By quikshadow
EMAIL: quiksilvred_shadow@yahoo.com.au
RATING: G
CATEGORY: General, humor
SUMMARY: Hundred ways to know you're obsessed with Stargate.
SPOILERS: None
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a light fun fic.
DISCLAIMER: Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
Your obsessed with Stargate when:
1.You own all available season box sets
2.You recorded all episodes off the TV
3.Collected lots of Stargate memorabilia
4.Using Naquadria for your science project
5.You carry around a Zat gun
6.Knowing how the Stargate works (scientifically)
7.Thinking your teachers or parents are possessed by Goa'ulds
8.Putting up a secret fan club for one of the characters
9.When you claim that you know Anubis
10.Write or read fan fiction (Obviously)
11. When someone mentions little green men, you correct them by saying they are little grey Asgards.
12. When you refer the Stargate characters members as your personal friends
13. When someone offers you a Jaffa (candy) you claim that your not a Goa'uld and don't need any
14. You start speaking the Goa'uld language
15. You study to be an Astrophysicist so you can one day study the Stargate
16. You know all the code names of different planets
17. You claim to have flown a Death Glider
18. Explaining that the Stargate is real and why
19. You know the dialling sequence to all of your favourite planets
20. You start being sarcastic like Jack O'Neill
21. Every time you see a pool of water you think it would transport you to another world
22. You know how to read and write Goa'uld
23. You know how to read and write Ancient
24. When you start living on coffee
25. When you find yourself saying 'Indeed' when you agree or confirm
26. When you stargaze you point to different stars claiming to have visited planets around them
27. When you hum the opening scene of Stargate almost all the time
28.When you claim that Stargate opening theme should be the anthem
29.When you're obsessed with Wormhole Xtreme
30. When you claim to have been in another galaxy
31. When you learn how to Ascend
32. When one of your friends is a Tok'ra
33. When you want to train in the Jaffa warrior ways
34. When you have a crush on one of the characters
35. You claim to have been in an Asgard ship
36. You claim Thor is your friend
37. Every time you see toy machines that look like spiders you claim them to be Replicators
38. Naming your pets or children after the characters
39. Thinking your boss is possessed by a Goa'uld
40. When you claim the Stargate to be the biggest find in the history of the world
41. When you do a history project on the Stargate
42. When you finally know which Ancient invented the Stargate
43. Claiming you're an Alien that came to this world through the Stargate
44. You love Jell-o more than before
45. Thinking someone close to you works in the Stargate programme but wont tell you
46. When you write a 20 page essay on Wormholes
47. Claim to own Zats and Staff weapons
48. Convince the local law enforcement that Zats are safer to use then shooting criminals with a gun
49. When you have tonnes of pictures of Stargate characters
50. You cheer for the Goa'uld because you feel sorry for them
51. You keep inspecting your stomach to see if you have a Jaffa pouch
52. When you join the Airforce in the hope that one-day you'll get to go through the Stargate
53. You claim to own your own Jaffa army
54. You claim to know how a Goa'uld Mothership works
55. When you use crystals to store data
56. Every snake you see you claim it to be some kind of Goa'uld symbiote
57. When you claim to be a Tok'ra
58. When you think you can use a Goa'uld Hand device
59. When you insist that a Goa'uld personal shield is the best protection in the world
60. When you refer to humans you say Tau'ri instead
61. You often say "Kree"
62. When you think your possessed by a Goa'uld
63. When you use a Staff weapon in a Shooting Gallery
64. When you use a Ring Platform to make life easier
65. When you claim to be a god
66. When your over dressed and declare how good you are to your captured enemies/friends
67. When you try to find where the Stargate was originally buried
68. When you know how to use a DHD (Dial Home Device)
69. When you're sick of seeing trees on other planets
70. When you have a strange obsession with artefacts
71. When you get a tattoo on your forehead like the Jaffa
72. When you request Jaffa armour
73. When you like the Tok'ra fashion sense more then the earth fashion sense.
74. When you find out what Jaffa eat
75. When you own your own Naquada Generator
76. When you know all the background of every character
77. When you study to be a doctor then study all the Alien viruses that had come through the gate
78. When you claim to have been inside Prometheious
79. When you personally know Oma
80. When you claimed to have visited Abydos before it was destroyed
81. When you try to build a home version of the Stargate
82. When you start smiling at everything
83. When you always completely engross yourself with a piece of Alien technology
84. When you watch other Sci-fi shows and flicks you always (somehow) reference them with the Stargate
85. When you see someone with bodyguards you immediately assume they're Jaffa and the person who they are protecting are a Goa'uld
86. When you establish a no killing Goa'uld society.
87. When you change the colour of your eyes or hair to match your favourite character
88. When you think you've been cloned
89. When some one mentions one of the Ancient Egyptian Gods you immediately think of a Goa'uld System Lords
90. You find some way that the Ancient Egyptian Gods connect with the Goa'uld System Lords
91. When you try to figure out why the Asgard were named after Norse Mythology Gods
92. When you know how to operate Asgard technology
93. When Daniel died you held a funeral service in his honour (plenty of funerals...)
94. You find out the characters' birthdays and celebrate them when the day comes around
95. You added your own lyrics to the Stargate-SG1's theme song
96. When people start declining to go out with you for fishing
97. When you call everyone by his or her last name
98. Whey you start talking with "O'Neill-isms"
99. When you're convinced that everything in Stargate-SG1 is real
100. When you answer yes to one or more of these things on this list.
The end