic aw-shucks expression, which didn't stop Kennedy from foaming at the mouth, but did keep the General from immediately throwing my ass into a detention cell.
Which was why I was wandering around the corridors and chortling to myself. It pays, oh man, how it pays, to have code words for getting out of trouble known to the guys who've been under your command before you need 'em. Barbados equals vacation equals "find something else to do, you don't wanna hear these orders."
That and mentioning Daniel and Chu'lak were sure to put Ferretti onto at least part of what was going on. He was still in the infirmary when Danny-boy tried to sacrifice himself to be with Sha'uri on Chu'lak. But he knows about it. Nobody around here who doesn't. And Ferretti was there when Apophis grabbed Skaara and Sha'uri, and took out half of SG-2. If Daniel wanted anything to do with Sha'uri, Ferretti'd back him.
By now, Kennedy had to know that no one wanted to go after Daniel and Sam. He's a blowhard, but he's not *completely* stupid. But we were getting short on possibilities now; SG-2, 3, 6 and 7 were all out of the question. SG-11 was due back on base in another 30 hours, but until then, they were incommunicado on a training mission. SG-8 and SG-10 just got sent in as back-up to SG-4 off-planet; a diplomatic crisis brewing with the locals there that actually took precedence over escaped Goa'ulds.
The General had tried calling in the President to get Kennedy off our collective backs; but for now, he was out of reach. The JCS was adamant that Kennedy, being their man on the spot, handle the "situation." And so far, we'd been given the distinct impression that they didn't give a damn how it happened, they just wanted Amonet back from Cimmeria. Now.
I wandered into the locker room, most of my good mood starting to fade. Another few hours' delay. SG-9 and SG-5 were due back within the next three. Either team could be sent through. I kicked one of the lockers shut, then opened it and kicked it shut again, just to hear it slam. ~Not satisfying enough. Too damn easy. Where's something big to throw, damnit? Preferably through a window.~ Too bad they can't put in windows 28 stories underground. I'd've really liked to smash some glass around about then.
The thing was, they should have been back already. They weren't way overdue. Not yet. It takes about four days, total, ninety-six hours, worst case scenario, to get to the maze and back. We were hitting hour forty-six. The best-case scenario hadn't happened, obviously. Which meant that two of them --- or one of them--- had to wait at the maze for the other one or two to show up, so they could all come back together without getting separated. They would have been back eight hours before if they'd all been zapped to Thor's place the second they bounced through the 'gate.
Cimmeria's fairly safe, as planetary contacts go, since it's under the protection of the Asgard. The only Goa'uld on the planet was going to be Amonet, and she'd be in the maze thirty seconds after she walked through the 'gate. Technically, there was nothing to worry about. Daniel and Carter were fine. Sha'uri was going to be fine. Kennedy, that goofball, wasn't even a real issue; when they came back without Amonet, he wouldn't have a reg to stand on. And that was what was *going* to happen.
But you don't get to be Colonel by taking situations at face value, and the previous analysis doesn't take two things into account: Daniel Jackson and Sam Carter, and their unique abilities to find trouble, and get out of it, in ways that no sane universe would ever put up with.
Daniel Jackson is a brilliant, insightful, and dedicated guy. Everyone says so. Hell, even *I* say so. He's the reason we have a working Stargate in the first place. He is also the single biggest walking disaster area it's ever been my privilege to work with. If you want to find the one sinkhole in a 1000-square-mile desert, ask Daniel to walk across it and he'll get sucked in without even trying. When he's *trying* to do something, you'll end up with a sandstorm that takes out you, the enemy, and any locals who wandered by out of curiosity--- and when it comes to Sha'uri, Daniel tries very, very hard.
Sam Carter is also brilliant, insightful, dedicated, blah blah blah. Nobody who's ever spent five minutes with her can miss it. She comes in second in the How We Got a Working Stargate honors. The biggest difference between them --- aside from the X-chromosome that makes working with Carter such an *interesting* experience--- is that Carter doesn't randomly wander into disaster. Carter sizes up the disaster coming at her, realizes how completely she's screwed, loads her M-16 for bear without taking her eyes off it, and then takes her best shot at getting the disaster before it gets her, all without moving one inch. She's still standing. Which tells you something about her aim.
One of the things I know is that Daniel is a lot stronger than he looks. If he doesn't get Sha'uri back, it won't kill him. But it'll kill any enthusiasm he has for the SGC and a huge chunk of his dreams to lose her now, like this. I also know that if any of *our* guys try to take Sha'uri away from him, the least said guy would have to worry about would be a 'Zat gun blast to the face from Dr. Jackson. Which would lead to some kind of trial, which would lead to a delightful "detainment facility", which _would_ kill him.
I also know that Sam Carter, among her other accomplishments, has one of the keenest consciences I've ever come across. She's practical down to the bone (unlike Daniel) and she's never gone off half-cocked in the time that I've known her. But she *will* take any risk up to the point of no return without counting the personal cost to herself. She's got a lot of reasons, including her friendship with Daniel, to want Sha'uri to be free of Amonet. She'd be perfectly willing to trash her entire career for their sake.
I don't intend for either of them to have to make those choices.
These two people, along with Teal'c, are my closest friends. We've saved each other's lives so many times that we had to stop keeping score. It got too messy, especially when saving them or me sometimes meant dying--- and then coming back from death to save each other again. I know stuff about them that no one else in the universe knows. And I know that if there's a worst case here, they'll find it. Sha'uri's an unknown quantity in all of this; and how much can she do, trapped inside Amonet?
~If we're lucky, Sha'uri's going through the Hammer right now. Or she's been through and is back to human already.~ I started pacing around the locker room, kicking any bit of equipment dumb enough to get in my way. ~Which'll make all of Kennedy's plans collapse like matchsticks. But he ain't going to admit that. Not until she's standing in front of him without a snake in her head.~ So, more stalling. More delaying. Anything I could think of. There was still Major Carter's career to salvage, even if the Hammer hadn't... hell. ~Don't go there, O'Neill.~
If Sam and Daniel came back to the SGC on their own, without having to be dragged back, it would make all the difference in whatever court martial Kennedy was sure to insist on. If not... ~They wouldn't dare let her off the project. They need her too bad. She's the expert, the astrophysicts whiz-kid, the one with the Tok'ra memories. They'll just boot her out of the USAF and re-hire her as a consultant, like Danny.~
Oh, she'd *love* that. Right. _Not_ gonna happen. ~I won't let 'em hang you if I can help it, Carter. I just need time to think of something else to keep 'em occupied---~ We'd been damn lucky to get the help we had from the other personnel. But there was no way to directly ask for more, not without getting caught, anyway. Nope. Kennedy's attache's were hovering, just waiting for me to pull something. ~Gotta think of another plan *now*, O'Neill. Your team's counting on you....~
"Colonel O'Neill." I jerked my head up, automatically on guard, relaxing when I saw that it wasTeal'c, looking as amused as he gets.
"Yeah?"
"I have heard that SG-2 will not be returning from their latest assignment. And that Colonel Kennedy is cursing your ancestors and your personal habits through several levels of the SGC."
Gossip has to be the fastest beast in the known universe. Forget jaguars, or antelope, or those flying bugs on the Nox planet. Gossip can outrun them all. "What, he didn't get in any shots at my karma while he was at it?"
"On the contrary. He appeared to have an abiding interest in it."
"I'll bet." Teal'c tilted his head, giving me his polite version of what's-up? without saying anything. He's not much for unnecessary words. Not like a certain anthropologist I know. Or his separated-at-birth-verbal-twin of an astrophysicist. "Teal'c, do you think there's any chance we could take the Control Room hostage without getting shot?"
Didn't even make him blink. Someday I'll rattle him--- not today, though. "I would say that it would be strategically difficult and tactically unsound. Many personnel aside from ourselves could be hurt. And the operation of the Stargate could be compromised."
"Damn. I was afraid you'd say that." I brooded for a minute, opening and kicking the locker door again, then elbowing it shut and leaning against it. "He should've let us go through. They're members of my team, for chrissakes. My responsibility. Kennedy's got no concept of what he's doing."
"I would tend to agree. But I can not fault Colonel Kennedy's chain of reasoning in forbidding us to go, since he is correct. Our personal loyalties to Daniel Jackson and Major Carter would outweigh our orders to bring them back."
"Why, Teal'c, do you think I'd disobey a direct order from the Joint Chiefs of Staff? When I'd given my *word* to come home like a good little boy?"
Teal'c did his Spock-eyebrow impression, but added in a blink of amazement that I'd even asked. "I have been informed by Major Carter that you were probably never a good little boy. She is of the opinion that you were a--- hellion, was her term." He was almost smiling. "And while I did not know you as a child, I have observed enough similarities to my own son to believe that she is correct."
"Where does Carter get these ideas about me?" ~Better yet, how can I embarrass her about 'em the next time I see her?~ I grimaced and pushed away from the locker, stalking for the door. "Well, hell. If I can't go find 'em, and I can't delay any more of the teams, I'm going to catch a nap. Wake me up if SG-5 or SG-9 gets back, will you?"
"Certainly."
I stopped then, and turned around. "Speaking of which-- when are you going to get some shut-eye?"
Immensely calm, Teal'c replied, "When Daniel Jackson has returned with Sha'uri. I will meditate and rest after you have slept, Colonel, but I do not intend to sleep until they have returned."
Which made us almost even, since I'd had maybe six hours of sleep since this mess started. "Cool. I'll spell you in four if the other teams aren't back by then." Teal'c nodded, and I stalked off to officer's quarters, hitting the bunk like a ton of bricks. I didn't try to sleep. I didn't meditate, either. I kept thinking about the possibilities, and how to get past Kennedy if they went past the time-limit of ninety hours that I'd imposed on this little trip, and how to keep the next team from leaving, and....
The next thing I knew, Teal'c was shaking me, telling me SG-9 was back from P4J-907. And that Kennedy had ordered them to Cimmeria.
"*What* has happened to SG-9?"
I'd actually been worried. Hell, I'd even been resigned to SG-9 going; I was just working on Plan B --- getting me and Teal'c to Cimmeria while Kennedy's back was turned. Nothing had really materialized on that idea yet, but it was going to be more workable than stopping SG-9.
I should've known better.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid SG-9 can't leave the facility---"
"No. Way." Kennedy was turning his glare on the Doc now, but she practices face-offs with General Hammond, and Kennedy's not even close to his league. She also faces off with me on occasion, and sometimes she wins. Usually when she's got a syringe in her hand.
"Are you trying to tell me that you're confining SG-9 to the base for medical reasons? On what grounds?" General Hammond demanded.
Fraiser didn't even flinch. "Yes, sir. They've all fallen ill in the last few hours. It could be a bug they picked up on P4J-907. So far none of the other personnel seem to have contracted it. Or...."
"Or?" Kennedy had his head buried in his hands.
"Or it could be food poisoning from the moo shu pork at the cafeteria last night." Fraiser was avoiding looking at me, oh yeah. "Captain MacIntyre claims he felt ill before he left, sir, and that he had moo shu pork for dinner last night."
You gotta love the Doc. For as long as she's been stationed here, she's bitched about the so-called "Chinese" food in the cafeteria; and the fact that they _don't_ serve moo shu pork. She *knows* that. I know that. She knows I know that, because whenever I used to lose a bet with her (which was all of twice before I stopped betting against Fraiser) she made me drive to Denver for Chinese from her favorite place to celebrate. Not Springs, oh no. That would be too easy. A three-hour drive because she joneses for "real" Chinese food. I ask you! Janet Frasier is a woman with no compunctions about getting her own way.
So there's no way this is food poisoning. I could've kissed her, I really could've.
"This is absurd." Kennedy dropped his hands, and got to his feet, pointing a finger at Janet and shaking it at her. She looked from the finger to him without changing expression. "You're in on it! You made this up! Those people are *not* sick!"
~Go Janet go Janet go Janet!~ I chanted to myself, keeping my face as innocent as possible.
"Pardon me, sir, but they most certainly are." Doc could've performed surgery with that voice, that's how steely it was. "If you would care to come down to the Infirmary and hold the basins for SG-9 while they lose their breakfasts, by all means, do so! And you might want to change their bed linens, while you're at it! But I have far too much work to do to waste your time with stories. SG-9 is quarantined for the next 48 hours---"
"You can't *do* that!"
"Oh yes, I can. General, I'm invoking my medical override and grounding SG-9. If you have a problem with that, you can get someone from the Academy Hospital to back me up. Now, unless there's anything else, I have patients to get back to." Carter's got a habit of always letting her eyes get too wide and her voice too fast when she's trying to sell a story; a problem which Fraiser does _not_ have. She sounds like she couldn't give a damn if you believe her or not. General Hammond didn't. Colonel Kennedy didn't.
But they weren't gonna be able to break her, and they knew it. I might have been wrong, but to me, General Hammond looked relieved.
"Dismissed, Doctor. Keep us apprised of their condition."
"Will do, sir."
I didn't say anything. Anything I'd could've said would've been gloating, and I was saving mine up for when Daniel and Sha'uri and Carter came through that wormhole. ~I'm going to be buying beer for everyone in the SGC before this is over....~
"This is ridiculous. I'm being deliberately stonewalled! Your personnel are sabotaging a mission approved by the JCS, General. I *demand* that we requisition a team from the Groom Lake facility, before anything more can go wrong---" Kennedy was spluttering, nearly choking on his disappointment.
"Careful, Colonel. Be very, very careful." Hammond drummed his fingers on the desk, a clear sign he'd like to send someone to the stockade. "Surely you don't believe that SG-9 deliberately became sick? Or that SG-2 was not under attack? Let's concentrate on getting a team to Cimmeria, instead of recriminations over things that can't be helped." He was smiling now. Actually, I wouldn't put it past SG-9 to get a *little* sick on purpose... and for the Doc to exaggerate it way past the normal level of concern. If I can think of that, General Hammond had probably thought of even more possibilities. But hey, if he didn't want to share his thoughts, that was his call. "A team can be ordered from Peterson or Groom Lake if no other SG teams are available, but we haven't run out of options yet. Until then, we'll stick to on-site personnel."
~Kennedy's never going to make Major General at this rate.~ Man, was he mad. Simmering, steaming, boiling, mad. Along other emotions that would be fascinating on a volcano, but on Kennedy, it just reminded me of stewed vegetables.
He got his temper scaled back to shaking, sending me and Teal'c dagger glances across the table, then exhaled. "Very well. SG-5. Where are they?"
"They're down in the artifacts room, unloading their samples from the last mission, sir," one of his weasel attachments spoke up. "Major Pulaski said they'd be up in a minute."
"Good." He glared at me again.
"What did I do?" I asked, trying to look hurt. Teal'c made a sound next to me that could have been instantly-choked-off laughter--- at any rate, he was vibrating very slightly in his chair.
"Don't get me started, O'Neill. Your behavior in this debacle has not gone un-noted, and right after Major Carter, I'm going to request a tribunal for *your* court-martial---"
An airman knocked on the door just as Kennedy looked ready to erupt. "Uhhh, sir, you're not gonna like this...."
Oh, but I was going to love it. I could already tell.
....I did love it. It was sheer genius.
Through one of the observation windows into the labs, SG-5 waved at us, looking depressed. Okay, kinda depressed. Slightly distressed. Mildly apologetic. But not really.
"SG-5 is currently locked in the lab with one of the artifacts they picked up on the last planet. It's generating a field that won't let them open the door, sir." Silers, the head 'Gate technician and one of our grease-monkey-of-all-trades, was trying to adjust the frequency on some gadget he'd stuck--- literally, it looked like it was just hanging in the air without support--- in the wall. "They're perfectly safe--- so far--- but they can't get out. They can't get their hands or any tools through the field to turn the knob on the door, much less go through it themselves."
I wanted to applaud. I settled for a discreet grin for Major Pulaski, who shrugged and smiled back through the glass. ~Let's see you prove *this* is deliberate, Kennedy. Especially when we're the only experts on alien artifacts.~ Whatever it was, I was willing to bet that Pulaski knew exactly how to turn it off. His guys were looking just a little *too* relaxed, but what the hell. Kennedy couldn't get his hands around their throats, at this point.
"This is unbelievable." Kennedy had gone beyond shock, or anger, or outrage, into flat disgust. It was all I could do not to grin at him. "How can it be doing that?"
"We're not sure, sir." Silers blinked up at him, then went back to jimmying the what-cha-ma-callit he'd stuck in the wall. "We're hoping that we can cancel it out, though, with this device. They appear to be connected somehow---"
"Get it fixed. Get them out of there. Get them to the GateRoom. As soon as possible." Kennedy wasn't giving up yet. I would've admired him for that... except that I didn't think it had anything to do with determination or principles, but just a sick need to save face, at this point.
"Yes, sir."
"If you gentlemen will excuse me..." ~I think my work here is done. So to speak.~ I ducked out before Kennedy could start yelling again, Teal'c right behind me as I took the nearest stairwell up a flight, ditching the attache' at the elevator on the next floor. I grinned at his frustrated expression as the doors closed on him, then turned to Teal'c.
"SG-11's not due back for another 24 hours. Before that happens, they're gonna need a briefing about what's going on. Then they can make their own choices. Find somebody, anybody, who can meet them at the 'Gate and fill them in. Do it fast, do it discreetly---"
"I have someone already in mind, Colonel."
"Great. Don't tell me about it. I can't afford to know. We've got another forty hours or so before they should be back." The doors of the elevator opened, and I stepped out. "I'll have something figured out for *our* excursion before then."
Teal'c bowed his head to me as the elevator doors closed again, and I headed toward the elevator out of the SGC, up to the top of the mountain.
The elevator shaft only goes up to two flights below the exit, so the last bit of time before you break cover on the mountain feels like you're climbing out of a pit, and then the light hits you--- sunshine out of darkness, or the shine of a half-million stars all sitting on top of the mountain, watching you. I'd lost track of any real sense of time hours ago, so I was surprised that I was coming out under moonlight and stars, the cool air hitting me like a blessing after the staleness of the SGC's hallways. Maybe I'd been awake too long, inside that concrete bunker for too long, if this was such a relief. ~Conducting a running skirmish of misdirection for two days straight will do that to you, O'Neill.~
I nodded to the sentry on duty, then started pacing away from the exit point, along the edge of the timberline. There's an electric fence and other guards out in the night, but you can ignore them if you want to. They'll ignore you as long as the sentry notifies them by radio of your exit. A lot of personnel come up here for a smoke, or just a break when they're on a long stretch of duty. There was only one other person there, off to the left, smoking a cigarette whose embers flashed near ground level.
Taking a moment to stare upward, and knowing I couldn't see Cimmeria's star from Earth, I finally picked out the section of sky closest to it. "Hurry up, guys," I muttered under my breath. "We can only hold the fort for so long..." I shook my head, feeling stupid. Superstitious. I gave up on prayer years ago, after God didn't give me the answers I wanted to my demands, and Daniel and Carter being in trouble didn't change that. It just gave me another reason not to trust the guy in the white robe and flowing beard. Positive thinking doesn't do anything but keep your frame of mind receptive to finding solutions--- it sure doesn't solve the problems of three people light-years away.
~They're overdue. But we have to give them enough time. Another day and a half, maybe.~ Kennedy wasn't going to back down now; and Daniel and Carter stood too lose too much if we threw it in at this point.
We. Damn. When did the whole SGC decide to back Daniel and Carter, in the face of a JCS order? The second they left? Was it because of Kennedy being a such a rat, or something else? It was one thing for me to mess with the 'Gate after they left; they're my team, and my friends. But for everyone else to do it, unasked, even--- I can't ask any of them why, yet. Too risky, with Kennedy's guys circling like vultures. I just keep thinking that I'm damn lucky to be serving with some of the best people on any planet of the universe.
