****
“Can we go please, Daniel?”
All three of us have been ready to leave for Daniel’s beloved Eden Project for about half an hour. For some unknown reason he’s been rummaging around in his various bags for ages. Most of his clothes are now covering the floor, a pair of his underwear, clean, thank heavens, flew across the room and landed in Teal’c’s cereal, and all we’ve heard is the odd expletive. Half his torso is currently buried in his suitcase and his ass is stuck up in the air. He’s going to have to come up for oxygen soon.
“Found it!”
“Found what?”
“This. This is for you, Jack. And after what you did to Sam and me in the lake yesterday, you’re going to wear this all day. No arguments, no complaining, and definitely no grouchiness, or I’ll sic Teal’c on you.”
Carter’s gone to stand next to him. Oh, for crying out loud, Teal’c too. I get it; gang up on the poor unsuspecting colonel.
Daniel has what looks like another t-shirt in his hand. Oh, this could be bad.
“What does it say, Daniel?”
“Oh, nothing much, but I thought it was perfect for you, Jack.”
Yeah, yeah. It must be something pretty bad because Carter’s giggling and Teal’c’s raised his eyebrow and is looking smug.
“It’s okay, Sir, it’ll bring out the silver in your hair.”
Gee, thanks Carter. I feel so much better.
“I’m not wearing it, Daniel.”
“Jack, you threw us in the lake. You’re going to wear it.”
“Nope.”
“O’Neill, I believe it would be in your best interests to…”
“Okay, okay. What does it say, Daniel?”
He’s turning it round and holding it up.
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding! I’ve got to wear this all day?! A black t-shirt with, ‘I Belong in a Museum’ printed in big silver letters across the chest for all to see?
“No, Daniel.”
“Oh yes, Jack, and I’ll be wearing this.”
Oh God, he’s taking off his jacket to show me the shirt underneath. What does that say? ‘I’m an Archaeologist. Look what I found!’ with an arrow pointing to the right.
“I’ll just have to make sure I always stand on your left, Jack.”
“Hey, no fair, Daniel! I am so not that old! I’m not wearing it.”
“Yes, you are, Jack.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Teal’c?”
“Okay, okay, okay, I’ll wear the damn thing!”
This is so unfair!
“Thank you Jack. Now we can go.”
“Oh, go fish, Daniel!”
“Aht, that’s classed as grouchiness, Jack. Be careful. Hey, Sam, can you take a picture?”
“Absolutely. Come on, it’s a beautiful day. I’ll take it outside.”
“Okay. Say cheese, Jack!”
Oh, blah!
****
What?! What the hell did you just say? You want to see the picture? Well, okay, but you’d better be quick; I’m destroying it the first chance I get. And if you dare send a copy to Eve, I’ll track you down and zat you! Twice!
http://www.rdafanprojects.co.uk/Gofish.htm
****
“So, what’s this place again, Daniel?”
“It’s called the Eden Project, Jack. It’s about man's relationship with and dependence upon plants.”
I’d never admit this to Danny boy, but this place is pretty incredible. The two big glass ‘biomes’, I think Daniel called them, which house all the plants are really cool. They’re basically giant greenhouses.
Actually, you know that planet we gated to a few years ago - the one with the white, naked aliens? Well, you know the weird flora on that world that Plant Boy here was videotaping, and that grew and sank into the ground? Well, that’s exactly what these biomes look like from above. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, Google it. You’ll see! Even I thought the similarity was pretty ironic, what with this being all about how plants and people need each other to survive. However, unlike PJ2- 4, something, something, this place should be fun. As long as it doesn’t make Daniel do his little tigger impression or make me blurt out whatever inventive insult comes into my head, we’ll be fine.
“Ooh, Jack, look at this!”
