Never Say Never
Never Say Never
by Ali
TITLE: Never Say Never
AUTHOR: Ali
EMAIL: Ali_the_Animal@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Angst, Romance, Sam/Jack
SPOILERS: 100 days,
SEASON / SEQUEL: 3rd story in a three-parter sequel.
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS:
SUMMARY: A whole lot of grief for Sam and Jack.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
The Stargate began to whirr.
"Sir, It's SG-1." A young Lieutenant said.
"Open the iris son." The General commanded. Whatever he had expected to come through the gate, the reality was completely different to. No witty comment from Colonel O'Neill. No Daniel rolling his eyes, no eyebrow raised from Teal'c and no smile on the face of Major Carter. The gate room itself had the regular armed troops ready. He was standing in the Control room when his best team came home, minus one member.
As soon as the wormhole opened, Daniel came running through gasping for breath, blood dripping off his hands. He was yelling blue murder. The ramp clattered under his heavy footsteps. Teal'c followed carrying a sobbing Major in his strong arms. Physically, the Jaffa looked unhurt; but his burden's clothes were wet with blood, her hair full of dirt.
As soon as they came through Hammond yelled at the Lieutenant.
"Get Dr. Fraiser and her team up here how!" He ran down to the gate room. The sight that greeted his eyes, was one never forgotten.
"Where is Colonel O'Neill?"
"He's... he's gone. Those Sons of bitches got him." Daniel shouted, his eyes wildly thrashing from soldier to soldier.
"Close the iris." Hammond ordered.
"No. No! He's coming. He said he'd come." Sam was shaking uncontrollably. "Let me go!" She thumped Teal'c. Although the blow had little effect on him, he placed Sam carefully on the ground. When he did let her go she promptly collapsed, whispering "He said he'd come." Janet rushed into the room with beds and equipment. Sam tried to push them all away, and with great effort she stood. "Sir. You have to send SG teams trough to get him. He's probably fallen near the gate and can't get up or something. Sir, permission to return to PX3..."
She couldn't go any further and Teal'c gently lowered her onto a bed after he had caught her. Carter closed her eyes, her face contorted in pain. The General shook his head. He didn't want to but no one was coming back through the Stargate.
"Shut it down." Sam's eyes flew open. She tried to get up off the bed. As the wormhole disengaged the soldiers in the room were stunned into silence as Major Carter shouted, in one long breath; all she had left, in a back shivering, hair raising voice,
"Jack!"
Teal'c and Daniel sat in a debriefing for the mission. They sat in silence. Sam was in surgery still so she couldn't join them.
"Now tell me what happened." Hammond asked them, finding himself dreading the answer. Daniel closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, but he didn't speak. So Teal'c began.
"When we gated on the planet, there was no sign of danger. It was situated on a hill in the wide open. Major Carter and Daniel Jackson were examining what appeared to be some sort of table. Colonel O'Neill and myself were watching the boundaries. After seeing a group of people approaching us, O'Neill decided we would travel to met them."
"Go on."
"As were neared the natives, it became apparent that there was 20 men, each holding a very powerful weapon. I believe they were similar to the American Machine gun."
"Each man was holding a machine gun, in their hands?" The General was amazed.
"Yes, they had extensive body strength."
"What happened next?"
"Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter tried to convince the natives we would not hurt them. They explained that we were Tau'ri, and explorers from earth. The natives would not trust the situation because I was there, accompanying the Tau'ri. They told us of sacrificing us to their God, Haskahak. It was true they could have overpowered us, from their strength in body and machinery. They would let us free if Major Carter agreed to marry a man named Zarius. Colonel O'Neill would not allow such an arrangement. He signalled to us to run, taking cover and covering each other in the run back to the Stargate. We had the element of surprise, and this helped for enough seconds to pass to find sufficient cover. They began firing at us soon after. I managed to take down three men using my staff weapon." He paused, and Daniel took over. His voice was raspy and distant.
"I was in front of Sam and Jack. Teal'c took care of the real threats. Sam ran just before it was safe, taking a couple of bullets in her side. It would have been many more if it hadn't been for..." He broke off, trying to control his emotions as he pictured what had happened. "Jack ran after her. They dived to the ground as he flew into her at full speed. He, uh, he took loads of bullets in his back." He shook his head. Daniel could still here the dull sound of metal meeting flesh. "We all knew that though right? We all knew that Jack would die for Sam. It was a commonly known fact. He would have sold his soul to Satan to keep her safe." He laughed bitterly. The realisation of what had happened sinking further into his brain.
"You actually saw the Colonel die?" The General asked. Daniel replied in a cold, hard accusing voice.
"No. But that wasn't the point. He would have given anything just to see her smile. Don't you see? The Airforce may call that unprofessional, but I saw the raw emotion, humans call love. He tried so hard to control it, I saw him struggling sometimes not to tell her. Have you ever done that? It must be the worst torture in the world. Being in love with someone, but not being able to tell them, or touch them in the way lovers do. I would give anything to let him come back here, just for one minute so he could tell her." Abruptly Daniel got up and walked into the darkest corner of the room. The General sighed. It could have been done he thought bitterly. Teal'c continued the mission report.