I wandered over to the smoker and smiled down at her. "Got a spare coffin nail for me?"
Fraiser glanced up, her teeth flashing white in the moonlight for a second, then waved to the patch of grass next to her as she re-opened the pack. "You quit. And I shouldn't. I should be ordering you to get some sleep."
"So? Neither should you, Doc. Even if you barely ever do it." I sat down and cocked my head at her, stretching out my legs. "And you aren't going to order me to sleep, and you know it."
"How do *you* know that?" Fraiser sounded vaguely irritated as she handed me a Marlboro, then offered her lighter.
I lit it, then tossed the lighter back to her, inhaling the nicotine for a long moment before answering. "Same reason you grounded SG-9." She turned her head inquiringly to me. "Because you let your friends make their own choices. SG-9 made theirs, the same as Daniel and Carter."
She was quiet a second, then said conversationally, "We could *all* be court-martialled, you know, if they can prove anything. Not just Sam."
"I know." I took another puff, and tapped some ash off the end. "That's not going to happen, though."
Fraiser grimaced, shaking her head. "Colonel, you can say that as many times as you want, but it's not going to stop Kennedy from trying. He has the authority to do what he wants, at least until Amonet's death is confirmed."
"Let him try." I grinned, and shot another glance up at the stars. ~Still covering your backs, guys...~ "I'm not doing him any favors or giving him the chance to exercise that authority until *after* they're back. The JG's office can figure out a name for why I didn't break any regs later."
"If they want to."
"They will if this comes out right. If the Hammer works. If not..." I shrugged, dismissing the question. "We'll have bigger problems."
"Oh, yeah," Fraiser said softly. She took another long drag off the cigarette, and her voice got quieter. "I'm praying that Sha'uri's in better shape than the Major was a year ago. Sam's the one that pulled herself through the illness afterward. Not me. Her and Jolinar." She was silent for a moment, then she said--- almost whispering it--- "For as long as I've known him, Daniel's been looking for Sha'uri. It hasn't seemed real in some ways, just because it's almost the first thing I learned about Daniel. And now..." Her voice trailed off for a second, then she stubbed the cigarette out viciously. "Now he has a chance for the happy ending. And I'm amazed at how badly I want that for him."
I exhaled a stream of smoke through my nose, thinking that maybe I had my answer about the other SGC personnel now. Daniel's mission was a symbol of what we were fighting against in the Goa'uld. If he got Sha'uri back, it would be a victory for everyone there, and they wanted to be part of it.
There was no way Amonet or Kennedy could win over that. Uh-unh. I'd been saying it would all be okay, and telling everyone it would be fine, over and over since the crisis started. But all of a sudden I *knew* it, I knew that it would all work out, as long as we kept at it. I have no idea where that feeling came from. Gut feeling, maybe; maybe just recognizing somewhere deep in my brain that we had what it took to hold out against Kennedy, and that feeling translated to Daniel and Carter and Sha'uri. We were going to have to keep fighting a rear-guard action, but the edge of panic that had been driving me was gone.
I stood up, offering Janet a hand. She took it, got to her feet and brushed off her lab coat. "Fraiser?"
"What?"
"Trust me on this. The happy ending *will* happen." I smiled twistedly, and dropped my cigarette, grinding it into the dust. "No matter what I have to do to make it come true. Got it?"
Fraiser studied me a second, then saluted me with only a hint of mockery. "Got it. Sir. I'll inform the universe that you expect results."
"Damn straight."
We strolled back to the entrance companiably, and I just had to ask. "Moo shu pork?"
"Or something." Doc hummed under her breath, sounding happy. "Maybe a little experimenting with ipecac and other medications on their part. Things that might, possibly, make you throw up for several hours running."
I laughed as I followed her back into the mountain, the feeling of certainty growing, despite the absence of starlight. "I didn't know that was contagious..."
Sha'uri:
A day had passed, and we had not slept. Or eaten. Or rested.
Amonet wandered through the corridors of the maze, from one room to the other, scarcely noticing the changes between the chambers as she searched for an escape. I remained silent, studying each room carefully, looking for any clues that the Asgard might have left for us. There was nothing. Each room had different carvings, differently shaped lamps above, and were of different dimensions--- but none offered comfort or rest, or any exit other than the next corridor, which led to the next room, which led to another corridor.... A few rooms offered two doorways to choose from, but they never opened into anything different from the chambers behind us. The rooms coiled on themselves like a serpent, leading from the end back to the beginning again, like the carving on the first wall.
Finally, we returned to the water chamber, and Amonet leaned against the wall, weary. "There is a way out. There must be. There *must* be an escape. There must be. There must be...."
I did not speak to her, waiting. Her eyes remained closed, our body slack against the stone wall. She was so tired, even more tired than I was.
I turned, and began to run again.
~FOOL!~ We came to a halt several yards down the corridor, crashing into the wall and falling to the rock floor. Amonet cursed me within our body as she cried aloud in pain. Rolling over, she hugged one leg to our chest, gasping in outrage and hurt at the blood welling up from it. "*Damn* you! Damn you to darkness, slave! You have injured us, and there is no sarcophagus here for us to be healed in!"
~I am already living my damnation. And it will mend,~ I said waspishly. ~It is only a scrape. You're like a child, Amonet. You have done far, far worse to others who did not dare wail about it.~
Amonet ignored me, still crying like a very small girl, whimpering and sniffling, trying to stop the flow of blood. She blotted at the knee with her skirt, holding it and rocking back and forth for several minutes. Eventually it ceased to bleed, and she staggered in an attempt to stand up, one hand supporting her on the wall.
I flexed my fingers. Strange. I was stronger than I had been a moment ago---
I reached the room of the dragon carving before Amonet regained control this time, bringing us to a stumbling halt. "Stop this! Cease at once! Stop!" A blur of pain went through me, unfocused but still harshly unpleasant. It was several long moments before I could reply, but I sensed that Amonet was exhausted by the effort to punish me. She was weakening every moment we remained in the labyrinth. "I *forbid* you to attempt the Hammer! I order you to obey me, human! I am your master! I am your goddess! You *must* do as I say!"
~Very well.~
She paused in her tirade, surprised and suspicious. "You agree not to try again? I do not believe you. You are trying to trick me."
~I do not care what you think, Amonet.~ I smiled inside of myself, and Amonet shifted with unease. ~Dan'yel is coming. And when he arrives, he and his friend will drag this body through the Hammer. And then you will die. There is nothing you can do about it. I do not *need* to fight you. I know you can not leave this maze, now. *You* are the one who is doomed.~
The demon stiffened, pulling her entire body taut, fingers curling into fists. ~When your Dan'yel comes, I will kill him. I will pretend to be you, and then I will break his neck.~
~No! He will know, he will not let you, you will _not_ kill him---~
"Yes," she purred aloud, relaxing, fingers opening as she smiled. "If you do not help me find an escape from here, your husband will die."
How could she ever believe I would trust her word? ~You will kill him no matter what I do or do not do!~ Terror gave me the strength to break through her control and send us staggering another few steps forward. Amonet fell again, mewling at the new cuts on her hands---
---and I knew how to defeat her. I knew how to weaken her so much that I could walk through the Hammer before Dan'yel arrived, and keep him safe from her evil. It would not be easy. It would truly be dangerous, very dangerous. But it was a risk I had to take. I could not allow her the chance to kill him. Through the agony she inflicted on me again--- a short agony, by the standards of what I had endured before the maze--- I held tight to my new secret, letting that carry me through the pain.
Amonet limped back into the water room, and crouched down to bathe her hands in the small pool, wincing at the cold. She uncovered her knee and splashed water on the spreading bruise. Sighing, she cupped her hands and drank several long draughts of water, thirsty and still hungry, filling her belly with water to stave off the emptiness within. Then she scuttled backward from the water, hugging herself against the cold as she watched me within her.
~I will kill him. Never doubt that. You have just guaranteed that it will be painful and prolonged.~
I did not answer. The demon growled, then sniffled, patting at her knee with one hand.
We rested there for long minutes. Perhaps an hour or more; perhaps less. Amonet would almost doze, and then she would snap to full wakefulness, shaking and wincing, sending epithets in my direction for the lack of rest. ~Your fault. Your fault. All because of you...~
I curled tighter. Waiting.
She could not stay awake forever. She tried, oh, she tried. But finally, she drifted off into a light, restless doze, and I nearly fell asleep with her. It would have been wonderful to rest again, to be numb and unaware. ~No. There will be time for rest after she is dead. After I leave this place. Alone.~
My fingers curled around one of the sharper rocks which littered the shore, holding it tightly. Then I rose to my feet, unsteady but determined.
I reached the corridor before she awakened. And at the first feeling of awareness, I slashed the rock across the back of my arm, slicing open my skin. She shrieked inside of us, while I ignored the pain, gritting my teeth, setting my jaw, and was rewarded by achieving the entrance to the serpent room.
~You will pay for this! You will PAY!~ We had stopped, and she tried to drop the stone from my hand so she could cradle her damaged arm. But I held desperately to the one thing I controlled, and the pain of the slash distracted her enough that she could not dislodge my grip. "What are you *doing*?" she demanded, shaking her head, trying to open my fingers.
~Stopping you.~ I held onto the stone. I held on, I held, I held as she punished me, like claws in my mind, slashing at me, making pain bleed into me, but she had to stop when her strength failed her again. And I still clutched the stone in my hand. She let our arm fall, and I deflected the angle of my hand just enough to rip through her gold dress, scraping the leg beneath. Amonet cried out, and I rushed forward, gaining five more steps before she halted us again.
~Stop it stop it stop it *stop*~ The demon's thoughts were panicked. ~STOP~
~Make me.~ I clutched the stone tighter, feeling the edges bite coldly into my skin, and Amonet howled. The demon who had inflicted torture on me could not bear pain herself.
~You will lose, Amonet,~ I said with deadly certainty. ~Because *you* are weak. You can not endure what I have taken as my daily bread.~
"No," she whispered, shaking. "No, no no no no---"
~Yes.~ Steeling myself, I brought my arm up again--- and slashed along the inside of my wrist, a long, ragged cut that made her scream aloud.
Twelve steps. Another round of punishment from the demon within me. When Amonet turned to flee the room as I tried to regain my strength, she came slamming to the floor as I exerted control over one knee. She lay there, sobbing without breath at what even I admitted would be stunning pain, while I clutched blindly for the control of our body.
She tried to stand up, and I would not allow it.
~We are not walking anywhere. Except through the Hammer.~
"Never," she snarled, gasping. "Never. You dream. Never."
I reached out one arm, bringing the hand with the rock down onto the floor. Then I jerked one knee forward, toward the exit of the serpent room, toward the Hall of Molnir. ~I dream. Yes. And you can not stop that either, Amonet.~
She balked, pushing me back with a burst of strength, leaving us sitting back on our knees. Amonet hugged herself one-handedly, wincing at the pain. "You can not hope to win. Even now, you can not walk to that door."
~I thought I could wait for Dan'yel. But you proved me wrong, when you threatened him,~ I admitted. Then, more grimly, ~But I am not wrong in this: every injury to this body weakens you. You can not _help_ but speed the healing of it. That is why you demons live so long within our bodies, is it not? You make it stronger once you are within. And you weaken only a little, for a time. But we have not eaten, or slept. More weakness that your nature forces you to make up for. And you have punished me, wasting more strength. You will grow weaker, and weaker, and I will grow stronger. And I *will* reach the Hammer.~
She threw a tantrum, finally loosening my hold on the stone, throwing it away and sending fire through my awareness. But even as my ba' suffered, she could not regain enough control of our legs to stand. We lay on the marble floor, panting, and when the pain subsided to a dull ache, I raised our head and crawled through the doorway to the Hall of Molnir. Before Amonet reasserted control, I stretched my fingers and picked up the stone again, stabbing her in the calf and leaving a puncture wound that spurted blood for a moment, frightening us both.
~You will damage yourself beyond all healing,~ she howled, locking our limbs in place. ~We will die, and your Dan'yel will not come for you...~
~No. No. He will...~
"Stop this! Stop... Look at the Unas, do you wish to become that?" she said aloud, interrupting me and gesturing to the corpse near the Hammer. "I tell you we will *die* if you continue like this!"
I fought. I fought, forcing the words out of my throat with blind concentration. "Better... dead.... than carrying you.... forever...."
~Wait!~ she screamed within us. ~You do not need to do this, it is unnecessary, do you not see? We can stay here, and eventually, someone will find us, rescue us--- We will go back to the pool, and soak in the water, and the pain will cease---~
"No." I did not waste any more words, forcing one knee forward, feeling the pain now as she did. Not agony, but painful, yes. I scraped my fingernails raw against the floor, clawing another hand forward. The other knee buckled, and we fell on our side, Amonet crying in pain at the stitch forming under our ribs. I lay there listlessly as she tried to punish me again--- but her flagging energy would not allow her to do so for long. ~Torment me as much as you like. You only weaken yourself further.~
She snarled, sending a jolt of strength to our limbs, pushing herself to a sitting position, then swaying and crying as she attempted to turn back.
We sat, frozen, fighting within our body, vibrations shaking us as I tried to go forward and she tried to flee. I could not even raise the stone to cut our body again; and she dared not punish me any longer. Like walking through a sandstorm, with each foot slipping, blindness before you and a howling in your ears, we fought each other, neither gaining the advantage. Amonet was still crying softly, in choked sobs of frustration that were harsh in the quiet of the room--- and every once in a while, I would feel the prick of tears in my eyes, taste the salt on my lips, and feel the painful intake of breath within me, then fight even harder through the pain.
A sound of grinding stone on stone outside the room broke the concentration between us, and Amonet swallowed, shocked.
~Dan'yel!~ ~No!~ Panic again gave her desperate strength. A lightening bolt of pain lanced through me, making me writhe soundlessly, helplessly, as we heard footsteps approach the doorway before us.
"Sha'uri!"
"Dan'yel," Amonet sobbed, opening her eyes. "Husband...."
~Dan'yel, no!~ I wept, voiceless, horror-struck, as the demon smiled at my husband.
Sam:
Daniel had already taken a step forward to go through the arch before I grabbed his arm. "Daniel, that's not Sha'uri."
"What? No, it's her, lemme go Sam! I have to help---"
"She's on the other side of the Hammer! She still has the Goa'uld inside of her, don't you see?" He tried to tug his arm free, but I held on, yanking him to a stop as I tried to get him to look at me. He wouldn't do it. The only thing that he would look at was Amonet weeping on the stone floor of the labyrinth.
Whatever we'd expected to find when we got there, it hadn't been this. Amonet's perfectly maintained gold dress was torn, her arms and legs were stained with fresh blood from a dozen scratches and open wounds, her hair was tangled and her eyes were swollen with crying. Even in the uncertain light in the Hall of Molnir, she looked like she'd been through hell. But of course all Daniel saw was his wife, which made him want to rush forward and comfort her. Amonet must have been counting on that. ~I could really *hate* this person.~ "She's playing on your sympathies, Daniel, she wants you to get close enough to hurt you! Think about this, please!"
He stopped struggling with me, his shoulders sagging in disappointment as the truth sank in. Amonet still crouched on the stone floor, weeping heartbrokenly. Clever of her. I wished I was wrong, wished that I didn't have to say it to Daniel; it was so hard to look at his face, crushed with hurt as he realized the truth. He pulled away from me, closing his eyes so he didn't have to look at Amonet, and my heart ached for him. "God... You're right. I'm an idiot."
"I'm sorry. We'll make it quick, I swear---"
"Husband, it is I! Why do you not come to me?" Amonet demanded, sniffling back tears and glaring accusingly at me. "You must not let this women stop you---"
"Stop." Daniel spat out the word and I flinched, as well as Amonet. I forget, sometimes, that underneath all that distraction and enthusiasm is someone who's done some pretty extreme things in the last two years. "Just stop. We know you're lying." He took a deep breath and turned back to me, dropping his voice so Amonet wouldn't overhear, I think. "I don't want to hurt her more than we have to, Sam. Can we just get this over with?"
"Sure, Daniel. Don't worry, we'll make it fast." I dropped my pack by the doorway, and shed my jacket to prepare for what we had to do. "I think we'd better just drag her through this door---"
"*Hold*." My head whipped around and Daniel made a choking noise. The voice coming from Sha'uri was pure Goa'uld, but it was the sight that greeted my eyes that had stopped Daniel from breathing for a second.
Amonet's eyes were glowing golden-hot, her mouth was pulled back in a snarl; and in one hand, she held a sharp, blood-stained rock--- pressed against her own throat. Sha'uri's throat. Panic flared in me. "Oh, God," I gulped, and I reached up and got a good grip on Daniel's arm; he looked like he wanted to dive through the Hammer for Sha'uri the second he saw that rock.
To come so far, and have it end here, like this--- ~God, please, don't let this happen, let me think of something...~ I didn't have a 'Zat gun. I didn't have a tranquilizer dart, or even a Taser. ~Why didn't I think of this, why? There has to be a way around it, there has to....~ If Colonel O'Neill had been there, I knew he'd have known how to handle it. How to talk Amonet down, trick her, something, anything--- but all I could feel was panic. Amonet had nothing to lose. She had to know we were going to kill her. It would be just like a Goa'uld, to take the host with it.... one last final revenge.
"Let her go," Daniel said softly, staring Amonet straight in the eye. "Please. You have to let her go." He sank to his knees, and I felt sick. No one's voice should sound that raw, that defenseless. No one's. Especially not Daniel's. "I'm begging you. Don't hurt her. Just... don't hurt her. Please. Anything you want, we'll give you. Just please, please, don't kill my wife..." His eyes never wavered from his wife's for a single instant, and I dug my fingernails into my palms to keep from shrieking at the unfairness of the situation.
"*Not until you break the Hammer,*" Amonet retorted, pressing the rock harder against her neck. I couldn't tell if she'd broken the skin, or if the red there was old blood. "*You must find a way to break it, and set me free. Or your wife will---*"
I can't really describe what I saw next, but it was like... a ripple; a wave, maybe the muscles under the skin tensing up, I don't know. She jerked, her whole body shaking convulsively. The glow in her eyes died, flared, then died again. "What the---"
"Sha'uri," Daniel whispered, hope burning on his face. He swallowed hard, then breathlessly said, "Sha'uri, it's me, Daniel. Come to me. Fight her. You can do this, I know you can---"
Another ripple, or seizure, and then--- she got to her feet. Her hand jerked away from her neck, back to it; and one foot slid forward. Fear swam across her face, then anger, then fear again.
"*Nooooooo*!" The Goa'uld tightened her fingers around the rock, and I pulled Daniel back to the far side of the Hammer, keeping him well out of danger. It didn't do anything to change his expression. I think it would've taken a nuclear bomb to change the jubilation he was feeling.
"She's fighting back. Sha'uri's fighting her!"
