Team Bonding
Team Bonding
by mishy_mo
Summary: maddness in it's purest form - SG-1 find a crate of something, Teal'c suggests it was alcohol and the madness ensues!
Category: Humor, Romance
Season: Season 4
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: GEN
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2004-12-22
Team Bonding
Disclaimer; I don't own Stargate yada yada yada... no money mad etc.
Season; 4- ish
Pairing; S/J (duh!)
Author's note: Madness in it's purest form.
Team Bonding
'Daniel, what the hell is this?' Said Jack O'Neill commander of SG-1.
'Uh ...' looking closely at the crate and the markings on it. ' I dunno Jack.'
'Teal'c?'
'I believe it is a form of alcoholic beverage O'Neill.'
'Alcohol?' exclaimed Jack optimistically.
Stepping forward Teal'c opened the crate to reveal a chamber filled with about 10 gallons of a deep red liquid that swirled appetisingly with every jolt of the box. Lights from the equipment round Samantha Carter's lab twinkled like stars on the surface of the shimmering solution.
'What are you guy's doing in here?' Sam Carter entered her lab and instantly became wary as the mischievous faces of her teammates looked guiltily in her direction. Rather like three sons who's mother had just caught them with their hands in the cookie jar. But in this case the liquor cabinet.
'Eh...' said Daniel as eloquently as usual. Danny was the little brother, the cute one, the one where his cuteness got him into more trouble than he could handle with out big brothers' or mother's intervention.
'Teal'c recons this is some kinda... what did you say?' Jack looks at Teal'c. Jack was the ring leader even though he was the middle brother, the attention seeker, the troublemaker. Although Danny seemed to get into just as much trouble, Jack went looking for it, which made it all the more interesting.
'Alcoholic beverage.' Teal'c was the silent one, the one unfortunately who was easily led, especially under the leadership of Jack. Which results in situations like this; situations that Jack has knowledge of and Teal'c has none, situations where Jack leads his elder brother right into trouble and face the wrath of Sam Carter.
'Alcohol!' she whispered angrily. 'What do you mean alcohol why didn't you say anything when we picked it up, here was me thinking it would be something which led to the scientific breakthrough of the century but noooo.' she extended in a sing-song motherly matter-of-factly way. 'It turns out to be some fruity, naquada-y wine!' the loudness of her voice increased exponentially as she completed the last sentence.
Three pairs of eyes wide in shock and fear looked upon the quivering Major in the threshold of her lab.
Tentatively stepping forward Jack motioned her to go further into the room, while he closed the door, preventing a scene and the rumours from getting too bad around the SGC.
'Sir,' she said with a distinct tone of authority and lapse in respect, 'I will not permit alcohol in my lab.'
'Carter,' Said Jack his authority coated smoothly in a persuasive voice. 'We should keep it here and do tests on it. I mean look at it. Is it supposed to look like that.'
Jack was entranced as he would be watching his yo-yo spinning wildly on the end of it's string. The flowing liquid shifted with ease the lightness and ...
'It's all floaty' Jack came to the conclusion after watching the swirls for a few seconds.
Her scientific mind kicking in she looked in to the deep crate to get a better look at the mysterious fluid.
Soon all four members were mesmerised by the 'wine's' continuous patterns, as the intoxicating, enticing, alluring fumes filled the lungs of those in the room.
'This is unlike any alcohol I have seen' Said Teal'c.
'Wonder what it tastes like?' Said Sam, thinking out loud.
The three men around her tore their eyes from the contents of the crate and stared at the Major.
Realising that she was now the focus of their attention she tried to justify her words.
'I was just thinking out loud.'
They all looked back in the crate.
Jack, their fearless leader took the point and cautiously dipped his finger into the liquid. Those around him looked on in envy, each drip from his long digit was followed back into the crate, until the source of the drips reached it's final destination. A sound of immense delight then came from the colonel.
'What's it like?' said an awestruck Daniel.
'Wow, it's just wow.'
'Who's going to get cups?' ever the practical as well as theoretical mind Sam came up the answer to each of their internal dilemmas.
'I'll go.' Said Daniel eagerly bolting for the door only to return moments later his task complete and cups in hand.
