Discoveries and Announcements
Discoveries and Announcements
by Anneka OCarter
Summary: Sometimes, the truth can hurt
Category: Romance
Episode Related: 405 Divide and Conquer
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/15/03
Discoveries and Announcements by Anneka O'Carter Author Notes: I'm writing this sequel for all you amazing people who read my work and emailed me....you were full of compliments and it's official; you guys rock! (I'm not sucking up too much am I?) This took me ages to write (sorry if it's rubbish) because I didn't want to let you down!
Anyway, this is dedicated to everyone who emailed me....thanks you guys, I love ya all!
*
She ran back to her car, her heart pounding and her head swimming with the words that Sara had said to her mere minutes ago. She collapsed onto her seat and held her head in her hands.
It was just too much. She liked having a little crush on her CO...it was perfectly harmless. But now...now, it was deeper than she ever thought possible.
She had fallen for him and hard. There was no way she could go back to work the next day and pretend nothing had happened.
She couldn't even think about seeing him at the party and she was already thinking of excuses ("I'm so sorry Colonel. It must be a 24 hour bug") when a hand tapped on her window.
Oh crap.
She wound down the window and tried to suppress the urgent need to sob her heart out when she saw his slightly anxious face. "Hello Sir." She smiled brightly, hoping that he wouldn't notice her over exuberance.
"Uh, Carter?" His voice was worryingly low...he knew something was up. "What's wrong?"
A lump in her throat started to form as she saw the concern he had for her and she wondered whether she was going to be able to form a coherent sentence. "Nothing sir." She made a point of creasing her forehead "I'm fine."
He really did not look convinced. Not at all. Life just couldn't be better(!)
"Mm." He muttered under his breath "Look...." He leant on the fully retracted window "do you wanna come back to my place?"
Before that would have elicited all kinds of innuendo-laden responses but now she just wanted to cry. "Ummm..." She replied, unsure of what he was asking.
"Just for a coffee. I haven't talked to you for ages."
OK, she knew he was lying. The "gang" had been out for a beer the night before and they'd talked. Not talked but they'd exchanged three words...I mean, that's conversation, right?
"Sure." OK, that got out when she wasn't even aware of what she was saying. But it was sure as hell worth it when she saw the cute little smile on his face as she replied.
"Sweet." He stood up straight "You follow me back." She just nodded to him as he walked towards his car further down. She gripped the steering wheel and tried to stop the tears flowing.
This was bad.
Very bad.
*
She was following his truck done the relatively quiet roads of Colorado Springs and she was seriously considering "losing" Jack in the non-existent traffic, but she refrained because she was directly behind him and she was pretty sure he'd see her speeding down the side road like a mad woman.
And she still knew where he lived.
There was no excuse.
Damn.
Maybe feigning a sudden illness was a good idea.
*
"Looking forward to the party?" He asked her as he handed her a cup of coffee and she smiled faintly.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Carter replied slightly too quietly for his liking and he knew something was still up with her. He was making it his mission to find out what.
"I suppose...although I do think I'm getting a little too old to be partying till 2:00 in the morning like the Doc has suggested...she really is some party animal isn't she?"
He grinned at her as he sat down but she merely smiled slightly and stared aimlessly into her cup. "So...what were you doing at the mall?" He asked, trying hard to stimulate some conversation.
"Um, just some shopping." She didn't even look up from the coffee. "Clothes and the like."
"Right. Me too actually. I figured it was time; the only shirt I had left developed a hole." He mused and then another silence over took them. He decided to speak up....not because he had to but because he wanted too. "Carter, are you sure you're alright?"
Thankfully she finally looked up from her coffee and straight into his eyes with those baby blues of hers and it took his breath away. She always looked gorgeous...but today, today there was something different about her.
"I..." She faltered "I'm pretty sure that what I'm about to say will ruin both our careers simultaneously.
OK, I'm lost. Which isn't an unusual situation when Carter's involved.
"I'm in love with you."
*
And as soon as the words are out of my mouth I want the earth to open up and swallow me whole.
That was so not what I meant to say. More along the lines of "I have to go home now. See you sometime never."
It's official now though.
I have no brain. The "base brain" had left the building.
I'm lost in self pity as I see him get up from the sofa and walk towards the French windows, looking out over his blooming garden, full of lush greens and for a second I succumb to the pleasure of just watching him.
With his classic school boy position; drooped head and hands firmly in his pockets.
But my remaining thoughts bring me back to reality and I wonder why I've been such a fool.