Here we go. Cue the wide-eyed, bouncy, I’ll pee my pants if I don’t see everything right now, Dr Jackson. He’s just like a kid. Teal’c and I are just meandering slowly, quietly taking everything in, while Daniel races off to see something ‘incredible’, then runs over to something else that’s ‘amazing’, then runs back over to me – just to make sure I’m still here - and then something ‘unbelievable’ catches his watchful eye and he’s off again. He’ll be burning five times as many calories as we will.
“Colonel, look! This is remarkable! Daniel, over here!!”
Okay, make that two wide-eyed, bouncy, calorie burning kids. It’s just as well I thought ahead and brought snacks.
****
“Daniel, for crying out loud, sit down!”
“I’m not a child, Jack.”
“Really? Well, you’re sure acting like one, Daniel. It’s 13:30 hours – that means it’s lunchtime. Sit down, eat your sandwich, and I promise, the plants will still be there when you’re done.”
“But…”
“SIT!”
“Fine! Gimme.”
You know, this is the great thing about Carter being military. She pretty much does as she’s told first time out. Daniel, on the other hand… ah victory, he’s finally seated and now has his hands held out for his sandwich. Mmm, on second thought…
“Daniel, use a wet wipe to wash your hands before you eat. I hate to think how many weird things you’ve touched today.”
Okay, now he’s looking at me as if I’ve just asked him to stick his head in a deep fat fryer.
“You brought wet wipes, Jack?”
“Uh, yeah. Never leave home without ‘em.”
“You sure you just want me to wipe my hands? You don’t want to wipe my ass and change my diaper while we’re at it?”
“Oh, very funny, Daniel. I’m just looking out for your well-being, you know. I wouldn’t want you to catch any nasty bugs because you didn’t wash your hands, all right? Besides, we’re staying in an RV with very thin toilet walls. If you get an upset stomach, we’re all gonna suffer, so wipe!”
“Okay, okay. What’s in my sandwich anyway?”
“Your favourite. Honey roast ham with hot English mustard on wholegrain bread. I’ve even got you some chocolate walnut cookies for dessert.”
“Ooh, I’m all clean!”
Ah, there’s that face-splitting grin, and of course the used wet wipe that’s he’s thrown in my direction.
“Now, gimme!”
“What do you say, Daniel?”
“Thanks. Dad!”
“Hey! You little…”
****
“Much of our food, our clothes, our shelter and our medicines come from the plant world.”
We’ve joined an official tour for the afternoon. According to Daniel, the guidebook just didn’t give enough information, and you know Daniel; if he doesn’t absorb every scrap of knowledge there is to learn, he’ll combust. He’s also having a good old chuckle at me. At least six people from this little group have pointed at this damn t-shirt and laughed. Although, one woman did lean over, wink at me, and whisper, “A museum, huh? You’d be in the rare and priceless section.” I think I like her.
“Without plants there would be no oxygen for us to breathe, no life on earth. The Eden Project is a showcase for all the questions and many of the answers.”
I’d swear this tour guide was about fourteen years old, but she seems to really know her stuff. Daniel’s still zigzagging across the walkway, making sure he sees everything, but I can tell he’s hanging off every word she says.
“Eden houses more than 1,000,000 plants representing 5,000 species from many of the climatic zones of the world. Many of these can grow in the mild conditions here in Cornwall, others need greenhouses and that is where these two gigantic Biomes come in.”
“Excuse me. How big is this Biome?”
Wow, that’s Daniel’s first question and he’s managed to last…. Ooh, almost an hour before asking it. I’m impressed.
“This one, the Humid Tropics Biome, has an area of 15,590 square metres and is 55 metres high, 100 metres wide and 200 metres long. It is the biggest greenhouse in the world and is high enough to hold the Tower of London or eleven double-decker buses piled on top of one another.”
Woah.
“Are there any animals?”
Well, it was good while it lasted. Now it’ll just be question after question after question…
“Yes. In both the covered Biomes there are insects, butterflies, birds and some lizards. These function as biological controls for pests.”
“I have to say, it’s been designed incredibly well, and it’s a lot of fun.”