"O'Neill managed to get up with the Major..." Daniel closed his eyes again, and he was back on the planet watching the most sorrowful moment of his life.
"Oh God Jack." Sam fingered his wounds. She could feel the tattered clothing soaking up with blood. Jack winced. He felt numb, but he had to make sure she would be okay.
"We have to get out of here." He grunted. Shots rang in the air. Faintly he could hear Teal'c staff weapon. Teal'c... Teal'c would keep her safe. Sam's own fatigues were beginning to wet he noticed grimly. She helped him up and pushing the pain away, they managed to stumble through the woodland area. He bit his tongue so much it bled so she wouldn't know how much it hurt. As they neared the Jaffa, Sam could see Daniel on the other side of the dirt path. Good, he was all right. Teal'c narrowed the distance between them when he saw their state and Jack ordered him to get Sam to the gate as quickly as possible. Teal'c scooped Carter up as she was growing faint with blood loss, but still she grabbed onto Jacks collar with a cast iron grip.
"You're coming."
"I can't Sam." He shook his head.
"You damn well will." She tried to be authoritative.
"Hey, I'm the one that gives orders around here." Suddenly he took in a breath and dropped his gun. His baseball cap had fallen off along time ago and the shades were lost.
"O'Neill, we must leave now." Teal'c shouted over the noise. A wind had picked up, blowing leaves and dirt with it. Jack grasped onto the Jaffa's shoulder for help.
"Make sure you get her back home okay." He whispered. Teal'c understood, the Colonel would not be able to go with them.
"Jack, no." Sam began to cry.
"No more tears Samantha, I hate making you cry." He managed to croak out. Mustering up his fingers to work he ripped off her SGC badge that was sewn neatly on the arm of her fatigues. Jack fell on his knees, unable to support himself any longer. His head spun and he began to see two of Carter. He held onto Sam's hand weakly, but what he wanted to say couldn't come out. His strength was decreasing with every second. Slowly he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly, his own tears dampening her skin. Where his mouth had brushed her skin, blood stained the area. He didn't want them to see him die. He couldn't let himself go while they were still there.
"Go." He groaned and clutched his side in agony.
"I'm not going without you." Sam bit back.
"Go, please." Jack pleaded looking at Teal'c in despair.
"You're coming too." Sam said violently. "Jack, say you'll come."
"Okay, I'll come. I'll be there in a few minutes, just let me take some of these bastards out first. Teal'c..." Teal'c nodded to show O'Neill he got the idea. He bowed his head in respect then turned and ran as fast as he could to the Stargate. Daniel met him there.
Daniel held his arms up onto the wall, leaning on it to stop himself from breaking something. Teal'c filled the General on the rest of the details, but he couldn't say anymore. A lump in his throat made it impossible for any words to come out.
Janet came in a second later, telling them that Sam's condition was improving.
"We've patched her up, but she'll need phisio to get that leg going again properly."
"How long will she need to recover?"
"Mentally or physically?"
"Both."
"Physically, I can give you a rough guide of about 3 months. Her body is in excellent condition in terms of fitness. Mentally, is harder. If the Colonel does not return, she's going to have a lot of grief to sort through." Janet paused, uncertain whether to include the next sentence. "They were very close, General. Using Edora as a guideline, Sam's going to need all of out support." Janet glanced over at Daniel. Her boyfriend looked like a broken man. His best friend was 99% sure to be dead.
"Right. I'll get SG teams 3 and 5 briefed and ready. We'll go and see if the Colonel is still alive. Dismissed." He walked smartly out of the room.
"Is Sam up to visitors yet?" Daniel asked.
"She'll be under for about another hour." Janet stated.
"I will wait." Teal'c stood and walked to the infirmary. Janet took Daniel's hand and silently they walked to his quarters. When they got there, Janet put her arms around him and he told her everything that had happened. By the end, they were both crying.
Jack opened his eyes. What type of hellish dream was that? Then he realised he hadn't been dreaming. It was pitch black in every direction. He felt his back. No pain. The skin was smooth and there wasn't about a hundred bullets lodged in the tissue.
"Okay." He grabbed around for something to hold onto. After a few second of mindless clutching at air, if someone were filming this he would have to destroy the tape, he decided; he caught a hand. "Sam?" It didn't feel like Sam.
"No, my name is Rial." A woman's voice responded.
"Where am I?"
"You are safe here."
"Where's here?"
"This planet is called Tousan."
"Where's Zarius and daddy thuggins then?" He responded. "And why on earth, sorry, why on Tousan can't I see a damned thing?"
"We turned on the Kilabra. It has healed your wounds. You need to rest, Colonel J. O'Neill. Zarius and his father, no longer believe you are alive. You are safe here." She repeated.
"How do you know my name? Actually I have a better question, where are my friends?"
"They travelled through the Big Circle. Your name was on your clothes. That is a strange custom, Colonel J. O'Neill."
"Jack is what people usually call me. Why did you help me?"
"I am one of the women who are in hiding from our husbands. We hope some day to leave this planet, and our jailers, you increased our chances by killing six of them. I thank you Jack." He suddenly realised something. He was naked.
