**********************************************************
The first thing he saw was blue. A whole heck of a lot of blue. He sat up slowly, staring at his surroundings. “Where am I?” he asked aloud, not knowing where he was or as he realized seconds later, who he was.
“You’re safe now,” a deep voice echoed from behind. There stood a strange looking human with white hair and a uniform. “Your city exploded and you arrived here. Do you remember who you are?” He shook his head, staring at the guy blankly until he continued. “Your name is John. We managed to salvage some of your data logs but they were damaged so I do not know your full name, though you appear to have been a leader among your people.”
At least he knew something. “Have you found others?”
The being nodded and indicated that John should follow, which he reluctantly did. None of this sat right with him. Why couldn’t he remember his past? Shouldn’t he know where he came from? He was led outside into the center of a small makeshift village which looked to be of several hundred people who all turned to look at him. “Your people have eagerly waited and hoped that you would be well enough to lead them.”
Leader? Him? John shook his head, finding the whole scenario unbelievable. He was only partly listening as the man introduced him to the rest of, well, his people. He snapped back to attention suddenly when faced with a beautiful and somehow familiar face.
“I’m Elizabeth,” the woman said, offering her hand. He shook it and stared at her. “Is something wrong sir?” she asked, concerned at his strange look.
“You seem familiar is all.”
“I do? Maybe you’re remembering…” she suggested, her face lighting up slightly, her eyes intense. And it didn’t seem right that she’d called him ‘sir’ either.
“Please, call me John. We don’t know what circumstances brought us here, but I want us to get through this together. That’s what it’s going to take.” Blurring the lines might have been a mistake, but he couldn’t help but feel it was the right thing to do.
Elizabeth didn’t bat an eye but nodded. “I’ll do whatever I can… whatever it takes. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Tell me about the camp and who’s here. And tell me about the people who are helping us and their involvement.” Something tickled at the back of his mind telling him that these people were bad news.
“I’ll do better than that. Let me give you a tour.”
Six months and many events would pass before John would begin to understand his place and the world surrounding him.
**********************************************************
It was a decision he had not reached lightly but it had slowly become the only option in his own mind. “I’m going to go exploring and see what I can find. This can’t be the only food source we’ve got. We’ll need more come winter anyway,” John reasoned. “But I need a few people to go with me.” He rubbed his beard, studying the group.
He’d discussed the decision with his wife the night before and though she hadn’t been thrilled, she understood how he thought. The same doubts he’d been having existed in her own mind. That was part of what had brought them together. They had felt the attraction since the day they “met” again six months before and after three months of not remembering, it seemed only right to move ahead with their lives, to try and give some meaning to them. A few other marriages had taken place, but most people were still reluctant to move on. Sometimes he wondered if they had moved on too soon, but as Elizabeth reminded him, they loved each other and they needed to set an example to everyone else that moving on was alright. She would have offered to come with him but she was now pregnant with their first child. John’s reverie was broken a moment later by the first reactions of the small group he’d called… the small group he trusted.
“Well I’m not going,” Rodney complained. “I like it here fine. Besides, if we don’t have enough, I’m sure Michael will give it to us. They rescued us didn’t they?”
“Granted,” John agreed. “But I don’t want to be completely dependent on anyone. What if they run short of food?” Or what if something more sinister is going on? He flat out did not trust the man named Michael. There was a burning hatred in his eyes that belied his generous and helpful demeanor.
“I’m not going,” Rodney emphasized again.
“I’ll go. I need something to eat besides this slop,” Ronon offered, throwing his bowl of food on the ground.
“Thank you Ronon.”
“I agree with Ronon,” Teyla said, speaking softly. “Either we attempt to grow or we sit here, stagnant. Both are frightening possibilities. There may be more out there and I would rather face the dangers than remain.”
“But you can’t leave,” Rodney objected to John. “You’re the leader. Plus you’ve got a wife who’s pregnant and all that.”
“Elizabeth can lead for a few days. She’s done it before.” Once when he’d fallen ill – victim to hallucinations.
