Doctors' Elizabeth Weir and Carson Beckett walked through the corridors of Atlantis slowly, supporting Rodney as they made their way to his quarters. After spending almost two hours in the infirmary getting checked over and being given pain medication it had been decided that the best thing for him was plenty of rest and regular pain killers for a few hours and after two hours of whining about how much he hated the infirmary it had been decided that for the sanity of the infirmary staff the best place for him would be his quarters. He'd had a painful muscle spasm caused by the way he had been laying at his desk and was still suffering with his back now but Carson had agreed it was all right for him to rest in his own quarters, as long as there was someone there to keep an eye on him.
Elizabeth turned to look at Rodney as they slowly walked and she could see that he was suffering. She could also see that he felt himself to be a burden to them. He couldn't even look at them. She felt her heart break when she realised that once again he felt like a burden in her life and Carson's. She hated that he could think that of himself. She also hated to see him in so much pain. When he had collapsed on to his knees in agony it was as if her whole world fell apart.
"I'm really sorry Carson." Rodney told him apologetically as he glanced at Emilie who was walking at Carson's side holding his medication.
"Rodney you have no need to apologise. Things like this happen and I'm your Doctor and friend. You needed my help and I wanted to help you." Carson reassured him.
"But you and Emilie..." Rodney whispered motioning to the young woman who turned to Rodney and smiled sympathetically.
"Rodney she's a nurse. She understands. Besides I have a feeling we're going to have many more opportunities to get to know each other better." Carson explained to his friend.
"Oh really?" Rodney teased raising his eyebrows. "You really like this girl don't you?" He asked quietly.
"Aye. I really do." Carson told Rodney smiling proudly. "Here we are." Carson then stated as they reached Rodney's door.
Rodney opened the door as best as he could and let Elizabeth and Carson lead him over to his bed. They helped him sit down on it gently.
"It's okay lass, I can stay with him if you want to go and get some sleep." Carson told Elizabeth when he noticed how tired she looked.
"It's fine." Elizabeth reassured him. "I'll stay. Besides I'm reasonably sure I interrupted something you'd like to get back to." Elizabeth teased; noticing that Emilie was wearing one of Beckett's shirts.
When Rodney had collapsed in pain she had run to Carson's quarters to get his help and had a very flustered Carson and Emilie answer the door. As soon as they had heard what had happened they had come, no questions asked and with no anger over being interrupted and for that she was very grateful.
The Doctor blushed and smiled shyly.
"Aye. Only if you're sure. I want you to come and get me if there are any problems but if he rests and keeps taking his medication he should be fine." Carson told her.
Elizabeth nodded.
"Look why don't you both go? You're both tired and you both have other things to do. I'll manage." Rodney said feeling guilty, trying to pull his shoes of and groaning with frustration when it hurt him.
"You just scared me half to death. I'm not leaving you until I'm sure you're going to be able to manage." Elizabeth explained.
"Besides its Doctors orders to have someone stay with you and even if it wasn't one of us would. That's what friends are for." Carson told Rodney patting him on the shoulder.
"Thank you." Rodney said gratefully to them. He looked at the floor. "I guess I'm not used to the whole friend thing." He told them sadly.
"I think you're going to have to get used to it Dr McKay." Emilie replied smiling warmly.
"Aye you are, the lass is right." Carson agreed walking over to Emilie and putting his arm around her. "Well sleep beckons I think. If you need me don't hesitate to come and find me." Carson told Elizabeth.
Elizabeth nodded gratefully.
"Thank you Carson."
The handsome Doctor smiled and nodded.
"Now behave yourself Rodney and get some rest. Don't be giving the lass any trouble." Carson teased.
Rodney pulled a face but then smiled.
"Yeah or I'm sure we could fin some pretty big needles to use in your next physical." Emilie joked.
"And everyone's a comedian." Rodney replied sarcastically but still with a smile on his face. "Thank you." He told them again sincerely.
"Any time. Good night...well good morning now. Make sure you get a few hours sleep. Both of you." Carson told them as he and Emilie walked to the door and then left the quarters making their way back to the bed they had shared earlier on that evening and safe into each other arms.
Rodney sat silently after they left and looked at the floor. Elizabeth looked at him sadly.
"Rodney McKay does it again." He told her quietly. "Sorry for all of this." He said softly.
"You have no reason to apologise. You know you don't need to do things like this to get my attention." She teased but he didn't smile.