Is he flirting? He is. He’s flirting. He’s acting a bit like he did around Kera.
“Well, thank you. And yes, Eden is very entertaining, but its success also lies in the scientific integrity and talent, which underpins the whole Project. Eden is a charity, and all the money raised at Eden goes back into our mission to explain the relationship between people and plants.”
“Is it all finished?”
“No, and we hope it never will be. Obviously plants are constantly growing and changing with the seasons and Eden has expansion plans beyond the two covered Biomes, outdoor landscape and The Core.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of that. What is the core exactly?”
“The Core is Eden's new education centre, and it’s not just for students or scientists. The Core is open to everyone and contains a whole host of thought-provoking, enlightening exhibits. Actually, we even have trails that help you find your way around Eden. Children and adults can take part in the fun, interactive trails. You have to find the clues, and unravel the riddles…”
“Oh, Jack, can we go to the Core? Can we?”
I’m sorry, is it just me, or did Daniel say ‘I’m not a child, Jack,’ at lunch?
“Yeah, Sir, can we?”
I share a knowing look with Teal’c.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Thanks!”
“Hey! Just stay in sight of us, okay?!”
“’Kay!”
“So, Teal’c. Ever thought of having any more kids?”
“Indeed I have not, O’Neill. I believe that with Rya’c, along with Daniel Jackson, Major Carter, and yourself, I am being subjected to all the parenting I can withstand.”
I could have sworn I heard an insult in there somewhere.
****
“The next question says, ‘Do you think talking to plants helps them grow?’ What do you think, Sam?”
“Definitely, yes. I talk to mine.”
“Let’s check it out!”
Okay, where’s the video camera. This is going to be priceless!
“Um, hello... plant. My name is Daniel, and this is Sam. We’re peaceful explorers from the United States of America. Uh… you look handsome today. You have lovely leaves.”
“Um… yeah. Uh… we’re just visiting for the day and wanted to say ‘hi’.”
“Do you have a name? How about we give you a name? Teal’c, do you want to give him a name?”
“Are plants not without gender, Daniel Jackson? How do you know this plant is male?”
“Um… I don’t. But, he looks like a boy, don’t you think?”
“I think you are most disturbed, Daniel Jackson.”
Okay, even the science twins can’t keep a straight face with this anymore. They’ve broken down into giggles now.
“Jack, do you want to name him?”
“Uh… yeah… nice to meet ya. I’m Jack. I think I’ll call you… Seymour.”
“Seymour?”
“Yep. Little Shop of Horrors, Daniel? ‘Feed me Seymour’? Don’t tell me you’ve never seen it.”
“I’ve never seen it.”
“Geez! What did you do as a kid, Daniel? Right, we’re renting it the first chance we get.”
“Okay, the next question is…”
****
Wow, what a day! I am totally whipped. Seems I’m not the only one too. We decided to have something quick and easy for dinner, so we went for tomato soup. Carter has her eyes closed and is bent right over her bowl as if she just doesn’t have the energy to lift the spoon all the way up to her mouth. Daniel went one better and actually fell asleep after only a couple of mouthfuls. I just about managed to save him from taking a swan dive headfirst into his bowl. Right now, Teal’c’s Kelnoreem-ing, and I’m about ready to turn in.
“Daniel, wake up, Buddy.”
“Wha’?”
“It’s time to hit the hay.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Uh, Daniel, you might want to actually open your eyes just a bit while you’re walking.”
“Can’t. Too tired.”
“Right.”
“Where are we going tomorrow, Jack?”
“Not sure. Let’s just get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow; we’ll stick a pin in the map and head out. Okay?”
“’Kay.”
“Night, Sir.”
“Night, Carter.”
“Night, Daniel.”
“Night, Sam.”
“Okay, that’s enough with the Waltons impressions… and the sniggering, please.”
“I hope Seymour’s okay.”
“I’m sure he’s fine, Daniel.”
“Night, Jack.”
{sigh}
“Night, Daniel.”