Each with a cup in hand they proceeded to drink greedily.
'Homer'sh bald'
'An' Mar'shes hair ish blue!' uttered a pissed Daniel.
'No,' Said Jack drunkenly and annoyed. 'Homer, Carty you'sh noe the homer I talk bout.' His eyelids closing for second too long to considered normal blinking.
'Gen...genreel hammy' replied Sam eagerly.
Daniel giggled unabashedly. 'You'sh call homer hammy!'
A booming laugh of Teal'c sprung from the corner, then suddenly there was silence. The three humans ignored him, he'd been doing that for the past two hours. They had all been drinking for two hours, and the crate was still only half empty.
'I'm sooo bored, wha' we gonnie do?' Said Jack.
'I dun know.' Said Sam.
'It'sh you labritree !' shouted Daniel feeling as bored as Jack.
'Sh'always me, why do I need to thunk, it's too hards.' She whined.
'Musicy chairs!' exclaimed Daniel.
'Yay' came the cheers of Jack and Sam as they jumped to their feet.
But the excitement was short lived as they soon found that their legs had collapsed beneath them and their asses laded firmly back in their chairs.
'Well ma leggys won' move sssho no danshin.' Said Jack.
'Me too.' Said Sam now looking more bored than Jack and Daniel put together.
'We play sh'at musicy chairs when ah can move k?'
'k Jackie.' Said Daniel setting down his fifth empty cup.
'Truth or'sh Dare!' shouted Sam proud of her accomplishment of thinking with out thinking about thinking.
'Carty, thish ish why ya here.' He ginned lazily in her direction.
'Yay Sammie!'
'Truef a dare?' Jack asked Daniel.
'Truef!' he said proudly.
'Wha d'ya keep in ya top desk drawwer?'
'Fluffy pink diary and lot'sh of chocly and coffee!'
Sam and Jack burst into tears of laughter barely being able to stay on their chairs.
'Truef or Dare Sammie!' Daniel cried over the din.
'Truef!'
'Wha' d'ya keep in you'sh top drawr?'
'Chocly and a picture off Jackie.' She said bursting into giggles about her own confession.
Jack sat dumbfounded and almost sobered while Daniel toppled off the stool landing ungracefully on the floor.
At this they all erupted into laughter Teal'c included, in the end it was his laugh which rang on for a few more seconds than necessary.
'Truef or'sh dare?'
'Truth!!' he shouted, knowing what was in his top drawer wouldn't be that funny or incriminating, his grin from ear to ear.
'd'ya really sway it wash ya sidearm?'she leaned forward waiting for the answer.
'Nope, I sway eh wadn't ma sidearm!' he said his eyebrows waging.
Sam and Jack where doubled over with laughter, while Daniel lay confused on the floor.
The game continued like this until Daniel said he had wore women's underwear, then in a desperate attempt to regain his once held dignity he awkwardly tried to take his trousers to his knees to show them he was wearing boxers (today at least), after much protesting from Jack but little from Sam, unless you count hysterically giggling, he got as far as undoing his button and fly before he stopped only cause he could go no further in his striptease. Mutually deciding the game had gone to far they stopped playing and silence descended.
It was a good ten seconds before Jack broke it.
'So'sh what we up to at weekend'sh?' asked Jack lapping at his cup once again.
'Shleep' answered Daniel his eyes could be seen drooping even in his current position on the floor.
'Working...on a naqidy ractor.' Came Sam's echo.
'Carty when you'sh comin fishy wi' me?'
'Somey time sssir.'
'Why you'sh neva come before?'
'Caush we'd...' and she goes into an uncontrollable fit of giggles, falling to the floor.
In the mean time Daniel slumped against the floor passing out with out complaint.
'Samie, Samie!' he said pleadingly. ' Here more'sh' offering his cup to her.
'luv you' she said taking the cup.
Sliding to the floor Jack sat and watched her drink then taking the cup downed the rest.
'Jackie do you'sh luuurrve me?'
'Ye'sh, coursh a do.' then holding his arms wide he said. ' I luuv you'sh thish much.'
Holding her arms wider she said. ' I luv you'sh thi'sh much.'
