Correct Application Of Pressure
Chapter 1
Even now, after ten years of working at the SGC, I remain in awe of the simple majesty that is the Stargate. As it spins into life before me, its inner circumference rotating effortlessly, the chevrons slowly locking into place, I am reminded of the countless journeys that I have made and the people that I have met along the way.
People like Colonel Daniel Jackson.
I glance to my left, seeing him watching the gate's activation, my own sense of undiminished wonder reflected in his eyes. He must sense my perusal of him because he briefly pulls his gaze away from the gate and stares at me, a soft smile gracing his lips.
"This just never gets old." The wonder in his eyes is now encapsulated in the sound of his voice.
"Chevron seven is locked." Sergeant Harriman's words echo around the concrete confinement of the gate room.
The wormhole connects, the plume of energised plasma erupting from its core before pulling back and forming the placid watery membrane of the event horizon.
"Colonel Jackson, your team are clear to go. Have a safe journey home." General Landry's voice booms across the loudspeaker.
"Thank you, General." Colonel Jackson comes to attention, snapping off a stiff salute toward the control room before nodding toward his team, who start making their way up the ramp.
Instead of joining them, he crosses the short distance to where I stand with the rest of my SG-1. He shakes hands with Mitchell and Teal'c thanking them for their assistance in getting his team safely home. He halts in front of Daniel, his blue eyes swiftly and professionally sizing up his alternate self. Seemingly satisfied with what he sees, his proffers his hand toward him and Daniel reciprocates.
"It's been interesting meeting you, Doctor Jackson."
"Likewise."
He pauses in front of me, the unconcealed relief that he will be returning home almost emanating from his body in tangible waves. For a moment he just stares at me, his eyes intense and unwavering, their blue depths a maelstrom of mixed emotions and unfulfilled dreams. The smile on his lips falters slightly before he fixes it back into place once more.
I'm probably the only one here that knows the reason behind that faltering smile. The only one that knows that he was thinking of his deceased wife and the life that they had shared so happily until fate tragically snatched her away from him.
"Words can't describe the debt of gratitude that I and my team owe you, Colonel Carter." His words are couched within the professional military decorum dictated by our ranks. "Your expertise and diligence has given us back our futures. Nothing that I or my team could say or do could ever repay that."
There is so much hidden between the lines. Things that only I can pick up upon. It makes me feel both profoundly proud and respectfully humble.
"It wasn't just me." I don't want to take the praise for an endeavour that wasn't entirely all my own doing. "If the Asgard hadn't provided us with the technological means for correcting the convergence, you would still be here."
"All the same, you were the one that figured it all out." He takes hold of my hand, cupping it between his. His eyes leave mine and shift back to Daniel. "Doctor Jackson, I hope you realise that you have a very special lady here. "
Daniel shifts awkwardly next to me, uncertain as to why the Colonel has directed his remark toward him and not toward the team as a whole.
"I can assure you, Colonel, that everyone on the team thinks very highly of Sam's technological and military expertise. She's pulled our butts out of the fire too many times for us to deny it and we'd never take it for granted. Trust me, we know she's a very special person."
"But what about you, Doctor Jackson?" The Colonel presses, his eyes intent and purposeful. "Do you know just how special Sam could be?"
Daniel's eyes dart from the Colonel to me and back again, as though looking for some hidden meaning behind the military officer's cryptic aside.
"I hope you and your team have a safe journey home, sir." I use the change of subject to break the uncomfortable moment between us.
The Colonel nods his head, releasing my hand and taking a step back. "Care to take a walk with me?" Deftly he pivots on his heel and heads toward the Stargate.
I hesitate briefly before following him, catching him up at the base of the ramp.
"What was that all about?" We step onto the ramp proper, the sound of his shoes and my boots clanking on the steel walkway underneath.
"Just sounding him out." He takes a couple more steps before coming to a halt and turning to face me. Behind him the rest of his team are entering the Stargate, the slurping sounds of their bodies crossing the event horizon a strange accompaniment to our conversation. "Giving him something to think about. A little insurance in case you bail out on our little promise."