"Where is my uniform?"
"We gave it to our men, and told them you were dead. I have clothes to give you." His hand came into contact with material. He quickly covered himself.
"Did you keep my pack?"
"Yes. Your equipment is very interesting." He sighed in relief; at least he didn't have to wear their clothes for that long. He might not be in pain anymore, but he felt drained of all strength, like someone had injected him with that muscle relaxing serum.
"Why do I feel so weak?"
"The Kilabra heals the skin and reduces pain. However it does not relieve the feeling of your wounds. You will feel sore and weak for many days and weeks." A light was switched on, blinding his eyes for several moments.
"Ah, my head." It throbbed consistently. Then he saw Rial. She was a very beautiful woman. Obviously the female population of Tousan made up in the looks department for the men. Her skin was olive coloured and her hair was long and black. All in all, she looked Spanish. Jack thought he heard a door opening.
"He is awake, Osa." He heard another female voice.
"That is good. Drink this Colonel J. O'Neill. It will ease your headache." Jack sighed. He couldn't be bothered to explain the 'Jack' piece again. The other woman was middle aged, and had a kind but worn face.
"Thanks." He sipped the warm drink. It tasted fowl. Resisting the urge to spit it out, he downed it quickly; gasping for breath at the effort. The drink rushed to the corner of his toes, giving them a tingling feeling. He could hardly move his legs, so he decided getting up was not such a good idea. At least Sam was safe. Daniel and Teal'c were safe. Osa left leaving him alone with Rial. She was young, about 17 he guessed.
"So tell me Jack, who is Sam? Is he one of your friends that travelled here with you?" Jack laughed.
"Well..." He began.
Sam limped down the one of the halls of the SGC. She needed more painkillers. Her left side and leg had ached for some time now, but she had wanted to check that SG-4 hadn't returned with Jack. She always went to the control room when a team was coming home. It gave her something to do with all the time that had been given her. She was off active duty for 2 months, at the end of which she would have a review of her injuries. The first week Janet had allowed her out of the infirmary she had spent at home, lying in bed, just letting the emptiness that filled her body more everyday grow. When she could cry no more a feeling of drained strength over powered her and her bones felt brittle and sore. The second week she came back to the SGC and worked in her lab mechanically, like she was watching herself from above. Sam could put up with the stares people gave her, she could put up with the way the room hushed when she walked in; but she couldn't, couldn't put up with people telling her how sorry they were for her loss. Something inside her had told her he wasn't dead, but in the end her scientific brain had one the battle. No human could survive the wounds he had received. Her heart wrenched. Jack had done it for her. Died for her. She fought back the tears that threatened to overflow once again. It had been 1 month already; time had gone so slowly as if it wanted to increase her pain. And it hurt a lot, like she had lost her heart and the only thing keeping her alive was a dead weight piece of metal that bore into her chest.
At the end of the first week, the Stargate had been activated. It had been opened from the planet where Jack had last been alive. The iris that had closed automatically had been opened again, in case it was Jack, armed soldiers at the ready if it was any natives. No one had come through, but a uniform had. Stained with his blood, it had 19 puncture wounds from bullets on the back. Attached to the uniform was a rock, engraved with the message never to return. General Hammond stopped sending search parties that hadn't found anything anyway. Sam shut her eyes as they bore too much water to hold anymore. Her whole being racked with guilt and loss. Janet had examined the uniform and found something in the breast pocket.
"Sam, look." Janet told her. Sam forced her eyes open. The uniform lay on the table. Hollow and unworthy of the man that had one filled it.
"What is it?" She rasped out. Janet shook her head.
"Do you remember when we had that talk about what the Colonel felt for you ages ago, before Edora?" Silently Sam nodded as she couldn't trust her voice to speak. "I think I can safely say he was in more than lust." Sam leaned over the table. In her hands was a photograph of her and Jack. It was small, but shouted volumes. It was the one she had discovered all that time ago in his home in the book. "It was in the breast pocket." Janet didn't add 'nearest his heart', it was obvious.
"Can I keep it?"
"Of course."
"You know, the week before..." Sam couldn't say 'before he died' so she left a space. "The night after the dance. He took me back to his house."
"I know, Daniel told me." Janet told her softly.
"How does Dan... What did he say happened?"
"You spent the night together."
"I didn't have sex with him Janet." Sam snapped.
"Okay, okay. What did you do then?" They moved to the other end of the infirmary, a more private space. Sam didn't realise she was crying until she felt the salty water on her lips.
"We, I, we... It was very special. He touched me in places I never thought he would. I memorised every inch of his body. Afterwards, we talked for hours about everything. I've never felt so close to someone before in my life." She closed her eyes again and let out a sob. "I miss him so much. Oh God. When he kissed me, it was something I've never felt. It was like he was touching my soul. I don't know how to stop this emptiness from controlling my whole body. Jack was my best friend. I can't think about any one else being in command of SG-1, it just wouldn't be right. He made that team, our team."
"Oh Sam." Janet pulled her into a hug. "It's okay. It'll get better I promise. Soon it'll be better."