“But she’s… she’s… pregnant,” Rodney objected.
“First of all, we’re the only ones who know that. And she can still kick your ass if need be,” John replied, finally having had enough and invading the other’s personal space. “And if I heard correctly, did just the other day.”
“Aye, you heard right,” Carson input.
“Would you stop it with that stupid accent?” Rodney snapped, whirling around to face the new arrival.
“’Fraid I can’t help it.” He turned to John. “You can count me in. You might need a healer out there and there are plenty left here to care for people.”
John turned back to Rodney. “Stay or go. Decide now.”
Rodney gave an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I’ll go. But I don’t like it and I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“Noted. Just no more whining.”
**********************************************************
The first few nights away, nothing seemed abnormal to John, but then the dreams started. Dreams of a city in the water, dreams of his wife as the leader of their people… The next morning he didn’t mention what he’d seen because it was just dreams after all, right? But then came the things he started knowing… names, places, things that he didn’t know before. They were sitting around the campfire the next night when it came to him. “Sheppard.”
“What?” Rodney asked, looking around. “Do you see sheep around or something?”
“No Rodney,” he replied in an agitated tone. “That’s my last name. My name is John Sheppard.”
“And how could you possibly know that?” Rodney scoffed.
“I don’t know. I just do.”
“I too remember my name,” Teyla offered. “I wasn’t sure if it was truly real or whether I was making it up.”
“The further we’ve gotten from the village, the more I’ve seen of my life and the more I remember,” John puzzled, allowing his team to follow his train of thought back to the source. He watched as the rest of the group, save Rodney nodded in agreement.
“So what you think they’re trying to keep us from remembering? What would be the purpose of that? They saved us!” Rodney protested. “And I’m NOT remembering.”
“Did they save us? Or did they attack us and are keeping us like this for some reason… some other purpose…” John mused. Suddenly, he jumped up and doused the fire.
“Now what the hell did you do that for?” Rodney asked, brushing the water off his clothing.
“If they are keeping us from remembering, we have to stay out here, long enough to know what’s going on. There’s no telling what might happen if they find us… what they might do. If anyone wants to go back to the village now, then go. Otherwise we have to find cover and quickly.”
He wasn’t surprised that no one left, that no one questioned his orders. Even Rodney, who was a skeptical, reluctant man, followed him. All of them seemed to instinctively trust him and his judgement. And if Michael were a part of a sinister plot, then preserving that would be his downfall. They trudged through the darkness of the night and only stopped at the cave they found hours later. “They have more advanced technologies but I heard one of them talking and saying that they couldn’t use their technologies through the rock caves out here. We should be safe.” He knew they were lucky to have found the place when they had as everyone had grown tired.
**********************************************************
The next morning dawned with the hum of a vehicle that John immediately recognized.
Ronon, already awake, confirmed what he knew. “We’ve got several of the small Wraith darts flying overhead. It appears they’re looking for something.”
“More like someone,” Sheppard responded.
“We’ve got to move Sheppard,” Ronon said urgently. “If you want to have any chance of saving the others, we have to get our hands on a craft or find the Stargate on this world. The Wraith aren’t going to give us openings. They will come in force.”
“What the hell am I doing in a cave?” Rodney McKay asked aloud as he shifted away. “Guys, I’ve had the weirdest dream…” He sat up and remained still a moment. “Okay, so eighty-six the dream part.”
“So you’re remembering now then?” Ronon asked in his classic sarcasm.
“Obviously I am otherwise I wouldn’t have just said that. And… wait a second…” he turned to Sheppard. “You and Elizabeth are married?” he exclaimed, being the first one to connect the dots. “And she’s going to have your child?”
“Jealous are we?” Beckett chimed in.
“No,” Rodney replied. “I just think… well, I would have thought that even without her memory she would have married someone a little more…” he paused, searching for the right word.
“Enough!” Sheppard said forcefully before McKay could finish. “We’ve got too much work to do. We can figure out the personal details and insults later. Does anyone have any idea where we might be?”