"I can't believe this." I stared, stunned at the conflict I was seeing, remembering my own helpless fight. ~Come to think of it, how did she get *this* far?... Holy Hannah. That's why she's all bloody! Amonet must have fought her every inch of the way.... ~ I'd tried to fight Jolinar, and failed. I could only imagine how desperate Sha'uri was, to have come so far... ~God, Sha'uri, what you've been through.... I can just barely guess, though I don't think anyone else can....~ "Daniel, she can kill Sha'uri with one move! *Don't* get any closer. Don't. We have to think of something--"
Daniel:
I know Sam was trying to keep me in one piece, as well as Sha'uri, but she didn't seem to understand that my life didn't matter. That my pride didn't matter. I could beg, I could plead, anything. Anything, as long as Amonet let Sha'uri go. The only thing that mattered was getting through to my wife. Because in spite of everything, in spite of the odds against it, Sha'uri was incredibly, amazingly, winning. She was going to win. "Love. Sha'uri. Wife. Beloved. Please. Please come to me. Just a little farther, just a few more steps, I'm right here---"
"*I forbid this*!" Another jerking step forward, and then the hand holding the rock arced downward and gashed across the back of her hand. Sha'uri was fighting her captor again, and I almost cheered. Amonet gasped, hissing, her eyes glowing again as she shook, and then---
"I am... Sha'uri!" Her lips firmed, and her chin came down in the way I knew so well as she clenched her teeth together.
Crazy joy started welling up inside me. With every step she came closer, and my heart pounded harder Another step. The rock wove dizzily, horrifyingly sharp in the air, somewhere between her heart and her neck, and the three of us watched, none of us daring to move. ~God, no, don't let her die now, please, please...~ I could feel myself shaking, barely breathing I was so scared. "Yes. Yes. Come on, love. Come to me. Almost there. Come on, Sha'uri, I love you, come on, come on---"
"Sha'uri.... I am... Sha'uri..." Tears were pouring down her face, but her eyes stayed fixed on us, and the doorway in between us. I was always amazed at how strong she was. How brave. And now---- God, she was just... awe-inspiring. "Sha'uri... I am.... Sha'uri..." She came to a stop six feet from the door, and I swallowed, feeling Sam's fingers dig into my arm. Even now, Amonet could kill her, or turn and run---
It took every bit of strength I had, *not* to run through that door. Not to just reach out and grab her, pull Sha'uri through. One wrong move, and it could be over. Amonet might push me away, slash Sha'uri's wrists, and I would lose her forever. I stared into her eyes, willing her to remember me, willing her to reach for me, to say my name, anything, to know I loved her, that I wanted to help, but didn't dare reach for her.... Sha'uri-Amonet just shook, her hands clutching that rock, sobbing as she looked at us with tear-blind eyes. I couldn't breathe. I actually couldn't breathe, because it hurt too much.
Orpheus looked back at Eurydice, and she was pulled back to the Underworld. One mistake, and I'd lose Sha'uri.
I didn't reach for her. I whispered, "Ashee tenet vui ero, mesoli." It was what I would say, back on Abydos, when she asked me if I would ever leave her, like the heroes in the stories. ~I rest only in your heart, my wife....~ I held myself still, hoping she would know what that meant. ~ I trust you, Sha'uri. I believe in you. I love you. I never stopped.~
Sha'uri's eyes widened, and her lips drew tight, and then the purest rage I have ever seen on anyone flashed in her eyes. "I. ... want... my life!" She opened her hand, dropping the rock, and then she pitched forward into the doorway of the Hammer.
A wall of crimson light flared, trapping her instantly, holding her suspended, and then Sha'uri screamed. Or Amonet screamed. It didn't matter which, because God, it was awful. I never want to hear that sound again. It just went on, and on, and on---
"Sha'uri!" I felt like I was the one being tortured, shaking with her as she howled. Sam had her arms around me, holding me back. "Beloved I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just hang on---" I was crying now, it took me a second to realize that Sam was crying too. I grabbed her hand, hanging on like it was a lifeline, and she squeezed my fingers back, while we helplessly watched Sha'uri being burned from the inside out.
Sha'uri. .. and Amonet:
I'm dying I'm dying Oh, gods, true gods of my fathers, help me, it hurts, it hurts so much
~NO~
Please, let me be strong, please
~I will *not* die!~
Dan'yel needs me, I can not leave him, I can not die It hurts oh gods it hurts
~I will never leave....stop this! Stop it!~
I want to live, I want to live, let me live through this, please, oh please
~I am Amonet! Queen of the Goa'uld! I. .. will not... die....~
I want my life I want my home I want my husband I want my child! I am. .. Sha'uri!
~...Nooooooo....!~
Daughter of Kasuf and Mir'ya! Sister of Skaara! Wife of Dan'yel!
~...No! No! No!......~
Mother of a child I was not allowed to name! *Damn* you! I WANT MY LIFE BACK, DAUGHTER OF DEMONS! DIE, DAMN YOU!
~....no.... no.. please.... nooooooo.....~
Die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die!
~howlllllllllllllllll~
Return to your husband, Amonet. Meet him in the Hall of Judgement, and wander there until the jackals of the afterlife consume you both. My Dan'yel is waiting for me....
~. ........ ~ ~. .. ~ ~. ~ ~~
And he loves me still. ****
The Hammer's blows ceased, and for a moment I stood suspended, my body too overwhelmed to understand that the torture was over. Then I crumpled, shadows clouding my vision, but before I reached the ground, Dan'yel caught me. I could feel his hands smoothing back my hair, his voice calling my name, and his tears on my face. And nowhere in any of it did I hear Amonet's mockery, or sense her presence. Only the warmth of Dan'yel's arms around me, and the concern in the voice of his friend.
~Farewell, Amonet. Forever....~
It was very important to let Dan'yel know that I was well. I forced my eyes open, and tried to say his name, but couldn't. My throat was too dry, and my chest too sore, but I moved my lips, hoping he would understand.
He smiled the smile that was only for me, always, and kissed my forehead. "Yes, Sha'uri. It's me. You are going to be okay, beloved. We're going to take you home." I closed my eyes, nodding, too tired for antying else, and he whispered, "I love you, Sha'uri," as I drifted away to sleep alone for the first time in far too long.
Sam:
Daniel is being way too quiet. He's been too quiet ever since we were in the cave. The man who is never at a loss for words, even if they're in a dead language, is giving an imitation of a stone totem that Teal'c would envy. I know why, but I can't reassure him. I can tell him that Sha'uri's going to survive this, I can tell him that we'll get around Kennedy and the N.I.D., and I can even tell him that I won't be court-martialed (though that's stretching it), and I can mean every word. But I can't ease his real worries, the ones that are keeping him silent as we drive through the snow.
I look up at the stars racing by above us and marvel. Gairwyn really came through when she said she was going for help: she got us a sleigh. A sleigh pulled by reindeer, no less, with giants driving it. Well, they might as well be giants, they're absolutely huge. I understand the fear of Vikings a lot better, now. This is like something out of a fairy-tale; the happily-ever-after part, that you never get to see because it's too nice and easy. I can deal with easy right now, though.
Usually Daniel would be more distracted by and interested in the sleigh than I could ever be, but right now he's not looking around us at the darkened mountain scenery whizzing by, or studying the sleigh. He's still fussing with Sha'uri. He pulled the bear--- okay, some kind of fuzzy mammal--- robes around her as tight as he could, and wrapped another one around her head to cover her ears and throat, and now he's trying to get those wooly mittens on her without disturbing her bandages.
"Daniel? Those are too small."
"What?" He glances up at me sharply, startled, and I hold out the pair Gairwyn gave me. "I just---"
"Try these, I think they'll fit better over her wrists."
"Oh. Thanks." One of his quick, relieved smiles shines through for half a second, and then he's frowning again, tucking his wife in, holding her close. Concentrating on all the details of keeping her warm and comfortable so he can forget the real worries he confided to me back in the maze.
When Sha'uri had finally stopped screaming, and moments later, the red light engulfing her had disappeared, Sha'uri had taken one deep breath, then fallen out of the Hammer into Daniel's arms, almost immediately fainting. Small wonder. I don't know if it was the effects of Amonet's death, or the trauma of the last few days, but I *was* sure that the blood loss couldn't have been helping. "Daniel, let's get her inside the room, the light's better there. Okay?"
"Hmmm?" Daniel didn't even look at me, just held her closer and kept stroking her hair, and I wanted to laugh-- from joy, from relief, and giddiness-- but I knew we weren't out of the woods, and we didn't have time to delay treating Sha'uri's injuries.
"Daniel, some of those cuts are pretty deep. We have to get them cleaned up and get Sha'uri warm to prevent her from going into shock."
"Oh. Right. Of course you're right." Daniel's face went from incredulous gratitude to the universe, to near-frantic worry again as he stood up, and I could've bitten my tongue. The Colonel's right; sometimes I do think too much. And talk too much. But it had to be said. Unfortunately, none of our combined doctoral degress are in medicine; I would've felt a lot better if Janet had been there.
I grabbed his pack and followed him into the maze, stopping inside the next room beside the carved wall dripping with clear water. "Wait, stop, Daniel. I'll lay out our bedrolls here; it's not too cold in this room, and the water's convenient. We'll stay here tonight and leave tomorrow morning."
"Okay. That sounds good. Yeah."
Daniel wasn't distracted; Daniel was focused. Focused on Sha'uri, nothing else. He hadn't taken his eyes off her once as we walked into the labyrinth, seeming to navigate by radar and peripheral vision in order to avoid the walls. I rolled out Daniel's sleeping bag, and he knelt and laid Sha'uri down as if she would fall into a thousand pieces if he wasn't incredibly careful.
"Is she going to be okay?" Daniel's voice was shaky. I looked up from the first aid kit I was pillaging, but my immediate reassurance died on my lips. He was still staring at Sha'uri, his fingers tracing the edges of her face, his entire body tense. "She has to be okay, Sam. She has to be."
"I know. I know she does, Daniel."
"I can't believe this is real." He laughed a little, his voice choked, but his eyes remained clear and steady on his wife as he took off his jacket, hurriedly wrapping it around her. "I've dreamed this, imagined it so many times--- I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop." He let out a shuddering breath, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses, then blinking them open to gaze at Sha'uri again.
I studied her a second while I got the medical supplies together. I'd only met Sha'uri once, back on Abydos, at the same time I first met Daniel. She'd struck me as one of the more beautiful women I'd ever seen, kind of quiet, and shy.
And for most of the last two years, she'd been living in the same prison in which I spent 36 horrible hours. I was lucky: aside from being trapped, Jolinar didn't hurt me, and I didn't have any major actions to regret or apologize for after that experience. By comparison, Sha'uri had been trapped, used, subjected to god-knows what kind of pain, forced to watch herself do what were probably terrible things, isolated from everyone she loved for far longer than I ever was--- and after all that, she'd still had the guts to wrestle Amonet to a standstill. I don't know if Amonet or Sha'uri inflicted the wounds on her arms and legs, but they were a vivid testimony to what she had been willing to endure to get back to Daniel-- and to be free of Amonet.
I'm not a natural optimist, but that seemed like a pretty good sign to me.
"She's going to be just fine," I told him. I got up and walked across the room, getting some of the towels wet in the dripping water so I could clean the blood off of her. "She made it this far. We just have to keep her stable and as comfortable as possible until we're home. Janet will take it from there."
"Assuming Kennedy doesn't catch up to us."
"He hasn't yet, has he? So don't borrow trouble. The Colonel's taking care of him. We just have to take care of Sha'uri." I turned and walked back over to them, handed Daniel a towel, then started wiping the blood off Sha'uri's arms. "Here, you get the cuts on her legs."
A couple of the slices on her arms were serious enough to actually need stitches, I think, but I did the best I could with butterfly strips and gauze wraps and lots of antiseptic. One long, jagged cut was definitely going to scar, and I couldn't help shuddering when I realized how close she'd been to the veins of her wrist. ~Something to hide from Daniel, if possible...~
"Why did Amonet do this? I don't understand. It doesn't make sense if she thought she was going to win." Daniel was gently wiping away the mass of blood on her knees, shaking his head, his voice tight. "Did she want revenge? Did Amonet know Sha'uri was winning, and she wanted to take her with her? I just..."
"I don't know, Daniel." I carefully bound up her hand, then squinted at the pattern of cuts. "Maybe it wasn't all Amonet. Maybe some of it was Sha'uri, fighting her."
"Oh, God. There's an image to give me nightmares," he muttered under his breath.
"Teal'c said something the first time we were here, about the transport into the maze hurting the larva he carries," I thought out loud, hoping he was still paying attention. "I think maybe it could have awakened Sha'uri, and given her a fighting chance against the Goa'uld, once she was in here." He looked up at me at that, seeming to consider it. "I'm just saying, the situation might not be as bad as you think."
"Or it could be a lot worse than we can imagine... especially since she's not awake yet... if she never regains consciousness....." The Colonel will tell you that Daniel with an idea in his head is a scary, scary thing. The only way to get past it is to beat him over the head with facts, or just refuse to consider his theories. I usually go for reason over stubborness, but now was really not the time for that.
"Daniel?" He didn't look at me, just kept cleaning the dried blood off Sha'uri's shin. I grabbed his hand, and his eyes jerked up to mine. I spaced the words out carefully, putting as much feeling as I could into them. "It's going to be *okay*. Got it?"
"You sound like Jack."
I grinned. "And is the Colonel ever wrong?"
"Often. All the time. Lots." Daniel responded emphatically, but the edges of his mouth were turning up.
"But is he ever wrong when he says it's going to be okay?" I demanded of him.
"Well... It's never okay just because he says it will be. That's just him not considering failure an option, like those gung-ho Marine posters---"
"Air Force, Daniel, Air Force. Remember?" I let go of his wrist, and patted his arm. "And I'm saying it in the same way. We are *not* giving up. And we're not expecting to lose. I don't know how we're going to make this right, not yet, but I'm not done trying. Got it?" I repeated, holding his gaze.
"Got it." The ghost of a smile flickered into real life for a second, but I could still see the absolute exhaustion that had prompted his anxiety. "You're going to make Colonel yet, Sam."
"Thanks."
We went back to tending his wife. I dabbed at the spot on her neck where the rock had dug in, and felt myself shiver. Daniel was right--- whatever had taken place here was the stuff of nightmares. At least until we got the full story from Sha'uri. I put the thought from my head, and concentrated on wiping the sweat and tears from her face, checking for signs of a fever, and being relieved that she seemed only a little warmer than normal.
Daniel reached for the bandages, peeling off an adhesive and setting a precise line of Band-Aids along her right knee. When he spoke again, his voice was even quieter than before, with none of the frantic concern I'd been trying to allay. "Sam, how much do you remember of being possessed by Jolinar?" I glanced up, not surprised that he'd asked, but not exactly happy about it. He wasn't looking at me, and I would have said he was absorbed in binding up his wife's ankle, except for the intensity in his voice. "I need to know. I wouldn't ask if I didn't."
I blinked, and thought about it for a second. "Parts of it are clear. The parts she wasn't trying to censor, I guess. Some of it is still hazy--- that scene in the Gateroom, for instance. I can't remember any of that." I looked down at Sha'uri again, and shook my head. "Daniel, you have to stop this. There's no way to know how much she'll remember, or how much damage she'll have taken, until she wakes up. You have to stop torturing yourself."
"I know. I know. I just...." He exhaled heavily. "The suspense is getting to me, I guess. Waiting for what I know she might do when she wakes up."
"Which would be. .. what?"
"Leave." I jerked my head up to study him again, in time to seem him swallow and close his eyes. "Don't argue with me about this, Sam. You said it yourself, when we met Kendra. A Goa'uld possession equals incredible abuse. That's what she's been through, what Kendra went through.... Kendra could have gone back to her people. Married. But she never did. She stayed here, and never looked back. Maybe it was too painful to do anything else. Sha'uri may not want to go back to her old life now, either. She's going to need time to heal by herself, at least. She'll probably want to be with her family."
He opened his eyes, a bleakness seeping into his expression that make him look years older. "And she may never want to see me again. At least, not as her husband." His voice got huskier. "Which would be totally understandable. And I wouldn't blame her. I just want to know what I'm dealing with. I hate surprises...." His voice trailed off into a whisper.
"Daniel..." I think the scariest part was how quiet he was. And how convincing. I could almost believe it would happen like that, just listening to him. I wanted to argue, to say that maybe Kendra was afraid to go back, that there could be other reasons--- but I couldn't be sure. It *could* happen. How could I tell him he was wrong, when it would hurt him worse if he were proved right? "You don't know what's going to happen."
"No. No, I don't." Daniel smiled, a faded relic of the brilliantly happy grin he'd worn when Sha'uri fell into his arms. "But you don't know it's not."
"You have to have faith. She responded to you, she came to you---"
"Maybe. Maybe it was just the memory of who she was that she was reaching for."
"Daniel..."
"Never mind," he whispered, turning back to her. "Forget I said anything." He shrugged fatalistically. "We'll know soon enough, won't we?"
And there was nothing I could say to that. There should have been. But I can't lie to Daniel, and I don't know Sha'uri well enough to guess what's in her mind. I only know what I want to be true.
We slept bundled together, one of us on each side of her for warmth, and she didn't wake at all during the night. I'm pretty sure Daniel never actually slept. When dawn broke, we fashioned a travois out of our packs and started down the mountain back to the Gate.
Sha'uri's faded in and out of consciousness since then, and hasn't said over five words at a time. Mostly "hurts" in Abydonian, Daniel's name, and "cheewan" - home. I'd be worried about her condition, but he's doing enough of that for both of us, and I keep remembering what it was like for me last year; if I could have slept through the aftermath of that, I would have. I really do believe she'll be fine once we get her a transfusion and some antibiotics. I wish I could be as sure about the rest of it.
Luckily, we only had to walk (and drag Sha'uri in a travois) for about twelve hours before we met up with Gairwyn and her hunter friends. Gairwyn had already explained to them what we were doing, and that it was incredibly important that we get back to the Stargate as soon as possible, so as soon as they saw us they practically threw us in the back of the sleigh, bundled us up, and started down the mountain like they were on a luge slide. It's saved us at least a day's travel back, and given Sha'uri an easier ride than she would've gotten in the travois. As well as giving me and Daniel time to rest and come up with stories for the General and Colonel Kennedy when we get back. It's not all that hard, given all the different weirdness we've been through, to think of implausible reasons why we might have done this. The problem is, all the strangest ones have already happened.
"Dan'yel?" I lift my head from the sled, surprised, as Daniel's eyes widen, both of us realizing that Sha'uri sounds stronger and more coherent than she has yet. Her eyes are open, and her voice sounds a lot clearer than last time. I sit up straighter, exchanging a look with Daniel-- hopeful on my part, worried on his.
"Right here, Sha'uri." Daniel's hugging her closer, brushing her hair out of her face, and I suddenly feel like I'm intruding. I'm pretending to find something really interesting in the woods off to our left, but it's so dark I wouldn't be fooling anyone if these two weren't completely intent on each other. "Kireh, mesoli."
"Mesoli." Her eyes are actually open enough to look around this time, and I can see her shaking her head out of the corner of my eye. "Erah ater?"
"Cimmeria. Umm, it's... abeni Earth. Opela vani, far away." Daniel's tucking the robe in around her neck, brow furrowed in concern. "How much do you remember of this place? Sera ilerise ula?"
I can't pretend I'm not paying attention any more; I'm too curious to find out the answer. I re-settle myself under the robe and smile at Sha'uri; she looks around the sleigh, smiling hesitantly at our companions, who grin back at her, and a little less shyly at me.
"We came here through the chappa'ai. The light from the stone took Amonet to the maze. I ger-ah, no, walked... through the Hammer. And Amonet... died." She frowns, searching for the words, or maybe the memories. One hand which was clutching the edge of the robe has moved to finger her neck, and the bandage I taped there. "We fought, to live. She was tired... ehtele tired, yes... and I.... I won." She's still smiling at me, but it's wilder and much less cautious than before, and I grin back. "I would not die, no. I did not let her--- relete vicsa?"
