Bye Bye My Angel
Bye Bye My Angel
by Anneka OCarter
Summary: "I had to stand there and tell her she wasn't important enough to save"
Category: Angst
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: G
Warnings: minor character death
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 08/23/03
Title: Bye Bye My Angel
Summary: "I had to stand there and tell her that she wasn't important enough to save"
Author Notes: Stand-alone AU story. Implied S/J but nothing major. Feedback equals happy fanfic writer!
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The finest day I ever had was when there was no tomorrow, Kurt Cobain
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They stood in silence next to each other, their bodies nearly touching. His breath was heavy and ragged and she knew that he was having a hard time keeping his emotions in control. The picture in front of them was a stark reminder of what he'd lost; but what he'd tried so hard to keep. Her smile was infectious; you just had to smile when you saw her. Her unbridled enthusiasm made her who she was; yet she was never to live out her dream. Of continuing her father's work. But she'd hoped, dreamed, prayed. She wasn't sure whether she heard him speak; it could have been a figment of her imagination, so she kept quiet. But she heard his voice again. Soft, grief-ridden but it was definitely his voice. "I loved her so much." He repeated with an almost anger at himself. He couldn't save her; no-one could. "I know." She replied. Her voice was stronger, louder but still tainted with the sound of strangled cries. "We all did. So did she."
He just murmured a reply to that; maybe he didn't think that she understood. But she did. In an obscure way, she always understood what he had to do. Why he couldn't retire. "I thought I could make up for all those years." He said again, still staring to her photo surrounded by white liliesher favourite since she was a child. "Y'know, someway that I could show her that I really did care for her. Despite what she felt about me."
"I can't say anything at all about what she felt. But she knew that you loved her. She knew." She repeated, hoping her words would be some kind of comfort to him. She couldn't tell as the silence took over them again, the faint whispers of voices far away held her concentration until she heard his again. "When I told her, she said she knew she was going to be OK. That she was going to survive. She said "I'm going to have whatever Jacob had"." He said with a wistful voice, remembering her willingness to do anything.
"She adored him." She tried to stop the tears; the ones that she knew were going to fall as soon as she got to the sanctuary of her home.
"Yeah. I couldn't tell her that there was no way." His body tensed as he recalled the last weeks of her life. "When she was told it was terminal, God, I actually asked." "What?" She said, her voice not getting beyond a high whisper. But he knew that she was surprised. Everyone would be when they found out the lengths to which he went for her. "Yeah. God help me I told her I'd try. That I could get the President to OK it and she'd be alright." He bit his lip to stop himself crying. "When I told her that there was no way, she had this look. And I wish I never have to see that look ever again. It was like she knew, she knew that I couldn't help her, that I was useless." "It's not your fault..." She started to console. "No, it isn't." He affirmed. "But I had to stand there and tell her she wasn't important enough to save. That some bureaucratic pen pusher didn't think that she was significant enough to live " His voice was whispery and uncertain and she had no idea what to do. He was standing there, at his daughter's grave and she had no idea what to do or say. Instead of thinking, she merely did and she took his hand and squeezed tightly. And he squeezed back.
"Thanks Sam." He turned and pressed his lips to hers and they relaxed in each other's embrace. It wasn't a romantic kiss, but an action that showed the love they felt. The love that Sam had for his daughter. "That's OK." She brought her arm round his waist and lent her head on his shoulder. His hand caressed her hip and they looked onto Emma's smiling face.
Maybe she wasn't there, but she was always in their hearts.
*
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the soft uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled light
I am the soft stars that shine at night Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
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Like? No like? Think I can't write and I should give up and remain in the realms of fanfic obscurity forever? Just email me!
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