Almost Fishing:What happened after Edora
Almost Fishing:What happened after Edora
by Revvie
Summary: What could have happened between Edora and Nemesis to repair Sam and Jack's strained relationship
Category: Missing Scene/Epilogue, Romance
Episode Related: 317 A Hundred Days, 321 Crystal Skull, 322 Nemesis
Season: Season 3
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: GEN
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-01-31
Sam had been concentrating for hours on the research displayed on the computer before her.
Her eyes were beginning to glaze over, so she stood up and stretched, stealing a guilty peek at the time.
Not again.
She had been intending to leave at 1900 hours so O'Neill wouldn't bark at her again about working all night, but it was already 2120.
She hoped against hope that he'd gone home already. She really didn't want to listen to him gripe about her long hours. She also really didn't want to go home to her dark, empty house, and she hadn't wanted to for a while.
Not since Jack had been left behind on Edora.
Then he'd come back, having met someone and fallen in love during the three months she'd almost killed herself trying to get him home, and had just as quickly left again, presumably to retire on Edora.
Forever.
She had thought then that her heart would stop beating and she would just die right there on the floor of the Gateroom.
Nothing had been so hard, except maybe her mother's death, than watching the man she was secretly in love with walk out of her life without so much as a backwards glance.
It had hurt. A lot.
And then, in spite of the relief she'd felt when he'd come back and had turned out to have been on an undercover mission all along, their relationship had remained strained and distant with no hint of the close friendship, bordering on something more, that had once given her so much pleasure.
Believing that the 'something more' had been all on her side confused her and hurt deeply.
She couldn't believe she'd misread him that completely.
She couldn't find it in herself to trust him enough to let him back in to her life again, as badly as she wanted, no, needed him back.
The four of them had been on a few missions since, facing danger together, finding their rhythm as a team again, but the hurt inside her heart was an invisible wall, and the result was an unnatural, uneasy relationship that had no resemblance to their earlier closeness.
She found herself immersing herself in her work, trying to ignore the empty places that haunted her, studiously avoiding him.
She missed him.
She missed his teasing, his easy banter with her, the way he had hung out in her lab and bothered with her stuff.
She longed for that camraderie.
She wanted him to seek her out, to find her company special, to give her those incredible looks when he thought she wasn't looking, the way he used to before.
It began to dawn on her that her feelings for him were a lot stronger than they had a right to be, and that they were beyond her control.
The power that he had over her was frightening.
It scared her to death.
And so she threw herself into her work, trying desperately to shield and separate herself from these feelings for this man she had come to need like she needed sunlight, or water.
"Carter?"
He was standing in her lab doorway, looking at her with a dull glare.
"Yes, sir?"
"Why are you still here?"
Sam struggled to pull herself together. It was harder when she was so tired.
"I'm just finishing up. I had to get this report done for Daniel."
"I thought you were leaving early tonight."
"I'm sorry, sir, I just lost track of the time."
Jack's features softened a bit at this admission.
"Well, go home and get some sleep. You look- well, you look like you're wearing yourself out, Carter."
"Yes, sir."
She closed the lid to her laptop and turned off the light at her table that doubled as a desk.
As she walked over to the coat tree, Jack was there, already holding her sweater out to her.
"Thank you," she responded as he carefully held the garment out so she could easily slip it on.
For some reason, the simple gesture surprised and undid her. He'd been so military with her lately, treating her just like one of the guys, no more, no less, that this small nod to her feminine side brought tears to her eyes, tears for all she secretly feared they had lost forever.
Her unshed tears danced miserably under her lashes, and Jack straightened with sudden concern as he noticed them.
"Carter? You okay?"
"Yes," she answered, mortified that he'd noticed, but unable to hide it.
"No, you're not," he observed, placing a hand on each of her shoulders to square her off in front of him.
"Please, Colonel, I'm fine," she pleaded, looking anywhere but at him, wanting to hide away somewhere.
"I'm just tired, and I need to go home."
Her voice trailed into a whisper, and pulling out of his grasp, she stepped into the hall and began to walk towards the elevators.
"Good night, Sam," she heard him say behind her, in a somewhat defeated tone.
"Good night."
She would have escaped then, if she hadn't looked back and seen him standing behind her, a look of longing and pain in his eyes.
