Intruder Alert
Intruder Alert
by Pepper
Summary: Sam finds something unexpected.
Category: Humor, Romance
Holiday: Valentine
Season: Season 1
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: FAM
Warnings: none
Author's Notes: Simpson's references abound.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 08/17/06
It was strange. It was odd. It was out of place. It was unexpected. It was... in the middle of her bench.
Captain Sam Carter stared at the intruder, her first feeling one of surprise. She reached out a finger to touch it. It fell over.
Hmm.
Gingerly, as though she should be wearing protective goggles, gloves, and one of those suits that made her look like a blimp, she reached out and picked up the item that had appeared - somehow - on her bench. Instinctively, her scientific mind started to categorize it. Brightly-colored, glossy - it didn't look very advanced. If anything it was distinctly old-fashioned. More Daniel's area of expertise than her own, perhaps. The glyphs on the front were easy to decipher, however, requiring none of Doctor Jackson's professional expertise. She read aloud:
"'I Choo-Choo-Choose You'?"
Underneath was a picture of a train. Her second feeling was 'awww'. It was the sort of card she'd used to exchange when she was a kid, before puberty and hormones and car accidents and Air Force Academy... Way back when she was young and innocent.
Double hmm.
She opened up the card. Inside, there was a picture of a yellow person whom she recognized as being a character from the Simpson's - but she didn't know the name. He was waving one four-fingered yellow hand and smiling cheerfully and idiotically. There was a message, carefully printed in capital letters so as to remain anonymous.
"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO THE SGC'S OWN LISA SIMPSON."
Huh?
Her third impression (after 'surprise' and 'awww') was 'tacky'.
Daniel, when he wandered in a few hours later, spotted the card almost instantly. "Aha! Secret admirer?"
Sam glanced up from her microscope. "Oh, hey Daniel. Yeah, anonymous, too - cliched or what?" Daniel read the brief message inside the card, and a frown crossed his forehead, followed by a smirk. Sam watched him. "You know who it is?"
Daniel looked up, innocently. "Me? No. No, I don't know who sent it. I bet it was on your desk when you came in, right?"
"Yeah, I popped out to grab a coffee, and when I came back..." She narrowed her eyes. He looked a bit too innocent. "Come on," she demanded. "'Fess up. Who is it?"
"Honestly, Sam, I don't know. It could be any one of your vast fan club."
Sam chuckled. "Yeah, right," she said, cynically. Daniel kept insisted that half the SGC was in love with her. It was his way of teasing her - much like her brother used to do.
"No, really! Hey, maybe it's Simmons?"
Sam grimaced. "Geez, I hope not." She really, really didn't want to encourage the youthful Lieutenant by keeping the card on display. "Should I chuck it?" She'd found herself strangely reluctant to throw the card away, despite its tackiness and despite her low opinion of all things Valentine. That could be because it was the only one she'd got this year, of course.
"Chuck what?"
She glanced up. The Colonel was doing his daily we're-on-Earth-so-I'll-drop-by-and-see-what-Carter-has-that-I-can-play-with-and-maybe-break visit, apparently. "Oh, I got a Valentine's card," she chuckled. "Very... tacky. Simpson's, of all things. I mean, who'd send me a Simpson's Valentine's card?"
Daniel and the Colonel shared a glance. "Think yourself lucky," grumbled the Colonel. "I didn't get any."
"Oh, men don't get Valentine's cards," she dismissed, instantly. "And they don't care when they do get them. Men just aren't interested in that sort of thing." Something she'd experienced with Jonas on more than one occasion - he'd been completely dismissive of every romantic moment she'd tried to engineer with him.
Both Daniel and the Colonel, though, looked put out. "That's so not true!" exclaimed Daniel. "I remember when Sha're-" he broke off abruptly. "I mean - some men aren't - I wasn't... I've got a thing I have to do - I'll see you both later."
"Daniel-" But he had fled, ignoring her when she called after him. She looked at the Colonel, wincing. "Damn. I didn't mean to... Poor Daniel."
The Colonel shrugged. "Yeah," he said, looking at his boots.
"D'you think I should go after him?"
"Nah. He probably just wants to be left alone at the moment." There was silence for a moment, and he wandered forwards and picked up her card, reading it. "I see what you mean about tacky," was his conclusion. Bizarrely, she felt the urge to defend her lone card.
"I think it's kinda sweet."
The Colonel looked up, his expression inscrutable. "Sweet?" He sounded incredulous.
"Well, it's... cute."
"Cute? Huh." He put the card down carefully.
"The only thing I don't get is what they mean by 'the SGC's own Lisa Simpson'," she said, thoughtfully. "I've never really watched the show."
The Colonel looked sideways at her. "She's the brains of the operation," he explained, quietly. "A smart person in a stupid world. Meant for great things. Destined to be the first woman President or something. Her family don't quite get her, but they love her anyway."
"Oh..." She looked at the card. That explained it, then. That was... definitely kinda sweet. Thank goodness the Colonel knew stuff about the Simpson's, and could explain it to her. Sounded like he was a fan of the show, in fact.
She frowned. Hang on...
She looked up to where the Colonel had been. She looked down at the card. Up at her empty doorway. Down at the card again.
Oh.
Oh.
Well.
With a strange feeling of... of something-or-other, she went back to work. And never did get around to throwing the card away.
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