Going Under, Drowning in You, Falling Forever
Going Under, Drowning in You, Falling Forever
by Anneka OCarter
Summary: Things can happen, sometimes you just need the courage that alcohol can provide
Category: Drabble, Future Story, Humor, Romance, Thoughts
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam, none
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/04/03
Going Under, Drowning In You, Falling Forever by Anneka O'Carter
Author Notes: I read "Threnody for the Heart" by newromantic and I loved it, except I wished that something major had happened in the S/J relationship so here's my immaturely written take on it. BTW, I recommend newromantic's writing and especially "Threnody for the Heart" so look it up on Helio now! I order you, goddammit, listen!
"You wanna know something?" Sam drawled, the half-empty glass in her hand nearly spilling over onto the carpet.
"What?" Janet replied, already her words are slurring and it's only midnight...they've got a few more hours of steady drinking to do. "I think..." She hiccuped and giggled childishly "I'm drunk." "Well, duh(!)" Janet retorted which made Sam giggle even more. "You have been for the past two hours Sammie." The doctor is currently staring at the ceiling whilst lying on the floor, a red wine bottle close to hand as her friend lolls around on the couch. The living room is in an absolute state with empty bottles and chocolate everywhere; thank God that Cassie was sleeping over at her friends that night.
"Ya wanna know something else?" She asked, and she realises her words are starting to blur too. Sam saw Janet nod out of the corner of her eye so she continues. "I think I'm in love." The thought sobered her a little, but not for long as she took another gulp from her glass. "I don't want to repeat myself...but duh(!)." Janet sat up to face her best friend on the sofa, sensing a "serious" conversation...or as serious as you can get when you've consumed 4 bottles of wine each in the space of three hours. "You know?" Sam seemed surprised, but she always the last to know when it was something to do with her feelings.
"Uh-huh." Janet decided to crawl onto the sofa next to Sam and they faced each other.
"So you're not jealous that I'm in love Daniel?" Sam said without a hint of a smile. "Daniel?" Janet almost screamed and she can't do anything but stare at Sam until a mischievous smile greeted her friend's face. "Gotcha!" Sam cried and that's set off another attack of the giggles. "Of course it's not Daniel...and it's not Teal'c either if you have a thing for him as well as Space Monkey." She added, half reassuring her friend that she's not after her crush, the other half teasing.
Janet just shot Sam a withered look. "So...?" She asked, nodding her head in encouragement. "Are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?" Sam looked slightly confused but then finally gets the hint. "Ohhh, right. Yeah....but I though you'd know." She's knowingly dragging out the torture with a huge ass grin on her face.
" I am absolutely crazy, head over heels in love with Colonel O'Neill." She said, firstly sounding triumphant but the sentence trails off as she remembered why they weren't together.
Janet instinctively hugged her friend, and in doing so, almost dropped her wine. "Y'know, the Colonel's never been a stickler for rules." She stated and Sam wondered what the hell that's supposed to mean. "And???" She urged her friend to continue this seemingly useless line of conversation.
"Well, you're in love with him and it's perfectly obvious he's crazy about you too...why don't you just get it on?"
"Get it on?" One of her eyebrows raised and Janet merely replied "Cassie." "Right...so what you're suggesting is that I just throw away my career that I've worked years to get so I can have a torrid affair? Yeah, that makes sense (!)" Sometimes she wondered it Janet knew her at all...she spent every night thinking about possibilities that would mean she could be with her CO, and that one had crossed her mind more times that she cared to remember. "A torrid affair? Who the hell are you kidding?" OK, Janet angry was not something you wanted to see. "As much as you are loathed to admit it, I know you want 2.4 children, a mortgage and a white picket fence" Sam was about to speak up but Janet, like usual, shouted her down. "And I know you want that with him."
Sam sunk down into the sofa. "God, you're so right. I knew there was a reason I was friends with you." Janet playfully punched her friend on the shoulder. "Seriously Sam, I think you need to hear this. You can't live in fantasy world for the rest of your life OK? Every time you go through the Stargate you are all risking your lives and there's no denying it. And what if the next mission you go on, the Colonel dies...how will you live with yourself? Knowing that you never told him how you felt about him?" Janet sensed that she went too far as she sees Sam's forlorn face, but it turned into a slight smile, approving of the drunk woman's logic. "What about work? The rules? What if he doesn't want me Janet?" Sam's trying to list all the problems but good ol' Doctor Frasier seems to have an answer for all of them.