To her complete embarrassment, an irresistable sob escaped her as she glanced back at him.
He was immediately right there in front of her, in her personal space, his strong hands on her shoulders again.
"Sam. I want things to be okay between us, but I don't know how to fix what's wrong," he burst out. "Look. I know that I've hurt you, hurt all of you. The guys and I - well, they just let me have it, and now everything's okay. Why don't you just punch me or kick me or something? Just get it out. But no more of this-"
he gestured in a circle around them, his eyes full of pain.
"I miss you." He finished.
His earnest brown eyes were so close to hers now, so full of his unguarded desperation, that she reacted on instinct, slipping her thin arms around his waist and giving in to the hot tears dammed up behind her eyelids.
She quickly pulled back, realizing they were standing in a very public corridor of the SGC, just as he tried to tighten his hold on her.
"Good night, sir," she cried shakily and fled into the elevator.
He watched the doors close and cursed incoherently.
Looked like he'd just made things worse.
It was becoming more and more apparent to him that he'd made a big mistake with Sam, one he wasn't sure could be corrected.
With a heavy heart, he turned in the direction of his on-base quarters, deciding he didn't have the energy to go home himself.
The next day Jack woke up unrefreshed in his quarters, sick inside from the glimpse he'd had of Sam's hurt last night.
Hurt he had inflicted.
If he didn't do something, he was going to lose the one relationship that mattered most to him, the one he was just now realizing mattered more than any other.
Jack waited in the doorway of the cafeteria until he spotted her, reading a thick report and sipping something hot. She looked sad and pale again, too thin, and definitely not rested, he noticed with a pang.
He strode purposefully over to her table.
"Hey, Carter," he greeted her cautiously. "Can I join you?"
"Of course." She cooly motioned at the chair across from her.
He thought about just getting it all out right there, but then took the coward's way out.
"Aahh, is that the report for today's pre-mission briefing?"
"Yes, sir. This planet looks like a very interesting one. It's an address from your knowledge of the Ancients, and it looks like there's a huge cavern on the planet inside a pyramid emitting some kind of neutrino energy. The MALF recording is amazing, you'll see it in the briefing."
Jack was encouraged by her conversational response. He'd been 'yes sirred' and 'no sirred' to death these past few months.
Maybe something had thawed just a little in last night's clumsy apology attempt.
"Really? Nintendos? So what exactly will we be walking into?"
"A huge chamber, of unknown design, but one that we are fairly sure is not a natural phenomenon."
"With a pedestal on the far end that we want to see up close."
"You read your mission report?" Sam looked up, impressed.
"Of course, Carter, what do you take me for?" Jack looked righteously offended.
"Sorry, sir. Uh, aren't you going to get something to eat?"
"I will if you will. What do you want?"
Jack ended up getting them each a bagel and some fruit while he got himself a coffee to offset the lack of sleep from last night.
Their conversation continued to be very professional, very cautious, but Jack felt a small warmth that hadn't been there before last night, and allowed himself to hope.
Unfortunately, the mission had very nearly ended in disaster. First, Carter had keeled over from the radiation and he had barely gotten back through the Gate, Sam flung over his shoulders, before he had collapsed himself.
And then Daniel. He'd disappeared before their eyes just before the radiation had spiked.
This last week had been an emotional one for all of them, as they went through the process of figuring out that Daniel had been trapped in another phase of reality and then getting him back to their plane of existence. The team was wiped out and sorely in need of some time off.
But another mission had come up that Hammond wanted SG1 to check out right away, so after barely twelve hours of rest after recovering Daniel, the team was back at the foot of the ramp, adjusting their gear as the chevrons whirled and locked into place.
"Teal'C, you and I on point. Let's go."
This planet was cold, and wet, and grey, and matched their moods perfectly as they slogged along the muddy road towards a settlement of ragged humans to discuss an alliance. Daniel was reviewing his notes in his head and very distracted as result.
"Daniel! Which way?" Jack stood at a Y in the road, water dripping off the bill of his very sodden cap.
"Uhhh, let's see here..." Daniel was checking his data, "Left. No, no, right. Yeah. Right."
Jack gave him 'the look.' The team proceeded in silence another fifteen or twenty minutes when Daniel stopped suddenly, his face twisted in pain.
"Oww," he moaned.
