Next Month
Next Month
by Anneka OCarter
Summary: Jack's life isn't destructive to just him.
Category: Alternate Universe, Angst
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 10/04/03
Title: Next Month
Author: Anneka O'Carter
Summary: Jack's life isn't destructive to just him...
Author Notes: This is quite dark for me, and I wanted to say that it was inspired by Nanda's story Tether for some reason. Please read the notes at the bottom.
I think this would be a good series, but hopefully the next won't be so depressing. I would love feedback.
*
My mother dies when I am ten. I have lived with my father since that time, yet I never see him. He will talk to me sporadically and I will pretend that my life is fine.
But it isn't.
Everyday is the same pattern, the same arrangement. Routine, routine, routine. That is one thing I have learnt from an Air Force home. Variety, as it turns out, is not the spice of life.
And so I crawl up to my bed at night, slip inside my covers that I washed the day before and cry myself to sleep. The moon is my only companion and I wonder if he is looking at it like me.
Maybe we are closer than I thought...but I remind myself that he is 28 levels under the ground.
I clutch my picture of them as I fall fitfully into slumber. His face smiles out to me, the only way I can see him every day.
Some weeks, I will not even get a phone call, and I wonder if he is dead. Sometimes I think I would be happier. Besides, I am practically an orphan anyway.
On those seldom days when I see my father, I pull down my sleeves to shield him from the red thin scars that marr my pale wrists.
Instead, I pull my arms round him and tell him that I miss him. He kisses my hair and I swear that I can hear him smelling me. My heart swells that he misses me too.
And I feel another pair of arms encircle my body, and I relax further. Her blonde hair sweeps over mine. I have a mother again, my heart tells me. My mind isn't so sure; she will disappear like him soon, and maybe she will never come back.
And yet again, the temptation has waned; the one that urges me to throw it all away. This month, my father will not find me hanging from my bedroom door.
Next month is a different story.
*
"If eyes are the windows to the soul, what do you see in mine? I see a fool wasting her time, trying to pretend everything is fine, still treating them so nice so kind, I look closer and see the reflection is mine."
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem....if you feel the need to express feelings, talk to someone, talk to me, talk to anyone. Just don't throw your life away.
*
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Anneka OCarter
Heliopolis Main Archive
A Stargate: SG-1 Fanfiction Site
Next Month
by Anneka OCarterSite Navigation
Support Heliopolis