StarStruck
StarStruck
by QueenOfSheba
Summary: Just some fun with more doubles. What if Sam met her maker? (In a way) That's right, the very person who made her the Carter we know -dun dun dun!- Ms Amanda Tapping! *gasp*
Category: Humor
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: FAM
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 01/22/06
Disclaimer: I didn't make 'em, they're not mine, but I am borrowing them for my own fun. Oh.. and also I've never met Amanda Tapping before but it'd be SO AWESOME if I had. I hope no one minds that I also put her in my fic. Like I said - just havin' some fun. Hope u like! BTW - this is my first try at humor so feedback is necessary for survival, otherwise I'll think it might be better dead. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated too!
StarStruck
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Sam, hey. Hey open your eyes slowly ok. You're in the infirmary." Janet said soothingly. "You were just unconscious but it appears to be nothing serious."
The woman groaned and slowly pulled the light covers up to her shoulders, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Hrmmm?" [Ok. This SO does not feel like I'm in my trailer!] "Teryl?"
"Who's Teryl?"
With that, the woman's eyes flew open and she immediately shot up in bed. "Urm. Ok. This looks familiar but... NOT"
"Is everything ok? One of the nurses found you knocked out in your lab early this morning. I thought you'd gone home last night." (pause) "Who's Teryl?" she asked again.
Wide awake now, the woman gave Janet an incredulous look. "You're messin' with me right?" - Ooh, the guys would get it. Although, what the point of this joke was, she had no idea.
"MESSING with you? I- I'm sorry?" REALLY not knowing what she was talking about.
She slowly glanced around the infirmary taking in her surroundings. No lighting, no cameras or equipment, nothing that indicated that she was really on the set - except that it looked JUST LIKE the set - but REAL. She made a funny face as her confusion started to set in deeper. [Ok no way. Don't tell me they went through all this trouble to change the place around and even bring in Teryl to play along. Somewhere Ashton Kutcher was hiding out, watching this whole scene, waiting for my reactions and ready to jump out and say that I've been punked.]
*****
Sam stepped out of the elevator on the level to the infirmary. Well rested and eager to get back to the reports, she still couldn't go straight to her lab without first greeting Janet.
*****
"Sam? What's wrong?" Janet asked firmly, all but demanding a response.
She was torn between playing along with it or bursting out laughing ['haha ok how'd you guys manage to get me on the set withoug waking me? Great set up. Really.'] - but seeing as it was difficult to laugh at the seriousness of Janet's tone, all Amanda could manage was an awkward half smile. "You're SERIOUSLY calling me Sam?"
"What else would I call you silly?"
"Right, urm. Just to refresh my memory. What exactly happened?"
"Well, I was hoping you could tell me?"
"Morning Janet!" Sam chirped as she walked into the infirmary, coffee in hand. Shocked, Janet turned back and forth from the woman at the doorway, obviously the Real Sam, to the woman on the gurney, who looked Exactly like her.
Sam was just as shocked as Janet- resulting in a scalded hand as she spilled her coffee. "Shhhiit" she hissed, slamming the mug down and cradling her hand. Janet immediately ran to her, grabbed her hands and shoved them under cold running water to ease the burning. The whole time, Amanda's eyes just grew wide with amazement.
"Oh my God." the three women said in unison, although one with slightly more excitement in her voice.
Sam gingerly patted her hand dry and turned to face the other woman again. [Another alternate universe I suppose.] She sighed. After her encounter with her double, she wasn't sure she could deal with another one. Not with the internal battle she was forced to come face to face with. Ya know - the one what involves HIM, who she couldn't have, but all the other versions of her were allowed to - because, Fate seemed to LOVE torturing her, specifically just in THIS reality, dangling her deepest desires in her face chanting 'na na na na naaa naa. youuu caaaaan't have him!' It left a bitter taste of bile in the back of her mouth - mixture of jealousy, a little pain and but mostly just irritation.
