A/N: After chatting with Mary Christmas about our favorite actor with his shirt off in the SciFi original pictures "DarkLight", she rolled her eyes and asked what I would do next, stick him in black leather? Well...yes. Actually. I would. grins evilly
"Athosian Ritual"
"I am not going to come out dressed like this," Rodney McKay told the person waiting on the other side of the door, "It's degrading and I really see no point to it."
"Oh come on, McKay," Sheppard's teasing voice responded, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Is there?"
"Yeah, like unsightly love handles." Ford this time, and he sounded like he was about to break into fits of laughter.
Rodney glared at the door, knowing it would have no effect on the two would-be comedians, but feeling better for it anyway. "Oh har-de-har-har," he deadpanned, "It's a wonder the two of you haven't set up a routine yet and for your information, being dressed in tight black leather is uncomfortable as well as embarrassing. Especially when the shirt-vest-whatever doesn't fit."
Teyla had come to them earlier in the day and told them about a ritual her people went through. Twelve single men were chosen to wear the special costumes, but the woman would elaborate no further on what the ritual entailed. Of the Atlantians, only he, Sheppard and Ford had been chosen. Again, there was no information as to the logic of this choosing.
Rodney shifted uncomfortably. Actually, despite all his protests to the contrary, the leather was quite nice. It was soft, supple and fit rather well. It just reminded him of a time in his life he'd rather forget.
And they would have to put him in burning coals before he'd ever tell them he'd once belonged to a rock band, small and unknown though it was.
"Come on out, McKay," Sheppard said, all hints of teasing gone, "Or I'm coming in there to get you."
"Yeah," Ford seconded, "If we have to go through with this, then so do you."
"All right, but I'm not putting on the collar."
He stepped out of the room and glared at the two military men who grinned upon seeing him. "Don't say anything. And why didn't you get collars?"
Ford and Sheppard traded glances.
"We did," Sheppard hedged, "But...we're going to wait and see if they're absolutely necessary."
Rodney grinned triumphantly. "Ah ha! So I'm not the only one failing to notice the significance of whatever this ritual thing is."
Ford rolled his eyes. "Whatever, we better get going or we're gonna be late. Honestly, you'd think you were a woman with how long it took you. What? Were you admiring yourself in the mirror again and lost track of time?"
That earned the young lieutenant a scowl, but Sheppard ushered them along the corridor to the Puddle Jumper Bay before Rodney could retort. Thankfully, the way was clear of people due to most of them having gone to the mainland to witness the ceremony. Whatever it was.
When they got to the mainland, Halling immediately escorted them to a large clearing behind a curtain. Nine other men, Athosians, waited there already. They were dressed in black leather also, so Rodney didn't feel too bad.
"You must put those on," Halling told them when they were settled, "It is a part of the ceremony."
"Yeah," Rodney agreed, though he didn't put the collar on, "Just what is this ritual anyway?"
Halling blinked. "Teyla did not tell you?"
"No," Sheppard said, "She said it was to be a surprise."
"Ah. Well, every year, twelve men are chosen through a lottery to stand on display, and then six females who know that man will stand to speak for them. The one who knows them the best will have his services for a day..."
"What?!"
Sheppard and Ford echoed the sentiment.
Halling held up his hands in a placating manner, "It was originally intended as a courting ritual, but is now merely for fun. You...do not have to participate if you do not wish." The expression on his face told that he would be very disappointed if they didn't.
Of course the two officers immediately acquiesced. They didn't want to disappoint their new friends.
Rodney on the other hand, was having none of it. If there were an out, then he'd take it. Except that Sheppard was now glaring at him. He sighed. The major would give him hell on the next mission if he didn't do this right now.
"Fine," Rodney muttered, "But could you at least tell me what part the damn collars play in all this?"
"Those were an additional suggestion by Dr. Weir when she was asked to contribute to the ceremony. It was so we could allow you in," Halling explained, "since she is your leader, something of Earth had to be introduced. Are all of you well?"
The three men were choking. Sheppard was the first to recover and patted Rodney on the back until his coughing fit ceased.
"Did you just say...it was Elizabeth's suggestion?"
