Epilogue:
He took one last breath of breathable air and girded up his figurative loins before entering the hospital. He hated the place...places, actually-the infirmary, the civilian hospital, or this one-they were all horrible places to lie around in and even worse places to visit.
But...he hadn't seen Carter since he'd almost glimpsed her heading down the hall in the dark to get Jacob and Peter. Daniel had told him she was fine. Janet had spoken to him twice on the phone and assured him she would recover without incident. Hank had told him she'd be up and at 'em in no time, but he and Lois would plan on keeping the boys for a while. General Hammond had called from Washington to say he'd stopped by on the way out of town, and she was going to be just fine. Even Walter had remarked he'd dropped by and said 'hi', and she was looking well.
He was apparently the only one who hadn't found the time to see his own wife. The Ori's timing could not have been worse if they'd been in league with the group who'd come after Ally. Neither set of bad guys were going to be causing him any more trouble; however, the paperwork they'd left behind them would be a millstone around his neck for days, if not weeks, to come. But, he'd finally managed to dig himself out from under the messes they'd left behind them long enough to escape the Mountain and here he was stepping through the door of one of his least favorite places on the planet.
She was asleep when he stepped cautiously around the cloth curtain separating her from the cadet in the next bed who'd hit the wall a little too fast and a little too hard out on the obstacle course.
Half of him had hoped the Shanahans would have the boys up for a visit while he was there. He'd have liked to seen for himself that they too were really just as 'fine' as everyone kept telling him they were. But, this was better. Like old times. How many times had he sat in a chair and waited for her to wake up? How many times had he sat watching her sleep hoping everything he was feeling wasn't broadcasting itself all over the infirmary and out into the hallways?
They'd danced around each other for seven years, and to one degree or another he thought he'd loved her from the very first day they met. Not in the wanting to spend the rest of his life with her sort of love. More of the impersonal love a man naturally felt for a beautiful woman. Love was possibly too strong a word for it...appreciation maybe. He'd had a deep, heartfelt appreciation for her from the moment he'd seen her.
That had rapidly deepened to something more as he'd had time to get to know her a bit. He'd immediately loved her quick mind and hadn't been a bit put off with her 'yes, I'm a woman-how astute of you to notice-now can you just deal with it and let us get down to business' attitude. That was a proactive reaction common to most of the women in the military he'd run in to.
By the time, they'd returned from that first mission, he'd just as willingly have offered to take her home as he had Daniel and later Teal'c. But, of course, she hadn't needed him to. She'd been strong and independent and more than capable of making her own way in the world...and he'd loved that about her, too.
Sometime over their first few trips through the Gate, she'd learned her gender wasn't a liability as far as he was concerned, and he'd discovered a lot more reasons to love her. She laughed at his jokes and kept her complaints to herself. She was way smarter than him but she never forgot he was the colonel. She was also a better shot than him, but she didn't feel the need to point it out every chance she got. She was a fine, disciplined soldier, and he'd loved her for it just like he'd loved most the men he'd trained and fought with through his years in the service. Every time they walked together through the Gate, she'd proven her worth.
And somewhere along the line, he'd let his guard down. He'd forgotten she wasn't just another one of the guys, forgotten she wasn't just a fellow officer. He'd forgotten she was a woman. Oh, not in the sense he no longer saw her as beautiful or didn't enjoy the chance to watch her six. But, in the sense that he'd forgotten he needed to be careful or one day he might wake up and realize he didn't just love her but was IN LOVE with her. As in wanting to spend the rest of his life with her. As in wanting to protect her, care for her, laugh with her, make love to her, and spend every possible moment he could making her smile.
By the time he'd remembered, it had been too late. He'd spent years painfully dealing with that mistake, never acknowledging it, pretending even to her that it hadn't happened. He might not have fooled anyone-Hammond had certainly known before he'd fired that Zat the second time and Janet, too. Both of them trying to quietly talk around the subject while he'd resolutely refused to acknowledge it even existed.
No, he probably hadn't fooled anyone, but he'd given it a very good try. Good enough it had become part of the very nature of their relationship. He'd proposed and married her without once telling her he loved her. Of course, she had accepted and gone through with it without saying the words, too. They were in some ways very much alike.
Which was why times like this, even now with rings on their fingers, were still awkward. They'd spent too many years not saying the things that needed said. If all she would do was wake up, see him there, and smile...it would be enough. He could go back to the Mountain and do what needed done knowing she really was fine.