"What's wrong, Daniel?" Sam ran up, always the mother hen when Daniel was concerned.
"Just a stitch in my side. Let's keep going, we're almost there."
But a few minutes later, Daniel stopped again, in even more pain.
"Something's wrong," he gasped.
"Can you proceed, Daniel Jackson?"
"I'm not sure. Aaggh! No." Daniel was ashen.
"Teal'C, get him back to the infirmary, carry him if you have to. Carter, let's go salvage what we can of this alliance meeting."
The four split in opposite directions, Carter glancing back over her shoulder as Teal'C and Daniel disappeared from her sight.
"Sir, I haven't got any of Daniel's notes. I think all we can do is say 'hi' and reschedule."
Jack sighed.
This had not been a good few months for SG1.
Back in the briefing room just a few hours later, Dr. Frasier was giving the frazzled team the news that Daniel had a classic case of appendicitis and would be in surgery within the hour.
"Okay then, people," Hammond concluded, "I guess you're all on some well-deserved down time until Dr. Jackson is back on his feet. We need to have one more meeting in the morning to finalize these reports, and after that I don't want to see any of you for five days. Dismissed."
It was late in the evening by then, so nobody was going anywhere until after the meeting the next morning.
Jack saw his opportunity.
"Carter," he called after her already fleeing form. "Wait up!"
Sam stopped and turned her attention on Jack with a quizzical, wary eye.
"How about some dinner?"
"I was thinking I might eat off base tonight, sir. I don't think I could face the cafeteria tonight."
"I was thinking the same- hey, c'mon, Carter, I'll treat."
She was silent, unsure, wanting more than anything to go but unwilling to be hurt again.
"Please?" His deep, intense gaze broke through her reserve.
"Okay, I guess we both need some good food. Do you want me to follow you?"
"I'll drive and drop you off. Your right on my way to work anyway- I'll pick you up from your house in the morning."
"Okay." She sounded tired, uncertain, and it tore at him.
He was going to fix this, whatever it took.
The drive to the restaurant was somewhat awkward, although Jack tried to fill it with whatever came to his mind. After they had settled in an out of the way booth and ordered, Jack decided to plow in.
"Uh, Sam, I know I've said it before, but I'm really sorry. Sorry I hurt you. I just want to say it again. Because... you've got to believe that I would never hurt you intentionally. Look, I'm an idiot. I hope, some day, you'll forgive me. I've thought how I would feel if you'd lied to me about an undercover mission, and I'd be mad too. I really hope, I need you to forgive me."
Jack was rambling nervously, drumming his fingers on the table and fidgeting.
Sam was quiet, not looking at him, finding the silverware very interesting.
"I have no right to be hurt. You're my commanding officer."
"We're friends too, aren't we?"
"Are we?"
"You betcha, yeah, I mean, as far as I'm concerned we're friends. Very, very close friends," he stressed earnestly.
"And you're hurt," he observed.
"Yes, sir, but not by the undercover mission. I'm a soldier, I can understand the need for secrecy. You did a great job, by the way, and I'm proud of you."
Her praise was like milk and honey to his emotionally hungry heart.
"Thanks, I love hearing you say that...but if that's not it, then what hurt you?"
Even as he asked it, a blinding realization hit his thick skull and suddenly he knew without a doubt what she was going to say. As hard as it would be to hear, it fanned the bright flames of hope that she felt more for him than he had previously guessed.
"I...I..." Sam looked trapped, knowing she was about to step outside the military boundaries that defined their relationship.
"Lara," she whispered, immediately mortified that she'd admitted it to him out loud.
"I'm sorry, sir." Sam couldn't look at him. "I know, sir, that it's totally inappropriate for me to be hurt by that. But....I am."
He was about to burst from the emotions roiling about inside his brain as he considered what to say next, how to let her know how glad he was that she had feelings for him, and how sorry he was that he'd failed her.
"Jack, tell me about Edora," Sam asked next, unexpectedly. She took a bite of the meal that had just been delivered to their table.
She was giving him a chance to redeem himself and he wasn't about to let go of it.
"It was like a dream," he started.
Whoops.
Boy, that didn't come out right, judging from the desolation he thought he saw in Sam's downturned eyes.
But she kept listening.
