Jack O'Neill sat behind his desk, inattentively sifting through the pile of reports that had accumulated on his desk. The month of December was not his favorite time of the year. Oh, the snow was fun and so was the feeling of leisure that permeated the base, but the holiday at the end of the month, who so many adored, but a damper on its charms. Christmas was all that was ever discussed during December, from the first day to the last, conversations of trees, gift giving, and families were always lingering in the air. Far contradictory to the cheerfulness and companionship common in average households, Jack's contained one of reminiscence and echoes of a buried past. Jack avoided the parties and parades, instead content, if not happy, with his own company and his own memories. Any attempts or invitations to get him to join in the festivities were formally, and somewhat brusquely, declined. Self-pity was not a trait Jack condoned, which only served to add frustration to the list of unhealthy emotions that surfaced with each Christmas.
Snapping out of his reverie, Jack sighed and returned his attention to the next report.
I'll be damned if I'm going. Jack thought as he scrambled out of his chair and went to talk to the General, clutching the report in his hand.
--------------------------
"That is just not possible Colonel." Hammond said calmly at an irritated Jack.
"Sir, with all due respect, these dances are a waste of time. I'll make more people angry in a single night than I do in a whole year. Not to mention half of them don't like me anyway."
"Colonel, the Commander and Chief specifically called and mentioned his wish to meet you and your team. You're going, and that's an order."
Jack turned and made to leave.
"Besides Jack, you always manage to spice things up a bit." Hammond laughed.
Jack half-heartedly smiled back as he left to go round up his team and break the news.
----------------------------
"Jack I ." Daniel said desperately. was going to visit a colleague in New York who was going to help me with some deciphering."
"Consider it cancelled." Jack replied stubbornly. "And don't think your going to weasel your way out of it." Jack told Sam and Teal'c who both nodded.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Sam muttered sarcastically.
"I have never attended a ball before." Teal'c raised an eyebrow. would like to know more.
"No Teal'c, you don't
." Jack told him, turned to Daniel. " going to need to help Teal'c find a tux. Carter you'll need a dress."
"No problem, sir." Sam replied even as Daniel muttered under his breath.
"Alright kids." Jack said as he clapped his hands together in mock joy. "We're off to see the Wizard."
The snow was coming down hard as Jack pulled up to the hotel in the rental van. The flight had been pleasant and while the rental company had been less so, he was still in a relatively good mood. After all, Carter had decided to sit next to him the whole trip, in both van and plane. Turning around, he looked at the rest of his company. Behind him sat Daniel and Janet both sound asleep. Cassie waved when she saw him looking at them. Jack had been somewhat surprised when Janet had decided to come along and bring Cassie too. He had thought they would have wanted to stay as far away a possible. But Janet had said since they were all going for Christmas than they might as well too.
"Sir, I'm glad you decided to come." Jack turned quickly at Sam's voice.
"I had no choice, Carter." Jack replied.
"I know sir." Sam smiled slightly, "But Hammond told me that if you had really not
to go, he would have excused you for some "important mission"." Jack stumbled on his next words.
"He said... he... no. You're just...messing with me." But Sam shook her head.
Sam replied with a grin.
Jack flashed irritated look. "Keep that up and I might just kick your ass, Carter."
It slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it.
Now it was Jack's turn to grin. "I might just do it. I'm going to go check in."
"Alright sir, I'll wake the others."
------------------------
Jack stared at the computer screen.
"Are you sure that's my reservation?" He asked.
The lady at the desk said.
"I had reservations for two double bed rooms, not a suite." Jack insisted.
"I'm sorry sir, but the hotel is all booked up. Shall I see if one of our other chains has available rooms, sir?" She asked.
"No," Jack sighed, "The suite will do."
number 333 on the top floor. Have a nice day." She handed him four keys.
"Thanks." Jack said as his friends straggled in from the car.
"Hey guys," Jack smiled wryly, got a surprise."
------------------------
"You're joking." Daniel said disgustingly as he stared at the suite. It had two beds, a sofa, and one bathroom.
Welcome to paradise." Jack joked, as the other looked around in dismay.
"Colonel, I hope this not one of your little jokes." Sam stared accusingly at him.
