"I think you have become my best friend on Atlantis." John Sheppard spoke the words quickly less his resolve falter. He was nearly breathless, but he'd rolled this declaration of friendship over and over in his mind, and he felt he needed to say it before she left with the other Athosians. "I think we have so much to offer each other. I think we can learn from each other."
She regarded him silently, dark brown eyes meeting intense blue. "I am your best friend?"
"Yes," John responded quickly, grateful to make some kind of connection if only to hold back her final decision to go to the mainland with her people. He tried to look hopeful, succeeding in garnering a faint smile from her. "Our two cultures have just begun to communicate, to connect on a level that makes us stronger in unison than separate. Together, we are stronger, in other words."
She walked towards one of the many Atlantean windows staring out.
He waited. He who speaks first takes home the loss, he thought to himself in the lengthening silence that stretched between them. He didn't want the Athosians to leave; dammit, he didn't want Teyla Emmagen to leave. He didn't have to lie to himself. Sheppard had come to treasure the time they spent together, and he didn't want to lose that. He had come from Earth, alone and lonely. He was attractive; the ladies loved him. But he was alone, unconnected, until he'd first looked into the depths of her soul, written for all who could read it in that dark beautiful gaze of hers. Her exotic skin, long hair, dark gaze that could cut right through you - he would have given her anything given half a chance.
Teyla had offered to drink tea with them, a stout morning brew that would begin their friendship and start a good bargain. Sheppard had heard the words, and he would've drank battery acid with her if only to look at her a little longer. At first, he'd thought it pure, unadulterated lust. But as he worked with her and came to know her quiet, strong spirit better, her hushed amusement at the strangeness of humanity and her wonder at all things Atlantean, he realized that their friendship had blossomed and that its continuation was vitally important to him.
Teyla Emmagen just couldn't leave Atlantis. That was it. He would do whatever it took to keep her there.
"What are you thinking about?" He closed the distance that separated them standing behind her but at a safe distance for his emotions. Sheppard had consciously tried to maintain a suitable, personal space difference lest he slip up and do something he'd regret. What if she didn't have feelings for him.
"I am becoming your best friend." She said simply, quietly and at first he thought she was teasing him, but after a pause she continued and he realized that she was serious. "That is something to consider."
"I meant it." He pressed.
"I mean it. And it is something to consider." She looked over her shoulder at him, those dark, brown eyes catching his for just a moment, and then she returned to her vigil outside of Atlantis.
"Will you consider staying?" he ventured into the void.
"I will consider having tea with you." She replied after a lengthy pause.
Her answer confused him, but he accepted it having no other. "When?"
"Tomorrow morning at first light. I need time to prepare."
"In the mess hall?"
"No, on the deck of my quarters."
Sheppard smiled in spite of himself. What kind of tea party was this going to be?
"Please, tonight, write down a few things that our friendship means to you and bring it with you tomorrow."
Sheppard's smile gave way to a look of confusion. "Uh--"
"Being best friends means a great deal in my culture. Sharing tea in this way also is significant."
"I don't understand."
"I, too, have come to feel that we share a bond."
Sheppard's bewilderment was complete. He had always felt a slight tug between them: some called it chemistry, some would say it felt like magic at work, and still others would refer to it lust as on their part, but whatever it was, it was definitely there.
"I'm not sure we're on the same page with this whole best friend thing." It was Teyla's turn to look puzzled.
"It's not marriage." Sheppard stumbled on quickly.
"What is `marriage'?" Teyla asked.
"Uh, when a man and woman come together for life, swearing to love no other, have children and grandchildren, buy a house with a white picket fence, a shaggy, lopsided medium size dog and go to the mall on the weekends."
Teyla laughed. "Of course not, Major. I don't think we're getting marriaged"
It was Sheppard's turn to laugh. "Married."
"Where would you get that idea from?"
"Well, you're awfully somber about this whole tea/best friend thing."
