MEMOIRS OF
BRIGADIER GENERAL JACK O’NEILL
(Retired)
Part II
Chapter Three
By Arrietty
2005
I stayed on Jonas’ planet for another week; I needed the normalness of home life. I found out during that week that Kianna’s mother didn’t have long to live, and that Kianna and Jonas would be taking Malia in to live with them soon. I was pleased that Malia was safe and she was fun to have around. I taught her the rudiments of baseball. Jonas had picked up a bit on Earth and so promised to practice with her. I also wrote a letter to Hammond.
“Can you give this to General Hammond when you next see him?” He nodded. I knew that I could rely on Jonas to do as I asked.
He most probably thought it was some important information about dark green giant fur balls, but it wasn’t. I just asked George to use some of my pay to buy Malia some baseball gear. You can’t practice baseball without a glove, now can you?
~*~
The week went by quite fast, I avoided the Grenut committee at all costs, and there was no way I was going to get within smelling distance of one of those again. I was quite safe, because as usual committees always took a long time to organize anything. If it had been up to me, the problem would have been sorted out within a couple of days. Fortunately for me and the Grenuts, it was not.
~*~
My pack was bulging with extra goodies that Kianna had made for me. I stood in front of the Stargate, a few officials were there, I’m still not quite sure why, maybe it was to make sure I really left. And of course Jonas was there, grinning as usual. All my clothes were clean and nicely pressed. Fortunately, I had convinced Kianna to use non fragrant washing powder. I didn’t want to be famous around the galaxy as ‘Jack the rose petal’. I had already said my farewells to Kianna and Malia. I was going to miss them, but at least I knew I was coming back.
“Do you know where you are going, Jack?” Jonas asked me.
“No, not really,” I replied as I waved the small piece of paper under his nose. “I just jotted down a few addresses off the main computer at the SGC. Ones we have never been to before.”
“Isn’t that a bit risky?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Nah not really. No more than usual.”
“I mean, you don’t know what’s on the other side.”
“No, we never do really.”
“Jack, you don’t understand what I am getting at. I mean there could be a rock face, under the sea or even no air.”
Frowning, I turned to Jonas. “Cheery chap aren’t you? You know just how to make someone feel excited about venturing out into the vast universe.” With the last word, I outstretched my arm and made a sweeping motion in the air.
Grimacing, he continued. “So, you have no idea if you are going to go ‘splat’ on the other side or not then?”
‘Where on Earth did you learn words like that, Jonas?’ “Nope, but I will find out in a minute or two.” I watched as the fifth chevron locked into place. “And if I go splat, I will be sure to let you know, so you don’t go splat if ever you go to this address. Okay?”
“Ah, talking about addresses, Jack...”
Cutting Jonas off. “Right, time to go,” I quickly folded the piece of paper and stuffed it into one of my many pockets, before Jonas wanted a copy of the list.
The event horizon had just settled into place. It was a valid address, and that is always a good start. I shook Jonas’ hand. “See you around, Jonas.”
“Bye, Jack. Thanks again for your help.”
“Hey, you know, only too pleased to wrestle a giant green tribble for you.”
With that said I quickly turned on my heel and marched up through the gate, chanting to myself the whole way, ‘I will not go splat, I will not go splat.’ Clutching my P-90 ready to use if needed, I stepped through the blue puddle.
My boot landed on soft dry dirt. The other one followed. The sucking sound popped behind me as the Stargate shut down. Quickly I scanned all around me, checking for any danger. I really missed the back up of my team. It was going to be interesting doing it this way.
The scenery was different, if not a little boring. The land undulated with small hills and was covered in small scrubby green brush. There was a distinct smell of sulphur in the air. There was no sound of animals or birds, but a quiet whooshing noise and small plopping sounds were coming from just over a small ridge.
Making my way carefully, I climbed up to the small ridge, pulling out my monocular as I went. The ridge was made of hard white rock that was smooth and slippery to the touch, making it hard going. The sky was overcast with clouds and the air was cold. When I reached down to push off the rock to lever myself up a steep part of the trail, the ground was warm to the touch. As I drew closer to the brow of the ridge, the plopping noise became louder.