Sam shivered as she reached her quarters. She decided not to take any painkillers, but sleep it off. The room was dark and it didn't comfort her. She sat on the bed, wrapping her arms around her waist. Slowly she picked up Jack's shirt she had taken when they had spent the night together. She hadn't washed it, as she didn't want it too loose his smell. Sam wrapped it round her shoulders and began to rock on her heels slowly. She didn't know how much longer she could take this. This wasn't living, this was existing.
Jack ducked behind a bush. The guard of men was still patrolling the Stargate. He hadn't been able to activate it for two months, but he came back everyday to check it. They alternated guards every five hours, day and night. He had seen them throw his old uniform through the wormhole and knew the SGC and Sam, Daniel and Teal'c all had given up hope of his return. He wished he could tell them he was all right, and stop the grief they were going through at loosing a friend. His strength was slowly, painfully slowly, returning. Every now and again he had periods in time when he couldn't move a muscle or fibre in his body. Rial insisted it was an effect of the Kilabra and he wondered if his battered body would ever recover. Checking out his back in a pond reflection, he could see where the bullets had entered. The Kilabra might have healed the wounds, but he still had scarring. His back was still weak but the plan he had thought up to get home was already in action. He prayed like hell that Hammond wouldn't keep the iris shut, but it was a chance he was prepared to take.
He had once told Sam that living without her, gave him withdrawal symptoms. His life truly had no meaning without her. He could still feel her touch, see her smile and smell her perfume like she was there right now. He was addicted and he knew if she hadn't been at the SGC he probably would have given up on trying to go home. Before Sam, earth held little love and he hated it. Before Sam life had been hell. He had to see her soon or he would run mad. His body ached with needing her. Jack sighed. He would never let this happen again. If and when he returned to the SGC, he was going to tell her. God damn the regulations for not letting them go public. He had lost her picture, it was in the uniform, damn it, but her SGC badge he had ripped off her fatigues lay fingered to threads in his hands. He missed her so much. Jack decided he would live the rest of his life in a room full of people shouting scientific blah-blah at him if he could just see her once more.
Jack had never felt so open to anybody in his life. Samantha Carter could literally control his movements if she wished to. These months that were so long and lonely had only passed without his temper flaring up by the fact that she wasn't ever from his thoughts.
Jack saw the new guard trudging up the hill towards the gate. It was time.
Sam ran her fingers through her hair. She fingered the picture that she had taken from Jack's uniform and kissed his face on the flimsy paper. She glanced over at the mirror in her quarters and burst out laughing, but it was a hollow sound. Dark, gloomy circles created her skin under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her eyes were constantly red rimmed and her face was pale. Sam wore the same type of bummy clothes as the past months; sometimes she wore his clothes, sometimes hers. They were getting bigger and bigger every week as Sam's appetite had faded. The best diet in the world; the man you love dies and the weight just falls off. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in" She called. Janet entered the poorly lit room.
"Hey Sam. You look better today."
"I look like hell Janet." She said miserably.
"It's still better than before." She paused, words hanging in the air. She might be about to have her head chopped off.
"How's the leg feeling?" She stalled
"Stiff, but getting better. I'm still going less than 1mph."
"Sam. Daniel and I were talking and we think it's time to let him go. Jack's been gone for over two months, I know it's hard but you'll feel better if you put him behind you."
"No. I can't. How can you say that? I didn't know there was a set morning period these days." 'Yep' Janet thought. 'Head is truly decapitated.'
"It's time to face facts Sam, Jack isn't coming back. You are risking your health like this. Your body needs nutrients Sam, to live. I know what he meant to you but...." Sam didn't let her finish.
"I don't expect you to understand Janet. I loved him. I loved him and I never got the chance to tell him. The last week we spent together was the first time in years I've been that happy. It's just not fair. We should have had the chance to continue what we had. Now I'll never know what it's like to lie in on Sunday mornings with him or cook him diner. There were so many little things that I wanted us to do together. I loved him." She repeated. "And you're sitting there, asking me to forget him. Jack died for me. Do you know what that feels like? It should have been me, but he changed fate and gave his life for me." She shook her head. Janet sighed.
"I'm not asking you to forget him Sam, just stop torturing yourself. It wasn't your fault. Jack knew what he was doing out there. Come outside with me."
"No. Not yet Janet. I'm not ready to put him in a closet yet. Just give me some more time. I'll be okay soon I promise. I'll even make an effort..."
"Okay." Janet kissed Sam on the forehead and retreated to the door. "You know where to find me if you need anything." Sam silently nodded. Her room was so small again. Why couldn't she shake this feeling? It felt like forever since she had seen him, but at the same time it felt like Jack was going to walk in the door any minute, cracking those jokes that were for her. Sam had stopped crying herself to sleep weeks ago, having no more tears left inside her. Her eyes remained sore still, and her brain was foggy and dim; probably all the T.V she hadn't really been watching. Her left side was getting better, like she had told Janet, but barely. It had lost out on vital nutrients in food that Sam hardly ate, simply because she wasn't hungry.
"How can you eat when you're not hungry?" She had shouted at Daniel when he had lost patience with her lack of appetite.