"It wasn't real. I thought I'd lost everything, so I let go of who I am- the Colonel, the CO, the soldier. It was the only way I knew how to cope with that big of a change without totally losing it. You have to understand, I thought it was a permanent change. And Lara, well, she cared about me when I had no one else."
"Did you love her?" Sam's voice was trembly as she picked at her steak.
"No. But I wanted to, and I knew she loved me. Sam, you need to know something, something I know we can't do anything about right now. But I want you to hear this. You're who I wanted to be there with me.
Sam, I thought about you every single day. I was using Lara to try and forget because I thought I'd never see you again. It was wrong of me to give up hope, and to use her to get through it. Please understand? Forgive me."
Sam was almost finished her meal, and she silently wiped her mouth on the napkin and looked up.
"I'm ready to go home. Thanks for dinner."
"Sam!"
"We shouldn't be talking about this, not here. I'd like you to take me home, please."
Jack heard something in her voice that made him suddenly understand that she wasn't rejecting his apology, and he became anxious to get back to her house.
He called for the bill.
As they left the restaurant Sam began talking about nothing, anything, as they got in the car and headed for her house.
Jack loved it.
It was as if they had rolled the clock back to before Edora and the easiness, the comfortableness, was back like nothing had happened. She told him several stories about her Dad that had happened while he was gone, as well as a couple stories about her brother's children and even her cat.
Even if she never said the words, he knew now she had forgiven him and he was unspeakably grateful to have her back.
She invited him in for coffee and he said yes before she'd finished asking.
Inside, he flopped onto her couch as she made the coffee, enjoying the feel of a piece of furniture he'd been afraid he'd never see again.
She soon joined him, handing him a steaming fragrant mug.
"So friends again?" Jack asked uncertainly as she sat down next to him.
"Friends. Yup. Did you really think about me every day?"
She was smiling a bit mischievously.
"Yeah. I really did."
He cleared his throat looking a bit uncomfortable as they tentatively ventured into forbidden territory.
"You know I thought about you too, all the time, sir. I cried on Janet's shoulder about it one afternoon. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it."
Sam was giving him a beguiling, vulnerable look that made him want to- maybe he shouldn't go there.
"I'm glad you chose to come back, Colonel. You could have stayed, but you didn't."
"I couldn't have stayed, you're wrong about that. You found a way to get me home, you gave me the choice I thought I'd lost, and that's all I ever wanted."
Jack was staring at her with such intensity she dropped her gaze.
He seemed to suddenly also realize that they were on thin ice.
"I should go. I enjoyed dinner, thanks for eating with me. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 0730, is that okay?"
"Sounds great, I'll be ready."
"Good night, Carter," he said gently. "Thanks."
"Good night, sir."
The next morning Jack could hardly concentrate during the briefing. Not that that was unusual, but he couldn't stop thinking about Sam. After leaving her house the night before, he'd done a lot of thinking, and wishing.
He was smitten, lost, over the edge.
A plan was formulating in his mind as he fooled himself into thinking maybe they could go fishing together, after all, they were friends, right?
Just two colleagues, friends, if you will, fishing and relaxing together.
That was all.
Really.
It would be fun, right?
Okay, now just to get up his nerve and ask.
He'd asked.
In her lab.
She'd said no.
He was disappointed, but hey, after the progress he'd made with Sam in the last day or so, he couldn't feel too bad. Maybe next time...
"Uhhh, sir?"
He turned around in the corridor, his heart beating faster, a grin trying not to erupt on his face, his eyes lighting up with hope.
She looked like a woman balanced on the edge of a fence and who was teetering like mad back and forth. She was staring at him with such longing he almost threw her over his shoulder and ran off with her right then and there.
"Aaaah. Ummm. Have a good time, sir."
Oh yeah. She was about to cave!
"Land of sky blue waters, Yah, sure, you betcha, snookums.."
FLASH!
Colonel O'Neill disappeared in a burst of light.
Sam's eyes flew wide as she hit the alarm.
Just once, couldn't they have a break?
A/N: I know this story line has been done a lot, but 'Hundred Days' made me scream when I first saw it and I've been dying to fill in the missing links between the painful ending of that show and the sweet beginning of 'Nemesis', where Jack gets beamed up by Thor as he's asking Sam to go fishing!
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Revvie
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