"Carter, I would never willingly put myself in a room with three women and one bathroom." Daniel and Teal'c smirked as Sam, Janet, and Cassie glared.
"Let's all just settle down. It will work out alright." Daniel said. "Janet, you and Cassie should take one bed. Teal'c and I will take the other."
"That leaves two people and one couch." Sam said.
"Carter, take the couch. The floor's not very hard." Jack said.
"But sir..." Sam began.
"I'll be fine, Captain." He put a little command in his voice. slept on harder mattresses than this." Sam nodded in consent.
Jack glanced at the clock. 9:00pm. "Is anyone hungry? I could order some pizza?"
"Sure."
"Indeed O'Neill."
After taking down everybody's order he came up with two large pepperonis with extra cheese, one mushroom, and a small plain cheese for Cassie, who was a vegetarian.
"Alright I'll call it in." Jack said.
Twenty minutes later, they sat strewn across the room, happily munching on their pizza.
"So Janet," Daniel started, "What are you wearing tomorrow night?"
Janet smiled. "It's a secret, Daniel. Let's just say it would make dogs look up."
Jack quirked an eyebrow at Sam as Daniel went a slight shade of red. The relationship between Daniel and Janet was nothing new, but Janet could still make Daniel blush.
"Daniel, do you think you could get me another slice?" Jack asked, giving Daniel a chance to regain his composure.
"Sure Jack." Daniel answered.
Cassie finished her pizza and asked Sam to pass the box. As Sam bent over to hand it to her, Cassie whispered something in her ear and the two smirked as they glanced up at him.
"What?" Jack asked.
Cassie laughed. "Tell him Sam."
Sam grinned at him. "Maybe later, Cassie. Don't want to ruin the Colonel's appetite."
"Come on Carter. It be any more embarrassing than the fact that you sleep with a teddy bear at night." Five inquisitive stares shot back at him.
"Uh sir, how exactly did you know that?" Sam asked quietly.
Jack cast desperately for an answer. "Jacob told me."
"And what led to that conversation." Sam asked again.
"Umm, well, we were talking about strange habits that we had and he just mentioned it." Jack spit out.
"Okay, sir." Sam answered, unbelieving.
Jack glared at the Janet and Cassie as they burst out laughing.
"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard." Cassie laughed.
"I would agree O'Neill." Teal'c observed. "It is far more likely a fact Cassie would know."
At that statement Cassie stopped cold dead, the laughter frozen upon her face.
Sam said menacingly, "That's very interesting." Sam moved pounced on Cassie, tickling her furiously.
"Take that, snitch." She said triumphantly as Cassie squirmed on the ground.
Please Sam, stop!" Cassie cried out. After upsetting, a pizza box and dumping the remaining contents on a certain Colonel's lap, Janet stepped in and told Cassie she should go to bed.
"It's 11:30pm. I think its time we all retire. We have a long night tomorrow." Janet said.
After a series of goodnights, each person retired to their respective beds and Sam turned out the lights. As she stumbled back to bed, she kicked something hard. She heard a muffled groan.
"Sam, are you always so damn clumsy? It's cute, you know." He asked, in his dream. Sam heard a giggle. Cassie.
Blushing and trying to hold back a smile. "Sorry sir." She whispered, as she stepped over him and lay down on the couch.
------------------
Jack decided that he had never liked continental breakfasts. The eggs were always dry and all the bagels were plain. A few had yogurt and the really good ones had waffle irons, but most were small and dull.
Jack had gotten up early to avoid the impending rush to use the bathroom. After all, unlike Daniel or Teal'c, he had lived with a woman for years and he knew how long they took in the shower. Multiply that by three and you had a hell of a long time. Not to mention the time they took after a shower to do all their little cosmetic grooming. Men were short and simple. Shower, shave, deodorize, and they were gone.
Jack glanced at his watch 7:30 . He had been sitting down here for an hour already, arriving slightly after the breakfast was opened. A few people had come and businessmen mostly, off to various meetings and conferences. He did not envy them. He much preferred the life of action and adventure to the life of endless meetings, long hours, and lonely trips. Despite his sarcastic humor and relative ease with people he did not enjoy large crowds of people or big parties. Time alone was so of his most valued.
Jack looked up. Carter.