"Kill you," Daniel says quietly. "You wouldn't let her kill you." One arm tightens around her shoulders, and then relaxes.
"No. I did not. Never." Sha'uri turns suddenly, looking Daniel in the face. "I could not leave you, Dan'yel. You came for me," she said in a whisper. "I could not leave you, when you saved me."
Daniel's still too quiet, and that expression isn't entirely happy, like it's supposed to be. ~Say something, Daniel! Anything!~
"You saved yourself." He kisses her forehead, and her eyes are drifting closed. "I was just there to catch you."
"No." Sha'uri's shaking her head again, hanging onto his fingers with one hand. "Dan'yel. I would still be there, if I did not know --- if you did not say---" She lifts her other hand to his face, cupping his jaw, her voice hoarse and desperate, even though I don't understand the words. "Ashee tenet vui ero, mesoli. Ashee tenet vui erolis, Dan'yel." Tears pool in her eyes, and her voice starts to shake. "Only you, my husband. I... missed you."
The tight trying-not-to-hurt look on his face dissolves into the relief and disbelief, hope and love that were there before, when he saw her for the first time at the maze. "Sha'uri... oh, God. I missed you too. So much...."
Time to look away again. They're kissing like the world is ending, and they should have a *Iittle* privacy right now. Gairwyn and her friends are ignoring Daniel and Sha'uri too, which they must have practice at doing, to make it that convincing. Maybe they're used to people kissing in sleighs.
It's easier for me to pretend to ignore them with these tears in my eyes, though. It's too cold to be crying, damnit. They're going to freeze on my face, or stick my eyelashes together, and then I'll be a mess, won't I? I tilt my head back, and finally give up and wipe at my face with the mittens, feeling more moisture falling downward onto my face. For a second, it looks like the stars are falling into my eyes.
"Dan'yel? Fa'lel ayeh?"
The sound of Daniel laughing--- unconstrained by fear, or worry, or attempts to pretend--- makes me look at them again. Sha'uri has an expression of confused wonder on her face, and Daniel... Daniel is lit up. Like Christmas. Like New Year's. Like a neon Valentine's Day. You can actually be so happy for someone else that your heart hurts, did you know that?
"Snow, mesoli. Care`. Snow." He kisses her temple, watching her in delight, then he catches my eye and smiles again, and whispers, "Thanks, Sam."
"Any time." Yup. Any time. ~Worth it. All worth it.~
"Snow," Sha'uri repeats softly, holding out her hand to catch it. And then she laughs like a kid, and turns to hug Daniel, hard.
Major General Hammond:
"Off-planet activation of the wormhole, sir. Incoming travelers.... it's SG-1's signal!"
"Open the iris." I pressed the P.A. button for the infirmary. "Security and medical teams to the embarkation room, now! SG-1 has returned from off-planet. I repeat, SG-1 has returned." I could hear small exclamations of shock behind me as the iris began to open--- disturbances which were probably echoing and building throughout the SGC at my announcement. Doubtless Colonel Kennedy was already on his way to the Control Room; even as I watched, the door to the 'Gate Room opened and Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c entered at a run.
I ignored all of this, keeping my attention on the Stargate, unwilling to celebrate until I had proof that celebrations were in order. The political realities that awaited the absent team in a few minutes weren't about to leave me alone, either. Sometimes my job doesn't allow me the luxury of relief right away, no matter how glad I always am to see a team return safely.
In spite of that, I could feel a smile threatening to break free as I contemplated the expedition for which Colonel Kennedy had just obtained approval to use Groom Lake personnel. ~No need to search for those who were never lost, Colonel. And what a shame that is.~
Colonel O'Neill paced in front of the ramp where Teal'c had assumed an attitude of parade rest, while more SGC personnel than was strictly called for somehow decided that they had business in the Control Room. After the security team took their positions, I ordered the 'Gate Room doors closed to all but the in-transit medical personnel, so they'd be able to make their way to the embarkation room without hindrance. Twice the number of people that were usually present were crowding into the overlooking Control Room, as well as spilling over into the corridors. I suspect that they'd also taken over the Briefing Room above us by the time the ripples across the Stargate's surface parted to release the travelers. I should have ordered them out--- but it just would have prolonged the process of dealing with the returning team; and I think everyone needed to know our wandering sheep were back home in one piece.
When Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter finally walked through the portal they were supporting the bandaged and limping form of Jackson's wife, Sha'uri. And no, I didn't for a moment doubt that's who it was. I've seen enough Goa'uld in my time to recognize the attitude on sight, and this woman didn't project any of the arrogance of the person my people dragged out of the SGC three days before. She looked tired, hurt, confused, scared--- and just like a hundred other refugees we've seen come through the Stargate. ~Colonel Kennedy is out of luck. Good. I don't have to worry about keeping O'Neill from breaking his neck when he asks to take her out of here. Kennedy doesn't have the justification to try any more.~ Not that that would stop him, probably. I was definitely going to have to make some phone calls before he did.
"Welcome back, Dr. Jackson, Major Carter." Jackson's and Carter's heads snapped up to look at me as the wormhole dissolved behind them, and I almost laughed. The last time I'd seen anything like their expressions, it was on my then-teen-aged son and his older sister--- the former having wrapped my Cadillac around a telephone pole before he got his driver's license, and the latter having just bailed him out of the County lock-up without telling me. The guilty, defiant look on Dr. Jackson's face was an exact copy of my son's when I confronted them, and the wary apology in Major Carter's eyes put me very much in mind of my overly-responsible oldest daughter. ~Oh, yes, you're in for it now, people. Don't think you're not. This isn't over yet.~
Whatever else I might have said was being drowned in the cheers around me, anyway. Time for recriminations later, not while everyone was shouting and jumping up and down.
"Daniel!" Jack O'Neill bounded up the platform, and I caught a glimpse of his expression: he was grinning so widely you could damn near see the insides of his ears. Dr. Jackson's face dissolved in relief, and Sha'uri Jackson smiled hesitantly as Major Carter returned her CO's grin. "You did it!"
"Yes. Yes we did," Jackson said, bobbing his head, smiling nervously as Major Carter gave up her position supporting Mrs. Jackson to Colonel O'Neill, and exchanged victorious smiles with Teal'c, still standing guard at the end of the ramp. "How much trouble are we in?" Jackson I heard him ask in a lower voice, looking around the 'Gate Room for MPs to come out and arrest him, probably.
"Not as much as you could've been if you hadn't staggered back on your own," O'Neill responded, matching Jackson's tone as he took Sha'uri's arm. "But now? Piece of cake. Hey, Sha'uri," he added gently. "How are you doing?"
"O'Neill." Lovely smile that girl has; I only hoped she wouldn't receive such a bad impression of Earth in the next few hours that it would disappear altogether. "It is good to be seeing you. Again."
"Oh, but not as good as it is to see you, lady. Nowhere near. Trust me on that."
By the time they hit the bottom of the ramp, the Control Room had filled to capacity with people applauding and cheering, and it's a good thing that Dr. Fraiser wields authority enough for someone twice her size, or her team never would've made it through the crush in the hallway, even as Teal'c moved to act as a barrier for most of the people at the door.
"Out of the way! Let us get through here, you big--- *thank* you. All right, someone help Mrs. Jackson onto the gurney. We're going straight to the infirmary. And yes, Dr. Jackson, you're going with her," she added, before the anthropologist had more than a chance to open his mouth, "because you're up next."
"I'm fine, nothing happened to me---"
"Mmm-hmmm. Humor me, Daniel. I *know* you." Dr. Fraiser segued from a quelling glance at Dr. Jackson to doing a preliminary visual check of Mrs. Jackson without missing a beat. "You're getting a full check-up as soon as I'm satisfied your wife is going to be okay. No arguments."
"Hey, you can give her Daniel's bed," Colonel O'Neill suggested as he, Teal'c, and Major Carter followed the medical personnel out of the room. "Keep it in the family---"
"Dan'yel? Erai se-ter bed?" Sha'uri Jackson asked, leaning back onto the gurney with a bemused expression.
"O'Neill ve la wellelee, Sha'uri. Joking. Definitely." Jackson had time to shoot Colonel O'Neill a dirty look that had Major Carter smothering laughter before SG-1 was whisked out of the Gate Room toward the infirmary.
I was still smiling, my arms crossed over my chest, when Colonel Kennedy burst into the Control Room. "Where are they? Where's Amonet?"
"She's not Amonet any more, Colonel Kennedy," I told him as severely as possible. "At least, there's a strong probability that she isn't. So you can just hold your horses until Dr. Fraiser has finished her exam---"
Some people can't be warned. Kennedy was out of the room before I finished my sentence, most likely off to the infirmary. Shaking my head grimly, I pointed at two airmen who had witnessed the confrontation. "You two, follow him, and don't let him take *any* action until I'm down there. There's a few people I have to call before I talk to him again. Clear?" They nodded and hurried to catch up to the Colonel and his attaches as I stalked back to my office.
What the Joint Chiefs of Staff have granted, they can take away, and permission to remove Amonet from the SGC didn't equal permission to take Sha'uri Jackson. Time to get that in writing.
Dr. Janet Fraiser:
Every time SG-1 comes back from off-planet, I end up with one of them in the infirmary. It never fails; sometimes they don't even have to go through the Stargate, and one of them will *still* end up in my sickbay at the end of the week. Never mind the occasions when it's all of them at once because they've just come back from the dead or been exposed to the newest virus or weapon, or on one memorable occasion, when they weren't human any more. These people are some of my best friends, but I'm telling you, if they weren't US armed forces personnel they'd never get medical coverage.
At least this time it's not an actual team member who's hurt, though from the behavior of the others, she might as well be. God knows she's more important to Daniel than his own health, and Sam and Jack have put their careers on the line for her sake and Daniel's. Right now, I'm just glad they're back, and that the SGC can quit trying everything they can think of to circumvent that pain in the ass Kennedy.
Except that one tiny, tiny part of me is shaking with nerves.
"I want all non-essential personnel out of the infirmary within the next five minutes. I mean it, anyone not critically injured or actively treating patients is officially prohibited from coming in. Understood?"
I got nods all around from my staff, except that other members of SG Teams and the SGC were still coming through the entrance, despite shooing motions on my part and Colonel O'Neill's. "This is nuts! Yates, help Captain MacIntyre get the rest of SG-9 out of here. Matthews, page Dr. Warner, and I want you here to assist, but the rest of you, you're on break. Out! Out! I know you want to know what's going on, but it has to wait--- Could I have someone big enough to block this door stand *right* here?"
A presence that overwhelms an already impressive physique took up a guard position in front of the doors in response to my request, and I couldn't help but grin. "Thanks, Teal'c."
"It is my pleasure, Dr. Fraiser," he said, bowing his head slightly to me, then turning to impassively block the entranceway. "I will allow no one to pass, unless it is a medical emergency."
"And that *definitely* includes Colonel Kennedy," I told him, seeing a small smile curve his mouth before I turned to deal with my newest patient. Who also happened to be one of my most important, in some ways.
"Hello, I didn't get a chance to introduce myself in all that mess in the Gateroom," I said, offering my hand to Sha'uri, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as she tentatively touched my palm, then withdrew. God knows she's been through enough without getting intimidated by medical practices at the SGC, so I didn't follow up on the contact, just gripped the metal rails on her bed. Jack perched on the bed across from her, and Sam sat down next to him. ~I should kick them out too, but fat chance they'd listen...~ Siamese twins don't stick closer than SG-1 teammates when one of them is hurt. "I'm Dr. Fraiser. Janet, to my friends. I'm going to be taking care of your health while you're here on Earth."
Sha'uri Jackson stared at me with large, dark eyes, still wary and distrustful, then turned to Daniel and said something in Abydonian that I couldn't understand. Her husband immediately shook his head, squeezing her hand and glancing back at me apologetically as he briefly spoke to her in the same language, then in English. "No, no. Janet's not going to put anything in you, or do anything to you, Sha'uri. They just want to--- sykera ba, sykera ka-le. Take pictures of your insides. To be sure that Amonet is gone, and make certain that you are okay."
"Oh." Her shoulders relaxed, and she looked back at me, a little less afraid then before. I'd never even seen a picture of her, before they brought her to the SGC a few days ago, but she has that kind of memorable Arabian Nights beauty that usually gets played by a French movie star with perfect teeth if you see it on-screen. In spite of that, I think the first thing anyone would notice about Sha'uri was her wariness, and the caution that went with it-- sizing up everything that moved in her vicinity, alert any inherent threat. The way former prisoners of war act in new situations. To judge from the Colonel's expression, he'd noticed it too, and it hadn't stirred up any pleasant memories.
~Don't let them see your reaction to that. Especially since Sha'uri has someone to cling to--- and he's hanging onto her right back.~ Daniel looked frazzled, exhausted, stretched to the breaking point, and ecstatic. I'd bet serious money that he hadn't really slept since he and Sam hijacked the Control Room three days ago, or eaten more than Sam pushed on him... and I'd never, ever seen him look happier.
Which fed back into why I was nervous. ~Remember Major Kowalsky? And Jolinar stowing away in Sam? You thought everything was fine with them, too... We can't miss anything this time. Not when it's this important.~ Especially not with Colonel Kennedy huffing on the doors outside, with only Teal'c keeping him from blowing them in. I was going to be *damn* sure that Amonet was truly dead and truly gone before I let that man get within five inches of my med lab.
"Sha'uri, we need to do a medical examination of you, including an MRI scan. It's not going to be very pleasant, but it shouldn't actually hurt, and Daniel will be here the whole time." I waited until Daniel translated most of that, including a gesture toward the MRI wide-body scanner we had just gotten in, before I went on. "This should take only about fifteen minutes. I'm sorry, but I need you to be be wearing one of our robes, and to remove all of this jewelry before we can begin--- you can go behind the screen there to change."
"It is fine," she responded calmly. "I do not want this dress, or the jewels. They were hers. Amonet's. You will keep them, yes?"
"Ummm.. Sure. Do you need any help undressing? I don't want you to disturb the bandage on your neck or wrist just yet, and I need to take your blood pressure and temperature, too."
"Yes, please. Dan'yel, cui ewe telre?"
"Shee wah, right here. I'll be right here for the whole time, mesoli."
You could blind a crowd of paparazzi with the smile she gave him, and I caught Sam swallowing a giggle and Jack smirking as I lead Sha'uri behind the screen. ~Probably laughing at the blitzed look on Daniel's face....~ Jack gave Daniel a hard time about how long it took them to get back from Cimmeria while I helped Sha'uri shed Amonet's robes. And got a nasty surprise.
Once she shed the furred cloak she'd been hugging around herself, I could see that far too much of her had to be bandaged or covered with gauze, and that some of the skin beneath her dress were sporting Band-Aids and tape too. ~I'm going to have to ask how this happened *after* we get the MRI scan. But it looks like Sam put that refresher course to good use.~
Nothing else stood out; no noticeable bumps or contusions that would indicate a symbiote's presence, at least. She still had the long entry-wound scar, and probably always would, but the rest of the classic external indicators were missing. The hospital gown covered everything it really needed to, even if the bandages were more obvious, so after explaining the procedures and taking her blood pressure (too low, but she probably needed a transfusion) and temp (only a little high), I lead her over to the MRI bed. Matthews, having kept a thankfully cool head during this latest crisis, had already fired up the computer imaging program and taken Sam to another cubicle to give her the preliminary standard post-mission exam. "Daniel, do you want to come over here?"
"Yes." He pulled a chair next to the scanner and straddled it as I got Sha'uri settled into the scanner bed, and then calmed her nerves while I checked the settings for the program. "This will all be over soon, sweetheart. Keentanquin tenem, y vere. Over. I'll be right here, if you get scared."
"Okay--- now lie very, very still, Mrs. Jackson." I started the program on the machine, then deliberately uncurled my fingers from the fists they want to clench into. ~Just work, just prove we're right, prove what I already know....~
"Hui ve Missis Jak'son?" Sha'uri whispered to Daniel before the scanner starts moving her into the circular frame of the machine.
"Cui erah Mrs. Jackson, Sha'uri. Shee erah oye resa. My family." He leaned his head on the back of the chair and smiled secretively at her, a smile she returned as her body disappeared from view.
Jack wandered over to look over my shoulder, probably more concerned than I was that we got proof Amonet was gone. "How do things look?"
"Too soon to tell. You know it takes more than a few minutes, Colonel."
"Yeah, yeah..." He was grumbling, but the smug smile wasn't fading yet. He lowered his voice as he leaned in to me. "You *do* have those little Goa'uld-killers now, in case there's a problem?"
"Managed to finesse one page-turner packet out of Area 51 forty-eight hours ago. Just in case. Dr. Emerson signed off on the order for me, one CMO to another." I quirked an eyebrow at him. "I doubt Colonel Maybourne knows."
"Cool."
Sam joined us a few minutes later, Matthews having finished her pre-lim exam. "Anything?"
"Back-seat doctors only make me nervous, people," I said evenly. "We'll know in. .. thirty minutes, maybe. After the machine is done with Daniel's scan."
"I don't have to have one, do I? We didn't come in contact with any other Goa'uld---"
"Standard procedure, Daniel. You know that. And I am doing *everything* by the book on this one. Sam will have to go through it too." I smiled at Sam. "Speaking of which. How are you doing?"
"Me? I'm fine. Tired, I mean, we hiked a lot through the forest on Cimmeria, and I couldn't really sleep in the sleigh---"
"Sleigh-rides?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows. "With reindeer and elves, maybe?"
"Reindeer, yes. Elves, no. More like giants." Sam grinned in response to his look, and I stifled a smile at the image. "But otherwise, I'm fine. Daniel didn't sleep much, though. And I had to keep reminding him to eat."
"I ate. We had some of that stew, with Gairwyn. That was pretty good." And if it rated that high a compliment, it was probably the only thing he'd had more than two bites of while he was gone. ~Daniel, sometimes, I *swear* you need a keeper....~
Sha'uri spoke then, from inside the MRI scanner, and I looked up with a frown. "What was that? And remind Sha'uri not to talk, Daniel."
"Uhh... Nothing." Daniel was blushing, and he muttered something soft in Abydonian that I swear had his wife giggling.
Jack grinned. "Daniel? Is Sha'uri nagging you about eating enough already?"
"No!" More hushed giggling from inside the scanner, and Sam's smile threatened to split her face. I kept my smirk under control, glad to see that Sam and the Colonel, seemed to be handling the situation okay, at least right then. Between the two of them, they've got enough experience with Goa'uld possessions to justify a month's worth of PTS flashbacks. An ice cream date with Sam later, and an evening of talking over iced tea and scotch with Jack, could possibly lead to one or the other sharing darker thoughts on the subject--- but I still think a clean resolution for Sha'uri will do more wonders for their nightmare files than any amount of talking will.
"Okay, Mrs. Jackson. All done." I triggered the slide to withdraw from the MRI tube, and she sat up right away, shrugging all over and wincing after the enforced stillness as our head of surgery walked in. "Ahh, Dr. Warner. About time. Take over here and do Dr. Jackson's scan for me, will you? I'm going to have a look at Mrs. Jackson's bruises and cuts now." ~And I'd really rather not have her husband hovering around like a hummingbird while I stick her with needles and stitches, thanks.~
"I'm *fine*. I want to stay with Sha'uri---" Pigheaded as five-year-old, that's our Dr. Jackson.
"Of course you are." Bill Warner's heard this as many times as I have. And he's not stupid either. "It's just routine procedure, Dr. Jackson. The sooner we do it, the sooner it's over."