The End... for now.
All three of us have been ready to leave for Daniel’s beloved Eden Project for about half an hour. For some unknown reason he’s been rummaging around in his various bags for ages. Most of his clothes are now covering the floor, a pair of his underwear, clean, thank heavens, flew across the room and landed in Teal’c’s cereal, and all we’ve heard is the odd expletive. Half his torso is currently buried in his suitcase and his ass is stuck up in the air. He’s going to have to come up for oxygen soon.
“Found it!”
“Found what?”
“This. This is for you, Jack. And after what you did to Sam and me in the lake yesterday, you’re going to wear this all day. No arguments, no complaining, and definitely no grouchiness, or I’ll sic Teal’c on you.”
Carter’s gone to stand next to him. Oh, for crying out loud, Teal’c too. I get it; gang up on the poor unsuspecting colonel.
Daniel has what looks like another t-shirt in his hand. Oh, this could be bad.
“What does it say, Daniel?”
“Oh, nothing much, but I thought it was perfect for you, Jack.”
Yeah, yeah. It must be something pretty bad because Carter’s giggling and Teal’c’s raised his eyebrow and is looking smug.
“It’s okay, Sir, it’ll bring out the silver in your hair.”
Gee, thanks Carter. I feel so much better.
“I’m not wearing it, Daniel.”
“Jack, you threw us in the lake. You’re going to wear it.”
“Nope.”
“O’Neill, I believe it would be in your best interests to…”
“Okay, okay. What does it say, Daniel?”
He’s turning it round and holding it up.
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding! I’ve got to wear this all day?! A black t-shirt with, ‘I Belong in a Museum’ printed in big silver letters across the chest for all to see?
“No, Daniel.”
“Oh yes, Jack, and I’ll be wearing this.”
Oh God, he’s taking off his jacket to show me the shirt underneath. What does that say? ‘I’m an Archaeologist. Look what I found!’ with an arrow pointing to the right.
“I’ll just have to make sure I always stand on your left, Jack.”
“Hey, no fair, Daniel! I am so not that old! I’m not wearing it.”
“Yes, you are, Jack.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Teal’c?”
“Okay, okay, okay, I’ll wear the damn thing!”
This is so unfair!
“Thank you Jack. Now we can go.”
“Oh, go fish, Daniel!”
“Aht, that’s classed as grouchiness, Jack. Be careful. Hey, Sam, can you take a picture?”
“Absolutely. Come on, it’s a beautiful day. I’ll take it outside.”
“Okay. Say cheese, Jack!”
Oh, blah!
****
What?! What the hell did you just say? You want to see the picture? Well, okay, but you’d better be quick; I’m destroying it the first chance I get. And if you dare send a copy to Eve, I’ll track you down and zat you! Twice!
http://www.rdafanprojects.co.uk/Gofish.htm
****
“So, what’s this place again, Daniel?”
“It’s called the Eden Project, Jack. It’s about man's relationship with and dependence upon plants.”
I’d never admit this to Danny boy, but this place is pretty incredible. The two big glass ‘biomes’, I think Daniel called them, which house all the plants are really cool. They’re basically giant greenhouses.
Actually, you know that planet we gated to a few years ago - the one with the white, naked aliens? Well, you know the weird flora on that world that Plant Boy here was videotaping, and that grew and sank into the ground? Well, that’s exactly what these biomes look like from above. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, Google it. You’ll see! Even I thought the similarity was pretty ironic, what with this being all about how plants and people need each other to survive. However, unlike PJ2- 4, something, something, this place should be fun. As long as it doesn’t make Daniel do his little tigger impression or make me blurt out whatever inventive insult comes into my head, we’ll be fine.
“Ooh, Jack, look at this!”