"Somehow I always end up messing things up." He told her quietly looking at the floor.
Elizabeth walked over to him and knelt down in front of him. She tilted his chin up with her fingers so that he was looking at her.
"You have messed nothing up. Like Lieutenant Ford says, stuff happens. People hurt themselves Rodney." She told him hoping that he would take what she was saying into his heart and stop beating himself up over it all.
"By lying awkwardly?" He asked her raising his eyebrows.
She couldn't help but smile at his expression.
"Sometimes yes." She replied warmly ruffling his hair.
"Sorry you got stuck here." He then told her sighing.
"I didn't get stuck here. I've chosen to be here. Like Carson said this is what friends do. You have friends Rodney."
"I don't know why." He replied sadly. "No matter how hard I try I just seem to make more work for you all."
"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." She commented taking one of his hands in her own. "You have saved our asses countless times Rodney. You have been my rock during these hard few months where I've been trying to find my feet. You've made us smile when times were hard. You're an integral part of Atlantis and a well-respected person and a kind person when you want to be. Even if you are sometimes hard work it doesn't mean we like you any less. Look at Carson. He hardly ever shuts up but we like him. You have friends because you're a great guy to be around no matter what you believe and no matter how hard you try to push us away we'll keep believing that." Elizabeth reassured him and he nodded quietly.
"Could you pass me my t-shirt?" He then asked her. "It's just over there on top of that pile of boxes."
Elizabeth looked around the quarters and noticed how there were still many boxes of items that had yet to be sorted out. `Typical Scientist' she thought to herself as she spotted his t-shirt and walked over to the pile of boxes to pick it up `He probably spends more time in his lab than his own quarters'
When she turned around to face him again she could see him struggling to pull his sweatshirt over his head. She couldn't help but giggle.
"What are you trying to do?" She asked him laughing.
He stopped what he was doing and looked at her grumpily, his face just visible as he had his shirt half way over his head.
"I'm hot. I'm trying to get this off and it hurts." He explained sighing.
Elizabeth walked over to him.
"Let me help you." She told him softly standing in front of him.
"I can do it." He told her grumpily trying to pull the sweatshirt over his head and failing miserably.
"Rodney come on." She told him handing him the t-shirt she had picked up for him.
She could hear him sigh even though the sweatshirt currently covered his face. She smiled.
"Was that a yes I can help you?" She asked him.
The sweatshirt moved up and down which she took as the answer yes to her question.
Elizabeth took hold of the bottom of the sweatshirt and gently started to pull it over his head, being careful all the time not to hurt him. When she started to see bare skin she realised that he had nothing else on underneath and couldn't help but think how well built and muscular he was underneath his uniform.
As Elizabeth gently pulled the sweatshirt over his chest her fingertips brushed his skin and she could feel his body shudder under her touch. It was as if an electric shock passed through them both. He was so sensitive to her touch. For a moment she just stood there amazed that her fingers brushing his skin could cause his body to react like that.
He pulled the sweatshirt down a bit and she could see that he was blushing. She could also see the fear in his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He apologised shyly. "I uh...I...sorry." He apologised again uncomfortably, inwardly cursing himself that Elizabeth had now seen first hand what effect she had on him and hoping that he hadn't crossed the line.
"It's okay." She reassured him, her heart beating so fast. No one had ever reacted to her touch like that before. Not even Simon and to see the effect she'd had on Rodney took her breath away.
Elizabeth took hold of the sweatshirt again and carefully pulled it over his head. Rodney found himself blushing again when the shirt had finally been taken off as the red vest top she was wearing had ridden up exposing her flat stomach. He swallowed hard before he looked up at her.
"Thank you." He told her, his voice raspy.
Elizabeth smiled softly.
"You want this one on?" She asked him pointing to the t-shirt; her eyes still focused on his chest.
He nodded and put his head through the top of the t-shirt and his arms through the sleeves as Elizabeth started to help him pull it down over his bare chest. It was then that Rodney sneezed and fell backwards onto the bed, taking Elizabeth with him.
For a moment they just lay there, Rodney with his t-shirt covering half of his upper body, and Elizabeth on top of him with her hands on his chest.
"Oh my god are you okay?" Rodney asked her worriedly.
Elizabeth tried to suppress a giggle.
"I'm fine really. Are you okay?" She asked him concerned for his back.