"I know what you're probably thinking.. and I'm sooo not from an alternate reality!" The other Sam started talking really fast. "See.. I'm dreaming! Yup! I work too hard and Stargate's invading my dreams again! Hilarious! And yet just a taaad bit ANNOYING!"
"Excuse me!" Sam tried to gain control of the situation, and hopefully direct it to a path where they could figure out what exactly was going on and how to solve the problem. "First of all, how'd you guess I was thinking of an alternate reality? Wait, no. Stupid question obviously since there's two of us. Ok. How bout you start telling us about yourself first, how you ended up here, and then we'll figure this out together from there."
*****
Jack, Daniel and Teal'c walked into the briefing room a few minutes early finding Sam already sitting there waiting.
"Mornin' Carter!" Jack said cheerfully. He sat down on the chair next to the General's and diagonally across from hers.
"Morning Sam." Daniel sat next to Jack.
"Good morning Major Carter." Teal'c bowed his head and took the seat on the other side of Daniel so that all three men were lined up on the opposite side from her.
"Morning Teal'c, Daniel." She turned to Jack and gave him a sultry smile. "Jack, " and then winked at him with a devilish spark in her eyes." She bowed her head slightly to hide the smile that was incredibly hard to suppress. Jack also didn't miss the fact that her tongue was softly lining her lips, back and forth, back and forth in slow delicious movements, tracing her smile.
Teal'c tilted his head to the side as if to examine her, Daniel and Jack both just stared at her in shock.
Jack wasn't sure whether to correct her or to let it slip. [O.. K. That was a bit too daring and ..flat out OBVIOUS to let it slip. Normally I should be flattered but ]- "Ex.. cuuse me? MAJOR?" emphasizing her rank, and effectively slamming an giant imaginary regs book with a thunderous boom down on the briefing table.
"Just kidding." she said while making direct eye contact before fiddling with the pen in her hand. She had to turn her gaze away for some sort of distraction to avoid bursting out laughing. She was already disrespectful enough as 'Carter' and to flat out laugh in her superior's face after that kind of greeting would be pushing the envelope. Scratch that - ripping the envelope in half.. Oh but their faces were so comical. To say the three men were stunned was an understatement. [Ok, hand over mouth, head down, think of something NOT funny- A serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard met on a neutral planet. There's a tense moment.... And.. one of them gets a runny nose..?.]
"Saam?" Daniel began cautiously.
"This is quite a bit different from the previous situations we've dealt with before General." the REAL Major Carter entered the briefing room from the General's office. They both noticed their early arrivals as she stopped talking.
"Well, Ms. Tapping, I'm assuming you won't need us to introduce these men?"
"Oh we were just getting acquainted, Sir." She managed to say with with perfect respect and professionalism and nodded towards the boys. She quickly did a 'once over' at Jack.
"Um.. hello? General, I think we," tilting his head towards Daniel and Teal'c, "still need an intro here." Jack watched carefully as the real Sam sat down between the General and her 'twin' carefully trying to guage whether or not she'd seen the flirty looks the other had passed his way just seconds before. She didn't seem to have noticed. [Phew.]
"Is it just me or is this alternate reality thing getting a little bit.. I dunno..cliche?" Daniel thought outloud.
"Excuse me, I happen to like the alternate reality story lines!." Amanda stated while feigning hurt.
"Story lines?" Jack repeated.
"Um..err. Maybe you should do most of the explaining first." Sam nooded to her double.
"Oh. Right. Ok.. well.. first of all my name's Amanda. Amanda Tapping. And I'm an actress."
"Weeird." Daniel said trying to imagine Sam on the tube.
"Fun actually!" she smiled genuinely. "What's WEIRD is that I happen to PLAY Major Samantha Carter on a SciFi TV series. "
"Oh! Oh! lemme guess! Wormhole X-TREME right?" Jack added, hoping this was another rare occasion in which he gott something right, and emphasising the 'X'. Amanda started laughing wholeheartedly which of course he found adorable - and then slightly uncomfortable.