"Yes," Halling answered, sounding confused, "She said it was similar to a ritual on Earth called a..." he hesitated as he tried to come up with the proper term, "oh yes. A bachelor auction. She said that the one she attended did this, and that I am not to tell you any more. Now, I must go and start the ceremony."
Rodney looked at the other men waiting around. They all looked about the same age as Ford, if not a little younger. He was, however, glad to note that they looked uncomfortable wearing the collars too. Damn. Who knew Elizabeth could be so sneaky?
"I think I'm going to have a word with Dr. Weir when this is all over," Sheppard said in a strangled voice, "I've been to an auction like that too and..." he trailed off and shook his head.
"And what sir," Ford said, all humor gone from his voice.
Rodney was eager for the answer as well. He'd heard of bachelor auctions of course, but somehow he didn't think his father would have attended one if collars were involved.
"What usually goes with collars?" Sheppard asked, seeming nonchalant.
"What kind of an answer is that?" Rodney was indignant, "'What usually goes with collars?' Honestly, do you think you could be more...oh." He felt himself go pale. "Surely she wouldn't have...not Elizabeth. No. She would never subject us to such humiliation. Would she?"
No one answered him.
Then it was time. By threes the men were led out from behind the curtain. The ones left behind could hear catcalls and whistles but nothing of what was being said. Finally it was down to just the three from Earth. Halling beckoned to them and Sheppard and Ford followed. Rodney stubbornly stood his ground, but Sheppard came back and pulled him along.
When they stepped out from behind the curtain, the first thing Rodney noticed was the rope cordoning off the area where they were standing. Then he noticed the rather large audience, consisting of not only the Athosians but many people from Atlantis as well. Again, he was reminded of his time in the band, though they had played only once before an audience. He had had stage fright then too.
There were more whistles and hoots, and Rodney could make out a couple of his colleagues grinning and pointing at the stage. He scowled. Damn Kavanaugh and his elitist group. He'd never hear the end of this one. And where the hell was Elizabeth? He couldn't find her anywhere in the crowd. Teyla either for that matter.
"Lieutenant Aiden Ford," Halling announced, "Please step forward and present your merits."
Ford took a step towards the rope and cleared his throat uncertainly. He looked back at Halling who nodded encouragingly. "Well, I'm a lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps and I'm good with guns. I'm uh...stable and a good listener."
Cheers went up as he finished, and Rodney could see the young man coloring slightly.
"Now, I present those who know you well."
The crowd parted and six young women stepped forward. Three were Athosian women who the lieutenant had shown around the base, the other three were from Earth. Rodney didn't know them, but he thought they were all military. He zoned out as they began talking about what they had done in the past and how well they knew Ford. Who would be stepping up for him? Simpson probably, he knew her the best. There were a couple of other women too, but his mind kept coming back to one in particular.
`No,' he told himself shortly, `It's highly unlikely that Elizabeth will be one of those women. Even if she has known me the longest.'
He was abruptly brought out of his reverie by the sight of Sheppard being led away on a leash by Teyla. Rodney shook his head slightly and began to panic. He hadn't even realized Ford was done, much less Sheppard.
"Doctor Rodney McKay. Please step forward and present your merits."
Rodney swallowed nervously and stepped towards the rope. He sent a pleading glance in Halling's direction, but the man merely smiled encouragingly. "I'm a certified genius," he began, thinking rapidly, "And the smartest guy here or in my own galaxy. I like to take moonlit strolls on beaches and I like apple pie." There was a unified chuckle from the Atlantians, and when it seemed that he was done, a cheer rose up from the entire crowd. Rodney sighed in relief.
"Now, I present those who know you well."
Once again, the crowed parted and six women walked forward. Simpson, Dr. Connors, an Athosian he didn't really know very well, Kaffrey, Tanning and...his heart nearly stopped. Elizabeth. She had a teasing smile on her face as she looked up at him, and he found himself grinning back.
One by one the women spoke about how well they knew him until it was only Elizabeth left. Rodney frowned as he noticed her smile grow wider. Then she began talking.
"Well, I've known Dr. McKay since before we came to Atlantis. We've worked closely together to get everything ready and make sure this expedition is a success. I know that he likes chocolate and that he's a little insecure (Rodney glared at her as she said this) but he's actually a very sweet man once you get past his faade."