"If my back didn't hurt so much I'd be in heaven." He told her with a small smile.
Elizabeth tried to shuffle from on top of him over to beside him on the bed. Rodney put a hand on the small of her back where there was bare skin to help her and this time it was her turn to shiver as his fingers touched her skin.
They both stopped moving and Elizabeth looked at him and blushed. Rodney thought he'd never seen a more adorable sight in his life as she buried her head in the covers at his side.
He put a hand on the back of her head and ran his fingers through her hair.
"At least now we're both embarrassed." He commented quietly watching as she propped her head up with her arm and studied him. "What?" He asked her frowning. "Are you angry?"
She shook her head and moved so she was leaning over him.
"Elizabeth?" He whispered confused.
Elizabeth leant in and kissed him, her body brushing against his as the kiss deepened. Her heart was pounding and so was his and when his hand rested on her cheek tenderly she could feel the electricity flowing between them.
Reluctantly Elizabeth pulled away and studied his expression, which was a mixture of want and confusion.
"You kissed me..." He commented.
"Yes Rodney. I do know that I kissed you." She replied cheekily, a little amused at his reaction.
"But why?" He asked her frowning, wondering how she could kiss him like that if she needed more time to think about where her heart belonged.
"Because I made my choice." She told him quietly, watching his expression carefully.
"Elizabeth a few hours ago you were telling me that you needed more time. I don't want you to rush into any decisions. I'm not that good a catch." He told her softly. "I might only end up hurting you..." He added slowly pushing himself up from the position that he was laying in and moving to the top of his bed, sitting up and leaning against the wall.
Elizabeth moved to his side and stroked his cheek with her fingers. She then traced a line over his stomach with her fingertips. Once again his body shuddered under her touch.
"Why must you do that?" He asked her, a hint of a smile on his face.
She smiled in response.
"Earlier on when you were in so much pain I was so scared. When I sat in the infirmary waiting to hear how you were I was petrified. Rodney I hate it when you're in pain. I hate it when you're hurting whether its physical or emotional and I think I'd hate it even more if I wasn't the one with you when you're upset or hurt...whenever you need someone. I want to be that person."
"I don't want you to be that person out of duty."
"It wouldn't be out of duty." She reassured him touching her face. "Rodney I didn't come here expecting to find someone that I wanted to be with. I didn't plan it and in a lot of ways it'd probably be easier if it hadn't happened so believe me being with you out of duty would be the last thing on my mind. But it has happened and I do care and I do want to be with you. I can't change it and I don't want to. How can I not be with the person that my heart desires?" She asked him.
"Elizabeth I don't want you to regret this. I don't want you to end up resenting me because you feel like you've betrayed Simon. I wouldn't be able to live with myself." He told her looking at his hands that were resting in his lap.
Elizabeth sat cross-legged at his side and looked at him thoughtfully. She could see that he was so worried she'd only end up disliking him for choosing him over Simon. She could see he was worried that he wasn't good enough for her and would only disappoint her.
"Rodney I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I wasn't with you. If what had happened with your back had been something more serious and I'd have lost you...there is no way I would have wanted you to go without us having given whatever this is between us a chance. I could never resent you" She then reassured him running her fingers up and down his arm comfortingly.
"I don't want to hurt you. I don`t want to disappoint you." He told her softly, unable to bear the thought that one day he might say or do something to push away the one person he cared about more than he had anyone else in his life.
"The first thing you said to me when we ended up like this..." She started, thinking of the heap they had previously been in on the bed " ...Was am I okay. When we were stuck on that dream Atlantis you were constantly checking to see if I was all right. Today was so hard but it was because of you that I got through it like I did. You knew what I needed when I needed it. You'd never hurt me intentionally Rodney. I know that. I also know that you're not perfect and that you have your faults and insecurities. But who doesn't? I want to be with you, sarcasm and all." She told him softly.
"You're too good for me Elizabeth." He told her sadly. "I'm not someone that you want to be with. Trust me."
Elizabeth sighed; tears threatening to fall as she realised his fear were causing him to push her away.
"Rodney when I touched you earlier...both times..."
He blushed.
"No one has ever reacted to my touch like that. Not even Simon. When I touched you I could feel how much you wanted me. I could see what I made you feel. With Simon it was so different. He was a good man but it didn`t feel like that when...but with you...Rodney you make me feel special. You make me feel wanted. You make me feel needed. You just make me feel. When I touched you and I saw that...when I felt that...I felt what I meant to you and I just knew that..." She tried to explain tearfully. "And when you touched me..."