"Perhaps, it would help if I explained a little?"
"Yes, that would be appreciated."
"Sharing tea between best friends is an honor, but it is also a cherished moment. Through tea, recognition is given that every encounter is a singular occasion which can, and will, never recur again exactly. The declaration of "best friends" is a one time thing. It can not happen the same way again ever."
"Okay." Sheppard scratched his ear. He was still confused but at least they weren't getting married before he'd had time to court her properly, scrounge up some kind of ring and perhaps ask her to become engaged. That was provided all this went anywhere.
"Thus every aspect of tea must be savored for what it gives the participants, the moment to share what it means to be best friends, in a moment which will pass between them but once. Understand?"
"Yeah, sort of." He felt like an idiot. Something about this whole tea drinking thing struck him as more than just consuming fluids. And he wasn't a buffoon, but somehow he was missing something in the telling. "Well, go on."
"There is a special place, usually a garden or someplace outdoors. We must step through a doorway which symbolizes the door between the abrasive physical world and the spiritual world where what we exchange in friendship is once and just between us. "
"I think I started a whole thing with this best friend thing, didn't I?"
Teyla smiled. "No, you only crystallized what I have thought and felt for a while. But in order for it to be right with the universe, we must drink tea together."
"Okay, and you want me to write down something that signifies why we're best friends."
"Exactly. Tomorrow we will watch the sun rise, and we will talk to each other, share our thoughts on what makes this bond of friendship so strong so as to surpass any other, and we will drink tea together. This will only happen this way once, Major. You are aware of that."
"You mean we can't do it again, say the day after tomorrow?"
"We can do it then, but it will not occur in the exact same way. It will not be the same because the universe will have shifted, and we will have inexorably changed because of what we have experienced."
"Okay then. I think there's a race on Earth that practices this type of ceremony, although I think the reasons are different." It also reminded him of when, as a boy, he'd cut his finger and pressed it against his best friend, Marty's slit finger and swore to be best friends forever. Sheppard hadn't thought about Marty Shantz in years, and wondered for a moment what had become of him.
"I will take my leave of you then, Major, to prepare for the shonis."
"Shonis? "
"Sharing of the tea and the experience."
"Okay." Teyla went around him, brushing his arm as she passed causing him to shiver involuntarily. He looked out the window slightly uneasy and not sure why. Nervousness is just a sign that you're entering uncharted territory, John, he mentally chided himself. Relax.
Shonis. Somehow he had a feeling that there was more to this than slurping down some hot water. Now what the heck was he going to write about?
Chapter Two Preparation
Teyla carefully measured the sacred tea leaves for each participant. She wasn't sure about whether John understood what this meant. He'd look quite perplexed when they'd parted last evening. She, however, wanted to bring as much of the ritual and mystery to the ceremony as possible, in a way another introduction to her culture for the humans, and to show her unending respect for the honor he had bestowed upon her, for what they bestowed upon each other. It wasn't often someone declared themselves beyond just simple friends to the level of "Best Friends". It was a distinct acknowledgement, and she wanted to transmit that meaning to him.
She had placed the sacred scrolls at a 40% angle propped up on the sinise board for easy access. It was in case they needed to reference a quote or something of historical importance in her telling of the ways of life before them. She placed the obsidian bowl in the center and adjusted, then readjusted it. It was important that the bowl be placed at just the correct way in order to scoop out the hot water to add to the cups.
Her mother's cups and saucers - she starred at them with pride. Her mother had taught her the sacred ways and Charon had finished the teaching. God, how she wished Charon was here right now to check her preparations, but that just wasn't possible. It was her Shonis and she had to prepare it alone.
She chopped and placed the raw vegetables, cooked the flavored rice and placed them in the appropriate bowls. Then Teyla surveyed the doorway, climbed up on a chair and placed the chaynis at exactly 4 feet 11 inches from the floor. It would force the tall Major to bow and pay respect to the Gods who blessed the Shonis. She fussed with it for a few moments, then smiled, satisfied.