Sam nodded. "Grab some food and pull up a chair." Jack said, and then as an afterthought, "The waffles aren't half bad."
She came back with a waffle, a container of yogurt, and a banana.
"Hungry?" He joked.
Sam nodded as she cut a piece of her waffle and popped it into her mouth.
"Normal people put syrup on theirs." Jack said.
" not particularly healthy, sir." Sam replied after she had swallowed.
Jack waved his hand at the rest of her food. "One unhealthy thing is not going to kill you."
Sam pointed her fork at him.
"Hate to have to be the one to break it to you, but you aren't fat, Carter."
"I know sir." Sam replied as she started on her yogurt.
"Is everything blue with you?" Jack asked, rolling his eyes. "Favorite yogurt blueberry, favorite Jell-O is blue, favorite color is blue, your eyes are blue." Sam sighed, exasperated. "The list goes on and on Carter."
Smiling, Sam rolled her eyes.
"No, I think it's sexy." Sam blushed slightly.
"Oh, uh... thanks." She managed finally.
the short reply.A short time later, Daniel and Janet emerged, followed by Janet and then finally Teal'c.
"I was not aware women of your planet took so long to relieve themselves." Teal'c stated when he arrived.
Jack grinned. "Yes well, I'm sure Carter can explain it."
"I would very much like to hear that, Captain Carter." Teal'c said turning to her as Sam stuttered out a reply.
"Sure...Tea
After breakfast, the Teal'c, Cassie and Daniel went to see a Bears game and Jack and the others visited the several shops and stores, Jack's excuse being that he needed to do some last minute Christmas shopping. As the day progressed, the two parties met up for lunch and then together walked around downtown and proceeded to freeze to death until Daniel glanced at his watch and cried out in alarm.
"Whoa! We need to hoof it back! We've only got two hours left before the ball, and with one bathroom going to take a while!"
Twenty minutes later, after a speedy run and a quick drive, they rushed through door to their hotel grabbing their things left and right while calling out to each other all the while.
"You girls can change in the room since you need more space." Jack said as he pulled out his tuxedo.
"But we need to do our makeup." Janet argued back as she pulled her dress shoes out of her baggage.
"Well then you take the bathroom and we'll take the bedroom." Daniel decided quickly.
Sam snorted. "All three of us can't fit in their, dresses and all."
"Okay," Jack said, irritated. "You put on your makeup while we change pants. Then, you come out here to change, and we'll go in there to put on our coats and ties."
Cassie cried finally.
With the clarification of room switching done things went smoothly, at least as smoothly as things could go with six people trying to get changed for a formal ball without seeing anything inappropriate of the opposite sex. Finally, in with a huge collective sigh of relief, the six friends were standing opposite each other catching their breath.
"Uh, guys," Daniel said questioning, "you don't seem to have dresses on."
Sam blushed and Janet ducked her head. It was Cassie who answered.
"It was Mom's fault. We only managed to put makeup on because she had to make it perfect.
"Well it does, uh, look good." Jack supplied. "So, out here you were...?"
Cassie answered.
"Ah." Jack replied.
"Well you'll have to change there because we have to go." Daniel said tapping his watch as he headed for the door.
"Jack, you got the keys?"
"Then go."
------------------
The American Opera House, though amazing on the outside with its towering height and colossal columns, was even more splendid inside. White marble columns lined the walkways and were accented by the black swirls on the floor that had no apparent design. Giant crystal chandeliers hung from the domed roof; their numerous facets sending out sparkling rays in a vortex of light. The entranceway to the chamber where the ball was being held was on a smaller scale though still retained the magnificence of the House. The double doors were made out of enchantingly serene glades.
General Hammond greeted them at the door and bade them enter. Jack pulled open a door and was surprised by the ease with which he did it. Daniel walked through, followed by Teal'c. The General gave the ladies directions to a bathroom where they could change.
"Jack." Hammond said, halting Jack. "Senator Kinsey is here."
Jack shot him a questioning look. "Why is that sir? It is an Air Force personnel ball."
"The President invited him on the grounds of his close association with the Stargate Program." Jack frowned heavily. "Look, I'm not happy about it either, but you're going to have to hold your temper. I can't afford for you to make this command or yourself look bad. I can't afford to have you to be court-martialed either."