Halling smiled when she had finished and then went to confer with two other men Rodney hadn't noticed before. Then he came back and held his hands up to the crowd. "It is our decision that Dr. Elizabeth Weir has presented the most evidence of knowledge of the participant. It is to her his services shall be given for a day."
He beckoned and held out a leash. Rodney groaned as Elizabeth stepped over the rope, took hold of the leash and then snapped it to the collar around his neck.
"Relax, Rodney," she whispered, amusement dancing in her tone, "I'm not going to make you do anything unusual."
"Oh gee, thanks for the words of comfort. They really helped." His tone was only half as sarcastic as normal. For some reason, no matter how angry he was at the woman, he could never muster the full force of it when she was near him.
Elizabeth just laughed and gave a gentle tug on the leash. Rodney scowled at her, but followed obediently in any case.
"You're really enjoying my complete and total humiliation, aren't you?" Rodney asked, "Well, that's all very well and good for you but,"
"Rodney. Shut up."
"Yes ma'am."
-------
Elizabeth glanced back at the man following her, and couldn't keep the tiny smile from creeping back on to her face. She doubted he'd appreciate her amusement, but it was just too funny. Actually, she hadn't realized Rodney had been chosen for the ritual until Halling had approached her in the crowd and asked her to speak, even though she had been the one to suggest the collars.
That particular idea had come in a moment of childishness after trying to come up with a good way to embarrass Major Sheppard after a prank he and Lieutenant Ford had pulled on her. Good thing she was almost positive McKay had been involved as well, or she might be feeling a little guilty at the moment. And it had nothing to do with the fact that the physicist looked really good in black leather, although that was something of a plus.
`Nothing wrong with looking,' she told herself. It was what Simon had told her when he'd been ogling the `legs-with-a-brain' diplomat from Sweden.
"Can I speak, oh Mistress, or am I supposed to stay silent and follow your every whim with no complaint?"
Rodney's voice drove thoughts of Simon from her mind and she glanced back at him again. He had a petulant expression on his face, and his arms were crossed. All in all, he looked like a sulky child.
Elizabeth's smile turned into a full-fledged grin as she answered, "Can I even hope to keep you quiet for even a minute?"
A similar grin appeared on the man's face, though it quickly disappeared. Obviously, he was still upset about it and wasn't going to forgive her anytime soon. Well, too bad for him. If he wanted to act that way and make things more difficult on himself, then who was she to say he shouldn't.
Giving the leash a little tug--she found she rather enjoyed doing that--she led her `slave' into the room that had been designated her office.
"Do you really have to do that?" Rodney whined, "You could cause permanent damage you know, I'm kind of sensitive in that area."
His words caused highly inappropriate thoughts to filter through Elizabeth's mind, and she pushed them aside with some difficulty. Okay, the black leather was affecting her more than she realized. Perhaps it was time to end this...but no. She had promised the Athosians that she'd participate fully in their ritual, and she didn't want to go back on her word. Not when they had finally rebuilt a fragile bond of trust. It was the least she could do. Besides, she was an adult, not some horny teenager.
"I didn't pull that hard," she told him, "so quit whining." It came out a little more snappish than she intended and she winced.
"I'm sorry if I totally fail to see the significance of continuing this farce," Rodney bit back heatedly, "I mean, it's not like the Athosians are going to know...what?" He had broken off and was giving her that hurt/annoyed look.
She hadn't realized she was glaring at him, and carefully schooled her features. "That's just it, Rodney," she said, "Whether or not they know or whether you understand what it means to them, we've given our word."
"And we can't go back on it," he sneered mockingly.
"No."
"No," Rodney repeated with a sigh, giving in, "Fine, I'll go along with this if you'll get rid of the leash--or at least stop tugging on it. I already know it was your idea."
"All right," Elizabeth agreed, relieved he had capitulated.
"So, what am I supposed to do, exactly?" Rodney asked, sitting down on the corner of her desk, "Halling said something about giving our services for the day, but I doubt it means exactly what it sounds like...are you okay?"
Elizabeth had started choking when she realized what he was saying, but she got control of herself fairly quickly and took a deep breath before answering, "I'm fine. And no, I don't think it means...that. I think you're just supposed to perform little odd jobs, perhaps a serenade or two."