The rug needed to be placed right at the interior terminator onto the balcony so that shoes could be removed and the soles of the feet could touch and merge with the ground beneath. Normally this was performed in a garden, but since Atlantis sat in the middle of an endless ocean, the deck connected to her quarters would have to suffice.
With the physical preparation just about done, Teyla turned her thoughts inward. What do you wish to accomplish from sharing this tea? She asked herself and was rewarded with a flood of answers and even more questions.
She began to write, noting places where she'd need to put in historical references to past heroes. Feelings for Major Sheppard - John - flowed unbidden. She had wondered at how easily he moved between races of people, from planet to planet, always at ease in the most difficult of circumstances. His easy manner and half smirk, half grin had caught her unawares on many an occasion. She loved to hear him laugh, hearty and full of life. He was tall, lean, attractive, but what bound her to him had little to do with his physical attributes. She found his friendship and felt his attachment whenever they were in a room together. And when he looked at her, she couldn't help but catch her breath. There was a love there, she thought - hoped - held in check for a reason she could not fathom. There was joy, and a connection. Often she found herself finishing a thought, careful not to verbalize it lest she give away their secret. But they would exchange looks that spoke volumes in the silence, and there would be things they knew each had agreed to long before anything was spoken. Often, she would find herself smiling at his antics with Ford, McKay or even herself, and the warmth she felt from him made her want to be around him.
They shared many things, and he had, in a short period of time taught her of his home world.
I cherish, she wrote, the time we spend with each other. You are a hero to some, a military man to many, but to me you are simply John, confidant, friend, protector. We have saved each other and in that salvation, we have found a bridge between our two cultures. You listen, you share and most of all, you look at me with those eyes that have at once seen too much, know too much and yet still want to learn more about the simplest of things that my world has to offer. When Colonel Sumner balked at my presence, nearly laughed in my face, you came to share tea. Your sincerity has made you my friend; your willingness to share has taken that to the level of best friend.
Teyla stopped a moment. Was this all that needed to be said in the opening after the first sip of tea.
Yes, she thought to herself. Then we need to add the historical references dealing with "best friends" down into history. That will be the second sip. We need the historical perspective in order to put this whole ceremony and meaning into context.
She stopped looking around. It was already 2am. Would she have this treatise finished in time. They were only going to share this experience once; she didn't want to forget anything.
Teyla pulled one of the scrolls out, her gaze falling on Majis and Winek, two best friends from seventeen generations past. Majis had wound up sacrificing his physical being so that Winek could return home to his family and later save his neighbors. It was a tragic story made all the more poignant because it was true. Majis and Winek were two merchants who had traveled together plying their wares in villages and shops. They couldn't be closer than clan and were not related. However, they were brothers in spirit and bound in every way by their ceremony of tea too many years prior to count.
When a Wraith dart had landed on Athos, most had fled. A single Wraith and disembarked and gave chase to the fleeing villagers. It is said that Winek, a full stock of a man, had fallen and broken his ankle, that Majis, spry, lithe and quick, being a true best friend had concealed him in linis weeds, which seemed to mask the Athosian scent from the Wraith. Then Majis had run and drawn the charging Wraith away from where Winek was hiding. Winek had tried to talk Majis out of it, but he would hear none of it. He felt his was faster than the Wraith and could outrun him whereas Winek - big and lumbering - would have no such luck. He was so very wrong.
In the end, Majis had died the agonizing, age-killer way that Wraith inflict upon their victims, sucking the life out of him amisdst his rapidly aging body as he screamed and screamed until there was nothing human left to the cry. Majis had finally died, sucked dry by the Wraith creature who let Majis now ancient and crumbling body fell to the ground.