"Yeah, right." I think the only reason he gave in was that he was too tired to fight properly. ~When this is over, Daniel, we're having a little talk about the effect of disturbed sleep patterns on your health...~
Jack grinned and slouched across the room to lean against the wall next to Sha'uri's bed, as Daniel grumpily climbed into the MRI scanner. "Take it easy, Daniel. I'm right here, making sure Janet doesn't stick Sha'uri more than she has to. No pincushions."
"All right... Thanks, Jack."
"I don't think he's going to relax if Sha'uri's out of his sight for one moment in the next six weeks." Sam perched on the edge of Sha'uri's bed, smiling at my patient, and I was glad to see that her presence and Jack's seemed to make up for Sha'uri's husband going head-first into the exam tube.
"Try six months, Carter."
"I believe I will concur with Colonel O'Neill," Teal'c spoke up from next to the doorway.
"I heard that!"
"Please stay still, Dr. Jackson. That's it...." I grinned as Daniel disappeared out of earshot, restraining myself from making all the obvious comments.
I retrieved my stitch-it kit and a syringe of local anesthetic while this debate was going on, then returned to Sha'uri's bed, wishing that I'd had more time to attend Daniel's last site lecture on the Abydonian and Goa'uld languages. I hate treating people who are as scared of me and my tools as they are of the enemy. "Mrs. Jackson, I don't know how good your English is, maybe I should have Daniel explain---"
"It is... pretty good. Not beautiful, but pretty." I laughed, partly at the rueful look on her face, and then she added, "And I am Sha'uri. Please, I wish to hear my name again. Many times."
~I'll bet you do. No problem.~ "Okay, Sha'uri. If you have any questions, just ask. I'm going to give you a local anesthetic for some of these cuts as I go---" I held up the syringe, and pantomimed giving her a shot; she looked worried but not too afraid, so I went on. "It'll make the area around your cuts numb, at least, it should. If if doesn't, let me know and we'll get something stronger. Then I'm going to stitch them up, just like you would a dress or robe, so they can heal better. Does that make sense? Are you okay with that?"
"Yes. I think so," she nodded, still nervous. "We had medicines like that, on Abydos, for cuts. And the demons use it for the Jaff'a, tellena-- when they are very badly hurt. They do not like it, but it works."
"Relax, Sha'uri. Janet's really good at this. She does it to me all the time," Jack stuck in, quirking an eyebrow at me.
"The Colonel keeps me in practice," I agreed, rolling my eyes. Sam snickered at Jack's glare and Sha'uri smiled, holding out one arm to me to begin. I injected the anesthetic, wondering about how much she remembered--- and then resolutely pushing those considerations away. ~No speculation until you get the MRI pix. None. And if she's okay, but needs more counselling, after we get her sewed up... well, that's what you're here for.~ To pull the nightmares out of my patients and get their psyches cleaned up as much as I could, anyway. I turn the worst of them over to Mackenzie, but only as a last resort. They're *my* patients, first; after the bruises and scrapes are treated comes the real work. ~And you're going to have to ask her how this happened *soon*, Dr. Fraiser...~
"Is Dan'yel in trouble? Because he came for me?" Sha'uri asked suddenly, while I was tying off a knot that was holding together a rip in her bicep.
"Uhh, no. Not really." Jack shook his head dismissively, as if Kennedy were just a fly he hadn't gotten around to swatting.
"Not yet, anyway," I muttered under my breath. Sha'uri shot me a worried look and I could have bitten my tongue.
"Janet--- no pessimism. Remember, the universe is still under orders." "Oh, yeah." I nodded shortly.
"Do I want to know, sir?"
"Nothing out of the ordinary, Major. Just the usual demand for results being heard and acknowledged by whoever's running the universe." Jack shrugged lightly, as if there were never any question about it, and I rolled my eyes.
The most irritating thing about Jack O'Neill, bar every other one of his faults, is how cocky he gets when he wins. The man doesn't know the meaning of the words 'gracious winner'. Which is why I quit betting against him (well, that, and how much he whines when he loses. Sucker).
"I told you the Colonel would handle the mess here, Daniel!" Sam yelled over to her teammate, getting a grumpy noise from within the MRI in response. She turned back to me with a grin, then sobered when she saw me reach for one of the bandages on Sha'uri's wrists. "Oo, that one. It's bad, Janet. Don't let Daniel see it, if you can help it."
She wasn't kidding; I've seen suicide attempts that had less success than the gash along the length of Sha'uri's arm. Daniel was going to be out of the tube all too soon. Time to ask about Sha'uri's injuries, while I could still minimize the worry to at least *one* patient. "Sha'uri, can you tell me how you got this cut? Did Amonet do this?"
"No. I did this," she replied calmly, meeting my eyes without a trace of upset.
"What?" Jack was almost quiet for once, low-voiced, but still about as shocked as I was. Sam was wincing.
"I fought her. I had to hurt her, to win."
"How did this help you fight her?" I asked, shuddering internally, and immeasurably glad that Daniel was on the other side of the infirmary and couldn't hear us above the MRI now.
"When we got to the maze, sir--- Sha'uri and Amonet were in the middle of fighting it out, for who got control of the body." Sam was studying Sha'uri with concerned eyes, carefully phrasing her explanation so as not to upset her. I don't think she needed to bother, really; Sha'uri had returned to watching me stitch with clinical fascination. "She had this sharp rock, and Amonet was... well, threatening to kill Sha'uri if we got any closer. She had it at her throat."
"I cut her with it. Here, and here, and here..." Sha'uri pointed out various rips and tears, and I felt my throat close up in horror as Jack moved closer, his face screwing up in distaste. "The stone, yes, I rerre me pele' --- Dan'yel? Erah eh pele'?" she called out across the room, loud enough for him to hear her.
"Skin, Sha'uri." Daniel's voice sounded worried, but Sha'uri smiled and went on.
"I cut my skin, and it gave her pain. Like she gave me pain. Many times, she hurt me. Inside, in my head." And she was smiling when she said this: triumphantly, yet. I kept my hands steady with a major effort, and when I risked a glance at the Colonel, I could see his face was frozen, but his eyes were reflecting what had to be in mine: fascination, horror... amazement. "She was not used to pain. It hurt her too much. When we were in the maze, she was alone. I was alone. Only us, to fight. And I was stronger." A sunburst smile like one of Daniel's most jubilant burst through, and some of the horror of her story melted away as I found myself smiling back. "And I win! Because Dan'yel came. He came for me. So I fight-ed. I lived."
~Ohhh....~ Talk about suckers. I swallowed hard, shaking my head, and feeling an earnest desire to recommend a three-week medical stay in the Barbados with Daniel as a treatment. She deserved it. So did he. They'd been through enough. ~Hmmm. Abydos is supposed to be nice this time of year...~
"Damn," Jack mumbled, almost grinning. "Makes me want to get out the Kleenex."
"Be glad you weren't there then, sir." Sam's smile was wistful, cock-eyed and a little teary, almost. She's a bigger sap than I am, most of the time. Don't get her on old Ingrid Bergman movies unless you want a flood. "You would've needed them."
I finished up the stitches on Sha'uri's wrist, taped on a clean bandage, and moved on to her legs, carefully checking the pads and gauze until I found another cut that needed work, when another thought occurred to me. "Sha'uri? Is there anything else that hurts besides the cuts? Anything?"
"My estomack. I am *hungry*," she said decisively. She grinned, and I turned to see Daniel rejoining us, looking tired enough to climb into the bed next to Sha'uri. But still smiling. I think his face is going to freeze like that pretty soon.
"She was unconscious for most of the time after we got her out of the Hammer, and then when she woke up, we were in the sled, and only a couple hours away from the 'Gate, so..." Sam was looking chagrined, now. "We gave her a couple granola bars, but other than that she probably hasn't eaten for days, Janet."
"Well, I can't guarantee the food here, but it's better than granola bars, at least. Lieutenant Matthews, please order up a tray from the commissary for Dr. and Mrs. Jackson, will you?" She nodded and picked up the phone, and I looked over at Bill, who was ripping off the print-out from the MRI, looking thoughtful. ~Now or never...~ "How's the other patient?"
"Exhausted. Showing signs of extreme fatigue and stress. I gave Dr. Jackson a broad-spectrum vitamin and antibiotic injection, but what he really needs is *rest*. No work. No demands. Rest. And... time with his family." He smiled, and handed me the print-out as I tied off another stitch on Sha'uri.
I glanced over it, closed my eyes in relief, then opened them to smile at Daniel and his wife. "I think we can manage that." I handed Colonel O'Neill the photos, and felt the last of the anxiety I'd been nursing dissolve. "Colonel, I can now officially state that the Goa'uld symbiote Amonet has been removed from Sha'uri Jackson. There appears to be no visible trace of the parasite left in her body."
Jack whooped in victory, and Sam muttered "thank God" under her breath as Daniel hugged Sha'uri, who leaned her head against his shoulder. "We'll need to run a few more blood tests, just to be sure, and probably give her a transfusion to make up for the blood loss, but---"
"I want to hear that from Dr. Fraiser, Teal'c! You don't have the authority to keep me out of here, and---"
The shouting at the door cut into my good news, and I grimaced. Teal'c must have been dealing with him for several minutes, and I'd been too hyped up to notice. It was the one for whose benefit we were doing so much of this. Colonel Kennedy. The creep.
I grabbed the pictures back from the Colonel and strode over to the door, where Kennedy had managed to push the door open enough to try and see past Teal'c, since he couldn't push him out of the way. "Colonel. Look. Good news. She's not a Goa'uld anymore. See? We've got the same kind of results from the MRI as we do on anyone who's never been possessed. There's no Goa'uld in the pictures."
His face actually fell in disappointment at that. I could have slapped him. "After we get confirmation from the bloodwork that the proteins dissolving in her bloodstream indicate the death of the symbiote, I'm going to release Sha'uri Jackson back into her husband's care for a while. But as of this minute, there are no remaining physical signs or manifestations of symbiosis." I took a deep breath, trying to get myself under control. "So there's no more Amonet. And no more reason for you to be here."
"I want to see for myself, I don't trust you---" I was about to tell him he'd do it over my dead body, then I realized he'd probably be perfectly okay with that if Teal'c wasn't there to stop him, when another voice cut off his demands.
"Dr. Fraiser? If you'll let me handle this...?"
Ohhh, you better believe it. "With *pleasure*, Colonel."
Colonel Jack O'Neill:
Kennedy's ability to piss off everyone around him would be something to admire if he weren't pissing off *my* people. And doing it for the sake of something as stupid as his career. Don't get me wrong: I can understand ambition, and wanting to climb the ladder to a point where you can make a difference. And I can understand annoying people to get your own way. I can even understand just wanting to be appreciated for your work. But when that work consists of selling out your own people as lab rats on an off-chance it'll get you a new corner office, then you've crossed the line from ambition to treason, as far as I'm concerned.
Janet had slammed back into med lab three seconds away from giving Kennedy impromptu open-heart surgery whether he needed it or not, and Teal'c and I were blocking the doors between her and Kennedy. He should've been thanking me, but was he? No. He had no idea how close he'd come to a fully-justified assault, and wouldn't have believed me if I told him.
Moron.
"I can not _believe_ your personnel are still stonewalling, but that's clearly what's happening here. I'm bringing in my *own* experts to evaluate Amonet's status, and if you try to stop me, it'll be just one more nail in the coffin of the SGC." Kennedy was doing that trick of trying to inhale his own face again, and his two little weasel attaches were standing there like ventriloquist's dummies, nodding along with him. Two airmen were holding up the walls across from us, just enjoying the show, but any time Kennedy made a move to get past us, they moved to block it. Made for an interesting little dance.
"Go right ahead. We're not going anywhere." I grinned lazily, watching Kennedy's blood pressure climb. "All of your so-called experts will tell you the same thing. Sha'uri Jackson no longer has a snake in her head. You're outta luck. Daniel's got his wife back and there's nothing you can do about it."
Teal'c was leaving the gloating to me, but I could swear that the resemblance to one of those Buddha-statues of Daniel's had never been that strong before.
Carter opened the door, probably motivated to see what had Janet storming around the infirmary in a huff, and I shot her a "hello, welcome to the party" look as she crossed her arms and parked herself on my right side. She shot me a dubious glance before mimicking Teal'c's stance on my left as we watched Kennedy rant.
"I still have the authority of the JCS in this matter, and until then, I make the decisions regarding the alien lifeform---"
"Who is no longer an alien." Alien lifeform. Who talks like that? Geeks who've been hanging out with spooks--- like Kennedy. "And Hammond never gave you any dispensation regarding Sha'uri Jackson. Besides, I'll bet he's getting that order revoked even as we speak, or getting new ones cut. So give it up, ya sleaze."
That last may have been going to far. That sleaze crack, I mean. I could see Carter wince and Teal'c tilt his head in consideration. Okay, it was definitely going too far. But it felt _really_ good.
Kennedy's voice dropped into a low growl. "Don't think that *your* actions will go unremarked, Colonel. Or *yours*, Major. You're both still looking at court martials for your participation in this mess. As well as suborning other members of the SGC!"
"For what? Carter was just helping out Jackson. You have no case---"
He cut me off and kept spewing, impressing his deputy doofuses, but no one else in the hallway. The airmen were enjoying the show, but everyone else was keeping their distance. Not too many dumb people at Stargate Command. "She didn't have Hammond's approval to leave the SGC for another planet with an unclassified alien! And certainly not to take action which might result in the alien's death---"
And I can outshout some poser in a suit any day of the week. "She was under *my* orders to assist Dr. Jackson in treating his _wife_, in every way possible. So okay, I should've been more specific---"
"Sir, that's not strictly---"
~Now is not the time to get overly-nice in our definitions, Major.~ "Carter, I'm on a roll. Don't interrupt. Now, some people might say she applied a greater latitude to those orders than was strictly called for, but I'm not one of them. If you want to bring us up on charges for that, fine. I guarantee it'll never wash. Tribunals don't like to second-guess field decisions unless the results suck, and the results here are one dead Goa'uld of no strategic value and significant diplomatic risk, and one live, unencumbered human being returned to her husband and family." I grinned smugly and shrugged nonchalant acceptance of the outcome, watching Kennedy's eyes narrow into snaky little slits. "I'll take those odds in front of a court any day."
"I had the direct authority of the JCS---"
"Not when it happened, you didn't," Carter muttered, then looked slightly embarrassed at having spoken up. Probably sorry to interrupt my roll.
"Exactly. Carter didn't disobey *any* direct orders. The JCS may not like that they didn't act fast enough, but that's not her fault. No matter what you said to them or how you got the influence to take Amonet into custody, you and Major Davis didn't put in your recommendations when it might've counted."
"Where *is* Major Davis, anyway? I'd have thought he'd be in charge of the JCS's interaction in this. He's their liaison."
Carter's a genius, have I mentioned that?
Kennedy's face tightened up like someone had kicked him in the groin, and I narrowed my eyes at his expression. "He's at the Groom Lake facility," I said thoughtfully. "He's due back soon---" Kennedy's eyes shifted beyond me, and then back, and he twitched his shoulders in what could have been discomfort, then returned to his previous rigid lemon-sucking expression. But not before I was smelling blood. Oh yeah. Bless Carter's hyperactive little mind. Something about Davis's position in this mess had always stunk, and now I had to wonder why. "---or is he? Colonel?"
"What?"
I love it when one of these tightly-wound pencil-pushers shows weakness. They unravel *so* fast if you've got one end of the string to pull. "You know, in all this rush, Major Davis's recommendations have never been mentioned. I know he was at the Groom Lake facility when this started, but I'd be interested in knowing what his position as the JCS official liasion for Stargate Command happens to be. Let's give him a call, shall we?"
"That won't be necessary. I have been in direct contact with---" Teal'c took a step forward, and Kennedy's voice broke momentarily, giving me the chance to shut him down.
"Oh, but we have to go through channels, Colonel. Major Davis may not outrank you, but he's the one with the clout. His *official* recommendation would carry a lot of weight with the JCS. Assuming, that is, that he ever got to file one." Kennedy just stared at me, Teal'c and Carter, and the sweet taste of victory flared up into sheer pissed-off rage in two seconds.
"You did an end run around him! I'll bet that you-- and maybe Maybourne, this is the kind of stunt he'd pull-- never bothered telling him what was up! You didn't want to risk Davis's evaluation of Amonet's strategic value being different from yours, so you cut him out of the picture. He might, he just might, have told the JCS that Amonet wasn't worth the headache of holding her hostage, right? He's been inside the SGC and on the scene for the last four months, he knows the players, they'd have to take that seriously--- and you never gave him the chance to say it! I just gotta wonder what *else* you told the Joint Chiefs to get them to sign off on that bullshit order."
"And the General couldn't get through to the President before we left." Sam's eyes had gotten wider, and her jaw was doing that concrete-imitation it does when she's ready to hit someone. "You wouldn't know anything about why that was... Would you?"
"You can't prove anything." A vein in Kennedy's eyelid was pulsing, and he pressed his lips together as Carter started to laugh in disbelief. Teal'c made a sound like a mountain grumbling under its breath, and Kennedy flinched. Maybe Kennedy had filled the JCS in on all of his plan, maybe he hadn't; but they'd timed it so neatly for when the last line of appeal was gone, that I had to think it wasn't an accident.
"It's true! Colonel O'Neill is right, isn't he? You unbelievable backstabbing---" Carter's grim amusement had disappeared and she looked ready to take him on herself, right then, in the middle of the hallway. Teal'c just became more... grim. I grabbed Carter's arm, but for her sake, not Kennedy's.
"If you make any accusations at all, it'll only sound like you're trying to save your own careers," Kennedy snapped. "My sole assessment of the situation was adequate, and had we retained control over the alien, the JCS would have seen---"
"But you didn't." Carter pointed out, shrugging out of my grasp, then folding her arms in fury, as her hands shook.
"You lied and misrepresented the facts in order to further your own agenda," Teal'c murmured softly. ~Not a happy Buddha. Not any more, man...~
"And now you're screwed, Kennedy." I took a step forward until we were almost nose-to-nose, and lowered my voice. "And *don't* think _I'm_ not going to follow up on this. I don't care if you *do* want to prefer charges against me, because I'm going to make _damn_ sure your career is buried under more than boring pencil-pushing C.I.A. and N.I.D. bureaucracy. You're just lucky I'm feeling merciful, Colonel. Want to know why?"
"If you're going to threaten me with physical violence, that's another fast way to a court martial---"
"Not me, Kennedy. Not me. But I can think of two people who can't be courtmartialed who'd *love* to respond to this. Teal'c, for example, who could probably beat the crap out of you without even breathing hard if he felt like it." Teal'c was smiling again, now. Way too happily. The weasels looked like they wanted to hide behind their boss's coattails, while I could tell that Kennedy was trying to make himself invisible through force of will.
"And Daniel Jackson. Who'd skip beating the crap out of you and go straight for your throat." I smiled darkly. "He's a little unreasonable when it comes to people taking his wife away from him. All I'd have to do is hold his coat and dispose of the body afterward. We'd give you a really *nice* funeral, Kennedy."
Kennedy stepped back, his face tight but his eyes finally looking scared. "You wouldn't."
"Maybe not. But I don't recommend you hang around here to find out."
"Colonel Kennedy." Whoa. I turned around to see a grim-faced General Hammond, and wondered how long he'd been within earshot. "I've just had a most enlightening conversation with Major Davis and Colonel Maybourne. I'm about to contact the Joint Chiefs, and I thought that you might care to be present for that call?"
Oooo. Long enough. Oh yeah.
Kennedy deflated like a cheap carnival balloon. "Yes... General."