She had been joking on the last part, but Rodney's face had gone pale and he began stuttering, "I...can't...I mean, you can't want me to...but I...no...I just...singing's really not my forte."
Placing a hand on his shoulder--which was bare due to the fact that his `shirt' was merely a vest--she said, "I was only joking Rodney. I won't ask you to sing," she trailed off and wondered what sort of traumatic experience had caused the man to react in this manner, but didn't ask. If he wanted to tell her, he would.
The relief on his face was swift and he gave her a smile that he usually only reserved for the technology he discovered and worked with. She was flattered, in a way.
"Oh, well, in that case, what do you want me to do first, your reports? I doubt you want me seeing those, at least some of them. What else do you do around here?" He stood up and began roaming around her office.
"Actually," she said with a grin--he was really going to hate this--"I was thinking more of you going and getting coffee or food when I needed it. And you can keep me company while I finish the reports up."
Sure enough, the petulant expression returned to Rodney's face. "You mean I'm being relegated to nothing more than a secretary wearing black leather?"
"Oh no," Elizabeth assured him, almost laughing at the hopeful look on his face, "You're being relegated to nothing more than a `Go-for', which is not quite secretary yet." She ignored the black leather comment, as it was highly distracting.
"Oh yes, very amusing," Rodney bit out acridly, "for you."
"That's right," she agreed, "So, my first order of the day is...go get me some fresh coffee." She held up her mug, dangling it in his face a little.
Rodney grumbled, but he snatched the mug and stalked out of the office, mumbling something about his time being valuable and why it was being wasted on something so trivial was beyond him.
Elizabeth couldn't stop herself from calling out after him, "Remember, Rodney, service with a smile!"
The astrophysicist turned his head, gave her a dirty look and continued on his way.
Elizabeth laughed. This wasn't such a bad plan, after all. She'd have to remember to thank Halling for including them in the ritual.
---
Teyla smiled brightly at John as he walked beside her, the leash forgotten. The man from Earth was so intriguing. He had a direct way about him that she found appealing and the fact that he was very handsome didn't hurt either.
"This is Liz's way of getting me and Ford back for the little `incident' isn't it?" John asked, humor coloring his tone as he indicated the leash and collar.
"I believe so," Teyla answered. She loved it when his eyes sparkled like that.
"Yeah well...it backfired."
"It did?"
John grinned rakishly and waggled his eyebrows before answering. "Oh yeah. I happen to like black leather..."
"Leather?" Sometimes Earth terms confused her, and she always tried to clarify them as soon as she could.
"It's what we call this," he waved his hands across the ceremonial costume, "material on earth. And as I was saying, I happen to like wearing it. All the bad boys do."
"And are you bad, Major?" she knew he didn't mean bad in the sense that the word was normally used, but couldn't help asking anyway. She loved hearing his voice; it was both warm and rough, even when he was upset or angry.
John waggled his eyebrows again and said, "Oh yeah. The worst. So," he clapped his hands together, "What `services' am I suppose to give you?"
Teyla raised an eyebrow, but resisted the urge to tell him exactly which of his services she'd like. "I'd like for you to tell me more of Earth, perhaps some legends you have there."
"Oh, that I can do. We've got lots of legends. My favorite was always Hercules..."
As John's voice trailed off, Teyla turned to see what had captured his attention, slightly annoyed. This Hercules sounded intriguing. Then, her eyes widened and she had to keep herself from laughing.
Dr. McKay was struggling with a large pot of what the Earth people called `coffee' while attempting to keep from tripping on the leash that dangled down to his feet.
"Shit!" John said, "Teyla, go get some cold water. Now."
Teyla ran to the kitchens and filled one of the pots that was used to make stew with water and then more slowly carried it out to where she had last seen John and McKay. The reason for the water became apparent as steam rose from the two men who had had the hot coffee spilled all over them.
John had taken off his shirt and was attempting to pull McKay's off as well.
"Come on McKay! Most of the coffee is on here, you need to get it off."
"Most of the coffee is on me!" McKay yelled back, "And it's already too late, I'm probably already horribly scarred."
John gave a sharp tug, and the supple leather vest ripped. Teyla swiftly poured the water over the two men.