It is said that Winek was never right after that; that he had experienced the death as much as Majis through that bond. He was possessed of all the pain and terror, but there was no end, no death to take away the consciousness of what had happened. Winek went back to his family, and spent the rest of his life starring out a cottage window.
On an intellectual level, it is said, that Winek recognized that everything happens for a purpose and that it was Majis' purpose to save his life. But the pain of the Wraith inflicted death that had strewn through the bond they shared had made it all but impossible for him to function.
Only when the Wraith came again, was it revealed why Winek had survived and Majis had died in order for him to live. Winek saved his whole village by taking out five Wraith creatures before they could get to the villagers. The Wraith had come by night, skulking into the village unnoticed. The sentry had fallen asleep. After all, it had been ten years since the last Wraith had come through the Gate of The Ancestors to attack and kill villagers including Majis. They had gotten slack, complacent.
Winek sat at the window like he had done every night since that horrific day, starring out into the void, saying nothing. When he saw the Wraith, he was galvanized into action, his sheer size and strength making him a good match for the coming bringers of death. In the process, he had woken the community, and when he finally died, it is said that he smiled in spite of the painful, shriveling drain that a Wraith put on him.
Teyla added this story to the second sip. It was about the friendship, the bond shared and the importance of taking refuge in the realms of caldis - the jewels of wisdom - patience, compassion, the altruistic mind, the good heart, self-sacrifice, love.
Her heart skipped a beat on that last caldi, love. Whenever she gazed at Major Sheppard, thoughts and feelings of love rose within her. But he might not feel the same way. He might think something totally different. She had only recently admitted to herself that she'd fallen head over heels in love with the man when she had first met him. The feeling was there, the catching of breath, the desire - no, the craving - to feel his lips press hers. Teyla had wanted to kiss him for so long and had spent an equal amount of time hiding that fact from him and the rest of Atlantis. At the mere mention of the word in conjunction with the image of him, her dreams returned. Those pleasant moments her mind insisted on regurgitating in agonizing detail every time her eyes closed. She wanted him to kiss her; she wanted to kiss him. But this ceremony wasn't about that. It was about friendship - best friends.
But just once, just once.
Back to the scrolls, Teyla chided herself. Everything needed to be perfect.
---
John looked intently at the paper in front of him. At the top in bold print was "Why Teyla Is My Best Friend."
Listed with numbers next to it were five short sentences.
1. I like to hang out with her; we're buddies 2. She saved my life. 3. She likes football. 4. I like her smile and her pretty dark eyes. 5. I trust her.
It was 2:30 a.m and this was the extent of his writing and rewriting. He ran his fingers through his perpetually tussled, just-gotten-out-of-bed-hair for the fifth time. It had been a simple request, but he wasn't the flowery type. His feelings were far in excess of his words, but he just didn't know how to get that down on paper.
Well, you'd better try and write more than this, Shep, he said to himself. It sounds like 'I like to hang out with her; we're buddies.' isn't going to make it.
She makes me feel whole. He quickly wrote that down.
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere." he stated to an empty room.
Chapter 3 Implementation
John arrived just before sunrise and knocked quietly on Teyla's door. He hoped she heard him, because he didn't want to be pounding on her door like a desperate man in a hurricane waking up everyone for three to four quarters around. He tapped lightly again, and the door opened inward. Sheppard wasn't sure what he expected; perhaps, the same Teyla dressed in cover-up-everything native garb, but she appeared to be wearing something less for the hunt, more for sacred prayers and chants.
What had he gotten himself into?
She smiled shyly and bid him enter. Her caramel colored skin and reddish hair complimented her outfit, a flowing brown and gold colored outfit that was muted yet somehow sparkled. "It was my grandmothers. It was in the chest that we recovered from my homeworld after the Wraith had left. I was glad they didn't destroy it. There were many mementos in it."