"No. Although, there was an episode about that. With Marty and all. Yeah that was fun! Peter was in it and he played the direc- "
"Whoa. Ms...uh..Tapping? How the hell would you know about that?" Jack's tone had suddenly turned very serious at the mention of classified information and his gaze bore on her.
Sir," Sam said, removing his glare away from her counterpart. "The fascinating thing about this is, as she said, she's part of a television serious and from what she's told me of it so far, the events on her show seem to paralle our own reality, down to every detail."
"Is that not what we seem to be faced with yet again Major Carter? Are similarities not to be expected?"
[Aww Mr. Obvious as always, Teal'c.] Amanda smiled inwardly.
"Well, we were going to get to that. I'm not quite sure that's what we're dealing with Teal'c. You see, in all the realities we've encountered before, even those we've viewed only through the mirror as we searched for the right one that Dr. Samantha Carter was originally from, they were all basically similar in a sense that they all centered around the entire Stargate Program."
"Well, unless anyone else on earth could possibly get a hold of a quantum mirror without having to travel to other worlds, I would say that was a given."
"Exactly Daniel but... not HER reality. In her reality, we're nothing but a television program. If a stargate did exist in there and they too had obtained a mirror, then any encounters we'd have would be with that of the SG team from her reality, which of course would be completely different people entirely -"
"Unless I had become a scientist like my parents wanted me to." Amanda mumbled almost incoherently.
"and within the secrecy of their Stargate program -"
"And that was one of those fork in the road situations where I could be an intergalactic superhero now -" she kept mumbling.
"There's no way we could've made any connections to a group of civilians from -
"Canada!" Amanda piped in happily.
"So, then if this isn't exactly one of those alternate reality things, where exactly did *YOU* come from Ms. Tapping? And Canada is not the right answer I'm looking for" Already Jack was losing his initial amusement.
Amanda held up her hands and shook her head shrugging. "Pleasantville? I don't know. Some old guy in a truck gave me a weird remote and I somehow got sucked into the tv! Honestly, how am I supposed to know?"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. (you don't really think you can have a fic w/o having teal'c raise an eyebrow do ya?) "Perhaps the old man in which you speak of will be able to to make right the situation."
"Aw fer cryin' out loud T! I was kiddin'. It's a from a movie!" (pause) "Sorry, I mean, I'm just as confused as all of you that's all." They all continued to stare at her. "What? (pause) Ohhhh I picked that up from Rick."
"Rick would be...?"
"Richard Dean Anderson.. he plays you Jack. Or, should I be calling you Sir? Would you prefer Sir coz ya know, I can totally understand how calling you Jack might be awkward what with the whole.." she thought about finding more careful words, "awkward-ness...thing." (pause) "That wasn't very smooth was it?" she mumbled to Daniel. He tried to hide a smirk knowing exactly what she was talking about.
Jack almost looked embarrassed. Sam pretended not to know what she was referring to and the General directed a disapproving look back and forth between the two indicating that he Better Not Know what she was suggesting. Even though he sorta already did. Teal'c, on the other hand, didn't change his expression, although secretly he was making a mental note of his observations.
* * * * *
"So.. I'm curious about a lot of things." Daniel, Janet and Sam, and Amanda sat at a corner table in the infirmary together. Jack was with Teal'c in one of the fitness rooms trying to have one of their sparring matches. "Mainly what exactly are the differences between our two realities. It's weird how we're a TV show. I mean.. people really watch this stuff?"
"Yup. The fans are so wonderful, so loyal. And for me, I guess what I personally love about it is that it's just different from all the other sci-fi shows out there. I get to play a really strong character and not some sex kitten for the ratings. Plus not to mention the cast. Me being the only female on the team in the constant company of 3 hotties, I have a blast." she smiled.
Sam let out a soft snort.
"You don't think I'm hot?" Daniel asked Sam, completely serious.
"Wha - I - oh I'm not answering that Daniel!"
