Chasing The Wind

Sam stood at the door watching all her ‘selves’ for the lack of a better word to describe this room filled with Samantha Carters of all ranks and branches of the military. Some weren’t even in the military. Last count she’d heard was that twenty four teams with a Samantha Carter made it through the gate into this reality that wasn’t their own. And not one of them had a Jack O’Neill of any rank or civilian designation. That made her wonder if Jack had made General on all the parallel universes represented here or if he’d actually achieved suicide in too many of them.

Sam was overjoyed to talk to Janet and Martouf’s team. She really missed them both and seeing them brought back such fond memories of both of them. Both had died in her reality. They would both always have a place in her heart, Martouf if for no other reason than Jolinar. It had been so long since……. It still hurt to think of her best friends dieing.

It still somehow seemed odd that they were alive, so she took a lot of time to talk to the Dr. Janet Frasier that had come through the gate. She was the only Janet through and from her chats with several other Sams it seemed that in all but four of the realities Janet had perished in the same way she had in hers. The other three were back home delivering Sam’s babies. Twins in all three realities. What would she do with twins and why wasn’t she one of the Sams having them now? What was different in her reality? In each of the realities Jack was the babies’ father.

So far Sam had only found one Sam that had actually married Pete Shanahan. It was the Sam that arrived with the first team through to this universe. The Jack of that reality had married a CIA agent that came to work at the SCG after Jack made General and Commander of the SGC. She would definitely check out Kerry Johnson when she returned to her SGC. That was if she ever made it back to her reality and to her husband. Right now she was afraid she might not see Jack again and she missed him terribly.

Her next targeted Sam was the one from this reality. She had watched her almost kiss Martouf. She wondered if there had been something between them here. She knew that Martouf and the Sam from his reality had been in a relationship, a rather long one from what he’d said.

Sam remembered well the feelings she’d had for him when the Jolinar thing first happened. It had been so hard to distinguish her own feelings from the sudden bombardment of another being’s emotions and thoughts. But even back then she’d begun to have strong feeling for her Jack. So it hadn’t taken her long to discern that the feelings of love for Martouf weren’t hers but another’s.

She wondered if this reality’s Sam was in a relationship of some sort with the Jack here. She wondered where Jack was in this reality. He was the commander of the SGC in hers. She would make it her business to find out. Daniel. She would start with Daniel it was most probable that he was Jack’s best friend here as well.

She found Daniel in his lab. “Hey, can I come in?” She hesitantly asked.

“Sure.” Daniel answered suddenly looking up at her voice. It took him a moment to realize that this was not his Sam. He watched her expressions. It was just too unreal. So many of each of the members of SG1 was running around this base that it had begun to wear on Daniel’s nerves. So he had retreated to his lab to work.

She slowly walked into the room looking all around. “It’s really strange being here,” she said, “your lab is exactly the same.” He watched her. She seemed anxious.

“I’m sure that all of the brains involved here will solve this and get you all back to your own universe.” Daniel offered. He knew his Sam would have been upset even though she’d never have shown it to be stranded away from her friends and family. He thought that was what he was seeing in this Sam’s eyes.

“Where’s Jack?” She suddenly burst out.

Maybe not. Maybe this Sam was upset to be away from ‘Jack?’

“Jack?” Daniel questioned. He wanted her to explain the use of the general’s first name. That was something his Sam wouldn’t do. Daniel wondered again what had happened to them in his reality. He had been sure they would be together by now, but they weren’t and Daniel hadn’t been able to find out why from either of them.

“You don’t have General Jack O’Neill in this reality?” Sam asked suddenly understanding why this Sam could have been so attracted to Martouf.

“Oh yeah, he’s here. But I’ve never heard you, uh…Sam use his name. She always addresses him by his title or uses his honorific.” Daniel raised his eyebrows slightly as if apologizing for the truth of this reality.

“She’s not with him here?” Sam asked.

“Uh..no…but I think you should discuss this with her.” Daniel replied.

“Is she with Pete or someone else?” Sam asked ignoring Daniel’s request.

“No.” Daniel watched her. “You’re trying to find out what made your reality different, aren’t you?” Daniel smiled at her. Just like Sam. Only his Sam was too busy trying to fix this problem to ask too many personal questions.

Sam tucked her head slightly sideways and watched Daniel’s expression. “Yes, I am. It just… well I just wondered how she could stand not being with him if it’s possible.”