"Others weren't so lucky, I know." John replied. He remembered their surreptitious trip back to Athos after what they felt was a suitable amount of time had transpired. Teyla's village was in ruin, but while the Wraith appeared to want to make examples out of those few who had escaped their clutches, they didn't seem to hold any interest in the personal articles that the fleeing villagers left behind. They'd set things ablaze, but if something didn't make it into the fire, they didn't seem to care. They simply left it where it lay; in her case, the chest had been in a root cellar, and was still intact when they came back.
"Sit a moment, Major." She gestured towards a hassock at the far end of her quarters. "Do you prefer to sit on the ground or to prop yourself on pillows when we go outside.
John thought for a moment. He could either lounge like an ancient Roman or sit on the ground like a true military man. "I guess I could take a pillow or two."
"You must remove your footwear." Teyla continued scooping up a few of her larger pillows and handing them to him.
"Okay." He started removing his sneakers. "You sure this is necessary?"
"It is part of the ceremony."
"You sure we're not getting married?"
Teyla laughed. "No, Major, I can assure, we are not getting married."
He finished removing his shoes, stuffed the shoelaces down into them and looked at Teyla expectantly. "Now, what?"
"I have prepared everything on the deck. Take a moment and reflect on what is to come." She sat on the edge of her sofa and closed her eyes. After a moment, he followed suit.
Her lips always looked soft, kissable and she had a body to die for. Sheppard opened one eye, saw that Teyla's eyes were still shut and closed his again. Your laughter is like music; your anger like acid in my heart. On the rare occasions when I have annoyed you, I have been quick to apologize to bring out that sunny smile again. I wish I knew how to tell you how I felt, that I want us to get closer and that I'm willing to take it as slow or as fast as you want. I just want to kiss you once; are your lips as soft as they look, as luscious and kissable? Is your body as lovely as it appears, muscular to a point because you've trained hard all your life, yet at the same time feminine, womanly in its softness. The way your breasts seem so -
"Major?" Sheppard jumped, jarred back to reality by her voice.
He felt the heat of embarrassment on his face, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Sheppard smiled sheepishly. "I kind of got into that reflection thing."
Teyla looked bemused but said nothing about it. "I do not want us to miss the sunrise."
He rose to his feet, wiggling his toes. "No, of course not."
She got up and touched his arm lightly leading him to the doorway. "Here we pass from the coarse physical world into the spiritual world where we will share intimacies and secrets between best friends only." Her grandmother had taught her the words when she was very young; all the ceremonies that were dashed to hell when the Wraith culled their world. It made her all the more cognizant of their importance, of why she had held on to them in spite all that her people had been through. As a leader, it was her duty to hold fast to the traditions even though all she wanted to do was have Sheppard hold her, kiss her and make her feel safe - something she hadn't felt in such a long time.
In pushing away childhood and taking on the mantle of leadership, Teyla stood alone, often forced to make decisions that in her heart of hearts she knew were good for the many, but fatal to a few. Teyla had, of late, felt uneasy. Her battles with the Wraith left her drained and anxious. And when suspicion that she was a Wraith collaborator had been at its worst, she had felt so very alone. Even her own people were divided.
And now they wished to go to the mainland where they could make their own way. She felt that tug quite strongly. She had, however, become part of a larger mission and in stepping outside of her comfort zone, she no longer fit the mold of Athosian leader. She was that and so much more. The only person she felt that she could confide in anymore sat a few feet away from her. Traditions and ceremonies be damned; all she wanted him to do was hold her, kiss her and tell her that the world wasn't about to end in a fiery Wraith attack - that they would live into old age together, have children and grandchildren who would sit around a lazy fire and listen to stories of Athos and Earth under the cool night sky.
But she wasn't even sure if the man cared for her beyond friendship and military camaraderie. Sheppard had certainly defended her to the entire Atlantis team; he was passionate in his argument that it was just not possible that Teyla could be a traitor. Sheppard didn't seem to even realize how vehement his statements had become; he was just sure that it was not her. Period.