“We appear to be on the other side of the planet from where Atlantis is located,” Teyla specified. She froze a moment. “There are Wraith nearby.”
“How many?” Sheppard asked.
“At least two, maybe three.” She shook her head, trying to get the sensation out of her head.
“Ronon. Teyla.”
“Let’em come. I’ll rip them limb from limb,” Ronon growled, a furious glare in his eyes.
“Doctors, get back now,” Sheppard ordered as he and the others flattened themselves against the cave walls in the darkness. It wasn’t but moments later that the Wraith stepped through. Sheppard and Teyla tackled the same one as Ronon took care of the other.
Once they were down and sure to be out, the three took their weapons and made a beeline for the ship that had been left behind. “I can land us at a lower platform. We either take back the city or destroy it.”
“Sheppard, if you can hear this, respond.” Michael’s voice echoed over the Wraith ship frequencies. “I have no doubt that you have appropriated that which is ours by now. Unless you’d care to see your wife and child killed, I would suggest you respond.”
“I’m here,” Sheppard replied, into the radio. “What do you want?”
“Your surrender. Then I allow your people to live.”
“If I surrender to you, you expect me to believe that you’ll allow us to live on Atlantis.”
“We no longer desire Atlantis. The technology does not work for us. At the moment, I will settle for taking my revenge out… on you.”
“Give me some time to think about it.”
“You have one hour before I begin executing your friends, who still have no memory of their lives.”
“Understood,” Sheppard replied, cutting off the radio and then turning on the engine of the Wraith ship.
“Sheppard?” Ronon asked.
“We’re taking back Atlantis. If it’s not worth anything to them, they’ll have it minimally guarded. I can fly us to a lower platform and we can sweep the city from there.”
“What about our people?” Beckett asked, concerned.
“You let me worry about that.”
**********************************************************
Shortly after arriving the team split up, moving to take their places in scouting the city and the almost suicidal seek and destroy mission. Sheppard looked over at the somewhat bewildered and lost doctor. “You’ll be fine Doc. Just stay here and take care of my team.”
“You’re not coming back,” Beckett suddenly realized, catching the extra meaning in the words.
“The Wraith want me. They want revenge on me. So, no, I don’t expect to make it back. I’m not saying I want to die, but I am going to give you all a chance to live and take out as many Wraith as I can.” He loaded another gun and handed it to the doctor. “You see any Wraith, just point and fire, and keep firing as long as you need.”
Sheppard started to leave, then turned back. “Take care of Elizabeth doc. I’m counting on you to do that.”
“You know I will,” Carson promised. He was one of a few that knew of the child. Only the small circle of friends had been told, even in the village.
**********************************************************
The way back to the village wasn’t hard nor was his entrance hard to mask. The Wraith were waiting for him elsewhere, but for now he had to save his people, to warn them. He made his first stop to find Elizabeth and he found her outside what had been their home.
“Elizabeth,” he said, his greeting urgent and all business.
“John, we’ve been so worried. Michael said you had all been infected with a contagion.”
He clamped a hand over her mouth to keep her from speaking further and pulled her aside behind a stand of trees. “Michael and his friends aren’t what they seem. You have to run.”
“But what about the others…”
“I’ll take care of them. You have to get out of here before they hurt you or the baby.”
“But…”
“Do you trust me?” Sheppard asked softly, framing her face with his hands. “Do you really trust me?” She nodded wordlessly. “Then run, Elizabeth. That way I can do my job and not worry about you both.” The normal Elizabeth Weir would never leave him or anyone else behind. He just prayed that she wouldn’t be that stubborn about this. He handed her a gun. “Use this if you have to.”
“Come back to me John,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around him. He lost himself in the moment for mere seconds, but allowed himself that one reprieve from his duty.
He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he was afraid to make things harder on her when she regained her memory and he wasn’t there. The replicator like beings had made her suffer so much loss before this mess, and before that was losing the man she wanted to be with for the rest of her life. He didn’t want to add to that. “Be safe,” was all he managed before returning to the task at hand.