“I take it you two are together in your universe?” Daniel inquired.

“Oh yes. We’re married. Have been for almost two years.” She smiled. “Jack is head of the SGC in my reality.” Her face changed and tears pierced her bright blue eyes. “He’s probably having fits right now with us not reporting back on time. I worry about all the stress he has in this job. So much is on his shoulders.” Sam dropped into one of the chairs in front of Daniel’s desk and brushed her tears across her cheeks. Daniel moved around the desk and pulled her shoulders into a slight hug leaning against his chest. He couldn’t stand to see Sam upset, not even one from another reality.

“And you’re not there to fix the problem, so he’s doubly worried.” Daniel said as tears slowly dripped from her eyes.

“No and he needs me, Daniel. He’s not the same without me.” Daniel smiled at her. He knew that for a fact, he just wished his Jack could admit that to his Sam.

“Hey, don’t cry. You know with all the Sams here working on this, you’ll get back. Right?” He thumbed away her tears.

“Do you think I could talk to your…is he a general here?” She asked.

“You want to talk to Jack?” He watched her pretty face wondering if she just wanted to hear his voice. “He is a general, but he’s the head of Home World Security here. He took that position after General Hammond retired.”

“He’s in DC?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why would he go there? Did they ever try to be together here, Daniel?”

“Sam, please. I don’t know what’s between them. I just know I thought that they would work out their feelings after Sam broke her engagement with Pete and Jack broke up with Kerry. It just never happened. I didn’t ask either of them why and neither of them volunteered to talk to me.”

“She was engaged to Pete Shanahan?” Sam asked doubtfully as if she couldn’t believe it. “He must not have had her investigated here then.”

“Oh he did. Not only that but he stalked her to a stake out while we were trying to catch Osiris.

Almost got himself killed and nearly cost us the mission. Jack was fit to be tied.”

“And still she was engaged to him?” She couldn’t really believe that. “She didn’t see him for what he was?”

“I take it you knew him too?” Daniel asked turning the question back to her. Sam blushed and Daniel smiled. It always amazed him that she could turn such a pretty shade of hot pink.

“Yes, I had a couple of dates with him, but Jack put a stop to that before it went very far. Showed up at my house one night when I was supposed to go out with Pete. Then when Pete had us both investigated it almost resulted in Pete getting killed. I never talked to him again after that. That’s when Jack and I received permission from General Hammond to get married.” She smiled at Daniel and he pulled away from her.

“That’s probably the incident that caused the fork. Jack didn’t stop Sam from dating him here. Hell, he didn’t even try to stop her from marrying him.” Daniel looked sad. “Guess you have your answer.”

“I’d still like to talk to your General O’Neill. You think it would be possible?” Sam asked.

“You want to try and play match maker?” Daniel’s eyes twinkled at her. “Go ahead; it couldn’t make things any worse for them.” He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and punched in his speed dial number for Jack then handed her the phone.

“O’Neill.”

“Jack?” Her voice was broken. Sam swallowed hard. It felt so good to hear his voice. Tears formed in her eyes again as she tried to find the words to talk to someone she loved so much yet realized it wasn’t him.

“Carter? What’s up?” Jack couldn’t believe she had called him by his name. It was not like her.

“Jack, I miss you so much.” Her voice broke and the words just slipped out. She was so glad to hear Jack’s voice that for a minute she forgot it wasn’t her Jack. His voice was identical. She covered Daniel’s small phone until she could catch her breath. Hearing his voice had reinforced her fear that she might never see him again. “I’m sorry. I know you’re not really him. It’s just that… well…your voice is exactly the same as my husband’s.”

“Oh. ….Uh…you’re obviously not the Carter from this reality are you?” He asked, shaken to his core at hearing her words and her voice so filled with love for him….not him….

“No. I guess you know all about the mess here. There are too many of us to count. Jack?” She hesitated for a split second, “Don’t give up on her. She loves you more than you’ll ever know. Daniel mentioned a little about her and Pete. She couldn’t have loved him, Jack. She was already in love with you.”

“Maybe in your world. But not here. Carter made her choice and it wasn’t me.” He still felt a heavy sadness each time he remembered.

“Jack, I know you. Don’t be foolish and throw away the best thing that could ever happen.” She begged him.