Suddenly Danny sat up straight and said loudly. ' I don' luv Jackie or Shammie but I luuuuuuv Jannie.' And that was his last moment of consciousness for hours.
'Danny liksh Jannie!' Sam burst into giggles again. Lying on the floor she looked up at Jack who was sitting near by. 'Jash can ah go fishy wi you'
'Yup, yup, yashu'u betchu.' He said lying down next to her staring up at the celing.
' 'k.' she said snuggling into his chest. The uncomfortable concrete floor ignored by both their drunken senses.
It was there they lay passed out.
'I luuuuvv you'sh guysh' said Teal'c, ' You'sh ma family' looking round proudly.
Then he took up the same state as the rest of SG-1.
'This is how we found them sir'
General Hammond looked painstakingly slowly over the scene before him. Among the lab equipment strategically placed around the room was the unconscious forms of SG-1, supposedly the SGC's premier team. The crate stood inconspicuously in the middle of Samantha Carter's desk.
'Get them to the infirmary.'he sighed
'I think my ears are still ringing' said Jack as he walked from the general's office as quickly as possible with SG-1 in tow.
'Yeah,' said Sam rubbing her temples in attempt to calm her hang over headache. ' I think we should leave base before he decides that he forgot something and calls us in for round two.'
'Yeah good idea. Why don't we all meet up at my place.' Said Jack.
With that they separated to go and get ready to go to Jack's.
Recognition
`My head hurts.' Muttered Daniel nursing a cup of coffee hoping that the sweet liquid which had saved him on many occasion before would work it's wondrous magic again. But no such luck.
`Mine too.' Came a chorus of Sam and Jack's voices from the couch across the room.
Teal'c remained silent.
SG-1 was slouched in Jack's living room sinking deep into the plush cousins trying to think about anything else other than the small very annoying person in each of their heads so intent on throwing anything against the inside of their skulls, each pulse vibrating through their head. It hurt to think, so Daniel and Sam where suffering the most while Teal'c got off the lightest with Junior and `reaming' removing a fair chunk of the pain.
`What the hell did we do yesterday?' asked Jack sinking further into the pillows on his couch, finding the comfy spot his body fitted perfectly into, years of hockey watching and the couch repaid him by moulding to his frame.
`We were in Sam's lab.' replied Daniel.
`What were you doing in my lab?' she stood up and shouted regretting it instantly as she flopped unceremoniously back on to the sofa and into Jack. A collective wince around the room at her words. Reaching her final destination, Jack's chest, she didn't bother to move, completely lacking the energy and the will power to move away from the strangely comfortable position she now found herself in. Comfortable and vaguely familiar.
`Carter?'
`I can't move, plus you're comfy.'
He pondered this for a moment then the pain from thinking kicked in and he just say `ok.'
Jack lacked the energy to make her move any way, and beside the situation was causing a nice distraction from the thudding in his head.
`And in case you didn't notice you ended up in the same state as us so you must have turned up at some point.' Said Daniel completely un-phased by the couple on the couch.
`Good point.' Said Sam.
Silence descended among the hung-over team.
`Floaty' sad Jack all of a sudden, ` I remember something being all floaty.'
`Yeah, the crate.' Said Daniel.
`The wine.' Interjected Teal'c talking for the first time in an hour, emerging briefly from his trance then instantly lost to the world once again.
`The wine' exclaimed Sam, burring her head in Jack's chest.
`Oh boy' muttered Jack, closing his eyes briefly at the memory coming back to him.
`I got the cups.' Daniel admitted guiltily.
`Yeah, but it was Carter's idea.' Said Jack standing up for Daniel.
`Uh huh and you tasted in first.' Said Sam with her own come back.
`So I did,' his head fell slightly.
They where all guilty, collectively, SG-1 sealed their own fate.
`What happened next?' asked Sam her eye's shut.
`Uh can't remember.' Said Jack.
`Homer' said Daniel quietly.
`I didn't know you watched the Simpsons?' said Jack shocked that he was only just finding out his friend was a closet Simpsons fan.
Daniel looked at Sam willing her to remember.
`Hammond.' She muttered, almost as shocked as Jack.
`Oh right.' Said Jack, a look of realisation taking hold.