But he owed her more than that. He owed her the words to express how he felt about her, how he needed her, how the thought of her death was more than unbearable.
For the most part, those weren't the kind of things he knew how to express. Or she knew how to accept from him. For a while there after the accident, he hadn't been able to stop saying the words as though he needed to get out every one he'd ever swallowed down instead of uttering. His gushiness had amused her only slightly more than it had made her uncomfortable. She'd been as relieved as he when he'd gained the emotional equilibrium to give it a break.
So he sat and watched her sleep and decided he could get by with his old standbys: a lame joke or two, a bit of sarcasm, and a cynical remark. Somehow she'd always managed to get the message behind them before, and he guessed she would again.
Unfortunately, she woke up before he'd gotten around to coming up with just the right comment.
"Hey," she said and gave him a smile.
"Hey yourself," he answered quietly. She reached out her hand and he took it. Wordlessly he patted it. His usually razor-sharp wit had abandoned him.
"How long have you been here?" she asked.
"Umm..." he looked blindly at his watch for an eternity. "Not long," he finally stammered out.
"You ok?" she asked him.
In answer he shifted to the side of her bed and very carefully stretched out beside her. He laid his head on her shoulder and shook it. "No, Carter," he said. "I'm not ok. You know how I hate hospitals. You've got to quit ending up in them because I think it's going to kill me."
"Ok," she said. "Next time, you can have the bed and I'll take the chair. Fair enough?"
"How about we just stay home and order pizza instead?"
"Doesn't sound very adventurous to me."
"Adventure is overrated."
"Yes, Sir," she agreed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It didn't rain the day he brought her home that second time. It snowed. A thick, white heavy snow that blanketed their temporary home like a welcome home banner.
In the euphoria and excitement following the annihilation of the Ori, he'd optimistically assumed a couple afternoons stolen from the paperwork would be all that was needed to make their house once more livable. Replace a few windows, patch up a few holes in the sheetrock, slap on a dab of paint here and there--it would be as good as new.
Daniel had gone silent when he'd mentioned he planned on dropping by the house to see how much work needed done, but Jack still hadn't cottoned on.
Carter, lying in her hospital bed with Jacob and Peter bouncing around making her nervous, had gone white when he'd told her he and Ally were on their way out to the house. "You're not taking Ally out there," she'd said. He'd thought she was overreacting, but to humor her, he'd left Ally behind when he went out.
The gaping, black holes in the walls, the dried blood in the hallway, the chalked outlines, Ally's shattered picture, and Jacob's red blanket left behind in the secret room had convinced him. He'd returned to the hospital as white as Carter. "So," he'd said, "anything in particular you want in a house?"
His desk had still been covered with a million piles of paperwork that needed filled out in triplicate over the whole Ori thing. And every piece of it painstakingly reviewed and reexamined twice that many times to make sure he hadn't inadvertently let the truth slip. No one must ever know that the defeat of the Ori had not been the result of quick thinking and action by the trained men and women of the SGC (though they had behaved with valor and he'd have the whole base up for commendations if he could) but the knowledge of a people long dead in the mind of a little girl. He hadn't had the time to devote to house hunting.
The Shanahans had once more ridden to his rescue. Finding a furnished rental house ready for occupancy in the middle of a housing crunch had to have been a task almost as insurmountable as defeating the Ori, but they'd pulled it off. The six-month lease would give them time to buy another house, and, in the meantime, they wouldn't be living on the streets.
Carter had been agitating to get out of the hospital from the very first day. Janet and her staff had not stood a chance at keeping her in for any length of time. The family had had to spend a few days imposing on Daniel, but now they were home. He grinned over Ally's cap at her as he killed the ignition.
She smiled back. While he carried enough flowers and balloons into the house to start a flower shop in their new living room, she and Ally climbed out of the truck and stood with their mouths open catching snowflakes on their tongues.
With Janet's stern doctor's voice echoing in his ears, he almost didn't do it. But he'd never been one to listen to medical advice, so behind the shelter of the truck he quickly packed a handful of snow into a ball-
"Don't do it, Sir," Carter said without even turning. He nonchalantly dropped the snowball and carried in the last of the flowers. He stomped his boots heavily on the wooden steps of the porch and left them in the ensuing quiet.