Rodney put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He played with her hair as he wondered what he had done to deserve such a wonderful woman in his life.
"When you touched me it was like electricity running through my body. It was like every inch of my skin was so sensitive and just screaming out for your touch again. I haven't felt like that before Elizabeth. I mean sure I've been attracted to women before but only with you have I felt like that. Like I'm at my most vulnerable. Like your touch could make every hair on my body stand up in anticipation and your smile could make my heart burst. What I feel for you is way more than physical." He told her kissing her forehead.
"What I feel for you is too. When you touched me I felt my whole body shiver because I wanted you and whenever you hold me I feel safe. I feel more for you than I ever thought possible." She replied. "There are so many things about you Rodney."
He smiled.
"It's nice to know that someone appreciates my charms." He teased. "Look I can't guarantee that I won't be a pain in the ass. I can't guarantee that there won't be any times when my more annoying character traits do decide to make themselves known and I can't guarantee that I won't get hurt on a mission or here. You know how clumsy I am. But I can guarantee that I'll try my best to be the man that you deserve."
"You already are." Elizabeth replied honestly. "I want to be with you Rodney. You have to believe me that I won't hurt you. You have to believe me when I say that I care about you. Every part of you and I want to be with you."
"I know." Rodney replied as he kissed her forehead again.
Elizabeth yawned tiredly and nestled her head against his chest.
"You're exhausted." He commented as he noticed for the first time that her eyes were half closed.
Elizabeth nodded and then yawned again.
"Sorry." She remarked, smiling sheepishly and leaning her head back against the wall tiredly.
Rodney carefully got up off the bed and found Elizabeth a t-shirt that she could put on. He walked over to the bed and handed it to her.
"You can stay if you want. I promise I won't try anything. I don't think my body can take any more excitement today." He told her grinning.
Elizabeth nodded.
As Rodney changed into some pyjama bottoms, grumbling when his back started to hurt him again, Elizabeth changed into the t-shirt. She could smell his scent on it and she breathed it in deeply. She then got off the bed and pulled the blankets down ready for them to get in.
"You're really going to stay?" He asked her a little shocked.
"After everything we've just said do you really think I'm going to go back to my quarters and leave you?" She asked him quietly.
Rodney smiled and made his way over to the bed. He carefully climbed in one side while she climbed in the other and they pulled the covers up around them.
For a moment they lay there a little unsurely, Rodney shuffling about until he was comfortable. He then turned to face her and she moved closer to him and rested her head on his chest, breathing in his scent and closing her eyes tiredly. Rodney wrapped his arm around her the best that he could with his back still sore and traced invisible patterns on the back of her neck with his fingertips.
Elizabeth smiled and opened her eyes tiredly as he touched her skin. She leant in to him and kissed him, cupping his cheek with her palm as she did so.
Rodney stroked her cheek and smiled at her affectionately. He had no idea what he had done to deserve her but he thanked god that he had been blessed enough to have such a loving, beautiful and intelligent woman in his life.
"Get some sleep okay?" He told her softly kissing her eyelids when they closed again.
Elizabeth nodded gently and not long afterwards she was asleep in his arms.
Rodney watched her as she slept, not wanting to close his eyes for a second in case he woke up and once again everything was a dream. Eventually though sleep claimed him and when he awoke later that morning with the woman he loved still in his arms, her eyes shining as she watched him sleep, he realised that for the first time in his life he truly felt at home.
In previous relationships he had pushed his partner away with his sarcasm and his sometimes loud mouth but with Elizabeth that was something he never wanted to do. It was something he knew that she'd never let him do because she had the ability to see into him and see the more sensitive side of himself that he kept hidden away inside for fear of getting hurt. He had grown so much because of her and he wanted to continue to grow. He wanted what his counterpart had and knowing that gave him the determination to make this relationship last and gave him the determination to try once and for all to let go of all his past demons and embrace the new chapter of his life that was now beginning. Holding her in his arms felt like the most natural thing in the world and he realised that he didn't know what he'd do if he lost such a meaningful person in his life.
It really had been a strange day for the inhabitants of Atlantis. One filled with confusion, shock and a lot of revealing truths but for many it had been a catalyst in showing them how they should embrace life and follow their dreams and desires because after all, who knows what lies just around the corner.
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