`Actually, Sam, I think you called him `Hammy'.'
`I did not.' She said indignantly then she faltered in her resolve and asked more nervous, `Did I?'
`Yeah,' Jack replied the memory now clear in his mind. `We were well and truly pissed, and after only five cups.'
`So what happened next?' asked Daniel setting down his precious cup now the head ache seemed to be subsiding.
`Hang on...' said Jack his head clearing also, ` we were bored, then...'
`...you wanted to play musical chairs.' added Sam remembering the events clearly.
`Uh yeah sorry `bout that guys.'
`But we didn't play.' Exclaimed Jack, only remembering because he was clearly upset about it at the time.
`No I don't think we did.' Said Sam.
`Oh right yeah... who's bright idea was it to play Truth or Dare?' said Daniel, generally worried about his friends remembering what was in his top drawer.
At this the two sitting on the couch sat in confusion for a few seconds. Truth or dare? they thought. But soon the memories came flooding back like a broken damn sweeping away their hangover. Awkwardly Sam pushed up from her comfy spot throwing herself ungracefully to the other side of the couch and as far away from the colonel as possible. Sitting at attention they stole glances in each other's direction to see what they we're doing, their eyes locked and they broke out into identical guilty grins.
Daniel watched in fascination.
Jack noticed the curious man across the room after a few seconds of this strange exchange.
`Carter came up with it Danny. So...' he added with a grin, `pink diary, chocolate and women's underwear?'
Daniel scowled and flushed scarlet red.
`Yeah and I guess that you remember that Sam has a picture of you in her top drawer!' said Sam buried her head in her hands, ` And what was all that about a side arm?'
Sam laughed at the memory, Jack's face also breaking into a grin.
`It's a Antarctic thing.' Replied Jack, then he paused thinking for a moment. `You know Janet and Hammond probably walked in on us to see you with your pants half way down sprawled over the floor!' Daniel didn't like being left out, not one bit.
`Yeah Daniel she might think about going out with you after seeing those manly Bugs Bunny boxers.' Injected Sam.
At this Daniel got pissed and decided to hit back low, very low; `Uh huh and what about you two?' both of them lost their grins instantly, swapping them for and unmistakeable panic stricken one, ` what did you think you were going to get up to at Jack's cabin?' he said looking at Sam. ` And about this much wasn't it Jack?' holding his arms wide imitating the movements the man in question.
Three pairs of eyes were locked in an angry glare, a fourth observed the scene impassively.
The room fell into silence, it was Daniel vs. Sam and Jack. Even thought the odds weren't in his favour being two against one and all Daniel held his own for two minutes, after which he began to slip the force of two air force offices being too much for one archaeologist to handle.
`O'Neill.' Jack lost all concentration, so did the rest of the humans in the room at the sound of Teal'c soothing voice.
`Perhaps we should make a concordat, over yesterdays events, I do not think any of us wish those said events to be mentioned ever again.'
`Say what?' said Jack.
`A pact,' said Sam, then adding a little too late, `sir.'
`Right.'
SG-1 looked amongst them finding the anxious faces of their teammates and friends, an agreement to the pack already confirmed in each of their glances by way of their almost telepathic abilities.
`Ok'
`Yes'
`Yeah'
`I believe it is a most wise plan of action.' Said Teal'c after receiving approval of his plan.
`So what do we say to the general?' asked Sam, voicing the question on everyone's mind.
Best Laid Plans of Generals...
`We don't remember a thing.' Said Jack, standing defiantly in front of his CO.
`I think the liquid and it's fumes are some kind of narcotic.' Said Sam backing up her own CO's story.
`And me and Teal'c haven't managed to translate the writings on the crate yet but we'll give you a report as soon as we've finished.' Said Daniel wanting to get his own word in.
The commander of the SGC observed his premier team closely as they stood confidently before his desk. Perhaps confidence was the wrong word, smug covered it a little better.
They thought they we're going to get away with it.
But little did they know Hammond knew exactly what was in the crate.
The Tok'ra had informed him (while SG-1 was intoxicated) that a `crate' mysteriously disappeared from the last planet they were on. This discovery was re-enforced by the fact that Captain Busby, the member youngest of the archaeology department, had managed to decipher the markings earlier this morning, after pulling one of the Jackson/Carter-style all-nighters.