The walls closed in further around her. She wished she could stop the sad, loneliness coming over her again. She wasn't alone. She had Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, General Hammond and Ja..
No. She didn't have Jack.
Jack checked on Rial. She was about 10 metres away and he nearly laughed. Ever since he had been stranded on Tousan, the young girl and looked up at him as the most wonderful person. Anything he asked of her she did, and in return he told her about earth and Sam, Daniel and Teal'c. Of course no military secrets were shared, but Rial was fascinated by every word he spoke and sometimes he managed to go on for hours. Right now she wore some makeshift pants, the women here wore traditional dresses but since they were revolutionising, all of them were open to new suggestions. And one of his T-shirts he had brought with him as a spare in his pack. Today was the day. It was time to go home to Sam. He had figured out a plan, it was very complicated but since the guards patrolled constantly to make sure no visitors came through the gate, it had to be.
Rial was ready and enjoying the game as she thought of it. It was baking hot. 'No change there then.' Thought Jack. The weather had stayed the same for the duration of his stay. 'I mean please, a little variety wouldn't hurt.' He nodded to Rial and she saluted back. This time Jack couldn't suppress a chuckle.
"Sweet." He said under his breath. The Spanish Mona Lisa walked out of her hiding place and walked calmly towards the guards. They had waited until her fiancée or meant to be fiancée, was on guard. He was madly in love with her but the sight of him disgusted her. Jack winced as his back played up again. Pins and needles raged along his side. The men caught sight of Rial he noticed through the tree branches. And who wouldn't have? She was a fine woman if you weren't in love with your 2IC. The tight pants showed off her curves and womanly features. The men were lost instantly.
Daniel stood in the control room talking to General Hammond. It was early Thursday morning, and the SGC was buzzing with people. Missions were scheduled for that afternoon and tomorrow. Teal'c stood as he had done 3 months ago, arms behind his back, silently watching the Stargate. Daniel knew he felt guilty for Jack's death, hell he did. Nothing was the same anymore. Sam was off work today, if you could call what she did work. Officially the Major was on leave until her leg was fully functioning again, but she did manage to get in to the base and work on translations and new artefacts with him.
Jack's unreturn from the planet the real SG-1 had last visited had taken its toll on the rest of his team. In fact the whole base seemed subdued for at least month, everybody was on a low.
Daniel and Teal'c had returned to active duty about a month after they last saw Colonel Jack O'Neill. They were under a new Colonel, just transferred from the Pentagon. He was friendly and nice. He wasn't Daniel's best friend. Teal'c was civil as always and Daniel tried his best, but it wasn't the same. They didn't gel the way they had before. Sam was a worry as she hardly ate and lived off coffee when he got it for her. She was getting thinner and thinner day by day. In the Military you are taught that it's hard when you loose your first team mate, but then it got easier. But what if that team mate is your secret lover? Not being able to grieve openly, to hold back, blocking everything inside, until it erupts. Daniel could see Sam couldn't take very much longer, soon she was going to explode. And he was going to be there for her.
The Stargate suddenly activated. The General jumped and stumbled to the windows of the control room. Daniel followed just as quickly as the General had moved.
"What is it Lieutenant?" Hammond asked.
"Incoming traveller. Sir, its PX4-869." The young soldier flushed with excitement. "That's the PX4-869 that Colonel O'Neill was shot down on." The Stargate continued to whirr noisily.
"General, the iris." It was a question rather than a statement.
Seconds ticked by. Hammond looked up at Daniel's pleading face. They had to know. Had to check. His head held an internal debate. His first concern was to the well being of all his staff on the base. What if it was another 40 men from the planet looking to fight? He had to know though. George Hammond clenched his hands into fists and then grabbed the PA microphone.
"All armed forces and soldiers to the Control room. Now!" He turned back to the Lieutenant. "Open the iris son." Daniel nervously jittered. This was it, the first communication they had had from the planet since Jack's uniform had been sent back. Tension in the control room was possibly at breaking point. Jack O'Neill was a dead man, that was for sure, but every one still had the highest hopes it would be their favourite Colonel. Time slowed down. Teal'c began to pace, something that Daniel had never seen him do. Below them soldiers filled the area around the gate. All guns pointed into the Stargate as the wormhole whooshed open. A pin could be heard dropped as everyone waited silently. Nothing happened for a minute. Hammond let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding.
"No one is coming. I think we should close the gate."
"No!" Daniel shouted instinctively. "General, just a another minute please."
"Okay. 1 more minute. I want Jack to come back too Dr. Jackson, but I believe we are grasping on to straws." He said in a kinder voice.
"Daniel Jackson!" Teal'c grasped onto his friends arm in a steal iron grip. "Look!" He nearly broke the window when he joyously pointed out of it. Two figures walked out of the wormhole. Daniel did not have time for a double take. He ran down to the Gate room, nearly falling over twice. Teal'c followed, steadying him and grinning like mad. Hammond grabbed the Lieutenant in an enmorous bear hug, squeezing the air out of the young man. The soldier, not a bit surprised laughed and patted him on the back.
"Sir. Permission to telephone Major Carter." The General shook him hard.