"Sir, I believe that I can handle it." Jack replied coldly, receiving a sharp look from Hammond.
"Very well son." Hammond responded. "Tell the other for me. I have to go talk to some Generals."
------------------
Some time later, three hours in fact, after several visits to the banquet table, no visits to the dance floor, and several encounters with cocky hotshot officers, Jack was torn between being utterly bored and extremely anger. He sat alone at a table, his attention focused on a dancing couple, Daniel and Sam. Sam looked elegant in the sleek deep blue dress with a high slit and low neckline, low enough to show to see her every breath. Her hair was done up with oriental sticks and her eyes were accented with slight eye shadow. Surprisingly, she appeared to be enjoying herself. After returning from the bathroom, she had danced and conversed with apparent ease. Jack had quickly ruled out the possibility of dancing with her, the risk of being out of order was too great. Jack had avoided politicians at all cost, with the exception of his short chat with the President, in which he was thanked for saving the world and the honor he brought to his country.
"Colonel O'Neill," a voice drawled out from behind him. "I imagine you weren't pleased when you found out I was here"
Jack did not respond.
Kinsey walked around the table and took a seat across from Jack.
"The General warned you didn't ?" Kinsey laughed. Let me ask you something Colonel, have you ever considered a political career? With your judge of character and loyalty, you and I could make a great team."
"Shove it, Kinsey." Jack growled, looking away from Kinsey.
There was silence for a time before Kinsey spoke again.
"She's quite attractive you know." He said quietly. Jack followed his eyes to see whom he was talking about. Sam.
"I envy you. Kinsey teased. "It must be agonizing for you. To see every day the woman you love, yet never be able to touch her, hold her, have her."
Jack's ire rose, but he contained it with an iron wall. "Do you have a point Kinsey?" He asked, but the Senator ignored him.
"Her hair would feel like silk as it ran through your hands. Her skin would be velvety to the touch, full of warm comfort for both the body and mind. Tell me Jack, have you ever wondered what it would be like to take her for your own? To be pleasured gently by her roaming hands? To feel her soft lips gently massage your lust? It must be excruciating to know that whatever you accomplish in live, whatever goals you achieve, will be paled in comparison by the failure of capturing the woman who was your life, yet the personification of its destruction."
A surge of anger bombarded his senses, a searing rage that demanded venting. Jack stood silently, took a step toward Kinsey, hauled him out of his seat, and then sent a fist colliding into his temple.
The yells and screams that filled the room fell on deaf ears as Jack threw off a pair of officers who attempted to halt him and strode silently over to the President. An inner calm radiated from Jack and by the time he had reached the President, the room had fallen silent its attention fixed on the two men.
"That man is a bastard." Jack whispered softly, though the silence was so complete that everyone heard. No one moved as he turned on his heel and walked quietly to the door where he paused on last time.
"Life is meaningless if happy is unattainable." And with that he exited, closing the door behind him.
----------------------
Sam stared at the television screen, her worry mounting. It was currently on the Weather Channel that was calling for 20-30inches of snow over the day and into night. She had only to look out the doors to see that it had already reached half the prospective total. The Chicago-O'Hare Airport had already cancelled flights for the day and half of the next. Sam's real concern, however, was Jack. After his treasonous exhibition last night, he had failed to return to the hotel. Since then it had snowed over 14 inches and dropped into the teens with wind chills of -10. With a sudden surge of decision, Sam pulled on her heaviest jacket, put her blue hat, wrapped a scarf around her neck and went to go look for Jack.
------------------
Jack stumbled out of the bar only to shiver uncontrollably as a rush of bitterly cold air beat against his face. A tuxedo was very inadequate clothing for the temperatures, and in minutes Jack was freezing. He walked head bowed down the street, ignoring the curious glances and occasional inquiry. Snow crunched under his feet as he worked off the effects of the numerous drinks that he had had over the night. His soul-searching had revealed nothing but the pain and unhappiness to back Kinsey's argument. He hadn't been truly happy since Charlie died, after which he had never truly recovered. Iraqi prison camp, Charlie's death, Sara leaving, attempting suicide, all had been before the SGC, which had given him a reason to live, and a feeling of contentment but never happiness. Jack continued his stoic walk, past stores of Christmas cheer, past a happy gaggle of teenagers, past a young couple introducing their young child to the joys of Christmas, past all displays of affection and companionship but halted at a small street alley. The old woman and one of the children asleep, but he found his eyes drawn to those of the boy. A pale shade of blue, they stared unblinking, filled with a chaotic mix of despair, weariness, and apathy. Moved by a hidden yet tumultuous emotion, Jack stripped off his tuxedo jacket and laid it gently over the boy, then pulling out his wallet stuck two hundred dollars in the pocket. The boy gave a weak smile as Jack turned and walked away, a small ache in his heart eased.