“Well, maybe if you don’t get back we’ll talk. But as for her…. She never loved me. I have to go now Carter. I’m late for a meeting.” He broke the connection before she could say anything else.

“He’s the most stubborn person alive! I know. I live with him.” She exclaimed to Daniel. “No wonder she’s not with him. He’s never learned how to break down the walls here. I bet she loves him.”

“Sam, please. I can’t answer that. Ask her. Maybe you’ve done enough to make Jack start thinking anyway.” Daniel commented.

“Well, it helped just to hear his voice. Thanks Daniel.” She stood up and then looked back at Daniel, “If for some reason we are stuck here, you…. No… of course that would never work.”

“You would go after him wouldn’t you?” He asked her.

“No! ….I don’t…. …Yes…. Oh, Daniel. I need Jack. I need him in my life.” Her voice continually lowered an octave with each word she spoke. Tears streamed down her face. Daniel pulled her to his chest and hugged her tight.

“You’ll get back. I know my Sam. She won’t give up. And with so many of her… uh… doubles …here there’s just no way you won’t get back home.” He spoke softly against her hair, hoping against all hope that he was right. Not just for her sake but for all of their doubles that were stranded here.

00o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sam stood at the door watching all the different women that looked like her, lost in her thoughts about Jack. She had watched the two Sams that interacted the most, the Sam of this universe and the Sam that was first to be stranded here. They were both more like her than any of the others. She had found out that they had all three lived the same life until they meet Pete Shanahan. That seemed to be the catalyst that caused their fork in the road and made their lives different from that point.

Jack had stopped her from dating Pete after only a couple of dates. She and Jack had started seeing each other at that point. The Sam from this universe had been engaged to Pete, but broke up with him because she was secretly in love with her Jack but she was yet to tell him. The third Sam had married Pete Shanahan. The fork in the road for the three of them had turned out to be how they each related to Pete Shanahan.

Thank God that her Jack had let her know how he felt. Maybe he loved her more than the other Jacks? She had no answer for that, but she counted herself among the luckiest women here, those that were in a relationship with their Jack O’Neill. Most had developed relationships much earlier than hers, but she didn’t think they could possibly be more in love than she and her husband. She watched and smiled.

0o0o0o0o0o

The problem had been discovered and solved; and this SGC was ready to start sending them all home. She still could not believe that –she-- in any reality could attempt to steal a ZPM from an alternate universe. Maybe she had been wrong about her and that Sam being the most alike. Or maybe that incident was the results of that Sam leaving Jack O’Neill behind in her personal life. All she knew was that she felt like one of the luckiest women alive! Again.

She really hoped that she had put a spark in both this reality’s Sam and Jack. She knew they both cared for the other. That much she had determined from her inquiries. Now she could only hope that they find each other. For some unknown reason it made her happy to think that she and Jack were together in most realities. It somehow validated her belief that she and Jack were meant to be together even though she hated the term ‘soul mates.’

0o0o0o0o0o

“It’s SG1’s code, sir.” Walter announced.

“Open the iris!” Brigadier General Jack O’Neill yelled and ran down the stairs to meet his long overdue team. Jack stood at the bottom of the ramp waiting for SG1 to come through the gate. They were days overdue and he was a nervous wreck. All he had thought of since their appointed return was what if they…she… didn’t come back. How would he live without his Samantha, his wife?

He had been commander of the SGC for over two years. He had turned down an appointment to Home World after George retired because he didn’t want to be away from Sam. He wasn’t sorry either. He loved every minute they spent together and he knew he didn’t want a long distance relationship with her. He wanted her home at night in his bed. And she was except for one or two nights every other week or so that she was off world with her team.

Sam was promoted to SG1 team leader and the rank of Lt. Colonel when Jack was promoted to the base commander of the SGC. Major Cameron Mitchell was also promoted to Lt. Colonel and assigned to SG1 as a matter of thanks from Hammond after his year long recovery from injuries received during the fight over Antarctica. Mitchell led a team of dog fighter pilots from the Prometheus.

Jack stood lost in his thoughts and waiting at the ramp. He didn’t know what he’d do if she didn’t come through that gate…. …now. Jack never took his eyes from the blue vortex. It seemed like days since it had formed and the ripples waved silently across the gate.