"Yes! Yes or course. But, don't let on about this; it'll be a nice surprise." He released the Lieutenant and continued down the stairs after Daniel and Teal'c. "And Son?" He added.
"Sir?"
"Spread the word."
"Yes Sir!" When the General left, the soldier picked up the microphone for the PA and half laughing, half shaking told the whole of SGC that Colonel Jack O'Neill had returned.
Sam heard the telephone ring. She thought about not answering it, but then took it in her hands. 'Time to make an effort Sam.' She thought about the conversation she had had with Janet.
"Hello?"
"Major Carter?" A man's voice came over that she didn't recognise.
"Speaking."
"Major, this is Lieutenant Stevens. Your presence is requested at the base." She could hardly understand him; he was talking so quickly.
"What's wrong Lieutenant?"
"Oh nothing bad! Ah, well you see, there's um, um." On the other side of the phone the Lieutenant stopped fumbling when he realised he could play the easiest card in the pack. "All I've got is my orders, Major. I only know it is important that you are here."
Sam sighed; she really didn't need this.
"Okay. I'll be there in about three minutes."
"As fast as you can Major." The soldier was giggling. Sam hung up the phone frowning. What was going on? As she wasn't allowed to drive because of her leg she called a taxi to take her to the SGC.
When Jack had shaken every hand or hugged every body on the base he tried to explain. Rial was beside him, taking her surroundings in and the Tau'ri with huge eyes. She was standing as close as she could to Jack. He laughed at her actions. She was incredibly nervous and constantly looped and un-looped her arm through his. Rial's innocence shone through her eyes and was heard in her questions. He patted her arm incorrigibly. She asked him constantly where Sam was and Jack himself kept one eye on the door. Daniel had told him she was coming and he was dying to see her. Feel her. Smell her. Hear her. All of the above.
When he had first stepped into the SGC, his first thought was Sam. His second was 'Yey, I'm not splattered on the iris.' Daniel had given him an emotional hug, and so had Teal'c, nearly braking his arms. All the staff on the base, at least three hundred were crowded into the room chatting noisily and the atmosphere was electric. Janet had made him show his wounds and when he took off his T-shirt she gasped with disbelief. You could see the entry scars, all nineteen of them and yet he was standing here as clear as day. Jack hurriedly explained about the Kilabra and its effects. The General made him tell him how he mentally escaped certain death.
"I guess I had a lot to think about. I saw them throw my uniform through the gate and I knew you would think I was dead, but I couldn't get near the gate to even send word."
"Whatever kept you going Colonel?" Hammond asked. Jack smiled at Daniel and Teal'c.
"Well I had these guys to control. I knew if they were under any other commander, he would run mad. Oops, good thing Carter didn't hear that. Excuse me, he or she would run mad." He joked. Silently he handed the General Sam's SGC badge. It was dirty and battered, but still in one piece. Hammond nodded in response.
"We never thought we would see you again." Daniel's eyes clouded. It suddenly turned serious.
"Never say never Danny boy, didn't any one ever tell you that?" He hugged his best friend again in a brotherly action. Daniel then started talking to Rial, who was still dragging on Jack's every word. Jack became engaged with another officer. Where was Sam? He wouldn't be truly home until she came.
She limped as fast as she could towards the Gate room. What the hell was going on? Three airmen had run past her already in the same direction. As she rounded the corner, shouts and screams echoed in her ears. The whole of the SGC was assembled in the place, jammed in to the brim. Sam looked wildly around. There was Teal'c. Janet. Daniel. Who was Daniel talking to? She frowned in confusement. General Hammond. Captain Cole. Jack. Graham Simmons. Whoa. Jack! Her eyes widened in shock. What kind of dream was this? Her pulse quickened as she slowly crossed the room praying she wouldn't wake up if this were a dream. Her side throbbed in the action and the crowd pushed aside for her. They grew quiet and sombre. He looked older; his hair was greyer and ruffled. He had his shirt off and she could see the pink circles on his muscular side from bullets. He was pale and thinner that much was obvious. His eyes were sunken, dull and lifeless; there was no humour or laughter in his appearance. Jack's shoulders were sagged, his head bent low. Sam bit her lip in an effort to control her emotions that raged in side her. She had imagined this moment thousands of times. What she would say to Jack when she saw him again. After Edora, Sam had promised herself she would never get so involved with a friend, and not expect him to love her. Promised herself she wouldn't grieve of work herself raw to get him back next time. So that had gone up in smoke when he had apologised. Sam felt like she couldn't breathe. Her eyes bubbled over as she neared him. God, why did he have to have such control over her?
Sam gasped when she saw the woman. No, no, no. Not again. She couldn't take it again. She was hanging on his arm, very close. 'Why Jack? Didn't you know I'd wait forever for you?' Her insides crumbled into a heap. He didn't feel the same way. He didn't love her. That last week had meant nothing to him like it had to her. Her brain ran riot with all the different reasons he would do it again. She closed her eyes in regret and shame. Too much, it was too much to take in. He was dead, he was alive; he was with her, and he was with someone else. It was like Laira all over again but a hundred times worse. Please God, don't let me feel like that again. Feel alone and betrayed; let down, distrusted and disrespected. Samantha Carter began to shake.