I briefly wonder if I could wind up in a courts martial for striking a superior officer from an alternate reality.
"You had no right to do that. This is my life. My reality."
Although my words are muted due to the close proximity of my teammates, the Colonel nonetheless hears the admonishment within them. He closes his eyes briefly before reopening them.
"I'm sorry, Sam." Regret is etched in the lines of his face. "You're right, I shouldn't have done that, but I don't want you wasting another five years of your life getting around to telling him how you feel." He casts a look over my shoulder to where Daniel is still standing. "You deserve to be happy."
The annoyance that I know I should be feeling at his meddling doesn't materialise. In its place there is an understanding of just how frustrating it must be for him to watch Daniel and I make the same mistakes that he and Sam made during their first years together. It must be agonising watching us let our fears and anxieties hinder the development of our relationship when he has firsthand knowledge of how different it all could be.
It's important to me that he doesn't leave thinking that I am upset with him. In the few short days since we met I have found myself becoming fond of him. I don't want our last moments together to be tense ones.
"You must be looking forward to getting home. Getting to see your daughter again?"
"I am, Sam. You couldn't believe how much I've missed her." His tense posture eases. "When I thought I would never see her again..." His words trail off and he becomes lost in his own thoughts. For a brief moment the utter sadness that I witnessed in my lab returns, then it is gone, replaced once more by his professional decorum. "I can't thank you enough for finding a way to return me to her."
"Just give Amelie a big hug from me when you get home, that will be payment enough."
"I'll do that, Sam." A smile of genuine happiness crosses his lips making him look decidedly younger. He takes a pace forward, his arms going around my waist and pulling me against him in a tight embrace, oblivious of military protocol and the dumbfounded stares of those around us. "When she is older, I'll tell her all about you and how you managed to send her daddy back home."
He pulls back, one hand softly holding me at the waist, his eyes searching out mine, their blueness bright with gratitude. He runs an index finger tenderly across my jaw line."I see so much of my Sam in you." His voice catches slightly and he clears his throat . "I know you can do this, Sam. Just have the strength of your convictions." He places a soft kiss on my forehead before releasing me from his hold, moving away, turning on his heel and almost marching toward the event horizon and home.
"Colonel?" I call after him, stopping him before he can embark upon his journey through the gate. Before that last tangible link between us is broken forever.
He turns around unhurriedly to face me.
I bring myself to attention, my back straightening. Gradually I raise my right arm, crooking the elbow, raising my hand in a well practiced salute. Colonel Jackson hesitates and I see the muscles in his throat constrict as he swallows deeply. He takes a deep breath, bringing his body to attention and returning my mark of respect.
We hold the joint pose for a long moment, our eyes locked upon each other, saying our goodbyes through the medium of military discipline. Eventually Colonel Jackson drops his arm and I follow suit. He takes one final look at me before turning and stepping through the event horizon.
A few seconds later the wormhole disengages, shrouding the gate room in silence. I remain standing on the ramp, staring at the point of his departure, a feeling of loss slowly creeping through my body. I have to blink several times in order to wash away the unexpected tears that have formed in my eyes.
Vaguely I become aware of the sounds of mingled voices, as those present in the gate room begin to leave and head back to their workstations. The harsh metallic sound of the opening blast doors resonates around me, sending small vibrations through the steel ramp until I can feel the tremors in my legs.
I shake my head, my mind already shifting gear, mentally preparing the report regarding the convergence and its satisfactory resolution. Turning, I head back down the ramp, stepping off of its metal base onto the concrete floor and stop dead in my tracks.
Daniel, is watching me, a mixture of confusion and curiosity warring for control of his facial expression. Ocean blue eyes bore into mine, a riot of mixed emotions skimming across their troubled surface. I see something else skirting around the periphery, showing itself for the briefest of moments before disappearing again as it is once more brought under control.
Was that jealousy?
He holds my gaze for a moment longer, until it becomes so uncomfortable that I am forced to look away. When I look back, it is to see him striding out of the gate room.