While others didn't share his in his security, his resolve or apparent clarity of vision, it made Teyla mindful that his staunch defense came from a depth he didn't talk about. In that contemplation, Teyla found a hope that he might hold feelings for her beyond mere friendship. She had been wrong and hurt before; another suitor came after her only to possess the power she wielded. It had ended badly and left her damaged....grieving.
Holling had been her confidant and was still. But they had never shared anything except comradeship and a common goal of keeping the people alive. With Sheppard, she felt something more, and if her own passions were any barometer, they would make a fiery, ardent match. Mostly, she just wanted him to kiss her one time. Many women in the Atlantis team felt the same; she'd heard their speculations. But to date, he had made advances and overtures to no one. Perhaps, he too, was a wounded bird, lonely and alone in a galaxy a million miles from a home that held nothing for him.
She pushed these musings into the background as they took up positions on her deck ready to greet the sunrise. At least, she thought, they were best friends. And maybe that was enough.
Chapter Four Sunrise
John had arrived about 30 minutes before sunrise being unable to feign sleeping any longer. He had his rather short list tucked in his pocket and being relieved of his shoes, led, like a lamb to slaughter, towards the deck, and seated in front of this rather intimidating, black bowl of tea and two cups, scrolls and covered dishes, he settled into one of the two appointed seating positions. This hadn't started off all that well; he had hit his head on the scroll-thingy located too low in the doorway, backed up once, grazed it a second time and finally managed to duck under it on his third attempt. Should've done the limbo, he thought as he sat down and adjusted his two pillows.
Teyla sat across from him. The table was small, only large enough to hold the dishes. Probably for intimacy, he thought. Intimacy, the word held so many pleasurable connotations and as he sat with the very attractive Athosian leader, many permutations of that word sprang to mind unbidden.
"We start the Shonis, ceremony of the tea, to signify friendship beyond normal bounds. We have declared to each other that we are best friends. We will now clarify the meanings behind our words." She spooned hot water into each cup. He discovered that there were leaves at the bottom of the black receptacles that floated to the top in the boiling water.
She handed him a wet, hot washcloth, retrieved from beneath the table and began to wash her hands. He followed suit and returned it to her when done.
"Shonis is a time that will come once between us. What we say here, stays here. What happens between us as best friends, stays between us as best friends."
Sheppard liked that last part. "So anything I do here, stays on this deck?"
Teyla just stared at him, until he looked away for the sun. "I was just asking."
"Yes," she replied finally with a slight sigh. Okay, he would be serious and he put on his best serious face for the moment, aware that he really wanted to lighten this up. It was her custom, but she was taking this so gravely that he was getting more nervous by the minute. And when he got nervous, he made jokes. He was also apprehensive because he had next to nothing written down to say, and looking at the piles of scrolls and the large, thick journal Teyla possessed, she had put a great deal of effort into this meeting.
"You sure we're not getting married? Nevermind." He sighed.
He'd better think of something quick. Sheppard took a sip from his tea cup, carefully placing it in the same approximate position as Teyla had done. Frowning, he rearranged the cup slightly. Still apparently dissatisfied, he adjusted it for a third time. On his fourth try, Teyla touched him lightly on the top of his hand. He jumped and looked up at her.
"It is fine, Major. You may start talking now." Reluctantly, Sheppard pulled his paper out of his pocket and looked at it. It was tiny. He put it back in his pocket.
"You make me whole," Sheppard began speaking extemporaneously. It was his best line; it was true, but everything else sounded silly after the story she'd told. He looked at her, falling into her deep, brown gaze, wanting so badly to kiss her. She was waiting expectantly. But he had no more words, only his feelings that went beyond mere ramblings about friendship and stories about others. His feelings were immediate, intimate - not sexual, although it could easily go in that direction. He was a man, after all, and she was a beautiful woman.
"We are best friends, because without you, I am only half of what I should be." John elaborated. Teyla smiled. Okay, you're on a roll, John. "We are like starships on a similar mission. We are headed towards, towards -" he stopped. Towards what, you idiot? The local Pegasus Pizza Place?
"...Towards, Space, The Final Frontier. Together we'll explore strange new worlds through the ring of the Ancients, seek out new life and new civilizations to help in our war with the Wraith, to boldly go where no couple has gone before. Through our unity and friendship and being best friends, we shall seek and receive those which are nebulous and not prime numbers. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. As best friends, we don't suffer from this."
Teyla was silent for a few moments, a look of complete confusion on her face. Then she smiled as if his words took on proper meaning, which in a way, made him a bit contrite. Sheppard had no idea what he'd just said.
"What are starships? She asked.
"Vessels." Sheppard held back the urge to laugh. What he had just said was ludicrous, and he was about to give up the charade when Teyla took a sip of tea, replacing the cup halfway around, and continued her talk about friendship.
"As you have said, we are creatures of independent thought, starships on a similar mission, but with two leaders, collaborating yet separate." She started to recite another story, and Sheppard's mind wandered. The sun was rising, and it was beautiful. Teyla was gorgeous in the morning light. Hell, Teyla was stunning at midnight or mid-afternoon. The time of day had little to do with his appreciation of her attributes. And she was intelligent, witty, sweet and tough. She regularly whipped his ass at that stick exercise, and if it was anyone else, he would've been insulted. The fact that he fought as hard as he could only to end up on the floor, did little to incite his male ego and pride. It was just Teyla, plain and simple. She was strong physically and mentally. She had been a leader alone, for so long, and in the past few months, he'd come to know her vulnerabilities. And all he wanted to do now was kiss her. Just once.
Teyla looked at him expectantly again. Sheppard took a sip from the teacup and placed it down carefully. He ran his hands through his dark tresses further messing them up. He then started his adjusting game, stopping after the third alteration and smiling up at her a bit sheepishly. "I know, it's close enough." He wondered if she knew he was stalling for time.
"We are people carried away by life because we are "Best Friends". We walk away and we come together in unity and harmony. I came to you from a galaxy, far, far away outrunning Imperial Death Stars, Wookies, Stormtroopers and Wraith Hive ships. It is wisdom that people who never get carried away should be, that being best friends, we carry each other." He paused for a moment, peeking in her direction, taking a breath. Teyla's brow was furrowed in concentration.
"I love deadlines," he continued, "I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by me and my best friend. When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress, and I don't have that problem because my best friend and I wear pants! One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool. Fortunately, I haven't seen any goats or mules in the Pegasus Galaxy and we have faced all the fools together. And love is grand; divorce and breaking the bonds of friendship a hundred grand. Love is bliss, and I love you and want to shower you with kisses as my best friend - "
John stopped, suddenly blanching. What had he just said? The hush stretched like a taut, coiled snake unfurling between them. After all his talking, the silence seemed loud in its absence of noise.
"Major?" Teyla began.
"Yes." He replied, trying to look casually in her direction.
"Were you done?" She hadn't understood, registered or reacted to that last line. There was hope.
"I can keep going."
"I don't understand."
"I wish for my best friend that just before the Wraith go into warp, I could beam the whole kit and caboodles of tribbles into their engine room, where they'd be no tribble at all."
"Tribbles?"
"Small, furry bundles of love that purr."
Silence.
The sun was very low on the horizon, rising slowly and he needed to change the subject. "The sunrise is beautiful."
Sheppard leaned back on the pillows admiring the view, his mind racing. He was searching his memory for more Star Trek quotes. He was a man of action, kinesthetic, a hands-on kind of guy. All this talk was killing him.
Teyla was waiting. She looked like she wanted to take another sip of tea. "A great man from my galaxy once said: "Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom." Sheppard stopped talking looking in her direction, hopeful.
Teyla still hadn't said anything. This was going downhill fast. You are circling the bowl, Sheppard. "Listen, I am inspired. Teyla, may I ask you a question, well, two questions?"
"Yes?"
"Will you call me John instead of Major?"
Teyla's lips quirked into a slight smirk. "Yes, John. But only when we are alone, because I think it undermines your authority with the team if we are familiar on missions."
"Okay." It was a logical argument. "May I ask you something personal?"
She looked at him with those dark eyes and he wanted to loose himself in them. "Yes, Maj--, John."
"May I kiss you, just once, as one of these sips of tea?"
Teyla blinked and simply stared at him, dumbfounded. Smooth move, Sheppard. Eased right into that one with a sledgehammer. "It was just a thought." He added lamely.
"Yes." Teyla replied softly, looking away towards the horizon. "I would like that."
Sheppard thought he'd misheard her. "I know it's not canon; we should be reciting words, but I'm a -" Teyla stopped him with a touch, light and electrifying on his arm.
"Kiss me, John." She smiled slightly, "before I lose my mind completely."
"What?" It was his turned to be dumbfounded.
"It is all that I have thought about since you arrived. We share a bond, and you seem to broadcast your feelings across that bond quite easily. I don't know how it's happening actually. But you are driving me crazy."
Sheppard grinned. "I am?"
"Yes." Teyla smiled back at him. "And I don't know what you're talking about. What is a Death Star?"
Sheppard rose and leaned over the tiny table that separated them, pressing his lips gently against hers, then with more passion, avoiding the question. He probed with his tongue, then he got up on his knees. He knew he looked ridiculous, but he was tall enough to go completely over the tiny table that separated them, like a human table. Teyla seemed ready to back away, but he didn't want to relinquish the moment, and he followed her, gently yet determinedly continuing the kiss. When he finally stopped, she appeared flushed, out of breath.
"You do that well."
Sheppard took a quick sip of tea replacing the cup quickly and looked at her wickedly. "Can we do that again?" Teyla adjusted the cup to the correct direction.
"It is my turn to sip from the tea and share the experience." Sheppard looked crestfallen, instantly a little boy who couldn't play anymore, and he so wanted to play. He wanted to pour out all his feelings in kisses and touches and hugs and small intimacies reserved just for her. He wanted her to feel how much he cared about her, how many times she dominated his dreams and daydreams - how damned much she meant to him. He instead sat back down and waited. He hoped his patience would hold through another of those "best friend" stories.
Teyla very carefully took a sip from her teacup placing it of the way around from where she'd started. She looked at her journal, wondering where she'd find the words to express what she was feeling.
She stared into his intense blue eyes as he waited for her to begin.
"John?"
"Yes," he replied, half smiling, half serious.
"Will you do that again?" She was rewarded with a very large grin.
He carefully moved the table that separated them and kissed her again, placing the journal aside and taking her into a full embrace. Teyla's response was warm, sensual and passionate. She had held her feelings in check for a long time, and now, once freed she blended into him with a quiet intensity that took his breath away. He gently rubbed first her back, then her breasts - one then the other. Teyla was aroused as much by being touched as by touching, her hands roving freely over him, much the way a blind person maps the shape and countenance of a person by utilizing touch and caress.
Sheppard responded in kind, and theirs was a gentle, adoring intimacy that increased in fervency rising steadily towards ecstasy as the sun climbed in the sky, silent witness to their coupling.
Chapter Five Stay
"Will you stay on Atlantis?" It was the original question he'd asked her in the practice fighting room. She was leaning against him, eyes closed. They're breathing was synchronized and he thought she might have fallen asleep.
"Yes, I will stay."
Sheppard smiled wanting to jump for joy, but mindful that he would need to toss her aside to do so. "May I kiss you again?" There was a long pause, and he thought she hadn't heard him and had truly fallen asleep this time.
However, she responded after a pause, "Yes, John. You may kiss me as many times as you like."