Here we go. Cue the wide-eyed, bouncy, I’ll pee my pants if I don’t see everything right now, Dr Jackson. He’s just like a kid. Teal’c and I are just meandering slowly, quietly taking everything in, while Daniel races off to see something ‘incredible’, then runs over to something else that’s ‘amazing’, then runs back over to me – just to make sure I’m still here - and then something ‘unbelievable’ catches his watchful eye and he’s off again. He’ll be burning five times as many calories as we will.
“Colonel, look! This is remarkable! Daniel, over here!!”
Okay, make that two wide-eyed, bouncy, calorie burning kids. It’s just as well I thought ahead and brought snacks.
****
“Daniel, for crying out loud, sit down!”
“I’m not a child, Jack.”
“Really? Well, you’re sure acting like one, Daniel. It’s 13:30 hours – that means it’s lunchtime. Sit down, eat your sandwich, and I promise, the plants will still be there when you’re done.”
“But…”
“SIT!”
“Fine! Gimme.”
You know, this is the great thing about Carter being military. She pretty much does as she’s told first time out. Daniel, on the other hand… ah victory, he’s finally seated and now has his hands held out for his sandwich. Mmm, on second thought…
“Daniel, use a wet wipe to wash your hands before you eat. I hate to think how many weird things you’ve touched today.”
Okay, now he’s looking at me as if I’ve just asked him to stick his head in a deep fat fryer.
“You brought wet wipes, Jack?”
“Uh, yeah. Never leave home without ‘em.”
“You sure you just want me to wipe my hands? You don’t want to wipe my ass and change my diaper while we’re at it?”
“Oh, very funny, Daniel. I’m just looking out for your well-being, you know. I wouldn’t want you to catch any nasty bugs because you didn’t wash your hands, all right? Besides, we’re staying in an RV with very thin toilet walls. If you get an upset stomach, we’re all gonna suffer, so wipe!”
“Okay, okay. What’s in my sandwich anyway?”
“Your favourite. Honey roast ham with hot English mustard on wholegrain bread. I’ve even got you some chocolate walnut cookies for dessert.”
“Ooh, I’m all clean!”
Ah, there’s that face-splitting grin, and of course the used wet wipe that’s he’s thrown in my direction.
“Now, gimme!”
“What do you say, Daniel?”
“Thanks. Dad!”
“Hey! You little…”
****
“Much of our food, our clothes, our shelter and our medicines come from the plant world.”
We’ve joined an official tour for the afternoon. According to Daniel, the guidebook just didn’t give enough information, and you know Daniel; if he doesn’t absorb every scrap of knowledge there is to learn, he’ll combust. He’s also having a good old chuckle at me. At least six people from this little group have pointed at this damn t-shirt and laughed. Although, one woman did lean over, wink at me, and whisper, “A museum, huh? You’d be in the rare and priceless section.” I think I like her.
“Without plants there would be no oxygen for us to breathe, no life on earth. The Eden Project is a showcase for all the questions and many of the answers.”
I’d swear this tour guide was about fourteen years old, but she seems to really know her stuff. Daniel’s still zigzagging across the walkway, making sure he sees everything, but I can tell he’s hanging off every word she says.
“Eden houses more than 1,000,000 plants representing 5,000 species from many of the climatic zones of the world. Many of these can grow in the mild conditions here in Cornwall, others need greenhouses and that is where these two gigantic Biomes come in.”
“Excuse me. How big is this Biome?”
Wow, that’s Daniel’s first question and he’s managed to last…. Ooh, almost an hour before asking it. I’m impressed.
“This one, the Humid Tropics Biome, has an area of 15,590 square metres and is 55 metres high, 100 metres wide and 200 metres long. It is the biggest greenhouse in the world and is high enough to hold the Tower of London or eleven double-decker buses piled on top of one another.”
Woah.
“Are there any animals?”
Well, it was good while it lasted. Now it’ll just be question after question after question…
“Yes. In both the covered Biomes there are insects, butterflies, birds and some lizards. These function as biological controls for pests.”
“I have to say, it’s been designed incredibly well, and it’s a lot of fun.”
Is he flirting? He is. He’s flirting. He’s acting a bit like he did around Kera.