"Number One; I know you love work but there are more jobs than the SGC. You love kids, so you could teach or you could just be on a Science and Research department...y'know, do a few missions here and there, they are looking for someone, remember. Number Two..." She indicated with her fingers " is therefore obsolete if you change jobs and Number Three; it's obvious to anyone but you two that you both want each other, so you just need to tell him that." Janet looks very self-satisfied which makes Sam smile for her. "I think you thought of everything." She says slightly down-hearted. "And what's wrong with that?"
"I'm not brave enough."
"Come on, this is going to be easy." Janet waved the phone in front of Sam's face and she recoiled in horror.
"No way!" She said categorically "I'm not going to phone him. In case you haven't noticed I'm not 14 anymore."
"I know that!" Janet sighed and took another sip of wine. "You're going to phone him and ask to go round there."
"How am I supposed to get there?" She was just trying to find a way out. "Ever heard of this really wacky invention called a taxi company?" She replied dryly and threw her friend the phone. "Do it!" "Fine, fine, fine." She acquiesced, looking through the phone book for his number. "Y'know you're incredibly ungrateful...I'm giving you the chance for eternal happiness and you treat it like torture." Janet observed and then stopped "You absolutely sure ya wanna do this?"
"Yep." Sam affirmed straight away "I don't think I can live like this anymore." "Your call." Janet muttered and after a few seconds Sam was ringing up her CO. "Hello?" Came the gruff reply after a few rings. "Um, hi...sir. It's me,...sir." She said, wincing at her uncomfortable words. "Carter?" He asked, and she was sure his voice brightened a few notches. "Um, yeah. That's me." She replied and there was a brief silence. "Why exactly are you calling me....at midnight?" He asked "Not that I mind of course." He added and she almost wanted to scream that he was adorable. "I was wondering if I could come round." She turned round to look at Janet was on the edge of her seat.
"Sure...if you really want to. I wasn't asleep anyway." "You weren't?"
"Nah. Insomnia's a bitch." He chuckled and Sam was sure she could hear hockey in the background. "Was there something you wanted to ask me about specifically?" Was he getting suspicious?
"I just wanted some company." She lied blatantly but he seemed to accept it. "I'll be round soon sir."
"OK. See you soon Carter." They hung up and she yearned for a time when they could say goodbye with "I love you" and "I miss you". "You goin' to see him?" Janet questioned hopefully "Pass me the number of the cab firm." She said with a frown.
She knocked on the door and she heard the thump of feet on a wooden floor coming to greet her.
"Hey Carter..." He said as he opened the door and she almost gasped. How could he look so devastatingly attractive so late at night? "How you doin'?" He stepped to the side to let her in and she breathed in deeply as she passed his body, inhaling the scent that was purely Jack O'Neill. "I'm fine sir." She shed her coat onto the chair that was next to the door and followed him into the house. As she stepped into the living room, she saw three beer mugs on the table and she started panicking. "I haven't interrupted anything have I?" She looked at him nervously but he just smiled warmly
"Nah. The boys came round for a while and I sent them off to sleep with a hockey match. They left about an hour ago actually." He informed her and then touched her on the shoulder gently. "I would have invited you but Janet said you had work."
"Mmm." She said as she cast her eye over the one hell of a mess that they had created; it made Janet's living room look positively tidy. "Marvellous, isn't it?" He cleared a space through the chip packets and beer cans so she could sit down. She looked confused so he elaborated "That three grown men can make such a mess?"
"Sometimes I wonder if you're all just kids in disguise." She smiled slightly as he sat down next to her, their knees touching but it didn't really have an effect on him, whereas she almost gasped.
They sat in silence for a few seconds; not feeling the need to talk. "What did you come here for Carter? Not that I don't want you in my house, it's just you sounded like you wanted something." His voice sounded so perfect, so masculine...so him.
And in that second she wondered why the hell she waited so long to tell him about her feelings, these overwhelming feelings. And she built up the courage to say what she never in a million years think she would say to Jack O'Neill.
"Y'know there is something I want." She almost whispered it, but she was sure he could hear her. "You."
OK, the silence wasn't good now.
Really wasn't helping.
This was such a bad....
She couldn't finish her thoughts as she felt him edge closer and closer to her and she turned his head to look into those chocolate brown, cavernous eyes and all she saw was love. Love for her.
They were millimetres away from each other, his breath tickling her lips. "I want you too." He said softly and they paused as she replied instinctively against his cheek "You've got me."
She could see him smile, and ever so delicately she pressed her lips against his. They stayed still, not making their kiss anymore passionate, leaving Sam to rise from the sofa and take his hand and kiss the palm and pull him up and towards the bedroom.