Hammond chuckled at the memory of the caffeine shaking captain hading over her report, knowing the night she must have had he put her on downtime for a couple of days. It actually worked out better this way, because now Hammond had a plan. There wasn't a snowballs chance in hell that SG-1 was getting away with this last escapade.
Oh yes the general had a plan, he was just waiting on re-enforcements.
`Dad! What are you doing here?' Asked Sam enveloping her father in a huge hug.
Carter senior had turned up at the SGC after receiving not necessarily an urgent message from George Hammond, but an interesting one none the less.
One that detailed the reason why he was really there must be kept secret until they had had a chance to talk face to face.
`I got sometime off, especially since I was injured after my last mission.' He answered nonchalantly. Then adding with a little more enthusiasm, he quipped, `Can't a man come and visit his daughter once in a while?' grinning mischief evident in his tiring eyes.
Sam knew better than to ask about her father's last mission, no doubt he wouldn't want to talk about it or he wasn't allowed to.
`I'm so glad to see you!' she said finally letting him out of her embrace.
`So what's been going on?' he asked, when he knew fine well what was going on. Although the message may have been cryptic, there where enough clues there to form a firm conclusion that SG-1 had been up to something recently.
Sam blushed ever so slightly and replied, `Oh nothing much.'
/Hmm/
//Jacob what are you thinking?//
/I'm thinking my daughter is hiding something and Hammond knows what it is!/
`George, do you want to tell me what's going on with my little girl?' Asked Jacob anxious more than anything.
`Jacob, come in, take a seat.'
Closing the door behind him Jacob did as his old friend asked. I front of him he seen an open file which concerned SG-1. Hammond noticing his interest handed the file over and let him read it.
After reading and re-reading a stunned Carter stuttered his thoughts into words.
`And they claim they don't remember a thing?'
`Yes that's their story.' Said Hammond smiling.
`Jacob if it is what I think it is they should remember every thing, after a little time granted. It just doesn't work like that!'
`Exactly what I thought Jacob.' His smile spread to a grin, ` so how do you feel about getting a little truth?'
`How do you intend to do that?' said Jacob leaning forward.
//Jacob what are you doing?//
/I'm going to find out exactly what happened!/
`SG-1 report to the infirmary.'
Spoke Hammonds voice across the intercom.
SG-1 looked to the heavens as if the voice of God had spoken to them, they where all patiently sitting in Daniel's lab as he frantically tried to translate the writings on the box using digital photos and his trusty blackboard.
`I'm almost there guys, I can have this finished in an hour.' Said Daniel desperately not wanting to leave his latest project and interrupt the momentum.
`I take it your gonna wait here then?' asked Jack, eyebrows skyward in mock surprise.
`Yeah, could you tell the general that me and Teal'c are gonna keep going with the translation.' His eyes wide with the 15 cups of coffee he had ingested in the last two hours.
`Right, I suppose half of SG-1 is better than nothing.' Said Sam heading for the door, `Bye guys.'
`Colonel where is Daniel and Teal'c?' enquired Hammond.
`There working on the box, Daniel said he'd have it done in an hour and he was already on coffee number 15.'
`What did you want us down here for anyway sir?' asked Sam.
`Well kiddo, we were wanting to do some tests on the stuff you two drank the other day.' Came Jacobs voice as he entered the room with said liquid.
Simultaneously their shoulders dropped and the shrank back for the ominous crate.
`What?'
`Huh?'
Jacob smirked as he put the crate down an the table, straightening his face before he truned to face half of SG-1.
`We want to test it on some subjects, and SG-1 are the only people we can assure won't have any adverse affects form drinking it. So you two get to play the guinea pig for a few hours.'
Jack stood in shock, if his knee hadn't healed so well he would have collapsed right there, Sam felt similarly.
`Why?' she spoke softly.
Jacob cringed inwardly; this was the hardest part of the plan, trying to convince probably the smartest person on earth to do something extremely stupid.
`Well Sammie, we discovered some interesting chemical bonds and we want to test what it does to the human body, and since you don't remember anything...'