Slowly, carefully, he made his way from tent to tent, tasking others with spreading the word, with organizing the teams. His people trusted him but it still surprised him just how many had suspected something was wrong with the situation.
Some would die. John Sheppard was savvy enough about fighting for causes to know that some casualties would result. However, the vast majority would live to reclaim Atlantis. He turned to leave the village, to move to the agreed meeting spot.
“I knew you would return. You care about your people far too much for your own good,” Michael’s voice echoed from behind him.
“It’s called loyalty. Something you never will understand. How is it that you are still alive?”
“A handful of us escaped.” Michael motioned with his arm and they were both swept up in a beam of light. “We swore vengeance. Now watch as your people are decimated. They will become a plentiful feeding ground for the rest of us.”
“I don’t think so,” Sheppard replied, smirking. He’d ordered some to leave the village and the rest to hide in basement style shelters that had been built under the houses. Wraith beams on the small ships would be horribly inaccurate at that range. He smirked again as they realized the problem. His people were safe. That was enough for him. He prayed for a quick death as the blast from a weapon hit him and he fell into blackness.
**********************************************************
“How did you know?” the voice hissed in his ear, a harsh wake up call. A hand grabbed his throat and suddenly John Sheppard couldn’t breathe.
“I didn’t. It’s in my nature to be skeptical. But we got you. We won. My people got away.” To him, that was victory.
“But you did not.”
“My death will be a small price to pay. And one I was willing to give.” He only had one regret – not being able to see Elizabeth again, to talk about them, the child and to give her a measure of comfort in his fate, but then, she was strong. She’d get through it. He only prayed that she would forgive him.
“We are going to do much worse than kill you Colonel Sheppard.”
“Bring it on,” he growled back defiantly, determined to fight until the end.
**********************************************************
Back on Atlantis the crew recovered fairly quickly, some faster than others, and to many it was a strange sensation. Though they had all retained basic facets of their personality, even without their memories, some had found themselves friends with former competition and enemies of former friends, or even married to someone who was not their own. Elizabeth Weir recovered quickly, but the memories of the day before… of John and their marriage still resonated strongly within her.
“You do understand that he’s not coming back… that the Wraith have him…” Rodney McKay reminded her, interrupting the few moments of peace she’d managed to take for herself.
“That the Wraith have him, that I can accept. That he’s not coming back, I’ll have to get back to you on that one.” The look of determination never left Elizabeth’s face. John had given everything to protect the Atlantean crew, even without his memory. She owed him nothing less than her best. She fingered the small ring he’d given her. By Earth’s standards it wouldn’t have been worth much, but to her, now it was priceless. Yes, she had her memories back of their professional relationship, and maybe it was the hormones as Beckett had suggested, but she also had the memories of John, the lost leader who managed to find a fountain of strength within himself and support the others.
Elizabeth Weir did not look forward to getting back in touch with Stargate Command. As soon as they found out she was pregnant they would have her removed from command of the venture.
Carson pulled her aside a short time later. “No one would blame you for choosing command over a child, especially given the nature of the last six months… I… I know it’s not an appealing option, but I wanted to make the offer. I support you no matter what you choose to do.”
“I’m keeping the child, Carson,” she said firmly. “But thank you.”
“This means absolutely no off world missions and Stargate Command will eventually have to be notified.”
“I know. I’ll handle it.”
“Elizabeth?” he started. She turned to face him. “You’re not alone in this.”
“I never thought I was.”
Wrong or right, she was in love with John Sheppard. And deep down she knew they would find him again. He was too appealing as leverage for the Wraith to completely pass up. She paused for a long moment, looking out at the ocean. After a few minutes, she turned and purposefully went back to her duties, letting John go. It wasn’t goodbye, but she had a city to run if they were going to be in any shape to rescue him when the opportunity presented itself. For now, Elizabeth was gone, with all the worries and fears that surrounded having the baby and being married to John. They could haunt her sleep in her dreams. Dr. Weir was back and had a lot to do.
**********************************************************
The End.
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