Three More Months
Three More Months
by purplepenguin1013
Summary: It was going to be a long three months. Another installment in a continuing chronicle of Sam's pregnancy. Be sure to read the previous chapters, starting with Eight More Months.
Category: Humor
Season: any Season
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: GEN
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-03-11
Cling
Jump
Cling
Kick
Cling
Nothing
"Hey, she stopped." Jack pouted, looking up at his wife from his position with his head in what was left of her rapidly receding lap, as though it was her fault that someone else had apparently gotten bored of their little game.
Sam turned the page of the paperback she was reading, only to realize she hadn't actually absorbed anything on the previous page, thanks to Jack's new-found obsession.
"Maybe he realized that flailing at you every time you make that annoying sound isn't getting across the message that he wants you to stop. So now he's feigning sleep in the hope that you will go away."
Cling
Kick
"That's my girl!"
Damn.
Two Saturdays previous, Sam had made the startling discovery that every time Jack flicked his finger against the side of an empty aluminum can, the baby inside Sam would move.
Two Saturdays previous, Sam had made the error of telling Jack about said discovery.
It was an amateur mistake, really, something you learned the first day in "Dealing with Jack O'Neill 101": Letting Jack know that one of his rudimentary quirks or fidgets had a decided impact on another human being was a surefire way to guarantee the behavior would perpetuate. However, in her astonishment at the reaction her baby had every time her husband's finger created a satisfying dent in the side of her Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, she had slipped up and let him know what was happening.
And for the last two weeks, Sam was fairly certain they had been single-handedly supporting the canned soda industry due to the sheer volume Jack had purchased in order to continue his little game.
If Sam wasn't already sure she was completely mad, this would have driven her over the edge.
Cling
"That's good sweetie, that right hook'll keep `em all away."
Jack continued mumbling towards Sam's protruding belly, praising his unborn daughter's innate fighting spirit. He had decided this week it was going to be a girl. The ultrasound still had not revealed the truth.
Sam just chose to refer to the baby by which ever gender Jack was not currently using.
Cling
At least General Hammond had forbidden the game to be played on base. After the first week when various airmen and other base personnel had started reporting to the infirmary with a ringing in their ears, aluminum cans had not been allowed within a thirty foot radius of Major Samantha Carter at any time.
Before that she had spent her time hiding not only from her husband, but also from Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, both of whom were intrigued by the exercise. Thankfully the weekend following General Hammond's ban, both Daniel and Teal'c also decided they no longer wanted to play the game.
The two had joined Sam and Jack at their home that Saturday for an afternoon barbeque. Unbeknownst to Sam, the other three had purchased a plethora of supplies to spend the entire afternoon playing with the baby/torturing Sam.
Caught up in the excitement, Daniel had failed to notice that Jack kept pushing off the responsibility of actually drinking the beverages to Daniel. No, they couldn't just dump the liquid and use the cans; there were starving people on P4X-281 who would give anything to have those provisions, after all.
So Daniel proceeded to consume artificially sweetened beverage after artificially sweetened beverage, his behavior becoming more child-like and erratic with each swig of caffeine and sugar-substitute. Before long he had grown bored of eating and drinking and "the game" and was instead running around the house, instructing Sam and Jack on exactly what needed to be done in order to finish baby proofing their home.
"SamandJackyoubettergetthosethingsthatkeepthecabinetsclosedfortheseonesandouch!hahahahahayoushouldgetsomethingforthecornerorthistablehereitssharpandhaveyouguys thoughtaboutthestairsinyourfoyeronelittleslipthere..."
He amused himself for a good quarter of an hour. Observing him was actually more helpful then listening to him, as every time he ran too fast and slammed into some wall or piece of furniture it gave Sam a better idea of what needed to be moved or changed.
However, after circling the house a few times, the immediate controlled substance high began to wear off. As Daniel slowed down, the combination of food, drink, and exertion swiftly caught up with him. He stopped next to Teal'c, his reddened cheeks paling to a sickly green.
Before anyone could react, Daniel proceeded to empty the contents of his very full stomach across the front of one very large, soon-to-be-seriously-aggravated, Jaffa.
After that neither Daniel nor Teal'c found themselves willing to touch a can of soda, thus discontinuing their participation in the game. In Sam's opinion, the punishment fit the crime. She had entertained the idea of toying with the two. A few strategically placed soda cans and spills about the base, in Daniel's lab, around Teal'c's candles...
Ultimately, she had decided that it wouldn't be worth the effort. Still, it frustrated her the way all three men had lost sight of the fact that their new-found entertainment had involved an activity that irritated her considerably.
Maybe she could convince the General that they all needed to attend some sort of sensitivity training...
"What are you laughing about?"
She shook her head, attempting to dislodge the mental image of Teal'c holding hands with Daniel and Jack, tears streaming down all three faces as they shared their innermost feelings.
"Fine, don't tell me."
Cling
She wondered if she could still maneuver her bike this far along.
Cling
It was going to be a long three months.
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