Now there was the smart part; they could either admit to it now or get themselves in deeper. The generals where holding out for the second option and it looked like the `test subjects' where reacting well to it.
Pride stopped them from admitting they had lied, however black and huge or white and miniscule, their integrity was more important than looking stupid.
The guilt added to this so in the end Jack and Sam agreed to take part.
Unbeknown to them the generals grinned evilly as soon as they turned to the crate.
`Who do you want?'
`I'll take Sam, we don't want any conflict of interest.'
`Right so that leaves me with Jack.'
Jacob was silent in thought for a moment.
`Do you think we should have brought Daniel and Teal'c down?'
`Maybe, but the colonel and the major should know enough to tell us exactly what happened.'
Jack and Sam sat happily in the infirmary, identical grins plastered on their faces and cups filled with the `substance' in their hands.
`Major could you follow me please?'
Sam leapt from the bed and stumbled in the direction of Hammond voice, wine slopping all over the floor.
`Can Jackie come?' she asked.
`No the colonel is going with your father.'
`K bye Jackie.' Said Sam bounding out of the infirmary, and into and unsuspecting sergeant.
`Jake sh'ma going wi you?' Jack asked innocently.
`Yes Jack.'
The two generals walked their drunken charges to opposite isolation rooms. Doors open they could see each other but not here what was being said.
`So Sam do you want to tell me what happened the two days ago?' he asked politely.
`I walk in ma lab, and'sh the guys were in thes'sh lokin' in shum box, Teal said it was alkie... alkie wine, Jackie taste it, Danny cups. Then Jack said homer'sh bald.' At that Sam lost the will to speak for two minutes surrendering to a fit of giggles, pointing wildly in the generals direction she started shouting `Homer' repeatedly.
Hammond was one seriously pissed off general.
Luckily Jack was steaming ahead with regaling his tale.
`It's just this last symbol Teal'c.' Said Daniel.
`I believe that symbol means blood or life force Daniel Jackson.'
With that Daniel drew his finger across the line of text mumbling incoherently. He snapped the notebook shut.
`We have to tell Jack and Sam.' He said running from the room in a panic.
`Where's Major Carter?' he screamed bursting into the infirmary.
A shocked nurse answered. ` She's with the general, so is Colonel O'Neill, they're doing some experiment on that alcohol' she said with a disapproving look.
`Their in ISO rooms three and four.'
And he was gone.
`Why you little...'
Almost finished with telling Jacob exactly what happened on that momentous day, he suddenly found himself being pounced upon by an angry Tok'ra.
Rushing in to see what happened, Hammond saw Jacobs fingers twitching around his 2IC's neck.
`Homer.' Jack whispered hoarsely.
In between the giggles of an incapacitated Major across the hall vague plea's of
`Daddy stop it!' could be heard.
`Jacob!' barked Hammond.
He released Jack but not before hooking him in the jam before letting him slump into unconsciousness.
In the mean time Daniel came running down the corridor screeching at the top of his voice.....
Gang aft Agley
In the mean time Daniel came running down the corridor screeching at the top of his voice, `It's the Blood of Sokar!!'
Skidding to a halt behind general Hammond, Daniel stared in shock at the scene before him. Jacob, although he had relinquished Jack, still stood menacingly over him, as the crumpled heap moaned with the return of consciousness.
`Jake what wa'sh that four, I fought I was dead, d'you know Homer's God?'
Even amongst the severity of the situation Daniel couldn't help but smile at the man's comment, but Hammonds jaw was still on the floor and Jacob looked like the devil himself.
Silence rung through the quiet hall.
A few moments later the delayed giggle of Sam echoed across the hall and into the room. They all looked, startled, in her direction.
`Jackie how can Homer be God if he'sh here?' giggles reminiscent in her voice as she stumbled into Daniel.
`Sammie...' said Jack trying to get up.
`DON'T YOU DARE!!!' bellowed Jacob.
Jack was floored by his voice, literally, the dull thud of his head once again hitting floor sounded through the room.
Sam frowned, moving into the room she stood squarely in front of her father, swaying slightly, protecting Jack from him.
`What?' she said.