Such a self possessed idiot.
He wants me.
On the team that is.
And now I'll have to be demoted.
I've split up the best team I've ever worked with.
What an idiot.
*
This is...
Shocking?
Amazing?
Ego boosting?
A thousands superlatives come to mind and all fail to describe how I feel about this situation.
I don't know why I walked away as she sent herself into a trance like state.
I needed to get away from her, or I'd seriously consider jumping her right there on the couch.
I needed to gather my thoughts for a few seconds, realise that this wasn't some fantasy that I'd made up in pathetic head.
I turned round to tell her that I love her...that I love her more than anything, but she's nowhere to be seen.
All that remains is the wide open door, a blast of cold air hitting my face and I feel like I want to cry (I can't believe I just admitted that...sometimes I really wonder whether I'm turning into Daniel)
Why did she leave is my only question.
Did she mean it? Did she mean those words?
My only answer is a negative.
She obviously realised what an emotionally inept, wise cracking, damaged man I am and run like hell.
A smart woman would...and we all know how much of a smart woman Carter is.
*
7:00...and he's still not arrived.
I worry that it's my fault.
That my stupid, conceited announcement has ruined what threads of friendship we had left after that bloody Zaytarc testing.
He hasn't even turned up to his own birthday party.
Is that what kind of man I've turned him into?
I can't help wondering if Sara was lying to me all along.
I wouldn't be surprised. She obviously wants him back. She's showing me that I can never have him.
Janet's holding it together thankfully. Keeps excusing the Colonel...blaming the traffic and a hundred other excuses that she can think of.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings and my heart leaps for the twentieth time since the party started.
But this time it's for real. And I can't help look at his figure standing in the doorway.
He doesn't look happy....but does he realise how devastatingly sexy he looks?
How much at this very moment, I'd give up to be with him?
But my precious view is blocked by Janet, greeting him with a happy but still stern smile and she obviously is berating him for his late appearance.
After the full dressing down from the Doc, he scans the room and I duck onto the floor, pretending I lost something (Not the most original excuse....but a worthwhile one nonetheless)
Thankfully he passes by and starts chatting to some Captains and I'm free to scupper off to Janet's garden where a few, very drunk, airman are chatting.
I stare out into the night sky and wonder.
Wonder what it must be like to look out towards those stars with him.
What it must be like to be curled up in his arms as he whispers to me about the places he's been and the people's he's seen.
I wonder how it feels to lay with him on the grass, the soft lush greenery cushioning our bodies, the two of us making love in concert with each other... murmuring declarations of eternal devotion in the midnight blue surroundings.
*
She's standing outside on the deck. I can see her.
But when can't I?
It seems that my eyes are always drawn to her, wherever she may be, I am watching.
Making sure she's safe.
Because even if she doesn't love me...I want her to be happy.
Her blonde hair reflects in the early moonlight and she looks amazing even in the simple outfit that she's wearing.
I can't help but wonder why she said that to me.
Today of all days.
Janet told me that she was quiet. Quiet since she first stepped inside the door of her house.
Didn't speak to anyone, yet still seemed the approachable and genuine Carter that every knew and loved.
I wonder if she knows how much I love her. How much I wish that I could live out the rest of my life with her by my side, every step of the way?
I wonder if she'd ever see beyond my jokes and sarcasm, to accept that I do have love inside this old body of mine...love for her.
My body moves without my brain being aware and suddenly I'm sidling next to her on the veranda and I can tell this is a bad idea.
*
I knew he was approaching me.
I could smell his unique scent miles away.
His heavy breath making all the hairs on my body stand on end.
He does weird things to me without even touching me.
He doesn't say anything as we stand, parallel to each other, looking out over the lights of Colorado Springs.
This moment electrifies me, and I wonder what it does to him.
Does it feel like another wimpy, "talk" session with "one of the guys"?
Does he wish he was anywhere but here?
*
She doesn't want to speak.
And I can understand why.
She's a young, successful, beautiful Air Force Major who can have any man that she wants.
Why the hell would she fall in love with her battered CO?
"I meant what I said." Her whispered words stun me out of my reverie. They were so quiet I wasn't sure if I heard it. "I love you. And I always will."
"I know." My voice seems to be working independently of my brain...because I didn't know that. I really didn't know that "I've loved you since the first moment I met you and I'm never going to stop."
We don't even look at each other as we quietly admit our feelings.
How messed up can two people be?
