Easy Silence
Easy Silence
by Pepper
Summary: Jack isn't so great with the talking. But who needs words?
Category: Thoughts
Episode Related: 112 Fire and Water, 115 Cor-Ai, 120 Politics, 405 Divide and Conquer, 522 Revelations, 715 Chimera, 815 Citizen Joe, 818 Threads
Season: Future Season
Pairing: Team, none
Rating: FAM
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 06/22/06
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And I come to find a refuge in the / Easy silence that you make for me / It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me / And the peaceful quiet you create for me / And the way you keep the world at bay for me...
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Jack O'Neill wasn't too good at talking about 'emotional stuff'. No one would have called him quiet - if anything he tended to run off at the mouth - but rarely did he say anything simply when he could get in a sarcastic wisecrack instead.
"That effectively shuts us down, sir."
"Very effectively. It costs nearly a billion dollars just to turn the lights on around here."
"How about a bake sale? Yard sale? Garage?"
"This is what I look like when I'm not laughing, Colonel."
"Car wash?
When it came down to honest emotions, he never knew the right words to say. He made inappropriate jokes. He got... confused. On one occasion he really had stuck his fingers in his ears and hummed loudly. In extreme circumstances, he had a habit of shutting down the barriers.
"We're talking about Daniel!"
"What d'you want me to do? He's gone. We've got work to do."
Getting him to open up about his feelings was like prizing open a particularly recalcitrant oyster. It tended to involve near-death situations, drugs, extreme torture, complex machinery, or some combination thereof.
"I didn't leave... because I'd have rather died myself than lose Carter."
"Why?"
"Because I care about her... a lot more than I'm supposed to."
"You are not a zay'tarc."
Many had tried and failed. Bad guys had given up in their droves, despairing of ever getting Jack O'Neill to cower satisfactorily. Commanding officers had generally learned to tolerate his borderline insubordinate attitude. His ex-wife had given up the fight. His team still struggled on, against the odds.
"Jack, you've been seeing parts of the life of a barber in Indiana for seven years, and you never mentioned it?"
"Yeah, sure I did. I know I did."
"No. No, you didn't, sir."
"I didn't?"
And, although he loved each and every member of his team, he tended to steer clear of unnecessary discussion of their personal lives. He was there if they really, really needed him - of course he was - but if it wasn't absolutely essential to talk about it, then, by god, he gladly wouldn't. He preferred action any day.
"Carter, it's none of my business. I'm just happy that you're happy about something other than... quarks."
So it might come as a surprise to know that, at their worst moments, any member of his team would gladly turn to Jack for support.
Teal'c turned to him because they understood one another. They were closer than brothers - they knew the evil that men (or Jaffa) would do, for no better reason than 'following orders'. They had a mutual understanding, a comradeship, a desire to fight for the better world that their team-mates might one day create, but of which they didn't truly feel part.
"Teal'c spent many years serving the Goa'uld doing some damned distasteful things. Surely both of you must realize that this was bound to happen sooner or later?"
"General Hammond, I have spent a lot of years in the service of my country, and I have been ordered to do some damned distasteful things. I will not allow them to execute my friend."
Daniel turned to Jack because, well, Jack had always been there. He'd always come through, against the odds. Jack's was the face that Daniel invariably saw first when, yet again, he awoke in the infirmary. Over the years they'd known one another, Jack had earned Daniel's respect and absolute trust. In fact, Daniel was proud to feel that he'd earned Jack's respect and trust, too - despite their contrasting personalities and mutual antagonism, despite all the moments of thoughtlessness and deliberate provocation, despite all their arguments and irreconcilable differences of opinion... despite everything.
"Sha're is gone. Jack says we'll find her. If anyone can, he can."
And Sam? Sam went to him for his silence. She knew he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. She knew he felt uncomfortable when a moment got that little bit too intense. It was the fact that he cared enough to feel awkward, and to stick around despite that, that made her love him. It was the - truly feeble? deliberately silly? - attempts to cheer his friends up with offers of yo-yos, Jell-O, and games of ping-pong. It was his easy silence, when he gave up trying to find the right words, and went back to what he was best at. It was the way he hugged. It was his warm, solid presence, and the knowledge that he'd always, always be there when she - or any of them - needed him.
"C'mere."
So what if he didn't know what to say? It was how he didn't say it that mattered most of all.
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