"Airmen, please escort Colonel Kennedy and his people to my office--- and then I want you to take up positions guarding the entrance. Understood?"
Sweet to see. Oh yeah.
"Go, General Hammond," Carter muttered under her breath, shooting nasty looks at the weasels as they scurried after their master, the Airmen bringing up in the rear, looking like they were having a great day.
"He really does have awesome timing, doesn't he?" I rocked back on my heels, feeling the contentment of *true* justice being served, and served cold, to someone who had it coming. Justice for Daniel and Sha'uri, as well; and yeah, it felt damn good to clinch it like that. I didn't get to be there to help Daniel bring her through the Hammer, but I'd made sure that no one could take her away after that. Don't tell me life isn't fair some days.
"General Hammond's timing is impeccable. As is that of all great leaders. However... I am slightly disappointed that he arrived so soon," Teal'c said thoughtfully. "I was hoping that Colonel Kennedy might suffer a failure of nerve."
"You wanted to see him run away?" Carter asked, opening her eyes wide, fighting a smile.
"It would have been... gratifying."
I shrugged, unbothered by details. The biggest goal had been accomplished. Daniel and Sha'uri were in the clear---- and so was Carter. "Yeah, well, I'm just glad he managed to do himself in before one of us had to get court-martialed to make it happen."
Carter let her smile break free. "I can live with that."
Teal'c considered. "I believe I will be reconciled--- after I have told Daniel Jackson and Sha'uri that Colonel Kennedy is leaving the base. If you will allow me to?"
"Knock yourself out." He raised one eyebrow at me, looking like he was on the verge of asking me to explain, then just shook his head, smiling, and went back into the infirmary to let Janet and the others in on the good news.
I grinned at Sam. "Kennedy gets thrown in a zoo for being the little rat-monkey he is, and I live to see it. All because you asked the right question at the right time, Sam. I could kiss you."
Sam grinned back at me, then cocked her head challengingly, her smile turning wry in response to a thought I couldn't follow. Never mind the genius stuff--- Carter's female. There's some logic I'll never follow. "But you won't."
I frowned at her. ~What? What are you...?~
Her smile flickered. "Will you."
It wasn't meant to be a question, but after a second she nodded and started to turn away. Which was when, out of something that I can't even explain to you now, I said, "Don't be so sure. Major." Her head whipped around and she blinked at me, doing her Alice-in-Wonderland big-eyes impression again. I wiggled my eyebrows at her, and took a step closer. "It's a day to celebrate. I could get away with a lot more than usual. Under the circumstances."
Sam started to grin cockily. "If I let you, sir."
~Whoa-ho....~ I leaned forward, not sure I heard that right, any more than I was sure I'd left myself open to getting shot down or my face slapped. Maybe Carter didn't believe it either, because after a second, she backpedalled hastily, clearing her throat and ducking her head away from me. "And so... how *did* you manage to keep them from coming after us? I know Siler could've fixed the 'Gate within a day---"
"Oh, now *that's* an interesting story...." I let her get away with it.
This time.
EYES ONLY CLASSIFED: TOP SECRET
DATE: 10/16/99
TO: JCS, Commander-in-Chief, Secretary of Defense
FROM: Major General George Hammond, Base Commander, SGC, Cheyenne Mountain Complex
RE: StarGate Command Status Report. ...
I was interested to hear that Colonel Kennedy has been re-assigned, with a possible demotion in the offing pending a court martial, due to actions he recently took in attempting to appropriate Amonet from the SGC. As Major Davis has explained the circumstances to me, he was never notified of the crisis while he was at the Groom Lake facility, and Colonel Maybourne denies all knowledge of Colonel Kennedy's lack of contact with the Major.
I would like it noted, however, that for Colonel Maybourne to agree to assign a squadron to the SGC for search-and-retrieval of Amonet under Colonel Kennedy's authority without ever discussing it with Major Davis, who was still at Groom Lake at the time, seems highly unlikely. Howsoever it came about that Major Davis was left out of the loop, I must question how Colonel Kennedy was, under JCS oversight, allowed such broad and sweeping powers at a base where he did not hold (nor has ever held) a permanent position.
Since Dr. Jackson saved more than one life in taking Amonet to Cimmeria, and in fact liberated the entirety of the Jaffa community who served under Amonet, I was relieved to receive confirmation that no charges will be pressed against him for the actions which lead to her death. I was also pleased that the JCS concurred with my decision not to officially reprimand Major Carter for her part in assisting him. No other official reprimands to SGC personnel seem warranted at this time, and I hope this entire crisis has now been put to rest with all concerned satisfied with the outcome. (I would also like the attached request for extra personnel to be assigned to SG-7 to be examined with all due consideration, given certain recent events that impacted the availability of our Research team for assignment.)
Dr. Jackson has requested personal leave for the next month during which he says he plans to reconsider his position at the SGC. At this time, he is contemplating retirement to Abydos, possibly continuing his translation work and cultural assessments as a consultant for the SGC from there. While Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, as well as myself, feel that his service with SG-1 has been invaluable, we are convinced that his decision to leave must be honored, if he ultimately chooses to do so. Should that happen, his talents and sense of purpose will be sorely missed. No member of the Armed Forces has ever discharged his duties with the enthusiasm which Dr. Jackson brought to this command, and I strongly suggest that some recognition, however classified, be given to one of the civilians most responsible for the SGC's continued success.
A new wrinkle in our dealings with the Goa'uld has surfaced with the retrieval of Sha'uri Jackson. It appears that Mrs. Jackson's child, born during her time as Amonet's host, may be of some strategic value to our mission....
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:G.H.Hammond.SGCO@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 1:16PM
TO:J.J.Fraiser.SG12@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Sha'uri Jackson
Doctor:
I am just concluding my report to the JCS. Is there any further information regarding Mrs. Jackson that you would care to add to your last medical report? And will she be able to attend Colonel O'Neill's barbeque this evening? I was hoping to get the chance to speak with her and Dr. Jackson before they leave for Abydos on Monday.
General Hammond
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.J.Fraiser.SG12@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 1:23PM
TO:G.H.Hammond.SGCO@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: RE: Sha'uri Jackson
Sir: No, nothing new. Mrs. Jackson's last test results are appended to my report on the server, if you wish to add them. Otherwise, both Jacksons are doing fine, and no surprises have come up yet. Thankfully.
And yes, she's going to be at the barbeque tonight, after Major Carter and I take her shopping. I'm sure she and Daniel will be happy to talk over their plans with you.
J.F.
***
Weekly Medical Report from Dr. Janet Fraiser, Capt., CMO, SGC
Date: 10/16/99
RE: Sha'uri Jackson (File No. 1010822)
Mrs. Jackson's condition continues to improve daily. The expected protein markers in the bloodstream (see file "Legacy") have become the only remaining trace of the invading parasite. No permanent damage to her brain, or central and auxiliary nervous system can be found, so I believe it can be cautiously concluded that Thor's Hammer is an effective, safe way to eliminate the presence of a Goa'uld in a human host. I still have no idea how it works, but it does.
My current working theory is that Thor's Hammer targets cells with the known Goa'uld DNA, leaving the host (no matter what the species) unharmed. Since they act as symbiotes/parasites, removing it would cause no immediate physical damage but can also likely result in hormone level problems and other secondary effects due to possible gland manipulation (and the sarcophagus), or even cell membrane effects such as morphine and other addictive substances can have. I suspect Sha'uri went through a withdrawal while she was unconscious. *How* precisely, it accomplishes this, is another question altogether. Maybe the next time the Asgard drop by, we can ask them for details on its operating parameters.
As to the rest of Mrs. Jackson's condition: her physical wounds are healing nicely, and the continuing support of Dr. Jackson appears to be mitigating the worst of his wife's adjustment to life as a human being again. She is still suffering from intermittent nightmares, fatigue, and mild anxiety attacks, all of which can be attributed to the change of venue (and planet) as well as her medical status. I don't believe that any psychiatrist in the USAF is currently qualified to evaluate her mental state, since her experiences prior to her possession by Amonet fall outside the norms of most therapists' backgrounds. Dr. Mackenzie's experience with members of the SGC does not extend to natives of off-planet cultures. However, based on my observations and past experience with Major Carter, I would say that she stands a good chance of eventually making a full physical and mental recovery from the experience.
...from the private journal of Janet Fraiser, M.D....
October 16
What a week. The fuss has finally died down from Daniel and Sam's little trip to Cimmeria and Sha'uri's resurrection. I swear, I was never so glad to get rid of a patient (and I'm including Jack O'Neill at his most intractable on that list), even though she's a very sweet girl. Personnel from every corner of the SGC popped in at all hours to meet her and talk to Daniel, and it got to the point where it was nearly impossible to turn around without bumping into someone *else* who usually avoids the infirmary like we're the site of an Ebola incident. When I finally discharged her with very strict orders for bedrest at home, the level of chaos went down by half (then went right back up when SG-4 came back from PX325 with some new kind of allergic reaction, of course. Never get a break in this job, never).
I'm really going to miss Daniel if they decide to stay on Abydos. Not as much as Sam and Jack and Teal'c will, but still.... They're going to be inconsolable, at least for a while. But Daniel's been a good friend to me too, and Cassie's going to mope around the house for days after they leave. Daniel was still floating on a cloud when I checked in on him and Sha'uri yesterday, but I think he's having some trouble making up his mind about whether to stay or go. I don't know what Jack will do if his best friend leaves the SGC, but at least he's giving them a good send-off tonight. Sha'uri was fine during yesterday's check-up, so she's going to be there too... after Sam and I and Cassie get through buying her something to wear.
We might be having a little too much fun planning out purchases for her....
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.J.Fraiser.SG12@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 1:41PM
TO:S.L.Carter.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Ready to go?
Well? Are you? I just sent off my last report to the Surgeon General and Major General Hammond. Cassie's so excited about Jack's party I had to bribe her with this shopping trip to keep her from going over to his place and pestering him this morning. How much time before you can leave?
Janet
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:S.L.Carter.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 1:44PM
TO:J.J.Fraiser.SG12@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: RE: Ready to go?
Give me another half hour. I'm almost done with my Mission Report for General Hammond, but I need to finish one or two more things.
I'll e-you when I'm done, okay?
Sam
***
Mission Report from Major Samantha Carter, SGC
Date: 10/16/99
RE: Sha'uri Jackson (File No. 1010822)
... After some experimentation, I can confirm that Sha'uri can use both the Goa'uld healing device and the ribbon device. She doesn't like to use either, but she has fewer problems with the healing gauntlet than the ribbon device. I think this is mostly due to her remembering what Amonet did to others with it (including what she tried to do to Daniel) than any kind of physical or neural blockage. Sha'uri appears to have clearer memories of Amonet's life than I did of Jolinar's, possibly because of the extended time she spent as Amonet's host, and she's been describing some of the newer Goa'uld technology to me (see appended cross-sections).
Colonel O'Neill has already de-briefed her regarding the majority of Amonet's military knowledge and what little she knows about the "Harcissis" (see O'Neill status report, 10/16/99). Regardless of whether her memories will grow stronger, or remain largely buried, I can only sympathize with what she endured. I would like to recommend her joining the SGC in a consulting capacity like Daniel's or Teal'c's, even though I have a feeling she would reject the idea. She has a lot to offer, both as a former host and as herself.
I also want to go on record as filing thanks and appreciation to Gairwyn's people for rendering their assistance again, and I suggest that a thank-you banquet and tour be given in their honor. Since we now have proof of the usefulness of Thor's Hammer, it would seem reasonable that contact with the Cimmerians on a more regular basis would be advisable. Time permitting, I would like to take a team back to Cimmeria to study the Hammer and hopefully get some clue in how to build one of our own.
While Thor's Hammer works, new policies need to be implemented for its use, now that we know of Sha'uri's difficulties in the maze. Explicit instructions in how to take an infected team member through the labyrinth, which personnel stay behind and contact the SGC and which accompany their teammates, instructions on contacting Gairwyn's people, and the ultimate retrieval of personnel from the maze must be included. Memorization of Cimmeria's address should be now be made *mandatory* for all active SGC teams....
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.J.Fraiser.SG12@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 2:10PM
TO:S.L.Carter.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: RE: Re: Ready to go?
Cassie just called. She threatened to drive over to Daniel's herself if we didn't show up soon. Tell me you're done now? Please?
Janet
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:S.L.Carter.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 2:12PM
TO:J.J.Fraiser.SG12@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: RE:RE: Re: Ready to go?
Finished! Five minutes to e-mail the Colonel, okay? I'll meet you at the second exit gate.
Sam
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:S.L.Carter.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 2:13PM
TO:J.A.ONeill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Out of here---
I just filed my last report with the General, so Janet and I are leaving to pick up Sha'uri. *Promise* you won't let Daniel leave here until just before the party, okay? We're planning kind of a surprise for him. :>
Oh, and did you hear that Kennedy got re-assigned to Elmendorf AFB in Alaska? I hear it's... really really chilly there, this time of year.
Anything else you want us to pick up for the party?
Carter
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.A.ONeill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 2:16PM
TO:S.L.Carter.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Re: Out of here---
You two scare me, Carter. Don't do anything that's gonna freak out Danny-boy, all right? We don't want him thinking of any more reason to stay on Abydos than he already has.
As for Kennedy.. heh. Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy. I feel sorry for the personnel at Elmendorf, though. Maybe we should send them a sympathy card.
Bring another case of beer and a cooler, and we'll be set. You know how those guys in SG-3 can put it away.
O'Neill
***
Mission Report from Dr. Daniel Jackson, SG-1, Special Services
Date: 10/16/99
RE: Trip to Cimmeria, Thor's Hammer (File No. 1010822)
.... The attached maps have been updated to better show the fastest route from the Cimmerian Stargate to the labyrinth surrounding Thor's Hammer. One of the things that SGC should do is send a team to accurately map it with color picture details using a GPS. While it's not an inherently dangerous journey, I recommend that any team trying to make the trip have a native guide, since many of the landmarks are difficult to find and their appearance changes with the seasons.
We owe a lot to Gairwyn's people, who were a huge help in cutting our travel time and making sure we got to the maze and back all right. Gairwyn said we could count on their cooperation in the future, should this situation re-occur, and if there's any help or assistance they ever need, I think we should be willing to give it to them.
We should also be thanking the Asgard big-time for that little gift. Now that we have a confirmation of its abilities, I can't stress enough how important it is for the Cimmerian address to be memorized by all personnel in case of an emergency.
Personally, I owe even more thanks to the members of the SGC--- especially Major Carter, Dr. Fraiser, Colonel O'Neill, and Teal'c --- for helping Sha'uri and I get through this, not to mention everyone else who took an interest in the success of this mission. I can't thank them enough.
Right now, Colonel O'Neill and I are trying to formulate plans for finding Sha'uri's child --- the "Harcissis" --- and Kheb, the semi-mythical planet to which Amonet apparently sent him. Sha'uri remembered the name, but not the address of the world in question, due to Amonet's blocking her awareness at the time the child was sent there. She does know, however, the names of the people who took her son, so we do have some leads. I intend to study the Abydonian star charts while I'm on leave, and hopefully find some clues to Kheb's location from those writings....
***
. .. from Daniel Jackson's Personal Journal
October 16, 1999
A whole month on Abydos with nothing to do but study and take care of my wife, starting Monday. It's incredible. I keep having to stop and look around, ask myself if I'm dreaming, because I've been wanting this for so long. And it's better than I imagined it would be, to have Sha'uri back. Kasuf has been staying with us for the last week, and between the two of us looking after her, Sha'uri seems to be slowly be coming back to herself again.
She's still pretty shaky, more cautious than I remember... the nightmares don't help. She's feeling better, though. Even getting kind of adventurous when it comes to trying Earth food; Jack brought over some Thai take-out Wednesday night, when Doc was here, and Sha'uri loved it. Couldn't eat enough of it. Kasuf wasn't as fond of it, but I think he's getting addicted to Pop-Tarts. I'd guess Skaara would be the same way, if he were here... damn. I wish he was here.
Jack's not pushing me, and neither is Sam, but both of them keep shooting me these *looks* when they think I don't notice. They don't want me to leave. Jack can't help dropping comments into his conversation, kind of "what have they got on Abydos they we don't have here?" Oh, and "You know, they *still* won't have coffee" and "Computers, Danny boy. Kind of a step up from papyrus."
How can I make them understand? I think Teal'c gets it, but then, he would; once-a-month visits to Druy'ac and Ry'ac don't exactly cut it. He hasn't been pressuring me like the others. Having a family makes a difference. I can't ask Sha'uri to stay here. She's had so much taken away from her, her whole world turned inside-out twice already... I need to be with her. She needs to be home. Abydos is home. It's pretty simple, looked at that way.
But if you look at it another way, it's not as simple... It's going to drive me nuts, not knowing what they're doing back here for weeks at a time. Plus, how can they really keep looking for Sha'uri's son, not to mention her brother, if neither of us is here to give them ideas on how to do it? It could take years. All the information will be going here, to the SGC, not to Abydos. I know Jack's going to do everything he can to get Skaara back, but that leaves me feeling like I quit too early. I love Sha'uri --- I'm unbelievably relieved to have her back --- but I can't really be happy until we have Skaara back, too. And she can't be happy until she has her brother, *and* her son.
One more reason I'm glad I have a month to decide.
Kasuf, for once, is not expressing his opinion on a subject; he says I'm Sha'uri's husband, and the decisions I make for her and myself are the ones that he'll respect. Big help he is. I can't ask Sha'uri what she wants yet; I've just been focusing on helping her get better and making sure she rests enough. I think she's starting to get stir-crazy in my little apartment; the first two days, she was too tired to do anything except lie in bed, but since Thursday she's gotten more and more antsy, flipping channels on the TV and taking every book out of my bookcase in search of something to read. Her energy levels are going back to what I remember. Doc says she's okay, that all the cuts are healing and aren't infected, and that she just has to be careful to not overdo it now.
Sha'uri was just about dancing when Janet mentioned the shopping trip to her last night. I didn't have the heart to try to talk her out of it, and I know that she'll be safe with Janet and Sam, but... I'm worried, okay? She hasn't been out that much, just a trip to the supermarket with me late last night (and she stood there playing with the automatic doors for five minutes on our way in; I should get a copy of it from the security camera). This can be a dangerous world when you don't know what you're doing. I still remember Teal'c's reaction to cars the first time we took him out of the SGC. And at least he's got the intimidation factor to be able to pull off that traffic cop impression like he did.
Doesn't matter. I'm outnumbered. Janet and Sam ganged up on me, and then Sha'uri looked pleading, and I folded. I'm such a wimp.
Actually, if it has anything to do with Sha'uri, I fold. She was scolding me for it last night--- I let her have all the covers again. She can't get warm enough here, even though it's been a fairly mild Colorado October. She woke up after one of her nightmares, and after she stopped shaking, (if Apophis weren't dead, I would give my eyes, my fingers, and ten years off my life just to be able to demonstrate the death of a thousand cuts on him), she rolled right over and started giving me a hard time about not bundling up. Two seconds before I was holding her while she cried, practically helpless, and my heart was breaking for her all over again... and then she's yelling at me and asking me if I want to get sick, and making me take my half of the covers back. Being married is weird. I can't believe I forgot how nice it was to be nagged by her. She's been doing it off and on ever since we got back, and I keep catching this goofy smile on my face when she does it.
But I can handle her scolding me; it's not as bad as the rest of the SGC doing it all at once. I shouldn't complain about them, though. God, we owe them so much....