When I reached the top, I crouched down and cautiously peered over the edge. Below me was a vast valley, full of dark green scrub. Wisps of smoke or cloud hung low over the bushes, wafting gently in the breeze. Looking down at the source of the unusual noise, I saw a large round pond. It was full of dark grey boiling mud. It danced and jumped as the gasses below bubbled up to the surface, making a plop each time the gas was released into the air. The sulphur smell was very strong. There was a large blackened tree growing beside the pool. How it managed to survive I could not work out. A large branch overhung the pool, its leaves covered in a white ash-like substance.
I lifted my monocular up to my eye and scanned the surrounding area. There was no sign of life, except for a large building on the other side of the valley. Quickly standing up, I carefully made my way around the boiling mud pool and worked my way down to another trail that led through the brush. I still hadn’t seen what had made the trails, but something must have, because they seemed to lead through the dense bushes.
~*~
I was half way across the valley, when I felt the ground begin to shake. Crouching down so I wouldn’t lose my balance, I waited until the tremor subsided. But it didn’t. A loud whooshing sound was increasing and seemed to be coming closer to where I was. Without warning, a large spout of water shot up out of an outcrop of rock and straight up into the air. It seemed to last forever, before the water fell straight back down again. Too late, I made a dive for cover. I was drenched in warm sulphuric water, thankful that the cold air had cooled down the boiling water before it had landed on me.
Slowly, I stood up. It was quiet and there was no sign that it had happened, except for the surrounding ground running with rivulets of water through the dry dust. Oh and of course one smelly, wet, retired United States Air Force General. I banged the water out of my hat on my leg and then placed it back on my head. I was definitely beginning to feel the cold now. I could feel a trickle of water working its way down my neck between my shoulder blades. Pulling my pack closer to my back, promptly soaking the drop of water into my clothes, I continued on down the track towards my goal.
At first I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I whipped my head around, there was nothing there. Just the dark green bushes covered in that sulphuric grey dust. I was beginning to wonder if the fumes were getting to me, because a few moments later I thought I saw something again. I waited for ten minutes without moving, but there was nothing there. Well, nothing that I could see.
It had taken me two hours to traverse the valley to the building. It was derelict, no one was living here and there weren’t any human tracks surrounding the building. There were small bird-like scratches on the dirt ground in the front of the building, but I couldn’t see what had made them. I thought maybe they were insects - little did I know how close I was to the truth.
I pulled out my flashlight and switched it on as I peered in through the open doorway. The building was large and empty. Moving further in, I could see a long low bench along the far wall. I quietly moved to the back of the building, sweeping the interior with my flashlight, aiming my hand gun with the light. The bench was covered in a fine dust, which was all lumpy and uneven. With my unsheathed knife, I prodded the dust with the handle; pushing the dirt aside, revealing canvas. Putting the knife away, I gently lifted the canvas and peeled it back off the bench. A cloud of dust billowed up into the room, sending me into a fit of coughing. I quickly lifted my other arm up and placed the sleeve of my jacket over my mouth and nose. What was in front of me would have kept Carter going for several months. The amount of doohickeys that were scattered across the bench was amazing.
Once the dust had settled, I was able to lower my arm. Lifting a few of the objects in my hands I carefully studied them before placing them into my pack. Some were obviously beyond any use as the sulphuric atmosphere had corroded them. In fact I was quite disappointed that out of all the objects on the bench, there were only three that could be of any use. One of them lit up when I touched it and went dark when I quickly dropped it back on the bench. Quickly I looked around and behind me, making sure that I hadn’t awoken anything by touching this small gadget. Luckily I hadn’t, so I gingerly lifted it again and placed it gently into my pack.
There was nothing else of use, no writing on the walls that I could take photographs of for Daniel and no more doohickeys for Doctor Lee. After placing everything back in my pack, I started back out into the light. As I passed through the doorway, something caught my eye. Just along the wall inside the door was a large wooden box. It looked rotted and broken, but you never know there might have been something of use in there. The light from the doorway rested on the front of the box. Quickly turning back into the building I knelt down on one knee and fiddled around the front of the box. There was a catch, but it was hard to release because of the corrosion on the metal. With a large thump on the edge, it was released and I lifted the lid up.