The other three shared a smile. "And stop thinking about who you're thinking about. Because whoever it is you're thinking about you're wrong. Not that I don't find him attractive but.. you - you're wrong! Ok? so..let's just - we shouldn't even be talking about this."
"Whoa. What's with the defense mode Sam? I was just getting ready to ask Amanda here another question that's all."
"Let's keep the topic on her then shall we?" Then, correcting her harsh tone, "If you don't mind of course?"
"Oh no not at all, I'd be glad to answer questions."
"Well, Sam, seeing as she is YOU in a sense, or her character, I mean every question I ask her would be connected to you.."
She gave him a dirty look. "Just kidding. Ok urm.. I'll avoid that then." (long ... long pause) "So, you were saying about her character, yeah, I like that she doesn't have to be a sex-kitten, and she's all ya know ... AIRFORCE!" He stressed that last part with a little bit of intensity, eyes bludging out just a tad, hand motions and everything. "Yeah..coz, coz.. I can see how..how um.. uuhhh ." For a moment his mouth kept moving, expecting some intelligent words to come out. "I-I can't think of anything, Doc your question? Input?"
***** (rec room)
"You seem quite disturbed Colonel O'Neill. Has the arrival of this Amanda Tapping made you uneasy?"
Jack thought back to the looks she'd given him in the briefing room. She had a certain brightness in her eyes that when he caught it in Sam, had a tendency to *nag* at his thoughts. - Like the way her eyes lit up when she found a new alien toy to play with, or when she was struck with one of her MANY brilliant ideas, or when she was explaining her new toys and brillant ideas dispite the fact that she knew no one understood. Having this Amanda person smiling so warmly, so natural and outright adorable seemed to make every single observation he'd made of Carter suddenly flash into his mind like neon lights. All the little things that he wasn't supposed to have taken such careful notice of.
He brushed it aside and continued to move his feet side to side. Fists up to his face in a position ready to jab and punch. [Hockey, Homer Simpson, sloppy fish flopping around on the dock at my pond. Doesn't matter if they're not really there. They'd be damn strong floppers if they were! Hockey, Homer, Fish]- he kept repeating. [I wonder if Sam would ever let herself laugh that hard on base? She blushes more when she tries to supress it - so.. do I like the blushing better or the laughing? Hoc-]
THWAP! .. BOOM! . . . . . . THUD!
"UGGHH HOMER!!" He keeled over in pain craddling his head in his hands.
"I am sorry O'Neill."
"Aggh!! Fer the love of - Mother-($@c&#R)!"
"Do you need assistance in getting up?"
"Hmmph... " High pitched squeeling tone, "Nooooooooo."
"You appear to be in need of assistance. I will request for a medical team."
* * * * *
(back at the infirmary)
"This is so frustrating. I don't even know where to begin at how to come up with a solution to this. I can't even guess as to how or why this whole thing started."
"Hrm.. What about my first theory? Maybe *I'm* dreaming."
"Cha, I'm the one feelin' burns here," she waved her lightly bandaged palm.
"That still stings?"
"I've had worse."
"I've.... done my own stunts...?" [Yeah stupid, like that even stacks up.]
[Ok so maybe this me is really easy to like too. Damn. Welp, at least she doesn't seem to have any interests in Jack, err, O'Neil. The Colonel, I meant.] Sam shook her head to get rid of her thoughts.
Just at that moment the girls' conversation was interrupted as Jack was helped into the infirmary by a male nurse. Dr. Fraiser was right behind them with her little emergency kit and Teal'c followed suit.
"What happened to him?" Sam asked.
[Ooohh sweet embarrassment.] Jack groaned. He sat on the gurney next to them and leaned his throbbing head back onto the pillow, icepack over one eye, other icepack over his jaw nearly covering her entire face.
"He was injured." Teal'c simply stated.
The girls looked at him, looked at each other, and both grimaced imagining his pain.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Ok so this is where I finished off so far. lemme know watcha think and if you have any suggestions bout what to add or where to go from here...
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