I think I woke up after fourteen hours sleep slumped against Sha'uri's side in the infirmary to hear Colonel Makepeace, of all people, telling her that she looked fine, and that he was glad she was feeling better. I fumbled around for my glasses and squinted at him--- no, I wasn't losing my mind, it was SG-3's CO. The one who's never had much use for me, frankly. He doesn't have any use for most civilians.
"Dr. Jackson. Glad to see you're feeling better too." He was *beaming* at me. I blinked at him a couple times, then shook my head to clear it, but before I could say anything, he clapped me on the shoulder, said, "I have to get going; just wanted to say congratulations. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Jackson," and then walked out, leaving me staring after him.
"Well, that was... surreal."
"Surreal?" I turned to Sha'uri, and felt my heart stop again. Janet's very, very good at what she does, because Sha'uri looked a hundred times better than she had before I conked out on her bed. Tired, sure, but *healthy*. Gorgeous. Happy. Something I was afraid I'd never get to see again... "What is surreal, Dan'yel? What does that word mean?"
"Like a dream." I smiled. I couldn't help smiling, the feeling just kept coming out of nowhere. I reached over to untangle a few of her curls. How I ever got so lucky... I'm still trying to figure it out. "Like a heat vision. Colonel Makepeace doesn't like me. Why was he---"
"Dr. Jackson?" I looked up to see one of the computer techs---the civilian with all the earring art; what's-her-name... Domovoi, that's it... standing at the foot of the bed and grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Next to her was a tall redhead from SG-6 that I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to before; the patch on her uniform said "Lieut. D. Lamerc", and she was smirking for all she was worth. "And you have to be Mrs. Jackson. Wow. This is so *cool*."
"Yes, it is," I nodded, feeling bemused.
"And you're both okay?" Lieutenant Lamerc asked, raising her eyebrows sternly at us, like a kindergarten teacher I once had; the one who never bought it when I said I wasn't sick, or that the class bully hadn't been pestering me.
"We're both fine." I put my arm around Sha'uri and yawned hugely, then apologized. "Sorry. Just a little tired..."
"No, no. No worries. You two rest! Don't let him out of this bed," Lamerc told Sha'uri, and Sha'uri grabbed my hand and nodded solemnly, but I could feel her trembling with giggles against me. "He never sleeps, you know. At least, that's what the SG-8 guys say."
"Hell, that's what Colonel O'Neill says! Anyway, we gotta go, we just had time to drop in and tell you to take it easy. And congrats!" Domovoi turned and bopped out between two nurses hurrying around the room seeing to patients before I could ask her what was up. Lamerc sketched a salute and grinned goodbye before following the other woman, and I frowned.
"They are friends of yours, Dan'yel?"
"No, I barely know them..." I said, just as Ferretti walked into the infirmary.
"Hey, Daniel," he said, coming over and grabbing a chair. "Good to see you awake, Doc. You were one unconscious anthropologist for a while."
"Mmmm... I'll bet. I was pretty wiped when we got back." I shrugged guiltily. "It's good to see you too, Ferretti. You remember my wife." I grinned at Sha'uri, who held out her hand to Ferretti. He took it and gave it a squeeze.
"Sure do. Prettiest girl on Abydos. Too bad you saw her first, Doc," he teased me. Jack walked in then, in time to hear Ferretti and start grinning.
"Nahh, you never had a chance, Ferretti. Sha'uri likes guys with some brains. How she ended up with Daniel, I'll never know." Jack leaned against the wall and stuck his hands in his pockets, looking really pleased with himself, and I snorted just as Sha'uri started in on him in Abydonian.
"O'Neill, va escese te wah nehune jerah---"
"Wellelete, Sha'uri. O'Neill wellele. Taras."
"Oh. Joking." She rolled her eyes at Jack, muttering, "O'Neillll..." under her breath and cracking up Ferretti, who stood, giving up his chair to Teal'c as he walked out, waving good-bye as Sam came in.
"Wow, you guys seem cheerful. Feeling better?" she asked, leaning against the foot of the bed.
"Yes. Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm *fine*...." Jack laughed and Teal'c cocked an eyebrow at me.
Sam shook her head. "Daniel, you were dead to the world for *hours*. Janet threatened to give a complete physical to anyone who tried to wake you up. Besides, everyone just wants to make sure that both of you are okay."
"I know, but people I don't even know that well have stopped in, and *Makepeace* was here. He thinks I'm an idiot. Why did he---" Jack was looking smug. No surprise; Jack's always looking like he's been up to something. The weird thing was, Teal'c was also looking like the cat that chomped on the canary. "What? What aren't you telling me?"
"Ummm..." Sam grinned, crossing her arms and rocking back on her heels. "They didn't tell you yet?"
"Tell me... what?" I asked cautiously. Sometimes, I'm really sure that I don't want to know what goes on when I miss something. It's usually safer.
"The *entire* SGC, not just Jack and Teal'c, combined to keep Kennedy from following us to Cimmeria." I gaped. Sha'uri frowned, only following about half, I think, and Sam went on gleefully while Jack shuffled his feet and Teal'c went back to looking impenetrable. "SG-3 had one of their guys go AWOL, and SG-9 got sick *on purpose*, and Ferretti---"
"You know, SG-2 really *could* have been under attack on P2X444," Jack interrupted mildly. "Just because they were wrong doesn't mean they meant to be."
"Whaaat?" I blinked from Jack to Sam back to Teal'c, who was looking immensely pleased. "They didn't... they. .. what did they do?"
"Reminds me. We should go make sure someone told SG-5 they could come out now," Jack commented to Teal'c, who nodded thoughtfully.
"Are they hiding?" What did they do for us? I couldn't believe that what they were suggesting was true. They wouldn't. Straight-up military types don't risk their careers on a whim, damnit.
"No. They were not hiding. They were simply... unable to comply with a request to leave the artifacts lab," Teal'c said, deadpan.
"How... *why*? Are you saying what I think--- they disobeyed direct orders---"
"Oh, no. No, they didn't do that. They just couldn't *obey* orders," Jack said patiently.
I closed my eyes, feeling terrifically stupid. "Sam? Help? Translation for the linguist?"
"They stonewalled, Daniel. Bilged the orders. Deliberately misunderstood them." I opened my eyes, and Sam was shaking her head in wonder at Jack, who shrugged nonchalantly. "And they did it well enough that no one can prove it. No one like Kennedy, anyway. Half the teams on the base were in on it: the Gateroom techs, SG-2, SG-3, SG-5, SG-6, SG-9...."
"Wow." Overwhelmed, stunned, in shock... I couldn't have been more surprised if Jack *had* been wearing a tutu.
"Hey, they didn't just do it for you, Daniel. They did it for Sha'uri. And Sam," Jack said, bowing slightly to Sam, mockingly. "And because Kennedy's a jerk. He didn't make any friends around here, y'know." He sobered at my expression, then said, "But yeah, they did do this for you, too. You've got a lot of friends. And a lot of people who respect you."
What did I ever do to deserve this? Nothing. I have Sha'uri back. My friends are all alive, and none of us are even being court-martialed. And the people I work with made those things possible. I couldn't believe it. They risked so much... The world keeps getting stranger, every time I look.
"How do I thank them? How can I ever, possibly, even begin to---" I can't name *all* of our children after the entire SGC. Can I? No, that won't work...
"Live happily ever after, Daniel." No joking from Jack now. "That's all they want. Think you can do that?"
"Okay. Yes. I can do that." I hugged Sha'uri tighter, and said a prayer of thanks to whatever god looks after dreaming anthropologists.
I have my life back. No matter where it is.
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:D.K.Jackson.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 3:23PM
TO:J.A.ONeill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov;Tealc.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Finished!
I just filed my last report --- I'm ready to head out. And I know I heard Sam go by at least an hour ago. Are you guys done yet? I want to catch up with her and Janet and Sha'uri at the mall, if I can.
Oh, and Jack, do you need me to chip in for beer?
Daniel
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.A.ONeill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 3:30PM
TO:D.K.Jackson.SG1@sgc.mil.gov;Tealc.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Re: Finished!
Nah, I've got a lot left here... price of command, damnit.
I don't need you to chip in for beer (it's your party, Daniel, for crying out loud), but I do need you and Teal'c to get the shopping done. I've got steaks, but there's a lot of other stuff I left to the last second... stop by my office on your way out.
Jack
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.A.ONeill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 3:30PM
TO:Tealc.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Decoy
Sam made me promise to keep Daniel occupied until the party; think you can handle it? The shopping list ought to do half the work for you. You may have to hit every liquor store between here and Broadmoor.
O'Neill
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:Tealc.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 3:30PM
TO:J.A.Neill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: Re: Decoy
Leave all to me. Daniel Jackson will not return to your home until after 5:30.
Teal'c
***
*STARGATE COMMAND SERVER - CRYSTAL-FLINT - MESSAGE*
FROM:J.A.ONeill.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
DATE: Saturday, October 16, 1999, 3:30PM
TO:Tealc.SG1@sgc.mil.gov
Subject: RE: Re: Decoy
Knew I could count on you. Heh.... Danny's gonna be a little surprised at how many people are coming to this party.
O'Neill
***
Mission Report from Teal'c, SG-1, Special Services
Date: 10/16/99
RE: SGC Status Report
...SG-5 was released from the artifacts laboratory with no injuries by Sgt. Siler, who stated that it was amazing that they didn't figure out how to undo the forcefield lock themselves. We can only theorize that they must have been suffering from the effects of extended time in the field.
An analysis of possible political outcomes on Amonet's homeworld, as well as her vassel planets, due to her death, is appended to the notes made by Colonel O'Neill after interrogating Sha'uri Jackson. Sha'uri's observations are consistent with that which I was aware of as Apophis's First Prime, prior to her abduction.
I concur with Dr. Jackson's analysis of the importance of the Harcissis child in possible future tactics, and offer my fullest assistance in retrieving the child from its hiding place. As always, I am prepared to take whatever measures necessary to free those whom Apophis once enslaved.
***
TO: Major General George Hammond, SGCO
FROM:Colonel Jack O'Neill, SG-1
Date: 10/16/99
RE: SGC SG-1 Team Status Report
... and I'd like to suggest that we get some definitive policy regarding captured Goa'ulds. I don't want to have to go through this nonsense twice, because let's face it, it's a no-brainer: given the chance, we should save as many hosts from infestation by the Goa'uld as possible. If a Goa'uld won't willingly give up the host, then we shouldn't have to debate the disposition of the human being in question.
Dr. Jackson's leave of absence begins on Monday, the 18th, and until his return, I'm requesting that one of the guys from SG-8 be assigned to my team, in case we do any off-planet reconnaissance in the following month. I don't expect them to live up to Daniel's expertise, but somebody reasonably competent would be nice.
I'm still convinced that Dr. Jackson's place is here with the SGC, but I can't really fault him for wanting to return to Abydos. If he *does* choose to resign, we're going to have to make arrangements to keep Abydos safe; he's got a price on his head from the System Lords, too, and just sending them back there won't be protection enough if any of them get wind of where he is.
Finally, a big round of applause for the people of the SGC. Who keep raising the bar on that "service above and beyond" thing.
Party at my place, 5pm, today, October 16.
J. O'N.
....Sha'uri's Dream Journal...
Some nights I dream of Amonet.
In some of the dreams, I am her prisoner again, watching her do terrible things. In others, I *am* Amonet, arrogant and powerful, planning the destruction of the Taur'i with alongside my husband, Apophis.
The worst are those where I remember her love for Apophis. These are the dreams that wake me with my own weeping, that I can not tell Dan'yel about. I am not Amonet in these dreams, I am myself; I watch the two of them together, loving in spite of their cruel natures, and I rage at what I have lost, crying for Dan'yel to come for me....
And then I wake up, and his arms are around me, and for a moment I do not know which is the dream.
Jan'et says that writing these things down might help me control my thoughts. Or help me remember more about my son, and where the Goa'uld may have hidden him. So I am writing this in the book that Dan'yel bought for me, with one of his pens. I still like this way of writing. Amonet would use a computer and a jewel-device to write, and on Abydos we only had paints and carving tools with which to record our history. This pen is very neat, and small, and it can go with me anywhere. (And, it is fun to click it and push the button. Dan'yel finds my enjoyment of this amusing. I must seem as strange as he did, trying to grind flour back on Abydos.)
I am writing this in the written language of the Goa'uld, because writing it in Abydonian picture-writing would take too long. My English improves more every day, but not enough to describe things well in writing. It is not so bad to write in Goa'uld; the words are the same as those on Abydos, it is merely the symbols that are different. The differences between my world and Earth are stronger, and I find it hard sometimes to understand them all....
Like the party that O'Neill gave for us tonight. It was at O'Neill's home, which is much larger than Dan'yel's rooms in this building. Samantha says that it is because Dan'yel was always away somewhere before he came to Abydos; traveling and seeing the world. He only wished to have a place to put his treasures, not a home. O'Neill's house is spacious, as large as several families' tents on my homeworld, but much sturdier, with a garden surrounding it. To a Goa'uld, it would not be so wonderful. I liked it very much.
Before we went to the party, Samantha and Jan'et (Dan'yel's healer-friend, who has been caring for me so well) and Cassandra took me to the market here. The city Dan'yel lives in is not as large as some I have seen, but it is *different*. The Goa'uld have many wonderful things, but they are not as varied and strange as those here. I can not explain it, there are too many things that are new: all the 'cars', that take people wherever they wish to go, like rickshaws drawn by invisible beasts; the lights that glow even in the daytime, and which make the city shine at night; and the people --- so many people! --- all of them going to work or play at tasks I do not understand yet. But I will. I will learn about them all.
The market. The market was enclosed, a permanent structure, and within it were stalls--- "shops" --- where you can buy anything, clothes or food or jewels or devices that can do the work of servants. It was quiet, though, or it seemed so to me--- I am used to bargaining and the yells of vendors in a market, but this place was only loud with the throngs of buyers within. Samantha wanted to buy me a dress for the party, something special, she said.
Samantha was once possessed by a Goa'uld. She says it was not as bad for her, since her demon was a 'Tok'ra', and did not force her to commit the kind of acts which Amonet committed while she was within me. But it helps to have someone here who understands--- if only a little--- what it was like.
Amonet was so very wrong in her accusations of Samantha. Dan'yel loves Samantha as I love Skaara, and I think she feels the same toward him. She risked much in helping us, and if part of the reason was her experience with a demon, the other part was caring for Dan'yel. When I am better, and I have my loom again, I intend to make her the most elegant of veils to match her eyes, to thank her for what she did. She is a soldier, but she is also female and loves soft things, though she tries to hide it behind a practical face.
Jan'et brought her daughter --- Cassandra, whom I had not met before--- as well, and the two of them helped us buy the dress. Cassandra was adopted by Jan'et after the demon Nurti killed everyone on Cassandra's world. I did not encounter Nurti while I was imprisoned within Amonet, but I wish I had. I wish I had met her, and that I remembered something to hurt her with. I remember the day that Ra tried to kill my people, the death gliders pouring fire on the roofs of our city, and the Jaffa shooting everyone within range. We won, because of Dan'yel and O'Neill. Cassandra lost everything, and now must start over again on Earth, with her new family; and there is nothing that can change that. She is happy here, from what she has said. But it is so wrong, that she must start again, because of the Goa'uld....
I wanted a scarlet one, like my bridal robes, and Cassandra brought every red gown to the changing room for me to see and touch and wear, to see if I liked it. Samantha said I could have more than one, if I wished, because it was a gift, and that the military would be paying for it, not Dan'yel or herself. But Jan'et found the perfect one
"Wedding dresses are red on Abydos?" Cassandra asked me. "They're white here. They were green in. .. Toronto." She grinned at me, having told me of the small deception she and Jan'et used to explain any of her strangeness to the Taur'i children and people she met. Samantha had said that we would tell people I was from Mon-tre-al, if anyone asked, for the same reasons--- no one would suspect the real truth, but they would want to know why I might seem strange, and why I did not know the main language of the Taur'i here.
"The only white things on Abydos were clouds." I draped the dress over my shoulders. "Desert flowers were red. That was why the dresses were red."
"Did you and Dan'yel" (I should write their names as they would: Daniel. Janet. Sam. It will help me practice. But my husband is always Dan'yel to me), "have a big wedding?"
"Big?" I blinked, confused, and then came out of the stall to look at myself in the silver mirror in the shop. The Goa'uld had more impressively decorated mirrors and hangings than the Taur'i, but the artifacts of Dan'yel's people are more impressive in how simple they are, to me. They are perfectly what they are, like Dan'yel's friends.
"Lots of people, you know, lots of flowers, and music.... Ooo, that looks pretty on you! Doesn't she look great, Sam?"
"It's really pretty." Samantha tilted her head, and smiled at my reflection. "I think Sha'uri's and Daniel's wedding was kind of quick, Cassie. At least, that's what Daniel told me."
"The first ceremony *was* quick. But the second, a half-moon after the Taur'i left, took an entire day and a night," I told them.
"Wow." Samantha looked impressed. "That's... long."
I laughed, shaking my head. "No, not so long--- some weddings last several days. But since we were married ever since my father gave me to Dan'yel, the ceremony was for the family and my people, not for us. Dan'yel wanted it--- so they would know I was his wife because I chose it, and not because my father did." I turned back to the mirror, and did not tell them the night of the second wedding was the night we truly became man and wife. Dan'yel insisted that I could change my mind, if I wanted to, until then... but I always knew what I wanted. From the night that we spent in the catacombs together, I knew I would never have another husband, even if he should leave me, or die. No one else could be as kind, as brilliant, or smile like my Dan'yel.
What Amonet did with Apophis could not change that. Nothing ever will. He says he rests only in my heart... and I will never want any heart but his.
Jan'et (no, Janet... I must try to remember) brought me another dress then, one with swirling layers of some silk (ray-on, Samantha says) in different shades of red, like a sunset. It is beautiful, and Cassandra said that Dan'yel would "freak" when he saw me. Jan'et and Samantha assured me that this would be a good thing (and they were right!).
We went to O'Neill's home after we bought the dress, and he whistled when he saw me, then laughed when Cassandra repeated what she had said before.
"I don't know about freaking, but he might forget to breathe." He grinned and told me, "Just say 'breathe' if he stands there too long with his mouth open, okay?"
"Okay." My English is now good enough to know that O'Neill teases, always, even if I do not understand all of what he says.
O'Neill was cooking --- Skaara would never believe that a *man* would cook, especially O'Neill --- "steaks" over a brazier outdoors. Tables had been set out, and Samantha and Cassandra were placing food on them. I wanted to help, but Janet found me a lounge chair, then told me to rest before the party, threatening to tie me down if I did not. She reminds me of my grandmother in some ways, though she is not at all old. But Neena could tell the tallest man in the village to fetch her water, now, and he would not dare disobey. I like Janet very much, and she knows as well as I do that Dan'yel needs a wife. She was very pleased that he was rested when she visited us yesterday.
Many, many people began to arrive. They are all friends of Dan'yel's at the S.G.C., and they wished to tell him good-bye before we left for Abydos. Most of them, O'Neill told me, had helped keep Dan'yel and Samantha safe on Cimmeria long enough to free me. I thanked every one that came to speak with me. I would make them a banner, or a flag, to hang in their fortress, if I thought it would be worthy of hanging there.... I think I will do so anyway. They have other flags, but I must give them something. The debt we owe them is too great to be repaid, but a token is the least I can do.