"Ah! That's cold!" McKay shouted, glaring up at her, "Do you have any idea what hypothermia is?"
"Shut it, McKay," John said tiredly, "and look. No horrible scarring. Do you really want to go to the infirmary and explain how this happened?"
McKay instantly subsided, though he still looked petulant.
Teyla hardly noticed though, as she had suddenly become fascinated with the major. Water beaded on his bare chest, clinging to the hair there. She felt her cheeks go red, but she couldn't look away.
"What is going on here?"
Teyla tore her gaze from the intriguingly bare-chested major and looked up to see Dr. Weir standing with her arms crossed, her expression torn between amusement and anger.
"Oh, McKay here just had a little accident with the coffee," John said, "We were just cleaning up is all."
"Yes, and it's your fault, Elizabeth," McKay said, "If you hadn't made me...okay so it was entirely my fault," he continued at Dr. Weir's raised eyebrow, "I should have tied the leash up somehow, or just taken it off. But that's not the point. The point is that...are you even listening to me?"
Teyla noted with some amusement that Dr. Weir was staring at McKay as she had been staring at John earlier. It was good to know that the leader of the Earth people was just as human as the Athosian leader.
"Teyla?" Dr. Weir asked, sounding strangled, "do they have to wear the costume for the entire day?"
"No," Teyla answered.
"Okay, go get some dry clothes on then, both of you."
McKay instantly turned towards his quarters, but John stayed a moment, grinning at Dr. Weir. Ah, so he had noticed too, had he?
"I'm guessing `wet McKay' is harder to deal with than `black-leather' McKay, right Dr. Weir?"
The doctor just raised an eyebrow and turned her back on the two of them, but not before they saw her cheeks turn red.
After she was gone, John turned to Teyla, "Well, I'm going to get changed. I'll meet you at your quarters, okay?"
Teyla nodded and smiled as she watched him walk away. This was turning out to be a wonderful day.
---------------------
"...and so Arachne was cursed to forever spin webs for her insolence in challenging a goddess."
John sighed contentedly as he leaned back against the outer wall of the city, Teyla sitting in his lap. They twenty-four hour period was almost up, and he was using the last of the time giving the Athosian a massage. He had spent most of the day telling as many old stories he could think of--that he remembered with any accuracy.
"That was an...interesting story," Teyla murmured, leaning back into his hands, "Your planet seems to have a lot of ways in which to explain natural phenomenon."
John shrugged lightly, finished with the massage, and pulled her back so that she was lying against him with her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, well, I've just found out that some of those old legends were based--at least partially--in truth. Take Atlantis for instance. We've had stories and legends about the fabled `lost city' for centuries, and I've always thought they were just that--stories. Turns out all those archaeological fanatics were right, it just wasn't on Earth as expected."
Teyla shifted slightly and looked up at him, an amused smile on her face, "Then do you believe that a woman was transformed into a spider?"
A laugh escaped him and he shook his head. "Hey, I did say `partially' based on fact," he defended.
She shook her head and shifted again so that she was looking out at the view of the sun reflecting off the blue waters of the planet. He put his arms around her and set his chin on the top of her head. They sat that way for a long moment, content simply to be in each other's presence, in the simple contact they shared.
John reflected on his life up until this point. He hadn't wanted to come on the Atlantis expedition, despite the definite `nowhere' he was headed with his military career. And yet, the flip of a coin had decided his fate and here he was, sitting with a beautiful woman that he knew he could love, that he was already in love with.
He'd never had a serious relationship before, never even considered it. Being in the Air Force didn't give much time for that, or rather, he let it not have much time for it. After seeing what his parents had, he'd known that that was what he wanted and he'd doubted he'd ever find his perfect soul mate on Earth.
He'd been right. John grinned and tightened his hold on Teyla. They'd had a connection from the moment he met her, and it had only grown stronger in the time since. If Lizzie had wanted to embarrass him, or whatever with the ritual thing, then it had totally backfired, because it had given him this small chance to relax and to spend time with the Athosian woman.
"Time is almost up," Teyla said softly.
"Oh no...we've got all the time in the world," John corrected, "Just because the day is almost over doesn't mean I want to stop this."
Teyla snuggled further back into his chest. "Neither do I," she murmured.
"Why don't we go back to my quarters?" he suggested.