This Ori threat was way worse than the Goa’uld, Jack thought. The Goa’uld he could predict and fight. The Ori were different. Just the simple fact that they couldn’t be seen made them far more dangerous. And to innocent and naive natives they did seem to make magic. They fooled a lot of people on a lot of worlds. That made the SGC’s job much harder and gave Jack much more to worry about.

Teal’c walked through the gate followed by Mitchell then Daniel. Jack held his breath until he saw her. At once all the breath in his body seemed to expel through his mouth causing his lips to sputter and then snap shut. He didn’t realize he had held his mouth open, not breathing just waiting to see her. His chest ached with fear that she had been left behind.

Sam locked eyes with him as soon as she walked through the vortex never stopping as she walked off the ramp into his waiting arms. Usually she wouldn’t allow him to hug her at the base but this time she dropped her back pack and handed off her weapon and pulled him into a scorching kiss.

“I guess it was a tough mission?” Jack asked as soon as he could get his breath looking into her loving eyes.

“You could say that.” Daniel answered smirking at his friends.

“Indeed.” Teal’c commented. It had been too weird, too many of one’s self was…well.. weird.

“I don’t know I found it sorta fun.” Mitchell commented. “I kinda liked talking to… well…me.” He said with a snug grin on his face.

Sam, Daniel and Teal’c all turned at once looking at him as if he were a two headed alien. Jack just felt relief.

“What?! You didn’t find it just a little bit fun?” Mitchell asked smirking at the three of them.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Major General Jack O’Neill watched the phone as if he knew it would ring. He had stared at the phone for over twenty minutes straight. He wanted to pick it up and just call Carter. The comments from the other Sam had haunted him for days. What if she did feel that way about him? What if he could be with her?

Somewhere in the back of his heart he had let hope be renewed. But what exactly had he hoped for? That the Carter that spoke to him with such love would be stranded here with him? Or that he could work up the courage to try to work things out with his Carter? His Carter. That was such a joke. She had never been his, and Jack didn’t think she ever would.

But he wondered just what had caused the difference in this time line, reality or whatever the hell it was. Why had that other Carter loved him.. …not him, but... that Jack? Why had she wanted to call just to hear his voice even if it didn’t belong to her own Jack?

The phone seemed to be teasing him. ‘You’re a chicken, O’Neill.’ He really wanted to call her. But what if she didn’t want to talk to him? It had been well over six months since he’d talked to her.

They’d had a lot of fun--the four of them at his cabin. He remembered every second, every single look that past between Sam and him. He’d gathered his team and they had spent almost two weeks just having fun and hanging loose after the defeat of the Goa’uld and the Replicators and the death of Sam’s father. He’d really wanted to try to get together with Sam, but he just didn’t feel like that was the right time. She had just broken things off with her fiancé and Jack knew she had to be hurting from the loss of her father and Pete.

She didn’t need him and his baggage just then. He really had hoped that they could try and work things out for them. But Cassie had needed Sam then Landry had requested her return to the SGC and then the Ori… It just never seemed to be the right time for them and Jack had given up. After all, if Sam had wanted to be with him or even be friends she would have come to see him at least once with Teal’c and Daniel. They both had made trips to DC to visit with him on some of their down time.

That seemed to be proof to Jack that Sam no longer had romantic feelings toward him. She was too young for him, that hadn’t changed. But now it seemed to bother him even more. He was fifty three and Sam was barely forty. Sam was still young enough to have a family. He would be old enough to be gram-pa! That thought had stopped him dead in his tracks many times. No she didn’t need him in her life and now that there was time and space between them, why drag all those old feelings back up?

But then he could hear the other Carter’s voice. It had played havoc with his heart. He had distinctly heard the love and need for him in that woman’s voice. Those little words ‘Jack, I miss you so much,’ had repeated in his mind until he thought he’d go crazy. Jack had wanted to hear Sam say something like that since they had parted ways. He had actually let himself think what he’d have done if that Carter had been stranded here. He had thought about it so much that he felt ashamed. Selfish jerk that he could be! He was good at chastising himself. But it was easier to fit himself into that Carter’s feelings than to go through the pain of establishing a real relationship with his Carter.

The phone stood still and silently taunting. Why couldn’t he pick it up? What was the difference in his reality and theirs? Did he love her as much as that Jack loved the other Carter? Could he really buck up enough nerve to call her? He placed his hand on the receiver.

END or NOT?

Thanks for reading! ‘Til next time!