--------------------------
To say Sam was worried would be the understatement of the year. She had searched the immediate vicinity of the hotel and had started to search the area on the way to the Opera House, with no success. In despair, she had turned back to and was heading back to the hotel when she noticed a man sitting with a group of homeless people around a trashcan fire wearing only a dress shirt and tuxedo pants. The walk quickly turned into a run as she noticed the man's short, grey hair.
--------------------
A middle-aged woman said to Jack, "I think someone is looking for you." Following her finger, Jack saw Sam running toward him.
She said breathlessly. "Are you alright?"
Jack didn't answer right away, and instead took in her cheek pink from the cold and the way they made her blue eyes shine.
"Calm down, Carter." He answered calmly. "I'm fine."
"But Colonel, only wearing a shirt! Sam exclaimed.
A boy said, leaning forward to take a good look at Jack. "You're old to be a Colonel." The middle-aged woman quickly hushed him.
"Shush! That's rude." She scolded.
"It's alright." Jack said, stepping in and flashing a smile. "I get that all the time."
"Sir, we need to get you inside." Sam insisted.
"Carter, calm down." Jack repeated. "I'm not going to fall over dead."
"You'd better listen to your wife, Colonel." The middle-aged woman interjected.
Sam blushed. "I'm not his..."
At the same time Jack said. "She's not my ... wife."
The old woman listened to none of it. "Sure, sure honey. Miss, you had better keep a good watch on your man. He's a fine one, if a bit headstrong."
Sam blushed until her ears were burning.
"Uh, your right I think I've caught a cold, we should go." Jack said hurriedly as he gave a quick farewell. "Come on, Carter." They walked back in silence, each waiting for the other to speak first.
--------------------
Jack stepped out of the bathroom. He was glad it wasn't on his water he had been in there for almost an hour. Pulling on his shirt, he checked the room. No one there must still be down there watching the snow pile up. Daniel had told him about the airport cancellations and the predicted amount of snow. Checking his watch, Jack's stomach growled. 6:12pm. Time to eat.
He found the other sitting on sofas in the commons.
Daniel asked.
"Yep, the hot shower was excellent." Jack responded taking a seat next to Cassie.
"O'Neill, I do believe that you were in the facilities longer than the women." Teal'c stated to the laughter of the rest.
"Hey, I'm old." Jack said defensively. "Old people get to use the bathroom longer. It's a privilege." Cassie giggled.
"You look good for an old guy though." Cassie insisted.
Sam's head jerked and she nodded with a small smile.
"Well, I'm starving." Jack changed the subject. "Anybody got some grub?"
"The hotel's having a Christmas Eve dinner." Janet said. "It's only $5 a plate."
Jack agreed. "Daniel you want to go order 6 plates?"
"Sure, but I expect to be paid back." Daniel said suspiciously.
"Boy scouts honor." Jack joked.
----------------------
Some time later, about an hour, they had finished dinner and the group had broken into small groups having quiet conversations. Sam and Janet were discussing something serious by the look of it, while Daniel and Cassie were playing a game of chess. Cassie had Daniel in a vise. Her rook had checked his king, and he could only move into the corner where Cassie's bishop was soon to checkmate.
"O'Neill, why does this hotel have a fireplace?" Jack turned and looked at the giant fireplace. It was over four feet wide and six feet tall.
He said sarcastically, then seriously. "I doubt anything more than decoration, Teal'c."
Suddenly, the lights flickered and then went out.
"We'll make a tarot card reader out of you yet, Teal'c." Jack's sarcastic reply, to the ironic power outage.
"Well, this is new." Jack said to his friends. "I'm going to get my jacket. Do any of you guys want yours? It's going to get cold."