Daniel noticing where the conversation was headed, since he was the only other who could guess how it started, decided to remove a rather dangerous factor.
`Ehh general, can I talk to you?'
Daniel lead him away from the potentially court-marshallable evidence the room was filling with, thankfully there was little protest from the man being lead to Daniels office due to the shock he was still in over seeing Jacob's hands gripping Jacks neck.
`What Dad? Said Sam a drunken rage simmering within her.
`What the hell do you two think you're doing?' he answered his rage meeting hers.
`Nothing.' She spat back. Her body straightening ready to attack.
`Woh woh. Ma head.' murmured Jack from the floor, finally sitting up, `Sammie?'
The Carters had a silent glaring contest for a few more seconds, but Sam relinquished her gaze opting to defy her father and tend to Jack.
Surprisingly Sam was now quite sober as she kneeled down next to her CO helping him to stand.
`You ok Jack?' she asked, her father's eyes blazing in her direction at the sound of his name.
Supporting Jack with her hand on his shoulder, Sam walked defiantly to Jacob she said, `I'll talk to you later when both our heads are clear of this stuff.'
Together they left the room heading towards the infirmary, and though Jacob was angry Selmac calmed him,
//Jacob what's the problem they are clearly in love//
/They aren't allowed, it's the regulations/
//But they have loved each other for longer than I've known them//
/...what?/
//Jacob, you must trust your daughter, she has loved this man deeply for longer than you know and still has acted professional in every mission you have been on together. And don't say you didn't expect it Jacob you've seen how close they are, all of SG-1. Plus Jacks not so bad I think he'd make a great son-in-law.//
Selmac laughed internally at the shock the fired though Jacobs mind.
/You're a sick woman you know that/
//Yeah your not squeaky clean either!//
Peering out of the room Jacob watched to two enter the elevator down the hall, their conversation meeting his ears.
`Homer's god, I know.' Said Jack triumphantly.
`Yeah Jack.' Said Sam sarcastically.
`It'sh really cool, but you Sammie you're my angel.'
Jacob could mentally picture them both grinning as the entered the car.
/Oy/ he thought as he left the room to follow catch up with them.
The Truth
Jacob hurried down the corridor and hopped into the elevator just as the doors began to close.
Their grinning faces fell at the sight of him and Sam stood in front of Jack shielding him from her father once more, Jacob noticed her hand in his, and he smiled inwardly.
`Now, now Sam I just want to talk to `Jackie' here.' He said calmly, before hitting the emergency stop button. `We're not going anywhere and where's the dignity in beating up a drunken man.' He added smiling.
She smiled despite herself; squeezing his hand reassuringly she stepped aside but still keep a close eye on her father.
Hr moved forward, backing Jack into the corner then placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in a not so reassuring way.
`Now Jack I want the truth, have you ever hurt my daughter?' he asked seriously.
Jack looked at Sam.
`Jack!' barked Jacob, gaining his attention once more and eye's locking fiercely with the younger man's.
`No, I'd rather die than hurt Sammie.' Tears welled in Sam's eyes at the familiarity of his words, reminiscing of the Zay'tarc testing.
`Would you jeopardise her career?' Asked Jacob still deadly serious.
`I'd never ask her to do that.' Mumbled Jack.
Jacob's eyes softened. `Do you love her?'
`With all my heart.' Then turning to Sam, he open his arms wide as they could go, `This much and more.' He said with a big goofy drunken grin on his face.
Jacob released his grasp on the guy's shoulder thinking on Sel'mac's previous statement.
Hmm Jack as a son-in-law
He shivered once more.
Jack noticing the tears in Sam's eyes moved forward and enveloped her in a hug.
`Hey, hey what's wrong, homer's god and your dad doesn't seem to want to kill me anymore.' he said grin still present on his face.
`I'm fine.' She said, her arms snaking round his waist and resting her head gratefully on his chest.
Jacob pushed the emergency button and turned to the couple.
`Right I'm coming round to this idea, slowly. But what about George?'
`Alien Influence.' Suggested Sam, still in Jack's embrace.
`Yeah which makes you tell the truth! So square one.' Answered Jacob.
`Well...' said Jack, as the doors sprung open to reveal a happy Daniel.