Jack saw her. She was limping towards him, tears streaking her delicate face. When he saw her first he nearly fell on his knees. Her collar and cheek bones projected at a fierce angle through her skin. She was wearing one of his shirts, tied at the waist, and some grey sweat pants. Sam's waist had gone down two sizes at least and it hit him hard like a punch in the gut. He had done this to her. Shame and regret racked his body. He fixed his eyes with hers. They were grey and dull, full of hurt; the lightening blue didn't reflect off her skin at him. Jack saw her close her eyes and a jolt ran deep to his core. Sam. The last three months dripped in front of him and he was sure he had never felt so alone when Sam wasn't there. Silence. The room was silent. His own eyes began to wet, his throat dry and he tried to swallow; guilt and love fighting to win in his heart. He let go of Rial and swiftly stumbled towards Sam. His back protested, but he gritted his teeth against the pain. The only pain killer he needed was her. 10 more paces. 8 more paces. 6 more paces. He stopped. Sam was backing away holding her arm out to stop him. He tried to ignore it and kept going.
"No!"
"Sam. Sam what's wrong? Look at me please." Why was she acting like this? Why wouldn't she let him near her?
"Don't touch me!" She shook her head face crumpling, glancing at Rial and back at Jack with disbelief written over her face. It hurt too much and she knew if he held her, she wouldn't be able to surrender. But he had betrayed her again and she wasn't sure if he could make it better again by saying he was sorry. Sam almost laughed. She would accept his apology, even if it were years late, because it was from him.
Jack looked over his shoulder and suddenly saw what Sam had seen.
"No, no! Sam. It's not like that. Don't you dare think that! She helped me get out of there; I couldn't just leave her. Sam please look at me." He pleaded. She did. Her eyes connected and she saw he was telling the truth, because what she saw there was love and rejection. Their audience was spell bound. Could it be? Colonel Jack O'Neill, everyone's favourite commander and favourite jackass was really involved with his 2IC? The General was stunned into shock. Janet was crying slowly and Daniel squeezed her hand in comfort. Major Desial had her hands over her mouth, her face showing the sadness that the military and civilians shared as the two 'starred crossed lovers' met for the first time in three months. The guys felt the hair on the back of their necks shoot up. The whole of the SGC was combined in their willpower; everybody wanted this tragic love story to have a happy ending.
Sam closed the gap so there was only a pace between them. Jack's every fibre was humming as she closed in, she was near enough for him to just reach out touch her, but they just stood there. Suddenly Sam's hand shot up and slapped him hard on the face. There was a mummer that went through the crowd like a Mexican wave as the sound echoed off the walls. Jack staggered backwards. He had not been expecting that. When he stood up straight again his hand immediately went to the reddening patch on his cheek where her hand had connected harshly with his flesh.
"Jesus Christ! What was that for?" He shouted. Here he was trying to be Jack, trying to tell her how much he loved her and Sam had hit him. Hard. Her nostrils flared angrily as she brushed her hair away from her face with a quick swipe. She shook her finger at him accusingly.
"Don't you ever die for me again! I forbid it. Don't you ever play the hero again Jack, or I swear I'll kill you myself. You have put me through hell, you bastard!" Sam was shouting, but you could tell she was trying to keep her voice under control. Jack ignored her ranting and pulled her into his arms. She gasped as skin met skin, ribs met ribs and heart met heart. "You bastard." She whispered. Her arms instantly gripped round his neck, hands clasping arms in a deadbolt embrace. Jack closed his eyes against the instant urge to cry. She was so small and fragile in his weak arms. They really were a good match. A cheer gripped the watching staff as the air between the two was squeezed out. Relief rushed into the room, replacing the tension that had enveloped them. Jack kissed her repeatedly on her golden hair. He held out his arm.
"Jeez, here I am playing the knight in shining armour routine and this is what I get for it." Sam giggled softly in response. That was good.
"I missed you so much." She whispered.
"I missed you too. All I had was this..." She pulled away long enough to see her SGC badge. And they didn't have to say anymore just then because it was shown in their touch. He kissed her on the forehead. The General approached them and they both stiffened slightly.
"I really hate to break you two kids up, but I need to steal Colonel O'Neill from you Sam, just for a second." Sam blinked. The General was asking her permission to take Jack away, as if Jack was hers. She smiled as the warm glow returned to her bones. Jack was hers, and even the General saw it. They didn't have to hide anymore.
"Sure Sir. I hope not for too long." Her eyes danced with happiness. Jack bent to whisper in her ear as Hammond left, thinking his 2IC was following.
"I see you've stolen more of my clothes. Soon I won't have anything else to wear." The teddy bear glint had returned to his eyes.
"That's a nice thought." She replied, fitting back into flirting with him as if nothing had happened. He laughed and sauntered away, after a firm squeeze of her hands. Sam let out a small moan. Man, that man could slaunter sexily. As she turned a woman ran straight into her.
"Oh excuse me." She said automatically.
"You are Major Samantha Carter?" Sam looked up into the smiling face of the young woman Jack had returned with.