------------------
Jack came back lugging five jackets and wearing his own.
"Daniel here's yours." Jack said as he distributed the jackets.
It was still dark except for a few candles and flashlights that shone.
"For crying out loud, muttered and grabbed a nearby hotel employee. "Don't you have anything for light?"
This hotel doesn't have a generator and our gas heater isn't connected to any light fixtures." The man was about to pull away when Jack grabbed his shirt.
"I have an idea. Can you take me to your gas heater?"
------------------
"That was clever. How did you figure out that the gas heater was connected to the " Daniel asked. The room was now filled with a bright light and the occupants of the hotel had gathered there for warmth.
"It was educated guess." Jack replied. They sat a comfortable distance away from the fire and watched as a group of little kids played a board game in front of the fire. The hotel had provided blankets to the guests and even managed to produce four bags of marshmallows, which caused a stir of delight amongst the children. One had even roasted a marshmallow for Jack.
"Well, it was a good one." Cassie said admirable.
Jack grinned despite of himself. His day had gone from horrible to endurable. He had by no means forgotten the earlier events, but had instead pushed them into the back of his mind.
"Oh look, that man is going to play his guitar." Cassie squealed with excitement.Jack looked and indeed an old man had pulled out a guitar and started to tune it.
"I wonder if he knows "Sweet Home Alabama?" Cassie said.
"Go ask." Jack urged. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind." And indeed he didn't. After playing Sweet Home Alabama he went on to play numerous other tunes in which he caught the attention of the crowd and soon had them clapping and yelling requests.
"Do you know "Highway to Hell?
"Play a Queen !"
"Yeah play "We Will Rock You!"
The guitar player held up his hand for silence. "My hands need a break. However if anyone else would like to play something, feel free." A collective sigh of disappointment went through the crowd. Then a middle-aged man with red hair stood up.
"I have for a few Irish songs that I can sing, if someone else can play the guitar." The red haired man looked around, and then shrugged and turned to sit.
"I'll play." All eyes turned to Jack. "I'll play the songs." He repeated.
"Excellent." The red haired man exclaimed. "What's your name?
"Jack O'Neill."
"Well, of Irish descent." Jack corrected, as he picked up the guitar and studied the tabs.
"Think you can manage?" The red haired man asked. "Irish music is fast."
"I can go as fast as you need." Jack replied evenly.
"Excellent.
Jack strummed the opening chords and let the music envelop him.
Gentlemen it is me duty
To inform you of one beauty
Thought I'd ask of you a favor
Not to seek her for a while
Though I own she is a creature
Of character and feature
No words can paint the picture of the Queen of All Argyll
Chorus:
And if you could have seen her there
Boys if you had just been there
The swan was in her movements
And the marvel in her smile
All the roses in the garden
They bow and ask her garden for not one could match the beauty
Of the Queen of All Argyll
On the evening that I mentioned
I passed with light intention
Through the part of our dear country
Known for beauty and for style
In the place of noble thinkers
Of scholars and great drinkers
But above them all for splendor
Shone the Queen of All Argyll
Chorus
So my lads I needs must leave you
My intentions no' to grieve you
Nor indeed would I decieve you
Oh' I'll see you in a while
I must find some way to gain her
To court her and attain her
I fear my heart's in danger
Chorus x2
There was a roar of applause as both men bowed and then proceeded to play several more songs. After a while the Irishman professed sore throat and called it quits.
The Irishman said, shaking Jacks hand.
He replied.
"That was great!" Cassie cried giving him a hug.
" was a surprise." Daniel said, getting nods from Janet and Teal'c in agreement.
Jack shrugged. "I like Irish music."
"Oh." Daniel replied.
The evening wore on, people providing a variety of entertainment, from singing to magic tricks, to stand up comedy. Eventually, the flow of acts stopped and people quieted down separating into smaller groups.
Jack sat by himself on the outskirts of the crowd, with the fires shadows playing across his face.
"I never knew you played, Colonel."
Jack turned and beckoned for Sam to have a seat beside him.
"You don't know everything, Carter." He replied.
Sam took the reprimand as it was meant a joke. "Sir, can I ask you about last night?"