"Yes," Teyla agreed.
But neither of them moved, both not wanting to break the comfort they'd fallen into just yet. It was nice to just be able to gaze at the view without worry overshadowing everything for once.
"Is that not Dr. Weir?" Teyla suddenly asked, pointing to the next balcony over.
John raised his head and looked. Sure enough, Dr. Weir was standing with her hands grasping the railing, looking out over the vast ocean. McKay, however, was nowhere in sight.
"Wonder what's going on there?" He remembered how flustered the woman had been during the `coffee incident', and hoped she hadn't dismissed the excitable scientist just because she was embarrassed over a little attraction.
"Why's she so worried about it anyway?" he asked aloud.
"Why is she so worried about what?" Teyla wanted to know.
John shook his head slightly as he answered, "About being attracted to McKay. I mean, she's always treated him differently than most people do."
"Ah," said Teyla knowingly, "She is a leader, and most likely feels that her attraction is inappropriate. Some would see it as favoritism."
"Maybe," John said, "but I'm not so sure. I think there's something else."
"And why are you so concerned over it?" Teyla asked, amusement lacing her voice.
"Because," John grinned, "I'm a nosy busy-body in love, and think everyone else should be too." He held his breath, wondering if she had caught his words, hoping they hadn't come too soon.
"Oh, well, in that case perhaps we should retire to your quarters," Teyla responded, quite seriously, "because I feel the same way."
She gently extricated herself from his arms and stood so that she was looking down at him. Smiling, she extended a hand to help him up. He grinned and took it, and the two of them made their way back inside towards his quarters, still holding hands.
----
Freedom was just an hour away, only a measly little sixty minutes. So why didn't he feel as relieved as he should have?
Rodney sighed and glanced at the small device he'd been staring at without seeing for the past five minutes. It had been Elizabeth's last order to him, before she'd gone on and begun working on her paperwork, leaving him to his own devices. He hadn't been relieved then, either. In fact, he'd been more than a little disappointed, and hurt that she didn't seem to want him around.
What had happened to make her change so drastically from earlier? To make that wickedly amused sparkle in her eyes turn to distance?
Not that he cared of course. Oh all right, he did care. A lot. Which was the whole problem. She was his friend, the first friend he'd had since he was eleven and had gotten in trouble for the whole atomic bomb thing, and he didn't want to ruin that friendship with a little attraction.
Maybe that's why she had become so distant? Maybe she had picked up on it and was uncomfortable but didn't want to mention it for fear of awkwardness. The more he thought about it, the more Rodney was certain that was the case. Well, he'd just have to go find her and assure her that he was not in anyway interested in her except as a friend.
Feeling a weight lift from his shoulders at the prospect of resuming his relationship with Elizabeth as it had been, he practically bounced out of the lab; ignoring the stares Zelenka kept giving him.
He met Teyla and Sheppard in the corridor on his way, the two of them holding hands and whispering in each other's ears. Rodney rolled his eyes. How disgusting. Couldn't the two of them get a room or something?
Sheppard noticed him first and grinned in that annoying manner Rodney hated sometimes. "She's out on the balcony," Sheppard remarked, then he and Teyla continued on their way before Rodney could retort.
"What's he know about it, anyway," he muttered to himself. He nonetheless went in the direction of the balcony.
Elizabeth was standing at the edge, her hands gripping the railing tightly--he could see how white her knuckles were--and staring off into the distance. Rodney stopped just outside the door, not even jumping when it slid closed behind him, and did some staring of his own.
She was very pretty, outlined as she was against the blue sky, wearing the informal slacks and red shirt she had worn to the ceremony. The sight of her almost caved in his resolve to act as if he weren't attracted, but he remembered how calm he felt after speaking to her, even when they were arguing and straightened his shoulders.
"Elizabeth?" he asked tentatively.
The woman jumped and turned around, placing a hand over her chest and gazing at him with wide eyes. "Don't sneak up on me like that," she admonished, then collected herself and gazed at him coolly. "Is there something I can help you with?"
Rodney twitched slightly, unsure of how to go on, then took a deep breath and plunged in. "Actually, I believe that's supposed to be my line. There is still an hour left before the day is up, and somehow I don't think me working in my lab while you stand staring out at the amazing view Atlantis has to offer is what the Athosians had in mind. So, you wanna talk about what's bothering you?" He had said all of this very fast, making the sentences almost one long run-on.