“Well, thank you. And yes, Eden is very entertaining, but its success also lies in the scientific integrity and talent, which underpins the whole Project. Eden is a charity, and all the money raised at Eden goes back into our mission to explain the relationship between people and plants.”
“Is it all finished?”
“No, and we hope it never will be. Obviously plants are constantly growing and changing with the seasons and Eden has expansion plans beyond the two covered Biomes, outdoor landscape and The Core.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of that. What is the core exactly?”
“The Core is Eden's new education centre, and it’s not just for students or scientists. The Core is open to everyone and contains a whole host of thought-provoking, enlightening exhibits. Actually, we even have trails that help you find your way around Eden. Children and adults can take part in the fun, interactive trails. You have to find the clues, and unravel the riddles…”
“Oh, Jack, can we go to the Core? Can we?”
I’m sorry, is it just me, or did Daniel say ‘I’m not a child, Jack,’ at lunch?
“Yeah, Sir, can we?”
I share a knowing look with Teal’c.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Thanks!”
“Hey! Just stay in sight of us, okay?!”
“’Kay!”
“So, Teal’c. Ever thought of having any more kids?”
“Indeed I have not, O’Neill. I believe that with Rya’c, along with Daniel Jackson, Major Carter, and yourself, I am being subjected to all the parenting I can withstand.”
I could have sworn I heard an insult in there somewhere.
****
“The next question says, ‘Do you think talking to plants helps them grow?’ What do you think, Sam?”
“Definitely, yes. I talk to mine.”
“Let’s check it out!”
Okay, where’s the video camera. This is going to be priceless!
“Um, hello... plant. My name is Daniel, and this is Sam. We’re peaceful explorers from the United States of America. Uh… you look handsome today. You have lovely leaves.”
“Um… yeah. Uh… we’re just visiting for the day and wanted to say ‘hi’.”
“Do you have a name? How about we give you a name? Teal’c, do you want to give him a name?”
“Are plants not without gender, Daniel Jackson? How do you know this plant is male?”
“Um… I don’t. But, he looks like a boy, don’t you think?”
“I think you are most disturbed, Daniel Jackson.”
Okay, even the science twins can’t keep a straight face with this anymore. They’ve broken down into giggles now.
“Jack, do you want to name him?”
“Uh… yeah… nice to meet ya. I’m Jack. I think I’ll call you… Seymour.”
“Seymour?”
“Yep. Little Shop of Horrors, Daniel? ‘Feed me Seymour’? Don’t tell me you’ve never seen it.”
“I’ve never seen it.”
“Geez! What did you do as a kid, Daniel? Right, we’re renting it the first chance we get.”
“Okay, the next question is…”
****
Wow, what a day! I am totally whipped. Seems I’m not the only one too. We decided to have something quick and easy for dinner, so we went for tomato soup. Carter has her eyes closed and is bent right over her bowl as if she just doesn’t have the energy to lift the spoon all the way up to her mouth. Daniel went one better and actually fell asleep after only a couple of mouthfuls. I just about managed to save him from taking a swan dive headfirst into his bowl. Right now, Teal’c’s Kelnoreem-ing, and I’m about ready to turn in.
“Daniel, wake up, Buddy.”
“Wha’?”
“It’s time to hit the hay.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Uh, Daniel, you might want to actually open your eyes just a bit while you’re walking.”
“Can’t. Too tired.”
“Right.”
“Where are we going tomorrow, Jack?”
“Not sure. Let’s just get a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow; we’ll stick a pin in the map and head out. Okay?”
“’Kay.”
“Night, Sir.”
“Night, Carter.”
“Night, Daniel.”
“Night, Sam.”
“Okay, that’s enough with the Waltons impressions… and the sniggering, please.”
“I hope Seymour’s okay.”
“I’m sure he’s fine, Daniel.”
“Night, Jack.”
{sigh}
“Night, Daniel.”
The End... for now.