They walked in silence but held eye contact, which was more erotic than she ever thought possible. As the approached the threshold of the door, he held back and turned her round to face him.
"Are you sure?" He asked huskily.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She said as she touched his cheek sensitively, brushing her fingers over his face. He smiled again, this time knowing that they were finally going to have what they always wanted and she smiled back before dragging him into the bedroom.
"Hello, Janet Frasier speaking." The quick voice answered the voice and Sam wondered how she could be so fresh after a night of constant drinking. "Guess who?" She replied ambivalently and she was sure she heard Janet gasp. "I...you...I can't...you must..." Janet faltered and eventually settled for "No wonder you sound so cheery."
"I was going to say the same about you." Sam retorted "But then you didn't have the morning I've had." She said saucily and Janet giggled. "So, you did it then?" Janet knew it sounded so childish but she couldn't think of a better way to put it.
"It?" Sam questioned, mirth tingeing her voice. "I was trying to save your modesty, but you fucked him I take it." That soon put a stop to Sam's laughter.
"I did do it with him. And I'm only saying that because I refuse to be so crass." The words sounded like she was offended, but Janet could tell she wasn't; her good mood was going to last a few years. "So...what was it like?" Janet was eager to hear about the man Sam had been fantasising about and mooning over with her since they became friends. "Janet!" Sam admonished.
"You know you want to tell me." Damn, the Doc knew her too well. "OK...well, let's just say, he was amazing. The best by a LONG way." Janet could almost hear her blushing.
"Am I not going to get any more superlatives about his performance?" She asked...she was never going to experience it herself so she might as well get as much description as she could.
"There aren't enough in the dictionary....God, Janet, I fell for him a hundred times over today." Sam gushed and Janet was overwhelmingly happy for her best friend. "What was it like?" She asked "When you woke up I mean?" There was a pause and for a second Janet wondered if that was slightly uncomfortable. "Janet..." She sounded like she was going to cry "He told me that he loved me."
"Oh. My. God." Janet was doing a victory wiggle and squealed down the phone. "You have to describe it to my detail by detail." She sighed but Janet knew Sam wanted to divulge every little thing that he said. "Well, when I woke up he was watching me sleep. And he just smiled at me and I felt his hand round my waist...It was like he was protecting me. So I said "Morning" and he said "Morning" too"
"And?" God, this woman was keeping her in suspense. "He leant over and kissed my forehead. And then he asked me if I had any regrets..."
"And you said...?"
"'None'. And then he said "Good. Because I wanted to tell you that I love you." God, Janet I was so..."
"Shocked?" She offered
"Just a bit (!)"
"But you overcame your shock and said...?" She pressed on "'Good. Because I love you too.'"
"Oh." Janet was sure her heart skipped a beat. "You two are so cute." She knew that Sam was going to feel indignant about being called a cute couple, but there was absolutely no denying it.
"We are not cute."
"Yes, you are." She affirmed. "Very cute. After all this time, you finally realise he's loved you since forever."
"Don't tell me...another Cassie-ism?"
"Yep. Oooh, when you going to tell her? And the others?" She asked, suddenly getting excited about the fact that she knew something that the others didn't...for once.
"Well, Jack's going to retire apparently." She sounded a little sad at that. "Really?" Janet was genuinely surprised. The airforce and working in the field was everything to the Colonel...apart from Sam, of course. "You must be pretty good too, if he's willing to give everything up after one night." Sam laughed. "Thanks...I think. He said that he felt it was time to retire and I'm considering that job in Science and Research. At least I'll get more time to spend with him." She paused and then added "Raising a family." "Kids?" Janet nearly screamed down the phone and Sam felt her huge ass grin rise even more. Janet knew that Sam had been saving that little gem. "Your kids are gonna be little devils."
"Yep." Sam never thought she was one for children, but she did love Mark's kids so much. And it was only natural that she would want her own. "So...let's count up what you and the Colonel have done this morning." Janet sounded like a cheesy game-show host "You've had sex, declared your love for each other, decided he's going to retire, planned the next 30 years of your life and agreed to have kids."
"Yep" She replied nonchalantly "That's about it." "So, where's he now?" She asked, wondering if he was listening to the conversation.
"Having a shower." She said "I'm gonna have to go now actually." She said, trying to stop a giggle, and Janet was sure she heard a man's voice in the background. "Gonna join him?" She asked instantaneously "You read my mind."
I want to write a sequel about their home life and being a really sweet couple (I like fluff, OK? Sue me!)
If you think I should email me at shirleym_@hotmail.com
I wouldn't mind reviews either, but only constructive criticism or just plain adoration OK?
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Anneka OCarter
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