Elizabeth blinked and then smiled sadly. "I don't think so, but thank you for asking, Rodney. It means a lot to me that you did."
Well, that was something at least. Rodney smiled back and walked over so that he was standing beside her. "You know, you probably won't get another offer like that one. I'm not usually so accommodating."
"Really?" The question was sarcastic.
Rodney rolled his eyes and turned to stare out at the ocean. He'd always hated doing that, but somehow, here on Atlantis he didn't mind. There was just something so right about it. As if he were finally home after moving several times.
"I know what you mean," Elizabeth said, and it took Rodney a minute to realize he'd spoken his thoughts aloud, "And that's part of the problem."
Rodney held his breath, but didn't say anything, for fear that she wouldn't continue, and turned to face her.
"I shouldn't feel this way, shouldn't want to be here so much," she said after a long minute, "When I left, even though I knew it was probably going to be a one-way trip, I didn't let myself think on it too much. I kept telling myself that we would find something and get back quickly."
She paused and took a deep breath before going on. "I left Simon knowing I wouldn't come back, but giving him hope that I would." She gave a short mirthless laugh. "I didn't even tell him the truth in person...I only made a video tape, waiting until the last minute to make sure I'd either already be in Atlantis or at least out of reach by the time he was given clearance and saw the video. What kind of person does that make me?"
She had someone back home?
"Do you...love him?" It
cost
Rodney a lot to ask that question, but he had to. And not just for his own benefit. She obviously needed someone to talk to. Really.
"I've known him ever since I was little," Elizabeth responded, "We've dated on and off since high school, and we've always known we'd eventually end up together. We took the same courses in college, and have basically the same job."
"That doesn't answer the question," Rodney pointed out.
She sighed and gazed down at her feet. "I know. I guess, the answer is, I really don't know whether or not I love him." She looked back up at Rodney, keeping her eyes on his, "That's not the point though, we were together, and it wouldn't be fair to just...forget about him."
"Of course not," Rodney agreed, "but you weren't thinking about fair when you left. You know what I think?" Rodney didn't wait for a response and continued on in a hurry, "I think subconsciously, you wanted a way out. I mean, you made sure every member of this team was unattached back home, and you could have given the leadership over to anyone of the anthropologists with diplomatic skills. But you didn't. You came too."
"Because it was the chance of a lifetime," Elizabeth retorted, sounding almost desperate, "Simon would have done the same thing."
"That's exactly my point," Rodney quickly interjected, "I know, that if I had someone I loved, I would do everything in my power to make sure I was able to be with them. If he was given clearance, then I'm pretty sure he would have been able to get enough clearance to go on the expedition if you asked it, right? We could have used more diplomats, I'm pretty sure."
"You're right."
The words were so soft, Rodney could barely make them out. When he did, he grinned slightly and said, "Of course I am. That's why I'm the smartest guy here."
She smiled and looked away, then looked back, completely serious. "Thank you, Rodney. For listening and for...making me see some things."
They stared at each other for a long moment, and something passed between them. Something fragile and not quite within their reach yet, but something nonetheless.
"You're welcome," Rodney said, breaking the tension.
Elizabeth took a deep breath and then grinned wickedly. "Now, we've still got a few minutes until the day is up, and there's something I want to ask you."
"Damn. I thought I'd be home free," Rodney muttered, but only half-heartedly, "Okay, do your worst."
"Why are you so afraid of singing?"
"Of all the things..." Rodney groaned, "Fine. I was in a rock band when I was in high school, only it didn't work out too well."
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "You mean, all that angst over the singing was just because you were embarrassed at having been in a rock band?"
"Yes," he answered defensively, "It's not exactly something I want getting around. I mean what would people think if they knew I used to dress in leather and run around half-naked all the time? My reputation would be shot."
Elizabeth laughed. Rodney soon followed, as the sound was contagious.
"Well," she said once she had composed herself, "I suppose we'd better get back inside. It's starting to get a little chilly out."
The two of them walked side by side, both silent and reflecting. Who knew that a simple ritual could have brought about so much?
The END
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