We just stare out over our assembled friends, laughing and joking without a care in the world.
I'm not sure, but I think I can see her nose scrunching.
As if she's trying to stop herself from crying.
"We'd never make a good couple." She says a little louder. Not loud enough for anyone but me to hear, but still louder than before.
"No." I say calmly, my chest heaving with the pain this is causing me.
Do I have to lie and say that I don't think we'd ever make a good husband and wife?
"We'd make a great one." My brain is definitely working as I realise what I should have done a long time ago.
Retiring isn't a good thing, but it's not necessarily bad, I think as I turn to face Carter and see her gasp at my words.
I can't help but grin as I realise that she's probably thinking exactly the same thing.
*
He's right.
I don't think I could ever admit that this is a bad thing.
That what I want with him could be wrong.
Maybe he is going to be my ex-CO, but who cares?
Life's for living, I think to myself as I turn to face him and I see Jack O'Neill.
The man I love.
The man who saves the world every other week, the man who battles Goa'uld without a thought for his own safety, the man I want to be with forever.
I look into those deep, brown cavernous eyes and I see nothing but love.
Love for me.
*
She's nearing closer, her hands twitching in nervous excitement and I feel a hundred butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
Our lips touch, the almost whispery kisses we endow on each other are the symbol of our previously denied relationship.
Her hands lightly snake up my torso, and round my neck, tapering the hair and my arms wind round her waist, bringing her in closer contact to me.
This should feel weird.
Making out with my 2IC who I've lusted over for the past seven years.
But it doesn't.
It feels like the most natural thing in the world.
The kisses become deeper, our tongues massaging each other's, tickling the insides of our mouths. She tilts her head and I tilt mine, the embrace starting to take on a more sexual slant than a mutual admission of our love.
Reluctantly I break apart from her and her eyelids flitter open into mine, and I instantly know that she thinks I'm having doubts.
*
In thirty seconds, my life's just become complete.
Maybe that sounds "chick-lit" worthy, or way too sappy for someone of my position in the Air Force, but it has.
But I suddenly feel bereft of his light touch pressing against my lips and I look into his eyes with a sense of doubt...is he having second thoughts?
Am I not good enough?
*
I have to speak.
Reassure her that this is what I want.
She's what I want.
*
"Are you sure?" He asks me and my ovaries do a flip.
He doesn't presume does my Jack O'Neill.
*
Her only answer is "More than anything."
And we walk silently through the throngs of people invading the Doc's living room.
I see Daniel chatting to a shamelessly flirting Nurse Shaugnessy when he's clearly checking out Janet and Teal'c seems to be shaking up the dancefloor with an unusual rendition of "Hey Macarena."
*
No-one seems to notice as me and my 2IC disappear up the stairs towards the bedroom.
Everyone's too drunk...and probably in the free bedrooms anyway.
Thankfully Cassie's at a friends.
We grab the first room that's free from collapsed SGC staff and I gently push her against the door in the typical Alpha Male routine.
"Why today?" I ask her hesitantly and she just smiles one of those 100 watt smiles that melts my insides.
*
I know what to say...nothing about the real informant. Who wants to remind their lover of their ex-wife?
"Just a little birdie." I tell him with a wicked grin and then I push him onto the bed.
*
Three Months Later-
It's no surprise to me.
I had to be expecting it.
He was retired out of the Air Force so quickly that the floor probably still bore skid marks.
Probably so they could get married without any problems.
Their little "announcement" was in the Washington Post.
Am I bitter?
Am I resentful of this woman who captured my ex-husband's heart?
How can I be?
He loves her.
She loves him.
And that's all there is to it.
And maybe it's not so bad when you get the invitation to the wedding after they've only been dating three months.
Maybe it's the strength of their relationship.
Not built on having a child together.
But one of them is coming soon.
My little friend at the SGC let me know.
Apparently they're both ecstatic.
Why shouldn't they be?
A child with the person they love.
I wonder if he got down on one knee...I wonder if he told her that she means the world to him...that he loves her more than anything in this world and all the others that they've seen.
I hope he did.
Because she deserves it. And so does he.
And maybe like me, he'll be able to let go of the haunting memory of our dead son and live.
There's a lot to be said for discoveries and announcements.
*
Thanks for reading everyone! Feedback would be great...not sure if you want a sequel, but I just can't let this story go :(
So email me at shirleym_@hotmail.com if you want another like this...or if this wasn't good enough!
Thanks!
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Anneka OCarter
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