Carter grinned at Ally. Ally looked at her. Carter had given her the gifts of life, love, unconditional acceptance, understanding, patience, and sacrifice. And in return, Ally had a gift for her as well. She reached out and took her mother's hand. She pulled it so that Carter squatted down beside her, the remnants of a grin still on her face.
"What is it, Sweetheart?" Carter asked.
And for the first time, Ally answered her. "I love you." Carter closed her eyes and then opened them again. She smiled at Ally and pulled her close for a long hug.
"I know," she whispered in Ally's ear. "I know."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The postmark was dated the Monday after her arrival at the hospital. It had been rerouted from Jack's old house, to Daniel's apartment, and finally to the rental which still didn't explain why it had taken three weeks to catch up to her.
She'd received numerous postcards like it before: a far-away, exotic scene with the scrawled words "Wish you were here". All the years he'd sent them, he'd never bothered to write anything else besides her name and address...but this one was different--he'd included a note.
"Hey, hope this reaches you in good time. We're enjoying our vacation-no tigers or bears. This place reminds me of Roswell. You should bring the kids and join us. I'm sure George could give you a lift."
There was no sentimental closing at the end or even a sloppy 'Jack', but that was all right.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"How did you know it was safe to come in?" she'd asked him while she was still lying in her hospital bed.
He'd pulled the string of a balloon with 'Get Well Soon' emblazoned on it and let it pop back up. "Jack?" she'd asked again.
He'd turned to her then. "I didn't," he'd said, and she'd known then that he'd been on his way offworld. That he'd intended to take Ally and disappear forever. It was what she'd asked him to do, but...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She saw now, she'd been wrong; he'd never meant to leave her behind forever. He'd intended for her to bring the boys and join Ally and him offworld. He'd dropped the postcard into a mailbox on his way to the Mountain. On the way to the Gate that would have taken them to some planet where he had access to a ship of one sort or another. Which would have taken him and Ally to a world where she would have been as safe as she could be.
'This place reminds me of Roswell.' Roswell with its little green men that just happened to look a lot like his old buddy Thor.
He would have taken Ally to the Asgard after all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The doorbell rang again. Assistant Chief Francis sighed. At least it wasn't his beeper. He could count on one hand the Halloweens he had actually not been called into work over his many years on the force. But, he thought as he hefted himself out of his recliner for at least the dozenth time that evening, working the holiday might be preferable to being stuck with the door answering detail at home. He was tempted to dump the rest of the candy in the bags or pumpkins or whatever whoever out there on his front porch was holding, lock the door, and turn off the lights.
Picking up the big bowl, he plastered an almost welcoming smile on his face and opened the door.
"Trick or Treat," the tall man holding a chubby baby in his arms said, but neither he nor the little, dark-haired boy at his feet held out a bag or anything else for treats.
The chief recognized them immediately. "Dr. Jackson," he said.
"Hi, I though--I thought you might want to know how things turned out the other night. That you made the right choice."
"I saw the report of the shooting downtown...the woman?"
"Right. She's going to be fine. And so are Jack and Ally."
The chief nodded. He squatted down and said to Jacob, "How about some candy, big guy?"
Jacob smiled at him and accepted the offered Tootsie Rolls. "Fanks!" he said in his little boy voice.
Chief Francis straightened back up. Daniel met his eye, "That's what we came to say-thanks."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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Inside the Dragon's Egg
by OffworlderKapitel Bemerkung:
Occasionally a story draws to a close with just a few bits and pieces left over. Sometimes they don't amount to much, and it's easy enough to dump them. But every once in awhile, the picture they evoke in my mind is too vivid for me to let go. Or they tie up a point that for one reason or another didn't get covered in the story, and things just feel a bit undone without them. Though I include them here as a sort of epilogue, they are really just the leftovers. You can decide if they are worth saving or not.
Kapitel Abschlussbemerkung:
My thanks to StarnightSam for the back and forth...it helped tremendously. And, since you insist I'll one day be thankful you forced me to write the Sam and Jack scene for the epilogue even though I was DONE...thanks in advance.And thanks to Carol Sue who, as always, tirelessly worked to cross my t's and dot my i's and had to put up with me saying, "Yes, I know how Cassie Frasier spells her name, but I think Cassy looks a thousand times better and so does the Cassy who lives in my house, so Cassie can just deal with the fact I misspell her name!" It's a thankless job you do, but you do it extraordinarily well.
And thanks to the writer who lives in my house...your input and encouragement make a difference.
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