Jack didn't reply. Taking his silence as compliance, Sam continued. "What did Kinsey say to you?"
"Cant tell you, Carter." Jack said quietly. "But what I can tell you is that he was right."
Sam asked softly.
"That's not helpful." Sam replied, irritated.
Jack spit out. "Right about what you are, right about what you do, right about everything!" He snapped.
"What am I sir? What do I do?" She asked softly.
Jack shuddered and then looked over into her eyes. "You are my happiness and my destruction."
"I'm not following you, sir."
"Stop calling me sir, dammit!" Jack nearly shouted, before regaining control. "You are the one thing that makes me truly happy but since I can never have you, you will destroy me."
"I would never do that sir!" Sam replied, shocked.
Jack gave her a sad and pitying look. "You can't help it, it's my fault." With that Jack stood and walked away, leaving a confused and deeply worried Sam.
------------------
Jack wandered back into the crowd, weaving his way past people, giving polite replies to their appraisal and walked over to the Irishman who accepted his company silently, respecting his need and waiting for him to talk.
"Have you ever been in love?" Jack asked, eventually.
"Yes, I was married once. I loved her with my entirety and still love her to this day."
"What happened?" Jack asked.
The Irishman replied, lost in thought.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. She enjoyed her life and lived it to its fullest." He replied. "You have loved once." He stated it as a fact.
"Yes. I was married and had a son." Jack answered. "My son shot himself with my personal gun and my wife left me." The Irishman said nothing, knowing mere words were inadequate.
"Now I'm in love with another woman. One who's " Jack continued.
"Loving twice is rare." The man replied. "Attainability is not necessary for happiness. Cherish all the time you spend with her and memorize her every nuance of character and figure." The man laughed. "After all, I'm still happy dreaming of my wife in bed at nights." Jack chuckled, unable to imagine the picture without any humor.
"In Ireland, we use music to convey love and emotions. ` The Irishman fixed Jack with a stare. "Military regulations didn't stop me from marrying her. They shouldn't stop you either." Seeing Jack's surprised features he said. "The little girl has a big mouth." Then he smiled. "She's observant and wise for one her age."
Jack smiled and then shook the Irishman's hand as he stood, his decision made.
----------------
Sam had returned to the sofa and sat down beside Cassie. She was still confused and disoriented by what Jack had said, when Cassie elbowed her hard in the side.
"Look." She said pointing.
There Jack stood, holding the guitar and a hand up for silence.
"Don't let love and happiness slip through your fingers by thinking unattainable." Jack strummed the first chords of what Sam recognized as the song "Goodbye Girl." Then to her surprise, he started to sing in a clear baritone.
All your life you've waited for love to come and stay
Now that I have found you, you must not slip away
I know its hard believin' the words you've heard before
Darlin' you must trust them for me
Trust them just once more
Cause baby goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together again
If you wake and I'm not there, I be long away oh
Cause the things you do my Goodbye Girl
Bring me back to you.
I know you've been taken, afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me instead of givin' in
I can wait forever, helpin you to see
I was meant for you my love and you were meant for me
Remember goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean we'll never be together agin
Though we may be so far apart you still have my heart
So forget you past my Goodbye Girl
Now you're home at last.
Jack let the last notes die, and raised a hand in response to the applause.
----------------
Jack lay on the floor that night thinking back. Sam had stared at him for a few minutes before realizing what she was doing and looked away. They had avoided each other the remainder of the night. Now lying here, staring at the ceiling, Jack wondered if he had done the right thing. Before he had been certain but now he wasn't sure.He could have caused a larger rift to form between them. God forbid that. Suddenly he felt heard something to his right. Slowly a face materialized from the dark. The blue eyes shone as they caught the faintest glimmers of light.
"You can be so endearing at times." She said.
"Uh, thanks." He replied, swallowing hard.
"Other time you can be such an ass."
"Hey!" Jack exclaimed. "That's the last time I do anything for you."
A grin appeared on her face. "Shut up sir." And she leaned forward, putting her whole body against his, and kissed him.
"Ah, Carter do you need you teddy bear?" Jack asked sarcastically in the dark as she curled up alongside him, her head on his chest.
"You're my teddy bear now sir." She replied, pressing her chest against him.
"Oh, I like that." Jack laughed.
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