Now you must remember that I am a seasoned soldier. I have faced snake infested monsters, been tortured by Baal and fought hand to hand with the best of them. But there is one thing on this Earth or any planet for that matter, which I really do not like and that is bugs. Okay, the Earth ones can be cute - they just scurry here and there and mind their own business half the time. But the ones that we have come across off world, well they are a completely different story. At this moment, I think I would have preferred to come face to face with a replicator.
As soon as the lid was up, the black swirling mass that was inside crawled out over the sides and up my legs, onto me. And I was running, hitting the things off with my bare hands. They were big, their shiny black bodies about the size of a golf ball. Their bright green long legs scurried and clawed at the material of my pants. I was covered in them. I ran outside into the light, my feet were knocked out from under me and I crashed to the ground onto my back. I regretted putting the hard containers against the back of my pack as they dug hard into my spine.
The spiders momentarily forgotten, I looked into a small grey face as it peered closely at me. Then there was another, crowding in beside it, and then a flash of light and everything went black.
~*~
I could hear a chattering noise before I could see anything. My head was pounding as I felt the blood thumping itself around my skull. I was hot, even though I was only wearing my pants and t-shirt. Opening my eyes I peered through mist and steam. A loud plop sounded just by my ear. Twisting around, I looked at the source of the sound. That was when I realized I was hanging upside down, over a mud pool. Whether it was the one I had seen before I had no idea, they all looked the same to me; hot, smelly and very muddy. Looking up my body I could see that my arms were tied to my torso and I was strung up by my ankles by a very insecure looking rope. The rope was attached to a long branch that came out from a large blackened tree. I recognized this place. I started to twist and struggle a bit but stopped as the knot by my ankles slipped slightly and I moved closer to the boiling mud.
Hanging very still, I dared not move. I carefully looked around, trying to see a way to escape, when suddenly, I dipped and swayed. Looking up at the rope, thankfully, I could see it was still fastened. Then I saw a movement above on the branch. It looked like a small hairless grey monkey, but without a tail. It was chattering and bouncing up and down on the branch. I was sure it was laughing at me. Then another one joined its friend and the branch lowered me closer to the boiling mud. In horror I saw more of these creatures climbing up the tree; they were all going to climb onto the branch.
“Hey, you can see a man have his head boiled from the bank, you know.”
They chattered even louder and more sprung onto the branch, and my head was getting hotter and hotter. At first I thought they were innocent bystanders, until one of them bent down and refastened the rope onto my ankles, making it more secure. I was partially relieved, but then that meant these guys meant business. One of them I found particularly annoying as he bounced up and down on the branch, taking me dangerously close to the pool.
That was when I heard the sound of horse’s hooves. Twisting my body around, I looked behind me. Six mounted men were galloping up along the track towards the tree, and the little creatures became very agitated by their presence.
“Hey you guys, I need a little help here!” I yelled across to the bank. One, who I pegged as the leader, glanced over at me before bending down over my pack to prod and poke around the gear. As he straightened up, I noticed he had all my stuff in his hands and he tied them to the saddle of his horse.
“Oy! That’s my stuff. Leave it alone.”
He walked towards the tree as though he hadn’t heard me. Reaching up with one large hand, he grabbed one of the creatures by the scruff of its neck and shook it hard. It squealed with fright and all the other creatures went quiet. The man growled at the creatures and shook the one in his hand again, making it squeal and chatter extra loudly.
Then the worst thing I could imagine happened - well not quite the worst, but it felt like it at the time. All of the remaining creatures clambered onto to the branch. As I dipped lower and lower, I felt my hair brush along the sticky mud. All I needed at that moment was a large gas release below my head and then it would be cooked general for lunch.
Shutting my eyes tight, I waited for the extra large plop that would be the end of me, but instead I felt myself moving up through the air towards the tree branch. Opening my eyes, I watched, amazed, as all the creatures tugged on the rope and hoisted me onto the branch. It was not comfortable, that was for sure, but a lot more desirable than hanging over a boiling hot mud bath. Then they lifted me up onto their hands above their heads and carried me down the branch and lowered me down onto the ground, not too gently I might add. Now I know how ants carry their food around.
I looked up at the man that still had the creature by the scruff of the neck. “Thanks, I was getting a little overheated there.”