"Uh Yeah..." She was cut off by the girl hugging her tightly. "Whoa." Sam was completely taken aback. Finally she let go of her.
"It is an honour to meet you finally. I have been told so much about you. I am Rial, daughter of Velanci. Jack helped me escape Tousan. You are an absolute genius!" She said hurriedly.
Sam blushed.
"I think Jack might have exaggerated, a bit."
"No! No that can not be so! I have heard all about the missions of SG-1. I have never met a man so infatuated with a woman, and one that is below him! You are my heroine." She breathed. Sam laughed. They walked over to Daniel.
"So what else did Jack say about me?"
"Oh, lots..."
Daniel, Teal'c, Janet and Rial surrounded Sam on a stack of crates. They looked very similar to the ones Jack and her had sat on when he had asked her to the dance all that time ago. The Gate room was still packed, no one wanted to return to work, and since no one had ordered them to, well... It buzzed with excitement; every single person was on a high. Her friends and herself had been talking about Tousan and Rial was filling in many of the empty gaps. Sam was just wondering where Jack and Hammond had gone to when there was a commotion at the door. Her commanding officer, her lover, was watching her intently. She shivered. Jack was definitely up to something, she could always tell. The General entered the room. Jack stood up straight and looked ahead into space. He saluted smartly and Hammond saluted back. They both looked deadly serious. Sam suddenly got worried.
"Sir!" Jack shouted loud enough so the whole place fell into a curious silence once again.
"What is it Colonel O'Neill?" The General asked in his usual tone.
"Sir! Permission to kiss Major Carter, Sir!" Sam's eyes widened. The women in the room giggled softly. Daniel laughed along with Janet and Teal'c just raised his eyebrow with an amused expression splashed on his face.
"Granted Colonel O'Neill, your mission is a go." Hammond still looked serious.
"Thank you Sir!" Jack glanced around for his girl. There she was, on the other side of the room grinning like a Cheshire cat. 'Bingo' Jack thought. 'I knew that's get me a high kilowatt smile.' Sam jumped off the crate and stood waiting for him. This was what was called total love. Jack walked slowly up to her, the crowd calling out encouragement and whooping like teenagers. His face was unreadable and dead pan. She had a playful kink in her eyebrows and he immediately melted into butter. He had his T back on and gave her his most smouldering stare. Sam bit her lip as he came closer; he wasn't going to get away with all the smart assed talk. She talked loudly so everyone could hear her.
"So. Now that you've walked the walk. Are you gonna talk the talk?" The crowd cheered again she noted with satisfaction. Jack stood there for a second taking in her beauty with a slow sweep of his gaze. Sam shivered again as he looked at her. Then he slipped an arm around her waist and in a slow motion, movie style moment, drew his lips down to hers. The kiss was slow but passionate communicating emotions that there were no words to express yet in the English dictionary. She pulled him deeper, their hips brushing as he wrapped his arms tighter around her back. Hammond laughed and cheered along with his soldiers that surrounded the couple. He heard Daniel say to Janet over the racket,
"Finally!"
"In public, Daniel. Remember it had been going on for a week before Tousan." The General wasn't shocked. Colonel O'Neill had told him of his affair with Sam a few minutes earlier, about a second after he had told Jack that the regulations were being over looked for him and Sam.
It was 1600 hours. Jack and Sam were in his office talking and drinking coffee. It had been a couple of hours since staff had gone back to work and the earth shattering kiss. Jack had told her what she had prayed to hear. About how much he loved her and couldn't live without her. Okay, so it was more romantic than that, but his words were the most important to her. She had assured him that she had been in love with him for a long time too.
Now he pulled her over to him, where he was on the perched on the desk. Jack took her cup and set it on the tray with his and ran his hand over her face.
"I never thought this would happen to me." He said softly.
"What?"
"Fall so much in love with someone, I can't live without them."
"Tell me about it." She murmured. "And Jack?"
"Mhmm?"
"Never say never." She repeated what he had told Daniel earlier, although she hadn't been there to hear it.
He rubbed his thumbs over her stomach under the shirt.
"You've lost so much weight."
"I guess I didn't eat much."
"Well! We'll have to get you started on a new diet of full fat chocolate everyday. Starting now." She chuckled, a regular occurrence now he was home.
"Right this minute?" She asked in an innocent voice, speaking so their lips were millimetres apart.
"Not right this minute." She kissed him then, hungrily and hurriedly. Their bodies melted into each other's. Just then the telephone rang, bring them back to earth with a jolt. Jack reached back with one hand, the other still keeping her moulded into him.
"O'Neill." She couldn't hear the other person. "Okay, we'll be right there." He couldn't be going away, not now. Jack cradled the phone and answered her questioning face.
"There's a taxi just down the road waiting for us."
"Where are we going?"
"Do you really think I can wait a moment longer?" Sam giggled again.
"What have I told you about giggling Major Carter?"
"I don't seem to remember Sir." They left his office and walked down the corridor to the elevators, Sam's arm around Jacks waist, Jack's arm around her shoulders both anticipating what would happen when they reached her house at approximately 1630 hours.
The end!!!!!!
Finis!!!!!!
Tootles - Ali
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