`You three have got to see this.' And he darted away laughing his head off.
Bets and Barbies
Confused and drunk (in Jack's case at least) the occupants of the elevator shared a quizzical look before following Daniel. Winding through the corridors they found themselves heading towards Hammonds office, and despite Daniel's condition Sam and Jacob shared a worried look as they continued to follow him. Jack was far more interested in watching his fingers and Sam's become entwined and turn into a mesmerizing jumble of digits.
Much to Sam and Jacob's relief Daniel strode past Hammond's office to the briefing room where he stopped just inside the door staring amusedly at something at the table that was currently unseen to the other occupants of the hallway.
Reaching the door the three of them stopped dead, and in open-mouthed shock took in the scene before them.
Around the room was a flurry of paper, scattered across the floor, piled on the table and concentrated around the lone figure sitting at the table.
One General George Hammond.
One highly intoxicated General George Hammond.
Stepping tentatively into to the room, careful not to stand on SG-teams mission reports from the last few months.
George could be seen working frantically of a piece of paper turning it this way and that, folding this bit, tucking that corner before launching it unceremoniously in the direction where it would veer of course swinging back in the direction of the general.
Upon closer inspection it could be seen that each of the federal documents resembled the shape of an aeroplane.
While the others stood silent and still open-mouthed or doubling over with quiet sniggering laughter, Jack picked up one of the projectiles and slung it forward, where it did twirls and acrobatics the red arrows would be proud of before colliding with its creator's head.
`Hey!! Oh Hi Jack!!' he squeaked and slurred, `You know I was a champion paper aeroplane maker as a cadet!! I'm trying to break my record and throw it through the stargate!'
`Not if I beat you Homer!' said Jack inches from taking a seat next to his commanding officer, before being guided away by Sam to Hammond's office closely followed by Jacob and George.
`Ooo the boss' chair!' he said, hoping into the plush leather chair behind the desk.
`Jack!' Sam hissed, being completely ignored.
Plopping George down in another seat Jacob closed the door behind them leaving Daniel alone with his fits of laughter.
`My head is shiny.' Said Hammond randomly, after catching his reflection in the cabinet behind his desk.
`It is you know.' Said Jack seriously as if only first noticing, though he had now started spinning wildly in the chair.
Strategically stopping the chair so she was mere inches from the occupant, Sam looked sternly into his eyes.
`Jack, stop it.'
`Ok Sammie.' He said almost close to tears before reaching round her and hugging her stomach.
`You know I've got money on you two.' Said Hammond, '50 bucks between me and the president, so if you two don't hurry up and screw...'
`George!' screeched Jacob.
`What? Regs, Jakie, that's what I was going to say you dirty old man, not each other.'
Jacob cringed, while Sam and Jack grinned amongst their blushes.
`But if they did that I get another 50 bucks.' murmured the general to himself.
`Hey guy's!' said Daniel appearing at the door, `Why did you leave me out their on my own?'
`It doesn't matter,' Said Jacob trying to get a hold of the situation, `Could you take General Hammond to the infirmary and get him sobered up?'
`Okay,' he said disappointedly, Hammond was a lot more fun when he was drunk.
So with cries of `I like Barbies!' going down the halls George disappeared leaving Jacob to contend with Sam and Jack, who where still caught in an embrace, though Sam had the sense to peel Jack from her at the sight of her fathers glare. But she could not help nor did she want to prevent Jack's hand from slipping into her own.
Jack grinned before standing, pulling Sam's arms around her before kissing her gently, his fingers tracing her cheekbones.
`Oh I give up!' spoke Jacob leaving the room in search of painkillers for his head.
Ah young love thought Sel'mac.
While inside the office Jack pulled from the kiss, watching as Sam opened her eyes slowly.
`So.' She said.
'So'
'50 bucks.'
`100' he said wagging his eyebrows, his arms tight around her waist.
She grinned, her fingers moving through the hair at the base of his neck. `I think we should go fishing.'
`That sounds like a great idea!' he said excitedly, ` but wait until I get some painkillers for this headache.'
`Oh I know a cure for that.'
`What?'
`Well it involves you, me and a long hot shower.'
THE END
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