The Taur'i do not resemble each other, the way my people do, or in the way many of the people of Amonet's planets all looked alike. They are tall, short, pale, dark, sharp-featured and soft-faced; but in some ways, they are all very similar. Of those I have met, most are brave, and while they respect the Goa'uld's weapons, they do not fear them as my people did. They believe in freedom for all, men and women both, in ways that my people do not accept, much less the Goa'uld. And they are so rich; they live as free as demons, and as wealthily, without hurting others. Dan'yel tells me it is not all simple--- that people on his world suffer, that some remain poor and oppressed, and that even his government contains men who can be cruel and short-sighted. All of this may be true. But the Taur'i dare to dream in ways that my people were forced to abandon thousands of years ago; and which the Goa'uld wish no one to dream again. In this, I feel more akin to them than I do to some of those I knew best on Abydos.
Another small thing that is done differently here is meal times. Most of the time, men and women eat separately there. Among the Goa'uld, there is no separation between men and women, but no human or Jaff'a may eat with their masters. Here, there is no separation at all, and I think that if the Tok'ra I have heard of were to visit, they would not eat alone either.
Samantha's father is one of the Tok'ra. I can not imagine it, to be *willing* to carry one of the demons within, but she tells me that Selmak (his Goa'uld) does not force her father to do things he does not wish to do, and that they peacefully coexist together within his body. (I did not dare ask how she could be sure this was so... but I wondered.)
O'Neill's garden held many people, all laughing and talking and drinking the mild intoxicants that O'Neill had provided. Janet said I might have a small glass, and I tasted my drink but did not like it. It reminded me of Skaara's "moonshine" too much. Cassandra took it away and brought me a fizzy, dark sweet drink that she said she liked, then settled herself on my lounge to talk with me.
"I wish you and Daniel didn't have to go. Why can't you stay here?"
"I wish to see the rest of my family. It has been a long time since I have been with them." If you sip the "cola" slowly, it does not tickle your nose. Cassandra frowned, slumping a little, playing with the crushed ice in her cup.
"I guess I understand. I'll just miss him. And it would be nice if you could stay. I stayed, and I like it--- I know you would too, Sha'uri. There's rollercoasters, and dogs, and really cool forests that Jack takes me to sometimes---"
"Uh-uh-unh." That is as close as I can come to writing down what Janet said as she joined us, shaking her head. "What did I tell you about bothering Sha'uri? She and Daniel will visit, Cassie. You know that."
"But Moommmmmm..."
"Daniel is not going back to work with you?" I broke in, confused, because no one had mentioned this before. "They do not want him here now? Because he rescued me?"
"No, Sha'uri, that's not it at all. He's not in any trouble." Janet took a deep breath and sighed. "It's just that... Daniel has said some things that make us think he wants to stay on Abydos. That's all."
I frowned. "But... Skaara. We must find Skaara." And my son, I added silently. We must find my child. We can not stay on Abydos.
"Yes!"
"Cassie..." Janet sighed again, and rolled her eyes. Cassandra bounced on my lounge and grinned at her mother. She is not so much younger than Skaara, and I can not help wondering what he would think of her, if they met. "That's not up to us. Daniel and Sha'uri are taking a month to think about it. It's a big decision. So just drop the subject, all right?"
"All right... But I still think they should stay." Before Janet could say anything else, Cassandra jumped up from the lounge. "Ooo, Jack's dishing up the burgers! I'll get yours, Sha'uri. Do you want relish?"
"I do not know. What is it?"
"Yummy! I'll be right back!" She skipped off through the crowds of adults, and Jan'et took her place on the lounge.
"Don't mind her, Sha'uri. She's just nervous about Daniel leaving. She's lost a lot of people in her life."
"Dan'yel has not spoken of this to me," I admitted. "I do not know what we will do." I took another sip of my drink, thinking of the future for the first time. It had been enough to be with Dan'yel the last few days, and to have my father there too, sleeping in the next room. To rest, and heal, and try to forget. But when Jan'et told me that Dan'yel might stay on Abydos... It did not feel right.
Samantha came across the grass leading a much older woman, one whose picture Dan'yel had given a place of honor above his fireplace, and I stood up quickly, smoothing my skirt with nervousness. "I know you," she said to me, before Samantha could speak, smiling wide. "Heavens, Dan'yel wasn't exaggerating about how lovely you are."
"Catherine, this is Sha'uri. Sha'uri, this is Catherine Langford, a very good friend of Daniel's," Samantha said, grinning and looking between the two of us. "I think you two will have a lot to talk about---"
"So we'll just leave you alone," Janet finished for her, standing suddenly. "I have to go put a leash on Cassie, and keep her from tormenting Jack too much..." They wandered away, leaving me standing tongue-tied in front of Daniel's friend, and wishing they had not abandoned me.
"It is an honor to meet you." Dan'yel spoke of Catherine often, on Abydos. More often than he spoke of his parents, who died when he was very young. I felt shy for the first time in days, hoping she would like me, that she would not think it a mistake that Dan'yel had married me. I wished desperately that my English was better, so that I could tell her all that Dan'yel had said of her. "You gave Dan'yel the amulet of Ra, yes?"
"Yes, I did. They weren't going to let an old lady like me go through the Stargate. They were afraid I might break, if you can believe it, so I sent Daniel, and gave him my good luck charm. I understand it came in handy?" Her eyes twinkled, and she did not seem to disapprove of me, so I smiled back cautiously.
"We thought they were gods, that they came from Ra. Because of the amulet. So my people were kind to the Taur'i. It was... very handy. We would not be free now, if we had not done that. And I would not be married to Dan'yel." I held my breath. Any objection she could voice would come now. That I was not from Earth, that I was not as educated as Dan'yel, that I had been taken as a Goa'uld and caused him such pain...
"Then I'm doubly glad I gave it to him." She squeezed my hand and I let out my breath shakily, laughing a little. Whatever she thought of me before this, she was not angry with me now. "Let's sit down, and you can tell me all about your plans for Abydos. You know, I haven't been there yet. Maybe I should talk General Hammond into letting me visit soon."
"I would like that, very much. And you would like it, I think. Dan'yel would be very happy, if you came to our home."
I told her of Abydos, and the pyramids there, and she asked me questions about my people, about our stories and paintings, and we talked and talked until I wondered why I had ever been afraid to meet her. She loves Dan'yel as much as I do, and she loves their work, and she did not seem to mind that I was nothing like Dan'yel.
Cassandra returned with my "burger with relish" (and she was right, it tastes very good), along with an older man of about Catherine's age. She introduced her husband to me and Cassandra and I ate while they discussed the practicalities of a visit to Abydos. I hope they do come to see us; Dan'yel has said that Ernest knows even more of our written language than he does, and they could work together on the writings in the pyramid, along with Catherine. And with so many people there, I could learn even more, and so could my people.
When Dan'yel finally arrived with Teal'c and my father, everyone cheered and raised their glasses and bottles to him. I could see him standing in shock at the door leading from O'Neill's house, looking surprised. Behind him, my father looked smug and delighted. O'Neill clapped Dan'yel on the shoulder and said something to him, grinning widely as Dan'yel shook his head and began to laugh. Cassandra giggled. "Jack didn't tell him there would be so many people," she said, taking another bite of her food. "He thought it would just be SG-1! Ooo, good, Mom got a picture of his face."
"Jack couldn't resist surprising him," Catherine commented, looking amused. "Daniel! Over here!"
My husband turned toward us, and I hastily stood, waving to him to join us. He took one step forward then stopped, his jaw hanging open, looking as dazed as he did on our wedding night. I heard Samantha laughing, and when I glanced in her direction, she had one hand over her mouth to quiet herself. Cassandra was giggling also, and saying, "I told you. I *told* you!"
I shook my head and walked across the lawn to him, reaching out for his hand. "Dan'yel?"
"Hmmm?" He blinked at me behind his glasses, his mouth still partially open. I saw O'Neill behind him, smirking, and I could not help smiling.
"Breathe."
"Wha...? Right." His jaw snapped shut, and he followed me as I led him back to Catherine. "That's... quite a dress, my love," he muttered in my language. "You did that on purpose, didn't you? Bought a dress like that, so you could see my face?"
I replied in the same tongue, keeping my face straight. "Samantha and Janet and Cassandra helped me buy it. They said you would like it. I did not tell them I already knew what you liked." I sat on the lounge and pulled him down next to me, so that he sat between me and Catherine. "But I am glad they were not wrong."
"No, no... they weren't wrong at all." He smiled suddenly, just recognizing whom he was sitting next to, then switched to English as he gave her a hug. "Hello, Catherine. I see you met my wife, hunh?"
"She's a darling. We were just discussing a trip to Abydos in a few weeks for Ernest and myself, if that would be all right?"
"All right? That would be great!"
I let them talk while I ate the rest of my dinner. It was a little difficult with Dan'yel holding my hand, but I managed. It was easier than eating waratok on Abydos with one hand. My father joined us, and he and Cathrin and Ern-est spoke of the arrangements for their visit, and where they would stay. My father insisted they would be our personal guests, as friends and of Dan'yel, and Catherine said that they might do that--- if they could bring their own tent. People from the S.G.C. came over to talk at different times, many of them saying good-bye because they would not be present when we left for home. And again I thought: it is not right. Dan'yel can not leave these people, this fortress. They are his only family. They are fighting our enemies. We can not stay safe and alone on Abydos, and let them fight our battles.
I did not say it. Later, perhaps.... I would ask Dan'yel what he wanted to do. He had been fighting for so long with the Taur'i, and it seemed that he was tired. I could not tell him what he must do. It was not my place.
But I want my child, I wanted to say to him. I want my brother. We can not leave them behind. These others may fight for them, and fight hard, but not as we would. Not as you fought for me.
I was thinking these things when I went to get more cola, struggling with the cap on the glass bottle. Glass is so rare on Abydos--- and so common here, that you can not look around you but you catch the light glinting from it. O'Neill's home had glass *windows*. I did not know how fragile the bottle I held was, but I could not get the closure off of it, and I was afraid to wrench it too hard, for fear of shattering the glass.
"If I may, Sha'uri Jackson?" Teal'c held out his hand for the bottle, and I surrendered it to him. With one twist, he opened it, the cola bubbling over the sides as he handed it back to me. "Be careful. Allow the bubbles to settle before you attempt to drink it."
"Thank you, Teal'c." I watched the foam dissolve, thinking it looked like the sea, when he spoke again.
"There is something I would say to you, Sha'uri Jackson. Will you hear it?" The Jaff'a's face was very grave when I looked up, and I nodded uncertainly. "We have already spoken, once, of my actions in choosing you for Apophis. You said that you did not bear me any grudge for my actions."
"And I do not," I said firmly. It was the truth. There were Jaff'a that Amonet had commanded, who had enjoyed their power--- but Teal'c was not like them. Not when he chose me, on Chu'lak; and not now, now that he was fighting with the Taur'i for his people. "I know --- very well--- what would happen to a Jaff'a who disobeyed him. I know you are not a cruel man. Dan'yel has told me much of you. You are his friend. "
He inclined his head to me in acknowledgment. "I am glad of this. I wish you to know that, after Daniel Jackson has returned to Abydos, I intend to assist Colonel O'Neil and Major Carter in finding your son. He shall be returned to you as soon as possible."
As soon as possible... "Thank you, Teal'c. I... am glad that you will still be looking for him. I know you will do your best. You are a man of honor." I sipped from the bottle, and looked toward Dan'yel as I thought. "Teal'c? My husband --- he has helped the Taur'i much with his knowledge, has he not? He has helped them find many things, like the Asgard."
"Yes. It was Dan'yel Jackson who first sent us to Cimmeria, in search of Thor and his people. He will be sorely missed, when he leaves," Teal'c responded.
"And if he leaves... "
"It will be more difficult. But it will not stop us. We will still succeed," he said calmly.
"I... understand. Thank you." I knew he believed that. I believed it, too; O'Neill is a brilliant military leader, and Teal'c and Samantha are very skilled warriors. And yet...
I walked by General Hammond talking to Samantha on my way back to Dan'yel. "And do I have your promise to never, ever, on your oath as an Air Force officer, do that again?"
"Sir---" Samantha looked very uncomfortable, guilty and troubled. "You don't want me to lie, do you?"
"No, I'm sure Colonel O'Neill can do enough of that for both of you." General Hammond shook his head. "Let me rephrase that. I want you to promise me to *wait* until _after_ I have made use of the appropriate channels before you do something like that again. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough, sir." Samantha looked relieved, then smiled at me, and the General turned to see why.
"Ah. Mrs. Jackson. Good," he said. "I was hoping to speak with you and your husband together. If now is not a bad time?"
"No. It is a fine time, I think," I said hesitantly. General Hammond leads his people the way my father leads ours on Abydos, and he has commanded my husband for two years. More, he commands O'Neill, who listens to him when he will not listen to others. It was almost as bad to speak with him as it was to speak with Cathrin. I think Samantha knew I was anxious, because she put her arm through mine as we walked over to Dan'yel with the General.
"Enjoying the party, Dr. Jackson?" the General asked, as I took my seat next to my husband again.
"Definitely! I just can't believe you all kept it a secret from me this week." Dan'yel shook his head, and put his arm around me as O'Neill and Teal'c came toward us. "It's all pretty overwhelming. First the rescue, and everyone helping, and now this..."
"The SGC takes care of its own, son." General Hammond leaned forward, and studied both of us. "You're going to leave pretty big shoes to fill when you retire."
"I... know. I know. But I can't..." I watched Dan'yel's face, and he shook his head. General Hammond called him 'son'; O'Neill regards him as a brother. Samantha is the sister he never had. Teal'c is another brother, protecting him against the world. The entire army here helped us when he defied the other officers. He will lose so much if he leaves here, no matter what we regain on Abydos...
Dan'yel could not meet the General's eyes. "I need to be home now, on Abydos. I have to think about what's best for my family. It just can't be the same."
"Why not?" I asked Dan'yel in my language.
"What? Quer'ah?" He turned to me, confused, and I held myself very straight, and did not look at the frowning face of my father.
"Why can you not stay here? Why can you not work with them, still?"
"Sha'uri," my father said reprovingly, also in our language, looking at those around us uneasily. "Do not question your husband."
"I am not questioning him, Father. I am asking him. I do not understand." O'Neill and Samantha were looking interested, and Teal'c's expression was becoming very thoughtful as he listened to our conversation. General Hammond's gaze narrowed, moving from me to my husband and back.
"Sha'uri, I want to be with you." Dan'yel took a deep breath, and brushed back my hair. "I couldn't bear to be away from you again. Not after so long. And you wouldn't want to stay here---"
"Yes, I would," I said in English.
"Sha'uri!" My father said, more sharply this time.
"You would?" Dan'yel looked stunned, and I nodded vigorously. "But... Your home, your family---"
"You are my family. My father is, too, but I am married to you. Where you go, I go."
"That's... kinda sweet," O'Neill decided. Samantha was grinning, and Teal'c's face had become more expressionless, but his eyes were warm with humor. Cathrin was smothering a laugh, I think.
"Shut up, Jack." Dan'yel did not even look at him, staring intensely at me."Sha'uri, if you stayed here, I would still be gone for weeks at a time sometimes, and you would be alone---"
"If I were in the fortress, I would not be alone. I could stay there, while Dan'yel was away, yes?" I asked General Hammond.
He smiled consideringly at us. "I don't think that would be a problem."
"General..." Dan'yel shook his head, then looked back at me, studying my face the way he studies the writings on the walls of the tombs. Searching for something, trying to understand. "Sha'uri, you might *hate* it here, everything's different than you're used to---"
"I do not hate it now. I may like it, always."
"You don't speak English---"
"I think we should leave them to fight this out," O'Neill said suddenly, grinning very wide. "Anyone else want another beer?"
"Oh yeah," Samantha agreed hastily, and she and Catherine and Teal'c got up from their chairs and walked back toward the brazier.
Jack tugged my father out of his chair. "C'mon, Kasuf. Let your daughter talk to your son-in-law in peace."
"She should not defy him," Father complained, but without rancor. "But I can not help but think that perhaps...." His voice drifted off as he and Jack and Ern-est followed the others. General Hammond lingered for a moment, and smiled.
"You don't have to make a decision now, Dr. Jackson. You have a whole month. But I think you should really think about it, instead of making up your mind before you even leave." Dan'yel opened his mouth, then closed it, his eyes on General Hammond for a long moment before he looked back at me. "Ma'am," the General said, and reached over to shake my hand. "It's been a pleasure." Then he turned and walked over to the others, still smiling.
I watched them leave, then turned back to respond to my husband's last words as if we had not been interrupted. "I am learning English. I am learning even more than before, yes? Because I remember, from Amonet."
Dan'yel's voice grew softer, and rougher with emotion, as it always did. "If I stayed with the SGC, I might be in danger. Often. I might get hurt, I might die---"
"But you are not afraid," I told him firmly. "I know this."
"No, I'm not, but I don't want to leave you alone! I want to protect you---"
I put my fingers to his mouth, to stop him speaking, then let them fall away when he fell silent, and his eyes dropped to my fingers. He still felt ashamed, then. I whispered as I spoke, not wanting to hurt him, not even with the sound of my voice. "Dan'yel. You have never failed to protect me."
"That's not true." He did not raise his eyes to look at me when he said this, and my heart ached.
"It is." I lifted a hand to stroke his face. "I was taken through no fault of yours, or of mine. We did not know that there was any danger. I have seen enough people hurt by the Goa'uld, now, that I know this is true. There are times we can not fight and win."
He looked up at that, his eyes shiny behind his glasses. "I will not be safer on Abydos with you than I would be here. But..."I took a deep breath, feeling the impulse to weep. "We might find my son, and Skaara, if you stay with the Taur'i. And we might win, if we keep fighting for them. When the time is right." I laced the fingers of my other hand through his. "As you fought for me. We can not stop now. We can win so much more."
His fingers moved, tangling with mine, and he closed his eyes. "I forgot this," he said dreamily. "I forgot just how much of a fighter you were." His fingers tightened on mine. "I swear to you, we will get them back. Your son will be with us, we'll be a family. Skaara will come back. Jack won't stop looking. Neither will the others."
"I know. And if you truly wish to stay on Abydos... then I will say no more." I leaned my forehead against his, listening to the sound of his breath, shutting out the rest of the party. "But I had to tell you what I wished. It is in your hands now."
"Our hands," he said softly. "Ours, Sha'uri. Not just mine." He sighed, opening his eyes, and pulling away far enough to kiss my forehead. "We have a month. And at the end.... we'll see what we want to do."
The party went on for a very long time after that. We sang songs, and ate more food, and I fell asleep against Dan'yel's side before it was all over. A wonderful time, with wonderful people.
Tomorrow we leave for Abydos, and I will see all of my friends again, and my home, the life that was taken from me. I can not sleep now; I am too excited, and happy. To stand under Abydos's three moons again, free and whole--- to have my father, and Dan'yel to care for, and no slaves and Jaff'a intruding... It still feels like a dream, sometimes.
The Goa'uld still live, and we will fight them--- Dan'yel, myself, the Taur'i, my people and those of other worlds --- but I have won the war that I could not fight alone.
Last night I dreamed that I stood above Amonet's burial place and lit a candle for my enemy--- to give her rest, and so keep her far from me and mine. She has no grave except within me, so I do not know what this may mean.... But I have decided that Amonet may dream the peaceful dreams of the dead, and I will not object as long as those dreams are not of me.
Dan'yel is calling me to bed. We leave early tomorrow and need to sleep. I hope to dream of my son, and Skaara, and of giving my child his true name under the stars of Abydos.
Soon, I will tell them. Soon, we will come for you.
As Dan'yel came for me.
-Fin-
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to C. L. Kamnikar
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Eurydice Ascending
by CL KamnikarSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis