Love Hurts
Love Hurts
by Bianca Ziller
TITLE: Love Hurts
AUTHOR: Bianca Ziller
EMAIL:Scullybz@aol.com
STATUS: complete
CATEGORY: SJR
SPOILERS: The Entity, Windows of Opportunities, Divide and Conquer, In the Line of Duty
SEASON/ SEQUEL INFO: 4thseason, THE ENTITY
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: none
SUMMARY: Missing "Scene" of ENTITY, Jack's thoughts before/after he shoots Sam twice with a zat gun.
DISCLAIMER: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
There she stands right in front of me wearing nothing more than her pajamas. Her arms put up the way priests do in church. Flashes of lightening make a connection of her and...well whatever. I watch this whole scenario with horror. Just what exactly is happening?! Why is IT, this damned thing that took control over Sam,doing this anyway?
I told it to leave her otherwise we would destroy its homeworld. Well, maybe that wasn't such a great idea.
The others have arrived. I can't turn to look at them. I'm much too horrified but I guess they stare just like I do at what's happening in front of us. Teal'c is next to me. I believe the alien is attempting to return to the mainframe'
Oh shit, he's right. I've got to stop it. I put up the zat gun and fire and... nothing happens.What the hell?!These zat guns bring even me to my knees... She lifts her head and her blue eyes look at me. They are so cold, so resolute, so wonderful. She's looking straight into my eyes... oh boy.
,It's not really her' I tell myself. It's only the alien. But she's still within there... somewhere. She's looking at me, too. But her looks are not as cold as the ones of the entity. She's afraid. I know it. I almost feel it.
It's not the first time this is happening. It's not the first time she has to share her body with aliens. It's not the first time I look at one of my best friends and see an enemy. Oh God, please help me. Don't make me shoot again... please.
The world has come to a hold. Seconds seem like hours. I feel the anxious looks of the others. Everybody saw me shoot her once, everybody knows that the next shot will kill her. Everybody knows that it's my decision, that I'm the one who's supposed to kill her... that it's my JOB to kill her. And everybody knows how I feel about her. Even General Hammond does. Well not officially of course. And actually there isn't even something inofficially. But anyway he told me...'I know Major Carter means a great deal to ya...' Yeah with that he's right. And wrong. So damn wrong. He thinks he knows what it feels like. But he doesn't. He knows nothing. Nobody knows what it means to love somebody you're not allowed to love. Nobody knows what it means to love somebody who works with you. Somebody you're not even allowed to look at because your glances could betray you.
We may have to make some difficult choices' General Hammond had said. This is not a difficult choice. A difficult choice would be whether or not and more important how to escape from a gould ship... This is about killing HER. There IS no choice. Why does this damn alien NOT stop?
Suddenly I'm aware that I'm standing and staring like an idiot. How long have I been thinking? I gotta do something. Before it's too late.Now. I close my eyes, take one deep breath, the last one I'll ever take if I really kill her. I look up and our eyes meet once again. I force myself to keep my head up. If there was anything else I could do.Anything. But there's nothing. I have to, no other way, no chance. Forgive me, Samantha... I realize my hand is lifting. No... I'm aiming.No... Stopping. No. No. No. FIRE. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.
>>Love hurts.
Love stars.
Love wounds and more.
Any hopes not though,
strong enough.
Take a lot of pain,
take a lot of pain.
Love is like a cloud of it who is a lot of rain.
Love hurts.
Love hurts.
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