His reply was a scowl and a grunt, before he walked slowly around me. I began to wonder if I had hopped out of the frying pan into the fire, so to speak. I followed his movement slowly with my eyes, waiting for him to actually say something. He snorted then grinned and gestured to one of the creatures nearby. None of them moved, so he shook the helpless creature that was still hanging from his large paw. One of them quickly moved towards me and untied my bonds.
As soon as my feet were free, the man dropped the creature and moved towards me. I never found out what happened to the creatures, because the next thing I knew, his foot met my chest and I was knocked flat back onto the ground. A grunt escaped me as I hit the dirt. I quickly spun around onto my feet, but was met with another kick from a totally different direction, this time it got me in the side. I heard and felt the rib crack as the foot made contact.
I grunted in pain, gasping for breath. Trying not to cough, I crouched over the dusty ground trying to regain some kind of strength. I started to climb back up to my feet, but was kicked to the ground again.
There were six of them, and they all took turns. Realizing that I was not going to be able to fight my way out of this one, I curled up into a ball and tried to protect my head the best I could with my arms. The pain shot up into my shoulder as I heard the bone crack in my wrist. Then another sharp pain in my hip. Then my back. I heard the yell and whoop before someone jumped on my leg. The snap of broken bone echoed around the valley, mingled with my screams of pain. They seemed to avoid my head, for which I was partly grateful because that could have killed me, but the thought of being knocked unconscious does have its attraction when you are being beaten to death. I got my wish when a badly aimed kick caught me in the face, bright light exploded in my brain and it went dark.
~*~
There was a familiar smell, I couldn’t work out what it was, but I had smelled it before. I was moving, how I wasn’t sure. My whole body was wracked with pain as I joggled and bounced my way along. Opening my eyes - correct that, my eye as one wouldn’t open - I could see the ground moving past. Now I knew what that smell was, it was horse. I had been slung over the back of a horse, legs down one side and torso down the other. It hurt. Coughing in the dust, sharp pain assaulted my ribs and everything else that was attached to me. I groaned.
A guttural sound came from behind me and I felt something hard come down on my back. ‘Yes, I get the message. If you are going to die, do it quietly.’ I began to wonder if maybe they liked to tenderize their meat before eating, so they beat it. I couldn’t think of any other reason that they had kept me alive and not tipped me into the nearest mud hole.
My mind began to wander as I bounced along the rough track. A small feeling of regret and wishful thinking about the soft leather chair back at the SGC trickled through me. And then Sam’s smiling face danced before my eyes and I immediately squashed that feeling. This is what I wanted, so if I didn’t like it I would have to put up with it. The horse stumbled and I tried to stifle a cry of pain as my broken leg banged against my other one. The passing ground slowly faded to grey just before I passed out.
~*~
I came to just as the horse stopped, although the pain unfortunately didn’t. I could hear the thump of feet as the men dismounted their horses. Two well worn boots appeared in my vision, from where I hung face down. Without any warning, a hand grabbed the belt of my pants and yanked me off the horse, causing me to fall into an agonizing crumpled heap on the ground. I lay as still as I could. Maybe if they thought I was dead they would leave me alone. I could hear a sound, a familiar sound as the chevrons locked into place. Then the kawoosh as the Stargate burst into life.
Once again, I felt the man grab the belt of my pants and lift me upright. The ground began to spin and sway in this different position and a sharp shooting pain shot up my leg, I looked down at my leg to see bone protruding from my shin. ‘Uh oh, this doesn’t look too good.’ Fortunately, my captor still had a firm hold of my belt. He slung me over his shoulder, once again causing me to cry out in pain. He carried me a short distance and then stopped. I could feel and hear the Stargate event horizon oscillating right beside me. He pulled me down off his shoulder and supported me. I watched mesmerized as one of his henchmen threw all my gear through the Stargate, my pack, my jacket, my boots and my P-90. I groggily turned my head around and looked at the man that was holding me up.
He poked his dirty stubby finger into my chest and spoke gruffly in a language I had never heard before. He nodded once and then lifted me bodily up into the air. The next thing I knew, I was sailing through the air and then was traveling through the wormhole at great velocity. As I came out the other side, I vaguely recall blue sky, warmth and lots of people and it was very white. Then it was dark.
~*~
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